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Lawyers Describe Which Cases They Wish They Had Never Won

Regret is a real feeling....

Lawyers have a difficult job. Yes we make fun of them and often make their lives miserable but they are just doing their jobs to the best of their abilities. They are human... contrary to popular belief. They have plenty of moments and mistakes they regret. And in hindsight they often look back at a win as a fail.

Redditor u/Mr-Ard wanted to know if any of the law professionals out there were wiling to fess up by asking.... Lawyers of reddit, what case you wish you never won?

Was I happy I won? 

Client hired IT consultants from another consulting firm. The firm basically found qualified people and rented them out, sort of like a recruiter but they get fees forever (common in IT consulting). Client eventually thought he was paying too much (even though he agreed to it), and stopped paying. He owed $200k.

In NJ, you need to be licensed as a consulting firm. If you're not, you can't sue for your unpaid bills. They sued anyway, tried to argue some loopholes. We won, client paid nothing beyond my legal fees.

Was I happy I won? Meh. Gave me a great story, great for my reputation. Doesn't feel great helping out a douchebag though. I'm an underling who had no role in being able to reject the case, so that was a little bit of a consolation at least. CarolaMckey

No Coaching....

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Not a lawyer, but I became friends with one after my friend took USAA to court after they wouldn't pay a claim when their member rear ended her on her scooter after she stopped for a stop sign. Their lawyer kept talking to me to try to coach my friend on what to say, but she just wouldn't listen. He was a nice guy and wanted to help her since his client was obviously in the wrong. Unfortunately, USAA won and she was stuck with a $12k ER bill. AggravatingEducator4

Sorry....

I represented a man accused of murder. I was able to get him off on a technicality during his arrest but it was pretty clear he was guilty of the murder. I truly regret getting him off because he was most definitely guilty. 2stepgarage

None.

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Lifelong public defender, here. None.

I will also say that my feelings for a client are rarely impacted by what they are accused of having done. I've had accused murderers whom I enjoyed working with. I've had accused shoplifters I've wanted to strangle. aolowa

Pain in the Neck....

When I was an insurance defense attorney there was a guy who sued one of my clients after she hit his car and hurt his neck. He was legitimately hurt bad enough to where he couldn't do his job anymore. I had to defend her and I did a good job from her and her insurance company's perspective and all he got was his past medical bills. The jury should have given him a lot more than that, and I have felt bad about that for years. ipaywithlitecoin

Medical Issues.... 

I represented a foreign medical company, they have a worldwide monopoly in a treatment for a specific kind of cancer. They used to sell these treatments to hospital and other public organizations. They had a fight with buyers for the price of the treatment, they wanted to be paid way more of the price set up by the hospitals, so they decided to fake a shortage in some of the components needed and stopped producing this product worldwide, leaving a lot of patients to certain death.

After some time that they came back to produce that same product and their price demand were met. They had both criminal and civil consequences, but In the end I managed to reduce the their responsibility to just a small economic fine which was less than 0,001 per cent of the profit they made with this whole operation. Mim3sis

Looking at the Dying....

I won a case for a pharmaceutical company that was accused of selling contaminated products. My cases were all against people who had developed terminal illnesses and I fought tooth and nail to discredit the scientific experts that the plaintiffs put on the stand.

I started out losing cases and the sting of a loss lasted a day or two. The mistrials were best because we kinda "won," as in kicking the can down the road. Looking at a dying person when the jury read their verdict in my favor will never leave me.

I didn't show up at work for months, then kinda sat at my desk for a few months, then eventually quit. I'm living off my savings now (not as much as you'd think) and volunteering for organizations that need lawyers.

If I'd lost that case I would have stayed in my happy world indefinitely. I'm glad I'm out of that world but that win took its toll on my life. Cheef-Justice

'winning'

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Well once you've taken a case (more realistically, it was given to you) you have no choice but to do whatever you think is necessary for the best interests of your client. To do anything less open you up to a malpractice lawsuit.

Also, don't forget there are lawyers on both sides of the case with the same duty to their clients. So in the end the 'winning' side is simply the one that put forward a stronger case. shouldbhi

New Career.

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The one thing this post is teaching me is that I could never be a lawyer because I have a conscience.

And I mean no offense by this. I am sorry that you folks have to live with these things. I know I am not mentally strong enough. TheGoodGovernment

In a funky country....

None of them. I want to win. I knew though that I'd have a tougher time not being emotionally engaged with family law and crime and anything else really emotive and so forged a career where it's companies and cash at stake.

Now I work in-house as a litigator for a multinational co covering disputes throughout the world. I always do make sure that if we're thinking of litigating in a funky country that the penalties aren't inhumane. No interest in someone getting executed or flogged for messing with the Company. aolllllllll

"They found me NOT guilty??"

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I had a misdemeanor stalking case once. Client wanted a jury trial so we did that and I had to question the poor girl who was getting harassed by this guy. The jury came back with a 'not guilty' verdict, and my client turned to me and said incredulously, "They found me NOT guilty??" Yeah, that case. ThePrimCrow

Germany Tales... 

Right before taking my bar exam in Germany I was working in a small law firm as a law apprentice. There was one case which was given to me, because it was considered unwinable but the client insisted on pushing through. The case was about an elderly lady who sold her cat, because she was too sick to take care of her.

The buyer of the cat our client, a rather wealthy lady, took the cat to the vet right after buying it. Apparently the cat needed 2000€ worth of surgeries. She hired us to collect those 2000 from the old lady. She was really an unpleasant woman to say at least.

She acted without even the slightest bit of remorse or empathy. She knew exactly in what situation the old lady was, because she was the one who informed us about it. Nevertheless we won the case pretty quick even though our client didn't have a leg to stand on. CrystalDexter

big city in America....

I used to prosecute neglect cases for Child Protection Services. After a few high profile cases where young kids ended up dead at the hands of family members, CPS starting asking us to file on pretty much everybody (I understand why, but I wish they would have stood up to the bad press instead of allowing it to dictate who they brought to court).

From that point on, I would say about half my cases, even though a cause of action existed, I felt guilty for winning. folicfoil

Copyright Issues...

We took a copyright case to trial twice, and then an appeal, and won every time. The case was on contingency (the client doesn't pay unless you win). We have spent years trying to collect the judgment from the defendant so we can get paid (we have a judgment for our own fees that is close to $1 million), throwing good money after bad.

The Defendant hid his assets very effectively (put all hard assets into LLCs, got paid hundreds of thousands a year in cash and services to avoid banks, etc.). He died of covid19 on Friday, and was likely savvy enough to avoid probate.

All of this is a gross oversimplification, but the TL;DR is we won a case three times, and have never been paid a cent because the loser was very shady and died, so we will likely get nothing for the client or ourselves. 3choplex

We won.

Giphy

Was a labor lawyer for some time and we had a no-exception policy against using the company credit card for personal expenses. Everyone knows you get fired for it because they beat it into you with frequent training, make you sign stuff, etc. We fired a guy who was a few months from retirement, and his union filed for arbitration.

Arbitration is kind of a joke and any labor lawyer will tell you that no arbitrator would uphold that termination even if the guy wasn't near retirement. We won. Due to the way the pension worked, the fact he left before he reached 55 led to a massive pension discount, like hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Oh, by the way his offense was fulling up his car with gas using company card because he had left his personal card somewhere and was going to run out of gas. (On the other side of the coin I had many employees do insane things like hide and sleep at work for 40 hours, lead to a 30,000 gallon gasoline spill, fighting, death threats, etc who all got their jobs back through arbitration). LenoreHalperin

Bills....

Seeing lots of armchair lawyers in here, but I can tell you the cases we often wish we lost: the ones where clients don't pay their damn bills. Actually getting paid is one of the most stressful parts of practicing. dustydeceiver

At a Loss....

Worked for a large law firm. We 'won' freedom for a suspected terrorist who probably did commit a very serious atrocity but politics got in the way of convicting him.

Sorry cannot say which case this was. sundialsoft

I'm used to do divorces....

I'm used to do divorces, mostly. I'm not cut out for that work but it's the job I could get out of law school. A guy came in for a divorce and seemed, by all accounts, really nice. He claimed that they had $50k in cash in their safe and that his wife had taken it out when she left the house. His ex wife never worked so seemed reasonable she would take the money to help pay bills, start over, etc. 6 months in though, when we were finalizing property, his true colors started to show. Refusing to let her have the toaster, arguing over giving her anything even though she hadn't worked their entire 15 year marriage, telling her she could have half of the expensive plants SHE tended to only if she came and got them herself without help.

For reference, these plants were in a green house and some weighed upwards of 100lbs each (she probably weighed 100lbs herself; extremely meek woman in her 60s). The other lawyer and I finally get everything settled except the $50k. My client says she took it, ex wife says she did initially but then put it back on the advice of her attorney. So we go to trial just on this $50k. I cross examine her elderly parents, treat them as hostile, really go all out. Up against a veteran attorney who had been doing this for 30 plus years while I was BRAND NEW, I had to show my worth.

In the end, the judge ended up declaring that the $50k was "lost money." No one, technically, wins. 1 hour later my client waltzes into the office and pays his $15k bill all in $100 bills. I just stared silently at the money while he smiled widely at me, thanked me for helping him and then left. I quit practicing law entirely 3 months later. I still think about his ex wife (who honestly seemed sweet and lovely) and hope she's okay. aworldofnonsense

Insurance Issues....  

one of our cases was trying to get the lowest possible amount for a guy who while doing his job in a stationary car was hit from behind at full speed (his car was off the road the other driver was impaired) and his car was slammed into the 18 wheeler he was helping. He is forever handicapped and in a home and our job was to get him way less than he deserved... I didn't want to work insurance defense anymore after that one. quint1993

irrefutable....

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I always thought it would be cool to be a lawyer until I had to pay 63K in attorney fees over the course of 2 years for custody of my daughter. Now I'm not complaining so much about the money, more so about watching her attorney try to turn a turd into a piece of gold, no matter how irrefutable the evidence against her was.

I wouldn't be able to live with myself or sleep at night defending on cases like that where I would potentially be trying to return children to drugs, abuse, neglect and etc. mienkio

REDDIT

Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or ":zipper_mouth_face:" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.

Signs Someone's Gotten Way Too Deep Into Conspiracy Theories

Reddit user sheerduckinghubris asked: 'what is a sign someone is way too deep into conspiracy theories?'

white and gray round plastic decor
Photo by Agent J on Unsplash

About 10 or so years ago, my brother got really into the Illuminati. He spent hours reading and researching and knew everything about the Illuminati. He could recite lectures when asked. I used to tease him about being a conspiracy theorist.

Then, I met a new friend of his. My brother and his friend bonded over their obsession with the Illuminati, but I never teased my brother again. That's because, after meeting his friend, I realized I had it easy.

My brother's friend constantly talked about the Illuminati. He'd find a way to bring every conversation back to the Illuminati or relate every action or word of the Illuminati. My brother only talked about this when asked. His friend didn't even need the slightest prompting.

That was when I first learned that people who are really deep into conspiracy theories show signs that they're deep into it. I'm not the only one who knows this. Redditors know that there are signs people show when they're deep into conspiracy theories and are eager to share what those signs are.

It all started when Redditor sheerduckinghubris asked:

"What is a sign someone is way too deep into conspiracy theories?"

No Tech Please

"An extended family-member-in-law keeps the Wifi router and all other TVs and communication devices, aside from their cell phones, in their house unplugged. If you want to use them while visiting, you have to ask permission, plug them in, then unplug them when you are done. They’re legit afraid of 5G and other radio waves on their physical and mental health, and seriously believe that” the government” is listening and tracking everything they do."

"I always remind them that “the government” is literally other humans that you can interact with, possibly your neighbors that sit on elected and voluntary boards and councils, and not some arbitrary anonymous “the government” entity."

"Them: But but “they’re” poisoning our water!"

"Me: Who? You mean Bill, the director of public works? Let’s call and ask him."

"Them: You can’t just call “them.”"

"Me: Actually, you can, let’s call Bill and ask him if he’s poisoning your water, and while we’re at it, let’s call Tom the major and ask if he’s trying to mind control you."

– jklolffgg

Social Media Signs

"I have a friend from college who has gone down this route. My only reference at this point is the rants he posts on Facebook. But everyone starts out the same: "Facebook keeps taking this down and flagging it because they don't want you to know the truth........""

– CoolHandRK1

"I'm sure this friend has no problem with the cognitive dissonance of "private businesses should be able to do whatever they want" and "I'm being CENSORED by SOCIAL MEDIA.""

– HaveAWillieNiceDay

Too Far Gone

"I think when they start fearing 5G or saying the earth is flat/stop brushing their teeth...I'm good."

– unmistakably

"Wait what stop brushing their teeth?"

– notaveryuniqueuser

"I could be wrong but I think they are scared of fluoride."

– ConnerennoC

"yep. that AND they think their diet makes it so they don't have to brush their teeth. YOU'RE WRONG. I CAN SMELL YOU."

– unmistakably

"This reminds me of how Steve Jobs insisted that he didn't need to bath or wear deodorant because his fruitarian diet flushed his body of mucus so he couldn't smell bad, but everyone around him could smell how utterly wrong he was."

– lesbowski

Signs Of A Shot

"I have a buddy from college who lost his mind during COVID. Now he posts all sorts of weird things on FB. Any time anyone of note dies it’s, “I bet they got the jab! No one just DIES for no reason!”"

– Prsop2000

"I’m a funeral director and embalmer and I had a guy call me one day and ask if I had seen white threads in the blood of people who had died and gotten the Covid shot. MFer how the hell am I going to know if they got vaxxed or not? I had another dude tell me conspiratorially that he knew I was seeing the white threads in blood because other funeral directors had told him that. Uh no they didn’t."

– PsychoticMessiah

Check Out My Ride

"Stickers all over the car."

– harajukukei

"I’ll do you one better. Saw a white beater car with conspiracy theories written all over it in sharpie."

– Ct-5736-Bladez

"My neighborhood has one...I always give it a wide berth..."

– breakermw

Eels, Energize!

"They have conspiracy theories that you’re not ready for."

– Telrom_1

"Like throwing your used car batteries into the ocean so the electric eels can charge."

– One-Permission-1811

"Where do you think the electric eels get their energy from?"

– unsmartkid

Free Thinkers

"They wear a "Warning: Free Thinker" tee shirt to Costco."

– flibbidygibbit

"Ironically mass produced and bought by "free thinkers.""

– mr_remy

"They need a Costco card to shop at Costco. Doesn't that concern them? Why does Costco need to know their names and addresses and keep records of their purchases?"

– CoralSkinRot

Cheeto Hands

"When professionals like doctors and historians are lying but some rando on YouTube in his basement with LED lights in the background and Hot Cheeto cheese on his fingers is telling them the REAL truth about (insert topic here)."

– Late_Comedian_5269

Medical Quacks

"What I find even worse are the (very few, but loud) doctors and other professionals who fall down the rabbit hole and give a bunch of false information. They become a beacon to other nut jobs.

Which is crazy because these nut jobs have 0 trust in doctors but once they find a crazy doctor who shares their opinions, they suddenly trust that one specific doctor."

"The regulatory boards need to remove these doctors who spread harmful messages."

– DantesEdmond

"This happened with the "autism is caused by vaccinations" doctor. He was stripped of his medical license for the insane amount of damage he did with that campaign."

– agolec

"They often do strip them of licenses or whatever the equivalent is in what field they're in. The problem is that for many conspiracy theorists, that's simply proof that the "expert" is right and "they" are trying to hide it by attempting to destroy the person's credibility. Unfortunately, people can delude themselves into believing almost anything."

– CityofOrphans

It's Always Them

"They say something like "It's all a distraction. You see, they don't want you to know what's really going on.""

"Then when you ask them what they think is "really going on", they laugh and call you a "sheeple".

– BubbhaJebus

The Flat-Earthers

"When they install satellite dishes but don't understand how the satellites stay in space because the earth is flat."

"True story when I had satellite internet installed."

– Dijiwolf1975

Chicken Little

"They all have a look in their eye's that screams "the sky is falling". Hyper aware, anxious, paranoid, easily triggered."

– buffslens

Talk Talk Talk

"Don't worry, they'll tell you."

– FishAndRiceKeks

"Yes. And every video they post is from a dude sitting in a car. Just endless dudes in trucks and cars, that's who they get their news from."

– PreferredSelection

"I have a few friends who fell down the rabbit hole."

"The most tell tale sign is that it's literally all they will talk about. At all. Every convo you have? Back to conspiracies, Illuminati, QAnon, pizzagate, the elite, the NWO (not the wrestling kind...)... heavy fixation on Covid.... etc.. Every single one.

"Most of them sound VERY uneducated, but think they solved some master life puzzle. Some may be sovereign citizens."

"Another obvious one... I had one friend who ghosted me. I finally got a hold of him and asked him what's up and he said "well it's because you're a deep state spy.""

– BlackIsTheSoul

"There is this tour provided by this lady in Seattle visiting 90s Seattle music landmarks. It's typically small groups. Around 6 people when I did the tour."

"Most of them sound VERY uneducated, but think they solved some master life puzzle. Some may be sovereign citizens."

"In the middle of the tour, we stopped by a pub for a drink and just to talk. One of them was this US Army dude who tagged along with his wife. 3 minutes after talking about the places we just visited he started telling me his opinion on how certain events like 9-11 were actually perpetrated by the government."

– muthaflicka

"I nodded, and immediately got up and told him I wanted to check out the album covers being displayed on this wall."

"He was around 30-ish, fit, looked sharp and smart, and spoke eloquently about other things. Caught me off-guard."

– muthaflicka

"This is the answer."

"Most of these people have zero self awareness and will reveal themselves pretty early lol."

– nsfwtttt

Yup, that's the biggest sign (and the one my brother's friend gave me)!

Close up, mid-section shot of a bride and groom at the altar, his hands clasped, her's holding her bouquet
Photo by Luis Tosta

It's nerve-wracking to trust love quickly.

Some people wait years to marry and it still doesn't work out.

So who is to say what is the perfect time from "Hello" to "I Do?"

Nobody. That's who.

Maybe the heart really does know what it wants right away.

We'll never know until we try.

Courtship can be slow or rapid.

It's all a matter of the heart.

Redditor kiralynnkk wanted to hear from the couples who couldn't wait any longer to get married, so they asked:

"If you got married after less than six months of dating, what’s your story?"

I'm still single.

I waited for a while.

And I've jumped quickly.

So I'm at a loss.

You Know?

Winter Solstice Christmas GIF by Chippy the DogGiphy

"My friends met on Halloween, engaged on Thanksgiving, and married on New Year’s Day. They lived 900 miles from each other. Still married 30+ years later."

"Explanation: 'When you know, you know, y’know?'"

Smokey_Katt

Couldn't Wait

"We got engaged and moved into an apartment together after about 3 1/2 months of dating, but we didn't get married for another 6 1/2 months after that because of the time it took to make the wedding arrangements. So maybe that doesn't count, but it's close."

"As to why it was so quick, I guess we just knew we wanted to be together and didn't want to wait. We've been married 33 years."

catsaway9

When in Vegas

"My wife is from Eastern EU and was on vacation visiting family in my US city. We met on Tinder and met at a restaurant for drinks. I still remember exactly what she looked like walking through the door. She was even prettier than her pictures (stunning) and I loved that she was well-traveled and super intelligent. On the first day we met, I told her that she would be telling our grandkids the story."

"We ended up engaged at 3 months and got married in Vegas at 5 months. We're now just over six years married with two kids, and we dropped our oldest off on his first day of preschool today."

RepeatUntilTheEnd

The Click

"When I met my wife, we just clicked. we met in December, flew out of the country to meet her family in February, and moved in together in March. We will be celebrating our 6th anniversary next month."

HumorTumorous

"This is kind of how it was for my husband and I. Met early summer of 2016. Engaged by the end of summer. Married Feb of 2017 (visa process kind of had us rush that marriage bit since we had to marry within 3 months of me entering the country)."

"Just kinda knew. We'll be married for 7 years this February. Hopefully, it continues... lol."

SweetContext

Confessions

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"We were roommates. She confessed we had our first date, and it was just like we were supposed to be together. I always say that our first kiss felt like Chidi seeing the time knife - kind of terrifying because it was so wow, but an ultimately life-changing truth."

goatman1062

Ah... the roommate situation.

It's a gamble, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

At least you know each other first.

Decades Later

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"Started dating in October, found out she was pregnant in December, married in March. 37 years, two children, and two grandchildren later we're still together and happy."

RandomGrotnik

The Next Day

"Went to Ukraine to visit Chornobyl 7 years ago. The next day, sent out a bunch of messages on Tinder to everyone asking if they'd be up to give me and my mate a tour of Kyiv (which we always did, and never, ever hooked up - I'm too much of a prude for that)."

"This one lady agreed, we met in a bar for tea, hired a limo, drove around for 5 hours, and at the end of the night I told her I loved her, we met the following morning before my flight home (I ditched my mate and said I'd meet him at the airport)."

"I flew back to Kyiv 2 weeks later for the weekend, we officially became a couple. I quit my job, sold everything I owned, and emigrated 8 weeks later and we married a month after that. We've been married 7 years, have 1 child, and a second on the way."

DruzhbyNarodiv

Here We Are...

"I knew him for 10 years before we started dating and finally when we got together we said we are never breaking up no matter what. We were engaged for 6 months and got married. 16 years later here we are."

swisscoffeeknife

"I met my husband in middle school. We never dated, but were always friends. Drifted apart, he had a kid with a crazy lady, and I watched from afar. Ended a long-term relationship and a month later I ran into him at the gym. Went on a date, moved in a month later, pregnant 4 months later, and married 2 months after that. 2 kids (plus my step), and we celebrate our 10 years next Feb."

jace191

Decades Later

Happy Anniversary GIFGiphy

"My parents got married on the six-month anniversary of their first date. They had their 65-year wedding anniversary in August."

SnooPickles7989

Happy Anniversary to all!!

Sounds like there are no time constraints on love.

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Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash

No two family homes are exactly alike, but some households are wildly different, from how they're decorated to what the family eats to how the family members treat each other.

What's interesting is how two people could be best friends and lead completely different lifestyles when they go home, but their friend might never know that until they go for a visit.

Redditor mango-chocolate asked:

"What is the biggest cultural shock you experienced when going to someone else's house?"

Bad Hostesses

"This is the strangest experience I’ve ever had at someone’s home. I worked with this young Cuban gal as a waitress while I was studying at University."

"She mentioned that her sister needed some help with Math in her Nursing program so I offered to go over and tutor."

"I knew it was a multi-generational house with parents, adult children, grandparents, great-grandparents and babies. When I arrived at the house, only the sister was home."

"She invited me in and started unloading the refrigerator of leftovers and asked if I would like to have some of this, some of that, etc."

"I was genuinely not hungry but she was super persistent and made us some food anyway. She offered me a drink, but I just wanted water. She made herself a Cuban coffee and insisted I have one too."

"Then my friend comes home, and looks at us studying. In front of me, I have snacks, water, and a coffee."

"She begins screaming at her sister in Spanish. I can barely make it out, but she’s mad that her sister didn’t offer me anything to drink or eat. I explained I wasn’t hungry and I had two drinks in front of me, but she was still mad at her sister."

"Their parents came home and they started yelling about the same thing and accusing their daughters of being bad hostesses! I felt bad, and I somehow allowed five drinks to served to me and so much food, I was stuffed for the rest of the day."

"The whole experience was a weird combination of feeling guilty or like I may have insulted them, but also feeling loved and appreciated."

"When my friend introduced me to her family, she introduced me as the woman that would carry all her trays at work while she was pregnant so she didn’t have to lift them. I can’t believe she had even remembered that. I hadn’t until she brought it up. They made me like an honored guest in their home."

- mydogdoesntcuddle

"I’m Cuban. Not offering food or drink to your guest is extremely rude and shameful. And we mean FOOD AND DRINK. Not little finger sandwiches and tea. This even extends to a maintenance person that comes by, or a mail carrier, etc. it’s like grandma culture on steroids."

"Additionally, our intrapersonal communication style is extremely loud and can seem aggressive to others, so they might not have actually been yelling at each other."

"My stepfather is a white American from NYC, and when he saw the way my mother and I spoke to each other when we first started living together he’d constantly be worried asking why we were fighting; we’d have to explain we weren’t fighting, just casually talking."

- Asleep_Sherbet_3013

A Lack of Reading Material

"I hung out with my college roommates' family around Christmas. There were NO books in the house, none. This was early aughts."

"She told me her parents didn't want challenging books in their house to make the kids feel stupid."

"Her parents were professors at our college in the EDUCATION department."

"She (my roommate) and her siblings were f**king stupid."

- angel_inthe_fire

"I have always had a ton of books in almost every room growing up. It came as a shock going to someone's home and NOT seeing a book anywhere."

- GeekyBookWorm87

Loving Families

"When I was a teen, I was genuinely shocked to see that other families actually loved each other and wanted to interact and say nice things to each other."

"I kept expecting it to turn dark, and when it didn’t, I had no idea what to do and felt completely ashamed and out of place."

- MTBeanerschnitzel

Far Too Strict

"As a kid, I visited some friends who had scary 'yes sir/no sir' fathers who were quick to use a belt on them."

"None of those guys turned out well as adults, I might add."

"The funny thing is, my dad was an Army platoon sergeant, yet he was a jovial and easy-going father."

- p38-lightning

Empty Plates Only

"My friend's parents would make them finish their meals, even if they said they were full."

"The meals looked huge to me, and my friend was overweight. It felt depressing."

"If I was full at home, I'd never be pressured to eat absolutely everything if I didn't want to."

- nightsofthesunkissed

An American Breakfast

"I'm a first-generation American (Asian). Due to TV cereal commercials while watching Saturday morning cartoons, I grew up believing that White people would simultaneously have a glass of milk and a glass of OJ in the morning (as part of this complete breakfast)."

"You can imagine my disappointment the day after sleepovers at friends' homes."

- cloudedarcher

"My mom (white) literally did this. I'm not sure if she got it from commercials or something else because she had a weird idea of nutrition on other stuff too, but literally every morning my breakfast included an eight-ounce glass of milk and a four-ounce glass of orange juice."

"The combination is actually terrible. OJ and milk don't mix well in your stomach and drinking them together always made me feel uncomfortable, but it was the kind of household where I got in trouble for not finishing the whole meal."

"A pretty common weekday morning breakfast was a bagel with cream cheese and jam on both halves, some sliced-up strawberries, milk, and OJ. It's way more food than I'd eat for breakfast on a typical day as an adult and I was often uncomfortably full from it as a kid."

- SeaworthySwarth

Not So Messy

"I was raised by two women (my mother and my dad's wife) whose notion of cleanliness was such that rooms were sterile and it looked to me like the point was to make it look like no one lived in our house."

"By contrast, I was used to being called and feeling like I was a 'messy' person because none of those things are priorities to me."

"The first time I went into the house of someone who was truly messy... I'm talking leftover candles from a birthday party that happened two weeks ago still on the dining-room table messy, basement so full of junk the notion of separate rooms has been made abstract... it rearranged the way I looked at myself a little."

- BananasPineapples05

The Importance of Snack Time

"I remember going to a friend’s house after school we sat at the kitchen island and her mom gave us apple wedges with peanut butter and they talked about school."

"I was blown away that her mom just gave out snacks and was interested in her life, I thought it was probably a special occasion since I was there."

"Then I experienced snacks at other friends’ houses."

"I told my mom about the apple wedges and peanut butter once and she screamed at me and said if I wanted a perfect family, why don’t I go live with them? She worked full time and I cooked pasta for my brother and me most nights, there was nothing resembling snacks in the house. We just had meals and drank water."

"As an adult, I have a snacking problem."

- yokizururu

...Excuse Me?

"Back in high school, I visited a friend's house and had to use the bathroom."

"I asked her where the toilet paper was in the bathroom and she said, 'We don't really wipe our butts in this house.'"

- Silent-Bird-4474

Always Say 'I Love You'

"People not saying 'I love you' before leaving or hanging up the phone. I was always taught to say 'I love you' to family before hanging up the phone or saying goodbye."

"You never know when your last goodbye will be so let the last thing you say to a loved one be 'I love you.'"

"A tradition I continue to practice to this day. Yet I think I was the only one who did that in my friend group."

- Herpypony

"My family never said I love you growing up. I asked my mom about it not long ago, and she said her dad never told her, so she didn't know to say it to her kids."

"One of my sisters started saying it, and making us say it, when we were in our 20s. It felt so awkward and weird to say it, but I forced myself. Now, 20 years later, we always say it to each other, and it feels normal. I should ask my sister about why and how she got the idea to start saying it to us."

"It seems so odd to me now that my parents never said I love you to me or my sisters growing up. They showed us, but never said it."

- Zaltara_The_Red

Run Away!

"When my friend's Russian grandmother chased me with a shoe and yelled at me in Russian."

"I didn’t know why she was angry but all my friend would say is that it had something to do with where I put my shoes when I entered the house."

- ArmyRepresentative88

An Awe-Inspiring Breakfast

"I went to the neighbor's house for breakfast one morning before the bus. We were good friends. She's Hindu, and her family is as well."

"It was a culture shock to see and smell the amazing food we had that morning. It wasn't the normal pancakes, eggs, and bacon for Americans."

"I think it was potato latkas with some delicious green spread. God, I wanted to eat all of it, and her mom was so happy I loved it."

"Never before in my life had I had such a different breakfast for me. It was shock and awe I experienced."

- Apprehensive-Skill34

Different Cultures, Different Accessories

"I’m an international student in the USA. I lived with my grand uncle for six months, and one of the cultural shocks that surprised me was that he had carpeted floors in his bathrooms. And also the lack of bidets in America."

- cassiemoonnana

A Kid's Dream

"I went to a friend's house at maybe age nine and was floored that she didn't share a bedroom with her little sister. On top of this, she also had a double bed and a small TV in her room hooked up to a PlayStation 2."

- LittleMsBlue

The Love of the Family

"I learned that other people's parents smiled at them, were nice to them, and seemed to enjoy having them around."

"I rarely experienced any of that. I thought everyone's parents were angry all the time and didn't like them much."

- t_portch

"I had a friend over recently and she thought it was necessary to tell our teenage son how lucky he was to have parents who love him (this was after a few beers)."

"I was kinda taken aback by the comment, given the realization that some parents don't dote on their kids, including my friend. Apparently some don't..."

- MainInTheMT

"Same. I had a best friend who was from Croatia. Her parents loved her and her brother so much, and they definitely weren’t afraid to show it."

"Her dad would hug her every night when he got home. It was absolutely shocking to me."

"I also would intentionally go to her house after school because her mom would have a FEAST waiting for us."

- NuriMoons

You never know what you're going to find before visiting someone else's home, from different decorations and food, to different beliefs about how a family should treat each other.

In a way, it's heartwarming to know that these Redditors were exposed to these different lifestyles, perhaps especially those who didn't know that families could show each other love, so they might have higher standards for their relationships in the future.

Person fanning out wad of $100 bills
Alexander Mils/Unsplash

Working a first job is an important part of growing up.

Whether it's working a paper route (do kids even do this anymore?) or working at a video rental store (do those even exist anymore?) first-ever part-time jobs establish important life values and lessons to the youth.

Also, there's nothing that validates accomplishment at a young age more than being able to buy something with their hard-earned money.

Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor MisterChiTown92 asked:

"What did you buy with your first ever work paycheck?"

These generous Redditors found value in paying it forward.

Dinner's On Me

"It was 1976, I was making a whopping $2.50/hour at age 16 (20 cents higher than minimum wage, and it was an office job so I wasn't on my feet all day)....my family didn't have a lot of money (which is why I started working while in the 11th grade), so with my first paycheck I took my Mom and brothers out to dinner at Big Boy. I remember being all proud to say 'Get whatever you want, even the combo meal and a milkshake, it's on me."'

– Ouisch

Dinner Miscalculation

"I took my mom out to a fancy French restaurant. I had no idea how much it was going to cost, then plus tip, I didn’t even have enough! So she had to help me pay the rest. My mom still joke about that from time to time when we go out with the family."

"That was almost 25 yrs ago, damn time flew by."

– jonwtc

Gift For Mom

"I bought my mother a beautiful shawl. I never saw her wear it but it was in with her things when she died nearly 50 years later."

– WakingOwl1

These Redditors got to reward themselves with the things they enjoy most.

Creating Memories

"About twenty bucks of my first paper route earnings, for the pizza buffet and soft drinks, and some arcade games, with my best friend."

"While the shape I've been in has varied over the years, I've kept that stamina I built up hauling around damn near my weight in newsprint. For long endurance rides, hikes with a loaded-up pack, and running."

– ArmsForPeace84

Brand New Kicks

"I was 14 and got a job as a bus boy at a local BBQ joint. With my first check, I went and bought myself a pair of blue/brown Airwalk shoes. I remember how cool it felt to be able to buy something for myself and not have to ask my parents."

– johnnybmagic

Scoring Big Time

"A Playstation 2. Excellent buy, kept it for a over decade before buying an Xbox One."

– Birdo-the-Besto

"It was an Xbox 360 for me. Loved that console."

– HabeLinkin

"Still have a modded PS2. Had a hard drive with games on it too. It still turns on last I checked, I wonder if the hard drive still works..."

–DubaU

A Timeless Treasure

"My family owned a construction business, and my father had me on site for as long as I could remember. I don't remember the first thing I ever bought with what he paid me, but I remember the first thing I set out to buy and had to work for weeks to get the money for. It was a Lego castle set. $49. I'm almost 50 now, and I still have it."

– Spodson

Naughty Pleasures

"lol I bought a candy g-string so I could eat it off of my girlfriend while she was wearing it, and a black cowboy hat with spikes on it from Hot Topic hahaha"

dirtydickmf

Some recalled having to prioritize taking care of business over indulgences.

The Necessities

"gasoline and insurance to continue to be able to go to work."

– TurpitudeSnuggery

"I remember getting my first paycheck being so proud of it and my stepfather goes wow you don't have enough for gas. How are you getting to work for the next two weeks? Made me realize I needed to work more."

"I should also put in here that this was my first on the books paycheck. Made it feel a little different."

– truelydorky

Saving Up For Wheels

"Used to mow lawns and do odd jobs for cash when I was a kid. When I got my first 'real' paycheck that I had to cash at a bank, I saved every penny for several months until I bought my first car at age 16."

"Had zero expenses back then, which made it easy to save money. Fun memory."

– YupHio

Building A Wardrobe

"Clothes."

"I had to start working at the age of 12 because my parents could no longer afford to buy clothes for me."

– Opposite-Purpose365

I worked at a video game store in the mall when I was 15.

I was miserable being stuck behind a counter in a tiny corner store with hardly any adequate air circulation. Working with a personality-clashing co-worker didn't help things either.

But when I got my first paycheck, I remember thinking it was a major milestone and reward for enduring the unpleasant work conditions.

I used my first-ever earnings on a denim jacket from the Gap at the mall where I worked. I wore that stone-washed jacket with pride at school for years.

What was your most prized purchase from your first paycheck?