Lawyers Break Down The Moment They Actually Said 'F*** It, You're On Your Own' To A Client
Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay |
Ideally, lawyers would like to see the cases they take on through to the end. Ideally, things don't get too messy, but they're bound to get messy, because nothing is simple when you're dealing with courts and the legal bureaucracy. Things get significantly more complicated when they're dealing with clients who won't listen to or abide by their advice.
After Redditor MeLikeFood10 asked the online community, "Lawyers of Reddit, is there a time when you said, 'F*** it, you're on your own!' to a client?" people shared stories about the clients whose cases they had to abandon.
"So one time, I was appointed..."
So one time I was appointed to represent a guy who was having a trial for adjudication in a dependency case. He wasn't at fault for the removal of his children and was f****** pissed off that he had to be party to the case (it's the law), so he's yelled at me for several weeks about this and I've simply said "I can't do s*** about it man it's the law." So he threatens to fire me and I say go for it. He rescinds. Repeat. This happens a few times.
So we get to court and the judge comes in and says any issues to go over before we start?
My guy stands up and says, "I want to fire my lawyer because he's not gonna help me!"
The judge looks at me and asks if that's true and I said, "No, Mr. X is angry that he's a party to this case because Ms. X is the offender. He doesn't believe me when I say that it's simply the law."
Judge asks him and he agrees and says he doesn't think he can trust me to represent his interests.
So the judge lets me go, I close my folio and hand him the file, ask to be withdrawn, it's granted, and I turn and head for the door. As I'm walking out the judge says, "Ok Mr. X, who's your first witness?"
X gets mad and yells about needing an attorney to which the judge replies, "You're allowed appointed counsel and you fired him, we're still going forward. Who's the first witness?"
I couldn't see it but I know that I was smiling in 5D.
Can't blame this lawyer.
That's a brilliant story––with some excellent comeuppance!
"He insisted it would be simple..."
I had a client come to me to do his will. He insisted it would be simple because he never married or had kids. I met with him as usual and went through everything he needed in his will and I explained my hourly rate and how long a will usually took to draft and sign. He came back in a few weeks, signed his will, happily paid his bill, and left.
I should point out two things at this point: 1) this guy was very rich and 2) he could not name a single friend who he trusted to be a backup executor.
As soon as he got home he immediately wrote a long ranting email to my boss. He claimed he had been massively overcharged for his will. He said he had only spent half an hour in my office so he should only have to pay for half an hour and that there was no reason he should be paying for my time. He would go to the law society etc. etc.
My boss called him and told him to bring in all of his will and power of attorney documents and he would issue him a refund.
The conversation went like this:
Boss: I don't have time to deal with petty garbage like this. This is a document stating that you are willingly destroying your will and POAs. Sign it and I'll give you this check for all your fees back.
Client: This isn't a petty issue to me.
Boss: This is a petty issue to everybody.
Client: I'll tell all my friends and family never to work with you.
Boss: Good. I don't want to work with your friends, I don't want to work with your family, I don't want to work with anyone who cares what you think of me. Luckily, I don't think that will be a problem. Go find another lawyer.
So the guy signed the document and my boss dragged the shredder out into the middle of the lobby and shredded all of his documents in front of him and then went back to his office. The guy slunk out and never contacted us again.
"Keep in mind..."
I generally only handle serious injury and wrongful death cases. I have told dozens of clients to pack their bags once I determine they lied to me about what happened. Most of these liars admitted it to me in a way that indicated they thought the entire process was a game of be-the-best-liar: "They're gonna lie, so I'm gonna lie."
You never, ever, no matter the weather, ever ever want a serious injury client with a credibility problem. We regularly put 6 figures in expenses and time into these cases and I'm not about to do that if we have a liar for a client.
Keep in mind, I am talking about lying about important facts, and not the "this is what I remember," when it turns out inconsistent with the physical evidence. I'm not talking about "I didn't mention this yesterday because I was embarrassed." I'm not even talking about "I didn't tell you I have been double filling my oxygen script (this was a decade ago, can't do that anymore) because I knew it was wrong." Just lies about what happened.
"Dad never did."
I had a custody case one time where I was representing the mother pro bono. The lawyer on the other side was representing the father pro bono as well. And let me tell you about these two. Mother was in her early 20s and her income was from a part-time job at Walmart and government benefits. She never finished school and live at her dad's house who himself was not working and living off the government dime. She was missing half her teeth and her overall hygiene was horrendous. After meeting her it blew my mind that someone would feel comfortable enough to have unprotected sex with her.
Until I met the father. He was also in his early 20s and didn't finish school. He had a marked speech impediment. Mom told me he has some kind of mental health diagnosis with the word "explosive" in it and described how violent he could be. He was certainly no looker. For income, he too was on government assistance, but his Facebook was replete with get rich quick schemes which clearly never panned out. He was alleged to be selling marijuana as well to supplement his income.
Well, dad has other kids with other women in other parts of the state. And he is WAY behind on child support payments. So he gets scheduled for a contempt hearing for failure to pay. He asks his pro bono custody lawyer about the contempt hearing, and the lawyer reminds him that he's only his custody lawyer and that he doesn't represent him in any other matters. So the day of the hearing comes and dad goes to court without a lawyer. It doesn't go well for him so he decides to blast his custody lawyer on Facebook for "screwing him over" in his support case. He also decided to call his lawyer afterward to b!tch him out but the lawyer wasn't in the office so he spoke to the lawyer's secretary.
We were scheduled for a custody trial the next day, it had been on the books for months. I get a call from dad's lawyer stating he's filing an emergency motion to withdraw and postpone the trial and was seeking my concurrence on the motion. Apparently, dad threatened to kill his lawyer's secretary during his rant to her.
We have an emergency hearing that afternoon with the judge and Dad's attorney tells the judge what happened. I tell the judge I have absolutely no objection to his lawyer withdrawing. Motion granted, trial rescheduled for 3 months later.
I don't know what was said to dad by his lawyer, but I hope it was "F*** you, you are on your own."
PS three months later he didn't show up for his rescheduled custody trial because he was again behind on child support, this time in another county, and they threw him in jail. I told the judge that's why dad wasn't there and the judge wanted to reschedule the trial. I reminded the judge about what happened three months prior and the judge changed his mind, he dismissed the custody case (which kept the kid with mom which is what she wanted) but in his dismissal order said dad had 30 days after he was released from jail to request a custody trial. Dad never did.
This was a JOURNEY.
People like this exist, sad to say. Our condolences to anyone who has to deal with them.
"My most recent one was a favor..."
My most recent one was a favor for a friend. I agreed to take on his buddy's case - immigration law/deportation case - had a call with the guy told him I would send him the retainer via email. Sent him multiple emails/left voicemail and the guy never responds. I'm thinking he got another lawyer - fast forward six months and we're both at the mutual friend's house for a bbq. He comes up to me to ask me what the status of his case is. So again I tell him he needs to sign the paperwork and respond to my emails, we need to set up some time to talk etc. I haven't heard from the guy since. His daughter sent me an email a couple of weeks ago to see how her dad's case is going. I'm not going to magically put together a case for him out of thin air - f*** it, he's on his own.
Naturally.
Sorry, dude. Better luck next time.
"Normally..."
Our office represented a man with a very implausible story that he wanted to use as a defense to his drugged driving charges. He proceeded to miss court several times and show up apparently intoxicated. This dragged on forever as he was marked on to the trial calendar, then took a deal for a few months of probation with the possibility of having a clean record if he succeeded. At the last court appearance, it wound up being unclear if he had met all the requirements or not. While I was in the middle of arguing with the judge that he should get the benefit of the deal, he got frustrated and said he wanted to fire me because we had never told his side of the story. He proceeded to tell his ridiculous story to the judge, who proceeded to tell him it was completely unbelievable and sentenced him to three years of probation with a criminal conviction.
Normally I would try to stop a client from saying stupid stuff, but sometimes I let them because it insulates me from them later making a claim that I didn't make the arguments they wanted me to.
This sounds like a good strategy.
Some people will simply dig a hole for themselves.
"Client wanted me to lie..."
Sure. Client wanted me to lie to get an unfair economic advantage, and that's against the deontological code where I practice.
I didn't say "f*** it" but I told him to go to a different lawyer. In my jurisdiction, you can drop a client whenever and for whatever reason, you just have to make sure he has the necessary legal assistance in the immediate future if there are deadlines or hearings upcoming.
"A client..."
Yes. A client, after I specifically told him not to, farted on my leg in the middle of court. He got 10 years and got out in 8 for good behavior.
He should have listened.
Easier said than done, though.
"I first provided a detailed estimate..."
Yup.
I sent numerous detailed letters explaining that this is not an overnight deal, that litigation takes time. I first provided a detailed estimate of how long this would take based on my lengthy experience. When the court set a formal schedule, I sent another letter saying (in very professional and diplomatic terms) "see? My estimate of how long this will take was spot on - here's an order from the judge setting the same schedule I predicted."
Regardless, I kept getting phone calls all the time asking "is it settled yet? Is it settled YET?!" and offering suggestions that, well, these suggestions were so ridiculous that if they had come from a young associate attorney, I'd have to wonder if I could continue to employ that attorney.
The last straw was in yet another of those "Is it settled yet? Why isn't it settled yet? Let me give you some suggestions about how to settle this" calls when I got a "You do know what you're doing, right? This isn't your first case is it?!"
I prepared a sternly worded but quite diplomatic and professional letter saying, "You either need to shut the f*** up and listen to me or you need to f*** off and find someone else."
Hey...
...sometimes you just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's the only way some people learn.
"I have let clients go..."
A client can be "fired" for many different reasons depending on the jurisdiction. I have let clients go if they are committing crimes WHILE I am representing them.
We don't envy the lawyers who've had to deal with clients like these.
Unfortunately, these are the types of people who try to bog down the court system and make dealing with it such an unpleasant experience.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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People Explain Which Red Flags They Can't See Past In A Partner
Reddit user WoodenInevitable1574 asked: 'What is one red flag in a partner that negates all green flags for you?'
All significant others have one type of idiosyncratic behavior that can be easily overlooked.
While the unique characteristic can be annoying, it can also be a charming attribute that makes your loved one extra special to you because it's harmless.
However, there are some behaviors that are unacceptable and can signal the end of relationships.
Red flags aren't as easily negotiable and can be a strong indicator that your partner may not be worth investing in.
Curious to hear from strangers about their hard limits, Redditor WoodenInevitable1574 asked:
"What is one red flag in a partner that negates all green flags for you?"
These red flags are mainly representative of how people treat others.
Meaness
"Cruelty. People can hide it pretty well sometimes but when you see it, it’s best to dip."
– anon
"Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between a human being dumb or being cruel."
– ERSTF
Dramatics
"Victim complex and being rude to people."
– WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
"Just ended a friendship I’ve had with someone since kindergarten due to this."
"She was always the hero or the victim (ya know, always the martyr), and it was always about her. Sad that it ended after so long but I couldn’t take it anymore, and I hated feeling like a hypocrite, calling myself her friend while growing to resent her more and more each day."
– kgriff112
The One-Upper
"Oooh victim complex is a good one."
"Had a girlfriend once where literally no matter what you spoke of or what anybody else spoke of. She had a dozen stories about how her life is far worse than yours and would only talk about her medical issues, it would get brought up legit over 50 times in a day. It was always worse near other people too."
"Girl, I get it, you have had a less than ideal life. But making your entire Personality based around it is insufferable. Shut up and let other people speak for once."
– bumliveronions
You can never trust these kinds of people in relationships. If you spot this red flag, run the other way.
Liars
"Dishonesty."
– pretty_monotonous
"Of course, because then the green flags may all be false."
– sketchysketchist
Taking Daddy's Money
"Was dating a girl and all of the sudden she had way more spending money than what she was earning. I ultimately found out that her dad sent her a check for her college tuition at the private university she was enrolled at, but she dropped several of the classes for ones at the local community college she could get transfer credit for at a fraction of the cost."
"Yeah, embezzling from your dad is not a good sign in a long term partner or spouse."
– tacknosaddle
Schemer
"Malicious Manipulation of any form."
– PsychologicalRing959
These behaviors are unacceptable and can be problematic for the relationship.
"What they say about people behind their back."
– Street_Piece8194
Tossin' Trash
"Littering. Like blatantly. Throwing trash out of a car window, for example. It's my pet peeve. Of course, I'd point it out to them first and see if they stopped doing it, but it would still be a huge red flag to me."
– Hippycowgirl411
Anger Issues
"Extreme outburst of anger."
– itzrx
"Too many people let this go because they saw their parents do it."
– DeepInternet
Excuse For Rage
"Relationship with anger for me. Some people have conditions where they might have a brief verbal outburst they can’t control at first. But if they can get it under control and apologize, then they aren’t committed to their feelings of anger."
"But if they’re the kind of person who gets angry, knowing they’re wrong, but keep pushing because they’re angry and stubborn. The kind of person who gets angry and says 'my emotions are valid' and uses it to justify their actions. The kind of person who decides to hold onto every 'wrong' in a relationship to use in the next argument. Those are commitments to excusing their anger."
– ClassicAF23
The Center Of The Universe
"Over the top solipsism. That 'I don't perceive it that way, so it cannot be true' mentality."
– UnoriginalUse
As someone mentioned above, dishonesty is THE major red flag for me.
If a person can't be honest with me about the most basic things, what makes them think they have my trust down the line?
Like, what are they hiding? No, thanks to playing reindeer games.
A great movie is one that you can watch over and over again, and can't stop talking about.
Indeed, some people have seen some movies so many times that they've begun to notice minute details that other viewers no doubt overlooked upon their first viewing.
While others have started in-depth analyses of the story and characters, namely what happened to all of them afterward, or what led them to where they are at the start of the film.
Otherwise known as fan theories.
Be it on the internet, or in your local coffee shop, some people simply can't stop talking about their favorite fan theories, from Andy's Mom being Jesse's original owner in the Toy Story films to the possibility that Danny and Sandy are dead at the end of Grease and driving up to heaven (...why else weren't they in Grease 2?...)
"Movie buffs of Reddit, what is your favorite fan theory for any well-loved and popular movie?"
It Makes Sense That He Would Change His Identity...
"'Heavyweights' is a prequel to Dodgeball."
"Tony Perkiss = White Goodman"- drunkpilot2
High Five Ben Stiller GIFGiphyYou'd Think They Would Have At Least Introduced Themselves...
"'Lord of the Rings', Frodo doesn't know Legolas's name."
"He never once says it and in the end scene where everyone runs in to see Frodo in the hospital, Frodo yells out everyone's name in excitement as they come in....except for Legolas, who he just stares at smiling, then Gimli walks in and he's back to it yelling 'Gimli!'."- Grouchy_Cat8054
...But Does The Movies Actually Make Sense?...
"The Machines are the good guys in 'The Matrix'."
"If you watch 'The Animatrix' you see that the Machines tried to be democratic members of society and when the humans wouldn't let them create their own country."
"The humans then wage war against that nation."
"The Machines at any time could make the planet unlivable for humans but they never do."
"The humans actually have the bright idea to block out the sun because the Machines are primarily solar powered."
"The Machines convert to nuclear then win the war against humans."
"THEN start plugging humans into the Matrix, an inferior source of energy to nuclear."
"I believe the Machines put the humans in their to keep them safe from the hellscape they created."
"They never truly eradicate the humans that have escaped the Matrix."
"Just keep them powerless enough to protect themselves."
"When Agent Smith is ranting about how much humans disgust (in part 1) him the other agent is skeeved out, and even says, 'What are you doing?'."
"Agent Smith is an outlier, threatening what the Machines collectively want."
"The Machines even ally with the humans against Agent Smith."
"An alliance the Machines readily accept because they always wanted to get along with humans."
"They call off the attack on Zion, ending the cycle of destruction and rebuilding."
"They have no reason to honor Neo's terms after he dies, but they do because they wanted peace all along."
"Allowing the humans the belief that Neo fostered a peace and they should relegate their conflict with the Machines to inside the Matrix works perfectly for them."
"No human or machine deaths."
"Humans that can sense the Matrix get segregated."
"Zion and the machine nation coexist."
"It's everything they ever wanted."- NucularRobit
"I've always loved the idea that the reason the CGI fight scenes between Neo and Agent Smith in 'Matrix Reloaded' and 'Revelations' looks so weird and 'bad', is that they are moving so fast that the Matrix is having trouble rendering them."- Righteous_Itch
the matrix 90s GIFGiphyCertainly Opens The Door For Volume 3...
"Bill didn’t die at the end of 'Kill Bill'."
"Both he and Beatrix knew that the 5-point palm exploding heart technique was fake."
"Using it on him was Beatrix’s way of saying 'if you play along and play dead, I’ll just take my daughter and go'.”- Rhodie114
Explains Why He Didn't Attend 'Rushmore'"...
"Napoleon Dynamite is what poor people are like in the Wes Anderson universe."- natelopez53
Still Doesn't Mean it's Watchable...
"The movie 'Batman & Robin' was actually an in-universe movie made by people that live in Gotham City."- Mr--Imp
george clooney batman GIF by MauditGiphyTheory, Or Fact?
"The 'Mad Max' movies all tell the same story."
"Max is a mythological figure in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, who in reality was maybe once a cop or something similar as society was breaking down."
"However as subsequent generations have lost more and more of society that was pre-collapse, subsequent generational retellings of the story have verged away more wildly from the truth."
"The bones of the story is that he is a man stricken by grief who adopts a small community in need and fights of a gang of vehicular maniacs but does not remain with them in the end."- WhapXI·
Of All The Names He Could Have Chosen...
"Shrek didn't have a name and made it up on the spot when Donkey asked him."- I_might_be_weasel
"I'll Be Back" makes so much more sense...
"That 'Terminator 1' wasn't the first pass through the timeline and John Connor deliberately chose his own father to give himself a better chance."- Astramancer_
terminator GIFGiphyBackstory For A Board Game...
"While not a well loved or popular movie, my theory on the 'Battleship' movie is a cheap alien production company is attempting to film some sort of nature documentary or reality tv show on earth and ends up being killed by the humans."
"They have advanced weapon technology, but they don't really know how to use it correctly."
"In fact, much of it is automated."
"Upon losing the communications ship, the system goes into a defensive mode, deploying the isolation dome and neutralizing any potential threats from the locals."
"By the time the aliens deactivate it, they've destroyed a bunch of local population and military."
"The aliens feel that this ruins any potential chance to reach out for help from the humans and decide to just go with maintaining security and securing local resources in order to call for help."
"Eventually the humans wipe them all out, and when news of their demise reaches the alien society it is met with the same contempt as someone petting a Bison at Yellowstone."- BMLortz
What Would Jar Jar say?
"Palpatine used Padme’s life force to keep Vader alive and that’s why she dies."
"Not sadness."- chesterforbes
They're All Connected... Through Violence...
"That Mr. Pink in 'Reservoir Dogs' survives his escape and is on the run living as a waiter at the 50s restaurant in Pulp Fiction."
"Same universe, at least."- Witty_Cost_9917
reservoir dogs GIFGiphyOne of the main reasons people watch movies is to open their imaginations and escape into a world far different from their own.
Making broadening that world all the more fun.
That being said, anyone who wants to stay in the world of Batman and Robin might have too much time on their hands...
Whatever gets you there.
That is my motto when it comes to the ways of seduction.
Turning someone on can be an art form.
Or it can be a simple accident.
Some people have ways that have been perfected.
Other people just stumble along and strike gold.
Redditor celena6443 had some questions about seduction, so they asked:
"What's something simple that turns you on?"
A smile.
A simple smile gets me all of the time.
Kindness First
"I like it when she’s nice."
Ok_Pear_8291
"I like it when she's mean but in a nice way."
presideAM
Making Moves
"Returned interest. If I’m making a move, they’re making it known it’s very welcome."
DefinitelyNotADave
"This is the one. I am texting a girl who I have no idea if she’s into me or not but she gave me her number, didn’t reply to the last text I sent and I’m just like… well it was a question so I’m definitely not going to text again. Now I sit and wonder. I think I may overthink this whole dating thing."
eoJ_semoC_ereH
"Enthusiastic consent is appreciated. If I feel like I'm imposing on someone in any way, it makes me withdraw to avoid being a nuisance. I don't understand why some guys like it when girls display discomfort with romantic vibes."
FriedMattato
The Story
"My wife’s hips when she’s sitting. Specifically, if she’s in her undies doing her makeup, and I can see the little crease that her side butt/hips make. Don’t know why, but just makes me lose all train of thought if I see it."
theonephaze23
"I do indeed lose my train of thought regularly, i.e. whenever my wife changes her crossed legs while sitting on the couch and I'm facing her telling a story."
apeaquatic
"Exactly the same for me!! When I told my wife she don’t get it, and it is that line where her thigh meets the hip it's just so hot."
ilithios27
I Remember
"When she remembers things from previous conversations where I've talked about my hobbies, interests, favorite foods etc etc. I don't tell people these things with the expectation of them remembering or even caring but knowing they've paid attention and cared enough to remember the things I'm passionate about makes me feel valued, respected, and wanted. Anyone who doesn't try to suppress the little kid inside me that is passionate about some dorky things is cool with me."
warrof1
Hold Me
Hugs GIFGiphy"Hug from behind."
happygolucky226I
"Came to the comments to find this. I’m not a short woman, but my husband is much taller than me and a hug from behind combined with a back-of-neck kiss will get me from 0 to 1000 real quick."
IntuitiveMonster
Hug me, hold me, love me.
From behind I feel it.
Not Feet?
Hands Nails GIF by 2021 MTV Video Music AwardsGiphy"Had a casual hookup once who very sensually played with my hands and wow that was a level of intimacy I wasn't aware I could experience, and the immediate go zone it threw me into."
BlondeBreveHC
Big Talker
"The way a guy talks. Not just tone of voice but how he uses his words, or if he talks with his hands, etc."
Kbrown_021
Simplicity
"All my attention-starved ass can think of is positive direct attention. Like, when a person is very clearly interested in talking to you. Instead of passing greetings and bland conversation with the group that could be directed towards anybody who'd listen, they quickly direct their attention towards you and ask questions, trying to get to know you. "
"If someone hot does that... historically I've been too scared to do sh*t, but it definitely gets my heart pounding. Also, boobs. I'm a simple man."
2Scarhand
Gazing
"Eye contact."
nopestillgotit
"As an introvert and... I don't know someone who finds prolonged eye contact uncomfortable, if I'm attracted to someone and they are the type where they hold your gaze in conversations, I get sooo flustered so quick just—tingles everywhere."
bich-imma-slap-u
"This!! Oh, I go weak in my knees when my partner deep gazes into my eyes."
Impressive_Flan1600
Anything
"Sad cringe, but anything that says hey, here's something that I've done for you in my own free time specifically because I remember you saying you liked it, or because I wanted to impress you with something I personally like. I don't know, something (anything) that just reassures me that I'm not just the fat kid on the other end of the seesaw."
tazil_monkey
LOL
Mothers Day Lol GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"A compatible sense of humor. I like to make people laugh and have a unique sense of humor so if I make a woman laugh I'll catch feelings pretty quick. but if she makes me laugh I'm gonna be in love."
dimmu1313
Laughter is the best medicine.
And the best way to love.
Content Warning: death, accidents, illness.
Death is typically the worst thing that we experience while watching a film or reading a book, but some of us have had the terrible experience of witnessing someone else's death in real life.
Redditor T_A_C_T_B asked:
"People that have seen people die (not in a video but actually in front of you), what happened?"
Chest Compressions
"Clinically died, but resuscitated."
"I worked in an ER for a month, he rolled in with an AV block so bad, he had an asystole."
"I've seen him gasping for air, then his eyes going out of focus and looking up, and then stopped breathing."
"Chest compressions and dobutamine got him back up. He got an emergency pacemaker implant."
- sybch
Blood Clots
"This is my cousin's story."
"He was five at the time. His mom (my first cousin) was putting him to bed and then she collapsed. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was just barely breathing."
"He ran downstairs to get help. They called 911, but it was too late. She had a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her lungs. Her lungs started filling with blood. She was gone just like that."
"My mom (her aunt) was on the phone the whole time. I can never get the sound of my mom crying out of my head. It’s the worst sound a kid could ever hear. I was 13 when this happened."
"After that, any time someone had an ache, I was afraid it was a blood clot. Because that’s how my cousin's death started."
"I always have a feeling one of my parents would get into some accident. My dad is a farmer and I heard way too many stories about farming accidents. I experienced way too many people's funerals for my age at the time and death just felt like it was right there. Like it could happen to my friends and family so soon."
"That day changed my life forever. You couldn’t pay me to relive that night."
- Dogs4life2009
The Phone Calls
"I heard my grandma coughing and went to check on her. She was stuck in bed I’m not sure how long. Covered in vomit. I tried to help her to the bathroom and I saw the life leave her face. She dropped."
"I did CPR. I got my dad. I called 911. I showed the ambulance which one was my house."
"I saw them shock her. I heard them call time of death. An hour later, my uncle yelled in my face for not calling him first. I was 11."
- drunkandlonely223
The Transition
"I'm an RN, and it happens all the time. Usually they're unconscious already and they just go from looking asleep to not breathing."
- AdmlBaconStrapes
Lung Cancer
"I held my Dad's hand as he passed from lung cancer. My mother held his other hand, and he took his oxygen mask off, knowing what that meant."
"When he started to make some noises and take breaths after he passed, my mother thought he was 'coming back,' and it was heartbreaking. I just had to tell her that this is what happens. He was ready, it was just that we weren't ready to lose him."
"It was (and I know how terrible this sounds) a relief when it was over. He was very clear beforehand he didn't want to be on any machines, it was fully his choice to take off the mask himself, and it was his right to have that choice."
"I miss him every day; he was my Superman, and I'm grateful that I had the chance to thank him for being the best dad in the world."
"If you've lost somebody close or are struggling with grief, I'll save you the platitudes but I'd like to share one thing I found helpful to remember: we don't ever get over losing someone we love so much, but we do learn to adapt and adjust day by day."
"Grief counseling is more helpful than you'd think. My Superman dad arranged for my mother and me to have grief counseling before he died because he knew we were struggling to accept we would lose him, and he was fine and accepted what was happening. It really helped."
- SabrinaSpellman3
Surrounded by Family
"Me, my mom, and my sisters watched my dad die. It was the 'died peacefully surrounded by family' that you often see in obituaries."
"He was bedridden the last few years of his life due to an inoperable tumor. He would get bed sores, and one eventually got infected, and when we got to the hospital, they told us there was really nothing they could do."
"They waited until we were all there before they took him off life support. We all said our goodbyes while he was still somewhat with it, and while he was a little incoherent, his last real words were how much he loved us."
"After that, it was just us waiting. He was propped up in bed with his head down and it seemed no different than just watching someone sleep. It probably took about 17 to 18 hours. We all didn’t stay the whole time, but we were all there holding hands when he passed. We weren’t even 100% sure he was gone but a nurse came in and confirmed."
"No struggle, no pain, just peaceful."
"I will say, though… the worst part (other than the obvious) was the staff asked if we wanted to step outside for a few minutes so they could finish up and get him straightened out (he was hunched over in bed). When we got back into the room, he was positioned to be lying down but his mouth was wide open, looking like Van Gogh’s 'Scream' painting. That hit a lot harder and was more painful than actually watching him take his last breaths."
- McMc10001
Pedestrian Trouble
"Dude got his skull crushed by a f**king street car five feet away from me. I will never get the sound of it out of my mind for as long as I am alive. Drunk and on drugs, the dude tripped while trying to run across the street in front of it."
"F**k me, just typing this is giving me PTSD."
- himlersgasstation
Metastatic Breast Cancer
"I was with my mom when she passed as a result of metastatic breast cancer. She had been in and out of consciousness for a week but hadn't regained consciousness in two days. It was a brutal fight but a fairly peaceful death if that makes sense."
- WoodlesMoodles
Witnessing Grief
"I saw a poor guy in really bad shape at the part of the hospital where chemo patients sit. Saw a guy just flop over and a woman with him just started wailing. It was terrible."
"That was, for whatever reason, the day I quit Facebook. Just thought life was too fragile to mess around with social media."
"As I type this on Reddit..."
- Worf_in_a_Party_Hat
Heart Attack
"I work at a hotel as a housekeeper. About a week ago I accidentally entered the wrong room and the man in said room was having a heart attack. I'd forgotten my phone, so I sprinted like mad to inform the manager."
"He was initially still alive, but he died the following morning."
- Fr3nchT0astCrunch
Swimming Accidents
"Teens swimming. All of a sudden they panic, (I was on the other side of a body of water) I ran over, and their friend was underwater. I got him out and did CPR, but he didn’t make it. I dream of the kid sometimes."
"It’s not like the movies when the lungs expel water. Algae and whatever else went in my mouth, and they don’t wake up. At least that was my experience."
- Chiefzakk
Moving Boxes
"I was helping someone move apartments, and he had a heart attack right in front of me. Paramedics said it was a cardiac arrest from alcohol withdrawals. He didn't even make a sound. He just fell over and that was it."
- GotTechOnDeck
Breathing Transition
"I watched my mum take her last breath two weeks ago. After a night of really heavy breathing (heart failure), it went into shallow breathing, her face twitched a little, and went into her sleep."
- Bailey0423
A Familiar Phrase
"I’ve been working trauma and high-risk healthcare for nearly a quarter century and have seen more people die than I ever would have imagined."
"Reddit constantly downvotes this response, thinking it’s a Marvel reference."
"People really do often say, 'I don’t feel so good,' as their last words. Seasoned healthcare providers know that phrase is serious."
- Any_Move
We've all experienced something, with some situations being worse than others. But it's hard to imagine going through something worse than witnessing the final moments of someone's life, knowing there's nothing you can do to prolong their time.
All we can do is practice gratitude in our own lives and hug our loved ones a little tighter today.