Courtrooms are solemn places, where people are on their best behavior in hopes of getting things to go in their favor... right?
Not always, it seems.
Reddit user 6packobeer asked:
Turns out, people do some pretty dumb things in court.
Is Water Wet?
I was the defendant, representing a nonprofit that I volunteered for. The plaintiff was a 60 something Grandma who was looking for a retirement settlement after falling out of her jacked up pick up truck in our parking lot. The premise of her case was that our parking lot was in bad shape (it was) and that she fell into a pothole and broke her leg, which resulted in her having to take Coumadin and diminished her enjoyment of salads at the Friday night fish fry (no, really).
It was going along fine, until my lawyer put up a photo of the pothole, taken the day of the incident, filled to the brim with water, after a recent rain. He asked the lady if she had gotten her foot wet, to which she replied that she couldn’t recall.
He talked a little more about how perhaps if her foot wasn’t wet, it might have been because she fell out of the truck and didn’t really fall into the pothole. He asked again if her foot was wet, and she affirmed that yes, her foot was wet.
The “oh sh*t” moment came when he went back to his desk, flipped through her deposition and read the part where she was extremely adamant that her foot wasn’t wet. Then he did some fancy legal stuff, the case was thrown out and I went back to work.
They Are, In Fact, The Same
Bench trial of complicated commercial litigation case. We have up on the courtroom monitor a spreadsheet setting forth how much the Defendant owes us and our expert is going through it line by line. Defense attorney objects, stating that he was never provided with this spreadsheet in discovery, it wasn't on our exhibit list, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, leaning against the wall at DEFENSE table is a posterboard blow-up of said spreadsheet.
Judge looks at the spreadsheet on the screen, looks at the blow-up, looks back at the screen, looks back at the blow-up and says pointing to the posterboard.
Judge: Counsel, is that your exhibit there sitting at counsel table?
Attorney: Yes, your honor.
Judge: Isn't it exactly the same as the spreadsheet up on the screen?
Counsel: Well, they've got an electronic version on the screen, the one on the posterboard is from a PDF. Judge, shaking his head in annoyance: Overruled.
This idiot attorney objected to lots of exhibits in a similar way, some of which we pointed out were on his own exhibit list. We won, btw.
Two moments in a DUI trial:
1) Passenger is testifying for driver’s sobriety when the DA asks her, “you keep saying he was sober, but are you even TIPS certified (a course for bartenders so they can recognize drunk patrons)?” She was.
2) The head of the county’s blood lab accidentally admitted he cranked the sensitivity of his machines way up because he “was experimenting”
Bore Them Into Submission
UK - Bear with me on this one. I was in court listening to the most boring old defence lawyer you've ever seen, he was questioning the arresting officer in the case. It was drugs or something like that.
Anyway, he's droning on about every little detail and the magistrate was constantly telling him to hurry along. The arresting officer was getting noticeably annoyed and the room became empty pretty quick. Everyone was very bored and annoyed. He was droning about details that I'm not sure anyone was really listening to or cared about.
He went over arrest times and the likes with the officer, time he admitted the suspect and released him. He had bored the officer to the point were he was barely paying attention.
“So he was admitted in at 21:45 on the night in question...?"
“...and released the night after..."
“...and that was what? Just after 10pm?..."
“What time after 10?"
“I don't know, quarter past 10 maybe"
“so my client was detained for more than 24 hours"
The penny dropped. The officer let his guard down and had revealed he kept the defendant for more than 24 hours, which is the max time for detention in the UK. The defence rested and the magistrate threw the case out immediately. Well played sir, well played.
Don't Bring Drugs To Court...Duh!
This story is actually somewhat legendary despite having happened fairly recently. Just because of how much this guy sucks and how entertaining of an L this was.
So, our protagonist is an attorney of Eastern European descent. He has thinning, slicked back grey hair, which he occasionally dyes ludicrously unnatural shades of brown and then allows the bad dye job to grow out. Kinda like a sideways Cruella de Vil, if you will. He is known for doing shady stuff, like - not sending notice of hearings or sending incorrect notice and then failing to fix it, making bad faith arguments, and creating purposeful delays. A real pain in the ass, especially for lawyers - people generally known to be sticklers for rules and order. He's also made some off color comments to younger women attorneys. Just generally a very unlikeable guy.
Our unlikeable protagonist is going through a very nasty custody battle. Accusations are being thrown back and forth, they've lost the family home, it's a whole ordeal. Mr. Unpopular, in one of his pleadings, alleges that his wife uses drugs. Said allegation is made in an affidavit, which is considered evidence. But is that enough evidence for him? NO, obviously, because nothing is interesting about an affidavit.
Here I need to make a quick aside and say that in many courtrooms in my state, attorneys may procure a special ID card that allows them to bypass security measures that average people have to go through - a metal detector and your bag gets X-rayed.
So our dude attends a hearing regarding his allegations that his ex wife uses drugs. He uses his attorney ID to bypass security, and then in court he pulled an Altoid's tin full of weed out of his pocket and declared that it belonged to his wife.
Obviously, that didn't fly. He was immediately detained and the drugs seized. The sheriff also ordered him to surrender his special ID, but he claimed he “didn't know where it was." I don't know what he said, but they let him leave.
He was arrested shortly thereafter for attempting to use the same ID he claimed he lost and he knew was supposed to be confiscated. He was mid argument when several deputies arrived in the courtroom. They allowed him to finish what he was saying and hear the judge's ruling. Then he was marched out in cuffs. :D
Not Very Romantic
Represented a woman charged with multiple very serious felonies. She insisted that in the months before the offense, she'd been seriously dating one of the detectives who ultimately wound up investigating and testifying in her case. For a variety of reasons, I trusted this client and believed her, even though the detective never disclosed the relationship in his report.
So, during his testimony, I ask “Detective Smith, you had a romantic relationship with Ms. Defendant, correct?" He goes “What? No!" and is visibly offended. The judge Iooks at me like I've lost my mind, the commonwealth attorney audibly says “what?", I'm freaking out because a large part of my cross and argument was focused on the bias formed by the prior relationship, and now I've got nothing and I've lost all credibility.
I try again, “Detective Smith, have you had a sexual relationship with Ms. Defendant?". As the Commonwealth rises to object and the Judge starts to scold me, the detective goes “Oh, yea. We've had sex, it just wasn't very...romantic."
Update: State is Virginia. The jury acquitted my client of the relatively minor charge that the detective in my story was involved with, but convicted of the other, much more serious charges that detective had nothing to do with. There was a confession and video on the serious charges, so it was kind of a no-brainer. Sorry I'm being kind of intentionally vague, there are no confidentiality concerns (since this all happened in open court), but its distasteful to give out too much information about a client.
The detective was not "disqualified", his testimony was not thrown out. Impeachment, no matter how good, doesn't result in you getting to throw out a witness's testimony entirely. By the way, it wasn't really the sex that was the issue, it was that he didn't disclose it to anyone and his repeated insistence under questioning that he didn't disclose it because it was irrelevant. Like Watergate, its not the crime, its the coverup that gets you. But I don't get to demand the judge throw out the testimony or that charge just because the cop failed to disclose a prior relationship with the defendant. I just get to point it out, argue it in closing, and then hope the jury also sees the relevance.
I was a baby lawyer in my first year representing the 19 year old child of some rich people in San Mateo County CA. My client had gone on a bit of a shoplifting spree and we were cleaning all her cases up with a global plea (meaning we handled them all at once).
Being new, I filled out the plea form wrong swapping the counts she was charged with for the counts she was pleading to. It's an easy mistake to make. Every court has their own unique form and I was unfamiliar with San Mateo's.
The judge calls my line, starts reading off the plea form, notices the mistake and then starts screaming at the top of his lungs “COUNSEL! WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS?! IS THIS YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB? THIS IS A COURT IF LAW AND WE DO NOT ACCEPT MISTAKES! FILL THIS PLEA FORM OIT CORRECTLY OR I WILL HAVE YOU TAKEN INTO CUSTODY FOR CONTEMPT!"
I did not expect a reaction like that. My client, who had clearly just taken a huge bong rip at 8 AM and who was wearing an all-pink velvet track suit was looking at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world.
I corrected the plea form. The judge made me wait until the very end of the calendar to take my plea. Afterward, he called me up to the bench. In private he told me, “Sorry to ream you like that. Everyone messes the plea form up so I always pick the youngest lawyer to yell at. The older guys will grumble and complain, but if you noticed they all fixed their own forms and we didn't have any more problems. Keeps the calendar running smooth. Where did you go to law school?" After that he invited me into his office for coffee and gave me some really good life/work advice. Turns out he likes talking to new lawyers.
Tl;dr: Judge losses it in court over a simple mistake, turns out it was all a show for the other lawyers and I have one of the worst/best court experiences of my early career.
I was prosecuting a contempt action in family court (something that basically never works) and everyone in the room could tell I was winning. The other side was unprepared (out of arrogance) and I was basically ripping this guy to shreds on cross examination (which his lawyer didn't even think would happen, because he expected the case to be dismissed.)
At the end of the trial, the judge ruled for me and stated that she found the defendant's testimony to be untrustworthy. I was shocked at winning a contempt trial to begin with, but then this exchange happened:
Defendent's attorney: "Your honor, now that you have found my client's testimony to be untrustworthy, I am requesting a continuance in order to prepare further witnesses." (This concept is shocking in an of itself, because to even think you can bring more witnesses after you rest your case is laughable)
Judge: "You had your shot and you missed, counsel."
Defendant's attorney: "Your honor, there was no way I could have anticipated that you'd find my client's testimony untrustworthy and as such, I didn't have the opportunity to prepare other witnesses in support of his position".
Judge: "That may be an argument for your carrier, counsel, but it holds no water with me. See you this afternoon for sentencing."
For those who didn't pick up on it, the judge basically told the lawyer ON THE RECORD IN FRONT OF HIS CLIENT that she expects him to get sued for malpractice because he f***ed up so royally.
That was mindblowning on multiple levels.
Seen This One Before
Represented a pro bono client that had just turned 18 and was charged with serious property damage. I walk in to his bail hearing and the judge looks at him and goes “I knew you'd be back as an adult." The judge then turns to me and says “Counselor, you may want to learn about your client's history." No bail.
To answer some of the questions I've been asked:
1. I considered it to be extremely inappropriate and objected to it. Juvenile records are sealed for a reason. The judge overruled the objection but made sure to articulate that his denial of bail was for reasons related to the instant case.
2. The firm I was at had a pro bono program and worked with the public defender service in the area.
3. The judge at the bail hearing wasn't the judge for all other hearings in the case. He just happened to be the one handling bail hearings that afternoon.
Days, Years, What's The Difference?
I was interning during law school prosecuting domestic violence cases. The Deputy DA asked me to talk for the first time during a guy's arraignment, for beating his wife. An arraignment is when the Defendant hears the charges against them and pleads guilty or not guilty basically. When the judge calls on me to speak, I got insanely nervous. And told the Defendant that his charge carried a maximum penalty of 30 YEARS, when it was actually 30 DAYS.
He freaks out, the crowd (some in the gallery were his family and friends) gasps. The judge basically stops me and says "I think you mean 30 days counselor..." After which everyone, including the defendant, laughed at me...
Because a lot of people are worried about this: the evidence was pretty weak and the facts did not bear charging anything other than the lowest level misdemeanor, which, in conjunction with this being a first offence meant that we were seeking two things primarily: counseling/ anger management classes, and probation. The intent being that any future problems can hopefully be avoided, and if not, we could stick the Defendant with a harsh punishment the next time when we'd hopefully have better facts/ evidence.
I Said I Should Tell You In Private
I think this qualifies, though it wasn't me that was the lawyer.
Got called for jury duty.
Was at the jury selection phase, and they asked if "anyone here thinks they should not..." blah blah. Defendant was in the room.
I raised my hand.
The defending lawyer looked at me like "oh this oughta be good" and asked me to explain.
I suggested I tell them in private.
He insisted I tell the courtroom.
"OK...I probably shouldn't be on this jury because I was on a previous jury for this man which returned a guilty verdict".
Lawyer's face went "oh sh*t".
Commotion and a wait while they looked up records.
Whole jury was now "tainted".
Everyone goes home, and they start over.
Silence Is Golden
Not a lawyer, but I got in enough trouble in my teens to know what a judge does/doesn't like.
Uncles/father decide they're going to conserve my grandmother and put her in a secured perimeter memory facility. In reality, they just wanted to piss away her $20m estate. We end up in court with our lawyers.
One thing I know about most judges/courtrooms. They want to be revered like a church. No talk back, no talking out of turn, wear a suit, even if it's a $20 goodwill suit.
Father, uncles all show up. All of them spend about an hour badmouthing me. I'm keeping my mouth shut, looking at my feet. One of my uncles tries to examine me, I just keep my mouth shut until the judge tells him he's not a lawyer, and I'm not examination. None of them are well dressed, sneakers, dirty sweatpants.
My uncle (who's the ringleader) decides to start talking over his own lawyers. My lawyer makes some comment, the judge starts talking to her and my uncles lawyer says something like, "Now hold on ladies!"
All they had to do was keep their mouths shut, and not tell their lawyers how to do their job and they would have won. They pretty much handed grandma and I the win.
It's hard to call stuff in court "oh sh*t" moments most of the time because generally you know what's coming. Even in criminal defense. I had some flubs early in my solo practice that more boiled down to lack of experience.
But going for things that actually happened in court, I will go a little lighter than some of my fellow practitioners here.
Closing argument in an assault case. I've learned to grow comfortable with my speaking stlye, and part of that is to cut loose a bit when it is appropriate. So I make light of some of the states' allegations given the testimony by the prosecuting witness. There is one guy on the jury panel that thinks I'm just hilarious. I had to wait for him to stop laughing.
The oh sh*t moment? When the jurors came back to return a verdict, the same ROTFLWTFBBQ guy was elected foreman by the other jurors.
Verdict was not guilty.
Not a lawyer but I had a big "Oh sh*t" moment.
I was in court for driving while suspended in a county and in front of a judge that were both notorious for putting people who did that in jail. My license wasnt supposed to be suspended, a pencil pusher forgot to press a button or something and it never got un-suspended after the time was up. I had proof of this, but I was still really nervous.
The guy who went up to the judge before me walked to the table where we were supposed to stand, sat down, and put his feet up on the table. The judge asked him what he was doing and he gave a flippant answer and basically told the judge to get f***ed. This seriously pissed the judge off. The judge went off on this guy and the guy gave everything right back to him, pissing him off more and more. The judge ended up jailing him for contempt and had the bailiff cuff the guy and put him in a chair off to the side to await the marshalls who would transport him to the jail.
My name gets called. The judge is looking at me like Im fresh meat and he is a Great White shark. Im already thinking to myself "OK, if this judge puts you in jail, run over and beat the sh*t out of the guy that pissed the judge off so badly. He's why youre going to jail."
The judge looks down at his paperwork and back at me and says "You're Mr *my last name*"? I said "Yes sir." He said "Yeah, we were talking about you earlier, Im going to void your arrest and dismiss this case, your license was supposed to be valid and you shouldnt be here."
I let out a huge sigh. The judge asked me if I was OK and I said I had been a bit worried, especially given the guy that was right before me in line. The judge said "Dont worry about him, he wont be seeing anything that isnt behind bars for about 90 days." and laughed.
You're Not Helping
Was in court for a directions hearing. The judge was already in a bad mood and asked why we were here for such a seemingly pointless litigation (without giving details, he was right.)
The barrister starts to make our case, and I am taking notes about areas we need to further explore when I hear
"EXCUSE ME, WHY WERE YOU SO RUUUUUUDE TO ME?"
The client, who had been told to NOT COME, had come to court that day and was evidently incensed by the judge questioning the merit of their case.
They berated the judge for about 3 minutes, with me and my cocounsel first stunned and then trying to shut them up, before he adjourned the hearing.
The case did not go very well, to my client's surprise and fury. Big sigh.
He's Doing Your Job For You
Not me but my former law partner. She was in court representing a client, I think in a hearing for a restraining order against her soon-to-be-ex-husband. Our client was telling the judge that when they met to exchange the children for visitation, the ex had kicked her. He immediately angrily shouted "she can't prove it, I didn't leave a mark!" Thanks, buddy!
Barely A Stabbing At All, Really
Watching a hearing when the defendant said "I mean I did stab her... But it was a gentle stabbing..."
Don't Let Them See You Laughing
Not a lawyer, but I witnessed my ex wife try to argue with the judge that she couldn't be accused of kidnapping our daughter because our daughter was legally emancipated (not a spoiler: she wasn't) at the time of the kidnapping. My ex had legal statutes written on small sheets of paper she had torn out of books in the jail library, and she kept arguing with the judge after being told that none of it mattered.
After the fifth time my ex interrupted the judge with her nonsense, the judge slammed her hands down, stood up, leaned over her bench, and told my ex that she had been a juvenile court judge for 20 years and was well aware of the statutes. If she interrupted one more time then she would be held in contempt and spend several months more in jail.
My lawyer held up his folder in front of his face to hide his grin during this exchange. I walked out with full legal and physical custody of my daughter, court supervised visitation for my ex, and a full restraining order.
Thanks For Proving My Point
Not in court but at a tribunal, and also I was plaintiff, suing for wrongful termination.
My rep: so you terminated him because he was ill
MR: and he was ill because he's disabled
MR: so you fired someone for being disabled
Here, Let Me Make Your Case For You
I was involved in a pretty messy custody case. The other party was a mess and had kept the child from my client for a few weeks. OP was playing lots of stupid games and kept requesting continuances. I requested a drug test, which the judge ordered. However, the OP didn’t show up for it (to clarify, he did show up, he just stood in front of the toilet for literally 2 hours and claimed he couldn’t pee). I was representing the plaintiff so the burden was on me. I called multiple witnesses that testified to the defendant’s drug use. So, opposing counsel decides to call their client for direct examination and asks, “you don’t use heroin and crack, right?” That is, for the non-lawyers, a very stupid question for many reasons. Especially considering his client didn’t show up for his drug test. However, I fully expected the defendant to just lie and say he was clean. After the question was asked, there was a really long pause and the defendant said, “yes, I do both of those drugs.” My head almost exploded. I didn’t ask any questions on cross examination because I didn’t want to muddy the waters. I won, and the child is doing great.
As a "high achieving" student, the biggest mind-blowing fact I have ever learned has been the sheer amount of straight-up lying that happens in formal education.
It's a lot. Like a lot a lot. History class lied so hard.
Oxford<p>Oxford University was founded in 1096 and is several hundred years older than Machu Picchu.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx8tm8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GParkerG93</a></p><p>Oxford was founded 300 years before the Aztec empire</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxxhmy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AnduBandu</a></p><p>Wai..wah wai wai wiai, WHAT?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxif90?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CosmicSnowball14</a></p>
On Trial<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTc2Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzU1ODI5M30.4pq1QJyuoP_wmlhACwoWdU54nobqlAzCrs2CaxXZ_BQ/img.gif?width=980" id="ed537" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a40beaebe19748acb8a2266ddd95141d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="375" />pet sleeping GIFGiphy<p>In the Middle Ages, European countries would put on real trials for animals. They were legitimate, with real defense attorneys. </p><p>A sow and her piglets were put on trial for killing a five-year-old kid. The sow was found guilty and put to death, but her piglets were acquitted because there was no evidence they took part.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx1wyz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">natsugreyzera</a></p><p>They did this in Tennessee in the 1900's where an elephant was tried and hanged for murder.<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_(elephant)" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"></a></p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjy3tyr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheoryPlane</a></p>
Sharks<p>Sharks have existed 100 million years before the first trees. </p><p>Sharks first showed up on the scene 350 million years ago and 250 million years ago. Also, sharks have survived 4 of the 5 mass extinctions. They didn't exist for the first one. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx1fss?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Stayathomedadof6</a></p>
Room To Spare<p>All the planets in our solar system can fit between the Earth and the Moon, with a little room to spare.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx85ye?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Imajica0921</a></p><p>Whaaaa? Oddly this one hurts my brain the most.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx9wk2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dmbf</a></p><p>There's a lot of space in space.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjzntot?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">madgietoyousir</a></p>
Clean Bones<p>That when you brush your teeth you're actually cleaning your skeleton</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjwzxbe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">maidenHELL6669</a></p><p>Gotta keep your bone mech clean. That flesh armor only guards so much.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxoun4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Shumatsuu</a></p><p>Gross, thanks! </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxm8of?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ppity_pangolin</a></p>
Light Horizon<p>There is a light horizon in the universe, and we will never know what's beyond it</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx2y18?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Money_Display_5389</a></p><p>The funny thing, (or maybe just terrifying thing), is that at some point in the far future, the light horizon will actually get smaller over time. </p><p>This is because the universe is expanding faster then light can travel, and so that light will never make it to us no matter how much time passes, and this phenomenon will only become more relevant.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjynpnr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ZanyThings</a></p>
The Beatles<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTc3MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxODQ5ODcxOX0.1DyC3fQGrmURKaz809wvgafTj26Hak_-WKDyc4B9UoI/img.gif?width=980" id="8d6fe" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="3419f853fad72027fcdecbaf7bb2eaa2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="400" data-height="337" />the beatles GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy<p>The Beatles were only together for 7 years. Well, technically for 8 but they released all of their albums in a seven year stretch, releasing two albums a year for many of those years.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxbtav?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VikingWithGuns</a><span></span></p><p>Even crazier- when they broke up, Paul McCartney was 28.</p><p>Think about it- all that genius, the music, the success, the greatest band ever to exist- and he wasn't even 30.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjy8t5z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">YourlocalTitanicGuy</a></p>
They Have To Die For My Survival<p>Diseases are caused by micro organisms. </p><p>Organisms. Germs are organisms. </p><p>It totally blew my mind that the thing screwing my internal organs was a group of sentient living beings that have to die for my survival.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxbgc7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CrimsonMarksman</a></p>
Ice Age<p>Cleopatra lived closer to the invention of the iphone than the completion of the Great Pyramid</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxly7q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jfaissalesmfe5</a></p><p>Woolly Mammoths still walked the earth when the Great Pyramid was being built.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjy9st1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Volkspanzerisme</a></p><p>So by correlation, Cleopatra lived closer to the release of the movie Ice Age, than the actual ice age.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjzdvjl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BurritoBandito5</a></p>
Flaunt It<p>Jumping spiders have basically the same vision we do, they can see us and know when we're looking at them and like to show off!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxibgj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kikaf32645</a></p><p>Ugh I hate those spiders. We had one in the house once and it kept waving its arms around.'</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjz6duj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Cyannotsus</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjz6duj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Jumping spiders are the only kind of spider, that I as an arachnophobe like.</p><p>They're fluffy, cute and this fact cements that.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxnj47?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HelluhTrill420</a></p>
We go hard on A Goofy Movie around here. Tevin Campbell as Powerline is the real King of Pop 'round these parts. The perfect cast is standard choreography
I needed to tell you all that so you understood it is not an attack on the movie when I say Max sucked.
Peter Pan<p>Tink in Peter Pan is an absolute monster. She tried to get the Lost Boys to murder Wendy. The whole film is full of abhorrent morality.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnjmez?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Enochuout</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnjmez?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>To be fair, this is an older fairy story; and while still in the modern age was far back enough that they hadnt fully sanitized the stories into cutesy BS. There is still danger and risk and sinister things lurking in the edges of the world and the hearts of some characters.</p><p>Tink is a <em>fairy</em>, she is fey and so is her morality. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjodddt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Considered_Dissent</a></p>
Kids In Cages<p>Lab Rats. The dad/inventor kept the kids in CAGES and it wasn't until he married and got a stepson that they got rescued. Then everyone was all, "oh well, good times!"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjn38dv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WeaverOfCloth</a></p><p>yeah, and don't forget that the main characters constantly physically harass their nonsuperpowered foster brother, even after he gets superpowers, otherwise, pretty good show.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnqrx1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bigbrainedidiot777</a></p>
Walled Up Alive<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTM3NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MjUyMTc0OH0.9hvoLCUVK3SCP18ptT2oK3vcJK2_Y6XGEc6wWLt4emU/img.gif?width=980" id="3c674" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5097f2e2bd3d49134224904891f6d8c7" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="240" />thomas GIFGiphy<p>The Fat Controller in Thomas the Tank Engine bricking up Henry the green train.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmusxo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jennyrob669</a></p><p>All Henry wanted was a coat of waterproof paint or a break from work till the rain stopped.</p><p>Nope, brick up the tunnel and take up the tracks. '</p><p>F*ck you engine, you work for me!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjna9zl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FatNino</a></p><p>Came here for this! Lol. The look on his (it's?) poor face. Gets me every time. </p><p>Nooooo don't brick me in for eternity, I only wanted to keep my paint shiny!!!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnfzns?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hidefromthe_sun</a></p>
Brain Damage Makes You Perfect<p>Here's my entry to help get conversation going:</p><p>In the 2005 Disney movie <em>Chicken Little</em>, the school bully, Foxy Loxy, gets teleported by aliens and suffers brain damage resulting in a massive personality change. </p><p>When the aliens move to return her to normal, Runt Of The Litter stops them, saying she was now "perfect". It's then implied the two become romantically involved.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjlnacn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HooDooSquad</a></p><p>It was less of a "massive personality change" and more "massive brain damage".</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnv9hd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Satyrane</a></p><p>Yeah. That was super creepy. He was basically attracted to her because she got an accidental lobotomy. That's some pretty predatory behavior if you ask me</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnv3h8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">anoncoolguy69</a></p>
Wizard Woes<p>In Wizards of Waverly Place the whole concept of the Family Wizard Competition is super f*cked up and immoral. </p><p>Basically when all the children of a family come of age they compete to see who's the best wizard, and the ones who lose are stripped of their powers. Imagine if we have our kids take a vision test and blinded the ones who fail.</p><p>Anyways there was a recurring character who was friends with the main cast who was later revealed to be leading a revolution to overthrow this system. The entire main cast labels her as evil, puts a stop to her plan, and then literally murders her at the end.</p><p>More specifically what happened was that they froze her solid to hold her in place while they transferred her powers. Then the village idiot came and knocked her over by accident, shattering her into pieces. They then proceeded to make jokes about her corpse.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmwqxj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">StandUpGaming</a><br></p>
Gentrifying Lazytown<p>Sportacus and Stephanie treating Robbie Rotten badly all because he didn't want to be active. </p><p>Let him live in Lazytown in peace!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmygjh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chuckbookworm</a></p><p>Those two came to a place literally called <em>Lazytown</em> and tried to force everyone to be more active and stuff. If anything, Robbie Rotten should've been the hero for trying to maintain how the town should be</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjn6yrd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Truly_Meaningless</a></p><p>Sportacus and Stephanie wanted to establish a 'work will set you free' regime in Lazytown.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjp40ao?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Prof_Black</a></p>
Threat To Society<p>In the 4th season of Winx Club, the main characters get a new power up, the Believix, and it is a mess. They each get a new power to use at their own discretion. Here is a quick description of what these powers let them do:</p><ul><li>Strength of Life (Bloom): It lets her make people believe in magic and help them overcome their weaknesses. She decides what qualifies as a weakness. She overrides a person's free will to make them believe in magic, which just so happens to make the girls stronger, and rewrite their personality if she doesn't like it.</li><li>Dawn of Light (Stella): It lets her make people more cooperative and accepting. Basically, she overrides another person's free will so they do what she says.</li><li>Breath of the World (Flora): It lets her make people show more appreciation for nature. Nice on paper, but it basically makes people ignore potentially more important tasks, or forego certain technologies, in favor of nature.</li></ul>
Mrs. Doubtfire<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTM2OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MzgwNDAzMX0.Dq-VeFDrmpnazICzv1lX8uVKYZ-HQ6TbkWbH0h6NvsU/img.gif?width=980" id="8c908" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="45956993e65b85129871ecd0409e14f8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="245" data-height="220" />robin williams today GIFGiphy<p>As a kid, you side with Robin Williams. Rewatching it as an adult, the guy was seriously dysfunctional and his wife was absolutely right to divorce him.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmyr3r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChemicalGeekery</a></p><p>He was pretty dysfunctional and didn't provide a great environment for the children until he pretended to be somebody else. He was only a good parent when he pretended to be somebody else. </p><p>It's also super super creepy that he disguised himself to get back into his ex-wife's house.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjngje2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Rows_</a></p>
Santa Sucks<p>I apologize if this has already been covered, but Santa Claus is a total a$$hole in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...</p><p>I can understand the young Reindeer making fun of Rudolph's red nose. Kids are mean and will easily make fun of someone for being different.</p><p>But then Santa walks in... He could have set everyone straight right there. Explained how its our differences that make everyone special and all of that.</p><p>No. </p><p>He readily agrees with everyone that Rudolph is a lost cause and even tells Donner he should be ashamed of his Son's red nose.</p><p>Da f*ck!?</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmu7j4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ScotchyT</a></p><p>Until he needs him, then all of a sudden he's part of the group and useful and liked. That's some "fit in or go f*cking die" mess if I ever saw it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjn5vhw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">therealtidbits</a></p>
Board games are designed carefully by teams of experts. Countless brainstorm sessions are carried out, designs and prototypes are proposed and changed, and plenty of focus groups are consulted along the way.
Start On a High Note<p>"In Scrabble, the person who can make the longest word goes first, highest points breaks a tie. This makes the game more fun by ensuring there are lots of places to play your letters." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtfphl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mimlitsch</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I thought this was a legit rule lol my family does this too." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtq75g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakSmoke2019</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's an amazing rule! Also it would be ideal if they started the word slightly to the left so ensure a more balanced board." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtov6t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">z0rb0r</a></p>
The Long Game<p>"My father in law keeps note of who has wronged him with a series of annotations beside the score when we play cards" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtqg0e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">8765432109</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Plot twist: it's not to get revenge in-game, it's to give him the longest list at the annual Festivus Airing of the Grievances." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjuidz0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">YVRJon</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's amazingly petty and I absolutely love it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjv4xlt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DKlurifax</a></p>
Corrupt Capitalism<p>"In monopoly we have a rule that my sister cant be the banker otherwise its like watching Oceans 11" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtpe9o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">graeuk</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Hubby is not allowed to even SIT near the banker, and no one stores any money anywhere near him. If HE suggests we play, we scour the area for hidden money before he sits down." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjuc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RunnerMomLady</a></p>
Piping Down<p>"In every co-op game (Pandemic, Castle Panic, whatever), there is usually someone who tries to tell everyone what to do. I can accidentally be this person."</p><p>"So, I implemented the 'right hand man' rule. IF the person whose turn it is want advice (IF), they can only get it from the person on their right. Nobody else can say anything."</p><p>"Makes things way more enjoyable."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtp4ep?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ThrowAwayTheTeaBag</a></p>
Unstoppable Bob<p>"Trouble is a fun little game. Unfortunately, with the wife and son, we only have three players. Four players makes it even more fun, so we have a fourth player we call 'Bob.'"</p><p>"Bob gets the last turn in the cycle. Someone rolls for Bob, and then the three of us agree on what Bob's best move is."</p><p>"It's especially fun when you have to agree that Bob's best move is to take out one of your own pieces."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtoifo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LockjawTheOgre</a></p>
Spicing Things Up<p>"'The Mugging Rule' in Monopoly."</p><p>"If I land on a space that you are currently occupying, I can choose to mug you. We take turns rolling the dice, if I roll higher, I steal $100, if you roll higher I go to jail."</p><p>--<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtld17?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">garysredditaccount</a></p>
The Seat of Wisdom<p>"In Trivial Pursuit, we have a rule - if the player being asked doesn't know the answer, they can ask the room. The room doesn't actually answer, but they say whether they know the answer or not."</p><p>"If nobody knows the answer, it's considered an invalid question, and another card gets drawn instead. (if someone in the room does know, but the player being asked doesn't, then it's just a plain old 'pass')"</p><p>"My Dad knows a lot of stuff ... I mean, a LOT. When he was a kid he read the Encyclopaedia Britannica for fun. Basically, the rule was born from, 'If even Dad doesn't know the answer, then nobody does and it's a terrible question.'"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtfsx0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">xenchik</a></p>
Because Why the Hell Not<p>"At the end of scrabble you make up a story with all the words on the board. We never looked at the tiles for scores, we just played to get the best words on the board." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtl8bt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blupidibla</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"We did something similar with Cards Against Humanity. Pick up a card, start the story, go around the table. Got some really weird stories." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjts286?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Snorks43</a></p>
Updated to the Modern Era<p>"Nukes in Risk"</p><p>"If you roll three sixes when attacking you defeat every army on the territory you're attacking into. If you roll three ones, you nuke yourself and lose every army in the territory you're attacking from"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtaz1j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Len-K</a></p>
A Confidence Exercise<p>"If you say sorry while playing Uno, you pick up 2 cards! Slap that +4 down with authority!"</p><p>"Also, if you have exactly the same card as the one that has just been played, you can jump in and play your duplicate regardless of if it's your turn or not"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtla61?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jb28737</a></p>
Businesses have to turn a profit to be able to stay operational. We get it. A consumer is paying more than it costs to make the product to purchase the product. The upside of accepting this fact should be we're being provided a service and experience we couldn't possibly get on our own. However, there are those products that are overcharged, especially compared to the development costs, that are charged a high price for what feels like no reason outside of making a ridiculous amount of money.