It seems like a trope of solely fiction that one of the wedding party would be left alone at the altar, jilted and scorned by their lover.
But all fiction is based in truth. So it must have happened at some point in history. And Reddit seems to exist to reassure us that these things happen way more often than we were lead to believe it does.
Some people really have been left at the altar.
Here were some of those stories.
Everybody BUT The Bride And GroomGiphy
Does it count if the wedding party was left at the altar?
I didn't know the full story of this one until afterwards, I was merely attending due to family obligation, being a teenager at the time. I already knew something up when my Mom grumpily told me we had to go to a wedding and that it was in two weeks. My Mom is the consummate scheduler - there's no way she wouldn't have told me about a wedding months in advance unless it was also a surprise to her.
It's a Wednesday evening after school mind you, and the ambiance is just weird. No one is talking, no one is happy. The bridesmaids and groomsmen are all in nice-looking but clearly unmatched dresses and suits and looking around nervously. I don't know anyone, but my Mom worked with this girl for a few years and said something about showing up to support 'the bride and no one else.' I didn't really get this at the time, being 12-13. The only thing that really seems off to me is how young everyone in the wedding party looks, like, Vincent Adultman young. I go in with Mom, we sit on the bride's side. And wait.
This is before cell phones were popular, so everyone is just kinda murmuring, until finally someone runs in with a letter addressed to the both sets of parents of the bride and groom. I can't see much but I heard the opening of the envelopes followed by one of the Dad's yelling out 'god DAMN it,' making the pastor/father/preacher of whatever run down c-team off-brand Christian church we were in go bright red. The dad proceeded to tell everyone the wedding was 'off' and to 'go home.'
Found out from Mom much later that the Bride and Groom were being forced to get married after the parents caught them having sex. Now, it's already ridiculous to do this in any situation, but there wasn't even a pregnancy involved, both of these people were 19, and it was the 90's. The bridesmaids were all pulled from bride's sisters/female cousins, and groomsmen were groom's brothers/male cousins. No friends, nothing, just forced matrimony straight up.
Apparently the letter said the effects of "Dear Mom and Dad, screw you from the children you'll never see ever again."
They ran off to a different state together to start over. Last I heard they're in their early 40's now, and actually married with kids, and still haven't spoken to their parents since that day.
No One To Tell Her Story
My great great aunt (before I was born, obviously) was stood up at the altar.
We found out when my mother asked her grandmother to help her make a family tree. So great grandma started listing all of her 12 brothers and sisters, but accidentally named a 13th sister, then gasped, then made my mother swear she'd never tell anyone else in the family.
She was stood up at the altar, and soon after committed suicide. Since the family was extremely religious, she wasn't allowed to be buried in the church cemetery, and her name was erased from the family bible. Her memory was wiped from the face of the earth.
Can't Fix A Broken Jerk
In high school one of my friends, Sheri, got pregnant. It was a sort of shotgun wedding. Her parents found out that she was pregnant because they didn't care about privacy or personal space. I actually found out from my mom when i got home from school one day because Sheri's mom told my mom at the grocery store.
Well, Sheri's parents were Christian and insisted that they get married. So the day of the wedding comes, she's about to walk down the aisle with her dad when the grooms cousin that was also our age comes up and says "Sheri, i gotta say something really important. Can i borrow you for a moment." Of course her dad is angry at the rudeness here, but Sheri goes to talk to him anyway. It turned out that the groom was supposed to be wearing a condom, but took it off at the last second without telling her. He had done this with another girl too, and then both times bragged about it to his friends. Sheri believed it 100%, and given the guys character, it's not surprising. She didn't go back to her dad to walk down the aisle, she just got in her car and left... 20 or so minutes later she called the church and had them put her mom on the phone and told her what happened and that there was no way she would marry him even if it means her parents kick her out of their house.
Officiant here. Definitely have had this happen. It is usually pretty awful, and confusing. And it is, in most situations, (except of course same-sex couples) the groom. I've only ever seen the bride skip out on tv.
The party usually waits 10-15 minutes after the designated start time. Then there's an awkward moment, and usually someone gets a call or text, or is sent to deliver the bad news. This generally results in tears, and statements of, "I knew it!" Some folks shuffle the bride off, and then usually Dad or senior member of the family makes an awkward statement.
If there was a reception with a meal planned, folks are either invited to stay and eat or the food is sent to a shelter.
And that's really about it.
My husband and I weren't actually at this wedding (for mutual acquaintances), but a lot of our other friends knew the couple better and had been invited. Coincidentally, we were getting together that evening with some of the friends who were going to the wedding, and that's who we heard the first-hand account from.
Bride and groom stood up in front of the priest to say vows, and groom hesitated. After an awkward pause, he turned away from the bride he'd been facing, said in a low voice, "I just can't do this. I'm sorry." The best man took him by the arm and led him out. The bride was too stunned to say anything, but then her bridesmaids led her away.
There were some kind of meetings in the back of the church and in the bride's room, and the priest came back and announced that the wedding was being canceled. The bride's father tore a program in half and announced angrily that anyone who wanted to partake of the reception was welcome to, since it was paid for.
Strangely, although the couple never did get married, they actually remained friends. How the bride did it, I'll never know. A little more than a year later, the former groom died of a genetic heart condition while traveling overseas. A couple years after that, the former bride went to a sperm bank and had a child and has raised her as a single parent.
Parents Explain Why They Regret The Name They Gave Their Child | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Not For His Own Sake
A distant cousin of mine had a panic attack.
As the bride was approaching I could see his eyes bulging, he was sweating profusely, and when the priest started speaking he begun to shake violently, holding his head down, and then he just walked out. The ceremony did not resume.
He had a history of panic attacks, and it was so sad to watch. He confessed later on (after the divorce 3 months later) that he was just getting married to make his parents happy, and he wasn't sure at all that that's what he wanted
Actually the best. My ex, about 10 years ago. We split, she was fiery. She went to Montreal on a work trip, came back with a fiancee. Him and I grew close, a lot of similarities, and straight up, I was done with her and he was great. Drinking buddy, weed buddy. If see her half often, but never too long.
The wedding rolls around, and I knew inside that she was going to bail. I gave him warning. He legit took the mic and invited everyone to get drunk.
I'm happy to say he met a lady at his own wedding that night. Krista kind of lost her mind when she found out he was good.
She messaged him for a year looking for alimony type payments, but he's a lawyer(now, school then). So no.
Happened to a guy at a company I worked at about 9 years ago. He and his fiance went up to the altar and she had requested a projector to show some of their times together, pictures, etc. He went along with it, only for her to have organised a video of him cheating on her to play instead. Full nudity. She walked away from the altar, refunded his portion of the honeymoon, and went by herself.
Honestly, from what I heard, it was brutal on the guy. The women he cheated on her with was in the audience, too, and was part of the company as his manager. They were both made to resign, as office romances between a manager and their subordinates were not allowed unless the promotion happened while they were seeing each other.
The Worst Luck
From what I know, my great-uncle, so my maternal grandfather's brother, left his designated bride at the altar. The great-uncle, let's call him George, served in WW2 and lived a lavish bachelor style life, were talking high society parties, expensive trips, even a minor scandal or two involved with some married women... It was around 1964, and he was my grandfather's older brother. Great-grandfather was concerned who will run the estate after he's gone, so he decided to take matters in his own hands and find him a wife.
My great-grandmother and her sister were tasked and they found a suitable girl from the right family, let's call her Emma. So Emma and George were introduced at a garden party and my great-grandpa basically told him he's marrying Emma and George was super pissed.
The wedding day came, my grandpa was an usher (this means he escorted his mother and his youngest sister in the church) and he saw everyone looking pristine and perfect, but the groom wasn't anywhere to be seen. George came piss drunk and couldn't stand. When Emma came, he puked right at the priest's feet and left the church, passing right by Emma. He got into his car and that was the last time my grandfather saw him, because he crashed into a tree drunk. Emma later married someone and lived a happy normal life, from what I've heard she wasn't even shaken by George's death.
Grandpa, on the other hand, is still mourning his brother, 50+ years later. Everything fell on him and whenever he retells what happened to George, he tears up.
Ruined By GreedGiphy
I did not experience this one but read it in a newspaper. In India, there's a custom in some states called the dowry system. Bride's father gives cash and expensive gifts to the groom and his parents for marrying his daughter. It started off as voluntary gifts but now people force the brides' side to pay up money. I know. I have four sister-in-laws wed this way. In the society, rebelling against parents or customs is akin to committing social and financial suicide. Still, a courageous girl refused to marry because the groom's father was being too greedy and was asking for more than what her father could afford. When I read it, I cried. I had seen so many families ruined because of this custom.
The world is a big and fascinating place.
What do you genuinely not understand??
Sometimes what you don't understand isn't that crazy of an idea, but it still doesn't make any sense to you.
"Why can I never find my shoes?" for example.
It's A Skill All Mother's Attain
"Why when my mother asks me to go get her something and I can't find it, but when she gets up and looks for it, the thing she asked me to get was right in front of me."
"It's called refrigerator blindness:"
It's A Game We All Play
"The economy, as in I understand everything hypothetically, but have no clue how Im going to implement my "knowledge." Yeah I know how a mortgage works, and I know how taxes work, but what do I do? Just go to the bank and say "1 mortgage please!" I just feel like Im missing something about the "real world" and since Im 17, Im only a couple years off it"
"1 Mortgage please" is just about right lol don't worry you're young. There's still people in their 30s and 40s out there who don't understand these concepts either. Just the thought of you trying to understand these concepts at your age puts you ahead of the curve. Stay curious and always ask questions."
Looking At You, Comments Section...
"When native English speakers can't:"
"Editing so ya'll can stop commenting the same ones:"
A lot of science goes deep into the territory of sounding made up. It's all real, it has to be. Otherwise it wouldn't be something we could study. Yet even with those explanations, to some it feels like there's a bit of fiction behind it.
It's Magic. Only Explanation.
"I know there's grooves but how does a needle going over those tiny grooves make such a specific sound, like the vocals, guitars, drums, keyboards, or any other instrument? And how did people invent this so long ago?"
"I've seen closeups of a needle in a groove but it still doesn't make sense to me how a few ridges can produce these sounds exactly. And how do they even put those specific grooves in there, especially over a century ago."
It Just Keeps Growing And Growing And...
"What's in space and the absolute vastness of it"
"I took astronomy in college only thing I remember is that humans will never be able to comprehend how big space is or the distance"
"From what I know, the speed of light is the limitation we're facing. The light from extremely far away places is expanding faster than the speed of light can reach us so in an infinite amount of time, we'll never get to see or even know about what was there."
All I Know Is You Plug It In And...
"I've read the theory and explanation, even simplified ones and I just still don't understand. I've done some calculations in uni for it and I had to mentally separate that it was electrical theory to understand the equations."
"Definitely black magic."
Maybe go for a walk in the park. Look at some trees. Those are easy to comprehend. No need to stretch your brain to the point of breaking.
"NFT's for me it's just online pictures you speculate with"
"You've figured it out then."
"I really hate the NFT bandwagon, because I still find no sense to it after trying to read about it every chance I get and I feel this is the line that turning me from tech-savvy to the uncle you need to teach how to use his phone."
It's All A Bit Wibbly Wobbly
"to be fair none of us genuinely understand. we're merely pretending to, by making it relative to us. good answer"
"People assume that time is a strict progression from cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff"
No On Really Knows And ISN'T THAT TERRIFYING
"Either it always existed, which is a thermodynamic nightmare which makes no sense because how can a chain of events not have a start, or it did have a start, which is preposterous because time (spacetime) is a PRODUCT of expansion; there literally was no "before" the big bang because there was no time to have a point in to call "before"."
"Ontologically, ONE of these statements has to be at least nominally true, but BOTH are f-cking bananas."
There's ideas, concepts, scientific theories, you can hear and be retaught many times yet still not fully understand. And that's okay. You don't have to understand everything. Just accept we're moving forward, in time, in a universe we don't fully grasp, and move on with your life.
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You know what?
I genuinely like being an adult. I don't exactly like paying bills (who does, right?) but it's nice to know that I have my independence and that there is no one else impeding on my time. When I was a kid, I was very annoyed with the rituals of life, like going to school and seeing the same terrible people each day. Being out and about in the world, being free of these things, has been a game-changer.
But there are things you're never really prepared for, such as the fact that there's always something to do.
We heard more after Redditor Bootyshortsforcorgis asked the online community,
"Adults of Reddit, what part of being an adult caught you completely off guard because no one talks about it?"
"Even when you think..."
"How absolutely constant it all is. Even when you think you're getting a break, like a vacation, you're just doing other adult things you don't normally do in your everyday life."
Like I said... there's always something to do. Yeah, it can get to you sometimes.
"After 40+ weeks..."
"After 40+ years on this planet, you can still be traumatized by something that happened in your childhood."
Time doesn't heal all wounds, people. You know what does? Addressing those wounds. Therapy is important.
"How much I..."
"How much I would need to lie on the floor to make my back feel better."
"That many do not mature or grow up after high school."
Ain't that the truth. It's why I'm glad I no longer live in my old neighborhood.
"Having to decide..."
"Having to decide what to eat for the rest of your life. It can turn into laziness which leads to unhealthy eating. I don't wanna do all that cooking when I can just throw a pizza in the oven. Even though I know deep down I need to eat more veggies and not have food go to waste."
"That you'll spend..."
"That you'll spend a huge portion of your life doing things you really don't want to do (work, cleaning, being around people you don't like)."
Also true. One of the things that I do like about the pandemic? More time at home. I despise commuting. Do not miss it in the least.
"The complete unwillingness..."
"The complete unwillingness of most people to have difficult conversations. Most people would be perfectly happy carrying on like nothing is going on."
"Realizing that your parents were also just trying to figure it all out."
That they are. Many of us have become more forgiving of our parents as a result. Note that this doesn't necessarily apply if someone's parents are or were abusive.
"High school and college..."
"The opportunity to meet people is limited compared to when you were in high school or college.
High school and college provided you with extra activities/clubs to do that helped you meet people with similar mind-sets/interests as you. When you graduate, you lose seeing those people consistently or even at all.
So when you make it to the real world, the friends you did make from those things, aren't as available as they used to be. It can be hard to meet up and do things like you used to."
"You move out..."
"You move out and suddenly realise there are no pens. Your parents have lots of pens, but, you realise they never bought pens, they just had lots of them. Where did all those pens come from? Years of accumulation."
No one said adulthood was easy, but hopefully you'll be a bit more prepared now that you these observations in mind.
As for me... I will never miss being a teen. I'm good where I'm at.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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What if? That could happen. You never know. All thoughts that muddle the mind. It is unhealthy to live life in a vacuum of despair and scare but really... you do never know. And anything can happen.
So! How to proceed. First we must figure out are you scared or cautious? And are those messages getting confused? They are important questions.
It's natural to be concerned in life, and it's smart to be ready, but living in fear is no good. For instance, serial killers exist. In fact several are reading this now. That can't stop us from going outside. Can it?
Redditor u/IgnoreAndScroll404 wanted to chat about all the things that leave us shooketh in life, because maybe, you never know. They asked:
What unlikely event are you terrified will happen to you?
I hate elevators. I'm claustrophobic. I am sure death by elevator is imminent. Has it happened to others? Yes. Will it inevitably happen to me? Yes. I mean maybe. Who can tell.
The EndFail New York Knicks GIF by Indiana PacersGiphy
"Being impaled by a log falling off of the back of a truck, final destination style."
Over Troubled Water...
"A bridge collapsing when I'm driving over it."
"Back in '93 my aunt, uncle, cousin, and I were on a road trip from Illinois to Massachusetts. We drove through NYC and we entered Manhattan on the George Washington Bridge. During that year al-Qaeda had plans of using high powered explosives in New York and one of their targets was the GW bridge. Thankfully the FBI foiled that plot before it could be carried out. I distinctively remember as we were on the bridge I was hoping it wouldn't collapse."
"Die before retirement."
"This. All that crap for nothing. This is why you should avoid overtime even if you love what you do, you're not only giving up time now but also time later. Stress will cut your lifespan down as fast as anything."
"I'm afraid that one day I'll travel to a country that's got a lot of ice. I'll for some reason, cut a hole in the ice so I can jump in. Swim a little and then not be able to rise to the top due to all the ice and can't find the way out! I've had literal nightmares about this."
Clues...clue turnaround GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy
"I'm a woman who watches too much true crime. I'm so riveted when watching, but later in the middle of the night I wake up and repeatedly check the doorway for serial killers."
Danger. Danger is all around us. Even in the house we're in trouble. We're never safe.
The Wavetsunami GIFGiphy
"Dying by tsunami."
"This. I am simultaneously fascinated and terrified of tsunamis. I have dreams about running from tsunamis about once every couple of months, sometimes I survive, sometimes I don't, but its so freaking scary to think about. And yet I also like to look up footage of tsunamis online for some reason, like some kind of Stockholm syndrome."
"A brain aneurism. Thanks, Archer."
Rabies. Despite the fact that I'm vaccinated and the chances are low as hell that I would end up with it if I got a booster shot after exposure."
"It is basically the zombie plague from horror movies. Sure, it turns out the logistics of zombie infection doesn't lead to hoards of zombies roaming the streets. But seriously it's a ridiculous nasty disease. My grandfather worked with the virus as some sort of researcher. I got an illuminating email from him back when I was in school doing a report on rabies. Not my favorite disease by a long shot."
"I am scared a plane will crash into my house. Not actually because of 9/11, I had this fear since before then because of the major event near San Diego California where 2 planes crashed into each other mid-air. Bodies and plane parts etc fell all over a suburban neighbourhood. It's one of my biggest nightmares and still bothers me to think about that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacific_Southwest_Airlines_Flight_182"
Knock me out...Tired Monday GIFGiphy
"Doctors doing things without my permission. Such as while under anesthesia, ignoring my requests for something to not happen, claiming I'm incompetent to make decisions, etc."
Life is a gamble. You gonna play or just wait out your turn? That is a more serious question than you think.
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Capitalism wants to push its workers to work for ultimate productivity--even if that comes at the expense of other things. A worker's well-being has been placed second to their productivity in America for too long. That time is changing now.
Workers are no longer willing to be completely mowed down for a paycheck. Something's gotta give--and either it's the money or the job. And more people are willing to stand up for themselves.
"What was your 'I'm not paid enough for this s**t' moment?"
Here were some of those answers.
Think Of The Children
"Telling a grown a** man that he shouldn't be sh*tting in a school parking lot. I was eating lunch in my car and saw him in the rear view mirror."
"I got out of my car and shouted as loud as I could SIR YOU CANNOT POOP THERE, not to get his attention so much as to make him, you know, not sh*t on the side of my school building. And embarrass him out of doing it again."
"I was pissed off, too, there were two portapotties within sight of where he was."-8dogsinatrenchcoat
"When a customer had a full-blown adult tantrum on the floor of the supermarket I was working at because we were out of red cabbage two hours before we closed on Christmas Eve."
"Mind you that almost everyone eats red cabbage on Christmas here in Germany. To top this off she also threw frozen bread rolls after me because I told her to have her tantrum outside."-Lelexxia
Knowing Your Value
"While working with a client as a consultant employed by a consulting agency. The client tried to hire me full time and offered me triple the salary."
"That was like the wtf moment which made me research the market value of my skills and turned out I was super underpaid. So I left and found a new job straight away."-vegetable-table-man
It's hard to think of ourselves in terms of money, since we aren't made to be consumed for value.
Gotta Love A Truck Stop Moment
"So I'm working this register at a truck stop circa 2011. It's by a door that gets very little traffic so I mostly just watch the gift shop area and try to deter people from stealing."
"It's an overnight shift about 3 am. This man comes barreling in bleeding from his hand and yells 'IVE BEEN STABBED!'"
"Immediately I call for security. My manager is nearby. Security calls 911 on their way and shows up a few moments later. This guy is bleeding profusely, all over my freshly mopped floor mind you."
"I'm off to the side 'Sir where is the stabber?!' My manager is asking for towels, so I bring a clean towel. Again I ask 'SIR, where is the stabber?!'"
"My manager and security are saying stuff like 'Put pressure on it. Go wave down the ambulance when they arrive!' So at this point I'm practically yelling 'There is a stabber on the loose in that parking lot some where and I'm not going out there until I know where he is!'"
"Finally the guy goes 'Oh he was at the truck stop across the street. We got into an argument it wasn't random.' Relieved and now no longer fearing for my safety I went out to wave down the ambulance."
"Unfortunately $8/hr is not enough to get stabbed over."-ItsTylerBrenda
Ice Ice Baby
"I worked at a Starbucks in a grocery store and a customer got mad because she wanted a drink cold but it was served hot.
"The girl taking her order was new and didn't ask her if she wanted hot or cold, I was making the drinks so went with what was on the cup."
"So she threw it at me, while still freshly hot. Burned my face down to my stomach. I was 5 months pregnant. I quit a week later."-Zealou_luv
Sometimes, Spirit Is Inappropriate
"So if you're familiar with Build-A-Bear, you know the happy faces the employees are supposed to have. You might also be familiar with the bear stuffing process."
"You pick a bear, bring it to me, pick a heart and you do a little dance (or whatever else I'd pick) I'd stuff the bear, you put the heart in and I stitch it up."
"There was a couple that came in one night in January 2008. She was extremely pregnant. They came in and pick one of the little blue bears. I asked how they want it stuffed, the normal."
"And then when they pick the heart oh, they also pick one of the fancy hearts that has a heartbeat. Then tell me that their son, who she is still pregnant with is going to be stillborn. And they are making a bear together to give to him to be buried with."
"Obviously, I immediately tone down to the happy-go-lucky bullsh*t. The store was empty so it didn't really matter. And no, I didn't make them do the little dance and wish that you do for most people."
"I finished the bear myself, walk them through the clothing, check them out myself and then close the store. I got written up the next day for not showing the Build-A-Bear spirit. I was 16. I quit and got into a screaming match with that dumba** manager."-enemyoftoast
Mary Mary Quite Contrary
"When the boss said he was going to hire 'Mary' back. Mary, the woman who was fired for having her friends call me with death threats because I wouldn't switch days off with her."
"Mary, the woman he told me he was never in a room alone with because she was 'the type to claim sexual harassment'."
"He hired Mary back and gave her my job after I quit. He was fired 6 months later over the sexual harassment claim filed by . . . . Mary."-jaimystery
We will never put our mental and physical health at risk without being duly compensated.
"I was on a royal navy warship and we'd pulled into Hull UK for a visit. Their dockyard regulations prevented the ship from discharging solids overboard so the total of all the crews toilet flushings were diverted to a holding tank so we could discharge it overboard when back at sea."
"After the crew had been in port for two days, which for most involved copious drinking and then finishing off with a large curry or spicy kebab, the additional load on the system was too much for the circulating pump inside tank."
"The pump was also used pump the contents overboard so needed to be fixed before we went back to sea. Unfortunately I was duty electrician the day the pump failed."
"The contents of the tank was about a foot and half deep! I suited up with waterproofs and copious amounts of duct tape to seal the seams and descended."
"The pump was bolted in place and to free it I had to work with my face about four inches from the liquid curry and beer smoothies as I bent over. I definitely want getting paid enough... But I was given an order and it was my job, so I just got on and did it."-Androm57
"Was working in a large bakery for my first job at 15. Tried to pull a six foot tall baking tray but there's a lip to get the tray over, started to fall on me and caught it with my forearms, burning myself (not terribly, but still not great feeling)."
"Told my boss and showed him my swelling, reddened forearms and asked to go home. He said I could, once I'd mopped out the bottom of all the 10+ freezers and then he left, leaving me alone."
"I left as soon as he did and then rode my bike home to take care of my burns."-therustedrobot
The Donors Need To Be Coralled
"Working for a nonprofit. At a fundraising dinner, a major donor touched my knee then later my butt and flirted heavily. I am a woman and was 25 at the time."
"When I brought it to my supervisor I was told that is just something you have to put up with when fundraising if you want to make the organization money."
"Stayed at that job a few months before I was fired for not being happy enough. Note that after that incident I refused to attend events where the creep would be there.. Can't say I was sad."
"Got a job that paid twice as much and came without sexual harassment. An employment lawyer probably would have loved if I called them, but I lacked the confidence to take that big of a stand."
"Now I would absolutely take action. I would actually probably yell in the moment to get your forking hands off me. Which would have been awkward for him because his wife was present."-smughippie
There you have it. Across the board, people have put their foot down when it comes to work. If you want higher paid work, you need to pay me more.
Let's never settle for less again.