Lawyers Reveal The Craziest (And Legal) Last Will And Testament Stories They've Dealt With
We see the "fulfilling the last will" trope in movies all the time. Someone's rich somebody dies, and they stumble into some fortune or another because of the last will. If screenwriters really want to shake things up, they add in some condition to the will, like having to spend a night in a haunted house or something. But honestly speaking, this stuff never happens in real life... right?
One Reddit user asked:
Look; we don't want to spoil your plans, but it looks like forcing your relatives to run a dangerous cross-country relay race to decide who gets to care for your beloved chiweenie after you're dead isn't legally enforceable. We know. We were bummed, too. Corndog deserves better than this. (If you have a Chiweenie and you didn't name it Corndog, you missed a golden opportunity, folks.)
Here are some of our favorite responses:
Chris Jericho
GiphyMilitary lawyer here. Had a young client come in for a will before deployment. He put a request to be buried in blue jeans, a Chris Jericho t-shirt, and his replica WWE championship belt. Happily, this airman didn't meet any misfortune on his deployment.
- Kumahito
Bus Driver
I worked at an attorney office and little older lady gave her house and her belongings to a bus driver. The bus driver was nice to her and would help her, we were all waiting for hell to break loose when her family found out.
Smartphone Precedent
Not a lawyer, but paralegal. We had a dying client in hospital change her Will by recording it on a smart phone. It set a precedent and made the local paper. The lawyer in question has the page from the newspaper framed in his office.
The Great Stork Derby
The Great Stork Derby was when a wealthy Canadian left a substantial amount of money to whichever woman had the most children in the 10 years following his death. It was upheld through numerous court battles and 4 women tied with 9 children each. Two women were also given smaller payouts. One had 10 children (2 were stillborn), and another had more than 9 kids, but a few were illegitimate.
The guy also had some other interesting things in his will and was a known practical joker.
- splat313
The Tree
Where I went to college, there's an oak tree that was deeded to itself in a man's will. Now called The Tree That Owns Itself, it sits in the middle of a road and you have to go to one lane to drive around it. Story is that a man loved the tree so much as a kid, that around the time he died in the 1830's, he gave the tree possession of itself. This technically wouldn't stand up in a court of law, but the county and local populace has accepted it and takes care of it. The original tree actually died and the current one is a product of one of the acorns of the original!
Cats
GiphyI work for a lawyer who does wills.
We've had a lady put in her will that one of her adult sons was not to receive his share until he visited a dentist and the other son lost 70lbs.
Another lady put in her will that she wanted her cats cremated with her when she died. Euthanized to be buried with her. I was so pissed off. I told the lawyer that's absolute bullshit. And though she agreed she had to put in as instructed and hoped that living family members at the time of her death wouldn't uphold that part. Told her that's not going to happen, human remains and animal remains do not get cremated at once. So she settled on cremated separately and joined together, then buried together.
This Family Was All Shook Up
One of my uncles was really rich and really crazy... not in the good way. We almost never saw him, he visited us maybe once every ten years. The last time he did, he flew in just to take us to Denny's. He met my brother in an airport, was there for an hour, ate, and got on another plane and went home.
When he died he had no friends. He had driven his wife to basically drink herself to death a few years prior, so she was gone too. He left his entire estate to an Elvis impersonator. Everything.
Unwanted Divorce
I was a witness to one where the lady wanted to make sure her daughter divorced her husband (when she had no intentions of doing so) if she wanted her part of the estate. Thankfully that is not legally enforceable so nothing came from it.
Rapture
Estate lawyer here. I once had true believers who were convinced the rapture was imminent and only saw the value of completing their estate plan when I explained the mess those of us left behind would have to deal with, including their stuff.
- GCND2X
Embezzlement and Bigamy in the Phillipines
GiphyI mean, it's not that crazy. It's depressingly predictable. Rich old aunt the only one in her huge family with any money, having been a doctor on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. She set up a living trust to take care of her poor relations in the Philippines, to continue as a death trust whenever she died. Her favorite niece was in control of the trust, and of course the niece was responsible and even handed and never ever embezzled any of the money to set herself up as a newspaper publisher and concert producer and media mogul with new expensive cars and lots of first class pan Pacific travel, nope, not her.
Hahaha of course the trustee did all that. Hundreds of thousands of dollars missing, and an unholy mess of sifting through money transfers and property purchases in three countries. The niece also had a bigamous marriage to some loser in the Phillipines (her legal husband in north america was bedridden and dying slowly), to whom she sent buckets of her aunt's money to build a luxury villa. She vehemently denied such a relationship existed. She also had photos of the "wedding" on her Facebook page. Not the smartest embezzler out there.
From where I sat, in the attorney's office representing the poor relations trying to stop the trustee's embezzlement, the craziest part of it all was that after years of fighting, we finally got complete financial disclosure for the trust on like December 22, and it was such a Christmas miracle that I almost put off my Christmas trip to NYC to gleefully pour through every poorly redacted line of it. Also, we had the rich old aunt's ashes sitting on our bookshelf for years, since the dispute about what to do with her remains was part of it all.
One Third Of One Percent
The lawyer who did my & my husband's will told us this one.
This couple had 3 children whose jobs were doctor, lawyer, and teacher. They split their assets 33/33/34, in favor of the teacher who earned less money than the doctor and lawyer. The doctor and lawyer contested the will over .33% each.
This is why our lawyer recommended that we include a clause in our will to exclude anyone who contested our will.
Thanks, Internet!
Lawyer here: two years ago a guy (70s, grandpa) came in to my old firm to revise his will to give something to everyone except this one granddaughter who was about 17-19. The reason? He saw her uhh.... sexy social media postings.
It's Over Because Of Rover
I don't normally do wills in my practice, but when I passed the bar I had a friend who insisted that I do his will. He was trying to give me business, which is incredibly kind. He was a middle aged, single guy, so it was simple enough. When we sat down to do the paperwork, the first thing I asked him about was who he wanted to take his dog if he died before the dog.
He had never thought about it before, and he just could not handle the thought of leaving his dog. He made excuses and begged off for a long time before just abandoning writing his will. I completely understand, it's not like a fun thing to do.
- sykopoet
A Dollar And A Note
Not a lawyer, but had a fun story with my grandma's brother's will.
For the last 10 to 15 yrs he had been paying child support and sending money to this lady who he said was his girlfriend and the child "they had together".
For years his other children and my grandma had been trying to convince him that the girl was obviously not his.
The "girlfriend" would appear only on payday and stay the bare minimum. The girl called another guy dad and had his last name. The "girlfriend" insisted he was her friend, but the other children found out he lived with her and all. It was obvious to everyone, except to my great-uncle who we believe was just happy for a nice-looking lady to visit him.
He payed for their whole lives, house/school/vacations.
The day he died she was the first one at the door.
He left her and her kid $1 each, with a note saying he had given them their inheritance while alive.
Nude Photos
GiphyDisclaimer, this was a story told to me by an estates attorney.
Deceased's (father) son was a prior client of the attorney. Son did not really talk his father but wanted to make sure estate was wrapped up properly. They did not know if a will existed but knew dad had a safety deposit box.
Get a court order to open the box and sure enough a will was in there. The will though left a lions share of his estate (maybe a few thousand dollars) to a woman who no one knew. In with the will were also pictures of a nude woman and a stage name something like "cinnamon" or "candy," written on the back. They were able to put 2 and 2 together and realized that the father had left part of his estate to a stripper who he enjoyed visiting in his older age.
She had no idea and they had to track her down which was also a nightmare I'm told. Imagine teams of lawyers going to strip clubs trying to find this specific dancer. They finally found her and she came to the office for a check accompanied by a "male friend" (lawyer assumes he was a pimp). She ended up receiving, as I mentioned above, a few thousand but it always got me how the old guy left nude photos of her to help identify her.
The Horse
Not a lawyer, a financial adviser. A woman left about a million USD to her horse. My client is a horse. We manage his investments...the sister of the deceased pulls out about 3-4% annually to care for the beneficiary of the trust.
Irrevocable Trust
Not in the will, but my mother left her estate to me, and my four brothers, share and share alike. My oldest brother was physically, and mentally disabled. A few days before she died, she asked one of my other brothers to have all of us turn our shares over to my disabled brother.
Keep in mind; he was getting disability, lived in a nice group home, had all of his medical covered, and risked losing all of this if he had any substantial assets. Also, they asked that the money be put into an irrevocable trust. This means that if my brother passed, the money would go to the State of Pennsylvania.
My brother was in very poor health, and my Mother's wishes were never codified into her written will. We met for a breakfast meeting (me, and my three other brothers), and two of us agreed to the trust, two of us did not. I did not. I have an adult disabled daughter, and was much more fluent in the ins and out of providing for a disabled child. I didn't want to come across as greedy, or mean, but I knew what the irrevocable trust meant, and they didn't. There was no bad blood, and we all respected each other's decisions.
While my brother was in the process of setting up the trust, our disabled brother died of natural causes related to this disability. Two of us had chosen to not make an emotional decision in the wake of my mother's death. In the end, her wishes never came to fruition because of my brother's death - but if we had all agreed to these wishes, the State of Pennsylvania would have made out like a bandit.
My 2 Cents
My brother used to be a paralegal, and he said that a group of three siblings (I believe two brothers and a sister) almost came to blows because the inheritance didn't divide into three evenly; there were two pennies left over.
Zoo Trip
GiphyWe had a man put in his will that his family was to go to the zoo immediately after his burial (that day). We thought that was more heart warming.
The Revolver
My dad is a lawyer. He once wrote a will for a man who was in his late 80's and had end stage cancer. He was a big fan of weapons and wanted to give them to my dad. The old man said he wanted to give dad two shotguns, a Glock and a revolver. My dad totally wanted them, but rather than take them right away he recommended that they just be written in the will. My country's law says you can only own 5 weapons at a time, but if you inherit them, it doesn't add to the limit. My dad had already 4 at the time so he would have to give some up if the old man just gave him the guns.
So they made a testament and in the written will he gave him the weapons - except for the revolver. He said it was "because it was his favorite and didn't want to give it away yet." My dad said he instantly had a bad feeling that there was another reason the man wanted to keep it. Two weeks later the guy shot himself - with that revolver.
Dad still hasn't got the revolver because the police still have it in possession as evidence. Dad said he felt like this guy wanted the choice to end his life on his own terms instead if waiting for the cancer to win.
The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient
Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'
"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."
~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath
It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.
But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.
Reddit user Monsah asked:
"What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?"
Reproductive Health
"I was being treated on week 2 with medication for an ectopic pregnancy—fetus in the fallopian tube, 0% chance for baby, very small chance for myself to live if not taken care of. I was told to go to the ER if I developed severe pain."
"I developed severe pain and went to the ER."
"The doctor on call sat there and tried to casually discuss what kind of pain meds I might like WITH MY HUSBAND as I was writhing in pain on the bed. Husband insists doc should just make a decision and give me the meds now."
"Finally gave me a pain pill and told me no need for an ultrasound, just did some bloodwork for my file. I go home and wait it out with a script for pain meds."
"I told him the pain was severe and could be the tube bursting and he told me that miscarriages just hurt."
"I went into the gyno treating me 2 days later and he took one look at me and booked me for emergency surgery. The tube had burst and I had so much internal bleeding that they had to have a general surgeon assist in the cleanup in my abdomen."
"My bowels were adhering to the broken tube and had to be carefully separated. Later, my doc told me I was very lucky and the moron at the ER should have sent me in to an ultrasound based on the pain alone."
"The blood work was apparently alarming."
"Went back for an IV to the same sh*tty ER a few months after. That same sh*t ER doc checked my abdomen and saw the surgery scars."
"He commented I must have recently had an operation!"
"I told him 'yeah, you misdiagnosed my burst ectopic pregnancy and I had to get emergency surgery at a different hospital'. He didn't say sh*t after that."
"If I had the money, I would sue the a**hole."
~ poppykayak
"I also had an ectopic several years ago. I had missed my period and suspected being pregnant."
"A week later had severe pain where I couldn’t stand up and walk and wasn’t sure if it was my period coming on. Went to an urgent care and they confirmed I was pregnant but probably having a miscarriage."
"The pain was bad in my side, and I even suspected ectopic—but the male doctor there said miscarriages are painful and he knows what ectopic pain should look like, and that’s definitely not what I have."
"He told me to go home and just basically rest."
"So I believed him, and headed out—a nurse, female, stopped me in the front lobby and strongly insisted I go to the ER. My husband also wouldn’t let me just brush it off and took me in."
"At the ER they did an ultrasound and my entire abdomen was filled with fluid. I had emergency surgery and got really lucky with a rare ectopic that exploded backwards into my peritoneal cavity (called a tubal abortion) and got away without a ruptured ovary."
"The female surgeon said that in her 20 year career she had never seen a case like mine."
"Still sucked, and f'k that first doctor."
~ pheonixrising23
"Doctor said that either I cheated or my husband did because that kind of cervical pain was always chlamydia."
"It was an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and resulted in emergency life-saving surgery. But thanks for listening doctor!"
"My personal OB happened to be at the hospital that night and came to tell me the news herself, giving him the angriest look I’ve ever seen in a professional setting."
~ grannywanda9
"I’d been sent by ambulance from our local urgent care to a hospital due to kidney pain and a funny shadow on my xray. Emergency room doctor was insistent 'it must be a STI' despite me having no genital symptoms, and he demanded to do a pelvic exam."
"This doctor aggressively tried to mimic my pain from the inside by jamming his hand up my vag. The nurse chaperone looked embarrassed when I said to the doctor, 'if you’re not careful, you’ll lose your watch up there'."
"He then discharged me from the hospital at 3 am saying he couldn’t find anything wrong with me."
"At 9 am the original urgent care doc called back since she saw I was discharged but my blood tests were back and I was septic."
~ Omissionsoftheomen
Digestive Health
"My older sister had unbearable GI issues for years growing up."
"Pediatrician told our parents that 'children get tummy aches' and to try peppermint Altoids.
"She ended up having emergency surgery where they had to remove her entire large intestine because it was necrotic and had tumors.
"Permanent colostomy by the time she was 14."
~ Currentlyunsureatm
"Both my parents are doctors, a Pediatrician and a Pulmonologist/ICU doc."
"Since 4TH GRADE I’d had very frequent upset stomachs and pain. I was always told 'it can just happen' or 'it’s too hard to figure out'."
"It got to the point where when I had BLEEDING from my intestines I didn’t want to say anything cause I thought I’d be brushed off. This was until I was going into my senior year of high school."
"It flared to the point I couldn’t move and lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks."
"Lo and behold, I had Ulcerative Colitis that was diagnosed within a day of tests it was so bad."
~ GamingBeluga
"I had been bleeding for 8 months when my GP told me I 'didn't meet the criteria' for a colonoscopy."
"Finally did get diagnosed with mild ulcerative colitis later on, but that conversation with the GP was the most frustrating part of the whole saga."
~ calvesofdespair
"'It can't be colon cancer because you're too young'."
"My brother got cancer at that exact age, as she knew."
~ Liraeyn
"The really f'ked up thing about this one is that it's standard procedure to monitor for colon cancer based on family history."
"Generally guidelines recommend if a first degree family member (mom, dad, brother, sister) had colon cancer before they were elderly, they should start getting screened at an age 10 years younger than when they were diagnosed."
"So that doctor straight up ignored national treatment guidelines."
~ thatrandomdude12
"My younger sister was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer at 26 (not a typo, that's twenty six.) And it took her a couple of years to convince her doc to order any tests, despite passing blood in her stool."
"I get that she was especially young to have such an advanced case, but I will never not be angry when I read a comment about docs telling folks that they are too young to be checked for colon cancer."
~ Coldricepudding
Children's Health
"I took my then 4-year-old daughter to a pediatric gastroenterologist. First he said 'she's just being dramatic'."
"Then he said, 'well, she'll get married some day and be someone else's problem'."
"That was 25 years ago, and it still shocks me!"
"Turned out she had a partial bowel obstruction."
~ kellygrrrl328
"When I took my then 4-year-old to a pediatric gastroenterologist because she still couldn't control her bowels and clearly had no feeling down there, the specialist told me she was doing it for attention and just didn't 'want to' use the toilet."
"She went on and on about how she'd been in the business for 20 years. When my daughter told her she really wanted to fix the problem so she could go to day camp, the doctor told her she was lying."
"That human turd was in the room when I finally got my daughter tested for bowel insensitivity (I don't remember the official name) and they found out that she did not, in fact, have any feeling in her bowels."
"I looked that b*tch in the face and said, 'Now do you believe us?' She just looked away."
~ paingry
Mental Health
"'You're 27. I don't know what you have to be anxious about'."
"This was in the 1990s."
~ PrincessSummerTop
"When I described my anxiety and depression the doctor said, 'but you aren’t overweight and over thirty!'."
~ seventh-street
"I was told the same just a few months ago at age 25."
"I replied 'well my mom just died' to which he said 'that’s too bad' and continued on with the exam."
~ Familiar_Honey_98
"'That's normal in your line of work. Just ignore it, the pain will go away'."
"I went in for shoulder pain, as my left shoulder would be killing me after a day loading trucks all day. This was an ongoing thing for weeks before I went to get it checked."
"Didn't examine my shoulder. Didn't have any x-rays done, catscans done, MRIs done, nothing. Hell, didn't even have me take my shirt off."
"Turns out that I had a torn rotator cuff."
"Had another doc tell me that the stomach pain that had me pissing myself, throwing up, and passing out was from 'gas'."
"Again, without any type of examination, just listening to the symptoms. Two days later I was dying on the OR table from a necrotic appendix."
~ Redditor
A common theme in all these stories are doctors not listening to their patients or their parents.
While a doctor may be a medical expert, they should remember the patient is the expert for their own body.
When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.
Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.
However, this is not always true.
Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:
"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"
Bad Breath
""First of all, brush your teeth...""
– iSniffMyPooper
"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."
– ClumsyGhostObserver
"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."
– Floptopus
"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"
– Average_Aloe
"About the same in his case, really."
– Floptopus
Yikes! That Face!
""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""
"– Groucho Marx"
– chumloadio
""You have the face for a career in radio.""
– badmother
""...and a voice for print.""
– Byanl
If Only We Never Met
"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."
– Swivel_D
"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""
– Non_Music_Prodigy
Crime Against Humanity
"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"
– pantsoncrooked
"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."
– RBpositive
Winston Churchill
"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"
"-Winston Churchill"
– Triton289
"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"
– hdroadking
"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"
"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"
"May be slightly different wording."
– No-comment-at-all
"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."
– Rare_Parsnip905
Wrong!
""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""
– shaidyn
""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""
– a_in_hd
Tough Love
"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"
– OhSassafrass
"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."
– InverstNoob
What I Like About You
"“Do you know what I like about you?”"
"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"
– Axeman517
"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."
– TruCelt
"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."
– Ketcunt
""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""
– OnionMiasma
Rumor Has It
""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""
"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."
– NinjatheClick
Intelligence Called Out
"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."
– rrashad21
"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."
– MembraneintheInzane
Oooh!
"You are impossible to underestimate."
"You never fail to meet my expectations."
– Zyhre
Hilarious
"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."
– Edward_the_Dog
"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."
– -Envixity
I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!
People Share The Dumbest Reason They Ever Got Fired From Their Job
I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.
Eventually they were found.
On the floor.
Under their desk.
Sleeping.
They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.
While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.
Reddit user strykazoid asked:
"What's the dumbest reason a job ever fired you?"
Heartless
"I was 17. My Grandpa died unexpectedly from a heart attack. My Mother called my work’s office to let me know."
"I was called to the office to talk on the office phone to my mother, and staff (who were told what was going on) left the area so my mother could privately break the news to me."
"I was obliterated of course, and walked outside for about 15 minutes to clear my head. I then went back to work."
"The woman who was in charge of the entire operation fired me for leaving the building."
"Human Resources stepped in and stopped the situation before I could be notified that I had been fired."
"I only found out that this had happened after my grandpa's funeral days later."
"I quit immediately."
~ moochir
Weekly Occurrence
"I had an alcoholic handy man who was promoted to manager. This was a family owned restaurant and this guy had known the father of the current generation."
"He 'fired' me several times a week for not bumming him a cigarette or not wanting to work the second dining room when we had 5 reservations or taking my approved unpaid time off."
"But he was a drunk who started with scotch and moved into amaretto so never remembered."
"I'd just come back the next day."
~ Shababajoe
Going Surfing
"For surfing the internet."
"Punchline: part of my job was to surf the internet and find content for their social media platforms."
"I wish I was making that up. I am not."
~ Sea-Woodpecker-610
Throwing Their Voice
"Fast food manager said a customer complained that he could hear me cussin' in the back."
"It was a couple days later when they fired me, but they said the incident happened on a day I happened to be off."
"I had a feeling the manager didn't like me much and planned poorly on when they'd claim the so called 'incident' happened."
~ Cool1Mach
"'I heard you cussin' when you weren't here. Don't ask me how that's possible'."
~ probablythrowaway71
Not an Escort Service
"I was 16 and refused to date the owner’s niece."
~ VosTutZich
"Do people think other people are property???"
~ Crackheadwithabrain
"Yes. Many, many people who own or manage businesses think exactly this."
~ G0-N0G0-GO
Last In, First Out
"In the days after 9/11 my employer (multinational bank) instantly fired the last 2 people hired in every department where there was redundancy, hedging against a financial collapse whenever the markets reopened."
"I just happened to be the last guy hired in my department."
~ ClmrThnUR
Poor Pandemic Planning
"Covid-19 forced everyone to work from home on hastily setup computers and infrastructure."
"Then they fired the IT staff because we were deemed ‘nonessential’."
"Bit them in the a** hard enough to remove chunks."
~ wkarraker
Not a "Team Player"
"Not 'fired' but let go with severance. CFO told me to make up historical reports because they weren't done in the past, but now required, and wanted to show how so much better metrics are now than in the past."
"What they were asking for was literally not possible to do since the data was not tracked to what they were asking and wanted to tweak the past numbers into a full-on made-up breakdown."
"I told the controller I wasn't comfortable doing this. The next week I got paid out."
"A month later I found out the CFO was canned."
~ Kir-ius
On Your Own Time
"Performance was bad. one of the reasons given was."
"'Reading newspapers in the lunch room'."
"Which was during my scheduled break."
~ tmacdevitt
Oops!
"I wrote a video game script for a small developer. They 'forgot' to tell me when they started voice work—part of my job required me to help with voice acting sessions."
"I finally was invited to a session with a big name actor, especially known in video games. The director asked me why I hadn’t been present for the past two weeks’ worth of recording."
"Apparently, telling the truth, that no one had told me recording had begun, was the wrong move."
"The developers fired me the next day despite my work already being done, which essentially meant I’d have no part in DLC or sequel(s)."
~ drewxdeficit
Should Have Dropped Out
"I worked at Walmart while I was in high school and one of the managers kept scheduling me to open or for me to be there at 2."
"I told them, many times, that I was in high school and those shifts wouldn't work."
"I guess they didn't get that memo; the store manager fired me for missing work and being late."
~ stackjr
What Do You Mean You Were Gone?
"Walmart fired me because they put out the schedule while I was on vacation and put me on the schedule during my approved days off."
"When I brought this up they just told me approved days off are just a suggestion but not guaranteed days off."
~ Tee_hops
Good Customer Service
"I gave highway directions to a customer."
"They fired me for talking to my friends at work."
"I was a barista."
~ Cobra-Serpentress
Bereavement?
"Took a day off for my Grandpa's funeral which was out of town."
"Fired me when I came back the next day."
~ bublesboo
"My wife was fired for not coming to work after she found her father’s 2-day-old corpse in his apartment."
"She had to talk me down from some violent intentions towards her former employer."
~ isinhower
Has an employer ever done you dirty for an absurd reason?
Sound off in the comments.
People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody
Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.
But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.
Redditor bigdawgcat asked:
"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"
Food Allergies
"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."
"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."
- Horknut1
"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."
- Fixes_Computers
"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."
- cottagecheeseobesity
The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness
"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."
"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."
"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."
"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."
"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."
"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."
"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."
- Much_Progress_4745
Conspiracy Theory Investment
"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."
"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"
"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."
"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."
- Low-Sky-4812
Eating Noises
"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."
- just-say-it-
"Soup should be seen and not heard."
- Playful-Profession-2
Same Names, Same Problems
"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."
- SylphofBlood
"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."
"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"
"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."
- vejbok
Love for Animals
"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."
- StephenHawkings_Legs
"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."
- e11spark
"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."
- A-Yandere-Succubus
Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements
"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."
"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"
- Potential-Plastic-66
Matching Clothes
"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.
Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."
"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."
- SunflowerSeed33
Different Interests
"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."
"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."
- No-Hat-689
"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."
- dumpster_cherries
"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."
- one-eye-fox
Social Media Schemes
If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."
- UrinePulp
Weakness?
"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"
"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."
- Street-Comb1000
"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."
- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan
Finals Week Troubles
"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."
"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."
"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Atlas88-
Deal-breaking Voices
"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."
"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."
- Pickleliver
Dental Preferences
"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."
"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."
"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"
"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."
- Foxy_locksy1704
Preferred Facial Features
"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."
"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."
- newadventures96
"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."
- burritoboles
When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.