Disney and Pixar villains wreak havoc on our favorite protagonists and justice ends up being served by severe punishment–ultimately resulting in their demise.
But in the land of not make-believe–where real-life people are litigious without hesitation–what would happen if these evildoers had a proper day in court?
That is something Redditor Lukegamer2 explored by asking strangers online:
"Lawyers of Reddit, what Disney or Pixar villain would you have the easiest time defending?"
Were these villains guilty of just being unpopular?
Ratatouille's Hot-Tempered Sous Chef
"I'd almost feel guilty charging money defending this case."
Secondary Pirates Antagonist
"I think Cutler Beckett never technically broke the law since he had the governor writing loopholes for him when hunting down the pirates in Pirates 2 and 3 so Cutler Beckett. I wouldn't even need to do anything."
– User Deleted
"Sid. No one is going to charge a kid destroying toys with a crime."
"Sid was genuinely horrified to learn that toys were alive. The boy legitimately did nothing wrong."
Placement On The Food Chain
"Kaa, Finding Nemo's barracuda, the Lion King's Hyenas, and similar 'villains.' They're just trying to eat. Sorry nature put the protagonist on the menu."
These characters were definitely wicked, but would the judge grant leniency for their indiscretions?
The Master Of Deceit
"Jafar. Separate from the law of Agrabah being super interesting to learn about, his actions tend to be more deceitful than outright illegal, except where he became sultan, and therefore may have had immunity. Magic seems to be not super common, so there may not be any laws regarding coercion by magic. Separate from assaulting Aladdin, who he never actually managed to hit outside the Cave of Wonders, I’m not sure there are a lot of outright laws he broke."
The Super Jealous Uncle
"Scar, the only evidence was a coerced confession while a deadly weapon was held to his throat."
The Case For Gaston
"In Beauty and the Beast, Gaston ate four dozen eggs daily when he was a child. That’s fourty-eight eggs a day. As an adult he adds another dozen, tallying up to sixty eggs a day. This is nothing short of genocide."
"My theory for why Gaston is beloved by the townsfolk is that some time prior to the start of the movie, France was overrun with poultry. Helpless at the claws of the chickens, the people of France were preparing to abandon their country, when a lone child stepped forward. 'I’ll eat the eggs,' a young Gaston bellowed, 'And I will save our homeland.' And so it was, Gaston ate and ate until he was roughly the size of a barge. How the cholesterol didn’t kill him can only be attributed to his inhuman fortitude. This is where the story turns tragic."
"What Gaston hadn’t accounted for was developing an addiction to the eggs. As he aged, he ate more and more, and with the chicken-crisis over, his addiction began costing him financially. There’s a scene during Gaston’s song where he motions to a wall full of his hunting trophies. But why are they there? Does he own the bar? No, he sold them for egg money. The fact he never brings up his egg addiction or his prior heroism can be attributed to another one of Gaston’s defining character traits: his struggle to be emotionally open, and his modesty. It’s not easy being the man who saved France."
"I think the saddest scene is when Belle shows Gaston the book, and he holds it upside down. See, Gaston seems brutish, but remember - his entire childhood was spent eating eggs. He didn’t have time for an education; he sacrificed his upbringing for his countrymen. He can’t even hold a book correctly. What Gaston wants to say, what he’s struggling to articulate, is 'Belle, I’m dying. A life long diet of a quite frankly insane number of eggs has left my body bloated with tumors. Before I shove off this mortal coil, I want children, who might experience a world without the oppression I have suffered.' Belle cruelly mocks him, which goes to make you wonder who the real beast is."
"When Gaston sees the Beast in the mirror, two thoughts run through his head. First, he sees his countrymen in danger once more, and despite being riddled with egg-tumors, wants to lead the masses to one last charge of glory since fighting for France is all he knows. Second, he realizes Beast’s head is about a month’s worth of egg-money. So he sieges the castle, and in one of Disney’s most tragic moments, plummets to his death."
"Another reason Gaston wants to marry Belle is because, as mentioned above, all he knows how to do is to fight for France and its people. Gaston saw Maurice as a genuine danger, and he’s not wrong; consider the hellish contraption Maurice created. One look at that war machine and Gaston hatched a plan; marry Belle, and get close enough to Maurice to talk him down. Mind you, he did love Belle, and wanted to be the father of her children, but the danger presented by Maurice forced his plan into action immediately. When that fell through, he had no choice but to throw Maurice in the asylum (something marrying Belle would have fixed, since he would once again be close enough to Maurice to influence him). All in all, the failure was one of articulation."
"Gaston is the protagonist of Beauty and the Beast."
It's all about the accomplices here.
Reduced Sentence For Mr. Snoops
"Mr Snoops, from The Rescuers. Definitely guilty of being an accomplice to the kidnapping of a child, but I could get a reduced sentence based on the fact he wanted to end the scheme earlier and cut their losses on other precious gems that Penny had recovered. He also looked out for Penny's safety and prevented her from dying before Medusa came to the scene to force her to recover the Devil's Eye on pain of death."
"Yzma if only because that means Kronk would have to testify under oath. And you know he would be a blast to watch in court."
Time For The Hunt
"What about Clayton from Tarzan? I think at the time it wasn't illegal to catch wild animals in foreign (colonialized) countries. Morally reprehensive, but not illegal."
"Similarly, the hunter from Bambi. Assuming it was deer season, he did nothing illegal."
Can't Touch Him
"Hades Dudes a god what's a.judge gonna a do."
It Does Beg The Question
"Do human laws punish non-humans?"
The Answer Is...
"There's actually a couple famous stories of animals - mostly elephants - being put on trial for murdering their abusive handlers. There's also how old laws considered the act of bestiality, with the animal being considered a 'Guilty Party' and executed alongside the human who committed the act. I also think there's a case where a human was exonerated for the crime because he was raped by a bear (he didn't survive, BTW).""Also, this has come up in at least one episode of Murder, She Wrote where a dog was going to be put down and disinherited for killing his master after being made the heir to his will, when it appeared the dog had intentionally closed the remote-controlled gates to the estate and killed his owner."
We don't know how lawyers would actually approach the case if they represented these characters.
But one thing is certain. It would make for a great spin-off of Law & Order–Fairytale Crimes.
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Self-awareness is a strong and admirable quality which far too few people have.
Particularly as those who are truly self-aware are often willing and able to admit when they're wrong, or if there is something about their personality which could, and probably should, be changed.
Truth be told, it doesn't take a great deal of self-awareness to realize and acknowledge your less than admirable traits.
More than likely, these are the things about ourselves that we've likely hoped we might change for a very long time.
Redditor sound-hub was eager to hear people share their least admirable qualities, leading them to ask:
"What's one bad trait about you?"
Give people some closure!
"I never finish the things that I"- BadAndNationwide
I just can't stop
"Having an addictive personality."
"If there's an activity or substance that triggers dopamine release, I'll probably take it to an extreme."- DeathSpiral321
I don't want to get out of bed..
"My laziness will be the death of me."- A_R_K_SKevin James Eating GIF by TV LandGiphy
I can't, I'll never be able to...
"Pessimism and lack of confidence."- Iamnothuman77
"I lack confidence."
"I constantly try to get reassurance or double checks on my decisions before making them."
"It has helped me to avoid making certain mistakes but I feel like if I was more confident in myself, I'd be better off."- HumbleOwl
I don't need the help, so stop asking!
"I’m too prideful."
"I don’t ask for help when I need it and make myself miserable powering through a sh*tty task or situation."
"It’s a problem."
"I’m trying to break myself of it."- like5or6
"I got no patience.. non.. nada."- shine_hunterWaiting Patiently GIF by General HospitalGiphy
Do you think they'll like it? Oh I hope they do...
"I’m too much of a people pleaser."- Positive-Help6449
I'd rather not say...
"I don’t talk."- TheCowOfArdonia
"I use sarcasm too often."- The_StankyBootMaggie Smith Sarcasm GIF by Downton AbbeyGiphy
It's brave to admit the things about yourself that could be improved.
But it's important that this is how you feel, and not how others perceive you.
Only then should you even begin to think about changing any part of yourself.
It's hard not to look back in life on some things we wish we handled them differently.
Some of these are relatively minor, like wishing we chose a different hotel on a vacation, or being a bit more friendly to certain people in middle school.
But sometimes, we look back on decisions we made, and wonder if our lives might be different had we not made certain decisions, or behaved in a certain way.
Redditor lillyrosebennet was curious to hear what the Reddit community regrets most in their lives, leading them to ask:
"What do you regret?"
Who care's what other people think?
"Putting my self worth into the hands of others."- scaryboilednoodles
Oh, what could have been...
"Not realizing this beautiful girl in high school was flirting with me."- South_Ad8256
Take your life and education seriously
"Not going to class nearly enough my freshman year of college."
"I dug myself a HUGE hole because I thought it was a better idea to drink on weeknights, play Starcraft, and hang out bullsh*tting in people's dorm rooms until 4am than actually attend lectures and do work."- DaisyCutter312
"Not taking my life seriously at a younger age."- ogue-Jedi
Learning more about others
"Not talking more to my grandma about her life."
"She's passed not long ago and even though I was there at least once a month in the last year, which is not so little regarding the distance, I just wish I had asked more about how she was like, when she was my age."
"She wrote a memoir and she has lots of diaries, but I think she started writing them later on."
"I was just so scared of making her relive her trauma."
"But I really miss her and I wish we could've had more time to talk."- MyCatIsUpsiideDown
There's a reason it didn't work
Going back to exes that treat me poorly just because it’s comfortable."
"It’s not my job to fix people or save morons from their own stupidity."
"It’s like I always think I can fix it when it’s clear they’re just toxic and incapable of healthy relationships."
"Then I feel even worse when it falls apart the second time."- SupportMoist
It's not so difficult to listen
"Not communicating enough in my relationship."
"My overthinking ruined it some more."- Ok_Moose235
Caring for my body
"Smoking cigarettes."- rowfeh
Missing the chance to make things right.
"The last words I said to my dad when I was 9, was 'I hate you'."
"It was over a stupid little misunderstanding."
"He passed away the next morning, and I will never forgive myself for that."- DismalSplit5792
Finding more lucrative employment.
"Getting a degree in a 'helping field' (therapy/social work) rather than getting one that pays well and helping others from that comfortable position."
"It's very difficult providing assistance and guidance for others when you can't afford to go to the doctor, the dentist, or even your own therapist, let alone ever afford a vacation or anything meaningful."- HiCommaJoel
It's hard not to have those "coulda, woulda, shoulda" moments in life.
But even if some things can't be changed or undone, it's important to remember that improving one's life can't be done looking back.
Instead, we have to learn from our past mistakes, to make wiser decisions moving forward.
Life can be a very dark place.
And the loneliness is often overwhelming.
It can be very difficult to reach out for help.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
If we pay attention to our own red flags we can make great progress sooner.
Redditor Specktakles88 wanted to share how we need to be aware of depression.They asked:
"What are some overlooked signs of depression?"
I suffer from depression on the daily. You're not alone.
"Being addicted to a distraction, because not being distracted is painful. Just leaving the room to go get water or do a chore is pain, because it takes you away from your distraction."
"That's me. It literally hurt to face my thoughts head on, so I always kept myself distracted in one way or another. I had to learn how to go to sleep while listening to stuff so that I didn't even have the time to think about things I didn't want to."
"Unfortunately that led to me awakening from my sleep in the middle of the night because I started facing these thoughts while dreaming and having a panic attack."
"Forgetting a lot. Your mind just becomes pre-occupied with depressing thoughts, or might even be empty. You don't have space to remember the things people tell you anymore."
"This, I'm missing big chunks of memories from my long depressive episodes. Some gaps are huge, I dated someone for 6 months in the midst of one and can't even remember his name. I was on the wrong medication too, it all felt like a dream. Very important to find the right medication and write important stuff down."
"Tiredness (often perceived as laziness) Struggling to make decisions Rushing into relationships Impulsive behaviour, spending eating etc."
"That rushing into relationships one really hit home. To me, a relationship could be an escape from the pit I feel myself in every day. But I rush into them so quickly that I loose my footing and fall right back in."
"Apathy. Numbness. Straight up not caring about sh*t. I've been told I come off as a very cold person when really I just feel numb and indifferent to everything/everyone sometimes. Or not caring about things that should be affecting me in some way."
"The numbness. I never hear people talk about this. When I was at a very low with depression, I was totally numb. People say being depressed can make you cry a lot, but I couldn’t cry at all. I desperately wanted to feel something, anything."
"Anger and/or irritability."
"This was my #1 symptom. The littlest thing (usually work related) would make me SO angry/irritated. Too bad it was 2yrs later before I learned that it could be a sign. Once I found out though - straight to the DR where I was set up with meds and a therapist."
"This is huge, and a lot of the time people will simply write you off as, 'just another a** hole.' I'm not a *ick, it's a disability."
So many simple signs.
"Not engaging in conversations. That's about it."
"This one hits. I’m constantly just not wanting to be involved in conversations even with my wife. She is my favorite in the world and I know it bothers her when I’m barely engaged."
"I stopped engaging in conversation because all of a sudden everyone started ignoring me and constantly interrupting me. I can’t talk when no one listens."
"Living in your bedroom."
"This is the one. Cannot believe this isn’t higher. To follow this with a sub-point: Living in your room and being really messy. Living in filth, dirt, old dishes, discarded food wrappers and dirty clothing is terrible for your state of mind."
"Overcompensation when it comes to jokes. Funny people who are depressed lose their sense of humor but try to force humor because it’s a part of their healthy personality. It often comes off as abrasive and forced which results in further isolation."
"OMG, I swear I used to be lightning quick with my quips and I was a naturally a joker. Now I feel like my jokes never come to me and I no longer talk to anyone because I feel dried up and useless. When I finally do talk, I still try to crack a joke but its very flat and I give up."
"Disinterest in almost everything. Making excuses for not doing things you normally like to do. Even if money is no issue ie going out to eat or going to see a movie, having absolutely no interest in doing anything or going anywhere."
Flags and Signs
"I’m seeing a lot of signs that I wanted to say but one I haven’t seen yet is being very indecisive about things. One may become very indecisive about the simples of things like what they want to do or even eat. This happens for various of reasons but from personal experience, it’s because one simply lacks enough care or have desire for anything at their lows."
"YES! I've had gut issues for like 20 years, many doctors visits found nothing. Once I found a SSRI that worked for me it also completely eliminated all of my gut issues instantly, was not expecting that!"
If any of this resonates with you please reach out for help.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
If you dealt with network or system management, you're familiar with admin privileges.
If not, well basically it means you can change or delete anything in that system.
Sort of God-like powers really...
Redditor ValenFrost wanted to know:
"What would you do if God gave you admin privilege on Earth?"
"Honestly this wouldn't be too bad, of course there'd be a lot of car accidents but after a year or two people wouldn't be able to notice much happened most likely."
"Imagine wanting to lift your right arm up and end up pulling your left arm to the ground. could you really get used to it?"
"[Start New Game]"
"Message pops up [Are you sure you want to boot EARTH.V5794615.exe?]"
Dentistry Is Finished
"Make people have teeth like the crocs. When a tooth is injured a new one always pops out."
"Motherf'kers that paid to get their wisdom teeth pulled about to be mad as f'k."
Give a toot, don't pollute.
"Anyone who knowingly litters, sh*ts themselves."
Empty recycle bin, too.
"Start deleting all the corrupt human files."
"I'd switch the taste of sugar and salt, then lay back and watch the reign of chaos."
"Why? Just make mosquitoes suck fat instead of blood."
"Great, now we have to deal with morbidly obese mosquitoes now."
"We won't have to deal with them very long if it's morbid 🤷"
Green New Deal
"I would take the forest grow tool and regrow all the missing forests that some of the NPCs cut down. The system should use the available carbon to satisfy this thus fixing the overabundance of CO2 in the atmosphere."
"Also, salt marshes! They capture 25-50 times as much carbon for their size as some forest types."
"They're on the list. It all depends on how long I have admin privileges for."
"I also got to fix the coral reefs they're major carbon sinks."
"Set everyone's greed level to 0."
"Empathy to 10."
"Just remove the drive to horde wealth. Nothing wrong with wanting a better life for yourself or your family. It's the impulse to enrich yourself at others' expense that's the problem."
Live Long and Snuggle
"Increase the lifespan of dogs and have them stay healthy for much longer."
"Ever since Harambe died literally nothing ever got better."
People certainly had a lot of diverse ideas.
So, what would you do?