There's no way of knowing what's coming for us. With all the preparation and planning, our world can still be turned upside down by a dead battery or a runaway train. Nothing is certain, so it's better to be prepared for things to change than to be prepared for what you think might happen. Otherwise, you might miss out on some amazing opportunities, or not know when to turn away from a bad thing.
Let's hear about that today.
Reddit user, u/abayomi02, wanted to know when everything changed when they asked:
Unknowingly Made The Right Call
When I moved and switched middle schools wayyy back I threw out all my stuff except for my math textbook. When I went to my new school the math class I was in was a little bit behind from where I was and I told them but they didn't believe me. But then I showed my old math textbook to show that I was way ahead of that class. Two of my classes were changed, and in both of my new classes we're a bunch of friends I made. If i threw away that math textbook I wouldn't have any good friends right now.
A Symposium To Remember
When I was finishing a program at City College, the students were asked to volunteer at a symposium, checking badges, handing out programs, you know...free labor. We were told to bring resumes, as there were companies there who might be hiring entry level.
I wasn't going to go. My mom told me to go; my friend (also in the program) said she'd give me a ride. So I went. And I talked with a man at one of the booths who was hiring. He asked for my resume and to set an interview.
I began working there the day after I turned 21 and was there 16 years before I got laid off in the aerospace downturn.
I met my husband there. We've been together 33 years.
I would never have met him had I not agreed to go to that symposium.
Actually More Surprised You Remembered The Account Password
I checked an old email account
I was hanging out with a friend one July 4. We didn't have anything to do (too young to drink, too poor for anything else) so we met up with some guy my friend had met at a party. New guy and his friends were nice enough, but loud and goofy. At the end of the night, new guy asked for my mailing address so he could write me a letter. He was headed to a military training where snail mail was the only option. My mailing address was also my home address, and I hadn't really clicked with him, so I gave him an email account that didn't use very often and forgot all about it.
4 months later, I was in a cleaning mood and decided to check this account to clear out spam and whatnot. He had sent an email 2 hours earlier that he was back in town and wanted to grab a coffee.
As you may have guessed, we have been married almost a decade now.
Life Changing In The Weirdest Bad Way
Said "yes" when my now college friends asked if i'm from canada. I'm not. I was just wearing a team canada hockey shirt and I got flustered when they asked. Now they think i'm from Canada, and it's too late to say anything now.
A Lifelong Truth Uncovered
I flunked out of my first school. I imagine if I'd stayed and gotten my degree, my life would have been a lot different. Instead I ended up working for a few years, realizing the value of a degree, and re-starting my life.
It's made me realize that kids shouldn't be forced into college right after high school. Some of them need to work, or travel, or whatever, to figure out for themselves what their path is going to be. 18 is way too young to point a finger at someone and be like "okay now you need to decide the rest of your life."
Everything, And Nothing, Like You Hoped
Went to meet my bio mom. 8 years later, a crippling disorder, brain damage, and some significant trauma later... turns out there was a very good reason I was adopted.
I got to meet my sisters though, and I'm the uncle to a whole herd of nieces and nephews, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Makes the damage worth it, honestly. The way their faces light up when they see me and how loved I feel with them is something you can't ever replace.
Edit: To clarify, I met her 8 years ago. She didn't abuse me for 8 years - she abused me for two, stalked and harassed me for two more, and has been out of my life for four years or so, since I got a restraining order.
Saved By The Scalpel
My wonderful 2 year old daughter was not planned.
But thanks to her, I decided to have a vasectomy. I had always had one slightly enlarged testicle due to a mountain biking accident 10 years prior.
My urologist had it biopsied because it didn't look right.
Turns out I had had testicular cancer for an impossible to determine period of time. Four rounds of chemo later and I'm perfectly fine. Had I not had my daughter, I would have probably had much worse results years later when it finally made it's presence known via pain and had spread into my body.
So my daughter technically saved my life, which is knowledge I'm sure she'll use on with great glee during her teenage years when I'm trying to punish her.
Jumping From Job To Job
In 2014 I was a server at a BBQ restaurant and I hated my job. November-January is a slow season for my area and, on top of being unhappy at my job, I was concerned about paying bills. My mom's friend, who worked for a luxury retail store, offered to recommend me for a temp position at his store to earn extra $ when my shifts were cut. I was given the temp job but I was really nervous because I'd never worked retail before. On my first day I drove to work in tears because my anxiety was so severe.
It turns out retail was a great fit for me and I caught on quickly. I thrived in the environment and when the temp assignment ended I was heartbroken. Again, I cried. I knew I wanted to work at the store and so I followed up consistently, asking if any positions are open. I interviewed for a sales position and it was the worst interview of my life. I left there thinking, "I will never be hired at this company".
A few months later they reached and offered me a part time job. I balanced two jobs (worked 7 days a week) and did everything in my power to make sure they KNEW they needed me. I was promoted to sales 2 months later and happily quit the BBQ job via text message.
6 years later I'm still working at the same store. Not only has my hard work earned me a management position, but I am the in-house brand expert, I now speak Mandarin fluently, AND I met the love of my life at this job. Turns out it pays to try something new because you never know what you're missing until you do.
Seems Like It Was Your Destiny
Saved two women, then 5 years later began a career as a bodyguard.
Driving home from church in Baltimore on Father's Day 1988. Saw an apartment complex on fire and felt the need to pull over and make sure Fire Dept was called. This was way before cell phones. After I pulled over, heard a woman screaming for help on third floor balcony. I hopped a fence, climbed up the outside of the building to get to the woman. She and another woman were panicking as the apartment filled with smoke from the fire directly below. I had them stay low on the balcony as I tried to make bedsheets into a rope ladder. Smoke was pouring in from front door and women were older and would not have been able to jump from balcony. All I could do was just stay with the crying women on the balcony until firefighters came. Ultimately got out and 2 months later got an award on TV.
Fast forward to 1994 and did my first bodyguard assignment. As of today, I've done 322 protection assignments. On every one of them, I've made a commitment that I would not let anything happen to my protectee. The night before each one, I took a look back at my life and realized that if something were to happen and I was going to meet my maker, I was at peace knowing I led my life right. 32 years later, I still get a bit anxious watching a building or car fire on TV.
A Friend Of A Friend Of A Love
In December of 2015, I had just gotten out of a 3 year long relationship and was renting a room at a coworkers house while I looked for something more permanent. One Friday night, we had planned on going to a bar with a few others but everyone ended up cancelling last minute including my coworker. It had been awhile since I had been out anywhere so I decided to go by myself.
What I didn't know is that I would end up meeting one of my best friends that night. If I had gone in a group, it's unlikely I would have ventured out of my comfort zone to meet strangers. If I didn't go at all I never would have met her. About 1 1/2 years later, a longtime friend of hers from high school ended up coming to visit from out of state, and that's how I met my fiancé. Life is crazy.
I failed an unfailable class at university because I totally flunk studying. I was so sure it is unfailable I didn't study at all.
I had to re-take the class in which there were group projects. Second time over, I was in a team with this girl.
I married her last summer.
Loving the plot twist haha
Let's Get A Drink
Said yes to going to the pub.
I was on a backpacking trip around Europe. At a hostel in Belfast this Australian guy who was in the same dorm as me asked if anyone wanted to join him for a drink. Me and a New Zealander tagged along. We had an absolutely epic night in what was then still a city under martial law. Next day we all went in different directions but I kept in contact with the Australian.
At some stage, months later, he mentions that I should come and visit him in Australia. About six months later I did. I had a fantastic time, travelled around Australia and liked it so much that I applied for a residency permit.
Thirty years later I'm still here. It's been absolutely great, but none of that would have happened if I didn't say yes to a few beers all the way back in the 80's.saugoof
An Opportunity To Show What You Can Do
One day my foreman just flat out didn't show up to work. I was vaguely familiar with what had to go on at the site, and who needed to do it, so I just started calling people, and talking to those on site saying I was filling in for him for today...
Fast forward a few months and people are saying they greatly prefer me organizing jobs, and management starts giving me jobs of my own. I start getting great reviews from clients and my jobs are making money. Eventually my old foreman gets fired (not because of me directly, but because of some questionable antics and poor performance).
Now I'm enjoying a significantly better paying and more fulfilling job. What started as a job to make a bit of money while I figured out what I want to do has turned into something with serious career potential.P0ster_Nutbag
Forgot hamburger buns.
Dad died, depressed, was without a job for over a year. Applied at a few different places and heard nothing back. Went to a bbq at a friends house and stopped at the store first. We got everything we needed, went out to the car, started packing up and realized we forgot hamburger buns.
I go back in the store, am walking down the frozen foods aisle and run into an old coworker, who happened to now be a manager at one of the places I applied at, months ago. Chatted it up with him for a little bit, and 3 days later, I get a call out of the blue to come in for an interview at his company he worked at.
Ive been with the company 18 years, last month, all because of that chance encounter in the frozen food aisle, all because I forgot hamburger buns.
Accepted a painkiller at a party.
Started as a every other weekend thing. Then it was every weekend. Then it was hard days at work. Then it was daily before work. Then it was multiple times a day at work. I'd be snorting lines off my desk, in a call center.
Then money was getting insanely tight and my dealer was like "Dude just start doing heroin it's way cheaper" and I remember laughing in his face like you f-cking idiot that'll be the day.
Then a little while later money became non-existent AND I found out your could snort heroin. Problem Solved!
And then a few handful of years later I found myself homeless in Skid Row, DTLA. Going from a loving, supportive family with amazing AMAZING friends, near six figure job, everything going super great... to passing out in piles of garbage and having teeth fall out.
I only got out thanks to suboxone but I'm so glad it exists. Moved out of the homeless shelter September 2019. Starting life over in your mid-30s is pretty sh-tty but it's doable. My life is simple as f-ck now and I have literally zero friends but that's still an upgrade from where I was a short time ago.
I guess it really is a "not even once" substance for a lot of people. Good for you and good luck going forward.
Thanks man. Thing have definitely been so much better the last 2 years. My family tried so hard to help me and eventually gave up.. I missed my baby sister's wedding which if you know our family is like mindblowing.
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Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
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As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.