Dorms are your transitionary space between real life and life with your parents.
Once you get a taste of living on your own, you can't get enough. But as such, you need to create your own space, make your own rules, and set your own boundaries.
You're not quite equipped with all those skills straight away, and it takes time to learn them.
u/Thingamajig_dingus asked:
What are some life lessons you get from living in dorms?
Here were some of the answers.
Me Time
I'm a very introverted person, but I think anyone can relate to this — You don't really miss alone time until you can't get any. No matter how well you get along with your roommate, there are times when you just want some personal space and somewhere that's just -yours- to escape to. I was lucky enough to have a car for the last semester of on-campus living, and would routinely go for drives alone to get some space (rural college). If I didn't have that, I might have gone insane.
Grossfest
Some parents never actually teach their children how to live like healthy humans. Some people have never cleaned a room (or never done it without being made to), have never done laundry, never cooked a meal or paid a bill. Some of them stop bathing entirely, despite pleading roommates and neighbors dealing with someone who's stench permeates everything they own and seeps through the walls and can be smelled in the room across the hall.
Foot Protection
Open your window and really listen to the Chinese grad student who happens to be an exceptionally good whistler as he crosses the quad. Never again in your life will you hear someone whistle Debussy's Claire de Lune with as much beauty and skill.
And always wear flip-flops in showers that are shared by the entire floor.
A Cohabit By Any Other Name
That cohabiting with anyone will carry a "price of admission." No matter how well you get along, and how much you enjoy living together, your roommate will have certain traits that drive you f*cking insane.
For example, I lived with the same roommate for 3 years of college. He was a great guy--tidy, quiet, friendly, respectful, law abiding. But dude was from a tropical climate. He kept the thermostat maxed out, plus another space heater and a humidifier running 24/7 in the winter. It was like a jungle in our room.
Needless to say, this threatened our domestic tranquility. Freshman year, we fought about it through the entire winter. I'd open a window and snap at him to put on a sweater; he'd whine about his sore throat for days.
At the end of the spring term, we had a heart-to-heart about whether we wanted to sign up to live together next year. And he gave me an ultimatum: we could compromise about anything but the humidity. He just couldn't get comfortable in the dry winter air, and he refused to live in a room that wasn't damp.
After a lot of thought, I agreed. Plenty of people have rooming situations that are outright hostile--they just can't get along with their roommates; or they're living with people who disrespect their space or their stuff or their time. We didn't have that. All we had was a fight over the thermostat. (and it's not like I was perfect--dude contributed way more than his fair share to keeping the place up.)
So that was the "price of admission" for living with Kevin. We bought some tropical plants and a tiger-stripe rug, I wore tank tops and kept a glass of iced tea handy all winter long. And it was fine.
tl;dr: NOBODY IS PERFECT. If the domestic union is working in all other respects, you may have to decide to suck it up and accommodate a couple idiosyncrasies.
Whether it's putting in your earplugs to drown out the K-pop, or picking up a couple diet coke cans that aren't yours, or replacing the toilet paper, sometimes "compromise" really means picking up the slack.
Don't be a pushover (and never tolerate disrespect), but understand that roommates are never 100% compatible.
Open Door, Open Heart
Leave your door (and your mind) open and people will flock to you. I lived in the honors dorm as a freshman, in what we lovingly called "the tower of screaming virgins." Top floor, all-female, everyone on the honors track for something STEMy. Everyone kept their doors shut and the hall was sterile and silent all year. But they told me at orientation to leave my door open if I wanted to make friends, so every day, I'd prop the door open and go about my business. Slowly, people started venturing in to hang out with me or just have a short conversation. I would always welcome it, and when I couldn't take people, I'd just close my door to be left alone. That whole year, I made friends I still talk to (this was 2012-13) because they'd walk in off the stairwell, see my open door, and come in to say hi. Naturally, not everyone stayed; there's always friend-turnover after the dorms. But I had a better time and felt really well-liked and less homesick that way.
I'm not a naturally friendly person and I tend to be standoffish at first, even shy. But I make friends everywhere because I learned in college that you can make the tiniest effort to invite people in and they'll go with both feet.
SO MANY THINGS
I never considered myself a neat freak until I moved into the dorms. My first roommate was so messy, you could see the divide in the room of my side versus hers. She constantly kept buying more stuff. Piles of books and clothes everywhere. I let her borrow my bowl once and it sat dirty on her desk with food in it for days. As a result, I kept my side of the room absolutely spotless otherwise we would have drowned in filth. Funny though come move out day, I was all packed and ready to go, so much so mom and I went shopping and bought some shoes and came back for some more boxes, the parents hadn't even dented the mess that was her side. Mom and I left laughing. I've been keeping things tidy ever since.
It's Like Dating A Co-Star
As much as you can avoid it, don't date on the same floor. I repeat, don't date on the same floor. You will regret if later when you constantly see that person when you two break up.
You Are Gorgeous, You Human
Some people arent suited to living with others.
Some can change and adapt, others will continue living like they did at home where the magical cleaning fairy cleans everything for them.
Relationship Lessons
Your actions have consequences on others. And being in close quarters doesn't let you escape from them easily. In other words, you'll learn a lot of relationship lessons through experience. Some good, many not so good. But the not so good lessons/experiences will hopefully have a better effect on future you in dealing with relationships in your work career.
Fire In The Disco
Was an RA for 3 years. Here's my advice, for the dorms and life.
Don't leave the microwave running unattended.
Make friends with people in other dorms/locations for when there are fire alarms or other emergencies.
Check to make sure you have your keys with you before you leave, even if it's just go to the bathroom down the hall. Everywhere you go, check to make sure you have your wallet, keys, and phone, or whatever would be extremely inconvenient if you lost.
You don't have to be best friends with your roommate. A quiet roommate is better than a fun one that lied about his felony record. Same goes for neighbors, coworkers, and more.
Keep a regular schedule, and share it with your roommate so you don't walk in on each other choking the chicken. Meet your needs, and allow others to meet theirs.
What life lessons did you learn in the dorms?
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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