
Disney and Pixar villains wreak havoc on our favorite protagonists and justice ends up being served by severe punishment–ultimately resulting in their demise.
But in the land of not make-believe–where real-life people are litigious without hesitation–what would happen if these evildoers had a proper day in court?
That is something Redditor Lukegamer2 explored by asking strangers online:
"Lawyers of Reddit, what Disney or Pixar villain would you have the easiest time defending?"

Were these villains guilty of just being unpopular?
Ratatouille's Hot-Tempered Sous Chef
"Chef Skinner."
"I'd almost feel guilty charging money defending this case."
– ksozay
Secondary Pirates Antagonist
"I think Cutler Beckett never technically broke the law since he had the governor writing loopholes for him when hunting down the pirates in Pirates 2 and 3 so Cutler Beckett. I wouldn't even need to do anything."
– User Deleted
Brat Story
"Sid. No one is going to charge a kid destroying toys with a crime."
– theassassintherapist
"Sid was genuinely horrified to learn that toys were alive. The boy legitimately did nothing wrong."
– Slant_Juicy
Placement On The Food Chain
"Kaa, Finding Nemo's barracuda, the Lion King's Hyenas, and similar 'villains.' They're just trying to eat. Sorry nature put the protagonist on the menu."
– ccReptilelord
These characters were definitely wicked, but would the judge grant leniency for their indiscretions?
The Master Of Deceit
"Jafar. Separate from the law of Agrabah being super interesting to learn about, his actions tend to be more deceitful than outright illegal, except where he became sultan, and therefore may have had immunity. Magic seems to be not super common, so there may not be any laws regarding coercion by magic. Separate from assaulting Aladdin, who he never actually managed to hit outside the Cave of Wonders, I’m not sure there are a lot of outright laws he broke."
– begoniann
The Super Jealous Uncle
"Scar, the only evidence was a coerced confession while a deadly weapon was held to his throat."
– Anonymous4mysake
The Case For Gaston
"In Beauty and the Beast, Gaston ate four dozen eggs daily when he was a child. That’s fourty-eight eggs a day. As an adult he adds another dozen, tallying up to sixty eggs a day. This is nothing short of genocide."
"My theory for why Gaston is beloved by the townsfolk is that some time prior to the start of the movie, France was overrun with poultry. Helpless at the claws of the chickens, the people of France were preparing to abandon their country, when a lone child stepped forward. 'I’ll eat the eggs,' a young Gaston bellowed, 'And I will save our homeland.' And so it was, Gaston ate and ate until he was roughly the size of a barge. How the cholesterol didn’t kill him can only be attributed to his inhuman fortitude. This is where the story turns tragic."
"What Gaston hadn’t accounted for was developing an addiction to the eggs. As he aged, he ate more and more, and with the chicken-crisis over, his addiction began costing him financially. There’s a scene during Gaston’s song where he motions to a wall full of his hunting trophies. But why are they there? Does he own the bar? No, he sold them for egg money. The fact he never brings up his egg addiction or his prior heroism can be attributed to another one of Gaston’s defining character traits: his struggle to be emotionally open, and his modesty. It’s not easy being the man who saved France."
"I think the saddest scene is when Belle shows Gaston the book, and he holds it upside down. See, Gaston seems brutish, but remember - his entire childhood was spent eating eggs. He didn’t have time for an education; he sacrificed his upbringing for his countrymen. He can’t even hold a book correctly. What Gaston wants to say, what he’s struggling to articulate, is 'Belle, I’m dying. A life long diet of a quite frankly insane number of eggs has left my body bloated with tumors. Before I shove off this mortal coil, I want children, who might experience a world without the oppression I have suffered.' Belle cruelly mocks him, which goes to make you wonder who the real beast is."
"When Gaston sees the Beast in the mirror, two thoughts run through his head. First, he sees his countrymen in danger once more, and despite being riddled with egg-tumors, wants to lead the masses to one last charge of glory since fighting for France is all he knows. Second, he realizes Beast’s head is about a month’s worth of egg-money. So he sieges the castle, and in one of Disney’s most tragic moments, plummets to his death."
"Another reason Gaston wants to marry Belle is because, as mentioned above, all he knows how to do is to fight for France and its people. Gaston saw Maurice as a genuine danger, and he’s not wrong; consider the hellish contraption Maurice created. One look at that war machine and Gaston hatched a plan; marry Belle, and get close enough to Maurice to talk him down. Mind you, he did love Belle, and wanted to be the father of her children, but the danger presented by Maurice forced his plan into action immediately. When that fell through, he had no choice but to throw Maurice in the asylum (something marrying Belle would have fixed, since he would once again be close enough to Maurice to influence him). All in all, the failure was one of articulation."
"Gaston is the protagonist of Beauty and the Beast."
– The_Gutgrinder
It's all about the accomplices here.
Reduced Sentence For Mr. Snoops
"Mr Snoops, from The Rescuers. Definitely guilty of being an accomplice to the kidnapping of a child, but I could get a reduced sentence based on the fact he wanted to end the scheme earlier and cut their losses on other precious gems that Penny had recovered. He also looked out for Penny's safety and prevented her from dying before Medusa came to the scene to force her to recover the Devil's Eye on pain of death."
– res30stupid
Court Comedy
"Yzma if only because that means Kronk would have to testify under oath. And you know he would be a blast to watch in court."
– inksmudgedhands
Time For The Hunt
"What about Clayton from Tarzan? I think at the time it wasn't illegal to catch wild animals in foreign (colonialized) countries. Morally reprehensive, but not illegal."
– raxeira-etterath
Oh, Deer
"Similarly, the hunter from Bambi. Assuming it was deer season, he did nothing illegal."
– Rhania506
Can't Touch Him
"Hades Dudes a god what's a.judge gonna a do."
– Sea_Mechanic5745
It Does Beg The Question
"Do human laws punish non-humans?"
– Pharah_is_my_waIfu
The Answer Is...
"Yes."
"There's actually a couple famous stories of animals - mostly elephants - being put on trial for murdering their abusive handlers. There's also how old laws considered the act of bestiality, with the animal being considered a 'Guilty Party' and executed alongside the human who committed the act. I also think there's a case where a human was exonerated for the crime because he was raped by a bear (he didn't survive, BTW)."
"Also, this has come up in at least one episode of Murder, She Wrote where a dog was going to be put down and disinherited for killing his master after being made the heir to his will, when it appeared the dog had intentionally closed the remote-controlled gates to the estate and killed his owner."– res30stupid
We don't know how lawyers would actually approach the case if they represented these characters.
But one thing is certain. It would make for a great spin-off of Law & Order–Fairytale Crimes.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The first time we all have sex is such a nerve wracking experience.
Everybody wants to be good. No... GREAT!
That probability is highly unlikely though.
There is so much to learn and navigate when it comes to sex.
RedditorBobirrrwanted to talk about the birds and the bees and all the information that surprised us. They asked:
"What did you not know about sex until you lost your virginity?"
Keep Trying
"Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you’ll become good at it without a remarkable amount of trial and error."
gotogarrett
"More than trial and error, you gotta ask your partner how it was, what they liked and didn’t like and what they want to try. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner makes it so much better."
Odd-Butterscotch-495
"Agreed. An ex friend of mine boasted that he was great in bed because his body count was over 50. Bro, if your body count is that high at that age, it means no one’s coming back for more."
Fabulous_Parking66
Wait
"When you have that mindset you won’t ever get the chance. It’s not that big of a deal and not something you need to put that much pressure on that you’re fretting about it like this. It’ll come, just be you and don’t sweat about it. I was 21 when I lost my virginity and all my friends were 15-18 when they lost theirs. I don’t regret when it happened and I don’t feel like I was late or missing out, it just happened when it happened."
chivesr
Together
"That two bellies rubbed together at just the right angle can make a loud fart noise. Funny tho when it does happen for the first time."
Equivalent_Squash
I hate that noise. Gross. It's confusing.
Style
"How you pleasure yourself can be a huuuge influence on your sex life."
User Deleted
It'a All New
"Instead of just after virginity, after years of having sex and looking back at my first time where my partner was much more experienced than me, I’ve realised that pretty much all sex with a new person, virginity or not, feels new. I was really hung up on being good at it when I should’ve treated it as a learning experience for the next time."
joleph
Too Much Porn
"That foreplay is SUPER important. You don't see it too much in a lot of porn so until you get into the bedroom you don't really consider the prep. Often times you just see people going at it which is great and all but everything is much better when both parties are warmed up."
FederalTiddyApraiser
It makes sense...
"That I was allergic to latex."
ideletedmyusername21
"Same. Friends would talk about having sex multiple times a day, and I was over here wondering WHY they would ever put themselves through that. It took days to recover. Someone finally mentioned a latex allergy, and it all made sense."
OnceAStudent__
"Omg this. Except my allergy was fairly mild. It meant peeling skin a couple days later. Literally took me years to find out why that was."
Ulfran
Noises Off
"The large amount of sounds that can be produced by the human body."
SnooWoofers455
Take note friends. Nobody is perfect out of the gate. Take you time. Do it right.
America is in quite a state right now.
We are hurting in ways we've never hurt before.
And getting better doesn't seem like an option on the horizon.
America gets a lot wrong everyday.
But, maybe let's try to focus on what America does right.
Maybe it can be a little comfort in times of struggle.
People from all over the world want to live here.
Why?
Redditor Ulrich-Stern wanted to discuss the best of America. They asked:
"What does the United States get right?"
I think America certainly has a strong work ethic. We know how to work and win.
Getting Around
"Accessibility code for buildings. I come from a country where disability is looked upon like a crime or fault. USA does an amazing job making things accessible. I haven’t seen all of USA but majority of the places has amazing system."
snreddit87
The Backbone
"Our public libraries are a real backbone for the country."
"Andrew Carnegie's groundwork in building the institution of free libraries, even in small towns, set a precedent that we wouldn't fathom today but couldn't live without. They often serve not only as an information exchange but as cultural hub, art gallery, performing arts center, tax aid, voter registration, job resources, etc. in communities."
"Plus they're one of the only places you can just exist for hours indoors without the expectation you must buy something.And I feel like they've adapted to the ever-changing needs of their patrons in modern times faster in the US than most places."
"'A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert.' -Andrew Carnegie"
fadedVHS
'restore' or 'create'
"Valuing actual wilderness in places like national parks. Here in England, they will 'restore' or 'create' natural habitats, which is sort-of nice, but they are almost like zoos. They are too small to survive by themselves so they are actively maintained."
"And in some English national parks, they actually allow housing developments as long as the architectural design is sympathetic. Here, 'countryside"'means farms. There is still a notion in the USA of protecting some large wilderness areas from development."
anon5005
Nicotine Fiends
"The rate of smoking cigarettes. We do very little well in the US when it comes to overall health, but we are light years better than most places when it comes to the prevalence of cigarette smoking. Hardcore anti smoking adds + laws of inconvenience + social stigma really did work."
pasta_sauce87
Hollywood
"Films. Don't get me wrong, the US can put out some bad films, but the best ones I've seen are usually American."
ConcreteGardoki
We do do films well. That is a big plus.
Family
"The United States adopts more children than the rest of the world combined."
noodles43r
The Menu
"Burgers. Motherfreakin' burgers."
ProfessorRoyHinkley
"I'd expand that to sandwiches in general. Burgers, Philly cheese steaks, Reubens, subs, clubs, chopped cheese, po'boys, just this whole sandwich spectrum. Americans just took sandwich concepts from across the globe and ran with them."
gurnard
Natural Beauty
"I've always envied your wildlife. I'm from England and the only large wild animals (other than fish) we have are deer, boar and foxes. And they're incredibly rare. I've always thought it was so cool one country could have bears, moose, cougars, alligators, panthers, bison/buffalo, etc."
gateman33
Quickies
"Gas stations like QuikTrip, where they have clean bathrooms, lighted parking lots, free air for your tires, ten different coffees on tap, beer, hotdogs, any soft drink or snack you want, the list goes on. In other countries -- you're not gonna believe this -- their gas stations only sell... gas."
Blort_McFluffuhgus
POWER
"The US is an absolute science powerhouse. The technology we come out with has touched the lives of nearly every person on the planet."
AmericanHoneycrisp
Welcome
"I say this as an immigrant who came to this country, so perhaps take it with a grain of salt. But it truly gives people a second chance at life. My life would be nowhere near as good as it is right now if I were back in my home country."
Porongas1993
Maybe America isn't the hot mess a lot of people think it is. We'll see...
Sex is an important part of life.
That is just a fact.
But sex is also about connection and intimacy.
So it's not a surprise when many relationships take a hit after the sex dries up.
It's not something to ignore.
It's the biggest problem in the world, but partners should discuss it.
RedditorItsyBitsyJoxywanted to hear about reasons to stick around with a partner when there is no sexy time. They asked:
"Would you be in a sexless relationship? What circumstance would you find acceptable for this?"
Sex is fun. And when the sex stopped in my relationships... so did the fun. But that is just me.
A Certain Era
"I'm over 80."
Head-like-a-carp
"There’s a lot of people that are going to be real shocked once they hit their 70s."
KarateKid72
Ruin
"Our second child has ruined her sex drive. Intimacy is still there but extremely infrequently. I've learned how much that intimacy brings to the relationship, it feels very lonely and although I know it's not her fault, it can still make you feel like she's not attracted to me anymore. It can be pretty lonely too if you go from a romantic relationship to borderline platonic one. You can't help wonder how much is body changes and how much is you."
W0otang
Let's Hug
"I had rectal cancer and because of the surgery I can no longer get an erection, it's very lonely."
rickroll62
"Not sure if one exists, but a site to just make friends to be cuddle buddies, or whatever, should exist for people like you & me. I lost my sex drive & would like a relationship for that occasionally."
"In my case, it's not wanting to see someone very often, as well as the lack of sex drive, that I think would make it difficult. I also don't like people over to my home as it's too small for a couch & we'd be hanging out on my bed, which is weird to me."
lefthandbunny
Problems
"I'm in one now. My husband had a stroke... no sex is not the big problem for either one of us."
Altaira99
"This comment brings a lot of perspective. My gut reaction to this question was no. Sex was and still is pretty significant in my relationship with my wife. We’re in our 30’s and have been together over a decade. But if something happened to her and it was no longer an option? I would never leave her and love her too damned much to imagine it, no matter how much we love sex."
Spectre627
Pain
"I have a near sexless marriage. The love is strong, but the desire is one-sided. That hurts."
ztirffritz
Sexless over loveless is definitely easier. So there is that.
Over time...
"I am happily married to my good lady for decades and decades. There are times when it has been sexless for whatever reason but never has it been loveless.I wouldn’t have lasted 2 days in a loveless relationship."
Regthedog2021
You play the cards you are dealt
"I’m dating a man who got diagnosed with prostate cancer a year or so into our relationship. Prostate had to come out and it’s a hit or miss whether or not sexual function comes back. In his case, it was a miss. He wanted me to move on because he got very depressed over it."
"He’s so pleasant and a real decent human being so I stayed with him. Who would abandon someone due to a health crisis? Unfortunately he got bladder cancer next so this is another hurdle to go over. You play the cards you are dealt. We are together in this."
KitchenWitch021
Key Factors
"The reasons for the 'sexlessness' and the depth of the relationship are key factors. My wife got breast cancer at 40 and while she lived another 8 years, the chemotherapy nullified her libido and made intercourse impossible. And yet I dearly wish we could have grown old together whether or not this would have changed. But that’s completely different from cohabiting a loveless marriage or even facing such a situation in one’s youth only a few years after marriage. That would be hard."
eric_nathanson
Options
"A sexless relationship is better than a loveless relationship, as long as I'm loved and we share physical affection like cuddling and kisses and I'm allowed to beat my meat when I need too I wouldn't care. Just a heads up to all the people who take this personally enough to comment how wrong I am."
"There's no such thing as a wrong option, my opinion is in regards to myself and myself alone I'm not answering for anyone else. Different opinions aren't wrong... OP asked a question to be answered from your own point of view..so there's no reason to call anyone else wrong... it's about you, answer for YOU I've answered for me."
TheSims4Dude
Love is there...
"I'm in one. Not happy about it, but love is still there so that's nice."
Strythe_Horde
"Same. Maybe had it once in the last 12 years. Finally decided to go to couples/sex therapy this year. Not sure it is helping, but at least I finally brought up that I wanted to try something. My wife is my best friend and I love here with every fiber, just wish there was more intimacy there."
iathpa
it never happens...
"We haven't had sex in five months due to numerous reasons. Never have alone time with my mom and daughter here. We're both too tired. Our bed we have sex on is where my mom is sleeping. Our waterbed is difficult to use. We always say next weekend and it never happens. We're still going strong though. We love each other and that's what matters."
prettysouthernchick
Well I guess some people can make it work. More power to you.
We all have things which get on our nerves.
Some people have a fairly high tolerance level, and are only truly perturbed by things which are beyond the bounds of common decency, or which are universally accepted as annoying or inconvenient.
Others are not so lucky, and tend to be set off by things which might go completely unnoticed by everyone else.
Redditor Onatic420 was curious to learn the things which instantly make others want to pull their hair out and scream, leading them to ask:
"What do you find annoying as f*ck?"
Is it so hard to pick up after yourself?
"Habitual litterers."- SuvenPan
"When people don’t clean up after themselves."- cheeto_has_spoken
If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen
"People that can dish it but can’t take it."
"I work with a dude like this and it’s terrible."- MF_Ghidra
Never judge something by it's size.
"When skin tears near your fingernail and that teeny tiny wound hurts way more than it should."- BlackCaaaaat
"Buzz Buzz"
"When mosquitoes fly by ur ears."- AxcesDrifter
Back to where we started...
"The Reddit app when it scrolls back up to the top of the 65 TRILLION FKN articles you’ve read."
"It should burn the articles as you read them."- Deathdar1577
Get out of the way!
"People who leave the f*cking shopping carts in middle of the f*cking aisle!"- otherm0ther
But enough about me, what do you think of me?
"People who make it all about themselves."- ExtensionAir7
A lost cause
"Willfully ignorant people."- KingZaneTheStrange
Be it the way another person behaves or common, every day occurrences, we all have things which get on our nerves.
Most of the time it's best to grin and bear it.
But next time you see someone litter, it might be a fine opportunity to let that anger out.
For your sake, and everyone else's.