People In Long-Term Relationships Explain How Quarantine Has Affected Their Relationship
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but does that mean extended periods of time in close confinement make the heart grow a little ... stabby? If so, this pandemic and needed quarantines have probably had some interesting affects on relationships.
One Reddit user asked:
Redditors in long-term relationships, how has quarantine affected your relationship?
... "interesting" was the appropriate word choice.
So Much Closer
couple hug GIFGiphyIt's brought my wife and I a lot closer. I work 2.5 hours from home, 10 hour days (plus 6-8 hours overtime twice a week), 4 days a week. So I usually leave on Monday night and get home Friday night.
I've been home every night since November 18th, so getting to put my 1 year old daughter to bed every night, get up with her every morning, and spending all day with her and my pregnant wife (which allows my wife a nap every single day) has made this the best month of my life, even with me doing almost all of the household chores. According to my wife, it's made the last month as close to Heaven as a pregnant woman can get.
Rock Bottom
We hit rock bottom not long ago. We talked and we're working on things now. It's been tough. We live together and it's almost impossible to have some alone time. This has been one of my main problems.
I miss missing my boyfriend, you know? Spending every minute together is great, but up to a certain point
For me it's important to have my own life. You know, leave the house for work, meet up with other people. Without that I get depressed and the more time we spend together, the less excited I get about being a couple basically.
I don't like this routine. We've been together for 5 years and lived together for 4.
It's always been fine, but being forced to stay at home is a completely different story
I Hope It's The Apocalypse
Me and my girlfriend were living together for a year before lockdown, so we ended up being with each other during lockdown. It has been brilliant, we've just grown closer together and now believe we can get through anything! Next test is the apocalypse I guess.
At least I hope it's the apocalypse and not kids lol.
Call It A Day
We decided to call it a day and I moved out.
We had been seeing each other off and on, 8 years. Had been going strong for about 3 years though. We didn't realize how little we had in common until quarantine.
A Snapshot Of Retirement
Closest my wife and I have ever been. We've been married for 2 years and together for 6 total.
We've always got along great, which sounds stupid but some married couples enjoy having it out from time to time lol.
Fortunately we had planned for emergency and had enough back up to last us 6 months of no income. Wife was only out about a month and I was off for 4.
I qualified for unemployment so we were in no real danger. Plus we don't have kids or a house yet. We basically sat around lol. But hey, we worked hard for the emergency fund so that things like this hurt as little as possible.
We watched a lot of clone wars, went for walks, cooked together, slept in together and enjoyed silence together. It was nice. Now we are both working again and it's a hustle to get everything done so we can chill.
The speed of life can really slow down a relationship. It was much better when we could just be filthy casuals. I love her more than ever. It was a snapshot of retirement almost. I think I chose the right gal.
"Find Himself"
boats GIFGiphy21 years of marriage down the drain because he suddenly decided he needed to "find himself."
"Himself" apparently lives on a boat and pays ridiculous amounts of money to 19 year old girls for nudes. Meanwhile I'm figuring out who I am now that my life isn't consumed with taking care of him and my now grown children.
I got a job, a car and now we get to fight over the junk we own.
Pretty Much The Same
Hasn't changed all that much.
Husband and I are homebodies by nature. We are simple people, though we did have plans to travel within the state this year.
The only other thing that sucks for us is the obvious pandemic and how we can't go to the movie theaters or restaurants.
Our date nights are trips to get food.
Oh hello me. It seems there are couples who have been brought closer, couples or have found their moment for exit, and couple who didn't really feel impacted. It seems the less impacted is less common but I'm very glad to fall into this category!
Come Closer; That's Too Close
We didn't see each other for a few months, which led to us appreciating each other more.
Then when restrictions lifted, I moved in with him. We certainly learned a lot more about each other - one of those lessons being that we both need time away from each other sometimes.
Being stuck in quarantine together was tough and led to arguments
A Weird One
I have a weird one.
My husband and I divorced in 2019. It was a ridiculous overreaction to a single fight. (We married young, and are still pretty dumb). Since our relationship was otherwise pretty solid, we kinda naturally fell back into a friendship with each other after the divorce and kept in touch. We had cats together that I got custody of and we'd regularly chat about them, for example.
We found ourselves in different states, both living with our respective parents and both going to grad school (mostly) virtually this past year. I lost my job and his job has been WFH almost all year. Quarantine was very, very lonely for us. Neither of us are very social, so no longer having work or school in person eliminated our social outlets.
We used to have each other to stay at home with and be antisocial. Going through a forced period of isolation like quarantine made us realize what we had lost by splitting up. We slowly found each other again, from hundreds of miles apart.
I never stopped loving my husband, he is one of the greatest people I know. I was happy to still get to be in his life, even just barely. But this past year we got to grow back together as slightly wiser people with straighter priorities. I don't know if we could have done that if we'd been able to keep distracted with heavy school and work schedules. If we didn't both feel the need to protect each other and be with one another when a terrifying once-in-a-lifetime event like a pandemic began, I don't think either of our dumb asses would have realized what we had given up.
- deladude
It's Not A Hoax
In the beginning good, more recently more strained.
I'm a nurse and in the beginning when their was a lot of fear I felt like we were on the same page working together to help your children and family get through these stressful times. His family are a bunch of Covid hoax believers who all contracted Covid so now my husband leans more that way- not thinking things are a big deal.
I'll come home from work and be like:
"Yeah ... we had 3 deaths before 0730 today, you acting like this isn't a big deal is a big slap in the face."
I should also point out we have VERY different political affiliations which has made things even more tense.
- bsn2fnp1
Water cooler love
We've actually gotten closer I think, been remote working for the last 9 months and before that we almost never saw each other. I'd come home too tired to do anything useful and just sit at my PC all evening mentally drained. Now during my breaks I can help her around the house giving us both more free time on my days off and spend a bit more time with her.
Devolved
Not necessarily long-term but just over a year with gf, dont live together she works and i don't have job atm
Firstly we communicate by text and haven't spoke more than a couple of sentences since mid-October. The conversations now have devolved to one message at 10pm when she's back from work and that's it.
Also, our anniversary was in November and despite going on about how it's important, she completely forgot despite me trying to hint at it.
Usually the only times we'd get to see each other would be once a week meeting in town and I usually let her let me know when she's available because of her work.
But we haven't met up since at least the beginning of October and she hasn't made an effort to since, even considering my birthday was this month
Like its not just the coronavirus she was happy to go shopping on the other side of the country
Scratch the itch
We feel stagnant. Like we don't do anything. Because, well, we don't. We haven't been going out to eat. We haven't been traveling. All our usual date ideas are no good anymore.
We've been trying a new recipe every week which has been helping scratch the itch for new experiences, but it's still just a slog.
But I love her and we're still going strong.
No exit
I am genuinely tired of spending all that time with my husband. I would love to have the house to myself for a month. We both work from home and live in a cold city. There's not much escape! I love him to death but I wish he would leave the house for only a month!!!
Hug-o-war
He moved in with me a month ago. We've mostly settled but still figuring some minor dynamics of living together. We've been together nearly nine years, but only just moved in together recently due to attending grad school in different cities.
When he moved in, I was mainly relieved that I had someone I could actually hug.
Years behind
Not much has changed. We don't meet up to grab a beer after work together anymore, I just wait for him to come home and then greet him at the door like one of our dogs lol. We play more board games and he gets more home-cooked breakfasts in the morning now that I don't have to commute to the office. It's kinda great, but we were great before quarantine too.
It just occurred to me that it's probably going perfectly because for the first 5 years of our relationship, we barely saw each other. He worked weekends and nights and I worked a normal 9 to 5 so even living together, I'd wake up for work while he slept and I'd get home from work when he'd already left to his. When he'd get home, I'd be asleep and we only saw each other conscious on weekends. So I'm still years behind on getting my fill of this guy!
Bored together
We've gotten very comfortable being bored together. We are grateful that we're in positions to be bored, when so many people are in such distress. We've learned that we can tolerate having nothing to do, and that we don't need to "solve" that with outings and errands and gatherings. We don't need to be "on" for each other and we don't feel pressure to constantly entertain each other. So I guess our gratitude has really grown and our acceptance of each other has too.
Whether we like it or not, the fact that each and every one of us will expire one day and go off into whatever the next phase of existence is is a harsh reality.
So we might as well make the most of the time we have while we're here and leave our mark.
What kind of legacy would you want to leave for the succeeding generations?
Curious to hear from strangers online about how they want to be remembered posthumously, Redditor D_And_R_Gaming asked:
"What do you want written on your tombstone?"
There is still humor in death.
Misunderstanding
"I asked to be cremated what the hell"
–Aksjer
"I was going to say 'Bacon Cheeseburger' but then realized that’s Jack’s, not Tombstone."
– ImAF'kinLiar
Life Is A Crapshoot
"I've made many dumb decisions in my life, and only one of them got me killed."
– kinda_fruity_ngl
"Russian roulette without the roulette."
– Aquahert
People got creative.
Keeping Score
"A Steam review of Life:"
"309,936 hours played 'It's OK.' 👎 Does NOT Recommend "
<em>– Anti</em><span></span><em>Theory</em>
-Reddit
Old School
"(My Name)"
"1964 - 2137"
– TrailerParkPrepper
"My spidey senses tell me you are from Poland."
– itstoolatebro
Careful What You Wish For
"Slightly off topic….but I saw a picture of a headstone once that had a cookie recipe on the back of it. The poster said that while grandma was alive, they’d ask her for her famous cookie recipe and she’d say, 'over my dead body'. So, when she died, they found the recipe and put it where she always said - over her dead body."
"I don’t care if it’s true or not; that’s savage and I’m here for it!"
– Fluffy_Momma_C
There seems to be no limit to what you can have on your epitaph.
We Have Options
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[X] Save & Quit"
– theyusedthelamppost
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[ ] Save & Quit
[X] Quit
I don't have to be saved"– Mor_Hjordis
Spirit Rises
"My body lies but still I roam."
– twistedsister78
"Roamer, Wanderer, Nomad, Vagabond, Call me what you will"
– cooperkfb8
Message To Mortals
"GET OFF MY DAMN GRAVE!!"
– LucyVialli
"In really small writing... 'you're standing on my balls'"
– reiveroftheborder
Only The Strong Survive
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
– parataxis
"Evidently you didn't get stronger."
– 69420memes
How Bewitching
"A short melody in sheet music carved into the stone that causes bad weather and time travel paradoxes when repeated."
– MrLuxarina
A Lasting Impression
"I dunno but when I was a kid I came across the tombstone of a world war 2 vet. And on the tombstone was his picture. He has very long canine teethe like a vampire, on the stone was a poem that read"
“'Beware kind friend as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare for death and follow me.' It’s just something I’ve never forgotten."
– Ok-Hovercraft2713
I remember being amused as a kid waiting in line to ride Disneyland's iconic Haunted Mansion attraction.
Up on a hillside adjacent to the Antebellum-style manse were a series of headstones with darkly humorous epitaphs.
One that particularly drew my attention was one that read:
"Here lies good old Fred. A great big rock fell on his head. R.I.P."
At the time, I really did think gravestones explained how the deceased perished, and that this one was intentionally funny.
Can you imagine?
People Confess Which Articles Of Clothing And Accessories Make Someone Instantly Unattractive
Legendary fashion designer Coco Chanel once famously quipped, "before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory."
Indeed, sometimes it is truly remarkable how one item, be it a wrap, a hat or a brooch, can ruin the whole effect of an outfit.
In some extreme cases, it might also result in making someone's physical appearance seem worse than it is, by inadvertently emphasizing one of their less flattering features.
Then too, there are various accessories or types of clothing which simply never look good on anyone, under any circumstances.
"What is a piece of clothing or an accessory that makes a person immediately unattractive?"
In Case You Needed Reminding...
"Any shirt that has a long statement about how the person wants to be viewed."
"'I'M A BEER DRINKING, HARD WORKING, GUN OWNING REAL MAN WHO EATS MEAT AND NEVER MAKES EXCUSES OR TAKES SHORTCUTS IN LIFE'."
"'IF YOU'RE TRIGGERED, TAKE A NUMBER. I'LL GET TO YOU IN ABOUT A YEAR'."- Delica
"I'll bet Gas Station Kino shirts, with the angry flaming skeletons pointing two guns at you, declaring I'M A FORKLIFT OPERATOR WE WORK HARD AND WE PLAY HARD."- MontrealChickenSpice
"Any of that aggressive STOMP MY FLAG ILL STOMP YOUR A** sh*t."
"Makes me feel like they’re just stupid and angry, a dangerous combination."- neermif
bart simpson episode 22 GIFGiphyA Sight No One Needs To See
"Pants worn below buttocks."- anonnautilus
"Pants that are their size they just don't hold them up with a belt and show their whole underwear, or shrugs."- Jaceie
Million Dollar Smiles Shouldn't Be Taken Literally...
"Teeth Grills"
"They look f*ckin ridiculous."- DavosLostFingers
old lady smile GIFGiphyCan They Even See Through Them?
"Eyelashes that are too obviously fake."- LawInevitable2213
No One Really Wants To Be Compared To A Vegetable...
"The thing I find most disgusting currently is the broccoli haircut."
"Looks so bad."- Guilty-Ad-2762
Well Worn, But Not In A Good Way...
"Those God-awful jeans dudes wear with the random ribbed patches on the thighs."
"You know the ones."
"ABOLISH THEM!"- muffinbaby000
No Matter The Interpreter...
"Anything with the joker on it."
"Double that if there is an edgy quote on it as well."- Maleficent-Elk-3298
Bigger Is Not Always Better...
"Giant, long fake fingernails."
"And dinner plates in the earlobes."- sam_the_beagle
"I Am A Material Girl"...
"I'm not a fan of clout-chasing branded clothing."
"It screams materialistic consumerism and that is not cute to me."- coddiwomplecactus
Dude, Where's The Boat?
"The preppy frat man/boy style."
"Salmon shorts, a pastel vineyard vines button-down, and Sperry’s."
"Sorry but it makes some people look like overgrown toddlers at Easter mass."- Mirrorflute88
Unless You're Diana Ross, Maybe...
"Anything with the word Supreme on it."- ILLogicaL_FALLacies
It Must Complicate Eating...
"The older I get, the sillier tongue piercings seem to me."- deltree3030
Sexy Temptation Island GIF by RTLGiphyNeedless to say, one's taste in clothing is a personal decision.
But as the saying goes, true beauty comes from within, and those who make a determined effort to improve their appearance, often end up doing just the opposite.
I've embraced the single life.
It's been a decade, so I really had no other choice.
And I can tell you there are plenty of pros to the situation.
When we're single, it seems like we're addicted to focusing on the cons.
But if you start by appreciating yourself more, the pros list grows.
Not watching rom-coms is a big one for me.
And, of course, having a plethora of pins and voodoo dolls of your loved ones and their partners.
I kid. A little.
Redditor thunderchild10 wanted everyone to count all the ways not having a life partner is great, so they asked:
"What's the best thing about being single?"
Money!
That's my favorite part.
I just spend it on me!
Peace Out
Sneaking Out Betty Cooper GIF by Lili ReinhartGiphy"You can leave family functions on your own terms."
bruteski226
"I’m a huge advocate of the Irish exit. Why do you need to say goodbye to everyone if you know you’re going to see them again in a few days."
Aeokikit
No Food Sharing
"I can eat whatever I want for dinner. I don't have to consider anyone else's opinions. I can plan out whatever I want."
lady_laughs_too_much
"Legit one of my concerns. I have what I call a peasant’s palate… I like simple meals, and I will easily eat the same thing over and over again. I made a chicken and broccoli casserole thing on the weekend and ate that for four days in a row. Sometimes I have chips for dinner. I’m happy with my weird menu, and I’m not looking forward to accommodating someone else."
ReadySetTurtle
Ah, yes... silence
"Peace and quiet."
Earnastus
"This is the big one for me. I spend all day listening to people talk, often distressed. So it's nice to come home to quiet. No more talk. Just the ambient sound of my local neighborhood, markedly muffled by double-glazed windows and soundproofed walls."
"The occasional quiet grunt from my dog. The quiet whirl of the refrigerator motor. My own thought as to why it's spelled refrigerator, but when we shorten it, we put a d in there, and make it fridge. The sound of me typing these thoughts on the keyboard in front of me. The quiet eeeeeeeeeeeee of my tinnitus backed all of it. Ah, yes... silence."
OzzieBloke777
So much space...
"Of all the perks I think the best one has to be getting the bed all to myself."
Salsa1212
"My partner and I sleep in different beds and I would 100% recommend if you have the space. Started out when we were working different shifts, stayed because we both had AMAZING sleeps."
TheFalseLion
"Can confirm. Haven't had the bed to myself in 7 years. Have upgraded to sharing with the partner AND toddler now. King-sized bed never seemed so small."
Friendly_Grocery2890
Everything!
Happy Well Done GIF by Top TalentGiphy"Loads of things. Mostly around being able to act exclusively for your own betterment without having to consider anyone else."
monkeybawz
The list just gets longer and better.
Just Me
free freedom GIFGiphy"That you can do whatever TF you want without having to answer to anyone."
CapG_13
Anxiety Free
"Not living in fear that my relationship will fall apart."
"God bless anyone who is going through this. It sucks really hard when you try to make things work but you just don't get enough assurance from your partner."
MaybeNot_MaybeYes
"After a few years of marriage, I actively did everything to make my relationship with my ex fall apart. Granted he was abusive and I was terrified that he would kill me for asking for a divorce because he frequently told me that he would, so I just made his life as uncomfortable as possible until he was the one who asked for a divorce."
TwirlyShirley8
Calm Entrance
"Knowing exactly what to expect when you come home and open the front door."
P4S5B60
"Holy s**t, this resonates. I'm recently divorced and I can't explain how much anxiety I had when coming home and opening the door. The even keel of the emotional landscape now is pure bliss."
boltershmoo
"Saaaaame. That moment I would hear the garage door open when my former partner was getting home: most anxiety-inducing moment/sound. I would go into panic mode: hell did I clean enough/do enough/be productive enough so that I don’t catch some shi**y attitude from the partner."
kusava-kink
Focus
"Not being a slave to someone else’s emotional state."
90sTVGuru
"Deada**, this is the first time I’ve been able to focus on my emotional state in forever! My mental health has never been better. And I was even able to wean completely off of SSRIs. My ex was quite literally one of the biggest triggers of my anxiety and depression."
jets3tter094
"As someone who is recently single, this is a big one. Sometimes I felt like my partner's emotional state was too chaotic for me and I was a sponge to it. Not being a slave to it anymore has made my anxiety calm down a lot."
chubberbubbers
You First
Look At Me Reaction GIF by WWEGiphy"You get to put yourself first. Take care of yourself. You're your own biggest fan, and the only one you've got. 100% learn to love yourself."
happier_days
Well sounds like some of us should embrace being alone.
Apparently, it ain't all that bad.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Too many of us were told to grow up or that it would be wrong to continue to enjoy the things that made our childhoods worth remembering.
But now as adults, some have figured out that there's nothing wrong with enjoying a nice bowl of sugary cereal while watching those Saturday morning cartoons. Quite frankly, it feeds the soul.
Redditor iStoleurvalor asked:
"What is 'for kids' that you continue to thoroughly enjoy as an adult?"
Outdoor Playtime
"Playgrounds in general. Since becoming a dad, I can bring my kids to the playground and have fun with them on the slides, swings, monkey bars; most things."
"I wish there were public/free adult-sized playgrounds. It'd probably encourage us to get out a lot more. It feels like everything geared for adults nowadays charges admission, and it's not cheap."
- densetsu23
The All-Fours Climb
"Going up the stairs on all fours will always be fun."
- Curious-Kaylee
"I’m a huge advocate for climbing stairs on all fours, but I’m now imagining how horrifying it would be to see that in a public setting, lol (laughing out loud)."
- metallic_buttcheeks
"'LOOK OUT, KIDS! SHE'S COMING!'"
"*kids screaming*"
- KeepCalmSayRightOn
"I need to try this. But the only steps I regularly take are at work, lol (laughing out loud)."
- tittilizing
"I race up the stairs at work on all fours to assert dominance."
- JoshPlaysUltimate
Animated Movies as an Art Form
"Animated movies in general. I can still enjoy them. When I've had a rough day or if I'm just feeling down, I can put on something wholesome, funny, or nostalgic and it makes me feel better."
- catching_signals
"'Emperor's New Groove' is my favorite feel-good movie."
- Compulsive-Gremlin
Sticker Collections
"STICKERSSSSS."
- ObviouslyKatie
"F**K YES."
"Never enough stickers. I had a s**tty childhood (like most of us) but stickers always made me happy, especially the fuzzy ones. Suddenly understanding why I'm still bonkers for stickers."
- limeporcupine
Gotta Catch 'Em All
"Pokemon. Started with Red when I was five and haven't stopped since. Doubt I ever will. If anything, my enjoyment of Pokemon is becoming more childlike."
- The_Prezzy
In Cracker Form
"Goldfish. It's hard to resist when my niece is having them for a snack. I make a big show about me being a shark and eating them just so I can have some."
- Drew-
"I really thought you meant actual fish at first..."
Travelerofhighland86
"Fish are friends, not food."
- Phoneking13
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
"Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Of course, it isn't solely for kids, as he made each episode with a mind towards parents watching them with their children, but he's so wholesome and kind, so deliberate and thoughtful with everything that he put on the show."
- Puddnhead_Wilson
"I’d never watched it before and my husband wanted to watch the Tom Hanks movie. But he wanted me to see the real Mister Rogers first. So there we sat, two adults over 30, watching episodes of Mister Rogers. And I loved it!"
- Ankylowright
Favorite Stuffies
"I remember a Reddit post from several years ago where this guy who was in the army or Marines or whatever gushed about his plush Magicarp. He even sent a picture of the Magicarp next to an automatic rifle."
- Mind101
"I'm almost 40 and not ashamed to say I still have my teddy bear, Wally, my mom made when I was two. His arms are lopsided, his ears are wonky, and he is made from upholstery fabric from a 70s couch cushion, but I love that dude."
"I did eight years in two branches of the Marines and Army and did three deployments, and you bet Wally was with me. Either stuffed in a pack or seabag, but he was there because I needed him."
- Jaymakk13
Gotta Love Disney
"Disney animated movies."
"I am a big, mean-looking 40-year-old man. I drove to work listening to the soundtrack to 'Moana.'"
- mkicon
"Second big, mean-looking 40-year-old man here. I may or may not have sobbed on my way to work while kind of singing the soundtrack to 'Encanto' this morning through my tears."
"I'm with you, bro."
- SHABDICE
Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea?
"Not me, but my 55-year-old dad still loves SpongeBob. He'll wake up on a Saturday morning and have his juice and breakfast while watching Spongebob."
- Hwetapple
"Dude, same. Almost every time I go over there, he's always watching SpongeBob. He recently found out he gets Boomerang on his Roku, so he's just been watching 'Tom & Jerry' and 'Loony Toons.'"
"I also love those cartoons so I'm definitely not talking s**t."
- Theren_Alister_XIII
Chocolate Milk, For Sure
"Chocolate Milk."
- Toy_Guy_in_MO
"Who says chocolate milk is only for kids?"
- transformers03
"Ice cold chocolate milk is amazing."
- SigridBaginnses
Skipping Down the Sidewalk
"Skipping. If you haven't skipped in a while, do it. You'll realize how much faster it is than walking, and how much more ground you cover."
- trx0x
Coloring
"Coloring."
"Not with craft paper and high-end pencils adult coloring, either."
"Nope. With a 'Moana' coloring book and the 64-count Crayola box."
- TheSquishyPaleDuke
They'll Never Go Out of Style
"I cannot stop making summer camp-style knotted friendship bracelets out of embroidery floss."
"It keeps my hands busy while I'm working/watching TV/traveling and I don't get sucked into my phone."
"Now I just leave piles of bracelets everywhere."
- andtheIToldYouSos
Breakfast of Champions
"Breakfast cereals... all of the fruity, sugar-filled candy-like cereals. It is totally my weekend treat. Nothing during the week."
"Fruity pebbles (Dino bites now. Post changed the recipe a while back) is totally my jam. Who doesn't like destroying the roof of their mouth on some Cap'n crunch?"
- hammerraptor
These are great reminders of some of the good things we had in our childhood, but it's an even more important lesson that there's no harm in doing something for our inner child every once in a while, maybe even every day.