Time to lawyer up!
As we see from shows like Better Call Saul, being a lawyer can introduce you to a wide array of characters going through the legal system. A lot can go down as justice is being served, and some of these cases are too crazy to believe.
69LUL asked: Lawyers of Reddit, what was the weirdest case you worked on?
"Our client saved a woman who had drowned at the edge of a lake. She didn't have a pulse. Our client pulled her ashore and gave her CPR, as he was the only adult in the area and the only person certified to give CPR. This was about 12 - 15 miles from the nearest hospital, so if he didn't act she would die. During the course of the chest compressions, he bruised two of her ribs and cracked another (this is actually fairly common when performing CPR).
He was able to resuscitate the woman, saving her life. She survived with no long-lasting damage whatsoever, which was extraordinarily lucky.
2 months later she filed suit for damages (alleging battery). Which, I mean, ok, he did cause your cracked ribs. But also, without him your two young kids would be down a parent and would have watched their mom die. So, you know, dick move.
Thankfully his care was considered reasonable in the jurisdiction so he was protected by local good samaritan law. The suit was dismissed."
That's enough to make you quit.Giphy
"When I was a baby lawyer, one of our clients received a subpoena for business records from a pro per plaintiff ("PPP") (a plaintiff who's representing himself or herself in litigation). The litigation was in connection with a business dispute that was headed toward mediation. We were involved because the PPP formerly worked for our clients and decided to leave and take some business with him. After he left, he got into a business dispute with one of the customers he took with him and decided to subpoena business records from his old employer (my client) to help with his case and countersuit.
The PPP would send a demand letter a week and came to my office a few times to meet. He was pretty aggressive and threatening in all of our interactions but most pro se or pro per litigants are so I wasn't overly concerned. Given that our interests were aligned, I worked closely with the attorney representing the customer who was directly involved in the litigation. He was an older, well-respected attorney in town.
Fast forward a couple of months and I get a call from a friend at the older attorney's firm. Unsurprisingly, the PPP lost at the mediation on both his claims and the counterclaims made by the customer. Apparently, after the mediation was over, he went out to his car, grabbed a gun and shot both the older attorney and the CEO of the customer who was attending the mediation. He then went on the run from the police. I think the total amount at stake was around $20,000—really senseless.
As soon as I learned about the shooting, I alerted our building security to be on the lookout for the PPP. He was found the next morning with a self-inflicted gunshot in a parking lot. Later that afternoon, I got a call from the police department who said my address and the address of the CEO of my client was in the PPP's car. Not sure why I needed to know that information, but whatever. Shortly after that, I decided to switch to transactional work."
She didn't even use a lawyer.
I work at a law firm. There's a case where a crazy lady's neighbor was allowed to have chickens in their yard. So she bought pigs, and the HOA or city stepped in and made her get rid of them. It was a suburban area.
In retaliation, this lady buys 5,000 chickens from Tyson and unleashed them into her half acre backyard. The chickens all die, obviously. She sued the trucking company that brought the chickens for "defective chickens" and negligent infliction of emotional distress because her daughter had to view the "gore" of 5,000 dead chickens in her back yard. she was pro se of course.
A 20 year saga.
"I had a case where the plaintiff told me he caught Adolph Hitler and that he won the Medal of Honor. His attorney missed court a lot, once because her pet duck had a nostril infection.
The transaction was for approximately 6 million and when I asked him whether he had applied for financial help, he stated that he'd asked "an Irishman" for a loan. He could not identify the specific Irishman.
This case lasted in the NYS Supreme Court from 1995-2015. I miss it, it was so much fun."
Sounds like she tried to take advantage of the system.Giphy
"One time I defended an apartment complex who was sued by a blind tenant for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act. Plaintiff's gripe was she wanted a parking spot right in front of her door.
Obviously, plaintiff was not capable of driving and didn't have a car. She wanted the parking spot in case friends came over.
She didn't want them to have to walk as far to get to her apartment.
The part that made it really weird was she already had an assigned parking spot like 3 feet away from the one she was demanding. She wanted the absolute closest parking spot to her door or it was discrimination even though she didn't own and couldn't operate a car."
"Defective vape rig exploded in a guys pocket and burned his penis off of his body.
The settlement was very large. Discovery and reviewing medical records was extremely graphic and disheartening. I cannot imagine the anguish this man went through. Living without a penis from age thirty onwards would be an absolute nightmare."
That was a wild ride from start to finish.
"A long time also I used to do some relationship property work (who gets what stuff after a couple splits up). In one case I represented the woman. Her ex partner was self-represented, and he was totally crazy.
He used to write long letters to my firm, addressed to the managing partner (who was a commercial lawyer, not a litigator, so he had nothing to do with the case). The letters always explained at some length that he was physically perfect, over six feet tall, and a genius wth an IQ of 150, and that he would "unleash the dogs of war" and crush us all if we opposed him.
Speaking of dogs, one of the main aspects of his case is that he said that after he and my client split up he bought a dog, then the dog died in a car crash because he was so sad after the break up that he crashed his car, so now my client owed him money for the three years with worth of dog food he'd supposedly bought.
He used to ring me up and scream at me over the phone. He'd get naked and throw rocks at his neighbour's property. My client was terrified of him and even I used to peer out of the elevator before leaving work at night In case he was waiting for me.
The file was closed after he got drunk and choked to death on his own vomit at a party.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!Giphy
"The Day I learned that not everything on Jerry Springer is fake.
I was a prosecutor for a couple of years. I was prosecuting a woman (Stripper) who hit another woman (sex worker) in the head with a meat cleaver - several times. The defendant worked as a stripper. She lived with a man who was a pimp (he looked like the stereotype you see in the movies). The woman that got hit with the meat cleaver was one of his prostitutes. The pimp was having relations with both, at the same time - thus there was some bad blood.
Well, they get invited to be on Jerry Springer and they all agree to go. Huge fight happens (we are talking multiple fights where clumps of hair are coming out). Stripper tells sex worker on the Jerry Springer show, that if sher ever comes around the house again that Stripper will kill her.
Well you guessed it, sex worker comes by the house when they get back. Stripper hits her with a butcher's knife in the head, several times. Hooker lives. Stripper gets convicted of aggravated battery. (Note: I did not do the charging in the office so another attorney charged the defendant with Aggravated Battery rather than Attempted Murder).
Court reporters are probably the calmest people you will meet in a court room. They rarely show emotions. The court reporter taking the plea was very attractive. During the entire please hearing, the Pimp was staring at her the court reporter the entire time. It was so bad, I was getting creeped out. The court reporter bolted from the court room the moment the hearing was over because she was completely grossed out by the dude.
After the attack (but before the plea hearing) - they got invited back to appear on the Springer show. They went two more times. It was an absolute shit show - only appeared on the Too Hot for TV videos. Somewhere around here I have the old VHS copy of the three appearances."
They ate their words.
"One of the car dealerships my dad worked for had a commercial in the 80s where they used a guy dressed up in a gorilla outfit and the dealership had a whole jungle theme. In one of the commercials they said like come down and get a new "whatever car it was" for 10,000 bananas.
Some guy showed up with a truck full of 10,000 bananas the next week and wanted the car. It ended up in court and the banana guy won from it being deemed false advertisement."
Now THAT'S a case.
"I had a case where a drug dealer client referred another drug dealer my way for representation on his drug dealing charges. This is all quite some time ago and largely contained in police reports and courtroom testimony, so there's nothing privileged here.
He comes to my office, we sit down and exchange pleasantries and he starts to spin out his yarn. He starts by saying, "I don't know if you know this..."
"But you're kind of a big deal?" I say, with a bit of a wink and a nod.
"Exactly," he says, dead serious. I die a little on the inside.
He goes on to tell me that he and his wife were preparing to go on a vacation down to Vegas, but before heading to the airport they decided that they needed to wash their dog and eat some magic mushrooms. Apparently the dog escaped from the shower and broke their glass shower door, which left a huge bleeding gash on my client's arm.
Seeing that they were to be late to the airport, they threw everything they needed into a suitcase, did a line of blow, and headed off.
At the airport, TSA notices my client acting suspiciously in the security line, in that he is bleeding from an open wound and gnashing his jaw like he's working through a pack of big league chew in one go. They take him aside and search his luggage. Inside they find 10-20k of loose cash and a pile of blood covered clothes, as well as an apothecary bag full of uppers, downers, siders, and everything else you would need for a trip to Vegas.
In the little security detention area, my client decides that he's hot and he takes his pants off. For some reason this also necessitates him to stand on the bench where he should be sitting. This is how the real police found him on the handoff from TSA.
So we're back in my office now. This guy is buttoned up, you know? White collar, long black high-quality trench. Sober disposition, besides the incredibly obvious cocaine-induced narcissism.
"I want to take this to the mat!" he exclaimed, fueled by righteous indignation. "I need you to beat this for me!"
You see, the problem with narcissism - true, unmedicatated, cocaine-fueled narcissism - is that it is impossible for the narcissist to be wrong. It is incredibly difficult to represent someone like this.
Eventually I got him a sweetheart of a plea deal that I had to twist his arm into taking. Quantities were for personal use, etc., do some treatment, everything goes away.
There is one stand-out moment from a conversation he decided to have with the judge during one court appearance. "Are you employed, sir?" asked the Judge. To which my client replied, "Yes, I'm an...off-paper partner in a restaurant." Whatever that means. Sure doesn't sound like you're doing anything illegal there. The judge just rolled his eyes and let it go. One more rich junkie.
About a year later the guy got picked up again. Not quite as dramatic this time. Motor vehicle stop for poor driving, found tons of drugs and loose bullets in the car, just sort of rolling around on the floor. Client ended up firing me when I recommended that he get some actual treatment, end of story. Not sure how it all turned out for him."
Some people never quit.
"Every lawyer worth his/her salt has a pro se plaintiff story. All of them are probably the lawyer's weirdest.
Mine is no different. Pro se plaintiff sued an engineer who performed a home inspection following severe winds in Texas and wrote a report for the insurer that no wind damage occurred.
She sued the engineer. Now, no lawyer would take the case because it was frivolous and lawyers get sanctioned for filing frivolous lawsuits. So she filed it herself.
In that petition, she outlined a ceiling fan coming loose and killing her cat; that she had a summer wardrobe that got soot on it from ... I have no idea; the name of her dog - she also said that sometimes her dog would act up and she would roll up a news paper and teach her dog a lesson, but rest assured, she loved her dog; that she was a good Christian woman and sang in her church; her favorite color was pink; and 63 other pages of "facts" that, as you have guessed, have absolutely nothing to do with wind or engineering...
Her case was dismissed because she did not attach an affidavit Texas requires when you sue an engineer.
She did not let that go... nope. She filed an appeal.
She lost that appeal.
She filed a petition to the supreme court - alleging that the court of appeals had no fucking idea what they were doing, that they were super corrupt and in league with the trial court judge to deprive her of her rights.
The supreme court denied to get her review.
She then filed about 6 more insane things with the supreme court and the court of appeals before they threatened to hold her in contempt if she filed anything else of a frivolous nature.
So some $50,000.00 in legal fees and a year of time later - there was a final end to it all... legal fees would have only been $3,500.00 or so if we ended with the dismissal.
This is why any lawyer worth his/her salt would MUCH prefer to deal with another lawyer on the other side - the insane amount of unnecessary legal fees expended in dealing with pro se plaintiffs is egregious. Yes, they are easy cases to win. But they take a lot of effort that frankly, I'd rather spend on reddit or something."
We feel guilty for laughing.Giphy
"This middle-aged, alcoholic woman died in bed one day. Her husband had sort of given up on her, just letting her do her thing: sleep in and go to the store to buy a carton of white wine every day. She would then lay in bed and drink a gallon of wine every single day.
He came home and found her unconscious on the bed. When she wouldn't wake up (he described her as cold and sorta stiff), he raised her to a sitting position and tried to give her some water, but it all spilled down her gown.
He proceeded to call their son, who came straight away. They didn't know what to do with her, so they carried her out, sat her in the car - taking care to fasten her seat belt.
They then drove to the ER and the husband went to the reception and said »my wife sits in the car, dead«.
Cue personnel running on the double, hauling the long dead, wet wife from the car and trying to revive her.
Case was about »indecency with a corpse« but was of course closed due to lack of mens REA.
I've worked on many strange cases, but this one is kinda sticks out to me because it is both funny and sad, and because even if it would normally be a crime feeding a corpse and driving it around, it was done in confusion and out of love for this poor woman."
"NYC teacher has to go to jury duty. While going through security, his backpack is found to have a cigarette box stuffed with 20 glassine envelopes of heroin.
Because he has tenure, he is entitled to a hearing where he is obviously fired. He files a lawsuit to get the termination reversed... and SUCCEEDS! Thank God for appeals.
Our appeal wins and the decision is reversed so the heroin addict thankfully is not teaching your kids."
"Lawyer in the hospitality industry. My firm had a case where Plaintiffs sued our client because they (Plaintiffs) claimed they brought their baby into our client's pool, another baby shat in the pool, and their baby got salmonella as a result (there was no evidence that the other baby even had salmonella).
Their baby ended up being fine with no lasting health effects and we won on summary judgment."
"I started my career in juvenile court, handled a lot of abuse cases. Some were out of control, but one in particular, mom and step dad used and sold heroin, there was physical and sexual abuse, and all of it was verified by findings from child services and a guardian ad litem. Not to mention the mountain of evidence and witnesses.
Mom goes to the bishop of her (Mormon) church and next thing I f**kin know child services is pushing unsupervised parent time even though i have a court order forbidding it. The kid's teacher was sneaking her in to see him at school because she was a member of mom's f**kin ward. Social workers are leaving him alone with her during supervised parent time because she's surely a good mom. She's suddenly got this very high priced lawyer who, at one point in court, calls me out on not being mormon. The kid's development rapidly backslides.
After that it just devolved into this surreal and insane fight, like I was the villain, personally. Her husband threatened the lives of my witnesses and they started dropping out and I couldn't get anyone to support them. Her husband blocked me in the court parking lot one day, and looked me in the eye while brandishing a shot gun. When I finally left he tried following me (but I lived far far away).
At one point in a hearing on the protective order, and the attorney for child services gets riled up and screams as loud as she can "THIS FAMILY IS BEING REUNITED WHETHER UTAHRAPTOR LIKES IT OR NOT."
I didn't like it. And they won't be. But sweet tap dancing Moses, it should not have been that hard or horrible."
If you don't have any experience with construction, it can be pretty interesting to watch those reality HGTV shows (I know I'm addicted at this point). Some of the best episodes can be the one's where they open up the walls to find the builder didn't do anything right, causing a huge blow to the budget. The drama!
As someone who doesn't know much about building, and is dreaming of homeownership, Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked a question I wish I had thought of first.
Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked:
"Home inspectors of reddit, what are some horrible things that almost went unnoticed?"
Here's some horror stories that shed a little light on the home owner unknowns.
Behind the closet wall.
"Going through a home with [the] home inspector, didn't find any issues, bring my dad in to look through the house too and he was [incessantly] checking everything. Looks at the Zillow listing with the floor plan, measures the basement, finds out the actual measurements smaller than the floor plan which led us to go looking in a closet and realize they finished a wall and closet around the old oil tank, never decommissioned it, never planned to tell anyone about it, and we would have had to rip walls out to get to it to remove it. It was a non starter and we walked away. So happy to have my dad's sharp eye while home shopping."
If you need a good prank idea when you're renovating, here's one:
"I saw a post once, this guy said his dad's house had a diagonal outer wall and he was installing a combination wall and bookshelf to square the room. Since there was a small dead space on one side, the dad (who was a doctor), got a life-size plastic human skeleton from work and tossed it in there."
"So if someone tore the wall out to remodel in 30 years or whatever, they'd see it and freak out."
Man cave mayhem.
"Not a home inspector, but I did ask our home inspector what crazy stuff he had seen over the years. He had two stories."
"He inspected a modest three bedroom house and found that were very strange structural cracks in the walls. The area where the house was built is primarily clay soil which leads to a lot of foundation issues, but these were really abnormal cracks. He headed to the attic to wrap up his inspection; it was located over the garage so there was absolutely no structural support there. He poked his head up into the attic and couldn't believe his eyes: the owner had a fully furnished man cave in the attic over the garage. It had a couch, big screen tv, weight set, and a huge gun safe. He said he had no idea how in the world all of that stuff didn't come crashing down through the garage ceiling or how the guy had managed to get the giant gun safe up there without some sort of elaborate winch system. He said it was only a matter of time before the house collapsed."
"The only other weird thing he encountered was a cistern (an old well) in a crawlspace underneath a house. He said he was crawling along on his stomach when he almost fell into it; it was left uncovered."
A rats nest of wires.
"I'm sure there will be some stories about wiring above drop ceilings. When I was looking at houses, I saw (not the home inspector) one once where like 10 different wires came into one rats nest of a cluster. To make it even better, there was a regular lamp cord that ran from it to power the hanging kitchen light above the table. And if you want whip cream and sprinkles on that.... the power came into that mess through knob and tube."
"I am an apprentice electrician and this comment just made my soul cry."
"I found an uncapped steel conduit with live wires behind my sink while remodeling. There wasn't even a cap on the wires."
"While ripping out our old kitchen we cut the old crappy countertop with a sawzaw, to our surprise saw a spark and blew a breaker. some mother f**kers who previously renovated this kitchen ran the wiring for a new outlet on the wall around the studs in a crevice in the back of the countertop...."
"My family flipped a house a few years ago. There were four ceilings, each a couple inches lower than the one before, and all but one had old wiring in it. It was like cutting into a weird lasagna, trying to find the studs in that house."
"Grandma was shrinking with old age, but her kids didn't want her to realize."
"Not me, but one I spoke to. Place almost passed, until out the corner of his eye... bam... jack stand holding up a beam under the house."
"Same with a house daughter was interested in. The place was a flip and totally redone. Beautiful. And down in the basement was a brick holding up a big beam."
This inspector had a full list.
1. "Furnace exhaust flue inlet at the attic furnace disconnected and a dead bird below it. Would have dumped all the furnace exhaust straight into the attic area. Obvious safety implication."
2. "Long time vacant house in a very secluded area. Reeked of cat p*ss and burnt plastic. No cats or cat feces in sight and no entry point for cats. Found small balloon in the corner of the floor where the fridge would be. Picked it up (with gloves) and white powder came spilling out. We came to the conclusion there was possibly the presence of methamphetamine in the home at some point and in some fashion."
3. "5 year old house, nice neighborhood, great shape, vacant. Everything looked good visually. In the attic, just after it had started raining heavily, a slight but constant drip was noticed from the roof sheathing in one area. Got lucky on that one. Sunny day, there would have been no evidence of any issue whatsoever."
4. "Homeowner DIY replaced the microwave and thought it would be 'clever' to run the exhaust vent into the wall cavity between the kitchen and adjacent laundry room. Just dumped the moisture into the wall. Mold city after a while if you do a lot of cooking while using the exhaust fan."
5. "60s house, well renovated. Range was a gas/electric dual fuel setup. Noticed broiler took forever to even start to warm up and never got hot enough that I couldn't touch it real quick (they usually glow red after like 30 seconds). Found out the range was plugged into a 110v outlet (enough to power the control panel and light) and not the proper 220v outlet (not even present). Oven was essentially useless. That one also had an incomplete drain line from a bathroom sink dumping everything directly into the crawlspace."
6. "New build. Got into the attic and just a quick 360° scan, something was off. Looking closer found a truss web beam that was completely gone, just ripped out (gusset plates bent to hell). Probably knocked out by the framing crews crane or something and they thought no one would notice. Time is money right? Lol"
They saved the day with this good catch!
"I used to work in a hospital, in IT. We were in a back corner of the oldest building. I used an out of the way stairwell, that had a 4 inch cast iron sprinkler main running through it."
"One day when I was leaving, I noticed a little tiny bit of water on the outside of the pipe. I went back to my desk, called maintenance, and asked them to send someone down so I could show them what I noticed. Walked the guy down to the stairwell and showed him, went on home."
"The next day I get to work and there's a letter on my desk. I open it, and it's from the director of maintenance. Seems that they shut down and depressurized the sprinkler line, and when they went to disconnect the section with the leak, the pipe just crumbled. They figured that my call prevented a major flood in materials management (which backed up to the stairwell on the floor below us) as well as a FD call-out, as the alarm would have gone when the pipe ruptured and water started flowing. The director sent me a very nice thank-you, and referred the situation to the cost-saving committee to see if they could get me a bonus based on preventing an accident."
The internet might just save homeowners on a whole lot of money by taking a closer look during the inspection. Thank goodness for this Ask Reddit post shedding light on the horror stories of homeownership and renovation mishaps.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
War Face GIF Giphy
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.
Sometimes, it becomes extremely clear that it's time to leave.
That goes for short term situations like a bizarre social moment, or longer term commitments like work or relationships.
Whatever the context, there is typically a tipping point moment when all the variables appear to suggest things have become unsafe, wildly uncomfortable, or maybe even a tad illegal.
It's those moments when all you can think about is the door.
Redditor Thotus_Maximus asked:
"What was your biggest 'I'm out' moment?"
Many people talked about the times they went to parties that turned out to be very different from what they had in mind.
"Went to a friend of a friend's 35th birthday party. There were like 3 people there when we showed up. Birthday boy says everyone's in the basement. Okay cool."
"We go down to the basement. Someone's DJing, they've got cool lighting, there's like 30 people dancing. After a minute or 2 we realize everyone in the basement is like 13. Nope Nope Nope."
THAT Kinda Party
"Lived in a hotel for a while when I was 18-19. One day a bunch of people I've met at the pool wanted to go up to this dudes room and party. I thought we were gonna drink, smoke, and have a conversation, but that's not how it went."
"While everyone went up there, I had to go back to my room and change clothes. When I finally went to join them, I walked in and saw this dude injecting hard drugs. I sh** you not, this dude turned completely blue and dropped to the ground like a rock. When I saw that, I just dipped."
"He got picked up by an ambulance and survived. When I saw him in the elevator the next day, he seemed like a completely different person. Seein' stuff like that (that wasn't my first time witnessing od's), I think kept me away from the drugs that can kill you easily."
The Great Escape
"I was at a party when I was a teen. Cops turned up. I was stuck upstairs. But there was a balcony and underneath a pool. And beyond the pool a gate leading to an alley."
"So I jumped in the pool."
"But when I resurfaced there were already two cops standing there looking at me."
Other Redditors recalled the times they encountered strangers that did not appear to have their best interest at heart, to say the least.
"Was approached by someone and we talked about how we went to the same college and I showed him some of my art work, he thought it was pretty cool and offered me an opportunity and wanted to talk more later because I was at work at the time."
"I met up with him and his girlfriend and he told about what he mentioned. As I say there listening, it sounded familiar and BAM! It hit me. It was a pyramid scheme, it had nothing to do with art or any job prospects, I told him I wasn't interested many times in the nicest way possible l, but boy did they look pi**ed."
"I got stuck in an airport overnight as my flight was cancelled due to weather and I was starving because all the stores were closed. Some employee offered to show me where to get food so I followed him."
"He then opened a door to outside in the parking lot and motioned outside. I quickly said 'no thanks' and walked away."
And finally, some talked about when it became very clear that their work situation needed to end, like yesterday.
Quotas Reign Supreme
"I got buried by heavy packages while loading a truck for Fedex. It took 3 people to get me out. I was bloody, bruised, and had trouble lifting my arm."
"My manager came over and chastised me for my package count being too low. Walked out immediately."
Leaving Him a Stressful Day
"I worked in a contact centre several years ago. It was super busy and calls didn't stop coming. For some reason, my stupid boss removed everyone else from the queue for some stupid training, leaving me alone to handle all the calls. I messaged him a few times on Microsoft Teams, asking what was happening with no reply."
"After two hours, I shut down my computer and walked out of the company. I just recently withdrawn my last salary, so no regret whatsoever."
Corruption At Its Finest
"I worked for a blood analysis lab machine company for about 6 months. Hated every minute of it because I was working well over 60 hours a week every week. I wouldn't be leaving some hospitals until after 11pm sometimes. The management would never support the techs, the customer is always right, that BS."
"So one week at during the over the phone team meeting, the manager actually asked on of the younger techs to complete paperwork and submit it. Which is normal, but the manager was having him submit the repair paperwork and schedule the repair when they got around to it. He wanted the tech to pencil whip documentation we submit to the FDA so he could a quarterly bonus."
"Managers who's group hits all the pm's, gets a very nice size check. Had the tech done that and the machine failed before it was serviced, somebody could have died and he might have gone to jail. I left that job the next day."
Out With a Bang
"I walked out of a job two hours into a shift and left them without anyone who could do my job."
"As a parting gift, I threw the manual I'd written in the rubbish and didn't bother removing or giving anyone my passwords to stuff so they couldn't do anything."
Years ago I had a classmate who was a total daredevil... so much so that he would often injure himself. He once drove a bike in the direction of oncoming traffic, just for the hell of it. He got out of that episode unscathed––luckily. By contrast, I prefer keeping all my limbs, and still have them all. I wonder where he is now. Hopefully not too banged up. I did do some stuff unwittingly––like the time I stuck a fork into an electrical socket. I thankfully wasn't shocked too much. I was young and naive.
People told us all about the dangerous things they did when they were younger after Redditor Not-an-Ocelot asked the online community,
"What's the most dangerous thing you did as a kid without realizing?"
"My chore was to wash the floors. I would mix all sorts of chemicals together, not realizing they don't mix. Like bleach and ammonia with other cleaning products."
This is very easy to do––and so dangerous! Thankfully you didn't harm yourself.
"I used to walk..."
"I used to walk on a frozen river when walking home from school. I was about 7 at the time."
Seen too many movies about people stuck under the ice.
"We would sneak up..."
"I used to do parkour. We would sneak up onto the rooftops of condo buildings when they were washing their windows (the staircases leading to the top floor would be unlocked). We would then go roof hopping.
Literal roof hopping like in Grand Theft Auto. We would jump from a 12 storey apartment building's roof to an adjacent 10 storey apartment building's roof, etc."
How are your knees? That's bound to do some damage, no?
"I picked up..."
"I picked up a baby copperhead snake and gave it to my mom as a present when I was 6 or 7."
You must have really hated your mom.
"There was a railway crossing..."
"There was a railway crossing on my walk to school, and the train would often be blocking my path so I would always wait until it stopped moving and then climb on top of it and jump off the other side so I could keep walking and not be late."
"Played inside an old broken refrigerator that was outside….not knowing it could have locked or tipped over."
Yes, it could have! Thankfully it didn't. There's a really frightening scene in The Leftovers involving a character who nearly suffocates in a fridge.
No thank you.
"Like most Florida kids..."
"Like most Florida kids I swam where I shouldn't have and I'm very lucky I didn't get eaten by alligators."
"After seeing videos..."
"Playing with fireworks. After seeing videos of kids blowing their fingers and hands off, I would never let my kids play with them, without lots of supervision."
"We are super lucky..."
"Getting on a boat with my then-boyfriend and not telling our parents where we were going. The boat ended up sinking during a storm and we had life jackets and floated on the ice chest. Only reason we are alive is because a ship that was coming in heard us screaming during the storm and called the coast guard. We were out there for a total of 15 hours and had severe hypothermia. We are super lucky to be alive."
This is pretty terrifying.
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.
Yes, thankfully, you're alive.
"When I was about..."
"When I was about 9 or 10 a friend and I rode an air mattress down a river. Neither of us knew how to swim and we didn't tell our parents so when we came back cops were looking for us."
Well... these were a read.
If you'll excuse me, I'll stay indoors and wrap myself in bubble wrap. The outside world is scary.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.