Marriage takes WORK. If both parties aren't willing to put in the effort things get bad pretty fast. The fairytale lie we've been fed of happily ever after has made it difficult for people to grasp what real long-term relationships look like. News flash: it gets messy!
When Redditor CrisP_bacon asked the question “Long term (10+ years) married couples of reddit, Whats was the worst low you've had and why didnt you leave?" the online marriage veterans were glad to share their struggles, and their triumphs.
“I left the Mormon church.”
“I left the Mormon church.”
“For Mormons that frequently means divorce. Temple marriage and the priesthood are a big deal and she assumed that if I was leaving the church it meant I was leaving her too. It was incredibly stressful.”
“I had been pretending to believe since we got married and I figured finally telling her all my feelings would actually make her leave me, after all, no more eternal marriage, broken covenants, "inactive" father to our children, how would she be treated by neighbors/family/other members, etc.”
“I was working two poor jobs at the time and in college. We were barely scraping by even with a good deal on our rent, I was always stressed, and often gone. Our families weren't supportive about my decision. Our neighbors judged. My wife was judged and pitied on every Sunday she went alone.”
“I didn't leave her and I never planned to. She didn't leave me. My wife respected my choices, supported me, and ultimately she ended up leaving too, a few years ago now. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life due to the church and leaving it was the best thing I ever did for myself.”
“It will be fourteen years married and sixteen years together this year. We're happy, we're doing well, and our children are thriving.” victorioushack
translate joseph smith GIF by South Park GiphyThey came out as a conspiracy nut, yikes!
“This week. Finding out my wife of 22 years is an anti vaxxer. Her family is religious and there has always been quirks, but she has gone down a full nutcase rabbit hole, fueled by her idiot mother.”
“Sounds like just one thing, but I'm having a hard time imagining getting over it. We've got kids and she's choosing conspiracies over protecting herself for their sake.”
“Edit - why didn't I leave? This is happening in real time. We've got 3 lovely kids and a pretty good thing going. I hope it doesn't end here.”
“Edit - there were clues in the past but I didn't know (not sure she did either) that she was an anti-science, anti-vaxxer until recently. She and her mom share false YouTube videos of "evidence" and wind each other up.” notmyrealnam3
Burnie Burns Conspiracy GIF by Rooster TeethGiphy“I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**.”
“My wife and I were going through a real funk. We were stressed out, and not getting along very well. Money was a big issue. Things were down to almost nothing in the bedroom. I was just sick of the relationship.”
“And then out of the f*cking blue an old high school crush PMs me on Facebook. We get chatting... we start getting really flirty... a week goes by, and we're talking dirty and planning to meet.”
“On the day we were supposed to hook up - literally hours before our rendezvous- Unsteady by X Ambassadors comes into the radio and I suddenly can't stop thinking about the kids, and how I grew up with no dad in the picture.”
“I felt so stupid and selfish. I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**. I called it off, went home and asked my wife to sit down. I told her everything.”
“She was upset of course, but we began talking about our problems and they got a lot better. Now we're doing amazing, and I'm so glad I didn't f*ck up. Every time I hear that song I'm reminded of it.” Kajiit_hairball
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Poverty is a huge stressor...
“21 years this July. I think it's a mix of good times and bad times. Honestly, the worst moments have been when money's been scarce. That brings he worst out of people. We actually separated once about 9 years ago, we were arguing non-stop and my wife ended up feeling trapped and decided to move out with our youngest.”
“We got over it by working on ourselves and rekindling our relationship, took several months to fix it. On my side, sometimes I too feel trapped for some reasons, like pulling too much weight at home, being the one taking care of more stuff than her, but in the end it's just stupid things.”
“If I left I don't think I'd ever get what I have now. A marriage is not roses always, it takes a lot of effort, compromising, respect, and communication. And lots of sex, not joking.”demoniodoj0
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet...”
“We're coming up on 10 years and have had only a handful of arguments and verbal fights throughout our marriage, but the most prominent one happened right after he pinned on captain rank (O-3) in the Air Force.”
“When he was an O-1 and O-2, he had been sh!t on quite a bit by higher-ranked officers in his unit, so he himself began to adopt that power-trip attitude as soon as he was promoted. I personally despise that kind of ego especially in a partner, and the more I witnessed him treating other people rudely for no reason, the angrier I got.”
“It came to a head when we were at one of the casinos in Vegas, and he started talking down to and belittling a cashier when she tried to explain why he couldn't cash in his chips at that particular window. I was so appalled and infuriated by his behavior that I snapped right there.”
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet, snarling that he'd better pick them up to pay for a divorce lawyer because I was done with his sh*t. We had never, ever mentioned divorce before, and it was a bit of a taboo word for him because he was still traumatized by his parents' messy divorce right before we'd gotten married.”
“So for me to bark it at him in public, which is so out of character for me because I never like to make a scene, was the wakeup call he needed.”
“He was stunned and speechless. After a few awkward seconds, I muttered an apology to the cashier and headed back to our hotel room upstairs. It took another few minutes for him to follow me after retrieving all his chips, and by then we were both extremely upset with each other.”
“Many furious words were exchanged--he couldn't believe I would even bring up divorce and I couldn't believe he didn't realize what an ahole he had become--which ended in both of us in tears. It took another few hours, but we managed to talk through the issue. He promised to check himself and take a step back to reflect on the influence his workplace had on him.”
“That was six years ago. He is now an O-4 and the one that all the junior service members in his squadron elect to go to when they need advice or someone to confide in about work. He has gone out of his way to mentor several airmen who asked for his help in preparing for various programs and schools.”
“Every time I attend a squadron function, I see how well-liked he is by his colleagues. I'm proud and relieved that he reverted to being his regular kind self. Now whenever he has an ahat commander rotate into his group's chain of command, I quietly point out that that could have been him if he had continued along the path of douchebaggery, and it makes him shudder.” OrifielM
Some people need to mind their business...
“Is 9 close enough? Was about a year in, and I ended up taking off for a hotel for a few nights. Why? Because I had my toxic, abusive parents and their cronies constantly calling me and telling me how awful my wife was.”
“They'd tell me how she was sick in the head and keeping me from them (I'd cut them off) and that she was abusing me. It got in my head and she suggested I take a few days away, without my phone, to calm down.”
“I made it til 4am that night, realized my parents were terrible people and my wife was wonderfully supportive of me. Called her and went home immediately. Been going great ever since.” tempthethrowaway
“I'm ashamed now...”
“Married 24 years now. Fifteen years ago, my depression got bad. Usually it manifests as dark humor and swearing; that time, it was fury, frustration and vicious emotional aggression.”
“My wife put up with it for a year. I remember my then-young son asking, "are you angry again?" with such a sadness that it tore at my heart (and reinforced to me that I was worthless, not helping the depression).”
“I was never physically abusive, but I'm ashamed now at the brutal pleasure I felt when she cried. Finally, finally, I listened to my wife and talked to my doctor. They eventually got my meds right, or anyway close enough that I was back in my right mind.”
“We stayed together because my wife is stronger than you would believe, and she knew that her real husband was hidden under all that cruelty. She kept us together. I've been grateful ever since.I'm blessed beyond anything I could deserve. Nowadays, I think that I treat her as she should be treated, like a treasure.”
“I wrote this in part so that people in a depression can see how very, very dark it can get. I was controlled by it. I was d*mned near possessed by it. If you get taken by depression, think of this and get help way sooner than I did.” Vox_Popsicle
Not the dog!
“11 years married. Worst low was he was being a complete AH (Screaming at 8 y/o) to one of my younger kids and when daughter (18) stood up to him he tried to sell her dog as punishment. Didn't leave him because I recognized a PTSD episode and got him help. I think it's important to recognize why a behavior is happening. “
“This was NOT his normal behavior. He's former police officer and this was when he had to walk away from a career he loved. It was HARD, but he was willing to accept help and has stayed in therapy for 2 years now."Suspicious_Sassafras
Mental health can be serious.
“Been together since high school (in our 40's now). Our lowest time was after our kid was born. The company I worked for was closing down. I was applying for jobs like crazy and he just didn't.”
“We ended up moving in with my parent for about half a year. He got a job and was fired 2 weeks later. I got a job but had to commute 4+hours each day. I did all of the night wakings with our baby.”
“There were times I was sleeping in 45 min chunks and then waking up at 5 am to get to work by 9 am, leaving work, driving home 2-3 hours in bad traffic, dealing with a super clingy baby, eat dinner go to bed, rinse and repeat. I did this for 3 months before we found a place to rent near my job.”
“We moved, he got a job, was fired 6 months later. Got another job, fired. We had to move out of our nice apartment into a crappy 1 bedroom apartment that was falling apart due to finances.”
“All this time I was doing all the daycare pick ups and drop off, working 40+ hours and doing all the baby care. I even did this when he didn't have a job because I didn't want to lose our spot in daycare. He didn't clean, didn't cook, didn't interact with our kid when I was home. He was always in a bad mood. I got medicated and my depression got slightly better.”
Things did get better with some help...
“He got another job, almost got fired, got a slightly better paying job, got fired, was unemployed for a long time, got another job, got fired. I stayed because I had such bad PPD and anxiety that I could only react. After he got fired the last time I was going to get a divorce. I was done. He was then diagnosed with bipolar.”
“It's been a year and a half since the diagnosis. He is now medicated and did therapy. We are in a much better place. He got a job but the pandemic closed his location. He has completed stepped up and changed.”
“He handles all schooling for our child, cooks dinner, cleans. I make enough now that we can get by on one income until the pandemic ends. We are friends again and I now like spending time with him. We are still healing from the years of crap but we are in it for the long haul.” darksideoftheday
An emotional affair.
“l caught my wife in an emotional affair that likely, would have turned physical but I'll never really know. I was going through a weird depression and had been pretty physically and emotionally distant for about a year so it's not exactly shocking that she developed feelings for another person but it still completely crushed my world and my stomach still gets in knots sometimes randomly 2 years later.”
“Any time I've mentioned this on Reddit though I get a bunch of comments telling me I should have left her and she will do it again, and it's just not worth it. For the record, we're doing great now and oddly enough the entire awful experience and very nearly ending our marriage made our marriage stronger and I trust her that she'd never want to hurt me like that again and I'm determined to never make her feel lonely or ever allow that kind of space for another person again.” BigBicNic
“I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“Married almost 14 years. Having babies was not good for our relationship. We had three kids in quick succession. My hormones were out of whack for about five years, and he wasn't great dealing with small kids. There were times when I was counting down the days until I could go back to work and save enough money to leave, and I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“We worked through it. Even on our worst days, even when I wanted out, I just kept thinking how much I'd rather have him in my life than out of it. I don't know why he decided to stay.”
“And even though 2020 was rough financially (he was laid off twice and I wasn't working much), it actually seemed to bring us closer. I'm so glad that we stuck it out. Things are never going to be perfect, but I'm very grateful to have him.“ Bay-Area-Tanners
Sometimes all you can do is cry over a beer.
“Just over the 10 year mark. Our worst period came just after the birth of our daughter. She was born with duplexed kidnies and urethra. That's quite common, but she had the worst of it, and for the first three years of her life was in hospital for at least two years; constant UTIs, countless bouts of sepsis, and few critical care stays, four bouts of major surgery, including serious heart problems caused by that."
“Me and my wife were like chalk and cheese during those years. I had my head buried in the sand and put all my eggs in the doctor basket. My wife had that same faith, but read up on absolutely everything."
“As she was living in hospital with our daughter, I was at home with our son. It was a very odd time, where we were like ships in the night. We were both depressed and struggling to cope. You don't see it at the time, as you just take each day as it comes... But when you stop and look back at what you've been through, it can be overbearing to put it all into context."
"Had many a full on breakdown whilst out with my best friend having a beer during that time. That entire period was a strain on the two of us. I think it's fair to say there were quite long periods where we absolutely hated each other."
"There were points I know she had contacted divorce lawyers, and at least a month where we officially separated. We're over that period now, and whilst my daughter is still on medication, she's not had any serious complications in several years now, so all is good."
"It was one hell of a storm though." hellsmk2
Abusive employers are still all too common.
“Sorry, this got long! But I guess the story of a good relationship is rarely short ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Been together almost 12 years. About 3 years ago we were going through a terrible time. We had just finished college, his parents coerced him into turning down a good job offer in his field to help run their business.”
“They gave him some pretty lofty promises.Instead, his father drove the business into the ground and spent the family into astronomical debt before drinking himself into an early grave. Because he lied on his insurance forms about his health, the family got nothing. Despite his many flaws he'd been more like a father to me instead of a father in law, and it was devastating.”
“I was working absolute garbage, grunt jobs, getting paid minimum wage. I was trying to get a few years experience in my field in order to work my way into a better place, but it just wasn't enough money. I barely made enough to cover my own bills, putting a lot of financial strain on my husband.”
“Eventually I had a mental breakdown and had to completely quit because my job was so abusive I couldn't take it anymore. I went on unemployment, which paid less than I was already making. A lot of other things were going on during this time, but the bottom line was I felt unsupported emotionally, and very bullied by him. He felt that I was not being an equal partner to him, that I was living like a teenager in our home while he was the parent who had to take care of everything.“
“I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy.”
“I wasn't trying to pull my weight because I was severely depressed and hurting. It seemed no one in my life cared about the terrible things that had happened to me at my former work place, and I just felt abused all over again by everyone around me. No one even asked me if I was ok, not even my husband."
“I felt like no one cared about me at all. He didn't care what I was going through because he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, he couldn't take on any more. It took a lot of fights, a lot of listening, swallowing of hard pills and apologies from both of us. Also, healing and growing aren't linear."
“Even after acknowledging our hurts and faults, we both relapsed into our toxic behaviours several times over the past couple of years. Forgiveness isn't linear, either. Sometimes you really have to work at it, and point out to yourself the difference between holding a grudge and seeing a pattern."
"My husband worked his @ss off and not only got the family nearly out of debt in just a few years (we are talking in the hundreds of thousands here), he's got the family business positively blooming. I have done a lot of hard work of my own. I've kept the same job for years now, and I'm going back to school for something more profitable that I will enjoy."
"I've also been working on some side hustles that are going well. We have a beautiful, happy home, and we're both trying every day to be our best selves. Why did we stay together? TBH, from the outside looking in, I probably would have just told myself to leave."
"It wasn't working and there wasn't any sign that it would get better. I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy. Mostly because I felt like I couldn't leave, I'd been here and with him for too long. I hated the idea of him moving on with someone else, it fuelled my toxic feelings which kept me trapped."
"I don't know why he stayed, other than that he loves me and so remained hopeful that we could fix things. I guess we were both just lucky that underneath it all we are reasonable and kind people, so we were able to crawl out of the mess." poisonergranny
When tragedy struck...
“34 years married here. Our lowest point was when our 9 year old son was hit by a car. I went into a deep depression after his death and couldn't cope. It really brought out the worst in both of us. We handled it differently and really struggled to make sense of it all. It was a few really tough years but we stayed together and tried to work through it all.”
“My husband finally recognized my behaviours and lack of interest in anything, including the fact I left my job, as depression and found me professional help. It was a long road, but we made it through and grew closer after. When things go bad, you have to really fight to hold a marriage together, but it's worth it. Don't give up.” cardixa00
Needed some connection.
“16 years coming up soon. The darkest moment was probably the first year of marriage. New city away from her family and friends, stressful job, and I was working during the day and going to school at night for a masters degree.”
“She cried. A lot. But we made it and we have been forever grateful for the time we have together, knowing how awful it was when we couldn't be together.” billionthtimesacharm
GIF by AM to DMGiphy“It was a painful refresher class.”
“F married to M for over 25 years. When my son was 10 he got diagnosed with a brain condition. I became obsessed with taking care of him. Three years later he was diagnosed as stable and it was the first time I felt he wouldn't need surgery.”
“That's when I realized how neglectful I had been to my husband. He was kind. He still loved me. But he thought I didn't love him anymore.”
“We separated for a while, but everytime I brought up divorce he would say no. I wanted him to move back, but he would say to give him time. We didn't talk for about two months. And then he contacted me, begging for my forgiveness. We began to date again, eventually he moved back home.”
“I'm telling the facts, but the emotions were flying high. While apart, we would talk for hours on the phone. We became closer and got to know each other really well again. It was a painful refresher class. I hope we never take each other for granted again.“ aubor
Sometimes it’s the quiet moments.
“We have been married over 20 years and had a lot of stress and times when everything around us went wrong. But the lowest point was a time when there was nothing really wrong in our lives, but we grew apart, and each of us seemed to feel that the other person was the enemy. But we were able to work our way through it because I think we both knew it was the best option for us both.“ Ok_Huckleberry6820
Therapy should not be stigmatized, it helps.
“Married 9 but together 13 so I think this counts. Both of us had sh!tty childhoods and plenty of baggage left over from them -- but not the same exact baggage, so over time you start getting annoyed at the other person for not understanding your crap, because their crap-handling technique is different and you know they don't like how you handle yours."
“We eventually got into a nasty dysfunctional cycle where everyone feels misunderstood and no one feels taken care of, and no one feels safe to be themselves because 'being yourself' apparently sets off the other person, and it's really hard to break out of that when everyone feels angry and no one wants to stuff their feelings about it anymore, and so on."
"We started doing EFT couples work (emotionally focused therapy) during the pandemic -- online therapy is a lot easier to wedge into our schedules than in-person. We are working on hard stuff. I spend most Wednesdays feeling drained. It is 1000% worth the time, money, and effort."
"I was never actually considering leaving because I always knew I could throw the 'that's it, we need to do some actual couples work' card, and that that would probably improve things. I think any couple where the partners come from a tricky background will run into a patch like this and will need to do this kind of work. People like us, our default attachment mode does not lend itself to happiness by default. I am very happy that we are working on this sh*t." withbellson
Relationships take work, dedication, and self reflection from both parties. Hope these couples continue staying safe and in love.
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People Who Got What They Wished For Along With Unintended Consequences Share Their Experiences
"Reddit user Casca_In_Red asked: 'Have you ever gotten monkey's pawed (gotten something you deeply wished for but it came with unintended consequences) and if so, how?'"
I try to be VERY specific with my wishes.
You have to be.
If you're not specific, you leave room for grey areas.
And the powers that be who dole out wishes like to play with the script.
I'm even precise when I throw pennies in a fountain.
Do the kids still do that anymore?
The sad truth is that life is a give and take.
And irony is unavoidable.
So be careful what you wish for... the author of that line should be a billionaire.
Redditor Casca_In_Red wanted to hear about how wishes and hopes have gone awry, so they asked:
"Have you ever gotten 'monkey's pawed' (gotten something you deeply wished for but it came with unintended consequences) and if so, how?"
Life is consequence and in the end... nothing is free.
Sad Finances
Pay Day Money GIFGiphy"I wished for the money to pay off my car and all my bills, I got the money when my brother died and left me money in his will."
gh234ip
"Same for me. Wished my house would get paid off and then got the money after both my parents died within months of each other."
chi-woo
Let's Go Out
"Wished I could stay at home all day with my cats. Boom, on dialysis with stage 5 kidney failure. I did work 2 more years before going on disability and then I was too sick to enjoy much about being home, but I still got what I wished for. (I'm doing much better now and still stay home with the cats because now I work from home. It'd be nice if I had enough money not to work but I think I've tempted fate enough)."
auntiepink007
Whoops
"In January of 2020, I was overwhelmed with everything in my life and wished for the world to pause for a couple of weeks so I could get my crap figured out. And uh well sorry everyone."
Dropped_Rock
"Scrolling through the comments makes me think COVID was caused by a massive collective wish for a break from work. Like, our entire species consisting mostly of overworked poor sods entered some kind of hive-mind state wanting a break so desperately that evolution said 'You know what? Here, have this!'"
Ser_Optimus
"Same here. When I saw that animal crossing was coming out for the switch, I told my manager I was gonna need a 2 month paid break to play the game as a joke. My manager texted me during lockdown and asked if I was enjoying the game."
CatsandPotatoes
Sacrificing Others
"I got promoted. Something I wanted for a while. I went to go tell a colleague and his desk was being emptied. In order to promote me they let go of him. he hadn't been performing as well... they could have kept both of us but since I asked for the promotion, in order to keep me they canned them."
"It was devastating for him but I never told him what they told me. I just lived with it and let him rant. I lost touch after a while but I don't think he ever put two and two together. I knew because I had asked. For a while, I felt a lot of guilt but it faded. Not my call."
Nonbinary_Tea
CEO Problems
Sad The End GIF by HollyoaksGiphy"Wanted to start a successful company. I did it and lost the love of my life because I was never home."
ruralexcursion
Work takes WORK.
They never tell you how much sacrifice comes along with it.
No Fun
mad homer simpson GIFGiphy"When I was a kid, I just wanted to be an adult so I could do adult things. Am an adult. It's exhausting. My back hurts."
netwolf420
January 2020...
"In January 2020 my wife was diagnosed with Stage III cancer. She was obviously upset, and one thing she was really sad about was having to miss out on social gatherings and work conferences while she underwent chemo and healed up. Fast forward a couple of months and, well, turns out the whole world missed out on all that, too."
"She’s still getting treatment and trying to keep the disease under control. It hasn’t been an easy 3+ years, but our family has been able to enjoy a lot of moments together since the initial diagnosis, and we hope there’s still more to come."
12345_PIZZA
A needed intervening...
"Back in early 2020, I realized I'd misread some dates and had a family vacation planned at the same time I had an evaluation for a university that I had to be there in person for. The vacation was extremely important to me since it was likely it might be the last I could ever go on with my mother. I spent about a week agonizing over it, wishing for some grand intervention that would get me out of the evaluation. Anyways, my wish was granted when my country went into hard lockdown because of Covid. Whoops."
medievalsl*t
Wrong Move
"Wanted this promotion at work to a management-level position. Got it and hated it. The amount of sh*t you have to deal with from coworkers wasn't worth it. Like you kind of have an idea of who's who in the office before, but then you get a veil lifted and you get clued in on a lot of things."
"Like, who's a good worker, who's a complete slacker but still employed b/c of connections, or who has to have some flexible time off b/c they're going thru some substance use issues., etc. Also, the bottom 10% of workers give you like 90% of the trouble."
chewytime
Oh My
Future of the DamnedGiphy"Wished for a girlfriend who was always in the mood. Got that but she wanted it more often than me and got really upset when I couldn’t perform. So then I wished for a break and she died. Also wished my job was remote, and then Covid happened."
bumscicle
Well the phrase "Be careful what you wish for" has never felt scarier.
The grass isn't always greener.
Lesson learned.
Anyone who has held more than one job in their work histories can agree that some jobs are better suited for us than others.
But some jobs have turned out to be such a bad match, people have quit at an impressively fast rate.
Redditor thed**ned234 asked:
"What's the fastest you ever quit a job and why?"
Not Meant for Telemarketing
"It took me about two hours in telemarketing to realize what an a**hole I felt like, and then I left."
- Bumpa**
Not What They Signed Up For
"I was hired by a temp agency to file documents in a Paint Factory office, but when I showed up, I was put on the assembly line with zero training or instruction and the cans came down the conveyor belt at 10,000 miles per hour."
"I don't even know what I was supposed to do. I just let each can whiz by. I quit at the end of the first day."
- JamesKPolk130
Saw an Opportunity
"At one of those quick-lube oil change places when I was about 18, they had me down in the pit (under the vehicles) draining the oil, and I kept getting burned by hot oil and by hot exhaust pipes."
"On the second day, I said I had to use the bathroom, and when I walked around to the side of the building, I took off running and didn't come back."
- _Shape-Shifter
Not Wasting Their Time
"15 minutes."
"I applied for and accepted a job that was advertised as solely data entry, evening shifts. I got there, did the quick intro and meet-and-greet thing, and was handed a mobile phone."
"The supervisor goes, 'It's actually a cold-calling role. No one would apply if we said that, so we tell people it's data entry.'"
"I went, 'Sorry, what?'"
"He said, 'Yeah, we cold-call people for this idea my friend has, asking for investors! You'll get a commission if you do well!'"
"At that point in time, I was a salty, snarky young lady, so I told him to shove it, that this was probably illegal in so many, many, ways, I applied for data entry job and not cold calling and swindling people, etc etc."
"I called my dad to come pick me up and never looked back. I took a legit data entry offer the next day."
"So. Yeah. Uh... 15 minutes. Found out many years later that dude and the friend with the great idea both got done on some serious fraud charges shortly after my run-in with them."
- silvanmorte
Immediately No
"In college, I got a summer job at SeaRay boats through a temp agency. I showed up first-thing, and they had me sit in the break room, which was on the second floor, overlooking the entire plant."
"I waited an hour for someone to come to get me and heard a commotion. I looked out and three or four people were running out, because a dude cut off his middle and ring fingers with a Sawzall. The dude behind him had his fingers in a towel."
"At the time, I wasn’t what you might call tool handy. So I noped right the f**k out."
- tech405
A Negative Amount of Time at the Job
"I quit 15 minutes before I got there."
"I had a weird feeling about the job and how vague the hiring manager was being."
"Halfway through the drive on my first day, I put the clues together, and it dawned on me that it was some traveling door-to-door sales s**t. The kind where they pack you in a van and drive you to some neighborhood to sell coupon books or whatever."
- Suougibma
Strike Three
"I'm a vet tech. I quit a clinic after about three weeks when the doctor told me to start reusing needles. He wanted me to pull up a vaccine, administer it, and then pull the next vaccine up into the same syringe with the same needle and repeat."
"That was the final straw."
"The first straw was finding out that we (it was a small practice with two other techs and one receptionist) were required to bring our own toilet paper to work."
- xonacrackr
A Whole New Level of Cross-Contamination
"Sandwich shop. The health inspector showed up. They found mop cleaning solution in the tub they were keeping the utensils they used to make sandwiches with (get meatballs out for subs, spread tuna on sandwiches, etc)."
"That explained the very odd, burning chemical smell from that area. The mop cleaner was mixing with the meatballs and sauce and just cooking all day in that pot."
"The owner argued that it was safe to use it that way. The health inspector made him dump it out in front of them."
"The second they left, he filled it back up and put all the utensils back in it."
- cheyonreddit
The Scapegoat
"Six weeks. I got blamed for another delivery driver leaving the tank close to empty and not parked where it needed to be."
"I was like, 'Huh?'"
"Then a week after I left, they found out it was another driver and they were fired right after."
- BoosterRead78
No Time Off
"I worked at 24-Hour Fitness when I was 17. I wanted to go skiing for a week and was told no it was impossible to schedule."
"So I just walked out. The manager was fuming and yelling about marking me as a no rehire or some bulls**t."
"I found a job at an LA Fitness center down the street that paid more after my ski trip. Good times."
- 89fruits89
Not in the Job Description
"I worked at Party City and was closing. Someone s**t in the bathrooms but not in the toilets. It was on the floor, the walls, the stall doors, in the sinks, in the SOAP DISPENSERS… and for an added effect, they had smashed the dispense button a few times. Vile."
"I was NOT on bathroom duty that evening but for whatever reason, my Manager told me to clean it up."
"H**l to the no. I told her I wasn’t cleaning that biohazard and that my 7.25 an hour wasn’t worth it. PLUS there was no way in h**l I could clean all of that up in the 30 minutes before I had to clock out (or get written up for being over)."
"My manager, the living embodiment of Shrek, said she’d write me up for failing to complete my closing checklist (again, I wasn’t on bathrooms that evening)."
"So, in my best judgment, I went and clocked out and left. Never came back. I was scheduled to open the next morning but nope."
"My General Manager sent me an email confirming my termination and said, 'You’ll always be welcome back, should you choose to come in.'"
- Kili-Starlight
The Coworkers' Advice
"First day. I got out of the Marines and got a job doing hardwood floors for 10 dollars per hour."
"They didn't tell me I had the job and then called me and asked where I was. I used a whole tank of gas driving from job to job."
"The first thing the boss asked me was, 'Are you messed up from the war?' (Of course I am)."
"Every employee told me how much they hate the job and to run. I finished the day and quit."
- Irondaddy_29
A Pyramid Scheme
"I had an interview that was unlike any other interview I’ve ever had. It was a room full of other applicants and the 'interviewer.'"
"The interviewer was telling us about the job, asked if anyone had any questions, and then said we were all hired."
"I didn’t fill any paperwork out thank goodness. After he said we were all hired, half the people including myself walked out."
"The job was to go door to door selling knives, and we would have to pay $2k for our demo set of knives. Nope! No thanks!"
- bzsbal
Just Not a Match
"I was a dishwasher and I lasted one shift."
"I was 19. The owner/chef was a nice guy but I knew this wasn’t the job for me maybe one hour into my shift."
"I finished the shift, told him I wasn’t coming back, and asked for $40 cash to call it even. He obliged. He even gave me a bowl of risotto."
- PewdyDewdy
More Self-Respect Than That
"I was a waitress and I didn't even last out the shift."
"I had a job and it was my day off. An acquaintance begged me to help out waitressing for the night because his work was really short-staffed. I was traveling and staying in a backpacker's, so I didn't really have the right gear and had to pull something together really last minute."
"I got there and the manager gave me a hard time about my black pants and gave me a bit of a dressing down in front of the rest of the staff about my lack of professionalism because my pants were men's suit pants."
"I started work feeling pretty down and then the penny dropped. This guy isn't my boss, I'm only helping them out of a jam. I took my apron off and walked out without saying anything to anyone. Best feeling ever."
- sometimessnowing
We've likely all had at least one job that we didn't enjoy or that we didn't feel like was a good fit for us, but so many of us tried to stick it out, either waiting for something better to come along or sticking around for the paycheck.
These stories of people walking out with more self-respect than the job showed were almost cathartic in a way!
Men Who've Had A Woman Move In With Them Explain How A 'Woman's Touch' Improved Things
All of us have our own unique set of talents, and talents around the home are no exception.
But men have pointed out that after having a woman live with them, their home went from simply functional to welcoming and cozy.
Redditor Fortuna_Pulling asked:
"Men who [have lived] alone and then had a woman move into your place, what are some examples of 'a woman's touch' that she added?"
So Comforting.
"So many blankets everywhere."
- OxtailPhoenix
An Annoying Number of Pillows
"So many f**king throw pillows. I can't sit on the couch without moving some. And then where am I supposed to put them?
I'm okay with decorating, but not when it gets in the way of an object's function."
- Pac_Eddy
"I don't get it either, although I'm not nearly as girly as my sister."
"I went to visit them and there was a small mountain of throw pillows at the foot of the bed by the time I cleared them off, all to sleep in their guest bedroom."
- Lady_von_Stinkbeaver
The Garden Feature
"She made a raised flower bed in my backyard and planted a nice little vegetable garden."
- johnsonfromsconsin
"Yeah, my wife is the one who works with plants. I mow the lawn and occasionally rake the leaves when they fall. Also, I trim the two big bushes we have in the backyard once a year. Even that feels like too much yard work for me (but I’m too cheap to pay someone else to do it for me). She likes digging in the dirt. I don’t, never did."
- ChronoLegion2
Surrounded By Loved Ones
"Apparently I am supposed to have pictures of my loved ones in my house. Who knew?"
- BillionaireGhost
Not Knowing What They Had
"My house is plain as f**k. My ex had it looking like a home. Decor/rugs/wall hangings, etc. It was 10 times better. She took it all when she left and I never got around to trying it out myself. I should, though. It really looked so much better."
- depressedf**kboi
Home Sweet Ship
"I worked on a ship when a female cook-steward started working there, before the crew were all male."
"Within a couple of days, the mess and galley were transformed. Tablecloths, curtains, coasters, it was really all new, the galley became a water-cooler kinda place where you always could go to have a chat and get a snack, the galley always smelled of cooking and she was listening to her radio."
"It was a real game changer from the former grumpy guy and sterile setting. Our skipper loved it."
- TheCapten
Out of Thin Air
"A friend of mine, who grew up with his dad and two brothers, told me they found out his dad had a girlfriend when suddenly a candle appeared in the living room out of nowhere."
- The_Sceptic_Lemur
Actual Furniture
"She replaced my cardboard box with an end table. Unnecessarily."
- shytster
"The NERVE!"
- NuttonButton
The Moment He Knew
"I came home once from work. She’d made an awesome dinner. Put cut-up strawberries in the salad."
"Strawberries, guys. It was game over."
"We've been married nine years now and she’s still doing everything on a strawberries-in-the-salad level."
- Gr8BrownBuffalo
Improved Living
"Before my wife moved in (girlfriend at that time), I lived with a friend and our flat looked pretty bad, more like a university student flat than anything else. Zero decorations, old furniture from the landlord, horrible cream color walls, etc."
"Since we were always at work and barely home, it was not a problem for us. Living abroad, I always considered it a temporary place and didn't have much attachment to it, so I didn't want to spend time and money to improve the space."
"Once she moved in, we slowly started making it into a real home. We painted the walls, bought furniture, plants, hung some photos, bought a cat, etc. It made such a huge difference and improved our quality of life, to be honest."
- vgcamara
It's Called "A Variety"
"The million shampoo bottles and all the seasonings."
- ButtervonBaum
More Accessories
"Pictures, curtains, cushions. Little tables to put your drinks on. Coasters! So much stuff, bless her."
- stumpytoeskiing
"For some reason, a couple of different companies send me little magazines every once in a while, so I just use those as coasters. It’s always fun to see what’s on the cover of my new coasters."
- Freedom_7
Organized Like a #CleanTok Video
"My messy fridge turned into a very clean and organized 'refrigeratohrrr.'"
- badboogyman
The At-Home Bakery
"She always gets vanilla candles, and now this house always smells like a bakery, and GOD D**MIT, I LOVE IT."
- Big-Routine222
A Happy Home
"A warmth and happiness I didn’t know I was missing and CERTAINLY didn’t know how to cultivate."
"Art, glassware style unity, refrigerator organization, multiple sets of sheets… The list goes on. A million little touches that compile a happy home."
- CoolAndGroovy
Though there are a few jokes thrown in here, it's heartwarming to see how well-received a comfy and cozy home was for these men on the subReddit and how they're willing to contribute all of those feelings to their partner's hard work.
The people you love can hurt you the most.
When a relationship is on the rocks due to an incompatibility awareness or an unfaithful lover, it can feel like all hope is lost.
But there are worse things to come when the inevitable breakup happens.
Ending a relationship is bad enough as it is, but the words said in the heat of the moment can be like twisting the knife after being stabbed in the heart.
Strangers online revisited their dating history to share their lowest point in a relationship after Redditor thedamned234 asked:
"What is the worst thing your EX said during the breakup?"
These Redditors were kicked while they were down.
There are Options
"I can have any guy in this room, why would I want to be with you."
– wyoflyboy68
"No, you can f'k every guy in this room. It's different."
– PinceTancredi
Dispensible
"After I financially supported her for three years, I paid the travel expenses for American Idol auditions and one America's Got Talent audition. After I nursed her through her recovery after gastric bypass surgery, she said this,"
"You are worthless and I don't have time for you anymore."
– Elle12881
Actions Hurt The Most
"Abusive relationship for 3 years. Finally had enough and broke up with her after taking her to dinner. She got hostile (again) and I literally f'king ran out the restaurant. The worst was her screaming my name while driving in circles around the casino parking lot, honking the horn. She was not sad. She was angry as f'k."
– chaoticneutraldood
Trust issues were at the heart of these problematic relationships.
Hurting Before Getting Hurt
"Justifying her cheating because she thought I was cheating on her."
"I wasn't."
– TopTurtleWorld
"My girlfriend has been accusing me of cheating the last few months. I’ve been depressed and kind of distant, but I still only want her. My greatest fear in life is this. I don’t know what that says about my relationship and self-esteem but here we are."
– VANY11A
Just Someone She Lived With
"My last ex left me for the person she was cheating on me with, after 3 years together. When she came to get the last of her stuff, she would only talk about how she was worried she'd screwed up things with her new partner, cause he didn't know she was with me at the time. She'd lied to him and just said I was someone she lived with."
"She wasn't even sorry about what she'd done to me, just that it was causing problems with the person she actually cared about. Been hard to feel good about myself since then."
– Cheesus333
These words sting the most.
Oof!
"I wish we never met."
– Skyx10
"I usually get something similar from enemies and my brother"
– thedamned234
Undesireable
"My 2nd two year relationship, 'I feel disgusted when I touch you' that ate at me for a while. Much healthier and happy spot now."
– khadmon
By The Way
"Well, it is better than 'I'm breaking up with you because Im getting married tomorrow, please leave or I'll file a restraining order.' After 5 years in a relationship."
– sam-sung
Father Figure
"You'll never be a great father (before I even had children)."
"No reason why she should have said that except I held off having children with her because she was a heavy smoker and lied about quitting. I am now a father of two in a happy marriage of 9+ years. My kids tell me they love me every night and I spend almost all my money on them making memories, not stuff."
– cubsfanrva79
Consolation Prize
"After 5 and a half years: 'I was just afraid I would end up alone, so I settled for you.' Immediately after the break up she had a new boyfriend."
– kokosnoot32
Roommates With Benefits
"6 years and she used the same line on me as she did with the guy before me."
"We were just roommates who f'ked for the last 6 months"
"I'd bought us our firat house 3 months before."
"Over a year later and I'm still broken mess."
– accused_throwaway22
There's no way to soften the blow when it's time to breakup with someone–the worst of which happens when it's a unilateral decision.
Although I give compassion points for those who are not hostile during breakups, it doesn't help when they say, "It's not you it's me."
Like, that makes things so much better.
What do you think is the gentlest and honest way to breakup with someone?