Marriage takes WORK. If both parties aren't willing to put in the effort things get bad pretty fast. The fairytale lie we've been fed of happily ever after has made it difficult for people to grasp what real long-term relationships look like. News flash: it gets messy!
When Redditor CrisP_bacon asked the question “Long term (10+ years) married couples of reddit, Whats was the worst low you've had and why didnt you leave?" the online marriage veterans were glad to share their struggles, and their triumphs.
“I left the Mormon church.”
“I left the Mormon church.”
“For Mormons that frequently means divorce. Temple marriage and the priesthood are a big deal and she assumed that if I was leaving the church it meant I was leaving her too. It was incredibly stressful.”
“I had been pretending to believe since we got married and I figured finally telling her all my feelings would actually make her leave me, after all, no more eternal marriage, broken covenants, "inactive" father to our children, how would she be treated by neighbors/family/other members, etc.”
“I was working two poor jobs at the time and in college. We were barely scraping by even with a good deal on our rent, I was always stressed, and often gone. Our families weren't supportive about my decision. Our neighbors judged. My wife was judged and pitied on every Sunday she went alone.”
“I didn't leave her and I never planned to. She didn't leave me. My wife respected my choices, supported me, and ultimately she ended up leaving too, a few years ago now. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life due to the church and leaving it was the best thing I ever did for myself.”
“It will be fourteen years married and sixteen years together this year. We're happy, we're doing well, and our children are thriving.” victorioushack
translate joseph smith GIF by South Park GiphyThey came out as a conspiracy nut, yikes!
“This week. Finding out my wife of 22 years is an anti vaxxer. Her family is religious and there has always been quirks, but she has gone down a full nutcase rabbit hole, fueled by her idiot mother.”
“Sounds like just one thing, but I'm having a hard time imagining getting over it. We've got kids and she's choosing conspiracies over protecting herself for their sake.”
“Edit - why didn't I leave? This is happening in real time. We've got 3 lovely kids and a pretty good thing going. I hope it doesn't end here.”
“Edit - there were clues in the past but I didn't know (not sure she did either) that she was an anti-science, anti-vaxxer until recently. She and her mom share false YouTube videos of "evidence" and wind each other up.” notmyrealnam3
Burnie Burns Conspiracy GIF by Rooster TeethGiphy“I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**.”
“My wife and I were going through a real funk. We were stressed out, and not getting along very well. Money was a big issue. Things were down to almost nothing in the bedroom. I was just sick of the relationship.”
“And then out of the f*cking blue an old high school crush PMs me on Facebook. We get chatting... we start getting really flirty... a week goes by, and we're talking dirty and planning to meet.”
“On the day we were supposed to hook up - literally hours before our rendezvous- Unsteady by X Ambassadors comes into the radio and I suddenly can't stop thinking about the kids, and how I grew up with no dad in the picture.”
“I felt so stupid and selfish. I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**. I called it off, went home and asked my wife to sit down. I told her everything.”
“She was upset of course, but we began talking about our problems and they got a lot better. Now we're doing amazing, and I'm so glad I didn't f*ck up. Every time I hear that song I'm reminded of it.” Kajiit_hairball
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Poverty is a huge stressor...
“21 years this July. I think it's a mix of good times and bad times. Honestly, the worst moments have been when money's been scarce. That brings he worst out of people. We actually separated once about 9 years ago, we were arguing non-stop and my wife ended up feeling trapped and decided to move out with our youngest.”
“We got over it by working on ourselves and rekindling our relationship, took several months to fix it. On my side, sometimes I too feel trapped for some reasons, like pulling too much weight at home, being the one taking care of more stuff than her, but in the end it's just stupid things.”
“If I left I don't think I'd ever get what I have now. A marriage is not roses always, it takes a lot of effort, compromising, respect, and communication. And lots of sex, not joking.”demoniodoj0
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet...”
“We're coming up on 10 years and have had only a handful of arguments and verbal fights throughout our marriage, but the most prominent one happened right after he pinned on captain rank (O-3) in the Air Force.”
“When he was an O-1 and O-2, he had been sh!t on quite a bit by higher-ranked officers in his unit, so he himself began to adopt that power-trip attitude as soon as he was promoted. I personally despise that kind of ego especially in a partner, and the more I witnessed him treating other people rudely for no reason, the angrier I got.”
“It came to a head when we were at one of the casinos in Vegas, and he started talking down to and belittling a cashier when she tried to explain why he couldn't cash in his chips at that particular window. I was so appalled and infuriated by his behavior that I snapped right there.”
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet, snarling that he'd better pick them up to pay for a divorce lawyer because I was done with his sh*t. We had never, ever mentioned divorce before, and it was a bit of a taboo word for him because he was still traumatized by his parents' messy divorce right before we'd gotten married.”
“So for me to bark it at him in public, which is so out of character for me because I never like to make a scene, was the wakeup call he needed.”
“He was stunned and speechless. After a few awkward seconds, I muttered an apology to the cashier and headed back to our hotel room upstairs. It took another few minutes for him to follow me after retrieving all his chips, and by then we were both extremely upset with each other.”
“Many furious words were exchanged--he couldn't believe I would even bring up divorce and I couldn't believe he didn't realize what an ahole he had become--which ended in both of us in tears. It took another few hours, but we managed to talk through the issue. He promised to check himself and take a step back to reflect on the influence his workplace had on him.”
“That was six years ago. He is now an O-4 and the one that all the junior service members in his squadron elect to go to when they need advice or someone to confide in about work. He has gone out of his way to mentor several airmen who asked for his help in preparing for various programs and schools.”
“Every time I attend a squadron function, I see how well-liked he is by his colleagues. I'm proud and relieved that he reverted to being his regular kind self. Now whenever he has an ahat commander rotate into his group's chain of command, I quietly point out that that could have been him if he had continued along the path of douchebaggery, and it makes him shudder.” OrifielM
Some people need to mind their business...
“Is 9 close enough? Was about a year in, and I ended up taking off for a hotel for a few nights. Why? Because I had my toxic, abusive parents and their cronies constantly calling me and telling me how awful my wife was.”
“They'd tell me how she was sick in the head and keeping me from them (I'd cut them off) and that she was abusing me. It got in my head and she suggested I take a few days away, without my phone, to calm down.”
“I made it til 4am that night, realized my parents were terrible people and my wife was wonderfully supportive of me. Called her and went home immediately. Been going great ever since.” tempthethrowaway
“I'm ashamed now...”
“Married 24 years now. Fifteen years ago, my depression got bad. Usually it manifests as dark humor and swearing; that time, it was fury, frustration and vicious emotional aggression.”
“My wife put up with it for a year. I remember my then-young son asking, "are you angry again?" with such a sadness that it tore at my heart (and reinforced to me that I was worthless, not helping the depression).”
“I was never physically abusive, but I'm ashamed now at the brutal pleasure I felt when she cried. Finally, finally, I listened to my wife and talked to my doctor. They eventually got my meds right, or anyway close enough that I was back in my right mind.”
“We stayed together because my wife is stronger than you would believe, and she knew that her real husband was hidden under all that cruelty. She kept us together. I've been grateful ever since.I'm blessed beyond anything I could deserve. Nowadays, I think that I treat her as she should be treated, like a treasure.”
“I wrote this in part so that people in a depression can see how very, very dark it can get. I was controlled by it. I was d*mned near possessed by it. If you get taken by depression, think of this and get help way sooner than I did.” Vox_Popsicle
Not the dog!
“11 years married. Worst low was he was being a complete AH (Screaming at 8 y/o) to one of my younger kids and when daughter (18) stood up to him he tried to sell her dog as punishment. Didn't leave him because I recognized a PTSD episode and got him help. I think it's important to recognize why a behavior is happening. “
“This was NOT his normal behavior. He's former police officer and this was when he had to walk away from a career he loved. It was HARD, but he was willing to accept help and has stayed in therapy for 2 years now."Suspicious_Sassafras
Mental health can be serious.
“Been together since high school (in our 40's now). Our lowest time was after our kid was born. The company I worked for was closing down. I was applying for jobs like crazy and he just didn't.”
“We ended up moving in with my parent for about half a year. He got a job and was fired 2 weeks later. I got a job but had to commute 4+hours each day. I did all of the night wakings with our baby.”
“There were times I was sleeping in 45 min chunks and then waking up at 5 am to get to work by 9 am, leaving work, driving home 2-3 hours in bad traffic, dealing with a super clingy baby, eat dinner go to bed, rinse and repeat. I did this for 3 months before we found a place to rent near my job.”
“We moved, he got a job, was fired 6 months later. Got another job, fired. We had to move out of our nice apartment into a crappy 1 bedroom apartment that was falling apart due to finances.”
“All this time I was doing all the daycare pick ups and drop off, working 40+ hours and doing all the baby care. I even did this when he didn't have a job because I didn't want to lose our spot in daycare. He didn't clean, didn't cook, didn't interact with our kid when I was home. He was always in a bad mood. I got medicated and my depression got slightly better.”
Things did get better with some help...
“He got another job, almost got fired, got a slightly better paying job, got fired, was unemployed for a long time, got another job, got fired. I stayed because I had such bad PPD and anxiety that I could only react. After he got fired the last time I was going to get a divorce. I was done. He was then diagnosed with bipolar.”
“It's been a year and a half since the diagnosis. He is now medicated and did therapy. We are in a much better place. He got a job but the pandemic closed his location. He has completed stepped up and changed.”
“He handles all schooling for our child, cooks dinner, cleans. I make enough now that we can get by on one income until the pandemic ends. We are friends again and I now like spending time with him. We are still healing from the years of crap but we are in it for the long haul.” darksideoftheday
An emotional affair.
“l caught my wife in an emotional affair that likely, would have turned physical but I'll never really know. I was going through a weird depression and had been pretty physically and emotionally distant for about a year so it's not exactly shocking that she developed feelings for another person but it still completely crushed my world and my stomach still gets in knots sometimes randomly 2 years later.”
“Any time I've mentioned this on Reddit though I get a bunch of comments telling me I should have left her and she will do it again, and it's just not worth it. For the record, we're doing great now and oddly enough the entire awful experience and very nearly ending our marriage made our marriage stronger and I trust her that she'd never want to hurt me like that again and I'm determined to never make her feel lonely or ever allow that kind of space for another person again.” BigBicNic
“I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“Married almost 14 years. Having babies was not good for our relationship. We had three kids in quick succession. My hormones were out of whack for about five years, and he wasn't great dealing with small kids. There were times when I was counting down the days until I could go back to work and save enough money to leave, and I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“We worked through it. Even on our worst days, even when I wanted out, I just kept thinking how much I'd rather have him in my life than out of it. I don't know why he decided to stay.”
“And even though 2020 was rough financially (he was laid off twice and I wasn't working much), it actually seemed to bring us closer. I'm so glad that we stuck it out. Things are never going to be perfect, but I'm very grateful to have him.“ Bay-Area-Tanners
Sometimes all you can do is cry over a beer.
“Just over the 10 year mark. Our worst period came just after the birth of our daughter. She was born with duplexed kidnies and urethra. That's quite common, but she had the worst of it, and for the first three years of her life was in hospital for at least two years; constant UTIs, countless bouts of sepsis, and few critical care stays, four bouts of major surgery, including serious heart problems caused by that."
“Me and my wife were like chalk and cheese during those years. I had my head buried in the sand and put all my eggs in the doctor basket. My wife had that same faith, but read up on absolutely everything."
“As she was living in hospital with our daughter, I was at home with our son. It was a very odd time, where we were like ships in the night. We were both depressed and struggling to cope. You don't see it at the time, as you just take each day as it comes... But when you stop and look back at what you've been through, it can be overbearing to put it all into context."
"Had many a full on breakdown whilst out with my best friend having a beer during that time. That entire period was a strain on the two of us. I think it's fair to say there were quite long periods where we absolutely hated each other."
"There were points I know she had contacted divorce lawyers, and at least a month where we officially separated. We're over that period now, and whilst my daughter is still on medication, she's not had any serious complications in several years now, so all is good."
"It was one hell of a storm though." hellsmk2
Abusive employers are still all too common.
“Sorry, this got long! But I guess the story of a good relationship is rarely short ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Been together almost 12 years. About 3 years ago we were going through a terrible time. We had just finished college, his parents coerced him into turning down a good job offer in his field to help run their business.”
“They gave him some pretty lofty promises.Instead, his father drove the business into the ground and spent the family into astronomical debt before drinking himself into an early grave. Because he lied on his insurance forms about his health, the family got nothing. Despite his many flaws he'd been more like a father to me instead of a father in law, and it was devastating.”
“I was working absolute garbage, grunt jobs, getting paid minimum wage. I was trying to get a few years experience in my field in order to work my way into a better place, but it just wasn't enough money. I barely made enough to cover my own bills, putting a lot of financial strain on my husband.”
“Eventually I had a mental breakdown and had to completely quit because my job was so abusive I couldn't take it anymore. I went on unemployment, which paid less than I was already making. A lot of other things were going on during this time, but the bottom line was I felt unsupported emotionally, and very bullied by him. He felt that I was not being an equal partner to him, that I was living like a teenager in our home while he was the parent who had to take care of everything.“
“I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy.”
“I wasn't trying to pull my weight because I was severely depressed and hurting. It seemed no one in my life cared about the terrible things that had happened to me at my former work place, and I just felt abused all over again by everyone around me. No one even asked me if I was ok, not even my husband."
“I felt like no one cared about me at all. He didn't care what I was going through because he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, he couldn't take on any more. It took a lot of fights, a lot of listening, swallowing of hard pills and apologies from both of us. Also, healing and growing aren't linear."
“Even after acknowledging our hurts and faults, we both relapsed into our toxic behaviours several times over the past couple of years. Forgiveness isn't linear, either. Sometimes you really have to work at it, and point out to yourself the difference between holding a grudge and seeing a pattern."
"My husband worked his @ss off and not only got the family nearly out of debt in just a few years (we are talking in the hundreds of thousands here), he's got the family business positively blooming. I have done a lot of hard work of my own. I've kept the same job for years now, and I'm going back to school for something more profitable that I will enjoy."
"I've also been working on some side hustles that are going well. We have a beautiful, happy home, and we're both trying every day to be our best selves. Why did we stay together? TBH, from the outside looking in, I probably would have just told myself to leave."
"It wasn't working and there wasn't any sign that it would get better. I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy. Mostly because I felt like I couldn't leave, I'd been here and with him for too long. I hated the idea of him moving on with someone else, it fuelled my toxic feelings which kept me trapped."
"I don't know why he stayed, other than that he loves me and so remained hopeful that we could fix things. I guess we were both just lucky that underneath it all we are reasonable and kind people, so we were able to crawl out of the mess." poisonergranny
When tragedy struck...
“34 years married here. Our lowest point was when our 9 year old son was hit by a car. I went into a deep depression after his death and couldn't cope. It really brought out the worst in both of us. We handled it differently and really struggled to make sense of it all. It was a few really tough years but we stayed together and tried to work through it all.”
“My husband finally recognized my behaviours and lack of interest in anything, including the fact I left my job, as depression and found me professional help. It was a long road, but we made it through and grew closer after. When things go bad, you have to really fight to hold a marriage together, but it's worth it. Don't give up.” cardixa00
Needed some connection.
“16 years coming up soon. The darkest moment was probably the first year of marriage. New city away from her family and friends, stressful job, and I was working during the day and going to school at night for a masters degree.”
“She cried. A lot. But we made it and we have been forever grateful for the time we have together, knowing how awful it was when we couldn't be together.” billionthtimesacharm
GIF by AM to DMGiphy“It was a painful refresher class.”
“F married to M for over 25 years. When my son was 10 he got diagnosed with a brain condition. I became obsessed with taking care of him. Three years later he was diagnosed as stable and it was the first time I felt he wouldn't need surgery.”
“That's when I realized how neglectful I had been to my husband. He was kind. He still loved me. But he thought I didn't love him anymore.”
“We separated for a while, but everytime I brought up divorce he would say no. I wanted him to move back, but he would say to give him time. We didn't talk for about two months. And then he contacted me, begging for my forgiveness. We began to date again, eventually he moved back home.”
“I'm telling the facts, but the emotions were flying high. While apart, we would talk for hours on the phone. We became closer and got to know each other really well again. It was a painful refresher class. I hope we never take each other for granted again.“ aubor
Sometimes it’s the quiet moments.
“We have been married over 20 years and had a lot of stress and times when everything around us went wrong. But the lowest point was a time when there was nothing really wrong in our lives, but we grew apart, and each of us seemed to feel that the other person was the enemy. But we were able to work our way through it because I think we both knew it was the best option for us both.“ Ok_Huckleberry6820
Therapy should not be stigmatized, it helps.
“Married 9 but together 13 so I think this counts. Both of us had sh!tty childhoods and plenty of baggage left over from them -- but not the same exact baggage, so over time you start getting annoyed at the other person for not understanding your crap, because their crap-handling technique is different and you know they don't like how you handle yours."
“We eventually got into a nasty dysfunctional cycle where everyone feels misunderstood and no one feels taken care of, and no one feels safe to be themselves because 'being yourself' apparently sets off the other person, and it's really hard to break out of that when everyone feels angry and no one wants to stuff their feelings about it anymore, and so on."
"We started doing EFT couples work (emotionally focused therapy) during the pandemic -- online therapy is a lot easier to wedge into our schedules than in-person. We are working on hard stuff. I spend most Wednesdays feeling drained. It is 1000% worth the time, money, and effort."
"I was never actually considering leaving because I always knew I could throw the 'that's it, we need to do some actual couples work' card, and that that would probably improve things. I think any couple where the partners come from a tricky background will run into a patch like this and will need to do this kind of work. People like us, our default attachment mode does not lend itself to happiness by default. I am very happy that we are working on this sh*t." withbellson
Relationships take work, dedication, and self reflection from both parties. Hope these couples continue staying safe and in love.
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We all have to come from somewhere, but some of us are more willing to go back to visit our hometowns than others.
In all honesty, it's easier to put the past behind us than to reminisce.
Redditor drax3012 asked:
"What is your town infamous for?"
Segregated Schools
"Being one of the last cities in Texas to desegregate schools (1995). We also have a big bike race."
- Pie_Investor
101 Dalmatians Reference
"Mine has the largest working fire hydrant in Texas, but it is also a gift from the '101st Dalmation' movie being released."
- Inevitable_Cook2294
Rampant Racism
"The town I grew up in was infamous as the town the farthest north with an active KKK chapter. Secondary claims to fame: About 70% Polish immigrants and the fact that the leader of the American Nazi party was the Republican nominee for the house a few years ago."
"Those last two are kind of paradoxical if you think about the irony of Polish immigrants mainly supporting the Nazi party."
- pesky-pretzel
Trending Debt
"Being the first major metropolitan city to go into bankruptcy and receivership."
"Oh, and for a mayor who stole money from the taxpayers, cheated on his wife with strippers, and may have also killed a stripper."
"Oh, and we are also infamous for eight-mile, AKA the street that now has a bunch of weed dispensaries on it."
- BumpyDenny93
Terrible Traffic
"Infamous? It's generally thought of as racist with really bad traffic and hot weather."
"But in reality, it's not that racist, and the weather is OK, but yeah, the traffic is actually even worse than people think."
- Slimetusk
Those Fall Parties
"Oktoberfest... the Canadian version."
- HampsterGriffin
How Tragic
"A big ship that sank on her first go out."
- punkerster101
Myths Born Overnight
"Drunk hillbillies having a gunfight with aliens."
"No, seriously."
"I don't really have an inside scoop. It was 13 years before I was born, and 30 years before I lived here."
"Locally, it seems to be a humorously shameful anecdote. There is a 'festival' every year, but it serves as a showcase for small businesses/gospel singers/politicians/etc from the area."
"Personally, I'm a big fan of all things supernatural and cryptid. And I probably believe more than the average person... but this story."
"Probably horned owls and moonshine."
- darthjenkins
Random Shoes
"Well, not just the place I'm from, but random feet in sneakers washing up on shore. Has been happening for decades now."
"Thought to be a result of people who died in the ocean, their bodies eventually coming apart, and the buoyant sneakers keeping their feet afloat to wash up, but there are of course some much creepier theories."
- Youpunyhumans
Somewhere in the Midwest
"More cows than people."
- sleepyJoesBidet
An Introvert's Nightmare
"The happiest place on earth that packs you in like sardines."
- boopcorgi
An Extrovert's Nightmare
"It's so boring, even introverts are moving away."
- Omasrealaccount
About That...
"We kinda started the Civil War…"
- JDubya_Rx
A Haunting Education
"Our schools(allegedly) were modeled off of prisons in the 1960s, and a lot of ghost stories. So many that a book was made just listing all of them."
- Global_Box_7935
Dark Days
"Largest mass execution in US history."
- universeforinfinity3
Not every town has the darkest history, but it must be rough to have grown up in a town with an infamous past.
At least those who are aware of the history will be less likely to repeat it.
As much as we might think we learned on Career Day in elementary school, there's really no way of knowing all there is to know about a profession until we've worked in it ourselves.
For some professions, like sailing and zookeeping, what happens could feel completely out of this world.
Redditor Myriagon10000 asked:
"Sailors/people working at sea, what's the most creepy or most amazing sight you witnessed?"
Northern Lights
"The northern lights in the middle of nowhere Alaska. We were anchored in a remote cove, so the CO agreed to turn off all the exterior lights. Just a crazy, crazy thing to see."
- Curbside_Hero
"Seeing them is absolutely spectacular."
"Hearing them though was unsettling for me. People have called them 'spirits' for a reason."
- MostSeaworthiness
The Lure of the Deep Blue
"Oftentimes in the Navy, I'd stand on the fantail and watch the ocean."
"Once we had 100s, probably around 400 dolphins riding the carrier's wake. They followed us for three days."
"In the middle of the Pacific, it's so dark, and there's so little light pollution, you can see reds, browns, and faint blues of gas clouds in the starscape."
"Another time, I was watching the water at night. They say it draws you in, and it really does. You look at this pitch-black void, with only the wake or turbulence of the water catching light, and intrusive thoughts of jumping in just naturally occur. It's mesmerizing, especially if you're alone."
"At night during one of these events, I saw blue glowing water (what I now know was bioluminescent algae), and inside this rather massive patch of blue glowing water was squid, that appeared to be maybe 15-20 feet long. You could catch their outline in the light from the water."
"I stared at what were multiple squids passing by for minutes, what seemed like an eternity, and then the light started going away in the spot I was staring. There was still a LOT of glowing water, we weren't headed out of it. But this patch gets darker and darker and darker until pitch black. A solid 15 seconds of intense curiosity. Suddenly a lot of turbulence and a whale surfaces. It had snatched up all the squid."
"The whale cocked to one side and looked at the ship, and our eyes met, I want to think. It studied the ship for a moment until just sinking back down until the glow of the water masked it completely."
- Stehlik-Alit
Flying Fish
"For me, it was the flying fish. I was just sitting there one day near Barbados, watching the water, and all of a sudden, I looked over and there were these 'birds' jumping out of the ocean. Took me a few minutes to actually understand that they were fish jumping out and not birds jumping in. Those things had some range on their glides."
"Later the next day when we went to Barbados, I found out the flying fish was on their currency and a popular dish. Tasted kinda fishy."
- Ivort-DC
Fairy Dust
"I'm not a seafarer, but I was camping on an island in British Columbia beside a cliff that was about a fifteen-foot drop into the ocean. Late at night, I decided to jump in. The water exploded into light!"
"The bioluminescence was triggered by motion, so the movement of my arms and legs as I swam made green trails in the blackness. I called to the other people and we had the trippiest swim ever. It was like being covered in fairy dust."
- TrollsDocumentary
Whale Contact
"I had a humpback look at me from about 15 feet off the side of a small boat off the coast of Massachusetts one time. It was just him and I, and he was absolutely looking at me."
- VXMerlinXV
Surprise Visitor
"Fresh out of college I got a job in Cambridge, Massachusetts as an architect designing whatever. Ended up doing oil rigs and one beautiful morning there were Sharks going under the main platform like always but there were two dead sharks, next morning three new dead, then four the next day."
"Then a steady four or five a day for a week or two... they would float up under the see-through deck that looked much like a metal colander. The crew would have to punch them down so the current could catch them with a large pole."
"What made it really weird was they looked like they had heart attacks or died in their sleep, no marks or bites or anything. The guys on the rig had all kinds of theories. Then one morning while in a room that was completely submerged and had a beautiful view as we sat in a meeting... everyone got to see the reason the sharks were dying like viewing it on a movie screen."
"This Octopus had made itself a home between the base and the deck. A shark was swimming by in a cruising fashion and we see these tentacles grab it right in front of the glass and snap it like a glowstick."
"The Marine Biologist smiled and said, 'Octopus is literally doing that to entertain themselves... like because he can.'"
"The Marine Biologist lowered a dive camera and this Octopus was HUGE."
"The crew would joke about it thereafter, people would smoke on the deck at night and people would say don't let the Octopus in. Seeing those tentacles was just insane for their length and to think about how a shark is mostly muscle and the Octopus would just snap em was kinda scary."
- Cannotakema
Sea Spears
"Giant spears plunging in and out of the sea."
"In the Gulf of Alaska, I have seen some s**t. But one of the most terror-inspiring things I’ve seen are what can happen with some of the loose logs from the logging trade."
"Sometimes when a big log gets loose from a raft, it becomes partially waterlogged and floats small end up. So you have this four-foot diameter telephone pole in the sea, sticking up 40 feet into the air. No biggie. Shows up on the radar, and is easy to spot."
"Now, give that pole 20 years of floating around or so. It rots in such a way that it becomes sharpened to a perfect point by wind and waves, and looks quite menacing."
"Now, put it in a gale with 25-foot waves (50 feet trough to peak)… And it becomes a towering spike of death that shoots up from the sea every 15 to 20 minutes, out of nowhere, 60 feet into the air, only to plunge down into the dark depths waiting to skewer some unsuspecting boat in a few minutes when it thrusts out of the ocean again."
"It is a genuinely terrifying sight, rare, but not so rare that I haven’t seen two in one season. It’s like the spiked d**k of Neptune looking for an opportunity to f**k your s**t up in a particularly terrifying way."
- bidet_enthusiast
Rock the Boat
"I’ve spent a good amount of time at sea on a research vessel, and it’s definitely not for everyone, it takes a special breed of person."
"The ocean is beautiful and enchanting, but also isolating and desolate. And your ship can almost feel like a mobile prison, since you’re basically stuck there with what little space you have, and most ships aren’t built for comfort and leisure like a cruise liner."
"But when the wind kicks up and the waves get tall, motion sickness (or at least some disorientation) is a constant companion that you just have to ride out. No escape except to let the weather pass."
"I’ve been through some larger storms that are very unnerving when your ship is being pounded by swell and tossed like a roller coaster… you just gotta trust that it won’t capsize."
- TrumpetofDeath
The Color of Moonrise
"I was on watch and a lookout reported a ship on fire on the horizon. Looked through my binos and saw what they were looking at. Looked like a plume of flame really far away, just over the line of the horizon."
"I went and consulted the Astro books and discovered that it was actually moonrise. The tip of the crescent was coming up over the astronomical horizon, and was bright red-orange. Still very cool."
"I’ve also seen the Flying Dutchman illusion, dolphins swimming through bioluminescent waters that looked like glowing torpedoes, meteor hits near the ship, lightning hitting the mast, waterspouts in the Caribbean, and the green flash at sunset. Many more things as well, being at sea is just plain trippy!"
- RiotousRagnarok
A Little Crowded
"You know the feeling of being in a full stadium? 10,000's of people all within sight of each other... all together?"
"Multiply that by 100 and maybe that would be like the sea of sea mammals I was in the middle of, presumably on a bunch of food below... squid or something. There were half a dozen species of dolphin and half a dozen species of whales all together going completely crazy busting the surface white, hundreds of thousands, I'm guessing."
"Going into the fo'c'sle of the small 42 ft lobster boat was like entering a different reality. Through the hull, you could 'hear.' They were all 'talking' to one another and I could say you could 'hear' them but it was something else entirely..."
"The bones in my skull and the rest of my body were vibrating at every frequency heard and sub and supersonic alike in alien rhythms and repeating patterns... a once-in-a-lifetime sensation...lasted about half an hour. Highly recommended."
- fishified1
The Rare Moondog
"I once saw a rainbow by moonlight. Sadly this was before digital cameras, so I had no chance of getting a picture."
- Mogster2K
The Good and the Bad
"I used to work on an Atlantic Salmon farm a few miles out to sea. Best job I ever had."
"Creepy:"
"We were round at the second site (other side of the island to the main site, and this one was being left fallow for a couple of years so just required some maintenance every now and then / was used for storage). My brother and I were there late afternoon to check some ropes or moorings or something, I can’t remember, when all of a sudden there was this really strong electrical / copper smell and the place went silent."
"It was flat calm, relatively clear skies so it wasn’t a thunderstorm coming in. For some reason, this smell really freaked us both out, and we both felt like we were being watched by something there was a kind of strange feeling/atmosphere to the place where it just seemed off."
"After a couple of minutes it went away and the 'atmosphere' returned to normal. We were pretty glad to get back to the main site but never experienced anything like that again. Really weird."
"Awesome:"
"This one is hard to describe, but sometimes we would have to pull super long 18-20 hour shifts at harvest time. This involved starting sometimes at 2 AM and working until late in the evening, and there wasn’t actually loads of work the whole time, to do we just needed to be present for a lot of it and lift a cage net once an hour or so. So we mostly just stood around drinking coffee and talking boll**ks."
"Anyway, I digress. We were starting out one of these mornings in the speedboat heading out to the site, on a really crisp winter night. Not a breath of wind, super cloudless sky, and a hint of aurora above us. Speeding along into the night with my buddies in this beautiful scenery, nice fancy survival suits on to keep warm, I remember looking up and seeing a huge sky full of stars, and a shooting star burning across the sky out towards the horizon."
"As I say I can’t really bring it to words, but I’ve never really felt more alive or happy in my work than that night."
- 89ElRay
The Milky Way
"I was a Quartermaster and when I was in the Pacific, I saw a completely clear night one time. I saw the Milky Way split the sky and I could see its reflection in the water. The sight was so beautiful it brought me to tears."
- mourningreaper00
Mountain Views
"The most amazing thing I've seen is watching the mountains in the sunrise while pulling into port in Norway. That was the moment I realized I was actually living. I don't think I'll see anything as majestic until I go back to Norway. Just beautiful!"
- PierceDiLuna
Once-in-a-Lifetime
"Being out at sea was definitely one of the best experiences of being in the Navy. I got to see the northern lights, a meteor shower, and a blood moon. My favorite pass time was identifying the constellations. Eventually, when I got to learn a significant amount, I was able to tell what direction we were going. I’m seriously grateful I got to experience that."
- ChiliConCarne44
These accounts sound nothing short of amazing. While it may not be enough to convince us all to be sailors, we surely could all do with a few more stories about their journeys.
Trailers are misleading on purpose, and if they did their job, you shelled out your hard-earned cash at the box office to go see the movie.
Once you're seated in the auditorium, the succession of previews is over, and the lights dim, the anticipation runs high.
How disappointing then, that a certain element in the film that you dedicated time away from home to go see turns out to be underwhelming.
What is it that indicates you're in for a non-refundable time of entertainment?
Moviegoers online shared their thoughts when Redditor Snoo_19146 asked:
"What’s the first sign that a movie is going to be bad?"
Pandering to the audience with lame humor is such a turn-off.
This Speaks Volumes
"Characters think they are funny because they speak loudly."
– drod3333
Soph-moronic Humor
"Also references to farts or weed. (Not jokes: references.)"
'Hey guys who wants to smoke some weeeeed?'
"Pause for laughter"
– Beingabummer
Premature Review
"It's advertised as one of the best movies of the year."
"And it's late January."
– M-Test24
The Poster Says It All
"There’s someone shrugging whimsically on the poster. 🤷"
– findlestick
Trailers alone can be a red flag.
Cliff's Notes Version
"When the trailer already tells you the entire movie."
– JAR_Melethril
"I've scratched titles off my watch list because I feel I've already seen the important parts of the film through the trailer, why bother?"
– butter00pecan
Recycling One-Liners
"If there are multiple trailers for a comedy movie, but they use the same joke in all of them."
– jelecel865
"And then you sit in the movie or on netflix and you're like. Oh, the joke from the trailer, I think that's where the movie starts to get funny, but it just transitions into the serious end arc and then is over."
– candybomberz
Familiar Jokes From Deadpool
"Something that always bugged me was the first Deadpool movie and it’s trailers. Don’t get me wrong, I love the movie, but here you have a character wearing a mask, played by an actor known for comedy in a movie that probably had a ton of jokes and multiple takes left on the cutting room floor."
"They could have EASILY dubbed different jokes into the trailer and used the final ones in the movie for an extra surprise. But nope, trailer jokes -> movie jokes. Kind of a bummer."
– LegendaryOutlaw
Some movies are destined for failure.
If It Ain't Broke
"It’s a remake of something that didn’t suck."
– Diesel07012012
"I hate that there’s so many remakes of decent/good movies. Feels like it’s just a safe money-grab. It would be cool if movies that didn’t do so hot, get reworked into good movie remakes, but I guess that’s too much of a risk for studios to bother with."
– AnEpicHibiscus
A Very Telling Intro
"An exposition in which one character explains everything that's going on to another character that should already know what is going on."
– rohawe8491
Familiar Setup
'Stacy sweetie, you know I haven’t been the same since your brother disappeared 4 years ago at the creek, & then we moved here to get away from the bad memories but it didn’t change anything & now you’re moving to college & I’ve been finding it hard to accept, & I’m struggling to hold down my job at the diner & that new guy I’m seeing is acting really shady & disappears for days, & completely unrelated to all that there’s mysterious murders happening since he arrived in town. You know all this Stacy..'
"whilst unpacking the shopping in the first scene."
– bluerain80
We Need A Reset
"Doctor: what we have here is a case of transcranial temporal reinforcement. If the patient is not restored to his original nacency the Einstein Bozeman condensate will reseed throughout the multiverse and congeal with unfortold consequences!"
"Other doctor: in English please!"
"Doctor: we need to send him back in time so his brain can restart the universe."
– ActorMonkey
Multiple Cooks
"Not always the case but when there are more than 3 writers a movie tends to lack vision. It can also occur due to rewrites. Not A Bomb Podcast reviews movies that bombed financially or critically and this is a subject often discussed if anyone is interested."
– earball1996
Maybe it's all about the journey.
Trailers do have to entice you with the best parts of a film promising audiences they'll be in for a good time.
However, movies just have to deliver on that promise by not revealing all the best bits in the trailer.
One movie I thought was going to be a succession of cheap one-liners with nothing but action was Disney's animated film Big Hero 6. The trailer was never appealing to me.
But after reading many positive reviews, I decided to give it a chance and I'm so glad I did.
It ended up being a very intelligent, emotionally mature film dealing with grief and an internal struggle about doing the right thing. While those are common tropes, it was all the more impactful watching animated characters dealing with serious themes and issues.
The bottom line is don't be quick to dismiss every movie based on its trailer.
You might be pleasantly surprised.
While every couple shares at least a few common interests which bond them together, they also share as many or more differences.
As the old saying goes, opposites attract, and barring some truly fundamental differences, most people do find themselves falling in love with others in spite of different tastes in music, travel or politics.
Things do become a bit more challenging when it comes to food, however, particularly when a vegan or vegetarian falls in love with a meat lover.
While some people manage to find a way to happily coexist, some vegans and vegetarians can't bear the thought of having meat in their refrigerator, while some meat eaters find themselves gagging at the very thought of eating vegan food.
"Meat lovers would you date a vegan or vegetarian, and vice versa, why/ why not?"
To Each Their Own
"If they don’t force me to go on the same diet as them I would date them."- Daisyline27
Not Remotely An Issue
"Date?"
"I married one."
"I still eat meat but enjoy cooking meals we both can eat."- davidfavel
"I've (36 M[ale]) been vegetarian since I was 18."
"My wife (37 F[emale]) is a meat eater in a way that only a south east Asian can be."
"She enthusiastically eats everything."
"We have been together for over a decade and have two children, there have been zero problems."- ndraiay
Date one?"
"Hell I married one, and we're still together more than 30 years later."- LJ_Wanderer
"Yeah."
"I have. Wasn’t much of an issue."- iAmPresidentNixonAMA
shocked my big fat greek wedding GIFGiphyWilling To Expand Their Palette
"Sure."
"I do a day or two here and there veg anyway, maybe they can show me some new foods or recipes."- Drew-
"Yea I love me some meat. But the vegan and vegetarian options are good."- mrsnowplow
As Long As There's Respect
"As a vegetarian I would and have dated meat lovers, as long as they don’t make a ton of jokes about slipping meat into my food without me noticing (which has happened) or get super preachy about why i should be eating meat/ why being vegetarian isn’t actually better for the environment (which has also happened)."
"For the record, I never push my beliefs onto anyone I’m dating or expect them to change their diet for me."-FigCompetitive5599
"I don’t see why not, assuming they wouldn’t try to change my diet or something."- MahouShounenKerenKun
"Vegan here for 6 years now."
"I’ve only ever been with meat eaters."
"I would do it again too lol."
"As long as you both aren’t trying to change each other it shouldn’t matter."
"As for eating out/ cooking, people who care for one another are willing to make a few compromises or tweaks to their meals if needed."
"Meaning we can both get something different to eat out, we take turns choosing restaurants ( Not picky I’ll eat anything as long as it falls under my dietary restrictions as for my partners in the past they were always willing to try something new ) and if we’re cooking or if they are we just make some tweaks to make my meal vegan or we’ll both eat vegan."
"My past partners haven’t had any complaints for what it’s worth lol."
"As long as you both have mutual respect for one another you can make it work!."- Lazuli111_
Episode 16 Vegan GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyLogical, I Guess?
"If this were the apocalypse and food was scarce, sure I'd probably go my separate way (after trading my partner to scavengers for meat) but in today's normal world where we can both readily buy what we want, who gives a f*ck."- AdmiralBarackAdama
Easy Ways To Work Around It
"Vegetarian married to a meat eater."
'We normally eat veg at home, just because neither of know how to cook meat."- VeeRook
Easy For Meat Eaters, Less So For Vegetarians And Vegans
"I feel like a vegan would have a way harder time tolerating a SO who eats meat considering their typical moral/ethical stances on the livestock industry."- C-Kwentz-0
Vegan Veganism GIFGiphyIt's All About Compromise
"I love meat and am happily married to a vegetarian."
"One of our kids loves meat, the other two don’t eat it."
"Sure, we’ve had to compromise at times, but that’s what a relationship is all about."- jalexgray4
One's taste in food is very personal, and no one should ever convince you to change it, particularly if your taste in food stems from even bigger beliefs.
That being said, sometimes love can be strong enough to make you overlook the steaks you'd rather not have in your freezer, or settle for buffalo cauliflower at a Super Bowl party.