We see the "fulfilling the last will" trope in movies all the time. Someone's rich somebody dies, and they stumble into some fortune or another because of the last will. If screenwriters really want to shake things up, they add in some condition to the will, like having to spend a night in a haunted house or something. But honestly speaking, this stuff never happens in real life... right?
One Reddit user asked:
Look; we don't want to spoil your plans, but it looks like forcing your relatives to run a dangerous cross-country relay race to decide who gets to care for your beloved chiweenie after you're dead isn't legally enforceable. We know. We were bummed, too. Corndog deserves better than this. (If you have a Chiweenie and you didn't name it Corndog, you missed a golden opportunity, folks.)
Here are some of our favorite responses:
Military lawyer here. Had a young client come in for a will before deployment. He put a request to be buried in blue jeans, a Chris Jericho t-shirt, and his replica WWE championship belt. Happily, this airman didn't meet any misfortune on his deployment.
I worked at an attorney office and little older lady gave her house and her belongings to a bus driver. The bus driver was nice to her and would help her, we were all waiting for hell to break loose when her family found out.
Not a lawyer, but paralegal. We had a dying client in hospital change her Will by recording it on a smart phone. It set a precedent and made the local paper. The lawyer in question has the page from the newspaper framed in his office.
The Great Stork Derby
The Great Stork Derby was when a wealthy Canadian left a substantial amount of money to whichever woman had the most children in the 10 years following his death. It was upheld through numerous court battles and 4 women tied with 9 children each. Two women were also given smaller payouts. One had 10 children (2 were stillborn), and another had more than 9 kids, but a few were illegitimate.
The guy also had some other interesting things in his will and was a known practical joker.
Where I went to college, there's an oak tree that was deeded to itself in a man's will. Now called The Tree That Owns Itself, it sits in the middle of a road and you have to go to one lane to drive around it. Story is that a man loved the tree so much as a kid, that around the time he died in the 1830's, he gave the tree possession of itself. This technically wouldn't stand up in a court of law, but the county and local populace has accepted it and takes care of it. The original tree actually died and the current one is a product of one of the acorns of the original!
I work for a lawyer who does wills.
We've had a lady put in her will that one of her adult sons was not to receive his share until he visited a dentist and the other son lost 70lbs.
Another lady put in her will that she wanted her cats cremated with her when she died. Euthanized to be buried with her. I was so pissed off. I told the lawyer that's absolute bullshit. And though she agreed she had to put in as instructed and hoped that living family members at the time of her death wouldn't uphold that part. Told her that's not going to happen, human remains and animal remains do not get cremated at once. So she settled on cremated separately and joined together, then buried together.
This Family Was All Shook Up
One of my uncles was really rich and really crazy... not in the good way. We almost never saw him, he visited us maybe once every ten years. The last time he did, he flew in just to take us to Denny's. He met my brother in an airport, was there for an hour, ate, and got on another plane and went home.
When he died he had no friends. He had driven his wife to basically drink herself to death a few years prior, so she was gone too. He left his entire estate to an Elvis impersonator. Everything.
I was a witness to one where the lady wanted to make sure her daughter divorced her husband (when she had no intentions of doing so) if she wanted her part of the estate. Thankfully that is not legally enforceable so nothing came from it.
Estate lawyer here. I once had true believers who were convinced the rapture was imminent and only saw the value of completing their estate plan when I explained the mess those of us left behind would have to deal with, including their stuff.
Embezzlement and Bigamy in the PhillipinesGiphy
I mean, it's not that crazy. It's depressingly predictable. Rich old aunt the only one in her huge family with any money, having been a doctor on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. She set up a living trust to take care of her poor relations in the Philippines, to continue as a death trust whenever she died. Her favorite niece was in control of the trust, and of course the niece was responsible and even handed and never ever embezzled any of the money to set herself up as a newspaper publisher and concert producer and media mogul with new expensive cars and lots of first class pan Pacific travel, nope, not her.
Hahaha of course the trustee did all that. Hundreds of thousands of dollars missing, and an unholy mess of sifting through money transfers and property purchases in three countries. The niece also had a bigamous marriage to some loser in the Phillipines (her legal husband in north america was bedridden and dying slowly), to whom she sent buckets of her aunt's money to build a luxury villa. She vehemently denied such a relationship existed. She also had photos of the "wedding" on her Facebook page. Not the smartest embezzler out there.
From where I sat, in the attorney's office representing the poor relations trying to stop the trustee's embezzlement, the craziest part of it all was that after years of fighting, we finally got complete financial disclosure for the trust on like December 22, and it was such a Christmas miracle that I almost put off my Christmas trip to NYC to gleefully pour through every poorly redacted line of it. Also, we had the rich old aunt's ashes sitting on our bookshelf for years, since the dispute about what to do with her remains was part of it all.
One Third Of One Percent
The lawyer who did my & my husband's will told us this one.
This couple had 3 children whose jobs were doctor, lawyer, and teacher. They split their assets 33/33/34, in favor of the teacher who earned less money than the doctor and lawyer. The doctor and lawyer contested the will over .33% each.
This is why our lawyer recommended that we include a clause in our will to exclude anyone who contested our will.
Lawyer here: two years ago a guy (70s, grandpa) came in to my old firm to revise his will to give something to everyone except this one granddaughter who was about 17-19. The reason? He saw her uhh.... sexy social media postings.
It's Over Because Of Rover
I don't normally do wills in my practice, but when I passed the bar I had a friend who insisted that I do his will. He was trying to give me business, which is incredibly kind. He was a middle aged, single guy, so it was simple enough. When we sat down to do the paperwork, the first thing I asked him about was who he wanted to take his dog if he died before the dog.
He had never thought about it before, and he just could not handle the thought of leaving his dog. He made excuses and begged off for a long time before just abandoning writing his will. I completely understand, it's not like a fun thing to do.
A Dollar And A Note
Not a lawyer, but had a fun story with my grandma's brother's will.
For the last 10 to 15 yrs he had been paying child support and sending money to this lady who he said was his girlfriend and the child "they had together".
For years his other children and my grandma had been trying to convince him that the girl was obviously not his.
The "girlfriend" would appear only on payday and stay the bare minimum. The girl called another guy dad and had his last name. The "girlfriend" insisted he was her friend, but the other children found out he lived with her and all. It was obvious to everyone, except to my great-uncle who we believe was just happy for a nice-looking lady to visit him.
He payed for their whole lives, house/school/vacations.
The day he died she was the first one at the door.
He left her and her kid $1 each, with a note saying he had given them their inheritance while alive.
Disclaimer, this was a story told to me by an estates attorney.
Deceased's (father) son was a prior client of the attorney. Son did not really talk his father but wanted to make sure estate was wrapped up properly. They did not know if a will existed but knew dad had a safety deposit box.
Get a court order to open the box and sure enough a will was in there. The will though left a lions share of his estate (maybe a few thousand dollars) to a woman who no one knew. In with the will were also pictures of a nude woman and a stage name something like "cinnamon" or "candy," written on the back. They were able to put 2 and 2 together and realized that the father had left part of his estate to a stripper who he enjoyed visiting in his older age.
She had no idea and they had to track her down which was also a nightmare I'm told. Imagine teams of lawyers going to strip clubs trying to find this specific dancer. They finally found her and she came to the office for a check accompanied by a "male friend" (lawyer assumes he was a pimp). She ended up receiving, as I mentioned above, a few thousand but it always got me how the old guy left nude photos of her to help identify her.
Not a lawyer, a financial adviser. A woman left about a million USD to her horse. My client is a horse. We manage his investments...the sister of the deceased pulls out about 3-4% annually to care for the beneficiary of the trust.
Not in the will, but my mother left her estate to me, and my four brothers, share and share alike. My oldest brother was physically, and mentally disabled. A few days before she died, she asked one of my other brothers to have all of us turn our shares over to my disabled brother.
Keep in mind; he was getting disability, lived in a nice group home, had all of his medical covered, and risked losing all of this if he had any substantial assets. Also, they asked that the money be put into an irrevocable trust. This means that if my brother passed, the money would go to the State of Pennsylvania.
My brother was in very poor health, and my Mother's wishes were never codified into her written will. We met for a breakfast meeting (me, and my three other brothers), and two of us agreed to the trust, two of us did not. I did not. I have an adult disabled daughter, and was much more fluent in the ins and out of providing for a disabled child. I didn't want to come across as greedy, or mean, but I knew what the irrevocable trust meant, and they didn't. There was no bad blood, and we all respected each other's decisions.
While my brother was in the process of setting up the trust, our disabled brother died of natural causes related to this disability. Two of us had chosen to not make an emotional decision in the wake of my mother's death. In the end, her wishes never came to fruition because of my brother's death - but if we had all agreed to these wishes, the State of Pennsylvania would have made out like a bandit.
My 2 Cents
My brother used to be a paralegal, and he said that a group of three siblings (I believe two brothers and a sister) almost came to blows because the inheritance didn't divide into three evenly; there were two pennies left over.
We had a man put in his will that his family was to go to the zoo immediately after his burial (that day). We thought that was more heart warming.
My dad is a lawyer. He once wrote a will for a man who was in his late 80's and had end stage cancer. He was a big fan of weapons and wanted to give them to my dad. The old man said he wanted to give dad two shotguns, a Glock and a revolver. My dad totally wanted them, but rather than take them right away he recommended that they just be written in the will. My country's law says you can only own 5 weapons at a time, but if you inherit them, it doesn't add to the limit. My dad had already 4 at the time so he would have to give some up if the old man just gave him the guns.
So they made a testament and in the written will he gave him the weapons - except for the revolver. He said it was "because it was his favorite and didn't want to give it away yet." My dad said he instantly had a bad feeling that there was another reason the man wanted to keep it. Two weeks later the guy shot himself - with that revolver.
Dad still hasn't got the revolver because the police still have it in possession as evidence. Dad said he felt like this guy wanted the choice to end his life on his own terms instead if waiting for the cancer to win.
We're all adults who are totally mature and don't, at all, giggle a little bit on the inside when someone talks about what conditions are like on Uranus.
Yeah just kidding, that's hilarious.
Uranus is our favorite heavenly body.
Reddit user rsideoson asked:
"What is a word that sounds inappropriate?"
Don't worry, Reddit is absolutely no more mature than we are and we all deserve a childish giggle every now and then.
"Uvula (dangly bit in your throat)"
"Ooohhh, so it's a girl house"
" 'All god's children got a uvula!'."
"In Swedish it is called gomspene whick translates to pallet teet."
"That little dangly thing that’s hanging in the back of their throat?"
- Admirable-Door1724Snl Season 47 GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
A What Hole ?
"Our city has had several instances of exploding manholes in the downtown area. My friends never let an opportunity to make such comments pass them by. (And I love them for it!)"
"Played some drawing game once where you'd draw the word u get by the game and others would try guess it...my friend got that word and drew a .. manhole..like.. a literal manhole not the actual one, and that was when i learned that word lol"
Chew Works Too
"Especially at the dinner table.."
"Those mukbangers masticate all over the place"
"This is the winner."
"Do you oppose public mastication?"
- Cy41995Hot Dog Eating GIF by NBAGiphy
Lets Just Not Use It Anymore
"This is not a fun or funny example, but, 'niggardly'."
"Etymologically, it has absolutely nothing to do with that other word. They have totally different origins, and sound/look similar purely as a matter of coincidence."
"But it's just not worth the explanation when "stingy" or 'miserly" work just as well, so it's basically a dead word."
"Even the Reverend Jesse Jackson defended the use of this word."
"Also, TIL he's still alive."
"I remember being a preteen and stepdad using this word. I was horrified. He was mildly racist so I wasn’t too surprised but we were in public. 'Dad!!!! There’s a black woman right there!!!'."
"He explained what it meant but I sure never ever used that word."
"Yeah this word is gone forever. There is no way of tossing that out in casual conversation ever again, and even if you did you'd have to spend a good few minutes defending what you meant and looking it up to prove it."
Playing Around With Speed
"It's a running term and as a grown man I still giggle when I hear it."
"Wait is that how it’s spelled? I always thought it was Fartlick lol"
"You guys use that? It's Norwegian, meaning speed game."
"Fartlek’s were misery in high school XC. Always just called it a fart lick"
- silverhammer96Safari Park Running GIF by San Diego ZooGiphy
Fortunella Sounds Fancier
"Got banned from a forum for calling someone a kumquat. No regrets."
"The restaurant I worked at had a kumquat margarita and for a good 2 weeks the menu accidentally had cumquat, but each time the manager tried to fix it they’d accidentally print the wrong on again and there’d be too many copies to just throw out."
"That's a good one"
The 'L' Is Important
"This may only be true in American English...in other accents it's much less suggestive"
"Don't wanna wait forever for that caulk to harden"
"I used to work for a construction company doing purchasing and apparently in the winter caulk gets cold and refuses to work so you need to put your caulk in a caulk warmer"
"My brother insists on over enunciating the L so it sounds like. Cow-LK"
- jawshoeawhomer simpson GIFGiphy
You Sure About This One?
"Jiggers, also known as the chigoe flea. Similarly, chiggers, also known as berry bugs."
"Jigger is also the little double-ended cup bartenders use for measuring alcohol for cocktails."
"I was looking for these two."
" 'Jigger' is used every day by Australian surveyors. It’s what we call our theodolites or Total Stations. Short for thingamajigger perhaps. If my mate’s jigger wasn’t cooperating, he’d say 'jigger please'.”
"What’s my motherf*cking name?"
So Many Botanical Puns
"One summer day at a barbecue at my mum in laws, she walked outside and announced “wait til you see the size of the flower on my clematis” I snort inhaled my wine"
"I think they can cure that with a penicillin shot/s"
"Another botanical word that makes me giggle:"
"Scabiosa. Or, as the Brits would say, scabious."
This Is Another One We Should Maybe Not Use
"Negus. It means a hot drink of port, sugar, lemon, and spices, and it's a royal title."
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"Doesn't it also refer to an Ethiopian king?"
"Negan in Roman times."
" 'I am Negus! Thou shalt provide me with copious produce!'."
You heard (and laughed at) Reddits appropriately inappropriate words, now it's your turn to get in on the fun.
As much as people try to put on a good face in public, many of them have idiosyncratic behavior–like involuntary foot-tapping–they are ashamed of having.
Some folks, however, are not as self-aware.
These individuals could care less about other people and they act like the world is their nasty, unkempt, malodorous, living room.
Curious to hear examples of gross behavior, Redditor Dazzling_Age_4795 asked:
"What's the most disgusting bad habit?"
No one wants to see it, yet, here we are.
"Taking a dump and then not flushing in public toilets."
"I work in reception in a dental office, our Covid protocols included having wipe down the bathroom after each person. The amount of pee I’ve had to wipe off the seat and floor is absolutely disgusting. People are pigs- wipe the damn seat if your aim is that awful!!! They knew too, the intense stare down I gave them when exiting the bathroom, oh they knew."
Lazy Pet Owners
"Dog poop ( living in holland ) drives me crazy how much is just lying around. Disguisting habit for dog owners to just not care to clean it up. Which is in fact mandatory but hey... if no one sees it, its not a crime."
"People who don’t pick up their dog’s poop don’t deserve to have a dog. I also hate seeing bags of dog sh*t left on the ground. Like why bag it and just leave it there? It’s actually better for the environment if you don’t put it in the bag, lazy."
The Gross Collection
"Keeping your booger wall in plain sight where guests can see it."
"I once saw a person picking their ear and eating the wax. That sh*ts even worse then picking and eating out of your nose."
Those without any concept of having respect for their environment are very telling of the type of person they are.
Trashing The Place
"Those folk who buy cigarettes and casually walk around unwrapping and dropping plastic as they go... God I hate those guys."
Driving Smokers Suck
"People smoking while driving seem to almost always throw their cigarette butt out the window without a care in the world."
And those who don't have any respect for others in public got majorly slammed.
"Not sure if it's a 'habit', per se, but those people that have their phones on speaker ALL THE WAY UP casually talking on the train, in the grocery store, and in restaurants. I do not want to hear about your mother's bunion."
"Dude for real. I go to the library every once in a while for some quiet time.. the number of people who talk on their phone is ridiculous. Half the time if you go up to them and ask if they could be quieter or take it to the lobby they act like you're the rude one."
Clogging The Shower
"Taking a sh*t in the shower and pushing it into the drain... I knew people who did that, safe to say I don't anymore."
A Crappy Confession
"I’ve got to be honest, I farted once and a nugget, maybe the size of a pickled onion, fell out whilst I was taking a shower. As the particular bathroom I was in had the toilet in a separate room I decided the safest option for me was to squish the turd into the drain with my foot."
"I’m not proud but sometimes it has to be done."
"For clarity, I do not condone purposely dropping a full sh*t in the shower."
– User Deleted
Germy COVID Hands
"Not washing hands after using the bathroom, especially in public. Like at a restaurant."
Look, I know we all have our quirks, but I'm just not a nail-chewing and booger-flicking stan.
It's not like people with these habits are deliberately trying to inconvenience my life. But...they are.
I don't need to be stepping on nail remnants and dried-up balls of nose mucus with my barefeet.
So, what gross habits and/or behavior really gets your blood boiling?
People have different levels of tolerance when it comes to profanity.
And some people can't stand the sound of rude or vulgar language so much that they can't bring themselves to say these naughty words themselves.
But when anyone reaches a high level of anger or frustration, they still might need a verbal outlet.
And instead find themselves coming up with an alternative word, which helps them release their anger, but won't offend any nearby ears.
Redditor No-Citron5628 was curious to hear people's favorite alternatives to curse words, leading them to ask:
"What is your best swear word alternative?"
"Oh neptune."- StrappinYoungZiltoid
The last thing you want to find in your bed!
Instead of rude, be educational!
"I said this instead of… other words once when I tripped and accidentally taught this to my nephew."
"Now my sister sends me videos of my nephew saying it when things don’t go his way."- YellowForest4Warning GIFGiphy
Think of the children!
"Not sure of an actual word, but my bf and I have been trying to limit cursing since my toddler is becoming very verbal."
"He’s resorted to making very angry yelling caveman sounds when he wants to curse someone out rather than using the actual words."- Present-Lime-1244
"I like, 'slug in a ditch'."- spiked_macaroonslug GIFGiphy
We can always learn a thing or two from the kids...
"A child in my class tries to swear but unintentionally says foot instead of f*ck."
"It's probably my favorite alternative."
"Wow, didn't expect this to get so much attention."
"Thank you for the award! "
"For those asking, he is a very tiny child with a deep yorkshire accent who actually picked up the word from another child but hasn't noticed he doesn't have the pronunciation quite right yet."
"Context wise though he's bang on which makes it even funnier."- sophishx
Just one word won't do!
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, LARRY?!"
"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?!"- KevinBillyStinkwater
Be mindful, it could backfire
"When my son was little he started saying bastard so I kept saying custard."
"Until the day he complained that we were having bananas and bastard again."- CheeryShortarseDoctor Who Snack GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy
Mother knows best.
"My mother always said, 'Curses!'"
"We, the kids, laugh about it all the time."- tenzip10-0
If you feel like you've sufficiently got your anger or frustration out of your system, your choice of words served their purpose.
Whether or not they would have to be bleeped out on network TV.
When we think of iconic movie quotes, there are several which come instantly to mind.
"Here's looking at you, kid."
"Love is never having to say you're sorry."
"I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."
Appropriately, the ones that might haunt us the most, are those delivered by villains, who linger in our memories not only by their creepy attire and presence but by their devious choice of words.
Frightening us long after the credits stop rolling.
Redditor N_the_character was eager to hear what the Reddit community considered the best quotes from both Hollywood's legendary villains, as well as some lesser-known antagonists from film, TV, and video games, leading them to ask:
"What's the most bada** villain quote?"
Benedict from Last Action Hero
"Benedict to youg Danny in 'Last Action Hero':"
"I should tell you that I have killed people smarter and younger than you."- S-Marktlast action hero art GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
"Pirates are evil?"
"The Marines are righteous?"
"These terms have always changed throughout the course of history!"
"Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!"
"Those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right!"
"This very place is neutral ground!"
"Justice will prevail, you say?"
"But of course it will!"
"Whoever wins this war becomes justice!"- TimeisaLie
The Man with the Midas Touch...
"Goldfinger after Bond says 'Do you expect me to talk?'
"'No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die'."- Hunk_StudlyInterrupting GIF by James Bond 007Giphy
The Last Airbender's Azula
"Dai Li: 'You've beaten me at my own game'."
"Azula: 'Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player'."- herculesmeowlligan
Inigo Montoya, watch out!
"'Good Heavens, are you still trying to win?'"
"-the six fingered man."
Video game villains shouldn't be forgotten, ask Ghaul
“'You are not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death'."
"'Allow me to reacquaint you'.”- KentuckyBourbon94
The Good, the Bad, and the one-liners
"'When you have to shoot, shoot'."
"Tuco, 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'."- jpablo680
Whiterose of Mr. Robot
“'Because Phillip, I had to ask you twice'.”- Lontano64
The final frontier indeed...
"'A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place'."
"'To force them to acknowledge your greatness'."
"Gul Dukat, Deep Space Nine."- hamdingersDeep Space Nine Dislike GIF by Star TrekGiphy
A true villain will have you quaking in your boots with just one look.
But it's with their words that they really get you.
And how they instantly go from being merely villains, to legends.