People Break Down Which Lessons Their Parents Taught Them That Turned Out To Be Totally Wrong
When you're a kid, you tend to see your parents as all-knowing people. This is the reason why a lot of youngsters maintain the same religious and political beliefs that their parents passed down to them. However, once you become a full-grown adult, you start to realize that your parents are just regular people--insecure and scared just like the rest of us. Which makes us think, “did they really know best?"
Here are a few examples of the lessons passed down to children, before they realized that they were 100% wrong.
Redditor nousername1982 asked:
What is that one thing your parents taught you, that later turned to be totally wrong?
First up, relationships. A lot of times when we’re kids, our parents will teach us things about how people show their love to each other. Depending on the parents, it typically ends up being heteronormative BS, but usually well-meaning.
This is how people end up in toxic relationships as adults.
"They're only picking on you/being mean because they LIKE you."
No, no. They're just being aholes.
My aunt, who babysat me after school, told me this when a boy in my class bit me in the first grade. He also punched me between the shoulder blades and was given the "boys will be boys" treatment by the teacher.
My dad told me "if he does it again tell him you're going to punch his teeth in, if he doesn't stop punch his teeth in."
He hit me again and I threatened to knock his teeth in, the teacher saw me do it and I got in trouble and was given detention. My aunt told my dad when he got home what had happened. Dad says to my aunt "yeah, I told her to say that. Kid sounds like a punk."
That’s messed up.
sex ed GIFGiphyThat I would get pregnant as soon as I had sex. Told me that as a teenager, so I was terrified I'd get pregnant every time I interacted with a penis. Now (a decade later), I'm married and have been actually trying and it turns it out it's not as easy as they made it sound.
Ladies, please never try to “fix” a narcissist.
That you have to "suffer for love" (I'm a chick). Thanks mom, you set me up for a lifetime of trying to change narcissistic losers.
Grew up with only a dad. Got some stupid advice from him and the various divorcees that pass through the house:
- The woman should be the heart of the house
- Not feeling comfortable around a new girlfriend == not wanting my father to be happy.
- Not liking a girlfriend which is very disrespectful to me and my family == not wanting my dad to be happy.
- I shouldn't say what I think, just hint.
- I should be with anyone if he agrees to be with me, and be grateful.
- If didn't find the love of my life in high school, I won't.
- I should immediately break up with someone if he disrespects me.
My dad was a single parent (widower. Lost my mom to cancer after I was born), so I get why he was emotionally not stable.
I really just want to ask healthy normative people for relationship advice. But I get a feeling all the normal people won't give me a bit of actual advice, because it's boring, and all the crazies will have loads.
That’s sexist.
Men and women couldn't be friends.
I was raised in a weird religion in which almost any amount of communication with the opposite sex was seen as dating. Regularly texting a girl? That may as well be dating. It's a belief that I've had to unlearn after moving out so that I could have normal friendships with people.
Sometimes it’s just about control. The power dynamics between parent and child can cause for some problematic language, which they pass down to their kids.
Respect is shown to those who show respect.
bart simpson respect GIFGiphy"Respect your elders" but in the sense that you should just keep quiet when you disagree with somebody older than you - turns out many people are awful regardless of their age.
Don't get me wrong, my default is to respect any new person I meet, but when a person has repeatedly shown me that they don't are about my feelings or even basic logic, I won't hold back from speaking my mind calmly, even if they see this as disrespectful.
Privacy is a right.
My mum made me believe that privacy was a privilege. Wasn't until I started studying childcare and learning in depth about the rights of the child that I learned it is a right and that my mum is full of bullsh*t.
Edit : UN convention on the Rights of the child (UNCRC) article 16
Privacy is a right, but parents have the right/duty to limit their minor children's privacy to the extent necessary for their health and well being.
Should parents ask their kids if they practice proper hygiene, maybe even smell the hair to make sure they are using shampoo? Possibly, depending on the child. Should parents stand in the bathroom, making sure their older kids scrub their armpits just right? Definitely not.
Should parents ask about their children's friends and days at school? Yes. Should the parents give them the third degree to get more details? Not unless there is some kind of emergency.
Sounds like gaslighting to me.
That as long as we "have always been given everything we need we are loved". The emotional abuse has ruined me.
This hit hard, my dad isn't a fantastic person to me and says that just because he goes to work and puts food on the table means that he respects me. He really doesn't. He's called me an embarrassment many times and emotionally abused me as well. I'm sorry to hear about your emotional abuse, just know that there's other people out there who understand and are there for you.
Finally, let’s talk about work. The standards for jobs were a lot different when our parents were kids, and sometimes they just don’t realize that things are waaaaaaay different now.
Most bosses are pretty open to conversation.
the office boss GIFGiphy"Your job is to do whatever your boss tells you to do."
This led to a bunch of stupid situations of both me getting walked all over by employers and me quitting jobs over things that could have been fixed with a conversation.
It doesn’t HAVE to be, but it’s nice when it is.
That work should be something you love
It just has to be tolerable. If you make work your life, you will feel hit hard by the rough stages of work, which any job has. And you'll feel bad for taking a sick day, or miss it when you should be enjoying time off.
For most people its easier to be happy at the end of the work day if you feel like you are good at your job and if the work feels like it is at least somewhat useful to society in the broadest possible sense (ie working for a scammy telemarketing firm is depressing for people capable of empathy). That's not quite the same as saying you should love your job. Not everyone has to have a vocation. But you should be able to take pride in the work you did.
Good point.
I was the first person in my family to have a job in a conventional office. They thought I was a monster to accept a relocation bonus, paid vacation, and trying to work a reasonable schedule. They wanted me to be one of those people who is always willing to put in extra hours, or just sit at my desk for appearances.
The problem with this is that everyone in the office hates people like that, and the management isn't going to hook you up in the end anyways.
Sometimes it’s just plain depressing what our parents teach us, and we have to take time to unlearn them.
Relatable.
angry homer simpson GIFGiphyThey inadvertently taught me that adults were angry and bitter people, which has kind of destroyed my ability to interact with others, since I was afraid that anything could set someone off. I still have a hard time believing that people are a little more forgiving than I give them credit for.
That’s terrifying and so wrong.
- Transgender people are mentally insane. Some of my best friends are trans, and they aren't mentally insane. I'm trans, and despite my mental health, I'm not insane.
- All your actions are watched by god or a higher being, and he will let everyone know if you did anything wrong like wanting to play to male toys and wearing boy clothes. This just led to me developing an anxiety disorder, and for a good amount of years in elementary, I had fear that everyone knew every detail of what I was doing. Only for me to ask, and they would get confused.
Time to unlearn that.
It’s okay to do almost anything as long as you don't get caught.
I knew it wasn't a good thing as a little kid too, but my mom being basically the only person keeping me in check and scaring me back then. She saying this surely gave me a bit more a-hole freedom that may or may not be related to me now (20yo male) having poor conscience and only thing keeping me in check being police not morales. Exception is s*xual assault, my morales won't allow that. That’s something she also taught me being a rape victim herself.
What a weird lesson.
sick ferris buellers day off GIFGiphyNever wear makeup or take care of your appearance before going to the doctor, or else they will think you are faking and not treat you.
I had strep throat for the umpteenth time as a teen and had slumming around the house miserable for days before the agreed to take me to the doctor. When my mom saw that I had brushed my hair and put on make up, she freaked out on me. Said I didn't even look sick anymore and she almost didn't take me. It stuck with me for a long time.
Now I understand that they do an actual physical exam, take vital signs, run tests, etc...
Not helpful.
- Paying off a credit card is as simple as making your monthly payment every month.
- You'll get a good job after college as long as you graduate.
- It's easy to just keep a minimum of $100 in your bank account as a safety net.
- The only way to enforce discipline in your kids is through fear.
Most of the time when parents give you sh*tty advice, they're really just trying to protect you from making the same mistakes they did. Trouble is, that advice can end up really messing up your development, and make things harder for you in the long run.
Just remember that your parents are their own people, capable of making their own decisions. And just because they made a certain decision in life, doesn't mean that it will be the same for you. Keep on growing
People Share Common Insults From Their Country That Don't Make Sense To The Rest Of The World
Reddit user THEREAPER8593 asked: 'What insults are common in your country but you think most of the world would not understand/ever use?'
Rather than resorting to simple name-calling, many people will rack their brains for a clever insult that leaves their adversary speechless.
Of course, there are some fairly common insults that everyone knows and can keep in their back pocket when needed, also guaranteed to leave their conversation partner speechless as well.
Sometimes, however, they are not left speechless because they can't find a clever comeback to the insult just thrown at them, but rather because they have no idea what was just said to them.
Owing to the fact that this particular insult might be commonplace in another country, but makes no sense elsewhere, with it's meaning garbled, if there was any meaning left at all.
"What insults are common in your country but you think most of the world would not understand/ever use?"
An Insult, Or A Suggestion?
"South Korea has an insult that says 'The Han River is warm'."
"Doesn't mean much literally but it implies that it is a good day to jump off the bridge of the Han River because it is not too cold."- SnooTomatoes7746
Hard To Say Which Is Better... (Or Worse?)
"Most of the world uses "motherf*cker", which we do as well. But in India it's much more common to call someone sisterf*cker."- PhreedomPhighter
...A Lot Of People Do...
"You have a bird“- stan-twice
Is This Even An Insult?
"In Australia the biggest insult is 'Thanks Champ' or 'Cheers muscles'."- b7oke
Definitely A Word No One Wants To Hear...
"'Kanker' (cancer) is used as a swear word/Insult here."
"Example: "je kanker moeder" (your cancer mom/mother)."
"The Netherlands."- Co_caine_
Well, Not Everyone Wants To Be Stuck In There...
"Greeks use the word 'p*ssywipe' when sitting in a tavern over a meal with their kids around."
"Basically calling someone a tampon is common."- International-Cup143
Ladies Manufacturing GIF by SiemensGiphyDefinitely Lost In Translation
"Jy's 'n poes."- take_the_L_
"Schafseckel (Sheep ballsack, you)."
"Krummbohreds Arschloch (off centre drilled a**hole, you)."- HF_Martini6
If Not An Insult, It's A Darn Good Metaphor...
"Sh*t a hedgehog" most would probably understand but not use."- IntelligentGrocery79
GiphyFill In The Noun...
"'You're so pretty'."
"Said in a sweet, condescending voice means 'it's good that you're pretty because you just said something so stupid that it proves that you're dumber than a bag of hammers'."- TrailerParkPrepper
Ding Dong?
"Bellend."- YaMomsHouse22
There Are Worse Things To Be...
"In France they say 'your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberry' all the time to the English."- Cussec
Christmas Hamster GIF by MashableGiphyNot Out Of The Realm Of Possibility...
"your ma's yer da."- throwawaythro2020
Just Stay Out Of The Kitchen...
"F*ck your mum's onion."- Alexshere_Ro
Of course, having a strong insult that isn't so well known outside of your own country might work to your advantage.
For all they know, they could be thinking that you are paying them the most wonderful compliment.
Making everyone happy...
A natural part of work is the possibility of losing your job.
Sometimes, it's because the company is downsizing and needed to eliminate your position.
Other times, the company is losing money and needs to make lay offs.
And sometimes, the company specifically doesn't want you anymore, and they fire you.
Getting fired is always a big experience (though usually not a good one), but in some cases, the experience is more memorable. Reddit users have stories like that and are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor shittlebuffout asked:
"How did you get fired?"
Yikes!
"Little Ceasers."
"Mixing vodka and orange juice in the dough machine after close."
"1991."
– bardwick
Secret Shoppers
"Working as a cashier I missed a case of water underneath someone's cart and turns out they were a secret shopper or something... I had a couple days off and I came back to look at the schedule and was told I was fired"
– spiderman96
"A case of water is what, $4? They don't understand that it costs a lot more than $4 to replace an otherwise good employee? Even if you made that mistake once an hour indefinitely they still make absolute bank off your labour."
– quackerzdb
"I worked at Sam's Club for a couple of years as a cashier. Sometimes I had to work the exit door where I had to check peoples' receipts. It was surprising how much stuff was missed by the cashiers. AFAIK, no one was fired over any of it."
– imnotlouise
"I can resonate, I worked at a theme park and I was loved to one of those sh*tty pop up merch stands in kidsville. My shift finishes and someone comes over and asks to buy a drink. Till was already closed but they had kids so I obeyed and gave them a water. An undercover worker was near by and had me taken away to their theme park jail… over a water 😂"
– Particular_School190
So Little Time, Even Less To Do
"My first real job when I was 16 was at a burger joint. I watched an entire movie without pausing it during my shift, I was the only person there that day. Boss walked in as the movie was finishing and I had my feet up on the table. Came back a few days later to check the schedule and I wasn’t on it. Even more awkward because I was dating the boss’ daughter at the time."
– shittlebuffout
"I can relate. My last job was quality assurance position and when working in the receiving end it was a lot of waiting since I couldn't do anything until we actually got a truck in and someone unloaded it. Most of the time it was literally HOURS before anyone got around to unloading anything so I'd just be on my phone or something. But God forbid one of the auditors over me comes back and sees me. I could never get him to understand that since there were no trucks there was nothing to check. I'd offer to do work in another department until one came in but he didn't want me to do that either. He wanted me there waiting. With nothing to do. 🙄"
– AstalosMayhem
I Tell All
"I already had a new job lined up but it wasn’t starting for another 2 months so I was just trying to lay low and then give a 2 week notice. My old a**hole boss made one snarky comment too many and I couldn’t help myself. I put him on blast over some of his nefarious activities in front of our CEO. He fired me at the end of that week, but he was forced to retire a month later after everything I said was confirmed."
"I was a District Manager and we had this one customer that owed us a lot of money on change orders, but wouldn’t pay. My own boss was throwing up roadblocks preventing us from collecting. That seemed strange (obviously) so I did some digging and found out that the customer and my boss were old friends that went in together on some side business. Corporate hunting/fishing outfit or something like that."
"If this customer’s projects came in under budget, he would get large bonuses. He would sole source our company for all of his projects and always understate the scope. My boss would then stop me from collecting change orders. The guy would come in under budget, get his bonus, and use it to help fund their new business venture."
"I was willing to say “f*ck it I’m gone in 2 months anyway”, but the a**hole had the nerve to question my district’s revenue numbers on a conference call during a monthly P&L review, not knowing I knew what was going on. So I busted him and waited for the hammer to fall."
"I don’t know what happened to the customer, but the a**hole had enough time in that they let him “retire” instead of being fired."
"I’m not exactly proud of it but…oh who am I kidding, f*ck that guy."
– asimovsroomba
Never Show Weakness
"Threw up on my first day."
"I also don’t live in America. I live in the netherlands. And i was fired because apparently working @ a boat cafe isn’t for the weak."
"it wasn’t a mobile boat. that’s what makes it funnier."
– angelicdollface
Worth It
"Went to see Grateful Dead at RFK stadium in DC. I told the manager not to schedule me that weekend but he did anyway. Told him I wouldn't be there. When I returned Monday I was fired. Worth it."
"Funny thing is my wife (gf at the time) was also scheduled and went with me to the show. She wasn't fired - but she quit when she found out I was fired."
"Darryl's Restaurant in Raleigh, NC. - by the way they had some pretty good food."
– fleetber
Ooops!
"Gave a spectacular demonstration of the top-heavy nature of a UPS truck. Rave reviews from locals, as the roadway was scattered with hundreds of packages. Management was unimpressed and suggested a different career."
– pullin2
"UPSiedaisy"
– salimeero
Ending Up Glad
"I took on a role that was not fit for me. It was my second job as a software developer, and the role was dev #2 at an early stage startup. As in, the entire dev team was me and another engineer."
"Startup life can vary greatly, but this was a financial tech firm near Wall Street. To say that it’s a lot of responsibility is an understatement. There’s no such thing as saying “that’s not my job” or “I don’t know how to do that”. If the company needs it, you have to do it."
"It was a good learning experience because I was pushed very far outside of my comfort zone, but it also gave me crippling anxiety and I got burnt out. I made a bunch of mistakes and was eventually fired over it. The job was so hard that I was actually relieved to get fired."
– tenaciousDaniel
Fresh Food
"Was working in McDonalds two years ago. I was the dude who was responsible of the fries. One evening this dude comes in asking for a regular order of a burger and fries. We serve him accordingly. Next morning he comes in screaming about how the fries he ordered yesterday were soggy and demanded to speak to me. By the state of him and his face he had clearly been drinking the night before."
"I went up to him and he started screaming at me, I started by apologising but then after him screaming at me for 10 mins I started defending the fries I had made. He said “Do you think I am lying just to get a refund, I just had the fries before coming here and they were soggy.""
"One of the other staff members who was working the till recognised him from the night before. Turns out he had left the fries in his car the whole night while he was out drinking and still expected them to be fresh and crispy the next morning. I lost it and kicked him out."
"Two hours later the owner of that franchise comes in and fires me for kicking his NEPHEW out of the place. All the other staff members were on my side but he threatened fire them as well if they had a problem with his decision. The place closed down because they couldn’t find people to work there as the owner kept firing people for petty reasons"
– kingbatuk013
"This reminds me of egg guy. I used to work at a little diner, and every Sunday this old guy would come in and get scrambled eggs to go. And every Sunday, about 3 hours later, he would cone back with the old eggs and ask for fresh ones. We always made them because there was clearly something not right with him. I explained a few times to just come and buy the eggs later, we serve breakfast all day, but he still did this."
– SmudgeZelda
Don't Want You Here
"Pretty sure they were just wanting to get rid of me. I was working at a meat market/deli store and I was called on my phone after work hours by the owner to tell me he was letting me go because I upset a customer that day."
"It was Saturday which were just half days but incredibly busy. An older man and his wife had ordered something chicken so I wrapped it up, priced it, and gave it to them to take to the register. Well he tells me he wanted the breaded chicken whatever. I say, oh sorry she didn't specify breaded but I'll get you the correct chicken. I unwrapped what I gave them and put it back in the case, throw away the wrapping paper and do it all quickly because there were people waiting in line."
"So I get the breaded chicken wrapped and priced and hand it back to them. The wife asks is this the chicken whatever and I say it's the breaded chicken whatever. I swear I didn't say it with nasty tone just affirming that it was breaded. Well the husband gave me a dirty look and they leave."
"Well the owner calls me later that evening to fire me because he was pals with that old guy. I file unemployment, the owner fights and I guess he tells the agent what he thinks happened because when the agent called me. I was telling him my side and the agent tells me, "Well the owner said you did this thing and that," and I tell the agent the owner wasn't even there that day and him and that customer were friends. I think that sealed it in my favor because I got approved."
– Glass_Chance9800
Work places can be so unfair!
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
We all... could be a Dateline NBC villain.
Life pushes us.
Of course, there are also times when accidents happen and we prove life is fragile.
One never knows what actions they will one day be responsible for.
More deep breaths should be taken.
Redditor BBQPancake wanted to hear about the times people almost let the devil win, so they asked:
"What was the closest you've gotten to killing someone?"
Everytime someone CHOOSES not to use a turn signal, I roll the dice if this is the moment.
No Hazards
lauren conrad car GIF by The HillsGiphy"Dude was changing his tire on the side of the freeway about half past midnight, dressed in dark clothes, no hazards on, and sitting halfway into the right lane. Almost splattered that dude."
Flooded_Strand
Totally Weird Experience
"11:30 pm Remote country road with no streetlights. There’s a tiny traffic island in the middle of the road and I see what looks like a slightly different-colored silhouette standing there. By all rights, I should not have seen him there but something in my brain clicked and swore there was a figure standing there so I slammed on my brakes as the figure jumped out in front of me, car stopped about 2m away."
"He smiled really sinisterly and started walking towards the car, I reversed and made to move around him slowly and he jumped in front again, I managed to drive on the wrong side of the road to escape him."
"A minute down the road I stop to flash my lights at every passing car to warn them and I sh*t you not the second car that passed was a cop and I explained what happened. I circled back a minute later and saw the dude on the side of the road in cuffs. Totally weird experience."
HeyMrCow
SLAM!
"When I passed my driving test many years ago, I asked the instructor if he had any advice for a new driver. He warned me that if I ever saw a ball roll into the street to immediately hit the brakes because there was a good chance a kid will follow. I never forgot that and have religiously followed it ever since."
"A couple of years ago I was driving down a residential street and it happened again and something in my mind told me to SLAM on my brakes and so I did. I came to a stop just feet from a really little kid who was completely frozen in terror."
"That driving instructor is probably dead of old age by now, but wherever he is, I hope he understands that he saved that little kid's life and saved me a lifetime of guilt and heartache."
MaybeADumbass
The potatoes were stuck
"Pneumatic potato cannon. My friends and I were shooting it in my backyard. Must have launched off dozens of potatoes at this point. We decided to stuff 3 potatoes in the barrel. When we open the valve to shoot it nothing happened. We were sitting around 60 psi and had no launch."
"The potatoes were stuck. My friend went to look down the barrel. I saw what was going to happen and lifted the back forcing the barrel into the ground. At that time the potatoes shot out and left a small crater in the ground."
ELONGATEDSNAIL
I Shudder
shooting breaking glass GIF by PhazedGiphy"I was fermenting homemade kombucha in a tightly closed bottle. Which I forgot to burp. One day a bottle exploded, while my mother-in-law was in the kitchen. Luckily, she was far from the bottle at the moment and got only a scratch on her hand, but we had to dislodge glass shards from the walls. I still shudder from a thought of what would happen if she were closer."
nazanar
Closed bottles and pressure, that is a toxic mess.
Take shelter.
Avengers Unite
the avengers GIFGiphy"Every time I drive in Sydney on a weekend 4000 people either wanna walk out into traffic without looking or cycle onto main roads without pausing or merge into my lane without indicating/checking. By staying in defensive driving mode I've saved more lives than the Avengers."
RGH81
6 Inches
"Was on a film set working when a mentally unstable person with a knife approached me and another crew member."
"Was forced to take a swing at him with a gobo arm (it's essentially a metal rod with a metal knuckle on the end of it). Swung hard enough that if it connected, would have caved in this dude's temple."
"Just missed, and it coming so close must have jolted the guy back to reality and he took off. So closest I came to killing someone was about 6 inches."
Ringlovo
A Few feet from the Girl
"Used to work a delivery job. One afternoon, I'm driving back to work in the old POS delivery van and some girl bolts across the road (presumably to catch a bus that had pulled over up ahead)."
"Slammed on the brakes and came to a sliding stop completely sideways in the middle of the road no more than 2 or 3 feet from the girl. I still think about it sometimes, it was a heavy old Ford van, with no ABS. If I'd been speeding even slightly I think I would've hit her."
ZatyDaddy
Madre de Dios
"Driving a loaded truck, probably about 10,000 lb or so, at the speed limit. Traffic in the oncoming lane is at a standstill. Some [censored] decided he was too important to wait with everyone else and pulls out, face to face with me, at very short range. I swerved hard right, didn't really expect to miss him but somehow did."
"Then swerved hard left to avoid the people on the sidewalk, somehow missed them too. Didn't think you could make a truck do that. Apparently, my passenger (the owner of the truck I was driving for) didn't think it was possible either. I learned some new swear words in Spanish and what sounded like the prayer of thanks to Madre de Dios."
philzar
Fired
New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy"High school friend's dad wanted to teach us how to shoot. Went to the range and when he wasn't looking I grabbed the pistol and tried the John Woo sideways grip shot. It flew out of my hand and the bullet ricocheted off the side wall. That was my last time to ever fire a gun."
eguez780
We really need to be vigilant.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
As much as most of our favorite movies and books like to portray beautiful, functional, unconditionally loving families, we didn't all come from households like that.
It can be especially hard to be singled out by your family, functional or not, as the root of all its problems.
Redditor Yuizun asked:
"How did you become your family's 'black sheep'?"
Family No Matter What
"My family on one side shares a toxic belief that no matter how bad someone treats you 'family is family' and you continue to associate anyway."
"My parent on that side was abusive, so as an adult, I chose to not have that parent in my life. At first, I was given the 'Yeah, they were wrong and treated you horribly, but...family' speech by a few relatives, but I stayed firm on staying away from this parent."
"I'm now basically disowned. I guess family is family unless you refuse to deal with your abuser, then you aren't family?"
- Orchidforever
Not the Right Kind of "Successful"
"I didn’t go to medical, dental, or law school, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Additional-Brief-272
"I don't want to be that guy, but I'll one-up you."
"My brother is the black sheep because he's not a surgeon. He decided to be a pediatrician. My father was actually disappointed in him."
- GeneralGrueso
Adoption Troubles
"I was adopted at birth. Black Sheep Status attained!"
"My parents 'settled' for an adopted child after failing to conceive a biological one. S**tty for me that they finally got pregnant with the long-desired biological kid very shortly after my adoption."
- 1derHamster
Age Gap Issues
"I'm kind of the automatic black sheep because of my age. I'm the oldest grandchild in the family and my mom had me when she was very young so by the time her siblings had children I was already 13."
"So I'm kind of an island of my own experiences in a different phase of life than everyone... too young to really hang with the adultier adults and too old to hang with all my cousins who are 13+ years younger than me."
"Growing up, it was very isolating. It's gotten a bit better now that all of us are older, but I still don't really feel like I belong especially well anywhere."
- HeraPlum
Being Introverted
"Being an introvert in a very extroverted family."
- ApplesPeaches
"Try being introverted at home, and extroverted at work, while your family knows this."
"So it's always just, 'We know you can do better, why are you always so quiet around us?'"
- Martina313
The Sibling Shadow
"When my older sister set the bar too high starting in second grade."
- FiremanBillBradley
"My brother was always in trouble at school. I was quiet and too shy to do anything but get my work done but whenever there was trouble in my classroom it was always said by a passing teacher, 'Oh, that's x's sister, bound to be her fault.'"
- Valuable_Recipe_1387
Making Big Moves
"I moved to Japan, which I thought was fine, but in my family's eyes I am the same as Al-Qaeda."
"No joke."
"The day before I moved to Japan, my dad said to me, 'IF YOU HATE AMERICA SO F**KING MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU JUST MOVE TO IRAQ AND JOIN AL-QAEDA!'"
"Like bro, chill the f**k out, I'm moving to teach English, gawd dayum."
"My parents have since calmed down, but my 24-year-old sister basically called me a traitor the last time we talked, and my 27-year-old sister said I'm a f**king id**t for moving to a country that isn't even free."
"My parents still make fun of Japan constantly and tell me they will never ever visit me here (to which I said cool, I guess I'll never see you again, because I'm not going to America until you visit me here) so yeah."
"Somehow I'm the black sheep for just like, doing what I want."
- Particular_Stop_3332
Mental Health Stigma
"I was open about suffering from severe depression."
- LadySygerrik
Toxic Family Members
"For refusing my sister's toxic behavior in my life."
"My family is the kind of family where the saying 'family is family' really is implemented."
"However, not with me. I tolerate what I want. If you are a piece of s**t, you don't deserve to be in my life. My family did not accept that and well, baaaah."
- Kitasuki
The Wrong College
"It was a long time ago... but my older sisters were attending Wharton and MIT at the time. The best I could do was Carnegie Mellon. I still remember the look of utter disappointment on my parents' faces."
- PluckPubes
Unapologetic Lifestyle
"Pursuing my constructive life passions and even morphing them into my work, making a good living at it, and being happy and unapologetic about it."
"Instead of doing something my parent thought I should be doing instead, something that wasn’t a 'waste of my time' like a 'real' job."
"I’m the only one of my siblings without a DUI or any other legal issues. Still the black sheep."
- LivingWithWhales
Breaking Generational Cycles
"For being significantly more mentally stable and responsible, and also not enabling or making excuses for a problematic relatives behavior."
- missesalchemist111
The Unplanned Pregnancy
"I was born and had needs and that was it."
- Sunsa249
"I was born as a result of high school sex. That was my fault. They weren't ready for me. Then I had needs like education and medical care and that was just asking too d**n much."
- literally_lite_rally
Black Sheep by Association
"By being born to my mother who was already a black sheep because she was born five years after her four siblings as a 'pleasant surprise.'"
"Most people don't become the black sheep. They're born it."
- Disig
Supportive Siblings
"Supporting my sibling when my stepparent was continually unfair about them. Went from being the unwilling favorite to ‘She Who Must Not Be Named.’"
"Thankfully my in-laws are amazing!"
- bad_dancer236
From ridiculous and petty reasons to larger social issues that a child never could have chosen for themselves, people have been turned into black sheep for all sorts of reasons.
The common thread for each of these people was their decision to value themselves over how they were being treated.
Clearly, the people viewing them as the black sheep didn't like having boundaries enforced around them.