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Lifeguards Share The Weirdest Things They've Seen Swimmers Do

Not everyone is meant for the water. Certain people should just stay far away from a public pool- they're already germy and full of screaming children. The best solution would just be to get their own pool. Or a kiddie pool. Or just a bathtub. Whatever it is, stay away from the community pool.

Reddit user alipoop asked:

Lifeguards of Reddit, what's the weirdest thing you've seen someone do in the water?


Are you serious?

"We once had a man come into our pool for lane swim."

"He had all the latest gear, brand new suit, cap and goggles."

"He got to the edge of the deck and did some arm circles, adjusted his goggles and dove into the pool."

"He popped up for a few seconds then promptly started flailing and gasping for breath."

"A colleague jumped in and pulled him out immediately."

"We were all really confused until he told us he had never swam before and he thought it came naturally."- shann-tastic

Some people will do anything for attention.

"Fake drowning by a woman who admitted that she wanted my attention. I wanted to drown her."- Mentalfloss1

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You know you can buy oxygen, right?

"A lady once had an asthma attack so we put her on the oxygen only to find out that her oxy saturation levels were at 100%, turns out she just wanted an oxygen high."- ohshitaratoohhhshit

Thank goodness she had that life jacket.

"Life guarding was my first job when I was 16."

"I watched a little girl around 9-10 years of age dive head first, with a life jacket on, into a kitty pool of about 6 inches."

"Needless to say, she smoked her dome and I had to patch up a little cut on her forehead."- plain_ass_username

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We love a witty lifeguard.

"Couple having sex in the water."

"Not as fun as you would think though."

"There's lots of kids around."

"We'd yell that 'this is a family facility, not a family making facility' and they'd always stop."- fellowneighbour

Somehow so smart yet so dumb.

"On the hottest day of the year when we were short on guards, we paid a guy 5 bucks to s**t in the pool so we could clear it for an hour to clean."- jackaloper92

Kids today and their anarchy.

"I worked 3 years as a lifeguard for my local community center."

"Our place was somewhat unique as we both had an indoor pool and water park, complete with water slide and other such things."

"There were also containers filled with pool toys and other things like life preservers, life vests, and kick boards."

"One day, while I was on break, my supervisor comes running into the break room and tells all of us (there were three of us on break) to come help control a situation in the water park area."

"Apparently, one of the summer camps' kids had rallied enough kids together and coordinated them into constructing makeshift rafts with all the pool equipment."

"By the time we made it out on deck, they had already made a motley fleet of boats pieced together with pool noodles, life jackets, and other floating toys."

"The issue however was not that they had Macgyvered this little fleet, but how the camp had split into factions and begun an all-out naval engagement in the pool."

"Pool noodles were now being used as makeshift water cannons, and things only escalated from there."

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"Some of the kids had broken into our supply closet and found our stash of other water toys, super soakers, water balloons, etc., and came whooping out onto the deck."

"A few of the kids made armor out of the kick boards and vests and were wielding the buoys we use for water aerobics like clubs."

"Others had taken the water balloons to the top of the water slide and were lobbing them off in some crude bid for air superiority."

"This one girl had taken her camp shirt and tied it to a pool skimmer, waving it like a flag and yelling 'FOR THE KING! FOR THE KING!'

"It took thirty minutes to regain control of the situation, in which time one of the guards required stitches due to being pistol whipped with a water gun by an overzealous 11 year old."

"We never did invite that camp back."- RorschachtheMighty

The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

The world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...

The cycle begins.

"I once watched as another guard jumped in then performed a front active rescue."

"As she pulled the victim up he threw up all over her."

"Leading her to throw up all over him."

"And then back and forth."

"Causing both of them to start drowning."

"Then I jumped in from the other side did a rear active rescue on my own coworker as another guard saved the original victim."

"Awkward day..."- joepbrett

That can't be comfortable.

"I was a lifeguard at a camp, and this Pentecostal church came to stay, about 500 of them."

"Even in the pool, the boys would wear slacks and a belt."

"No shirt, but they'd be wearing their tan slacks, and brown belt."

"Blew my mind."- BryceGlass

Not that hunky.

"Was a lifeguard at an indoor apartment pool."

"One lady was mostly paralyzed on one side."

"She also could not swim in deep water."

"So, lady would do laps in the shallow end, but because of the paralysis, would end up swimming into the deep end where she would promptly panic."

"She did this over and over and over."

Probably these days, twenty years later, I would ban her from the pool."

"But I was a teenager at the time who certainly did not want to make any waves, so I ended up making literal waves regularly to save her."

"I would suggest that she liked being saved by the hunky lifeguard to deliberately drown herself so regularly, but I'm not that hunky."- Knave7575

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Vomit worthy.

"I worked at a college pool so we had a standard Olympic sized high dive."

" I had to tell a kid that was at least 11-12 yrs old not sit under the board and drink the water falling off the people about to jump."

"I can't imagine how much a**/foot/b*lls water that kid ingested."

"It was sick."- flamingbirdsonfire69

Are you sure that wasn't a rabbit in a bikini?

"Not really in the water technically but still a head scratcher."

"Used to work at a very high end gym back in college."

"You could pay annually ~$1000 or monthly to the tune of about $120."

"Had a regular who would come in late afternoons every sat and sun to our outdoor pool."

"This lady was absolutely stunning."

"Maybe early 30's and the physique of a super model."

"Always wore a super tight purple bikini and lounged out on the stone wall encompassing the hot tub."

"Never actually in the hot tub but would lie on her back along the wall."

"Made it really hard as a 20 year old male lifeguard to concentrate on the people in the water.'

"Thank god for sunglasses."

"It was also hard to remain focused on the other patrons as this lady would proceed to then one-by-one pick the leaves off the shrub next to the wall, eat them, and hold a conversation with herself while staring into the sky."

"As the leaves would start to dwindle on that particular shrub over the course of the week, she'd move farther along down the wall and start on the next one."

"This continued every summer for about 2 years until I left for the military."

"Wherever you are lady, I hope you're doing well outside of your career calling as a deer or rabbit."

"There was also the man who got pissed when we closed the waterslide for the night so he went over to the children's wading section, took a big dump, and ran, fleeing out the side gates."

"Jokes on you buddy, we got to shut down for the day and got paid to f*ck around on my phone in the guard office."- S-S-Stumbles

No bricks allowed.

"Late to the party but I was a lifeguard for about 6 years."

"About half of my job was telling people, "as a reminder, please do not throw any of the rocks, sand or seaweed at the beach (it's crowded are you serious?!)"

"This one guy shouts back, 'can I throw bricks?'"

"My out-loud response was to ask if he had any bricks on him at the moment."

"He insisted he didn't have any on him, but could go out to his truck and get a bunch."

"I responded into the megaphone, 'as a reminder, please do not throw any of the rocks, sand, seaweed or bricks at the beac'".

'We both yucked it up a bit and went back to our respective lives'."- MrOwlsManyLicks

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Father-son bonding.

"Worked as an open water lifeguard last year, and worked on a 100m long inflatable assault course."

"Throughout the hottest parts of the summer, seaweed would often be found along the edges and safety straps, the course was made out of multiple inflatable obstacles fastened together, and it was our job every morning to clean this."

"Sometimes spots were missed, as we had about 30 minutes for just one of us, the task ran on a rota, so a different person did it each day, to clean the entire park."

"Halfway through one day, a dad and his son find a strap covered in seaweed and jellyfish eggs."

"Usually people recoil and stay away upon touching the stuff, but instead these two pull the seaweed and eggs off the strap and throw it back and forth at each other for about half an hour."

"Was weird to watch, and kinda disgusting."- marcus__lfc

Literally seeing Red!

"A woman was dying her hair in the hot tub! "

'Everything was red.'

The stories are endless

"I see a whole lot at my resort park.'

"Guests wearing masks above their noses, letting the water in, doing god knows WHAT kinds of strokes."

"Dead man floating etc."

"The one thing that is probably the most common weird thing though, is little kids, 5-10 carrying multiple heavy rocks down our realistically decorated river."

"So they're sputtering and kicking hard and I just look at them."

"'Hey bud/sweety, just...drop the rocks?'"

"They look at me like I've threatened to take away their pet."- ClydeLeArtiste

Art Photoshop GIFGiphy

Leaving his mark...

"Not strictly pool-related, but part of lifeguard duties was to clean the changing rooms at my pool."

"Anyway, we had an 8-ish-year-old kid, who we were pretty sure was a serial sh*tter."

"Every time he and his family went for a swim, there would be a sh*t left for us in the showers."

"Happened 2 or 3 times before we didn't see them again."

"Don't want to imagine what he's allowed to do at home if that's what he does in public..."

Well, that's one way of doing it.

"A bit late but this only happened today."

"Mum, prob 40s, is taking [a child], 10 for a swim."

"Nothing seems suspect, just the usual mucking around."

"Wouldn't have paid them anymore attention than the rest of the public when the kid comes running out the pool."

"First no-no, but too far away to do anything about it so I just watch."

"Kid runs up to the fountain to grab a drink."

"Normal until he doesn't swallow."

"This kid walks his ass back to the pool mouth still full of water and baby bird style feeds his mum the water so she can have a drink."

"Like I've seen some weird shit working at the pool but I've never been so weirded out."- barnacle_soap

Not cut out for the job

"As a lifeguard you are required to have 4 hours of training each month, at least where I worked you were."

"During one of these training sessions, I was the one that was chosen to be on stand."

"While I was, I saw a new guard grabbing onto one of the supervisors necks and trying to stay afloat."

"I never saw that new guard again."

"I guess they couldn't swim, and I got yelled out for not jumping."- eric12343

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They could talk the talk...

"I use to be a lifeguard at a boy scout summer camp in Hawaii and it was the first day of camp which is the swim test to see who can and cannot swim."

" I have this kid walking with me and him telling me 'oh I am on a swim team' and other stuff."

"We reach the deep end and I tell him to jump in and start swimming."

"He jumps and sinks straight to the bottom."

"I am about to jump in and get him but he breaches the water and I reach the rescue tube out to him and pull hm out of the water."

"I later find out that he is in the learn to swim class."

"I guess he thought swimming was gonna be easy."- PeekClamBeDyslexic

Stories both sweet and sour

​"I'm a lifeguard at three neighborhood pools."

"I haven’t seen anything particularly shocking, but my boss shared a few of her stories with me."

"A man named James is banned from the pool for 'flashing his peepee'."

"Most recently, a person who has yet to be caught took the biggest crap in the women’s restroom."

"It was not in fact in to toilet. "

"They had decided to walk past the stalls and take a massive dump in front of the sink."


"This one I actually saw."

" A literally girl and her mom and dad come into the pool."

"I am on stand and don’t pay particular attention to them until our of the corner of my eye I see this 10-13ish girl hobbling into the pool with a sparkling mermaid tail."

"I kinda felt bad for her because this huge group of teenagers stopped in their tracks to stare at her as she proceeded to wiggle through the water."

"I was so scared that i would have to jump in and save this girl because her legs are basically bound together and swimming became extremely tiring and difficult."

"Her mom looked so proud of her and was yelling at her husband, who was visually embarrassed, to take pictures."- A-Subconcious-Memory

In and out

'One time, as I was maybe 30 minutes from closing a pool, man came into the pool area."

"My first thought was 'oh no, I'm gonna close late today', but instead of swimming laps like most people, the guy jumped into the pool, sat on the bottom against the wall for maybe 30 seconds, and then left."

"Didn't even swim a little."- -_Pancake_-

Chilling Pool Party GIF by GIPHY CAMGiphy

What does he get up to in private?

"When I was a lifeguard, there was this one guy I worked with."

"He was a fairly nice dude; kinda nerdy."

"Was a camp counselor, made us all listen to Glee covers of top 40 hits while we lifeguarded with him."

"But when things were slow or he was on a break, etc., me and my friend I worked with noticed he left a tab open on one of the office computers."

"The office is on the pool deck so you can sit at the desks and also look out at the pool."

"And it was videos of these sexy girls speaking ASMR telling stories or just talking."

"They weren’t pornographic, but it was just so weird cause it was definitely low-key erotic and he was just watching them on a public computer at work."

"Definitely started noticing his creepy vibes more after that."- lavendermilktea

Next time, maybe we'll just dip out toes in the water or stay on dry land.

People Reveal Whether They Let Their Dog Sleep On Their Bed Or Not

Reddit user Piggythelavasurfer asked: 'Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?'

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap DierenartsenGiphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPostGiphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...


Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & GraceGiphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading...Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.