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Lawyers Confess Which Cases They Actually Regret Winning

I sold my soul because of the law....

Lawyers are not the devil. In fact we need people of the law to make sure we're all getting a fair shake. Lawyers take an oath to uphold the constitution and law by any means necessary. Everyone is entitled to competent representation. No matter what. And often that representation may cause some issues. But the law is the law. Fair or not. Let's look further into how we fix that.

Redditor ahtemsah wanted all the lawyers reading to share some life lessons:

Lawyers, what's a case you regretted winning?

Fallen....

"I'm a work comp attorney. Now represent injured people, but used to work on other side insurance defense."

"There was an applicant with a serious injury. Fell off a ladder, busted back with fusion, shoulder screwed, years of treatment. Internal issues, psych issues - really just messed up. 50%+ permanent disability. We were 5 years in and finally getting to settlement time. If we bought out his future medical, settlement pretty far into 6 figures. This guy was the sole provider for wife and 2 kids."

"Then we found out he had a aggressive brain cancer. Expected only couple years to live, at best."

"Thus, we wouldn't buy out future medical anymore. Still got permanent disability for $60k-ish... but can't give medical buyout based on 25+ year life expectancy anymore."

"I felt terrible for the guy and his family. Me and the adjuster tried to get insurance to agree to some sort of amount like 5 year buyout, but the bean counters said hell no. The attorney knew it wasn't me making the decision. Even though he worked on that guy's file for 5+ years he decided to take $0 in fees. I have so much respect for that attorney turning down $10k+ in fees to help his client in a very crappy situation."dieabetic

Family Law Heartbreak. 

"I do family law and I represented a father who had lost most of his custody from heroin use and imprisonment as a result. He came to me saying he was clean and doing good and had his life together and it checked out. He had been clean for almost nine months not counting jail time and seemed sincere in wanting to resume a full relationship with his son. The other side fought viciously to keep him at extremely little custody and supervised at that, but we prevailed and got an order restoring fairly frequent unsupervised partial custody."

"Not long afterwards, only about three months after the case, he was back doing heroin, sold most of his furniture, and for me the most soul-crushing is that he set up a fake GoFundMe stuff for his child's "cancer" (his child didn't have cancer and has never had cancer so you know where that money was going). I withdrew my appearance at this point so I don't know what happened afterwards, but I imagine and hope his custody was taken away."

"Basically the net result of winning that case was that the poor boy had to witness his father relapse on heroin and was exploited for money. Worst case I ever won."DemonFirebrand

$5000......

"Settled a personal injury case for a guy and he was set to get about $5000. He was in jail. I held the money for a couple months and when he got out he came by to get the money without delay. The next day the cops came around and asked if I knew him. I explained that I did. I was told he died that night of an overdose and the only thing found on him was my card, some drugs he had not yet used, and a needle."lessworkiskey

You're Out! 

"Eviction law - basically every other case. Even the morons. It's not rewarding to put people out on the curb. Ever."BeattieLaw

Spoiled....

Giphy

"I got a spoiled brat of a teenager cleared of a shoplifting charge when he absolutely had done it. His rich parents hired me to represent him, I did that to the best of my ability, and we went to trial and won, but I can't say I felt good about it. This kid needed to be taught some accountability for his actions and his parents just wanted to buy their way out of any trouble he got into."unbelievablepeople

back at square one.....

"I won a summary judgment motion, that my firm filed not expecting to win. We had a decent argument, but odds were way worse than a coin flip and judges don't like granting summary judgment because it's an extreme remedy."

"Client initially was thrilled--"case is over"--we tried to break the news gently... nope. Three years later we're back in the same spot we were before we "won" our motion. The other side appealed it up to the state supreme court and won (because the Supreme Court said the trial judge should have denied our motion). So, we are back at square one. North of $100k in legal bills, with no resolution. Maybe it'll settle, maybe it will go to trial. I'll find out in the next 3-4 months."orm518

DANGER! DANGER!!

"The one I particular hated happened at my first law job. This woman was a long term client of my boss. In the past ten years or so, she has been caught driving under the influence 8 times, violated home incarceration countless times, been caught with controlled substances a few times, and stabbed two people on home incarceration. My boss at the time was the master of getting people off for DUI's so she had only been convicted of a DUI third and always managed to stay on home incarceration with whatever releases she desired. I always regretted her cases because that woman is truly a danger to the public. She's undoubtedly going to kill someone someday. But I'll be damned if she isn't the luckiest woman alive in getting away with DUIs."EssenceOfEspresso

Define "Win!"

"Family law is a little different in that you never really "win" per se. You may get more favorable rulings or better terms, but unless the opposing party did something illegal or mindbogglingly stupid it's never a decisive "win" really. Although I did have a case where my client fought really hard for the dog, and then ended up turning him over to a shelter. The ex wife received an "anonymous" tip and was able to get him back quickly."WholeMilkStandard

Plot Twist....

Giphy

"I convicted the father of murdering his wife and years later found out he lied when he confessed to cover for his teenage son who actually been the one who killed her. In the meanwhile the son committed suicide father was content to serve his time in prison."curiousidaho

(Personal Protective Order)

"Not my case, but a former associate of mine won a PPO motion hearing (Personal Protective Order) where he represented the person who the order would have been put against (not the victim). The victim's request to put a PPO on his client was denied, and like 2 months later the victim ended up getting put into the hospital by the client (he beat her). That one still bothers him."davonoches

I'm Out.

Giphy

"Guy lost his wife and children in a car accident. He wanted to exercise to get his emotions and mental health back in check. Doctor wrote him recommendations for exercise equipment (ball, chin up bar, nothing crazy) and he submitted the expenses for same to his insurer."

"Client (insurer/adjuster) wanted this fought tooth and nail because exercise equipment was only covered for physical rehab and he was not physically injured."

"I do not practice in this area anymore."ChipSmash

Climb the Pole. 

"I wouldn't say I regret this so much as to this day it amazes me. As a first year associate I was given a (terrible) PI case where my client received a flu shot and thereafter felt pain in his shoulder. He went to another doctor who performed an MRI and determined he had a torn rotator cuff, which was undoubtedly not related. My job was to allege the flu shot caused the rotator cuff tear. Our ortho actually correlated the two (which is the more regrettable position) and the case paid out."

"Being the bottom of the totem pole I had no choice but to take the case, which was handed down by a partner. But at the same time, just overwhelmingly made me feel like the worst stereotyped attorney and just hated having to walk into court on it and feel my reputation being destroyed."ezkwyer

By Default...

"I do juvenile work, criminal law and family law..."

"I represented this client first when he was a juvenile charged with disorderly conduct at school and fighting, then when he became an adult it for was for simple things like possession of marijuana."

"As he got older, it became easier and easier to figure out what part of his life hasn't gone as well as it could and I tried to counsel him and push him to better himself."

"He got his GED, he started going to NA, he started classes at a community college, and found a part time job."

"On the night of his 21st birthday, he was charged with a DWI. Of course I'll take care of that too."

"About 6 months later, we are due in court for trial (on a Monday) and he doesn't show up; which at this point in his life is highly unusual."

"As I'm trying to figure out where he is, the court starts going over Arraignments/First Appearances and then low and behold three people are up for Murder charges. The prosecution starts to tell the judge what the facts/circumstances of the case are and mentions a few victims names."

"Apparently, my client was at a party when these three individuals decided to allegedly do a drive by shooting. My client suffered multiple gunshot wounds and didn't make it to the hospital."

"So... by default, as you can't prosecute a dead person; the State has to take a dismissal. I guess technically a win."

"Either way, it was crushing to me as I thought he had really turned his life around."phitheta219

"blue collar lotto" 

"As a personal injury attorney, I've seen a few clients win the "blue collar lotto" or getting more money than they reasonably know how to deal with. I do my best to educate them, but my job is to try and maximize their recovery, not teach them finance. I have definitely contributed to a few drug habits." Uncivil_Law

No Lessons Learned....

Giphy

"In one of my first cases after passing the bar exam, a young man retained me on a drunk driving charge. No one was hurt, but he totaled his car."

"During trial, the arresting police officer testified that my client was clearly drunk at the accident scene, and that my client was loudly blaming the accident on the ahole who stole his car, crashed it, and then fled before the cops arrived."

"However, according to two other witness statements tendered into evidence, it was my client's friend (the passenger) who was screaming about who stole the car, not my client (the driver)."

"The cop must have confused the two men during his testimony."

"This discrepancy raised a reasonable doubt in the judge's mind, so she acquitted my client."

"At the time, the acquittal was somewhat unexpected for me (in my personal view, my client was clearly drunk and responsible for the accident, regardless of who was blaming the mystery asshole to the cops), but I was happy my young client got off, no one was hurt, and lessons were learned. And I was quite euphoric to have won my first criminal case."

"The regret? About a month after the acquittal, my young client called me at 3 am from the police station saying "it's me again! The police arrested me for drunk driving again! Can you help me?"

"Not only did I answer no, I instantly regretted getting the earlier acquittal. My client apparently didn't learn any lessons." Horrified_Witness

"I work in medical malpractice defense. Once I had a obstetrician/gynecologist who burned a patient during a procedure. When I met with the doctor, he lied to me throughout the representation over 16 months saying he had no idea how it happened. There is a doctrine in law called "res ipsa" meaning absent some sort of negligence, this accident could not have occurred."

The Burn. 

"Woman came in without a burn, and after the procedure, the woman left with a burn. There's no way this doctor didn't know what had happened. The area of the burn was where he was operating on. It wasn't until I brought up settlement, because this was not a case we could win did he say, "oh maybe I do know what happened." We ultimately settled that case, which is considered a favorable outcome considering the potential high monetary verdict. Sometimes I think this doctor really ought to have lost that case and their license."mclarenf1boi

Criminal defense is a hard business.

"Had this happen to me twice. Got my client out on bail only to thereafter have him up and killed. First time, he was in building supposedly selling, got chased by the police and a struggle ensued where he was shot point blank in the head. Mother told me that it was my fault that he was killed and that i was working with the DA and the police."

"Second time, a young man no more then 16 gets released while waiting trial on robbery. One of the conditions of release was that he maintain a curfew. That very night he breaks curfew goes over to somebody else's house and was killed in a drug Related robbery. Mother blamed me and said that the devil was working through me that we were all demons."

"Criminal defense is a hard business."Armtoe

 "stop suddenly"

"Little late to the party, but I've got one I still think about a lot. Worked in criminal defense, represented a guy in a DUI. He had priors, so another convocation meant time, loss of license, problems. Long story short, he was pulled over by police after they followed him leaving a bar. At trial I elicited admissions from the arresting officer that during the 2.5 miles he followed him for, he did not observe a single moving violation - no speeding, erratic driving, driving over the lines, blowing stop signs, running red lights."

"Didn't even "stop suddenly" at red lights. Also got the DRE officer to testify that the accused only spoke Spanish and they couldn't get an interpreter officer to the roadside to explain the field sobriety exercises, which the officers documented the accused "refused to perform." Jury came back in 15 minutes. Guy was extremely grateful, and his lovely family was very gracious in thanking me and our office. Feel good about the whole thing."

"Couple months later I'm in county to meet with a client, and I see him in one of the pods. Find out sometime after the trial he violently assaulted his 8 year old step-daughter."

"Think about that one a lot." MakeBelieveNotWar

Fee Shifting?

"There was a case that I saw that involved a claim with fee shifting - meaning that if the plaintiff won, their attorneys' fees would get paid by the defendant. Defendant pushed an aggressive legal position at trial that the judge agreed with, and won, avoiding a few thousand in liability to the plaintiff and a few thousand in attorneys's fees. So far so good. But then the plaintiff appeals all the way to the state's high court, requiring a ton of briefing and time. High court agrees with plaintiff, reverses and sends back to the trial court, which now enters judgement against the defendant for a few thousand in damages against the plaintiff and tens and tens of thousands of dollars in attorneys' fees from the appeal. The defense lawyer probably regretted winning at first on that aggressive argument to the trial court."dotajoedotajoe

Gross Dad.

Giphy

"Did a divorce where the husband (who I was representing) wanted to trade custody of his children for a set of bedroom furniture."

"The bedroom furniture was not even like a family heirloom. It was furniture that you could probably get at a Rooms-to-Go or something."

"Ugh, still makes me ill. That's why I got out of family law." mintrawr

These were some interesting stories! Do you have similar experiences to share about the law? Let us know in the comments.

People Reveal The Most Shocking Secrets Someone's Ever Told Them

One Redditor asked: 'What's the most shocking secret someone has revealed to you?'

Woman shushing camera by putting a finger to her lips
Kristina Flour/Unsplash

CW: addiction, death, abuse.

Everyone has secrets they'll take with them to their graves.

But some clandestine info is so hard to contain, that it can cause stress and anxiety until some of the pressure is alleviated.

You might be the person who was sworn to secrecy to share some of that burden.

But are you to be trusted to aid your secret-sharer in keeping their secrets?

Curious to hear from strangers online who have a tough time keeping some of the most jaw-dropping intel to themselves, Redditor HardDeep69420 asked:

"What's the most shocking secret someone has revealed to you?"

Knowing that a friend or family has suffered has haunted these Redditors.

A Painful Truth

"In the 70’s, my cousin died in a car crash that caught fire. I was very afraid that he was awake and felt the fire. My parents said he died immediately and didn’t suffer. My mother was on hospice at home in 2011. She told me the firemen were trying to open the doors and My cousin and the other teens were screaming for help when the cars caught fire. There were no survivors and my Aunt was never the same. It wasn’t until after his death that the jaws of life were distributed to our rural departments."

– Tkay906363

A Tough Call

"When I was 11 I had a friend reveal that her stepmother was abusing her... she made me promise not to say anything to my mom or any other adult. I agreed, we had weekly therapy sessions with a guidance counselor if you wanted it so it was my day to go and I just felt like I needed to tell… so I did. The counselor ended up reporting it and CPS got involved and my friend was made to live with her mother. She was so angry at me for telling but I felt it in my soul that I should. We are still friends to this day.. both of us 29 years old."

– SubstantialLove8330

"Sometimes you have to decide between your friend and your friendship. It sounds like you made the right choice."

– ALawful_Chaos

The Evil Of Addiction

"That he watched his son die of an overdose and didn’t do anything to help. He told me that his son had battled addictions for many years and that he had called an ambulance in the past when his son had overdosed, but that he thought it was better this time to 'just let him go since he made his choice.'"

– Ok-Associate-7894

The Ex And Her Health Issue

"I had an old girlfriend who was coming to Florida and wanted to hang out with me and my wife, she brought her mom, who I knew pretty well. A great dinner, drinks, fun stories, then when my ex went to the bathroom, the mom told me she (the ex) was dying of cancer. (I had No idea). It was sad, but yet felt so good she wanted to hang out. She died within a year. We were probably 35 years old at the time."

– waistingtoomuchtime

"You know..people will read this and grasp the sadness of the end but, on the other hand, your ex reached out and wanted to share some of her remaining time with you ..and your wife...clearly, your time together was special to her regardless of how it ended. You still had a warm place in her heart for you. That's actually quite awesome. I know you know that. Your wife is very lucky."

– Impressive-Doughnut7

Life will never be the same after Redditors found out about these long-hidden family secrets.

What The Fork?!

"When I was 16, my Mom announced at dinner that her sister was coming for a visit next week. I dropped my fork and said 'YOU HAVE A SISTER?'”

–Initial_lampwick115

"I had this: age 11 driving up to Scotland with my parents and we stopped off at a tiny town, walked into the big hotel, then got introduced to my uncle. My mum's brother. Hadn't existed before then and only came out of the woodwork because my grandpa died shortly before (they didn't get on). It was a weird shock but also an 'OK cool, life goes on' moment."

– slinkychameleon

Extended Family

"I'm 56 now but at some point in my early 40s while driving with my dad he says 'you have a half brother somewhere.'"

– ridobe

"My dad pulled this sh*t on me when I went to my grandfather's celebration of life. Picked me up from the train station, asked me if I knew about his new wife (I did) and their daughter, born six years before my mom died of cancer (they never divorced). Then had the guts to follow it up with a request to FaceTime them that night because they wanted to meet me, because "[he] never kept his family a secret... from them." It took a while for me to get over that."

– toujourspret

Invisible Husband

"I found out my mother and father were not divorced. He never existed. She had a one-night stand, found out she was pregnant, bought a wedding ring, changed her name, and told the family that she had gotten married. She made up excuses every time she went to my grandparent's house as to why her husband couldn’t also be there to meet them. On the 3rd visit, my grandfather told her never to wear that ring in his house again and when is the baby due? I’m 53."

– Traditional_Jicama72

Why The Nun Made Weekly Visits

"I found out my parents weren't married when I was 14, and my parents had a massive row after my dad was caught by the police with a sex worker. My mum blurted it out to me along with the reason why they were arguing. I'm 50. Up til then, they pretended.. when my Catholic secondary school asked for a marriage certificate as part of my screening for the school, they sent a letter to the priest confidentially... I still got in. Explains why from birth until 11, a Catholic nun would visit my parents every weekend, probably to ensure my soul was intact, lol."

– PidginPigeonHole

Things get sinister.

A Murder Confession

"Casually dropped they’d killed someone then got really quiet about it. Like, sad quiet. Sounds like there was a case surrounding the ordeal but could never get them to talk about it more and I didn’t want to push."

– lil-kingtrashm0uth

Dodging A Bullet

"My ex casual dropped he killed someone also. He was a lot more loud about it when he was upset with me though. 'I’ve killed for less'. I know the whole story, or both of them. The one he tells people, and the one he told me. Either way. He’s a scary man, and I would never wish to be near him again."

– Skyecatcher

One of the hardest positions to be in is when a friend tells you that they've cheated on their significant other, whom you also know.

This happened to me.

Keeping the privileged information was agonizing as I feigned ignorance whenever I hung out with the couple or with the person who had been cheated on.

Eventually, the pair broke up as the affair came to light through no involvement by me.

The truth always has a way of surfacing, after all.

Would you rely on that to happen, or would you intervene?

When is it okay to betray the person who entrusted you with their secret?

We all have brands or companies that we might admire from afar (or at the very least via their website or catalog), but know we will likely never shop there ourselves.

For the simple reason that their products and merchandise are simply out of our price range.

As a result, we may find ourselves like Holly Golightly at Tiffany's while window shopping, but never actually making a purchase.

However, there are some brands that are so luxurious, that even catalog or window shopping is out of the question.

As they are not only luxurious but also exclusive, only a certain few even know of their existence.

Redditor Halyycon10 was curious to learn about any and all of the luxury brands that cater exclusively to the wealthiest people on earth, leading them to ask:

"What are the 'quiet' luxury brands that only the super rich know about?"

Allow Me To Take You Upstairs...

"An Italian friend arranged a visit to a Murano glass gallery."

"After the general public cleared out of the public showroom, the gallery's people took us up some stairs to the 'real deal' gallery with shelves full of breathtaking art pieces."

"We admired one vase on a shelf, but were told that it would never be offered for sale -- it was too important as part of the island's legacy & heritage."

"I think that the way we zeroed in on it somehow convinced them that we were top art dealers "'in stealth mode'."

"For the rest of the afternoon, we were treated like VIPs."

"What a day that was...."-- funhousefrankenstein

Uncharted Territory

"I work in the Luxury Travel industry."

"I know quite a few."

"Exclusive Resorts is an invite-only membership club for very high-end travel."

"They don’t post their prices online, but I know people that work there."

"They have personal cell phone numbers for people like Jeff Bezos, Waltons, and people that live at that stratospheric titan of industry level."

"Their cheapest membership package is $100,000 to join, and can run up to $250,000."

"That’s just the price to join the club."

"You have to pay for any travel you want to book on top of that."

"They have a $600M portfolio of properties they own throughout the world, that only their members have access to."

"Want to guarantee availability for a finish-line view villa in Monaco during the Grand Prix?"

"Want to get a ski-in cabin next to the Walton’s cabin in Aspen over Christmas?"

"Want a luxury penthouse in Paris during fashion week?"

"These are your guys."

"They cap their membership at 3,000 people, so you may have to wait for a long time until you can get in."

"Another interesting one: White Desert is your tour operator of choice if you want a private expedition with your buddies to the South Pole."

"Their packages can run $100,000+ per person for a private jet to their base camp on the Antarctica plateau and then another custom-build ski-plane transfer to their camp on the South Pole."- El_mochilero

Giphy

Nothing More Valuable Than A Good Night's Sleep...

"Duxiana."

"For people who can buy a mattress that costs as much as a car."- Hot-Dress-3369

A Perfect Fit...

"Tailors on Saville Row."

"Wealthy people get their clothes custom made."- mecyh

Nothing To Give It Away...

"I had a rich friend once tell me that Gucci is what poor people think rich people wear."

"Since then I noticed that all of her clothes fit perfect, but she never has logos on anything."- hoptownky

gucci GIFGiphy

These Boots Might NOT Be Made For Walking...

"John Lobb bootmaker in St James."

"Make beautiful handmade shoes for royalty, celebrities and rich types."

"They are well known but not a household name."- queenirv

Free For All...

"I used to be of the opinion that really wealthy people wore stuff that you wouldn't really notice, but disappointingly (having spent some time around folks with extreme wealth recently), the true answer is just: whatever the hell they like."

"If someone really liked branded gear before they were wealthy, you'd better believe they're going to be dressed like Ali G once they make it big."- AvaRCordero

Pay Up To Dress Down...

"Jeff Goldblum was on the Conan podcast and talked about where he got his jeans."

"It was from this hard-to-find shop in New York that not many people had heard of.

Come to find out, not surprisingly, their jeans are insanely expensive, and only the very rich could afford them." - Reddit

Jeans Pants GIF by Post MaloneGiphy

For All Your Million Dollar Needs...

"Buy a copy of The Robb Report magazine at a bookstore and marvel at the insane ads in the back for private jets, yacht brokers, military level trained personal protection Belgian Malinois guardian dogs, personal protection security firms staffed by former US Secret Service and retired Tier 1 operators only in their early 40s and fit with 20 years experience, and even crazier stuff."

"Pfft buying a $400 pair of jeans is pedestrian when you have Taylor Swift money and roll in 2 fully armored Escalades and are escorted on errands by a phalanx of guys in black polo shirts and jeans who have been places and done things in sandy countries that are still classified."- scots

Cruisin...

"Amels."

"They are one of the best super yacht manufacturers in the world with over 100 years of experience."- theassassintherapist

Before You Show Off That Logo...

"Almost all of the well known luxury brands have several lines. "

"The ones with logos all over them are typically the cheapest (I’m looking at you LV, Gucci) etc. which is why they’re so common."

"The same companies will have more exclusive lines that are much more expensive, usually more classic in style, and they’re not covered in logos, so you’d never know what brand they are unless you’re really into that kind of thing."

"For example, my wife wanted to buy me a nice wallet, so we went to the LV shop."

"I liked one that had no logo on the exterior of it, just simple grey leather, and it cost twice as much as the ones with 'LV' stamped all over them."- ToothbrushGames

Black Friday Christmas GIF by FOX TVGiphy

People Go Nuts For Interior Design

"Zuber & Co."

"Crazy expensive wallpaper and room dividers/panels."

"I love old rococo and baroque things so happed to walk by their store in NYC."

"Stopped in due to the patterns and quickly realized I do in-fact NOT have thousands of dollars per ft for wallpaper."

"For example $5,000 - $30,000 per panel."- Reddit

It's About Time

"When I met my wife she worked selling high end watches."

"Talking about it on our first date I said ‘oh like Rolex and stuff?’"

"She said ‘Rolex customers are just new money, drug dealers and old men'."

"'If people contact us wanting one we just direct them to a watch shop'."

"Then rattled off a list of about 10 makers I’d never heard of which her international clients would fly here just to try on."

"I was wearing a Luminox at the time which I thought was pretty badass but all of a sudden I felt like a kid running around with that gadget from Ben 10."- StrangledByTheAux

As the saying goes, "if you have to ask, you can't afford it!"

Though it must be said, there is also absolutely NOTHING wrong with shopping for watches at a watch shop.


A cucumber, sits along side measuring tape.
Photo by charlesdeluvio

The human body is an amazing thing.

It is capable of far more than we ever thought possible.

When studying anatomy we really should start doing a deeper dive into all the parts of the body.

Each organ and limb has a story and function that we never really learn about.

Redditor NorthPengyyy wanted to discuss... the penis, so they asked:

"What are some fun facts about the penis?"

Don't Die

"Fun fact - the erection happens when blood enters the penis, the main "structure" of the penis hardens and expands (obviously), but by doing so it presses the Veins and blocks them. Meaning - the blood comes but doesn't go out of the organ, thus keeping it erect for too long. This is why erections over 6 hours are dangerous because the blood blockage is for too long of a time and the penis can die due to lack of oxygen. I hope it was interesting."

SoapBubble3

Outaries

"The seam on your testicle sack is where your proto vagina sealed up while you were in the womb."

melonsquared

"So testicles are just ovaries that are outaries?"

datazulu

"Literally yes. They all start as gonads in your abdomen. Girls’ gonads stay and turn into ovaries. Boy’s gonads descend and become testes. It’s why, when you take a hit to the balls, it hurts all the way back up in your stomach and can make you nauseated. Boys still have innervated back up to where the gonads first developed."

SpartySoup

SNAP!

Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy

"It can break like a glow stick if it slips out while a girl is on top and slams back down on it."

Artistic_Marzipan221

De-boned

"Most animals have a 'penis bone' which allows for instant erections, however, humans do not have this bone. The cause is thought to be because without the bone, courtship, arousal, and mating is a longer affair therefore leading to increased intimacy and pair bonding. The penis is literally made for love."

nailbunny2000

Prehensile

Nat Geo Adventure GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy

"An elephant's penis is prehensile, like its trunk. It can be used to pick up objects."

Sea-Woodpecker-610

How come only elephants were granted this gift?

Frozen

Polar Bears GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy

"Being stressed out, exhausted, and cold makes it smaller. So the smallest penis in the world should belong to a man being chased by a polar bear in the Arctic."

Electrical_Age_336

Wait, what?

"I remember watching a weird YouTube documentary about a spider (in Australia of course) whose bite gives you a forever erection."

JMthought

It Just happens

"Just because it's erect DOES NOT mean the person is horny/aroused."

Spartan0536

"I recently learned that clenching other muscles is a good way to get rid of an erection. The bigger the muscle, the better, so clenching your butt is a good way to go. Apparently, it’s because it causes more blood to go to the clenched muscle. More blood to the muscle = less blood to the penis."

phatcat9000

"I'm quite anxious all the time. When I'm just chilling with nothing else to do, I reach a point of relaxation and I get erections, I'm not aroused or anything, I'm just chilling and it seems that my body approves of my time off I guess."

chifrijoconbirra

Be Smart

"There is a ligament at the base of the penis that causes the penis to rise when it becomes erect. This is what causes a bulge etc."

"Some people have stupidly made the decision to have this ligament cut. This is because it adds a few inches of length to the erect penis. However, it will just hang down. Do. Not. Do. This. It is a stupid thing to do."

phatcat9000

Data Entry

information GIFGiphy

"A single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information. One ejaculation represents roughly a data transfer of 15,875 GB equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops."

Nijinsky_84

Well, the penis is far more interesting than we thought.

Isn't it?

Do you have any interesting tidbits to add? Let us know in the comments.

man in car holding a lot of American money

Brock Wegner on Unsplash

"I work all night, I work all day to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain't it sad?
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That's too bad"~ "Money, Money, Money" ABBA

Money is either the root of all evil or the key to happiness, largely depending on whether you have any.

So how do people with money get it? One method is a job that pays the bills.

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