They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but does that mean extended periods of time in close confinement make the heart grow a little ... stabby?
If so, the pandemic and needed quarantine probably had some interesting affects on relationships.
One Reddit user asked:
"Redditors in long-term relationships, how has quarantine affected your relationship?"
... "interesting" was the appropriate word choice.
So Much Closer
It's brought my wife and I a lot closer. I work 2.5 hours from home, 10 hour days (plus 6-8 hours overtime twice a week), 4 days a week. So I usually leave on Monday night and get home Friday night.
I've been home every night since November 18th, so getting to put my 1 year old daughter to bed every night, get up with her every morning, and spending all day with her and my pregnant wife (which allows my wife a nap every single day) has made this the best month of my life, even with me doing almost all of the household chores. According to my wife, it's made the last month as close to Heaven as a pregnant woman can get.
couple hug GIFGiphyRock Bottom
We hit rock bottom not long ago. We talked and we're working on things now. It's been tough. We live together and it's almost impossible to have some alone time. This has been one of my main problems.
I miss missing my boyfriend, you know? Spending every minute together is great, but up to a certain point
For me it's important to have my own life. You know, leave the house for work, meet up with other people. Without that I get depressed and the more time we spend together, the less excited I get about being a couple basically.
I don't like this routine. We've been together for 5 years and lived together for 4.
It's always been fine, but being forced to stay at home is a completely different story
I Hope It's The Apocalypse
Me and my girlfriend were living together for a year before lockdown, so we ended up being with each other during lockdown. It has been brilliant, we've just grown closer together and now believe we can get through anything! Next test is the apocalypse I guess.
At least I hope it's the apocalypse and not kids lol.
Call It A Day
We decided to call it a day and I moved out.
We had been seeing each other off and on, 8 years. Had been going strong for about 3 years though. We didn't realize how little we had in common until quarantine.
A Snapshot Of Retirement
Closest my wife and I have ever been. We've been married for 2 years and together for 6 total.
We've always got along great, which sounds stupid but some married couples enjoy having it out from time to time lol.
Fortunately we had planned for emergency and had enough back up to last us 6 months of no income. Wife was only out about a month and I was off for 4.
I qualified for unemployment so we were in no real danger. Plus we don't have kids or a house yet. We basically sat around lol. But hey, we worked hard for the emergency fund so that things like this hurt as little as possible.
We watched a lot of clone wars, went for walks, cooked together, slept in together and enjoyed silence together. It was nice. Now we are both working again and it's a hustle to get everything done so we can chill.
The speed of life can really slow down a relationship. It was much better when we could just be filthy casuals. I love her more than ever. It was a snapshot of retirement almost. I think I chose the right gal.
"Find Himself"
21 years of marriage down the drain because he suddenly decided he needed to "find himself."
"Himself" apparently lives on a boat and pays ridiculous amounts of money to 19 year old girls for nudes. Meanwhile I'm figuring out who I am now that my life isn't consumed with taking care of him and my now grown children.
I got a job, a car and now we get to fight over the junk we own.
boats GIFGiphyPretty Much The Same
Hasn't changed all that much.
Husband and I are homebodies by nature. We are simple people, though we did have plans to travel within the state this year.
The only other thing that sucks for us is the obvious pandemic and how we can't go to the movie theaters or restaurants.
Our date nights are trips to get food.
Oh hello me. It seems there are couples who have been brought closer, couples or have found their moment for exit, and couple who didn't really feel impacted. It seems the less impacted is less common but I'm very glad to fall into this category!
Come Closer; That's Too Close
We didn't see each other for a few months, which led to us appreciating each other more.
Then when restrictions lifted, I moved in with him. We certainly learned a lot more about each other - one of those lessons being that we both need time away from each other sometimes.
Being stuck in quarantine together was tough and led to arguments
A Weird One
I have a weird one.
My husband and I divorced in 2019. It was a ridiculous overreaction to a single fight. (We married young, and are still pretty dumb). Since our relationship was otherwise pretty solid, we kinda naturally fell back into a friendship with each other after the divorce and kept in touch. We had cats together that I got custody of and we'd regularly chat about them, for example.
We found ourselves in different states, both living with our respective parents and both going to grad school (mostly) virtually this past year. I lost my job and his job has been WFH almost all year. Quarantine was very, very lonely for us. Neither of us are very social, so no longer having work or school in person eliminated our social outlets.
We used to have each other to stay at home with and be antisocial. Going through a forced period of isolation like quarantine made us realize what we had lost by splitting up. We slowly found each other again, from hundreds of miles apart.
I never stopped loving my husband, he is one of the greatest people I know. I was happy to still get to be in his life, even just barely. But this past year we got to grow back together as slightly wiser people with straighter priorities. I don't know if we could have done that if we'd been able to keep distracted with heavy school and work schedules. If we didn't both feel the need to protect each other and be with one another when a terrifying once-in-a-lifetime event like a pandemic began, I don't think either of our dumb asses would have realized what we had given up.
- deladude
It's Not A Hoax
In the beginning good, more recently more strained.
I'm a nurse and in the beginning when their was a lot of fear I felt like we were on the same page working together to help your children and family get through these stressful times. His family are a bunch of Covid hoax believers who all contracted Covid so now my husband leans more that way- not thinking things are a big deal.
I'll come home from work and be like:
"Yeah ... we had 3 deaths before 0730 today, you acting like this isn't a big deal is a big slap in the face."
I should also point out we have VERY different political affiliations which has made things even more tense.
- bsn2fnp1
Water cooler love
We've actually gotten closer I think, been remote working for the last 9 months and before that we almost never saw each other. I'd come home too tired to do anything useful and just sit at my PC all evening mentally drained. Now during my breaks I can help her around the house giving us both more free time on my days off and spend a bit more time with her.
Devolved
Not necessarily long-term but just over a year with gf, dont live together she works and i don't have job atm
Firstly we communicate by text and haven't spoke more than a couple of sentences since mid-October. The conversations now have devolved to one message at 10pm when she's back from work and that's it.
Also, our anniversary was in November and despite going on about how it's important, she completely forgot despite me trying to hint at it.
Usually the only times we'd get to see each other would be once a week meeting in town and I usually let her let me know when she's available because of her work.
But we haven't met up since at least the beginning of October and she hasn't made an effort to since, even considering my birthday was this month
Like its not just the coronavirus she was happy to go shopping on the other side of the country
Scratch the itch
We feel stagnant. Like we don't do anything. Because, well, we don't. We haven't been going out to eat. We haven't been traveling. All our usual date ideas are no good anymore.
We've been trying a new recipe every week which has been helping scratch the itch for new experiences, but it's still just a slog.
But I love her and we're still going strong.
No exit
I am genuinely tired of spending all that time with my husband. I would love to have the house to myself for a month. We both work from home and live in a cold city. There's not much escape! I love him to death but I wish he would leave the house for only a month!!!
Hug-o-war
He moved in with me a month ago. We've mostly settled but still figuring some minor dynamics of living together. We've been together nearly nine years, but only just moved in together recently due to attending grad school in different cities.
When he moved in, I was mainly relieved that I had someone I could actually hug.
Years behind
Not much has changed. We don't meet up to grab a beer after work together anymore, I just wait for him to come home and then greet him at the door like one of our dogs lol. We play more board games and he gets more home-cooked breakfasts in the morning now that I don't have to commute to the office. It's kinda great, but we were great before quarantine too.
It just occurred to me that it's probably going perfectly because for the first 5 years of our relationship, we barely saw each other. He worked weekends and nights and I worked a normal 9 to 5 so even living together, I'd wake up for work while he slept and I'd get home from work when he'd already left to his. When he'd get home, I'd be asleep and we only saw each other conscious on weekends. So I'm still years behind on getting my fill of this guy!
Bored together
We've gotten very comfortable being bored together. We are grateful that we're in positions to be bored, when so many people are in such distress. We've learned that we can tolerate having nothing to do, and that we don't need to "solve" that with outings and errands and gatherings. We don't need to be "on" for each other and we don't feel pressure to constantly entertain each other. So I guess our gratitude has really grown and our acceptance of each other has too.
How did the pandemic affect your relationships?
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.