Lawyers Explain Which Fictional Villain They'd Have The Easiest Time Defending In Court
Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

Villains in stories are usually the "bad guys," right?

Storytelling for the masses is made easier through the lens of "hero" and "villain." We need to know who to root for when they overcome the odds and who to cheer when they fail in their dastardly plans. However, what if those people we deem "villains" weren't actually villains? What if there was a lawyer good enough to present their case as a something less than evil?

Reddit user, u/AudibleNod, wanted to know about:

Lawyers of Reddit, which fictional villain would you have the easiest time defending?

Most Villains Are Goofy,  If We're Speaking Honestly

A sharp look at most villainous actions in television and film actually reveal someone who's not making evil choices. Rather, they appear to be a giant goofball doing goofball things which usually result in goofball consequences.

Is Targeting Two Kids On Their Summer Vacation Really That Bad?

Dr. Doofensmritz.

All of his inventions ultimately only end up stealing or damaging the creations of two kids, so he could probably be let out with a theft charge. Really, he's just a lonely, unloved man trying to be seen in the world. Good thing he has his therapy platypus.


We Are Number One!

Robbie Rotten.

I mean, his crimes mostly just... Aren't.


I Mean, He Did Kill All Those People With Exploding Fish...

The Joker.

Your honor, my client who is CLEARLY suffering from schizophrenic delusions and various other mental issues was punched in the face by a billionaire in a rubber gimp suit.

And worse...the Gotham City Police Commissioner ASKED him to do it.


Nothing Can Stop The Juggernaut Except Intense Litigation!

The Juggernaut. He's defending himself the ONLY tools he has against all these mutant monsters with weapons and super powers attacking him! His bare hands. Sometimes, mess around and find out. Not Guilty your Honor!


An Easier Case Than You Might Think

A villain's case might look a little challenging on the surface, but underneath are reasoning and motivations falling on the side of innocent.

"You're honor, yes, my client might have pointed a satellite laser beam at the good people of Metro City, but have we ever asked the reason why he may have allegedly done that?"

So Brilliant, So Rich, Yet So Mad

Def Lex Luthor..... 99% of the time uses henchman who won't talk and he can def pay my exorbitant bills.


To be fair, Lex Luthor is also right. Supes is a danger to the planet. He is a walking nuke and he invites disaster by summoning other walking other walking nukes.


His Last Name Is "Doom" For Crying Out Loud!

Does Dr. Doom need legal defense? As the ruler of his own country, does diplomatic immunity cover all of his actions?


Pretty much, that's how he keeps getting away with things in the comics. He's the legal sovereign leader of a respected modern country, so can't be arrested for fear of provoking a war.

They did try a few times replacing him with someone who has a better legal right to the country, but they always turn out to crazy tyrants (as opposed to Doom who is generally an at least a reasonable dictator) so usually he either wins it back.


But, Magic?

Lawyer here.

Light from Death Note. The guy likes to write names of dead people in a notebook, so what? Morbid hobby but not illegal.

I don't think it's possible to establish a cause-effect nexus between writing a name and people dying. And saying "well, it's magic" will not hold in court.


Bad Parents, Your Honor!

Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Not only is she a child, there's also a case for her being the victim of abandonment, child neglect, emotional abuse, etc. She's also a child soldier, so there's that. Not that I would ever expect her to throw Ozai under the bus, but seriously. She's a 14 year old who suffered a mental breakdown. She also never actually killed anyone.


Look At The Space Evidence, Your Honor.

Kruge from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

1. He witnessed the Federation test detonate a doomsday device that turned a nebula into a star system and can one shot wipe out an entire planet.

2. He destroyed that information seller's ship to protect the information.

3. He did not order the destruction of the USS Grissom, and executed the gunner for destroying that ship.

4. Kirk was in violation by being at Genesis

5. Kirk stole the Enterprise to reach Genesis and fired upon the Klingon vessel.

6. Kruge did not kill Kirk's son, just gave the order for someone to kill a member of the three on the planet. Kirk's son, however, did attack the Klingons and was killed for his troubles.


Turns Out Some Villains Are Actually In The Right

Just because you're the "hero" in the eyes of the audience, doesn't mean you're actually a good person. Take these people's stories as an example.

Well, If We're Being Honest, Yeah, Sure, We Guess...

The villains in the Purge movie. Crime is literally legal during that night.


First She Loses A Loved One, Then Death?

The Wicked Witch of the West.

She was angry at Dorothy, but then again Dorothy dropped a house on her sister and then grave-robbed the Witch's sister's body (with Glinda's help). The shoes were rightfully the Witch's anyway, presuming she was her sister's only heir and her sister died intestate. All the Witch wanted was for Dorothy to apologize and return the slippers she stole. Everything else that happened was the result of the Witch's reasonable attempts to defend herself and her property against Dorothy's killing, theft, and trespass.


The Beast WAS Kidnapping People, If We're Being Honest

Define "easiest time" defending. If you define it as "I think they have an easy case to win" then probably Gaston since hunting a beast that is a threat to members of your town isn't a crime (remember Beast did lock up Belle's dad and there's no reason to believe that Beast couldn't go evil again during the inevitable divorce).

If you mean "the one I'm going to most enjoy defending" then pick the richest one. It's a criminal client. Write me a check and don't call me every ten damn minutes from the jail and I'm a happy camper.


It Is Just A Huge Cave Of Gold, After All


He had to have earned squatter's rights be considered an adverse possessor of the property after all that time. And the House of Durin did abandon the property. I think he had a right to defend his home.


While none of these will ever go to trial, it's still a fun thought experiment to imagine The Joker or Smaug the dragon sitting in the seats, in front of their peers, trying to appear innocent.

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