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Lawyers Reveal The Craziest (And Legal) Last Will And Testament Stories They've Dealt With

Lawyers Reveal The Craziest (And Legal) Last Will And Testament Stories They've Dealt With
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We see the "fulfilling the last will" trope in movies all the time. Someone's rich somebody dies, and they stumble into some fortune or another because of the last will. If screenwriters really want to shake things up, they add in some condition to the will, like having to spend a night in a haunted house or something. But honestly speaking, this stuff never happens in real life... right?


One Reddit user asked:

Lawyers of Reddit: What are the craziest (yet legal) last will and testament stories you had to deal with?


Look; we don't want to spoil your plans, but it looks like forcing your relatives to run a dangerous cross-country relay race to decide who gets to care for your beloved chiweenie after you're dead isn't legally enforceable. We know. We were bummed, too. Corndog deserves better than this. (If you have a Chiweenie and you didn't name it Corndog, you missed a golden opportunity, folks.)

Here are some of our favorite responses:

Chris Jericho

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Military lawyer here. Had a young client come in for a will before deployment. He put a request to be buried in blue jeans, a Chris Jericho t-shirt, and his replica WWE championship belt. Happily, this airman didn't meet any misfortune on his deployment.

- Kumahito

Bus Driver

I worked at an attorney office and little older lady gave her house and her belongings to a bus driver. The bus driver was nice to her and would help her, we were all waiting for hell to break loose when her family found out.

- mommy5dearest

Smartphone Precedent

Not a lawyer, but paralegal. We had a dying client in hospital change her Will by recording it on a smart phone. It set a precedent and made the local paper. The lawyer in question has the page from the newspaper framed in his office.

- PM_ME_PUPPA_PICS

The Great Stork Derby

The Great Stork Derby was when a wealthy Canadian left a substantial amount of money to whichever woman had the most children in the 10 years following his death. It was upheld through numerous court battles and 4 women tied with 9 children each. Two women were also given smaller payouts. One had 10 children (2 were stillborn), and another had more than 9 kids, but a few were illegitimate.

The guy also had some other interesting things in his will and was a known practical joker.

- splat313

The Tree

Where I went to college, there's an oak tree that was deeded to itself in a man's will. Now called The Tree That Owns Itself, it sits in the middle of a road and you have to go to one lane to drive around it. Story is that a man loved the tree so much as a kid, that around the time he died in the 1830's, he gave the tree possession of itself. This technically wouldn't stand up in a court of law, but the county and local populace has accepted it and takes care of it. The original tree actually died and the current one is a product of one of the acorns of the original!

- Schump_dawg

Cats

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I work for a lawyer who does wills.

We've had a lady put in her will that one of her adult sons was not to receive his share until he visited a dentist and the other son lost 70lbs.

Another lady put in her will that she wanted her cats cremated with her when she died. Euthanized to be buried with her. I was so pissed off. I told the lawyer that's absolute bullshit. And though she agreed she had to put in as instructed and hoped that living family members at the time of her death wouldn't uphold that part. Told her that's not going to happen, human remains and animal remains do not get cremated at once. So she settled on cremated separately and joined together, then buried together.

- ALighterShadeOfPale

This Family Was All Shook Up

One of my uncles was really rich and really crazy... not in the good way. We almost never saw him, he visited us maybe once every ten years. The last time he did, he flew in just to take us to Denny's. He met my brother in an airport, was there for an hour, ate, and got on another plane and went home.

When he died he had no friends. He had driven his wife to basically drink herself to death a few years prior, so she was gone too. He left his entire estate to an Elvis impersonator. Everything.

- whatshisfaceboy

Unwanted Divorce

I was a witness to one where the lady wanted to make sure her daughter divorced her husband (when she had no intentions of doing so) if she wanted her part of the estate. Thankfully that is not legally enforceable so nothing came from it.

- MediocreAnchovies

Rapture

Estate lawyer here. I once had true believers who were convinced the rapture was imminent and only saw the value of completing their estate plan when I explained the mess those of us left behind would have to deal with, including their stuff.

- GCND2X

Embezzlement and Bigamy in the Phillipines

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I mean, it's not that crazy. It's depressingly predictable. Rich old aunt the only one in her huge family with any money, having been a doctor on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. She set up a living trust to take care of her poor relations in the Philippines, to continue as a death trust whenever she died. Her favorite niece was in control of the trust, and of course the niece was responsible and even handed and never ever embezzled any of the money to set herself up as a newspaper publisher and concert producer and media mogul with new expensive cars and lots of first class pan Pacific travel, nope, not her.

Hahaha of course the trustee did all that. Hundreds of thousands of dollars missing, and an unholy mess of sifting through money transfers and property purchases in three countries. The niece also had a bigamous marriage to some loser in the Phillipines (her legal husband in north america was bedridden and dying slowly), to whom she sent buckets of her aunt's money to build a luxury villa. She vehemently denied such a relationship existed. She also had photos of the "wedding" on her Facebook page. Not the smartest embezzler out there.

From where I sat, in the attorney's office representing the poor relations trying to stop the trustee's embezzlement, the craziest part of it all was that after years of fighting, we finally got complete financial disclosure for the trust on like December 22, and it was such a Christmas miracle that I almost put off my Christmas trip to NYC to gleefully pour through every poorly redacted line of it. Also, we had the rich old aunt's ashes sitting on our bookshelf for years, since the dispute about what to do with her remains was part of it all.

- CountyKildare

One Third Of One Percent

The lawyer who did my & my husband's will told us this one.

This couple had 3 children whose jobs were doctor, lawyer, and teacher. They split their assets 33/33/34, in favor of the teacher who earned less money than the doctor and lawyer. The doctor and lawyer contested the will over .33% each.

This is why our lawyer recommended that we include a clause in our will to exclude anyone who contested our will.

- Sufganiya

Thanks, Internet! 

Lawyer here: two years ago a guy (70s, grandpa) came in to my old firm to revise his will to give something to everyone except this one granddaughter who was about 17-19. The reason? He saw her uhh.... sexy social media postings.

- butterfly105

It's Over Because Of Rover

I don't normally do wills in my practice, but when I passed the bar I had a friend who insisted that I do his will. He was trying to give me business, which is incredibly kind. He was a middle aged, single guy, so it was simple enough. When we sat down to do the paperwork, the first thing I asked him about was who he wanted to take his dog if he died before the dog.

He had never thought about it before, and he just could not handle the thought of leaving his dog. He made excuses and begged off for a long time before just abandoning writing his will. I completely understand, it's not like a fun thing to do.

- sykopoet

A Dollar And A Note

Not a lawyer, but had a fun story with my grandma's brother's will.

For the last 10 to 15 yrs he had been paying child support and sending money to this lady who he said was his girlfriend and the child "they had together".

For years his other children and my grandma had been trying to convince him that the girl was obviously not his.

The "girlfriend" would appear only on payday and stay the bare minimum. The girl called another guy dad and had his last name. The "girlfriend" insisted he was her friend, but the other children found out he lived with her and all. It was obvious to everyone, except to my great-uncle who we believe was just happy for a nice-looking lady to visit him.

He payed for their whole lives, house/school/vacations.

The day he died she was the first one at the door.

He left her and her kid $1 each, with a note saying he had given them their inheritance while alive.

- LuckyLucre

Nude Photos

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Disclaimer, this was a story told to me by an estates attorney.

Deceased's (father) son was a prior client of the attorney. Son did not really talk his father but wanted to make sure estate was wrapped up properly. They did not know if a will existed but knew dad had a safety deposit box.

Get a court order to open the box and sure enough a will was in there. The will though left a lions share of his estate (maybe a few thousand dollars) to a woman who no one knew. In with the will were also pictures of a nude woman and a stage name something like "cinnamon" or "candy," written on the back. They were able to put 2 and 2 together and realized that the father had left part of his estate to a stripper who he enjoyed visiting in his older age.

She had no idea and they had to track her down which was also a nightmare I'm told. Imagine teams of lawyers going to strip clubs trying to find this specific dancer. They finally found her and she came to the office for a check accompanied by a "male friend" (lawyer assumes he was a pimp). She ended up receiving, as I mentioned above, a few thousand but it always got me how the old guy left nude photos of her to help identify her.

- souslawyer54

The Horse

Not a lawyer, a financial adviser. A woman left about a million USD to her horse. My client is a horse. We manage his investments...the sister of the deceased pulls out about 3-4% annually to care for the beneficiary of the trust.

- ZachMartin

Irrevocable Trust

Not in the will, but my mother left her estate to me, and my four brothers, share and share alike. My oldest brother was physically, and mentally disabled. A few days before she died, she asked one of my other brothers to have all of us turn our shares over to my disabled brother.

Keep in mind; he was getting disability, lived in a nice group home, had all of his medical covered, and risked losing all of this if he had any substantial assets. Also, they asked that the money be put into an irrevocable trust. This means that if my brother passed, the money would go to the State of Pennsylvania.

My brother was in very poor health, and my Mother's wishes were never codified into her written will. We met for a breakfast meeting (me, and my three other brothers), and two of us agreed to the trust, two of us did not. I did not. I have an adult disabled daughter, and was much more fluent in the ins and out of providing for a disabled child. I didn't want to come across as greedy, or mean, but I knew what the irrevocable trust meant, and they didn't. There was no bad blood, and we all respected each other's decisions.

While my brother was in the process of setting up the trust, our disabled brother died of natural causes related to this disability. Two of us had chosen to not make an emotional decision in the wake of my mother's death. In the end, her wishes never came to fruition because of my brother's death - but if we had all agreed to these wishes, the State of Pennsylvania would have made out like a bandit.

- PopeJohnsonAgain

My 2 Cents

My brother used to be a paralegal, and he said that a group of three siblings (I believe two brothers and a sister) almost came to blows because the inheritance didn't divide into three evenly; there were two pennies left over.

- Gottscheace

Zoo Trip

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We had a man put in his will that his family was to go to the zoo immediately after his burial (that day). We thought that was more heart warming.

- ALighterShadeOfPale

The Revolver

My dad is a lawyer. He once wrote a will for a man who was in his late 80's and had end stage cancer. He was a big fan of weapons and wanted to give them to my dad. The old man said he wanted to give dad two shotguns, a Glock and a revolver. My dad totally wanted them, but rather than take them right away he recommended that they just be written in the will. My country's law says you can only own 5 weapons at a time, but if you inherit them, it doesn't add to the limit. My dad had already 4 at the time so he would have to give some up if the old man just gave him the guns.

So they made a testament and in the written will he gave him the weapons - except for the revolver. He said it was "because it was his favorite and didn't want to give it away yet." My dad said he instantly had a bad feeling that there was another reason the man wanted to keep it. Two weeks later the guy shot himself - with that revolver.

Dad still hasn't got the revolver because the police still have it in possession as evidence. Dad said he felt like this guy wanted the choice to end his life on his own terms instead if waiting for the cancer to win.

- SaschaCawa

The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient

Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'

surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

Keep reading...Show less
shallow focus of a woman's sad eyes
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

office full of desks and workers

Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.

Eventually they were found.

On the floor.

Under their desk.

Sleeping.

They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.

While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.

Keep reading...Show less

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.