Ideally, lawyers would like to see the cases they take on through to the end. Ideally, things don't get too messy, but they're bound to get messy, because nothing is simple when you're dealing with courts and the legal bureaucracy. Things get significantly more complicated when they're dealing with clients who won't listen to or abide by their advice.
After Redditor MeLikeFood10 asked the online community, "Lawyers of Reddit, is there a time when you said, 'F*** it, you're on your own!' to a client?" people shared stories about the clients whose cases they had to abandon.
"So one time, I was appointed..."
So one time I was appointed to represent a guy who was having a trial for adjudication in a dependency case. He wasn't at fault for the removal of his children and was f****** pissed off that he had to be party to the case (it's the law), so he's yelled at me for several weeks about this and I've simply said "I can't do s*** about it man it's the law." So he threatens to fire me and I say go for it. He rescinds. Repeat. This happens a few times.
So we get to court and the judge comes in and says any issues to go over before we start?
My guy stands up and says, "I want to fire my lawyer because he's not gonna help me!"
The judge looks at me and asks if that's true and I said, "No, Mr. X is angry that he's a party to this case because Ms. X is the offender. He doesn't believe me when I say that it's simply the law."
Judge asks him and he agrees and says he doesn't think he can trust me to represent his interests.
So the judge lets me go, I close my folio and hand him the file, ask to be withdrawn, it's granted, and I turn and head for the door. As I'm walking out the judge says, "Ok Mr. X, who's your first witness?"
X gets mad and yells about needing an attorney to which the judge replies, "You're allowed appointed counsel and you fired him, we're still going forward. Who's the first witness?"
I couldn't see it but I know that I was smiling in 5D.
Can't blame this lawyer.
That's a brilliant story––with some excellent comeuppance!
"He insisted it would be simple..."
I had a client come to me to do his will. He insisted it would be simple because he never married or had kids. I met with him as usual and went through everything he needed in his will and I explained my hourly rate and how long a will usually took to draft and sign. He came back in a few weeks, signed his will, happily paid his bill, and left.
I should point out two things at this point: 1) this guy was very rich and 2) he could not name a single friend who he trusted to be a backup executor.
As soon as he got home he immediately wrote a long ranting email to my boss. He claimed he had been massively overcharged for his will. He said he had only spent half an hour in my office so he should only have to pay for half an hour and that there was no reason he should be paying for my time. He would go to the law society etc. etc.
My boss called him and told him to bring in all of his will and power of attorney documents and he would issue him a refund.
The conversation went like this:
Boss: I don't have time to deal with petty garbage like this. This is a document stating that you are willingly destroying your will and POAs. Sign it and I'll give you this check for all your fees back.
Client: This isn't a petty issue to me.
Boss: This is a petty issue to everybody.
Client: I'll tell all my friends and family never to work with you.
Boss: Good. I don't want to work with your friends, I don't want to work with your family, I don't want to work with anyone who cares what you think of me. Luckily, I don't think that will be a problem. Go find another lawyer.
So the guy signed the document and my boss dragged the shredder out into the middle of the lobby and shredded all of his documents in front of him and then went back to his office. The guy slunk out and never contacted us again.
"Keep in mind..."
I generally only handle serious injury and wrongful death cases. I have told dozens of clients to pack their bags once I determine they lied to me about what happened. Most of these liars admitted it to me in a way that indicated they thought the entire process was a game of be-the-best-liar: "They're gonna lie, so I'm gonna lie."
You never, ever, no matter the weather, ever ever want a serious injury client with a credibility problem. We regularly put 6 figures in expenses and time into these cases and I'm not about to do that if we have a liar for a client.
Keep in mind, I am talking about lying about important facts, and not the "this is what I remember," when it turns out inconsistent with the physical evidence. I'm not talking about "I didn't mention this yesterday because I was embarrassed." I'm not even talking about "I didn't tell you I have been double filling my oxygen script (this was a decade ago, can't do that anymore) because I knew it was wrong." Just lies about what happened.
"Dad never did."
I had a custody case one time where I was representing the mother pro bono. The lawyer on the other side was representing the father pro bono as well. And let me tell you about these two. Mother was in her early 20s and her income was from a part-time job at Walmart and government benefits. She never finished school and live at her dad's house who himself was not working and living off the government dime. She was missing half her teeth and her overall hygiene was horrendous. After meeting her it blew my mind that someone would feel comfortable enough to have unprotected sex with her.
Until I met the father. He was also in his early 20s and didn't finish school. He had a marked speech impediment. Mom told me he has some kind of mental health diagnosis with the word "explosive" in it and described how violent he could be. He was certainly no looker. For income, he too was on government assistance, but his Facebook was replete with get rich quick schemes which clearly never panned out. He was alleged to be selling marijuana as well to supplement his income.
Well, dad has other kids with other women in other parts of the state. And he is WAY behind on child support payments. So he gets scheduled for a contempt hearing for failure to pay. He asks his pro bono custody lawyer about the contempt hearing, and the lawyer reminds him that he's only his custody lawyer and that he doesn't represent him in any other matters. So the day of the hearing comes and dad goes to court without a lawyer. It doesn't go well for him so he decides to blast his custody lawyer on Facebook for "screwing him over" in his support case. He also decided to call his lawyer afterward to b!tch him out but the lawyer wasn't in the office so he spoke to the lawyer's secretary.
We were scheduled for a custody trial the next day, it had been on the books for months. I get a call from dad's lawyer stating he's filing an emergency motion to withdraw and postpone the trial and was seeking my concurrence on the motion. Apparently, dad threatened to kill his lawyer's secretary during his rant to her.
We have an emergency hearing that afternoon with the judge and Dad's attorney tells the judge what happened. I tell the judge I have absolutely no objection to his lawyer withdrawing. Motion granted, trial rescheduled for 3 months later.
I don't know what was said to dad by his lawyer, but I hope it was "F*** you, you are on your own."
PS three months later he didn't show up for his rescheduled custody trial because he was again behind on child support, this time in another county, and they threw him in jail. I told the judge that's why dad wasn't there and the judge wanted to reschedule the trial. I reminded the judge about what happened three months prior and the judge changed his mind, he dismissed the custody case (which kept the kid with mom which is what she wanted) but in his dismissal order said dad had 30 days after he was released from jail to request a custody trial. Dad never did.
This was a JOURNEY.
People like this exist, sad to say. Our condolences to anyone who has to deal with them.
"My most recent one was a favor..."
My most recent one was a favor for a friend. I agreed to take on his buddy's case - immigration law/deportation case - had a call with the guy told him I would send him the retainer via email. Sent him multiple emails/left voicemail and the guy never responds. I'm thinking he got another lawyer - fast forward six months and we're both at the mutual friend's house for a bbq. He comes up to me to ask me what the status of his case is. So again I tell him he needs to sign the paperwork and respond to my emails, we need to set up some time to talk etc. I haven't heard from the guy since. His daughter sent me an email a couple of weeks ago to see how her dad's case is going. I'm not going to magically put together a case for him out of thin air - f*** it, he's on his own.
Sorry, dude. Better luck next time.
Our office represented a man with a very implausible story that he wanted to use as a defense to his drugged driving charges. He proceeded to miss court several times and show up apparently intoxicated. This dragged on forever as he was marked on to the trial calendar, then took a deal for a few months of probation with the possibility of having a clean record if he succeeded. At the last court appearance, it wound up being unclear if he had met all the requirements or not. While I was in the middle of arguing with the judge that he should get the benefit of the deal, he got frustrated and said he wanted to fire me because we had never told his side of the story. He proceeded to tell his ridiculous story to the judge, who proceeded to tell him it was completely unbelievable and sentenced him to three years of probation with a criminal conviction.
Normally I would try to stop a client from saying stupid stuff, but sometimes I let them because it insulates me from them later making a claim that I didn't make the arguments they wanted me to.
This sounds like a good strategy.
Some people will simply dig a hole for themselves.
"Client wanted me to lie..."
Sure. Client wanted me to lie to get an unfair economic advantage, and that's against the deontological code where I practice.
I didn't say "f*** it" but I told him to go to a different lawyer. In my jurisdiction, you can drop a client whenever and for whatever reason, you just have to make sure he has the necessary legal assistance in the immediate future if there are deadlines or hearings upcoming.
Yes. A client, after I specifically told him not to, farted on my leg in the middle of court. He got 10 years and got out in 8 for good behavior.
He should have listened.
Easier said than done, though.
"I first provided a detailed estimate..."
I sent numerous detailed letters explaining that this is not an overnight deal, that litigation takes time. I first provided a detailed estimate of how long this would take based on my lengthy experience. When the court set a formal schedule, I sent another letter saying (in very professional and diplomatic terms) "see? My estimate of how long this will take was spot on - here's an order from the judge setting the same schedule I predicted."
Regardless, I kept getting phone calls all the time asking "is it settled yet? Is it settled YET?!" and offering suggestions that, well, these suggestions were so ridiculous that if they had come from a young associate attorney, I'd have to wonder if I could continue to employ that attorney.
The last straw was in yet another of those "Is it settled yet? Why isn't it settled yet? Let me give you some suggestions about how to settle this" calls when I got a "You do know what you're doing, right? This isn't your first case is it?!"
I prepared a sternly worded but quite diplomatic and professional letter saying, "You either need to shut the f*** up and listen to me or you need to f*** off and find someone else."
...sometimes you just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's the only way some people learn.
"I have let clients go..."
A client can be "fired" for many different reasons depending on the jurisdiction. I have let clients go if they are committing crimes WHILE I am representing them.
We don't envy the lawyers who've had to deal with clients like these.
Unfortunately, these are the types of people who try to bog down the court system and make dealing with it such an unpleasant experience.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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For the most part, survival tips have been taught to us from a young age. We know to call 911 if there's an emergency and to put pressure on a bleeding wound. Boy Scouts know to be always prepared. Hikers know to conserve water, campers know how to build a fire, and anyone who spends a great deal of time outdoors knows how to locate shelter.
However, those skills are pretty basic. If you get into real trouble, you'll need more specific survival skills in order to get yourself out of trouble.
Some people can give you survival tips that can mean the difference between life and death. Others may give you tips that seem to make sense, but will probably only lead to death. It can be a great skill to learn the difference.
That's probably the thought process that led Redditor scarredforlife164 to ask:
"What "survival tips" would probably get you killed?"
Not All Meat Is Safe To Eat
"Saw this on a survival show:
“If you find a dead animal and it’s fairly fresh (flies haven’t set in) its relatively safe to eat because a. It’s fresh b. Nothing has had a chance to spread disease to it by eating.”
"Problem is that if you can’t see a visible reason for death, it’s probably disease that killed the damn thing and you’re about to eat it."
"A girl on Naked and Afraid 40 days quoted the survivalist that said this shortly after finding a bird on the ground of the jungle she was in. The bird was fresh, still warm, flexible etc, just dead."
"She ended up contracting avian tuberculosis, which is apparently really hard to do if you’re not a bird"
"This is why my parents always told me to not even touch dead animals (exemption: our pets, but we knew why they died). I can't believe that anyone would just eat some random dead animal."
The Shock Won't Save You
"Had a coworker try and tell me once the best way to disarm a guy pointing a handgun at your face was to quickly slap his hand holding the pistol because it would "shock him into dropping it". I've never tested the theory but I'm willing to bet any shock would just as likely cause that trigger finger to clench as well."
The Importance of Water
"Conserving all of your water. If you’re thirsty, drink!"
"Not drinking your water when lost and thirsty because you're almost out of water. There are lots of people found with water left who were fully dehydrated but to scared to run out of water"
Don't Let Him Catch Up To You!
"run in a zig zag away from crocodiles, it just tires you out"
Never Arm You Opponent
"Throwing knives were a thing when I was in the Army. If you have a knife and your opponent does not, don’t give it to him or her."
"The enemy cannot push a button...if you disable his hand."
Report It Right Away
"that you have to wait a certain amount of time before reporting someone missing. no, the second someone is missing, report it"
No Bear Is One Color
"If its black fight back, if its brown lay down. Brown bears can be black and black bears can be brown"
Run, Run As Fast As You Can
"Any “learn to fight in a weekend” martial arts tips. Step one: run like a mother f*cker."
Don't Drink Cactus Juice
"DO NOT DRINK WATER FROM A CATUS WHEN YOU’RE THIRSTY IN THE DESERT. IT IS PROBABLY GOING TO KILL YOU BEFORE DEHYDRATION DOES."
"DO NOT lay in a roadside ditch or hide under a bridge during a tornado."
"There's a good chance the tornado will flip your car on top of you in the ditch."
"Under the bridge will turn into a wind tunnel, accelerating the debris that will rip your body to shreds."
Did you learn something? I certainly didn't know black bears could be brown and brown bears could be black. Of course, I prefer not to need to know anything about bears at all!
Survival tips are certainly important to know. Just make sure whatever tips you get are from a reputable source.
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There are certain things you should not be skimpy about when it comes time to buy them. For example: toiletries. Why in the world would you want to use somebody else's toothbrush? A used toothbrush, we should underscore.
You'd run away screaming if you saw a used one sitting on a shelf at Goodwill, wouldn't you? Of course you would. You would immediately go to the pharmacy and pick up a brand new one, like a smart person.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Idkewokorsomthing asked the online community:
"What is the one thing you should always buy new?"
"Once it's been in an accident..."
"Bike helmets. Once it’s been in an accident or even just dropped, the foam is compressed and won’t protect you as much."
This is very true! Do not ever use a helmet that's already sustained an accident. It could be as bad as not wearing one at all.
"Fire chief in my town once said a ladder truck. He wouldn’t ask anyone to climb a used ladder. A used tanker or ambulance maybe."
Don't those things have maintenance and inspection protocols in place? I would certainly hope so.
"Hard drives and flash memory..."
"Any sort of computer storage."
"Hard drives and flash memory used in solid state drives and flash drives wears down over time. The more you read and write to it, the more it wears down. If you buy used, you don't know what that storage was used for, how often, or how heavily. It could last you years to come or die the next day."
Considering the lifetime of SSDs, it's kinda okay. There is almost no way to break one, and the cell life time is good, and controllers help protecting them from wear leveling.
For HDDs though, buying used drives is a bad idea.
"It's one thing..."
"Fabric furniture. It’s one thing to by your friends couch, but you have no idea what was going on with that sofa sitting in goodwill."
Bedbugs are terrifying. Trust me, you never want to deal with them.
"Wicker furniture. Though really, you shouldn't buy that type of furniture at all. It's the perfect nesting space for bugs."
See?! What did I tell you?! Don't do it!
"You can't use them..."
"Oh, and baby car seats. You can't use them after a car accident and buying secondhand means you can't always verify that it hasn't been in one."
I would certainly hope that people aren't still using them after accidents. That's just asking for trouble.
"Once they've been..."
"Shoes, especially for kids. Once they've been worn in to conform with someone else's foot, you don't want your kids putting their growing feet in there to get reshaped."
Also... gross. Just gross.
Get your kids feet measured regularly and listen to your kids if they tell you that their shoes are too tight of they hurt.
"Children's car seats. They're expensive but there's no guarantee what condition they are in second hand, particularly if they've been through an accident already."
Parents, take note! You'll definitely thank yourselves later.
"Climbing rope. You can't tell how many falls its had or how old it is, and it's literally your life line when you're rock climbing."
Very important! People die in climbing accidents each year – don't be one of them.
"It's actually not healthy..."
"Shoes. It’s actually not healthy to walk in some other person's shoes. It has an impact on your whole body and can cause severe different pains in your body."
You don't want to have issues with your feet in later life! Again, you'll be thankful you listened to this advice.
Some other things I'd add off the top of my head: Mattresses, power supplies, oh, and... this should go without saying, but underwear,
Yes, underwear. The human race pains me.
Have some recommendations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
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I've got a decent amount of animals - some fish, turtles, dogs, etc. - but out of all of them, Optimus Prime is definitely *my* pet.
He's kind of a jerk to everyone else, but a with me he's a the biggest bestest beefaroni boy.
That is an outright lie, this dog is awfully behaved and taught himself how to open doors so he stays letting mosquitos in the house and air conditioning all of South Florida instead of just my living room. I just have a soft spot for him.
But here's the thing - soft spot or not, if someone offered me $50k for this dog, my reaction wouldn't be horror because I just love my "shmoopies" and even can't imagine. I'm not that privileged.
I grew up poor, believe me I've imagined $50k a lot. "Shmoops" might get voted off the island when $50k keeps your babies safe and housed. Relax, animal lovers. Optimus Prime is in no danger of going anywhere.
Nobody is tryna pay $50k to be headbutted and farted at all day.
That fact is precisely why my reaction to someone offering me cash for him would be straight up suspicion.
Optimus is a big beautiful male pit bull with so much muscle that he has abs on his butt.
He doesn't have any official papers, and he's fixed so he can't be used for breeding.
He's not a therapy dog and doesn't do any special tricks (on purpose) and in the time it took me to write this intro he farted so loudly that he scared himself awake and then got so excited by the sudden wake up that he did 3 bunny bounces. It's clear this would not be a high-skilled-labor kind of hire, ya know?
So why would someone want to spend that much money on this dog specifically?
I'd be suspicious that anyone willing to drop serious money on him was going to try to use his size and strength in dog fights and THAT is not gonna fly with me. Not a chance.
The person offering would have to convince me that they're willing to spend that much money on a giant dumb pit bull for some non-fighting reason and that he would have a dope life. Maybe I'd say yes because they sincerely believe he's the reincarnated spirit of their college bro who died in a horrific skiing accident, and they need to take him on a cross country road trip to fulfill the last thing on their bromantic bucket list?
Reddit user spondgbob asked:
"If someone offered you $50,000 to buy your pet, how would you respond?"
Here's what Reddit has to say.
"I'd tell them to meet me outside the local PetSmart in an hour and then rush there and buy a hamster or something."
"Kind of my only option since I don't have a pet."
"You sir, are playing 3D chess while the rest of us are all playing checkers."
"Made me think for a second because my immediate answer is no but upon thinking about it, and how badly I need the money, the answer is still no."
"Irrational love is crazy."
"I could desperately use that money and there's nothing special about my cats. Took a moment to realize it's completely irrational but I could never part with these idiots."
"The harder question after this is at what price point, if any, would you do it?"
Everything Has A Price
"Everything has a price, and they’re in luck that the price for my blind, deaf, arthritic dog happens to be $50k"
"I mean $50k is $50k."
"Like I get that some people view pets as family, good for them. I don't, so as long as they weren't gonna torture the animal or something, then 100% would do it."
" 'You may have the one that runs from it's own poo after it sh*ts' "
"Had a cat get spooked while sh*tting... when it finished he managed to nuke 4 rooms :( "
"I call what my dog does a 'poop-about.' "
"Like a walk-about, but she is pooping as she waddles around the yard sniffing rocks and stuff. She's a weird critter and I love her more than anything."
"One of my earliest memory is having a blast farting in the bathtub... and then..."
"Don't make fun of your pet, your own poop can be very scary and we deserve love no less than more courageous creatures."
"Give it to them."
"I love my aquarium and fish in it. But I could build a sweet aquarium set up with $50k."
"Exactly! I wouldn't sell my dog but I'd give my aquariums away for 50k."
"One of them is a custom that a built a background for and I'd still give it away for 50k."
"Yeah, I would sell my cat in a heartbeat. Call me a narcissist I guess."
"Good thing I dont have kids."
"I'll take the $100,000 in cash."
"50k to give him to you and another 50k to take him back tomorrow when you've finally reached your limit and can't keep him anymore."
"My dog has his own spirit animal, and that spirit animal is a bag of dicks."
"My dog has separation anxiety and a powerful set of lungs."
"I have to drop him off at my mom's house on the way to work so he can be with someone familiar or else he'll be howling all day. He sounds like a dying bison."
"I'm talking loud enough to hear inside your house half a block away. While he's *inside* my house!"
"My kitty is old at this point and I worry now. Someone willing to pay $50k for her probably has the money to take care of medical needs that will be coming soon. That's money I dont have."
"I love her, she has been my family for 17 years now, but if she gets sick reality is I'm gonna have to get her put down probably. She'd have a better chance with someone rich to spoil her at the end."
"I'm shocked by everyone saying they'd do it?!"
"If someone is willing to pay that much, just imagine the sick sh*t they are planning on doing. No way I could live with myself."
"Would you sell your kid? You can get a lot more than 50k for one of them..."
"I have a hard time believing someone willing to sell a dog for a 'lot of money' wouldn't be tempted to or actually sell a child."
"It's alooooot of money for children, so if money is the motivator...."
"My a$$hole cat is a jerk, but family. Though I would expect a lot of push to sell him since he is mean to everyone with only rare moments of niceness."
"Plus they whoever got him would likely kill him."
"He is allergic to fish, can't wear a collar even a breakaway one (somehow almost strangled himself twice), sits in the middle of the road if he escapes, eats the random stuff on the ground, randomly attacks people (full on claws, teeth- goes for the veins usually breaks skin and causes a bruise), has diseases, and goes after other animals in the house regardless of size."
"I hate it and get mad at my boyfriend every time he says it, but he jokes that natural selection is trying its best with my cat. He's kind of right."
"He is untrainable and awful, but incredibly cute and everyone wants to pet him (but quickly learn not to go near him.) At least he does not attack kids 5 and under though."
"I wanted to name him lil Napoleon as he is perpetually ready for a battle and a short legged munchkin. I took him in from my sister but couldn't change his name so it became my nickname for him."
Get Over It
"It is a beta fish that we have had for six days. The kids are currently celebrating it still being alive because they accidentally killed our first fish in about six hours."
"Suffice to say, I’m pretty sure we can get them over it."
"Yes please on the $50,000."
Time to be honest with yourself—would you do it?
What would your reaction be?
Let's argue in the comments!
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Two years ago I steamed a hole in my belly with a hot water bottle that was slightly open.
I didn't feel myself literally cooking because I have nerve damage in the area, but I still have a quarter-sized circular scar as proof!
I've got lots of scars, but my lobster steam stamp is one of my newer additions so it's kind of a fan favorite right now.
Reddit user jeffcarpthefisheater asked:
"Hey, how did you get that scar?"
and Reddit was collectively like :
"Yes, I would like to tell the story of the time I maimed myself and/or was maimed, thanks for asking!"
It's story time, fam.
Sinus Strugglesfriends tv runny nose GIFGiphy
"They cut across the top of my head, ear to ear, peeled the top of my face down, carved out my frontal sinuses like a pumpkin lid, put me back together, and stapled me shut."
"Repeated sinus infections in the frontal sinuses. Hard to treat."
"My childhood cat gave me a diagonal scar across my chest when I was 5 or so."
"She had jumped from my lap and slipped a bit, the scratch was from her back paws. I was sad when it faded many years later."
"Hmm, I should check something ... brb ... Hey, my boob scar from my cat is still there!"
"That genuinely makes me happy since she passed away more than ten years ago."
"I've got another one from her on my inner elbow. Both are from the one single time I had to give her a bath because she was having an allergic reaction to a flea medication."
"She was Very Displeased with the situation."
Carrying A Torch
"My twin brother accidentally took a blowtorch across my forearm while cutting metal in metals class in high school."
"I was cutting some square tubing in shop class with a cutting torch."
"I cut it just fine ... and then immediately picked it up, burning a square into my palm."
Samurai Shenaniganssamurai GIFGiphy
"From a samurai sword."
"It was the first time I'd ever been around people my age drinking. A friend of mine took a fake swing at me; I grabbed the blade reflexively, he yanked it out of my hand."
"Cut pretty deep, hurt like a b*tch."
"But how many people today have scars caused by samurai swords?"
"I also have a samurai sword scar!!"
"Mines on my right knuckle as the hand guards did not do anything for guarding my inexperienced hands. Nearly completely severed the tendon."
"I was sober and in high school."
"Got severely burned by a wild berry pop tart."
"I was very young maybe 7-8. I was sitting on the counter and when I pulled the pop tart out of the toaster, the frosting was so hot it was bubbling."
"I dropped it out of reflex and it landed frosting side down on my leg. I remember brushing it off and my skin melted off with it."
"I had to go to the emergency room."
"Now 15 years later and I still have the scars on my leg, no hair grows where it was burned."
"No one told me poptarts could turn hostile. I was so young and naive, innocent to the world and the horrors it possesses."
"Wild berry pop tart showed me pain, showed me torture, scarred me for life. I shall never forget, and I shall never forgive."
"That's why I stick to domesticated Pop-Tarts."
The Foam PitFlying Major Air GIF by Nitro CircusGiphy
"My legs are all kinds of f*cked up."
"I lost track of which scars came from where, but the ones on my right leg are the gnarliest and those I definitely remember."
"A couple of years ago a friend of mine took me to an indoor bike park. Ramps and jumps and a pump track. It was a lot of fun."
"Well he talked me into going off of this big jump into a foam pit; the kind where you can practice tricks without getting hurt. Well.....I got hurt."
"I landed in the foam pit. It's just that the bike landed there first and I landed directly on top of the bike. Despite the foam padding I ripped my leg to shreds on the pedals."
"Blood everywhere. Thankfully no stitches."
"I'm glad my girlfriend at the time was a nurse."
A Cyst On My Spine
"Back surgery to remove a bone cyst on my spine."
"It was squeezing my spinal cord and I could barely walk. That resulted in two surgeries, about a 10" scar down my back, another long one under my armpit (part of the work meant collapsing my lung so they could get to stuff), and a small one on my hip that a bone graft came from."
"My surgeon was great. He rebuilt 2 vertebrae from the grafts, bolted everything together, and I wore a full torso brace for half a year."
"At my last checkup, he said he didn't want to see me again, which I was happy to oblige."
Power Ranger Practice
"It was the summer of 1994..."
"I was a Power Ranger practicing some killer ninja moves on the bed in my grandparents' guest bedroom. My head smashed into the ceiling light fixture and one of the shards got me in the leg and sliced it open."
Pizza Rolls And Harry PotterSeason 6 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Drunkenly decided a French knife was the proper tool for opening Pizza Rolls. It wasn't."
"So I stop with the pizza rolls and grip my finger, now dripping with blood, all the way to the bathroom. I patched it up in the bathroom and went to go lie down on the couch. Except I never made it."
"Woke up on the floor to my roommates shaking me awake, saying that they 'heard a sound and called out, but got concerned' when I didn't answer them."
"I had turned the corner into the living room too quickly in my stupor and smashed my forehead into the 90⁰ angle of my doorframe. Knocked myself out."
"I cosplay Harry Potter every day now. And yeah, the finger scarred, too."
"Drunken munchies made me fight my house and my house won. Two scars, one bad decision."
You're up, folks. Tell us how you got that scar.
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