Marriage takes WORK. If both parties aren't willing to put in the effort things get bad pretty fast. The fairytale lie we've been fed of happily ever after has made it difficult for people to grasp what real long-term relationships look like. News flash: it gets messy!
When Redditor CrisP_bacon asked the question “Long term (10+ years) married couples of reddit, Whats was the worst low you've had and why didnt you leave?" the online marriage veterans were glad to share their struggles, and their triumphs.
“I left the Mormon church.”
“I left the Mormon church.”
“For Mormons that frequently means divorce. Temple marriage and the priesthood are a big deal and she assumed that if I was leaving the church it meant I was leaving her too. It was incredibly stressful.”
“I had been pretending to believe since we got married and I figured finally telling her all my feelings would actually make her leave me, after all, no more eternal marriage, broken covenants, "inactive" father to our children, how would she be treated by neighbors/family/other members, etc.”
“I was working two poor jobs at the time and in college. We were barely scraping by even with a good deal on our rent, I was always stressed, and often gone. Our families weren't supportive about my decision. Our neighbors judged. My wife was judged and pitied on every Sunday she went alone.”
“I didn't leave her and I never planned to. She didn't leave me. My wife respected my choices, supported me, and ultimately she ended up leaving too, a few years ago now. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life due to the church and leaving it was the best thing I ever did for myself.”
“It will be fourteen years married and sixteen years together this year. We're happy, we're doing well, and our children are thriving.” victorioushack
translate joseph smith GIF by South Park GiphyThey came out as a conspiracy nut, yikes!
“This week. Finding out my wife of 22 years is an anti vaxxer. Her family is religious and there has always been quirks, but she has gone down a full nutcase rabbit hole, fueled by her idiot mother.”
“Sounds like just one thing, but I'm having a hard time imagining getting over it. We've got kids and she's choosing conspiracies over protecting herself for their sake.”
“Edit - why didn't I leave? This is happening in real time. We've got 3 lovely kids and a pretty good thing going. I hope it doesn't end here.”
“Edit - there were clues in the past but I didn't know (not sure she did either) that she was an anti-science, anti-vaxxer until recently. She and her mom share false YouTube videos of "evidence" and wind each other up.” notmyrealnam3
Burnie Burns Conspiracy GIF by Rooster TeethGiphy“I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**.”
“My wife and I were going through a real funk. We were stressed out, and not getting along very well. Money was a big issue. Things were down to almost nothing in the bedroom. I was just sick of the relationship.”
“And then out of the f*cking blue an old high school crush PMs me on Facebook. We get chatting... we start getting really flirty... a week goes by, and we're talking dirty and planning to meet.”
“On the day we were supposed to hook up - literally hours before our rendezvous- Unsteady by X Ambassadors comes into the radio and I suddenly can't stop thinking about the kids, and how I grew up with no dad in the picture.”
“I felt so stupid and selfish. I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**. I called it off, went home and asked my wife to sit down. I told her everything.”
“She was upset of course, but we began talking about our problems and they got a lot better. Now we're doing amazing, and I'm so glad I didn't f*ck up. Every time I hear that song I'm reminded of it.” Kajiit_hairball
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Poverty is a huge stressor...
“21 years this July. I think it's a mix of good times and bad times. Honestly, the worst moments have been when money's been scarce. That brings he worst out of people. We actually separated once about 9 years ago, we were arguing non-stop and my wife ended up feeling trapped and decided to move out with our youngest.”
“We got over it by working on ourselves and rekindling our relationship, took several months to fix it. On my side, sometimes I too feel trapped for some reasons, like pulling too much weight at home, being the one taking care of more stuff than her, but in the end it's just stupid things.”
“If I left I don't think I'd ever get what I have now. A marriage is not roses always, it takes a lot of effort, compromising, respect, and communication. And lots of sex, not joking.”demoniodoj0
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet...”
“We're coming up on 10 years and have had only a handful of arguments and verbal fights throughout our marriage, but the most prominent one happened right after he pinned on captain rank (O-3) in the Air Force.”
“When he was an O-1 and O-2, he had been sh!t on quite a bit by higher-ranked officers in his unit, so he himself began to adopt that power-trip attitude as soon as he was promoted. I personally despise that kind of ego especially in a partner, and the more I witnessed him treating other people rudely for no reason, the angrier I got.”
“It came to a head when we were at one of the casinos in Vegas, and he started talking down to and belittling a cashier when she tried to explain why he couldn't cash in his chips at that particular window. I was so appalled and infuriated by his behavior that I snapped right there.”
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet, snarling that he'd better pick them up to pay for a divorce lawyer because I was done with his sh*t. We had never, ever mentioned divorce before, and it was a bit of a taboo word for him because he was still traumatized by his parents' messy divorce right before we'd gotten married.”
“So for me to bark it at him in public, which is so out of character for me because I never like to make a scene, was the wakeup call he needed.”
“He was stunned and speechless. After a few awkward seconds, I muttered an apology to the cashier and headed back to our hotel room upstairs. It took another few minutes for him to follow me after retrieving all his chips, and by then we were both extremely upset with each other.”
“Many furious words were exchanged--he couldn't believe I would even bring up divorce and I couldn't believe he didn't realize what an ahole he had become--which ended in both of us in tears. It took another few hours, but we managed to talk through the issue. He promised to check himself and take a step back to reflect on the influence his workplace had on him.”
“That was six years ago. He is now an O-4 and the one that all the junior service members in his squadron elect to go to when they need advice or someone to confide in about work. He has gone out of his way to mentor several airmen who asked for his help in preparing for various programs and schools.”
“Every time I attend a squadron function, I see how well-liked he is by his colleagues. I'm proud and relieved that he reverted to being his regular kind self. Now whenever he has an ahat commander rotate into his group's chain of command, I quietly point out that that could have been him if he had continued along the path of douchebaggery, and it makes him shudder.” OrifielM
Some people need to mind their business...
“Is 9 close enough? Was about a year in, and I ended up taking off for a hotel for a few nights. Why? Because I had my toxic, abusive parents and their cronies constantly calling me and telling me how awful my wife was.”
“They'd tell me how she was sick in the head and keeping me from them (I'd cut them off) and that she was abusing me. It got in my head and she suggested I take a few days away, without my phone, to calm down.”
“I made it til 4am that night, realized my parents were terrible people and my wife was wonderfully supportive of me. Called her and went home immediately. Been going great ever since.” tempthethrowaway
“I'm ashamed now...”
“Married 24 years now. Fifteen years ago, my depression got bad. Usually it manifests as dark humor and swearing; that time, it was fury, frustration and vicious emotional aggression.”
“My wife put up with it for a year. I remember my then-young son asking, "are you angry again?" with such a sadness that it tore at my heart (and reinforced to me that I was worthless, not helping the depression).”
“I was never physically abusive, but I'm ashamed now at the brutal pleasure I felt when she cried. Finally, finally, I listened to my wife and talked to my doctor. They eventually got my meds right, or anyway close enough that I was back in my right mind.”
“We stayed together because my wife is stronger than you would believe, and she knew that her real husband was hidden under all that cruelty. She kept us together. I've been grateful ever since.I'm blessed beyond anything I could deserve. Nowadays, I think that I treat her as she should be treated, like a treasure.”
“I wrote this in part so that people in a depression can see how very, very dark it can get. I was controlled by it. I was d*mned near possessed by it. If you get taken by depression, think of this and get help way sooner than I did.” Vox_Popsicle
Not the dog!
“11 years married. Worst low was he was being a complete AH (Screaming at 8 y/o) to one of my younger kids and when daughter (18) stood up to him he tried to sell her dog as punishment. Didn't leave him because I recognized a PTSD episode and got him help. I think it's important to recognize why a behavior is happening. “
“This was NOT his normal behavior. He's former police officer and this was when he had to walk away from a career he loved. It was HARD, but he was willing to accept help and has stayed in therapy for 2 years now."Suspicious_Sassafras
Mental health can be serious.
“Been together since high school (in our 40's now). Our lowest time was after our kid was born. The company I worked for was closing down. I was applying for jobs like crazy and he just didn't.”
“We ended up moving in with my parent for about half a year. He got a job and was fired 2 weeks later. I got a job but had to commute 4+hours each day. I did all of the night wakings with our baby.”
“There were times I was sleeping in 45 min chunks and then waking up at 5 am to get to work by 9 am, leaving work, driving home 2-3 hours in bad traffic, dealing with a super clingy baby, eat dinner go to bed, rinse and repeat. I did this for 3 months before we found a place to rent near my job.”
“We moved, he got a job, was fired 6 months later. Got another job, fired. We had to move out of our nice apartment into a crappy 1 bedroom apartment that was falling apart due to finances.”
“All this time I was doing all the daycare pick ups and drop off, working 40+ hours and doing all the baby care. I even did this when he didn't have a job because I didn't want to lose our spot in daycare. He didn't clean, didn't cook, didn't interact with our kid when I was home. He was always in a bad mood. I got medicated and my depression got slightly better.”
Things did get better with some help...
“He got another job, almost got fired, got a slightly better paying job, got fired, was unemployed for a long time, got another job, got fired. I stayed because I had such bad PPD and anxiety that I could only react. After he got fired the last time I was going to get a divorce. I was done. He was then diagnosed with bipolar.”
“It's been a year and a half since the diagnosis. He is now medicated and did therapy. We are in a much better place. He got a job but the pandemic closed his location. He has completed stepped up and changed.”
“He handles all schooling for our child, cooks dinner, cleans. I make enough now that we can get by on one income until the pandemic ends. We are friends again and I now like spending time with him. We are still healing from the years of crap but we are in it for the long haul.” darksideoftheday
An emotional affair.
“l caught my wife in an emotional affair that likely, would have turned physical but I'll never really know. I was going through a weird depression and had been pretty physically and emotionally distant for about a year so it's not exactly shocking that she developed feelings for another person but it still completely crushed my world and my stomach still gets in knots sometimes randomly 2 years later.”
“Any time I've mentioned this on Reddit though I get a bunch of comments telling me I should have left her and she will do it again, and it's just not worth it. For the record, we're doing great now and oddly enough the entire awful experience and very nearly ending our marriage made our marriage stronger and I trust her that she'd never want to hurt me like that again and I'm determined to never make her feel lonely or ever allow that kind of space for another person again.” BigBicNic
“I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“Married almost 14 years. Having babies was not good for our relationship. We had three kids in quick succession. My hormones were out of whack for about five years, and he wasn't great dealing with small kids. There were times when I was counting down the days until I could go back to work and save enough money to leave, and I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“We worked through it. Even on our worst days, even when I wanted out, I just kept thinking how much I'd rather have him in my life than out of it. I don't know why he decided to stay.”
“And even though 2020 was rough financially (he was laid off twice and I wasn't working much), it actually seemed to bring us closer. I'm so glad that we stuck it out. Things are never going to be perfect, but I'm very grateful to have him.“ Bay-Area-Tanners
Sometimes all you can do is cry over a beer.
“Just over the 10 year mark. Our worst period came just after the birth of our daughter. She was born with duplexed kidnies and urethra. That's quite common, but she had the worst of it, and for the first three years of her life was in hospital for at least two years; constant UTIs, countless bouts of sepsis, and few critical care stays, four bouts of major surgery, including serious heart problems caused by that."
“Me and my wife were like chalk and cheese during those years. I had my head buried in the sand and put all my eggs in the doctor basket. My wife had that same faith, but read up on absolutely everything."
“As she was living in hospital with our daughter, I was at home with our son. It was a very odd time, where we were like ships in the night. We were both depressed and struggling to cope. You don't see it at the time, as you just take each day as it comes... But when you stop and look back at what you've been through, it can be overbearing to put it all into context."
"Had many a full on breakdown whilst out with my best friend having a beer during that time. That entire period was a strain on the two of us. I think it's fair to say there were quite long periods where we absolutely hated each other."
"There were points I know she had contacted divorce lawyers, and at least a month where we officially separated. We're over that period now, and whilst my daughter is still on medication, she's not had any serious complications in several years now, so all is good."
"It was one hell of a storm though." hellsmk2
Abusive employers are still all too common.
“Sorry, this got long! But I guess the story of a good relationship is rarely short ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Been together almost 12 years. About 3 years ago we were going through a terrible time. We had just finished college, his parents coerced him into turning down a good job offer in his field to help run their business.”
“They gave him some pretty lofty promises.Instead, his father drove the business into the ground and spent the family into astronomical debt before drinking himself into an early grave. Because he lied on his insurance forms about his health, the family got nothing. Despite his many flaws he'd been more like a father to me instead of a father in law, and it was devastating.”
“I was working absolute garbage, grunt jobs, getting paid minimum wage. I was trying to get a few years experience in my field in order to work my way into a better place, but it just wasn't enough money. I barely made enough to cover my own bills, putting a lot of financial strain on my husband.”
“Eventually I had a mental breakdown and had to completely quit because my job was so abusive I couldn't take it anymore. I went on unemployment, which paid less than I was already making. A lot of other things were going on during this time, but the bottom line was I felt unsupported emotionally, and very bullied by him. He felt that I was not being an equal partner to him, that I was living like a teenager in our home while he was the parent who had to take care of everything.“
“I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy.”
“I wasn't trying to pull my weight because I was severely depressed and hurting. It seemed no one in my life cared about the terrible things that had happened to me at my former work place, and I just felt abused all over again by everyone around me. No one even asked me if I was ok, not even my husband."
“I felt like no one cared about me at all. He didn't care what I was going through because he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, he couldn't take on any more. It took a lot of fights, a lot of listening, swallowing of hard pills and apologies from both of us. Also, healing and growing aren't linear."
“Even after acknowledging our hurts and faults, we both relapsed into our toxic behaviours several times over the past couple of years. Forgiveness isn't linear, either. Sometimes you really have to work at it, and point out to yourself the difference between holding a grudge and seeing a pattern."
"My husband worked his @ss off and not only got the family nearly out of debt in just a few years (we are talking in the hundreds of thousands here), he's got the family business positively blooming. I have done a lot of hard work of my own. I've kept the same job for years now, and I'm going back to school for something more profitable that I will enjoy."
"I've also been working on some side hustles that are going well. We have a beautiful, happy home, and we're both trying every day to be our best selves. Why did we stay together? TBH, from the outside looking in, I probably would have just told myself to leave."
"It wasn't working and there wasn't any sign that it would get better. I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy. Mostly because I felt like I couldn't leave, I'd been here and with him for too long. I hated the idea of him moving on with someone else, it fuelled my toxic feelings which kept me trapped."
"I don't know why he stayed, other than that he loves me and so remained hopeful that we could fix things. I guess we were both just lucky that underneath it all we are reasonable and kind people, so we were able to crawl out of the mess." poisonergranny
When tragedy struck...
“34 years married here. Our lowest point was when our 9 year old son was hit by a car. I went into a deep depression after his death and couldn't cope. It really brought out the worst in both of us. We handled it differently and really struggled to make sense of it all. It was a few really tough years but we stayed together and tried to work through it all.”
“My husband finally recognized my behaviours and lack of interest in anything, including the fact I left my job, as depression and found me professional help. It was a long road, but we made it through and grew closer after. When things go bad, you have to really fight to hold a marriage together, but it's worth it. Don't give up.” cardixa00
Needed some connection.
“16 years coming up soon. The darkest moment was probably the first year of marriage. New city away from her family and friends, stressful job, and I was working during the day and going to school at night for a masters degree.”
“She cried. A lot. But we made it and we have been forever grateful for the time we have together, knowing how awful it was when we couldn't be together.” billionthtimesacharm
GIF by AM to DMGiphy“It was a painful refresher class.”
“F married to M for over 25 years. When my son was 10 he got diagnosed with a brain condition. I became obsessed with taking care of him. Three years later he was diagnosed as stable and it was the first time I felt he wouldn't need surgery.”
“That's when I realized how neglectful I had been to my husband. He was kind. He still loved me. But he thought I didn't love him anymore.”
“We separated for a while, but everytime I brought up divorce he would say no. I wanted him to move back, but he would say to give him time. We didn't talk for about two months. And then he contacted me, begging for my forgiveness. We began to date again, eventually he moved back home.”
“I'm telling the facts, but the emotions were flying high. While apart, we would talk for hours on the phone. We became closer and got to know each other really well again. It was a painful refresher class. I hope we never take each other for granted again.“ aubor
Sometimes it’s the quiet moments.
“We have been married over 20 years and had a lot of stress and times when everything around us went wrong. But the lowest point was a time when there was nothing really wrong in our lives, but we grew apart, and each of us seemed to feel that the other person was the enemy. But we were able to work our way through it because I think we both knew it was the best option for us both.“ Ok_Huckleberry6820
Therapy should not be stigmatized, it helps.
“Married 9 but together 13 so I think this counts. Both of us had sh!tty childhoods and plenty of baggage left over from them -- but not the same exact baggage, so over time you start getting annoyed at the other person for not understanding your crap, because their crap-handling technique is different and you know they don't like how you handle yours."
“We eventually got into a nasty dysfunctional cycle where everyone feels misunderstood and no one feels taken care of, and no one feels safe to be themselves because 'being yourself' apparently sets off the other person, and it's really hard to break out of that when everyone feels angry and no one wants to stuff their feelings about it anymore, and so on."
"We started doing EFT couples work (emotionally focused therapy) during the pandemic -- online therapy is a lot easier to wedge into our schedules than in-person. We are working on hard stuff. I spend most Wednesdays feeling drained. It is 1000% worth the time, money, and effort."
"I was never actually considering leaving because I always knew I could throw the 'that's it, we need to do some actual couples work' card, and that that would probably improve things. I think any couple where the partners come from a tricky background will run into a patch like this and will need to do this kind of work. People like us, our default attachment mode does not lend itself to happiness by default. I am very happy that we are working on this sh*t." withbellson
Relationships take work, dedication, and self reflection from both parties. Hope these couples continue staying safe and in love.
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People Break Down What Absolutely Ruins A Good Burger For Them
Most people love a good burger, and many, many American restaurants serve them, but not all burgers are created equal.
Super tall burgers that are hard to eat, way too much sauce (or only a tiny bit of sauce on the middle of the bun), soggy lettuce — there are lots of ways to ruin a burger.
Redditor TheKeyMaster365 asked:
"What Instantly Ruins A Burger For You?"
Bad Tomatoes
"Nothing kills a burger faster than a bad tomato"
- EccentricEngineer
"Tomato can be okay if you're eating it right now but tomato on it togo burger or sandwich almost always makes the bread soggy."
- sploittastic
"I don't object to the taste of tomato in a burger, but I despise the actual tomatoes themselves. They're too slippery, so they always end up squeezing out and, somehow, falling on anything except the plate."
- AmazingSpacePelican
"When the tomato has that hard area in the middle (the core I guess?). Gross."
- breadfan1988
Lack of Structural Integrity
"Poor construction. When it flies out the other end. Stick everything together with a blob of sauce."
- IAmStevie420
"Too much sauce can make the bun disintegrate and it becomes a soggy mess."
- caligaris_cabinet
"You’ve identified an important problem but I’m not sure about the effectiveness of the proposed solution"
- aspannerdarkly
Too Much Sauce
"I do enjoy sauces on a burger, but to a point. If I end up having to hold a soggy mess, I'm not going to enjoy the burger nearly as much."
"Also tall burgers. The two also go together to make an awful burger experience"
- krispyboiz
"If I have to wipe/clean my hands after every bite, it is an unpleasant experience."
- meatpipeline
"I hate it when the first bite launches a glob of sauce out the other end."
- Mataraiki
"I feel the same way and thought I was in the minority. If I pick up a burger, take a bite, and immediately need 4-5 napkins, it's not worth it."
- CrochetyNurse
Old Lettuce
"Watery old lettuce. One time I got a burger with terrible lettuce.. it tasted like it came straight out of a lake.. from then I avoid that place saying 'they have lake lettuce.'"
- heckpants
"Limp, watery, garbage lettuce ruins so many things. If you can't get quality lettuce, please leave it off! Restaurants sneak it on without putting it on the menu and you can't just take it off because the wateriness has already soaked into everything else."
- fraud_imposter
Hard-boiled Egg
"I once ordered a breakfast burger that was advertised as having, among other toppings, 'egg.' I imagine a nice fried egg or at least a scrambled egg patty of sorts. No, the monstrosity that came out had a quartered, hard-boiled egg on it. Just terrible - what self-respecting chef would serve that?"
- jokinglyserious1
"Filing this under 'things that feel illegal'"
- theonelittledid
"As someone in the industry, a breakfast lover, and a burger lover, this is honestly one of the most offensive things I've seen on reddit."
- Starscream5
Runaway Patty
"When the patty slips out the other side."
- F35LTNG
"This is a corollary to the massive height complaint. Make a burger wide, not tall, and it won't slip out."
- soulcaptain
"PSA: The toothpick on top of your burger is not for decoration, but they are a functional tool to prevent the contents to fall out."
- moxedana02
Humans Can't Unhinge Their Jaws
"Being too big to fit in your mouth. Pointless. Might as well just throw it all on a plate, and call it 'deconstructed burger'"
- gallows4p0werm0ds
"Yeah, make burgers wider not taller."
- PPLifter
"If I gotta unhinge my jaw like a snake to eat something, I'm not ordering it. It's incredibly annoying and a lot of work. A burger should be a hand held food. If I need a knife and fork, what's the point?"
- megaloduh
"I’ve had a few burgers in my time where I have actually just taken it apart and put it on my plate to slowly eat. It is frustrating."
- TL3490
Soggy Buns
"Wet untoasted bun"
- Ruminations0
"Nothing worse than taking a bite of a soggy bun. Also the reason why I don’t like tomatoes in my burger"
- Pelagius_Hipbone
"Looking at you, Five Guys. $20 burger and it's not even toasted. They tell me it is, but why is it a soggy mess only a couple minutes after it was made?"
"Untoasted bread is acceptable, just a matter of choice. Now, a burger where bread is all soggy because there's tomato or wet lettuce touching it is almost a negligence by the person who made it."
- HYPERNOVA3_
Too Much Conversation
"People that want to talk while I'm eating a burger."
- BlowFrog303
"And then gets mad when you don't respond... Like can't you see I'm chewing?!.."
- IdkTheMeaningOfLife
"I have a mate who, whenever we go for a burger, all of a sudden feels the need to start asking me all these questions about my personal life as soon as I start eating:"
"'What your dad up to at the moment?'"
"'Have you been to your brother's house lately?'"
"'What sort of stuff has your mum been doing since she retired?'"
"'Is your brother still in touch with his ex?'"
"I'm one of those people who sort of gets into a zone while eating so firing a load of questions at me very much kills the 'vibe' I'm on!"
- thisishardcore_
My Wallet Hurts
"When they cost $20+"
- cuttingwoodisfun
"Yeah, I’m fine paying $20 if it’s something good. Bison burger for $18? F*ck yeah! Even just something like local grass fed beef. F*ck yeah!"
- UnbrandedContent
"I went to a burger place by me once, got a burger, loaded fries, and one beer. It wasn’t a sit down place, you order at the counter like it’s fast food but they give you a number to take and they bring your food to the table."
"It was $40. There’s a reason I only went once, and the burger was good but not $40 good."
- Old-Sor
"That does certainly make a burger, no matter how delicious, unappetizing 😵💫"
- TheKeyMaster365
Burgers Are Supposed To Be Boneless
"Bits of bone! I regularly bite down on these at Camino. I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt and tried again multiple times but I haven’t been back in a while because of it."
"This a the real answer. A chunk of bone will ruin your trust in burgers for a very long time."
- HubertFiorentini
"Wow! This brought back some repressed trauma. I bit into a burger over 20 years ago, and it had a bone chip in it. Biting into that (not expecting it) caused my tooth to crack. That tooth later became impacted and lead to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. That was the worst burger by a long shot."
- rejectedstone
Why Is There So Much Bread?
"A dry bun or too much bun."
- mazlux
"100% … Bun to meat to topping ratio is paramount."
- djdaddyb
"Brioche. Brioche is a terrible choice for a burger bun and I don't understand why everyone is using it these days. Brioche is basically bread make with low-protein flour and lots of eggs."
"Also known as: CAKE, just drier and without any of the chew and texture of a properly made bread roll. Brioche sucks ass and that trend needs to die."
- RockleyBob
Cheese Should Be Melty
"Unmelted cheese - imagine taking your first bite and everything is warm and fresh, then your teeth hit a f*cking ice block."
- miraclechu
"this is why I dislike cheeseburgers. I avoid cheese on mine. and people think I’m f*cking weird."
- Synner40
Unwanted Toppings
"Pickles when I asked for no pickles."
- FrumundaMabawls
"And you can’t just pick em off. The whole fu*kin burger is contaminated if a pickle touches it."
- pyroboy101
"Same thing with mustard. No ... you can't just scrape it off."
- Beard_o_Bees
Making a good burger doesn't seem like it would be very hard, but there's a lot of ways things can go very wrong.
Now it's your turn. What absolutely ruins a burger for you? Let us know in the comments below.
We've all had experiences which left us sad or despondent.
A friend moving away, the loss of a pet, missing out on a promotion.
While these experiences often result in our feeling the need to drown out our feelings in some capacity, we know deep down that we'll eventually bounce back.
Some experiences, however, take a bit longer to recover from, if we manage to recover from them at all.
The sort of experiences which, for lack of a better term, break us.
"What’s something that mentally and/or emotionally broke you?"
The Death Of A Spouse
"My wife's death."
"We both knew her cancer was terminal from the beginning, and I had seven years to make my peace with that."
"As the end neared, I assured everyone I'd be fine."
"Despite all that, seeing her stop breathing was a total shock to me."
"And I even knew she'd die that very night."
"When you've been with dying people, you can tell when it's their last day."
"It's been six years, and I'm still grieving her."- jefuchs
A Child With Substance Abuse Problems
"My oldest son became addicted to opioids and ODed in our home 4 times."
"The first time our youngest found him from the death rattle sounds. I'll never forget giving him CPR."
"I'll never forget an OD that put him in the ICU, non responsive with a breathing tube due to heart atrophy."
"He is 2 years now sober with clinic MAT help and his own tenacity."
"We are all scarred for his time in active addiction but time is letting this wound heal."- level 1pnutbutta4me
Death Of A Grandparent
"I could honestly give a lot of things that have f*cked me up, but I’ve bounced back from most of them."
"The one thing that broke me entirely last year was the death of my grandfather."
"He’d had a stroke around April 2021."
"April 1st, 2022 he had to be rushed to the hospital."
"I dropped everything to go see him."
"I’d been pretty close with him growing up."
"My grandparents raised me and my sister and he and I used to go to Gettysburg together a lot."
"He was in the hospital all of April, with declining health."
"We would visit all the time."
"He developed sepsis, and we wanted to move him to hospice, but by the end of the month even moving him would probably kill him."
"April 28th, it was my first week at a new job and my aunt texted that we should all hurry over to the hospital because they didn’t think there was much time."
"I left work and stayed at the hospital with my family all day."
"The nurses let us break Covid protocol and all stay in the room as long as we were quiet."
"We all had gowns, masks, and gloves anyway because he had sepsis."
"At that point, he was practically in a coma."
"We thought he would pass that day but he didn’t, and when it came time for me to leave I knew it would be the last time I’d see him alive."
"I sobbed so much I almost threw up, and it was almost impossible to drag me out."
"The next day, he was gone."
"The following week was the funeral and viewing."
"The viewing broke me too."
"I cried so much those days, especially when we had to close the casket for the funeral."
"We all left little things for him to be buried with."
"Cherry chapstick, Guinness, and a little alligator plush I’d brought."
"I have the matching one."
"He always used to say, 'See you later, alligator' and I would say, 'After a while crocodile'.”
"So now I always tell him 'See you later, alligator' at his grave, as that’s what I told him before he died, and before they buried him."
"April 29th this year will mark the first full year he’s been gone."
"I’ve never handled death well, so it still hurts a lot."
"But he was in so much pain, and I know he went peacefully and he’s not suffering anymore."
"He believed in Heaven, and that’s where I hope he is."- Appropriate-Fox2381
Death Of A Parent
"Hearing my mom ask if it was going to hurt to die."
"Few mins later she took her last breath."
"Squeezed my hand and a slow release."
"Am I okay?"
"Nah."
"A year and a half later I’m still not."- Mysterious_Window575
"I was in therapy and was nervous about my child’s upcoming birthday party because of serious anxiety issues."
"She told me to imagine the worst thing happening and when the party is over I would realize everything was ok."
"Day of birthday party I received an out of state call from a coroner."
"My mom was found dead in her apartment."
"An investigation occurred but it was determined she had a diabetic episode, hit her head on the kitchen counter, bled out and died."
"An hour later my friend arrived, hysterically crying indicating she just got a call HER mom died."
"I was numb and broken."
"Life has never been the same since."- EverywhereINowhere
Finding Someone Died
"When I found my fiancé dead on the ground after I came home from work."
"I was 22 at the time and it broke me in all the ways."- caramelcoldbrew·
"Finding my twin brother dead."- No-Contribution-469
Illness In The Family
"Having a mother with schizophrenia."
"Such a tough illness for someone to experience, and tough on a family."- Eeahsnp18
When The Child Becomes The Parent
"Filing my dad's bankruptcy, getting him diagnosed for early onset alzheimer's/dementia, and being his primary caregiver."
"It completely reverses the father/son role in a way I was not prepared for."
"Better now, but still is heartbreaking."- Snoogles150
Misdiagnosis
"I was misdiagnosed for 2 years."
"Told I had anorexia when really I had Crohn's disease."
"It got to the point where my bowel ruptured and I was very, very close to death."
"2 years of being told this very, VERY physical pain was all in my head has caused endless knock on affects."
"I remember just laying there as the paramedics couldn't find much of a pulse and thinking 'I'm dying but at least I was right' which is all kinds of f*cked up."- goosedrinkwine369
Love Cut Short
"My fiancée died the day after we got engaged."
"She was fine, then sick, then gone in less than 24 hours."
"She died of meningitis."
"We spent an awesome day together while she was back in town from college and I asked her that afternoon."
"Later, she said her legs were going numb and her back hurt."
"We went to the hospital because they had just had a whole presentation about the symptoms of meningitis at her school."
"The doctor did some tests and said everything was negative l, so they sent us home."
"We went to bed thinking everything would be fine."
"I woke up sometime around 2am and looked at her."
"She was covered in sweat and turning blue so I picked her up and carried her to the car."
"We hauled @ss back to the ER, but she stopped breathing before we got there and didn’t regain consciousness again."
"At least I was holding her hand the whole way."
"The doctor did say they got her heart started a couple of times, but all of her organs failed, and her body completely shut down so they had to call it."
"Later, they asked if I wanted the ring."
"But they said they had to cut it off because her body had swollen so much."
"I told them to keep it because I wouldn’t have been able to handle what it meant if it was in one piece."
"I’m as alright as I get."
"Lately I’ve been thinking about our first days more than the last one."
"It’s hard to tell if that makes it better or worse, though."
"Relationships are hard."
"Anytime things get too good; there’s a compulsion to pull away for self-preservation."
"There’s no making it through of another round of that."-
fronkenstoon·
Some experiences are so painful that the very thought of moving on seems impossible.
Next time you find yourself struggling to get out of bed, however, always know that even if you have trouble finding the words, there are always people eager and willing to listen.
Flirting is always a delicate balance.
While an obvious way to get someone's attention, and let them know they find them attractive and (hopefully), are interested in dating them, it's not always appreciated.
As some people find flirting to be little more than thinly veiled sexual harassment, particularly when intentions are less than honorable.
Flirting is an even more dangerous game when in the office.
While some people flirt with colleagues for little more than harmless fun, others take flirting in the workspace much more seriously.
Whether they're the ones doing the flirting, or the ones being flirted to.
"What's your opinion on flirting with / hitting on co-workers at work?"
Avoid In Office... Free Reign Outside
"I dated a coworker."
"We were not flirty or anything at work (it was a very professional/corporate place) but we went out to lunch together most days."
"We actually started off working in separate offices across the country but went to business events almost monthly and hung out."
"We only worked together a few years but have been married going on 28 years."- ncconch
Just Remember, No Means No...
If you socialize with them outside of work, that's the right time to flirt. And if they tell you no, then make sure you forget all about them before you come in to work the next day.- Metal-Dog
Just Don't
"That can go south quickly and cause a lot of issues."- Material_Joke1324
Season 3 Flirting GIF by The OfficeGiphyAs long As It's Done With Care And Good Intentions
"20% of married couples meet at work."
"Can’t really get away from that."
"That’s why most companies train to distinguish between sexual harassment and flirting, which is totally allowed if it is done in a non-harassing way."
"I dated a coworker."
'I’m female and he’s male."
"Same department, same titles."
"I started flirting on messenger first."
"We dated for 3 years and were always professional at work."
"We 'came out' after one year, shocking everyone."
"Coworkers were very supportive."
"After 3 years we broke up amicably and worked together with no drama or issues."
'I understand that this is probably an outlier but it does happen."- typical_friday
season 8 jim and pam GIFGiphyJust Be Open To All Possibilities
"I admitted to a co-worker I had a huge crush on that I liked her on a staff night out."
"She didn’t reciprocate those feelings."
"She dealt with it really well at work but it absolutely ripped my heart out and made seeing her every day very difficult."
"It’s a real gamble, could work out for you as it has a few people in this thread but I’d never do it again."- knopparp
"Anything that could lead to you f*cking your coworkers is a risky move."
"Source: spent several years as a 'f*cks her coworkers' girlie."- glittertits09
What You Do On Your Own Time...
"F*ck it! "
"Do it on the boss's desk."
"Leave a souvenir."- justimus_maximus
excited episode 4 GIFGiphyToo Big A Risk To Be Worth It...
"You're playing with firecrackers, while checking the gas line."
"Because, you're not sure your oven is working."- K_Odena
As The Saying Goes...
"Don’t dip your pen in the company ink."- Agreeable_Stick_6484
"Never dip your pen in the company ink, as they say."
"If things go south, it can cause a lot of problems in the workplace."
"You don't want to be working with a vindictive ex, or have any kinds of personal issues with someone you have to work with regularly that might affect your work output."
"Plus, you run a very serious risk of losing your job due to sexual harassment, or fraternization rules."- SweetCosmicPope
renee zellweger comedy GIF by Bridget JonesGiphyWhat Will Other's Say?
"It’s fun, but I’ve been getting weird looks at the family business."- GroundbreakingFox833
Stay Away From Prying Eyes...
"If it's reciprocal, go for it."
"Just probably don't do it with other people around."
"Some people here are overreacting."- AReformedHuman
Just Be Careful, And Know Your Place
"Everyone here is overreacting."
"Don’t be a creep or a weirdo and also don’t presume to know somebody just because you work at the same place."
"The same rules that apply everywhere."
"But also don’t try and get with inferiors or superiors."
"Other than that go for it."- Pepsplayed
When at work, it's a generally acknowledged rule of thumb to always be on your best behavior.
So if you think flirting might get you into trouble, probably best to avoid it.
We want to believe the world is a good place, and it can be. However, there are still those who seek to deceive us.
They prey on the innocent and naïve and run scams that take advantage of us and our assets.
Some of these scams are as old as time itself, and most people have wised up. They can recognize the tricks and protect themselves. However, every now and then, someone still falls for one of those stupid scams.
Redditors identified some of these scams and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor MrTenBelow-1 asked:
"what's a scam so stupid yet people keep falling for?"
Gift Card For Bills
"People who fall for phone scammers telling them they can pay an overdue utility bill in Apple gift cards. WTF?"
– AdmiralBofa
"My client got taken for 40k in gift cards and a bit coin machine scam over the course of 2.5 days. The bank held her and begged her not to leave because they thought she was in danger but the scammer told her to tell them she has a right to her money and they gave up. They never called her husband which would have helped. The second Kroger refused to sell her the gift cards and told her they would call the cops and called her credit card company to tell them to close the card. Kroger was the hero in this situation. It helped snap her out of it but most of the money was gone."
"Talk to your older relatives. This is so common."
– pamidawashername
Bail Them Out
"As a teller manager, I have had a few elderly people who actually believe their grandkids are in jail, and need to take out 20k out of their accounts in cash, in order to bail them out."
"Literally tell them they are falling for a scam, and to call their grandkids in front of me. Of course the kid then answers."
"Their hearts are in the right place, but they need to think before they take large amounts like that, but also if they gave the scammers their personal addresses."
– Nouls
"Thank you for looking out for them! My grandma’s attempt to bail me out of jail with target gift cards was foiled by a kind bank teller like you. My grandma doesn’t have a cell phone so she called the police and me from the bank to make sure everything got sorted."
– gingersnap9210
Money, Money, Money
"Any get rich quick subscription program. The actual get rich scheme is launching a subscription program for a get rich scheme."
– Kretuhtuh
"Subscribe to my courses to learn how to get rich quick. I'm only offering this because I don't want to use my tricks to get rich quick and want to share it with you instead."
– eggtart_prince
Love = Money
"Sending ppl on dating apps money"
– marvelwonderwoman
"While I've never been scammed, they've made attempts on me while I was on dating apps. It's easy to spot when they're attempting to scam you, like using some Instagram model's photos on their profile, or they try to get you to move to another app like skype or WhatsApp. But some guys don't think with the head on their shoulders and lose hundreds to probably a guy in Nigeria."
– draiman
The Future Is No Mystery
"Psychic hotlines"
– fonduktoe
"Or, any psychic really. Storytime: in NYC a few years ago, I walked by one of those storefront psychics as the proprietor yelled out to her husband, “But I can’t find my keys!” Not great advertising."
– moltenlavashake
How Romantic
"My coworker who was widowed three years ago met a man online and has been speaking with him for over a year. He says he has an apartment in an upscale neighborhood of the nearby city. They haven't met in person yet because he is building a bridge in Dubai. He was going to come home for Christmas but the flights were very expensive."
"I am 95% sure this is a romance scam."
– elusivemoniker
"He’s building a bridge in Dubai😂😂😂😂😂"
– Jellyb3anz
Don't Have Wheels
"I'm calling about your cars extended warranty..."
– WhoaSpoders
"Man I was getting those calls before I even owned a car"
– justaguyonreddit02
"Okay, I'm not proud of this, but I nearly got screwed by an extended warranty call."
"I had just bought a used electric car out of state. And even though I've never done this before I bought an extended warranty from the used car dealership because it covered the batteries."
"While I was waiting for delivery I got a letter from what I thought was the warranty company. I was getting a lot of paperwork so it didn't look out of place. It said to give them a call so I could finalize the warranty information."
"I called the number and they asked questions like mileage, trim package, etc. And after all that they said because of a change in their policy I could save $50.00 a month if I made the first payment before close of business Friday."
"The only reason they didn't get my credit card number is because I asked them why I needed to make monthly payments for something I paid in full on my loan. That's when the discussion started sounding fishy (phishy) after a few more attempts to convince me to pay I just hung up on them, and called the dealership."
"What's crazy is that the company is a legitimate extended warranty company. They just have shady business practices."
– could_use_a_snack
Sell, Sell, Buy!
"Pyramid schemes. For the life of me I can’t fathom how people think they’ll get rich selling stupid sh*t like oils or wax"
– AkuraPiety
"A family friend sells one of the kitchen things as an MLM and is always boasting about going on cruises and stuff... Of course she leaves out the part where she has to park on her driveway because her garage is literally floor to ceiling, wall to wall with boxes of unopened merch. She isn't getting rewarded for her sales, she's getting rewarded for her purchases."
"She cooked some kind of dip for us in a microwave to show off a product. It tasted like I imagine a dead cow's milky an*s tastes."
– WillemDafoesHugeCock
Heal The Virus
"“Hello, this is John White. I am calling from Windows Technical Support. We have received notification that there are many errors on your computer, and that it may have a virus.”"
– MasterAinley
"My friends mother kept a guy like this on the phone for 20minutes, did everything he told her and was so greatful the nice Windows man was trying to fix her computer. Then eventually asked him "Oh, was my computer meant to be switched on?""
– anderoogigwhore
Please Hang Up!
"My MIL almost fell for this."
"My wife got a call from her father about something completely unrelated and as they're talking, he says that her mom is on the phone with Microsoft. I overhear this. I've listened to my IT friends talk about how getting MS on the phone is a huge pain in the a*s, so I'm immediately wondering what is going on.""My wife prods a little and finds out that they called her. Immediately, I'm saying over and over again "Tell her to hang up. Hang up HANG UP""
"Her MIL is...well, she's an older Jewish lady who is allergic to silence. FIL is a very typical older Jewish man..."
"FIL tells her "The kids are saying you should hang up, they say it's a scam.""
"MIL says on the phone to the "representative": "My kids are telling me this is a scam, are you trying to scam me?""
"The fake rep says "Of course not, you know me, why would I do that""
"MIL: "He says it's not a scam.""
"FIL: "She says it's not a scam.""
"My wife: It scam."
"Me: HANG UP HANG UP HANG UP"
"FIL to MIL: They're tellin me you should hang up."
"MIL to FIL: Do you know where the checkbook is?""
"Wife: OMG TAKE THE PHONE FROM HER AND HANG IT UP"
"Me: Why is she not HANGING UP?"
"FIL to my wife: I think I might have to call you back, your mother can't find the checkbook"
"Wife, now screaming: SHE IS BEING SCAMMED"
"MIL, to the rep: Hold on, I think I need to talk to my daughter, can I call you back?"
"Rep: Sure, but if we could process payment..."
"FIL: I think you better tell him to call back later"
"MIL: That's what I told him [to the rep] I need to call you back hun"
"Wife: I am begging you dad, take the phone from her"
"Me: [screams]"
"MIL to the rep: No, that's not a good time, we'll be eating dinner"
"Me: I'm driving over there."
"And that's what I did."
"She hadn't given him any payment information thankfully, but she had scheduled a call with him later. I blocked the number and told her not to answer any other unknown numbers. I had to show her several articles proving this is a scam and she STILL said "Well ya nevah know, and I don't want any virus on my computer""
– Daddict
The Truth About Social
"Facebook is going to change its algorithm by you copying and pasting a post"
– mamaj747
"Literally yesterday I saw one of those dumba** "I do not give FB permission to blah, blah, blah...""
"Yes, honey, you already did when you signed up and every time you accepted their new terms of service. Buried in the fine print you entirely gave them permission."
– Cinemaphreak
Thin Out
"Those “lose 15 pounds in 5 days” type diets in supermarket tabloids"
– AssociateGeneral4275
"Dude it works, I lost 20 pounds in 10 days. The diet is called a very aggressive stomach flu. You can’t keep anything down and you sh*t your brains out."
– Omegaprimus
Steer clear of all of these!
Do you have any popular scams to add? Let us know in the comments below.