It's called "learning the hard way" for a reason.
Once you learn something the hard way it's impossible to forget it. It sticks in your brain due to the trauma that came along with learning the difficult lesson. Hopefully it didn't leave a lasting impact and have consequences on the rest of your life, but who knows?
Sometimes, a lesson well learned comes at a great cost.
u/tb1649 asked:
What is a lesson you only had to learn once? What's the story behind it?
Here were some of those answers.
Town Crier
When you're having a problem with a coworker, whoever presents their story to management first almost always comes out on top.
Often the case with law enforcement as well.
Lick-tenant Cable
As a toddler I wouldn't stop trying to lick electric plugs. My mom was so exhausted of preventing me from touching the plugs she just stopped doing it. I managed to lick a plug. Never ever tried it again.
When I was around 10 years old I licked a cable once to see what would happen...worst idea ever. My tongue felt numb and I also felt some sort of burning sensation at the same time for at least 30 minutes.
Of Course What Really Matters Is The Blame
When I first started a job where I had real responsibility, I learned the importance of having written evidence. I was "leading" a project and needed approval for a $50,000 purchase (still above my pay grade at this time). The timing was tight and needed to give the okay within a few hours. I got a verbal "Of course that is okay, hurry and finish it!" from my boss. Well it turns out my boss's boss did not like it.
So my boss denied the fact he gave me the go ahead. My company proceeded to drag their feet to pay the $50,000 bill and I got cursed at by the contracting company and my boss's boss because my boss threw me under the bus. I have since learned to get written approval for everything even if it sets the project behind. I also learned most people in the professional world will do whatever they need to do to shift the blame.
The Fight Is Within
Never get in a fight with an inanimate object. It will not get hurt but you will. I've known too many people that kicked/punched something and broken themselves. Walls don't complain.
Yup. Went to school with a guy who got mad and kicked a fish tank. That resulted in a severed Achilles's tendon and a looong time on crutches.
Legalese
CYA (cover your *butt*) at work. Being the new person sucks at an office, and insisting on proper treatment can feel like a mistake but it's so worthwhile.
Started working at an office with very little in written expectations, processes, or training. Red flags were everywhere, but I was a newbie in the field and really needed a job, so I missed some red flags and ignored others.
One thing that I absolutely got right (by accident) was a hardcore CYA program. I wrote down everything during training (thinking I would train the next person better). I wrote down everything I was asked to do (trying to keep organized and not miss any assignment or task). I kept a copy of all of this on my google calendar/google docs.
After I left, I found out my boss was blaming me for a number of misses that were demonstrably not my fault. I ended up having to sue, and thank god I had a record to back me up.
Molten Egg
I was about 11 years old and I wanted a warm hard boiled egg. I took the egg out of the refrigerator, peeled it, put the egg in the microwave for about 10 seconds. Took the egg out and bit into it. It exploded when I took the first bite. I had a huge blister on my lip for a few days. Not so bright.
Cuts Abounding
Not to be stupid with water guns. I was on holiday with my family and I was about 13 and my dad had bought two water guns that worked by you pulling it back as it suctioned the water up, I (being a dumb idiot) decided to suction my lip and it pinged back and cut my lip open. Had to go to hospital abroad and get stitches
Get Me On Out
Not to get involved in office politics and to NEVER trust HR. I thought I was good friends with the HR woman, she would come in my office and tell me all about her personal life...even cried to me a few times. She would say things like "If it weren't for you I wouldn't be able to come in everyday". We were friends on social media. So in turn, I felt comfortable to talk about my own problems, especially with my boss. She talked about hers constantly so I didn't feel like it would come back to bite me. Well... as you're expecting, it did.
I got pulled into my bosses office with her right there taking notes as he talked to me for two hours about my performance and then said "I know she's a very nice person, but everything you tell her comes right back to me. So if there's anything you'd like to say you can say it now that were both in here... and just so you know, we're not trapping you"... I literally just sat there and took it and just okay'd everything and did not say a word.
She's avoided me like the plague since and I deleted her on all social media. As you can imagine, I'm currently looking for a new position.
Too Many Fallacies
Everyone is willing to take advantage of you. As a student in college a while back I worked as a contractor for a startup and I didn't have a written contract. I worked my butt off for 3 months while they kept delaying my pay. At the end the owner refused to pay me and stated I could "go eff myself". Tried to get a lawyer but they said since I didn't have a contract it would be extremely difficult. Just had to file a labor complaint.
The lesson here is always getting something on paper :(
People Break Down What They'd Do If The Internet Shut Down Tomorrow
Reddit user Samuelwankenobi_ asked 'If the internet shut down tomorrow, what do you do?'
As quickly as the internet and social media came onto the scene, many people can still remember what it was like before the internet was so prevalent, or at least when people were first getting acclimated to it.
Thinking back, they entertained the idea of the internet going away again, and the results were eye-opening.
Redditor Samuelwankenobi_ asked:
"If the internet shut down tomorrow, what do you do?"
Looking for Work
"I would probably have to look for a job."
- alwaysworks
"Almost all business now depends on the internet, including payment networks, infrastructure, etc..."
- trancecircuit
Be Kind; Rewind
"Step 1. Make some phone calls."
"Step 2. Open a new form of Blockbuster. People are going to want their movies and shows that they can't stream anymore."
"Step 3. Profit."
- ooglieguy0211
Office Environments
"Be f**king p**sed because I have to work in an office again."
- FredChocula
Honestly, A Dream
"It would be time to actually 'quit' and get to that plant mom career I’ve been wanting."
- skdubbs
Mental Health Quality
"I'd probably see an improvement in my mental health."
- Pale_Currency_134
Back to Reading
"I'd get a library card."
- Virgin_algerian
Reconnect with Nature
"Go outside."
- CertifiedLurker5
"For a nice long bike ride."
- nutellatubby
Internet Addiction
"I am 20 and the internet is all I have known. I would be so annoyed, frustrated, and depressed all at the same time but I do think with time my mental health would improve and I would start doing the things I actually want to do."
- officialjeasuschrist2
"I am 50 and miss my internet-free life quite often. Tech and the internet have done a number on my ability to focus, productivity, and social interactions. But I also lack the willpower to simply shut it off."
- Taminella_Grinderfal
Options Aplenty
"Clean my house and do the garden. No wait, my current fixation is an offline game, I'd probably play that and watch some of my 12Tb of shows and movies instead..."
- LordOafsALot
Sounds About Right
"Run like a headless chicken for about three hours and then go clean my room."
- RavenWitch13
We Can Certainly Hope So
"Go back to enjoying life as it's supposed to be."
- Starforce1616
Practical Choice
"Well, I’d try unplugging and it plugging it back in. Will probably fix it."
- DisappointingPanda
Apocalypse Now
"There would be no card payments (how do you buy food, gas, medicine,…). Landlines run over the internet where I live so no basic telephones. Communication as we know it would be gone. Would ATMs even work anymore? Things would get really ugly, really fast."
- alwaysaprairiegirl
"Nothing would work, some major infrastructures have backups, but for the most part our entire way of life is run through the internet."
"We’d be f**ked if it was out longer than three to five days."
- Mundane_Tour_3215
Avoid the Panic
"Hunker down for the next 48 hours. Stay away from public places and try to avoid being killed over a can of soup as the panic spreads. If it comes back on immediately, start using the brief calm to stockpile as much as I can. Within a week the cost of living will skyrocket as companies try to bleed people dry to recoup their losses and pay for the new redundancy systems they are putting into place. If it doesn't come back on after 48 hours; well kiss your @ss goodbye."
- westernteryaki
Ready to Go
"I am a child of the 80s. I trained for this."
- Subliminal_Image
Though being without the internet being gone would be incredibly jarring, those who were old enough to remember a time without such a prominent internet actually welcomed the idea.
There's no question that the pandemic changed the world, and as the pandemic grew from a month-long hiatus to a three-year one, it's disconcerting to think of how much things have changed.
For some, basic conveniences, entertainment, and those things we used to take for granted are the things they still miss the most.
Redditor jdward01 asked:
"What do you miss that disappeared during the pandemic?"
Driving Etiquette
"Driving really seems to have gotten worse, hasn’t it? I can’t figure it out."
- limedifficult
"Being passed in the turn lane on a three-lane road. Never in my life saw it before the pandemic. Then it turned into once every several weeks."
"Also, the police completely stopped doing anything about basic laws. Having the person in front of you slam on their brakes and realize they have no brake lights is a blast."
"Also, license plates were ‘optional’ around here until very very recently. But I still can’t remember the last time I saw a police officer pulling over speeders on the highway."
- clocks212
Basic Hope
"My belief that most people are reasonable and compassionate."
- Waughoo81
Good Quality Meals
"24-hour stores and food that had better quality."
"It seems like all food has gone down in quality. Fast food, sit-down restaurants, take out, and grocery stores."
- ZenoSalts
"I took my daughter to Applebee's yesterday (her pick) and I'm not saying their food was ever fantastic, but there was a very noticeable difference in the food from even the past year or two. I've noticed this in several restaurants lately. It's getting harder and harder to find decent restaurant food anymore."
"It sucks because I hate cooking, lol (laughing out loud)."
- anonymousloser000
Basic Kindness
"General friendliness. People care less about each other than they used to."
- Gabrilaellie85
Social Etiquette
"Civility. I mean, it wasn't great to begin with, but post-pandemic, no one seems to know how to act in public anymore."
- kopackistan
Ability to Socialize
"My social skills."
- FreeStudios
"Seriously. I found myself extremely awkward as things started opening up."
- Old_Snow3086
"And social stamina! I went to a baby shower for two and a half hours and to a department store for like an hour yesterday. Came home SO exhausted that I took a nap for an hour. Then a few hours later I went to bed and slept THIRTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT. Like what the f**k?"
- kat_the_houseplant
Medical Work
"I miss when I enjoyed my job, I'm sure I'm not the only one, but the pandemic really changed the way my hospital runs and not for the better. All the good staff who could jumped ship, and if they replace them at all, it's with a traveler or a warm body, and our quality of care has certainly suffered."
"Not to mention, the organization I work for is buying up all sorts of s**t but when we need vital equipment, we are told how there is no money for it. Even more insulting is this stupid f**king robot they bought that's sole purpose is to deliver things between departments. I'm pretty close to quitting healthcare forever at this point."
"Normally I don't entertain when people s**t on America, but for real as someone on the inside our healthcare system is f**king appalling."
- Bootsix
"I came here to post this, it’s not really related to my hospital but just to my disillusionment with medicine in general. I used to feel proud and honored to be a physician. Now it’s just a job and a path to retirement, as early as possible. I’m burnt to a crisp and jaded beyond repair. I’m 40 years old."
- Sp4ceh0rse
Night Shifts
"S**t being open after nine o'clock. Working second shift got harder when everything is closed after."
- Barmacist
"24-hour places don't exist anymore either. Even Walmart isn't 24 hours anymore here. The only things open 24 hours are my local grocery, gas stations, and McDonald's."
- mhenderson1008
Walmart and McDonald's
"24-hour Walmart and all-day breakfast at McDonald's."
- RabidRabbiRabbit
Affordable Living
"Humans need so much STUFF and it all costs money. All this irritating need for food and toothpaste and electricity and whatnot. Why is it so expensive?"
- theyarnllama
Affordable Housing
"I had been saving to buy a house and recognized that everything was going to go bad soon so I closed on a house in June 2020. I don't know when we'll see interest rates that low again."
- TheEveryman86
"My wife and I had the same thought in summer 2020. We bought a small house for what seemed like too much money then."
"Our house is now worth 100k+ more. Good for me, but my friends who have decent jobs tried to buy like three months after us and even though they were in a near exact situation that we were in, their hopes were dashed."
"It’s been three years. They’re still looking, but their option pool is small and pretty terrible."
- UnspeakablyCrass
Loved Ones
"My grandpa."
- Yan-Ts
"Mom for me."
- No_Step_4431
Paper Menus
"Paper menus. I'm tired of scanning a QR code and dealing with terrible interfaces and slow wifi just to order a meal."
- Ariadne_on_the_Rocks
Poor Reception
"People."
"I work in a grocery store. We were deemed essential services and were forced to work. We didn't want to be called heroes, the people did to make themselves feel better. Now that the pandemic is over, the people are back to treating us like garbage again."
"F**k people."
- Wraisted
Employment
"My job... company went under. It was a love-hate relationship, but I've suffered for it."
- BigEyedThresher
The pandemic impacted everyone and with long-lasting effects. But some of the things we're left missing after the pandemic are the same things we took for granted before.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
Some people have the tendency to hold things in so as not to risk ruffling feathers or facing huge embarrassment.
The problem with that, however, is that these secrets can fester and become unbearable to live with.
At some point, something's gotta give, and it can be worth the release.
Curious to hear examples of those kinds of scenarios, Redditor FazzyPhonix asked:
"What’s something you need to get off your chest but haven’t yet?"
When it comes to finding love, it's complicated.
Feeling Love
"I’ve never experienced genuine, romantic love. I have had opportunities for it. But I never really felt like I could develop it."
– Frisky_Potato42nite
Concept Of Dating
"Aroace here. I can't believe how long I spent waiting for romantic feelings. Dating sounds like a good idea, but I have never once wanted to date anyone in particular. Frankly, it's infuriating."
– grayTorre
Unrequited Love
"I’m madly in love with my ex and can’t move on. He’s across the country and I can’t even look at anyone else because of how I feel. It’s been almost 2 years, I don’t want to feel this way anymore but I can’t make it go away."
"There, that helped a little."
– lavenderdearest
Some people are deep in despair but don't show it.
Feeling Stuck
"I used to self harm by cutting and making myself throw up, I've dealt with several eating disorders and am pretty much still in one currently, I feel stuck in a life that doesn't seem to be going anywhere and I'm kind of just surviving at the moment."
– BarefootBestseller
Choosing Life
"I was in that boat and thinking about ending it. Everything was just boring. In the end I’m glad I didn’t; I’ve had a great couple years. I got engaged and found an amazing house with my fiancée. Now I’m trying to make everyone’s life around me a little better everyday. Whenever I see a post like this I always think about how happy I am I stuck around. Even though you’re just treading water now, you’ll catch a current and go somewhere soon. Just keep hanging on for now, I know things will get better for you and you’ll be looking back happily one day."
– mbur77
Some people wish to avoid placing burden on others by keeping personal matters a secret.
Cancer Risk
"I have to go get a biopsy done because I might have cancer. From what I read, I shouldn’t be overly worried but if it did come back positive there is a little more then a 50% chance I won’t be here in 5 years. Haven’t really told anybody, because it could very well be nothing but f'k it is keeping me up at night."
"Edit: thanks for the love everybody, should be fine. As people have mentioned, could come back negative, could be cancerous but benign. The idea is I just got to know, because I feel like my life is on pause until I find out. ❤️ back at everybody."
– trudenter
Friendly Warning
"Don’t put it off. I put off going to the dr when starting having some downstairs problems. Turned out it was stage 2 cervical cancer. If only I’d have gone to the dr sooner? Maybe the tumour wouldn’t have been so big, I might not have needed so much chemo or radio and I can’t stop thinking about how I should have done it sooner as it’s had so much of an impact on my life."
– shiningstar121618
Some feel a loss so deep, they think it's best to just go through it alone.
Old Best Friend
"I miss my best friend but I do think it's better that we're apart. I try not to think about it."
– twirlingpink
Mourning The Death Of A Friendship
"Best friend from school beat up his baby mama infront of me and I had to intervene. Turned out it had been going on secretly for a long time. Never would have expected it had i not seen it myself. Ended up having to be a witness in court anf give evidence to help her and the kid get the restraining order. I did the right thing, her and the little girl and happy and he's stopped drinking and has visitation rights now. Me and him are done though, well never be friends again. I mourn him as if he were dead."
– Cpt_kaleidoscope
Look Back
"Broke up with my best friend of 9 years almost 8 years ago now. I still miss him at times but eventually got to the point where I saw how toxic that relationship became and know im way better off having ended it. Took a couple years to get there."
– Kinoko98
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
First impressions can be misleading, to the point of being dangerous.
After all, as Jane Austen taught us in Pride and Prejudice (whose original title was, in fact, First Impressions) the person who ends up being the love of your life might seem utterly loathsome upon a first meeting.
Even so, it's hard not to snap to judgment when meeting someone for the first time, particularly based on what they say.
Be it a difference in political or religious beliefs, or simply something shockingly rude or ignorant, all it can take is a few words or idioms to make us never want to see or hear from someone ever again.
"What words/phrases do you hear someone say and immediately know you’re probably not going to like the person?"
Is It Even Love?
"'Tough love' often seems to be used as an excuse to be a dick. I get it when it's like an intervention, but most times I've personally heard it this was just people who wanted to start sh*t." -Reddit
That Could Be ONE Reason...
“'People don’t like me because I tell it like it is'.”- MassiveProductions
Taking Others Down Is No Way To Pick Yourself Up...
"If a person humiliates others for the sake of boosting his own ego, I immediately stop communicating with that person."- AnastasiaFrid
mean girls ugh GIFGiphyOr Just Brutal?
“I’m brutally honest”- -not-pennys-boat-
And That's A Problem Because...?
“You’re so quiet”- WearyPigeon
Not Everyone Likes Their Family...
"'We're a family here' in a work setting."
"Mother f*cker you just laid off 'cousin' Bill."- recoil669
Hbo Are We Doing This GIF by SuccessionHBOGiphyIf You Think It Might Cause Offense, Then Maybe Don't Say It?
“'No offense, but…', just before saying the most offensive thing you’ve heard in your life."- lisathethrowaway
A Disability Should Never Be A Punch
“'I’m so bipolar' to explain why they are indecisive or to play off poor life choices."
"Or just to say to sound quirky."
"Really hate that."
"I’m bipolar and rarely tell anyone."- PerplexedPoppy
Then Don't Cause Any!!!
"'I hate drama'."
"I have never heard someone say this, unsolicited, and not been exhausted with their shenanigans within a day."- Spodson
Drama Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphyDefinitely Not Something To Brag About...
"Describes himself as an Alpha Male."
"Tells you implausible stories about how tough he is/how many women he's 'Banged'."
"Yeah, me and you gonna fall out soon buddy."- Johhnymaddog316
Should I?
"'Do you know who I am?'"- Brave_D*ck
A Handshake Is Always The Best Place To Start...
"Where’s my huuuuug?"
"Immediately no."- xPunkdaddy
Come Austin Powers GIFGiphyNever A Good Sign If They Always Need To Declare Who They Are...
"As an empath --"- paramidia
"Good vibes only and 'I’m such an empath'."- Blacklotusispunk
Where To Even Begin...?
"'Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mordor?'"- Calligaster
lord of the rings no GIFGiphyThere's a reason our parents told us to choose our words carefully.
Sometimes the things people say can cause more pain and harm than physical violence of any kind.