Women Break Down The Least Attractive Qualities That Men Actually Think Make Them Hot
Like male birds with vibrant feathers and complicated mating ritual dances, straight men will go to absurd lengths to win the attention of women.
Go to any bar or club. Scan the room and undoubtedly come across bicep-clenching shirt sleeves and loud male voices screaming into the ear of a less-than-enthusiastic listener on the dance floor.
That's not to say there are plenty of wonderful traits that draw women to men. There's a reason marriage and procreation continues.
But for all those success stories, there are so many instances that involve a man trying to win the heart of a woman using means that are antithetical to what she actually values.
Redditor Londoner421 asked:
"Women, what's the least attractive quality in a man that they usually think is attractive?"
Many women responded by describing the men who apparently feel the need to convince others that they're worthy of attention.
But nobody likes a sales pitch.
Call Now!
"Treating dates like an informercial for themselves." -- zazzlekdazzle
" 'But wait, there's more! Have sex with me within the next 90 minutes and you'll get not one, not two, but THREE extra orgasms! Be the envy of all of your friends with this limited one-time-only offer!' " -- nubsauce87
Wall Flower Opposite
"Over-confidence or the need to show off" -- Glasswall1
"*Famous last words: 'Hey guys! Look what I can do!!'*👍" -- AndringRasew
"TLDR: insecurity" -- lipcrnb
Nobody Cares, Dude
"Bragging about having money" -- lockdownhype
"My love will take you around the world, but my bank account won't get us past the airport." -- InternetKidsAreMean
"Nice. I'm broke af" -- RogueDeku
A Fine Line
" 'Knowing' everything. Sure, intelligence is nice, but it's fu**ing transparent when you start bullshitting just so you don't have to admit there's something you don't know. Especially if I do know it."
-- vikraej
Other women talked about the more toxic elements of masculinity.
Nope.
"Being overly aggressive with other people. Like, you are out at a club with him and he is ready to pick fights with anyone who (he thinks) looks at him or me wrong."
"I think it makes them feel macho but it's a huge turn off for me. It's happened a few times, and the last time I just turned around and took a car home."
Pure Rage
"Expressing the need to be violent without any real cause or hint that they enjoy being violent. It just outright frightens me being anywhere need people that do that."
We Are Not Apes
" 'Alpha male' 🙄" -- justputonsomemusic
"An unstable, early iteration of male. Needs further development and testing before public release." -- DoomCircus
And other women lamented all the men that seem to think attraction is a zero-sum game. These guys apparently felt that the only way to look good is to push a possible "threat" away.
Just Be Nice
"Putting other people down, to make themselves look better."
"No, you are not making yourself look better. You're being a di**."
-- maszah
Again, Nobody Cares.
"The one up man. Almost always dominates the conversation and one ups everyone else's experiences and replies. Shows me you're immature and can't hold a conversation without the focus being on you."
Just Sloppy
"Guys and/or girls who pride themselves on being able to out drink or outsmoke everyone until they're a blubbering mess. Or doing a bunch of drugs."
"They think they're so epic but it's honestly embarrassing when it's a constant and people have to babysit you during a get together."
Hopefully, at least a few men will come across this list and check themselves the next time they feel a fight or a boast welling up.
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The Stupidest Things People Have Ever Done
Reddit user WoF_IceWing asked: 'What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?'
Everyone does stupid things, and it's not limited to when you're young either.
When I was 10, my best friend and I snuck out of her house in the middle of the night and hitchhiked to Tukery Hill for ice cream. I can't even count all the ways that could've gone wrong.
Eight years later, my friend and I drove his new car on the sheets of ice on our college campus, trying to see how fast we could go.
The tires skidded on the ice several times, and back then, we thought it was fun.
The stupidity spurred on by impulsivity doesn't ever truly go away.
Redditors can attest to that, as they are sharing what may be the stupidest things they've ever done.
It all started when Redditor WoF_IceWing asked:
"What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?"
Stranger Danger, Anyone?
"Maybe not the dumbest but I got into a random person's car without thinking. I was trying to catch the bus and the guy offered to give me a ride to the nearest bus stop. Got lucky that he was just trying to be a good Samaritan."
– yeetgodmcnecha**
"I did this once. It was a bright Sunday morning and pedestrian was walking briskly in the direction I was driving. Offered a lift. She got into the car and I realised what was happening when she asked me, "where do you want to go?""
""Umm, I can drop you off somewhere but we aren't going somewhere together.""
"Felt so stupid. But a pedestrian still got a lift to their place of business so I suppose it worked out!"
– NickyDeeM
"Oh god I did something like this. I stayed at the uni campus drinking with friends, and it got late. I live outside the city where public transport only works until certain hours and I missed the last bus. A dude in a car offered to take me closer to my town for the equivalent of 1 f**king dollar, and as soon as I got in the car, I noticed he f**king REEKED of tequila."
"He drove like a... a**hole the whole way, while picking up other people on a similar situation as mine. We were all scared as f**k. Then he dropped me at an intersection where I could walk to my house, and that was it. No idea if they all made it to their houses."
– kourier6
Cheater, Cheater
"Stayed with an ex after she cheated, just leave folks there's no fixing that sh*t."
"Edit: I'm legitimately depressed that so many of you related to this, hope things have gotten better!"
– Masonaut9
"Second this. He just went on to cheat with a different girl a few months later. When a person shows you who they are the first time, believe them."
– MeasurementFluid994
"Yep, same here, bud. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She was my first true love, and I was blinded by that. She told me and I still took a train and a bus in a blizzard 6 hours to see her. One of the most painful decisions I ever made. Then in my next serious relationship, it happened again, but she had the decency to break up with me because she wanted to keep f**king the guy she cheated on me with."
– Sambizzle17
Death Traps
"Drove my motorcycle down the road at 110 MPH while I was drunk because the girl on the back wanted me to go faster. I was much, MUCH younger than I am now, but it still makes me queasy when I think what could have happened that day. Very, very stupid."
– pliving1969
"I was once one of those girls on the back of the bike. Driving drunk through the Colorado mountains at night, drunk and going fast. That was 15 years ago now. One of the most stupid things I've ever done."
– karebear111
Inventors
"As a 10-year-old, tried to make a homemade grenade, added in airsoft bebes for shrapnel. Thing ended up blowing up in my hand, luckily I didn't have any major injuries"
– RED54115
"I was 8, wanted to make a flaming watering can(?), filled it up 50/50 gasoline water mix, went to garden to water some plants… well emergency response was very fast."
– -2fa
"I had a similar experience as a kid, filled up a bottle of gas from a lighter, stupid little me hand my hand at the opening as I was lighting it so burned my hand quite painfully. I just wanted to make a rocket."
– Pedropie420
"I made a bomb from tightly wrapped gunpowder and a waterproof fuse. I gave it to a friend who took it to high school. I have no idea why we thought that was a good idea. Fortunately, only my parents found out so there were no long-term repercussions."
– fsamuels3
Let's Climb
"Friends and I, super drunk (ya, that's a shock) decided to scale a greenhouse... in the middle of thunderstorm then took turns holding the lightning rod (kinda super low probability russian roulette). The most dangerous part wasn't the above though. It was the getting down from the 3 story high building while it was pouring rain and still slick."
"Honestly surprised we escaped with only some scrapes."
– DiscoInfernus
Quite An Expense
"I bought a house in an attempt to save a failing relationship. The relationship still failed and I ended up with a house (by myself) that I could barely afford payments on and could not afford maintenance."
"Ended up short-selling it. Glad it is over...that includes the house as well."
– freezingprocess
What A Surprise
"I put my hand on a stove once to see if it was hot. It was."
– canuckbuck2020
"My dad did that when he was little. He did it again with the other hand when he was a little older."
– Jungleman6
Curiosity Sounded The Alarm
"I pulled a fire alarm in a motel when I was 5 because I wanted to know what would happen. My parents panicked, whole fire department showed up, I got scolded by the fire chief."
– TheGamingMackV
"Curious about a red button. So I pushed it. It was the emergency stop for an escalator. People stumbled. No one hurt. My dad standing next to me saw people stumbling, looked at me, realized what happened, and said “Let’s go.”"
– King_Ralph1
Ouch!
"I broke my arm playing high school football. I then cut the cast with hedge clippers 2 weeks early to play a pickup football game with friends. I obviously broke it again, much worse. I now have a metal plate and 16 screws in my arm."
– aineperson578
Electrocution Avoided
"A piece of toast broke off inside my toaster and I dug it out with a metal fork. It wasn't until years later I realized how stupid that was."
– Wutchu_fitna_fuc_wit
"I did that. Tripped the circuit breaker for the whole house lol. Very lucky that breaker tripped instead of me, the plastic handle probably helped."
– Quarkly95
"This sounds fake I promise it’s true."
"When I was a kid I used to stick a butter knife in the toaster and poke at (what I think was) the coils because I thought it was cool how it sparked. Wasn’t until years later that I learned NOT to f**kin do that. I don’t know how I never got electrocuted."
– International_Net693
I Did It To Myself
"Gave myself a concussion.I pulled as hard as I could on a bungee cord that I was using to tie down some stuff on my truck,cord broke het my face with metal end and my fist... couldn't see straight for over a week."
– Scrapalicious
Luck Of The Groom
"I got drunk while rafting for my bachelor party and jumped off a cliff. Well, more of a really steep hill of dirt, but it was a good 75 feet tall."
"I survived unscathed, but the guys that tried to stop me apparently thought if my uncoordinated self could do it, anyone could."
"So, one of my guests broke a toe and one of my groomsmen cracked his back. He ended up standing in a back brace, but other than that he was fine."
– graveybrains
Yikes!
Like I said, we all do stupid things!
Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.
Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.
Customer service can be a downright toxic job.
And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.
Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.
That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.
Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:
"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"
I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!
I loathe them!
Oh Dear
Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphyI used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."
"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"
"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."
slappy_mcslapenstein
The Crappy People
"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."
"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."
11catsinahumansuit
"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"
Sharp-Demand-6614
Go to Holiday Inn
"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."
cryptnificent
"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."
"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."
ItsBobFromLumbridge
Heartless
"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."
Rizza1122
"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."
Less-Storage
Go to Home Depot
You Are Dumb Patrick Star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."
Eattherich187
Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.
There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.
Switcharoo
Drag Race What GIF by TAZOGiphy"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."
A Little Sunshine
"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."
Axel_Dunce
"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."
Ok-Ad-7247
LELU
"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."
"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."
MidniteMischief
Cookies!!
"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."
"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."
Frequent-Selection91
Look in the Back
"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."
"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."
A_Womans_Thoughts
From the Box
Kaitlin Olson Brunch GIF by The MickGiphy"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."
SailorVenus23
Sunny D and champagne?!?!
What in the name of Lucifer?
Who does that?!
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
For anyone who has attempted to adopt a new habit, like rising earlier or exercising or eating healthier, they've likely heard the advice to make the change a little at a time, rather than trying to do it all at once.
Because truly, sometimes it's those smaller choices that make all the difference.
Redditor robbbala asked:
"What life hack changed your life?"
Alcohol Elimination Diet
"If you’re trying to lose weight, eliminate alcohol from your diet."
- dem4life71
"Uggghhhhhhhhh. F**k you, man. I know. I KNOW."
- r_u_ferserious
The Importance of Good Sleep
"When I was 16, I made the life-changing discovery that if I sleep eight or more hours before school, it will suck less. I've been doing it ever since."
- Princessss5
"I keep the same sleep schedule every day no matter if I work or not."
"I fall asleep right away and get better sleep from it."
- chaedog
Be a Good Example
"'Just because someone is doing it wrong shouldn't stop you from doing it right."
- in-a-microbus
"I'm a building inspector and I regularly run into guys who are doing something wrong and when I explain to them how it's supposed to be done according to the code, they always say, 'I've been doing it that way for over 20 years.'"
"I always respond, 'Well, I guess you've been doing it wrong for over 20 years.'"
- lukewwilson
Be One with the Sim
"When you're stuck in a rut of not being able to take care of yourself, I pretend I'm a Sim and someone is controlling me to fill all my bars back to green."
"For some reason, it works. It even works with cooking and doing the dishes. It's kinda fun to feel like you're leveling up in cooking or writing or something, too."
- Tired_tall
"This is how I’ve gotten by as an adult so far. Learned how to turn off the fear response sort of in order to get things done. Go into it mechanically, and deal with my anxiety later."
"Pretending to be confident does wonders. It doesn’t teach you how to handle personal struggles on your own, though. Still gotta figure that one out."
- TinyChaco
Become a Social Media Influencer
"Lol (laughing out loud), when I don’t feel like doing something, like a household chore, I’ll say, 'Hey guys, welcome back to my channel' like a blogger and pretend I’m showing people. It's stupid but sometimes it works."
- Ok-Mechanic9136
"Directions unclear. I used a meme as a model, and now my kitchen is on fire."
- jlp120145
Helpful Apps
"For fellow gamers: I've been using this app called Habitica. You have a little pixel avatar with health and experience bars and completing tasks will raise your experience while continuing bad habits will affect your health."
- WitherWithout
"It works when trying to make friends, too. You have to actually do stuff with people to fill your friendship bar. You have to compliment and say nice things and do your best to actually connect with them. And three to five interactions and activities really do help a friendship solidify."
- HarrisonRyeGraham
A Capsule Closet in the Laundry Room
"Buying one color of socks and undershirts saves so much time on laundry."
- kukukele
"Even better, buy also the same model of socks, so you don't even have to sort them."
- FireBone62
Pick Your Battles
"Care less."
"It leads to less stress and generally makes you better at what you’re doing. Also, caring less tends to help set boundaries, you’ll say yes to less nonsense when you don’t care."
- TurboEthan
"My friend and I always say we only have so many f**ks to give in this lifetime so choose wisely."
- starcielizabeth
The Importance of Exercise
"Exercise. Oddly enough this gets a lot of crap on Reddit sometimes, but it is an excellent depression treatment. Numerous studies have shown this and it's been shown to be just as effective at treating mild to moderate depression as medication is but without any side effects."
"People are not made to sit in front of screens all day. Just get out and walk for 30 to 45 minutes a day and it's super helpful. If you do weight training on top of that, it's a bonus."
- throwaway_4733
An Effective Evening Routine
"This is super basic, but preparing my kids' lunches and outfits in the evenings for the next day has massively reduced my morning stress level."
- mejok
"Setting out my next day's clothes at night is so great. Whether I wake up fresh as a daisy or groggy, I don’t have to make a decision, because it’s already made."
- ccx941
Useful Automation
"Automate everything you can. Bill pay, calendar reminders for taking the garbage out, schedule the dentist a year out etc. Not having to spend mental energy remembering to do stuff makes life WAY better."
- brycebgood
Clean Space, Clean Mind
"Not really a hack, but carving out a couple of hours on the weekend to clean out my car and place. Cleaning it all. Really made me feel better about myself."
- JMT2492
"It is surprising how some self-discipline helps mental health, at least in my experience. Helps my mind feel less cluttered if that makes any sense."
- B3TST3R
Understanding Anxiety
"Understanding most of my anger issues were actually caused by anxiety. Lack of control of a situation doesn't mean I need to mentally produce a solution, and act out emotionally when the situation doesn't go the way I expect."
"Shrugging and saying, 'I guess we're just going do it the dumb way today,' is so much less stressful than freaking out because I'm not in control. I just go with the plan unless it's going to get someone hurt. It's been years since I remember being angry at work, I still get disappointed but it doesn't ruin my day."
- Dizzy-Particular-258
Keep Reminding Them
"Go to the Dollar store. Buy three or four cards you can write 'I love you' in. Randomly give your partner one every once in and a while. Bonus points if you put them somewhere they’ll easily find them when you’re not there."
"It’s the little things."
- Chicagostupid
Gratitude Before Remorse
"Express gratitude instead of remorse, whenever possible. People enjoy gratitude and generally don't know what to do with remorse (and kind of feel like they're now responsible for making you feel better)."
"I.e. don't say, 'Sorry I'm late,' say 'Thanks for your patience,' and don't say, 'Sorry for bothering you,' say 'Thanks for your time.'"
- AWildRapBattle
Though each of these tasks are seemingly simple in and of themselves, it's clear from these Redditor's accounts that they've made a serious change in their lives.
Sometimes it's truly the smallest stone that makes the biggest ripple!
When we were much younger, we thought we could get away with anything.
To cover up something we did that we as children inherently knew was wrong, we may have said something that wasn't true to make us seem more innocent than we actually are.
It doesn't always go as planned, however, and hopefully, that was a good lesson to learn while the consequences are less harsh and people are more forgiving.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Drizzho asked:
"What is a 'little' lie that backfired on you when you were younger?"
These young students who thought they could get away with lying got schooled for their dishonesty.
Scholastic Setback
"Not sure if it's a lie, but in a big state-wide exam day in the 3rd grade the teachers said if you finished your test you go to recess for the rest of the day. I filled in random answers so fast and had the best day ever."
"The test results came back and I was put into special needs classes for 4th and 5th grade before anyone realized I wasn't developmentally disabled."
– hamletreset
Skipping Homework
"In fifth grade I wasn’t doing my homework and I got home from school one day to my mom and mamaw sitting in the living room with serious looks on their face. My mom told me to sit down and said that the school called and told them that I hadn’t been turning in my work. I instantly started crying and said that I had been turning in my work, just not my homework."
"They would always ask if I was doing my homework and I’d say yes even thought I wasn’t."
"My mom said, 'Okay, well you better start doing it.' And then proceeded to tell me that the school never called, she just knew I hadn’t been doing my work."
"Another time when I was fifteen my mom told me to fold the fitted sheets and I said that I would. I thought she was on the back porch so I just shoved them into the storage container and she was sitting right behind me watching me lol."
– RandomLurker04
Fake Pregnancy
"Told my kindergarten teacher that my mom was 'going to have a baby.' Not sure why. My mom volunteered at the school so when she came in a few days later, my teacher hugged her all excitedly and went "congratulations!" She had even gotten my mom a card and everything."
"It was really awkward when my mom was super confused and then had to explain to my teacher that she wasn't really pregnant."
– princessedaisy
Failing To See It Through
"I had an eye appointment in grade 2 and I told my teacher my vision was so amazing that the eye doctor said I had 40/40 vision. It was actually 20/20, but I fibbed and thought 40/40 sounded better."
"She made me read the next chapter of the book in front of the whole class because I had excellent vision."
– 19VWGTI
You can't always fool your parents.
Tongue Clicker
"My parents told me I clicked my tongue in my sleep so that when I pretended to be asleep I would click my tongue and they’d know I was awake."
– AcademicNose7
Leaving A Mark
"I wrote my sister’s name on the closet wall in crayon. I told Mom and tried to frame her. She said my sister can’t write yet. I still remember how stupid I felt for pulling that stunt. But it makes me smile, remembering. I will have to ask Mom if she remembered that. I noticed years later, she never painted over it."
– Ok-Essay-2352
Bad Liar
"In 6th grade, we had weekly behavior reports or something like that. It was weird. Had to get them signed and turned in every Monday morning. I was horrible at remembering to get my parents to sign it."
"One Monday morning, I realized I forgot to get it signed before my parents left for work, so I thought I could get away with forging my mother's signature. After the 10th try with a pencil, I was proud of how similar it looked! Turned it in that morning not thinking about all of the eraser marks left behind from my previous attempts."
"That night during a conversation with my mother, she looked at me and said, 'I'm really glad you got that report turned in on time today. It's funny how I don't remember signing it.' And then she left it at that. I immediately knew I was caught and the guilt ate me alive until I slipped a note under my mom's pillow confessing to my crime. Never heard anything about it, but I quickly learned I'm bad at lying."
– ComplexWest8790
Authorities had to get involved in order for the truth to come out.
No Mickey D's For You
"When I was young, was at a daycare for the summer, along with younger sister and brother. One day, early afternoon, I'm hungry after mom picks us up and ask if we can get McD's. Mom says no, I can wait for dinner. I insisted, 'but I'm hungry...' and then lied and said 'they forgot to feed me.' I claimed I was in the bathroom or something during lunch so I didn't get any.
"My mom went ballistic. She called the daycare right then, sitting in the car (early days of cellphones) and gave them hell. After she hung up - just as I was thinking I won - she declared we were not going to McD's, and I'd just gotten myself grounded for lying, to boot, and how embarassed she was at having just yelled at staff who had been good to us just because I wanted McD's, and that I owed them an apology the next morning."
"Not only did the daycare staff know they gave me lunch, they knew which of the 2 sandwich options I had eaten and exactly how many pieces (quarter-of-a-sandwich sized) I had eaten."
"Lesson learned, kids: don't lie. The truth will always come out and bite you in the @$."
– TellMeRUThatSomebody
Hard Evidence
"I forgot my keys and got locked out of the house in like seventh grade, Usually I'd just wait on the porch, read and do my homework because locked myself out at least twice a month, but it was a long day and I was tired, so I donkey kicked the door."
"When my mom and stepdad came home they asked why the door was broken and I said I didn't know, it was like that when I got home..So they called the police and the police matched my shoe to the shoe print."
"luckily I was generally a good kid and wasn't one for lying, so I just got yelled at a bit."
– MarshmallowFloofs85
Foul Ball
"Holy sh*t my story was incredibly similar! I broke a window playing soccer and lied that a burglar broke in. Police showed up and found the ball in the living room and put two and two together."
– Martini_b13
Prank Gone Wrong
"When I was elementary school age, my parents left me home alone while they went to pick up my sister from a school event. I thought it would be funny to prank 911. I called and said “There’s an escaped murderer in my house!” and hung up, laughing at my funny joke. I got an immediate call back. I panicked and answered the phone and hung up. They called back. So I tried to unplug the landline."
"Just as the police were pulling up, my parents pulled up too. The police pulled a gun on my dad and made him prove he lived there. I was so scared of getting in trouble, I made up a story that a man knocked on the door and tried to force his way in. I told them it was a white man with a dark beard and he ran off in the cornfield. I don’t think my parents ever knew I made it all up."
"The next day, the Oklahoma City bombing happened and I thought it was God punishing people because he was mad at what I did."
– Skr000
Of course the one time I fibbed in fifth grade, my teacher who knew about my deception right away shamed me in front of the whole class.
When she asked us who read the assigned short story, I raised my hand even though I didn't read it.
She called on me and asked me what I thought of the ending and how the character's situation might relate to me.
My blank stare said it all, and she singled me out in front of everyone and I had to write standards on the chalkboard, writing, "I will not lie to my teacher and I will do my homework."
I still haven't read the short story, but I never lied to my teachers ever since.