Lawyers have a difficult job. Yes we make fun of them and often make their lives miserable but they are just doing their jobs to the best of their abilities. They are human... contrary to popular belief. They have plenty of moments and mistakes they regret. And in hindsight they often look back at a win as a fail.
Redditor u/Mr-Ard wanted to know if any of the law professionals out there were wiling to fess up by asking.... Lawyers of reddit, what case you wish you never won?Was I happy I won?
Client hired IT consultants from another consulting firm. The firm basically found qualified people and rented them out, sort of like a recruiter but they get fees forever (common in IT consulting). Client eventually thought he was paying too much (even though he agreed to it), and stopped paying. He owed $200k.
In NJ, you need to be licensed as a consulting firm. If you're not, you can't sue for your unpaid bills. They sued anyway, tried to argue some loopholes. We won, client paid nothing beyond my legal fees.
Was I happy I won? Meh. Gave me a great story, great for my reputation. Doesn't feel great helping out a douchebag though. I'm an underling who had no role in being able to reject the case, so that was a little bit of a consolation at least. CarolaMckey
No Coaching....
GiphyNot a lawyer, but I became friends with one after my friend took USAA to court after they wouldn't pay a claim when their member rear ended her on her scooter after she stopped for a stop sign. Their lawyer kept talking to me to try to coach my friend on what to say, but she just wouldn't listen. He was a nice guy and wanted to help her since his client was obviously in the wrong. Unfortunately, USAA won and she was stuck with a $12k ER bill. AggravatingEducator4
Sorry....
I represented a man accused of murder. I was able to get him off on a technicality during his arrest but it was pretty clear he was guilty of the murder. I truly regret getting him off because he was most definitely guilty. 2stepgarage
None.
GiphyLifelong public defender, here. None.
I will also say that my feelings for a client are rarely impacted by what they are accused of having done. I've had accused murderers whom I enjoyed working with. I've had accused shoplifters I've wanted to strangle. aolowa
Pain in the Neck....
When I was an insurance defense attorney there was a guy who sued one of my clients after she hit his car and hurt his neck. He was legitimately hurt bad enough to where he couldn't do his job anymore. I had to defend her and I did a good job from her and her insurance company's perspective and all he got was his past medical bills. The jury should have given him a lot more than that, and I have felt bad about that for years. ipaywithlitecoin
Medical Issues....
I represented a foreign medical company, they have a worldwide monopoly in a treatment for a specific kind of cancer. They used to sell these treatments to hospital and other public organizations. They had a fight with buyers for the price of the treatment, they wanted to be paid way more of the price set up by the hospitals, so they decided to fake a shortage in some of the components needed and stopped producing this product worldwide, leaving a lot of patients to certain death.
After some time that they came back to produce that same product and their price demand were met. They had both criminal and civil consequences, but In the end I managed to reduce the their responsibility to just a small economic fine which was less than 0,001 per cent of the profit they made with this whole operation. Mim3sis
Looking at the Dying....
I won a case for a pharmaceutical company that was accused of selling contaminated products. My cases were all against people who had developed terminal illnesses and I fought tooth and nail to discredit the scientific experts that the plaintiffs put on the stand.
I started out losing cases and the sting of a loss lasted a day or two. The mistrials were best because we kinda "won," as in kicking the can down the road. Looking at a dying person when the jury read their verdict in my favor will never leave me.
I didn't show up at work for months, then kinda sat at my desk for a few months, then eventually quit. I'm living off my savings now (not as much as you'd think) and volunteering for organizations that need lawyers.
If I'd lost that case I would have stayed in my happy world indefinitely. I'm glad I'm out of that world but that win took its toll on my life. Cheef-Justice
'winning'
GiphyWell once you've taken a case (more realistically, it was given to you) you have no choice but to do whatever you think is necessary for the best interests of your client. To do anything less open you up to a malpractice lawsuit.
Also, don't forget there are lawyers on both sides of the case with the same duty to their clients. So in the end the 'winning' side is simply the one that put forward a stronger case. shouldbhi
New Career.
GiphyThe one thing this post is teaching me is that I could never be a lawyer because I have a conscience.
And I mean no offense by this. I am sorry that you folks have to live with these things. I know I am not mentally strong enough. TheGoodGovernment
In a funky country....
None of them. I want to win. I knew though that I'd have a tougher time not being emotionally engaged with family law and crime and anything else really emotive and so forged a career where it's companies and cash at stake.
Now I work in-house as a litigator for a multinational co covering disputes throughout the world. I always do make sure that if we're thinking of litigating in a funky country that the penalties aren't inhumane. No interest in someone getting executed or flogged for messing with the Company. aolllllllll
"They found me NOT guilty??"
GiphyI had a misdemeanor stalking case once. Client wanted a jury trial so we did that and I had to question the poor girl who was getting harassed by this guy. The jury came back with a 'not guilty' verdict, and my client turned to me and said incredulously, "They found me NOT guilty??" Yeah, that case. ThePrimCrow
Germany Tales...
Right before taking my bar exam in Germany I was working in a small law firm as a law apprentice. There was one case which was given to me, because it was considered unwinable but the client insisted on pushing through. The case was about an elderly lady who sold her cat, because she was too sick to take care of her.
The buyer of the cat our client, a rather wealthy lady, took the cat to the vet right after buying it. Apparently the cat needed 2000€ worth of surgeries. She hired us to collect those 2000 from the old lady. She was really an unpleasant woman to say at least.
She acted without even the slightest bit of remorse or empathy. She knew exactly in what situation the old lady was, because she was the one who informed us about it. Nevertheless we won the case pretty quick even though our client didn't have a leg to stand on. CrystalDexter
big city in America....
I used to prosecute neglect cases for Child Protection Services. After a few high profile cases where young kids ended up dead at the hands of family members, CPS starting asking us to file on pretty much everybody (I understand why, but I wish they would have stood up to the bad press instead of allowing it to dictate who they brought to court).
From that point on, I would say about half my cases, even though a cause of action existed, I felt guilty for winning. folicfoil
Copyright Issues...
We took a copyright case to trial twice, and then an appeal, and won every time. The case was on contingency (the client doesn't pay unless you win). We have spent years trying to collect the judgment from the defendant so we can get paid (we have a judgment for our own fees that is close to $1 million), throwing good money after bad.
The Defendant hid his assets very effectively (put all hard assets into LLCs, got paid hundreds of thousands a year in cash and services to avoid banks, etc.). He died of covid19 on Friday, and was likely savvy enough to avoid probate.
All of this is a gross oversimplification, but the TL;DR is we won a case three times, and have never been paid a cent because the loser was very shady and died, so we will likely get nothing for the client or ourselves. 3choplex
We won.
GiphyWas a labor lawyer for some time and we had a no-exception policy against using the company credit card for personal expenses. Everyone knows you get fired for it because they beat it into you with frequent training, make you sign stuff, etc. We fired a guy who was a few months from retirement, and his union filed for arbitration.
Arbitration is kind of a joke and any labor lawyer will tell you that no arbitrator would uphold that termination even if the guy wasn't near retirement. We won. Due to the way the pension worked, the fact he left before he reached 55 led to a massive pension discount, like hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Oh, by the way his offense was fulling up his car with gas using company card because he had left his personal card somewhere and was going to run out of gas. (On the other side of the coin I had many employees do insane things like hide and sleep at work for 40 hours, lead to a 30,000 gallon gasoline spill, fighting, death threats, etc who all got their jobs back through arbitration). LenoreHalperin
Bills....
Seeing lots of armchair lawyers in here, but I can tell you the cases we often wish we lost: the ones where clients don't pay their damn bills. Actually getting paid is one of the most stressful parts of practicing. dustydeceiver
At a Loss....
Worked for a large law firm. We 'won' freedom for a suspected terrorist who probably did commit a very serious atrocity but politics got in the way of convicting him.
Sorry cannot say which case this was. sundialsoft
I'm used to do divorces....
I'm used to do divorces, mostly. I'm not cut out for that work but it's the job I could get out of law school. A guy came in for a divorce and seemed, by all accounts, really nice. He claimed that they had $50k in cash in their safe and that his wife had taken it out when she left the house. His ex wife never worked so seemed reasonable she would take the money to help pay bills, start over, etc. 6 months in though, when we were finalizing property, his true colors started to show. Refusing to let her have the toaster, arguing over giving her anything even though she hadn't worked their entire 15 year marriage, telling her she could have half of the expensive plants SHE tended to only if she came and got them herself without help.
For reference, these plants were in a green house and some weighed upwards of 100lbs each (she probably weighed 100lbs herself; extremely meek woman in her 60s). The other lawyer and I finally get everything settled except the $50k. My client says she took it, ex wife says she did initially but then put it back on the advice of her attorney. So we go to trial just on this $50k. I cross examine her elderly parents, treat them as hostile, really go all out. Up against a veteran attorney who had been doing this for 30 plus years while I was BRAND NEW, I had to show my worth.
In the end, the judge ended up declaring that the $50k was "lost money." No one, technically, wins. 1 hour later my client waltzes into the office and pays his $15k bill all in $100 bills. I just stared silently at the money while he smiled widely at me, thanked me for helping him and then left. I quit practicing law entirely 3 months later. I still think about his ex wife (who honestly seemed sweet and lovely) and hope she's okay. aworldofnonsense
Insurance Issues....
one of our cases was trying to get the lowest possible amount for a guy who while doing his job in a stationary car was hit from behind at full speed (his car was off the road the other driver was impaired) and his car was slammed into the 18 wheeler he was helping. He is forever handicapped and in a home and our job was to get him way less than he deserved... I didn't want to work insurance defense anymore after that one. quint1993
irrefutable....
GiphyI always thought it would be cool to be a lawyer until I had to pay 63K in attorney fees over the course of 2 years for custody of my daughter. Now I'm not complaining so much about the money, more so about watching her attorney try to turn a turd into a piece of gold, no matter how irrefutable the evidence against her was.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself or sleep at night defending on cases like that where I would potentially be trying to return children to drugs, abuse, neglect and etc. mienkio
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
We all have brands or companies that we might admire from afar (or at the very least via their website or catalog), but know we will likely never shop there ourselves.
For the simple reason that their products and merchandise are simply out of our price range.
As a result, we may find ourselves like Holly Golightly at Tiffany's while window shopping, but never actually making a purchase.
However, there are some brands that are so luxurious, that even catalog or window shopping is out of the question.
As they are not only luxurious but also exclusive, only a certain few even know of their existence.
Redditor Halyycon10 was curious to learn about any and all of the luxury brands that cater exclusively to the wealthiest people on earth, leading them to ask:
"What are the 'quiet' luxury brands that only the super rich know about?"
Allow Me To Take You Upstairs...
"An Italian friend arranged a visit to a Murano glass gallery."
"After the general public cleared out of the public showroom, the gallery's people took us up some stairs to the 'real deal' gallery with shelves full of breathtaking art pieces."
"We admired one vase on a shelf, but were told that it would never be offered for sale -- it was too important as part of the island's legacy & heritage."
"I think that the way we zeroed in on it somehow convinced them that we were top art dealers "'in stealth mode'."
"For the rest of the afternoon, we were treated like VIPs."
"What a day that was...."-- funhousefrankenstein
Uncharted Territory
"I work in the Luxury Travel industry."
"I know quite a few."
"Exclusive Resorts is an invite-only membership club for very high-end travel."
"They don’t post their prices online, but I know people that work there."
"They have personal cell phone numbers for people like Jeff Bezos, Waltons, and people that live at that stratospheric titan of industry level."
"Their cheapest membership package is $100,000 to join, and can run up to $250,000."
"That’s just the price to join the club."
"You have to pay for any travel you want to book on top of that."
"They have a $600M portfolio of properties they own throughout the world, that only their members have access to."
"Want to guarantee availability for a finish-line view villa in Monaco during the Grand Prix?"
"Want to get a ski-in cabin next to the Walton’s cabin in Aspen over Christmas?"
"Want a luxury penthouse in Paris during fashion week?"
"These are your guys."
"They cap their membership at 3,000 people, so you may have to wait for a long time until you can get in."
"Another interesting one: White Desert is your tour operator of choice if you want a private expedition with your buddies to the South Pole."
"Their packages can run $100,000+ per person for a private jet to their base camp on the Antarctica plateau and then another custom-build ski-plane transfer to their camp on the South Pole."- El_mochilero
GiphyNothing More Valuable Than A Good Night's Sleep...
"Duxiana."
"For people who can buy a mattress that costs as much as a car."- Hot-Dress-3369
A Perfect Fit...
"Tailors on Saville Row."
"Wealthy people get their clothes custom made."- mecyh
Nothing To Give It Away...
"I had a rich friend once tell me that Gucci is what poor people think rich people wear."
"Since then I noticed that all of her clothes fit perfect, but she never has logos on anything."- hoptownky
gucci GIFGiphyThese Boots Might NOT Be Made For Walking...
"John Lobb bootmaker in St James."
"Make beautiful handmade shoes for royalty, celebrities and rich types."
"They are well known but not a household name."- queenirv
Free For All...
"I used to be of the opinion that really wealthy people wore stuff that you wouldn't really notice, but disappointingly (having spent some time around folks with extreme wealth recently), the true answer is just: whatever the hell they like."
"If someone really liked branded gear before they were wealthy, you'd better believe they're going to be dressed like Ali G once they make it big."- AvaRCordero
Pay Up To Dress Down...
"Jeff Goldblum was on the Conan podcast and talked about where he got his jeans."
"It was from this hard-to-find shop in New York that not many people had heard of.
Come to find out, not surprisingly, their jeans are insanely expensive, and only the very rich could afford them." - Reddit
Jeans Pants GIF by Post MaloneGiphyFor All Your Million Dollar Needs...
"Buy a copy of The Robb Report magazine at a bookstore and marvel at the insane ads in the back for private jets, yacht brokers, military level trained personal protection Belgian Malinois guardian dogs, personal protection security firms staffed by former US Secret Service and retired Tier 1 operators only in their early 40s and fit with 20 years experience, and even crazier stuff."
"Pfft buying a $400 pair of jeans is pedestrian when you have Taylor Swift money and roll in 2 fully armored Escalades and are escorted on errands by a phalanx of guys in black polo shirts and jeans who have been places and done things in sandy countries that are still classified."- scots
Cruisin...
"Amels."
"They are one of the best super yacht manufacturers in the world with over 100 years of experience."- theassassintherapist
Before You Show Off That Logo...
"Almost all of the well known luxury brands have several lines. "
"The ones with logos all over them are typically the cheapest (I’m looking at you LV, Gucci) etc. which is why they’re so common."
"The same companies will have more exclusive lines that are much more expensive, usually more classic in style, and they’re not covered in logos, so you’d never know what brand they are unless you’re really into that kind of thing."
"For example, my wife wanted to buy me a nice wallet, so we went to the LV shop."
"I liked one that had no logo on the exterior of it, just simple grey leather, and it cost twice as much as the ones with 'LV' stamped all over them."- ToothbrushGames
Black Friday Christmas GIF by FOX TVGiphyPeople Go Nuts For Interior Design
"Zuber & Co."
"Crazy expensive wallpaper and room dividers/panels."
"I love old rococo and baroque things so happed to walk by their store in NYC."
"Stopped in due to the patterns and quickly realized I do in-fact NOT have thousands of dollars per ft for wallpaper."
"For example $5,000 - $30,000 per panel."- Reddit
It's About Time
"When I met my wife she worked selling high end watches."
"Talking about it on our first date I said ‘oh like Rolex and stuff?’"
"She said ‘Rolex customers are just new money, drug dealers and old men'."
"'If people contact us wanting one we just direct them to a watch shop'."
"Then rattled off a list of about 10 makers I’d never heard of which her international clients would fly here just to try on."
"I was wearing a Luminox at the time which I thought was pretty badass but all of a sudden I felt like a kid running around with that gadget from Ben 10."- StrangledByTheAux
As the saying goes, "if you have to ask, you can't afford it!"
Though it must be said, there is also absolutely NOTHING wrong with shopping for watches at a watch shop.
The human body is an amazing thing.
It is capable of far more than we ever thought possible.
When studying anatomy we really should start doing a deeper dive into all the parts of the body.
Each organ and limb has a story and function that we never really learn about.
Redditor NorthPengyyy wanted to discuss... the penis, so they asked:
"What are some fun facts about the penis?"
Don't Die
"Fun fact - the erection happens when blood enters the penis, the main "structure" of the penis hardens and expands (obviously), but by doing so it presses the Veins and blocks them. Meaning - the blood comes but doesn't go out of the organ, thus keeping it erect for too long. This is why erections over 6 hours are dangerous because the blood blockage is for too long of a time and the penis can die due to lack of oxygen. I hope it was interesting."
SoapBubble3
Outaries
"The seam on your testicle sack is where your proto vagina sealed up while you were in the womb."
melonsquared
"So testicles are just ovaries that are outaries?"
datazulu
"Literally yes. They all start as gonads in your abdomen. Girls’ gonads stay and turn into ovaries. Boy’s gonads descend and become testes. It’s why, when you take a hit to the balls, it hurts all the way back up in your stomach and can make you nauseated. Boys still have innervated back up to where the gonads first developed."
SpartySoup
SNAP!
Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy"It can break like a glow stick if it slips out while a girl is on top and slams back down on it."
Artistic_Marzipan221
De-boned
"Most animals have a 'penis bone' which allows for instant erections, however, humans do not have this bone. The cause is thought to be because without the bone, courtship, arousal, and mating is a longer affair therefore leading to increased intimacy and pair bonding. The penis is literally made for love."
nailbunny2000
Prehensile
Nat Geo Adventure GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy"An elephant's penis is prehensile, like its trunk. It can be used to pick up objects."
Sea-Woodpecker-610
How come only elephants were granted this gift?
Frozen
Polar Bears GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy"Being stressed out, exhausted, and cold makes it smaller. So the smallest penis in the world should belong to a man being chased by a polar bear in the Arctic."
Electrical_Age_336
Wait, what?
"I remember watching a weird YouTube documentary about a spider (in Australia of course) whose bite gives you a forever erection."
JMthought
It Just happens
"Just because it's erect DOES NOT mean the person is horny/aroused."
Spartan0536
"I recently learned that clenching other muscles is a good way to get rid of an erection. The bigger the muscle, the better, so clenching your butt is a good way to go. Apparently, it’s because it causes more blood to go to the clenched muscle. More blood to the muscle = less blood to the penis."
phatcat9000
"I'm quite anxious all the time. When I'm just chilling with nothing else to do, I reach a point of relaxation and I get erections, I'm not aroused or anything, I'm just chilling and it seems that my body approves of my time off I guess."
chifrijoconbirra
Be Smart
"There is a ligament at the base of the penis that causes the penis to rise when it becomes erect. This is what causes a bulge etc."
"Some people have stupidly made the decision to have this ligament cut. This is because it adds a few inches of length to the erect penis. However, it will just hang down. Do. Not. Do. This. It is a stupid thing to do."
phatcat9000
Data Entry
information GIFGiphy"A single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information. One ejaculation represents roughly a data transfer of 15,875 GB equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops."
Nijinsky_84
Well, the penis is far more interesting than we thought.
Isn't it?
Do you have any interesting tidbits to add? Let us know in the comments.
