One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Like lots of kids growing up, I did love my candy and my sugar. Truth be told, I wasn't allowed to have as much as I would have liked, but that doesn't mean I didn't sneak some candies whenever I had the opportunity.
Now that I'm older though? My taste buds just aren't the same.
I can't stomach too much of anything super sweet and the idea of chowing down on candy and chocolate the way I see some kids do pretty much grosses me out.
My body thanks me, though!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Fulhus asked the online community,
"What food doesn't taste as good as it used to?"
Planterz Cheese Balls
"Planters Cheez Balls. Those things were like the food of the gods when I was a kid in the 80s. When they brought them back for a while a few years ago I bought a few cans, only to find out they tasted like disappointment."
It's true what they say: You can't go home again.
"Juicy Fruit gum. They ruined the flavor 20 years ago. It tastes bitter after 20 seconds. They should just discontinue the gum."
Honestly, yes. It tastes like nothing now. Then again, I haven't had gum in years and I'm okay with that.
"Thin Mints — most other Girl Scout cookies since they changed manufacturer, but I miss the old thin mints the most."
I had some recently and I really enjoyed them but I guess I wouldn't know! I didn't grow up eating Girl Scout cookies.
"She left me her recipes..."
"My grandma's cooking. She left me her recipes when she passed but I still can’t recreate her magic."
Nostalgia is also an ingredient, believe it or not.
Sorry about your loss.
"Butterfingers or Nestle chocolate in general."
I used to love these and don't think I can stomach them anymore.
"KFC has gone WAY downhill in the past 25 years."
Honestly, Popeye's is where it's at. That's been the case for a long time.
"Pop tarts. They are chalky/pasty and so thin now."
If you really want to taste a proper Pop Tart, I have found that the store brands taste a lot like the old ones. Check some out.
"Corn Pops ever since they got rid of the foil bag."
The foil bag?
They got rid of the foil bag?1
Is nothing sacred?!
"Peaches. I've commented on this many times but the last several years the peach crop has sucked. I haven't had a good, juicy, non-mealy peach in a long time."
The ones you buy at the store are nowhere near as good as the ones my friend can just pick off the tree in his backyard!
"Klondike bars, they are half of what they used to be and the coating is chocolate flavored crap they mist across them instead of actually coating them in something approaching real chocolate."
They melt so quickly, too! Not worth it. I haven't had one in years.
Sorry to disappoint all of you: The things you loved eating as a kid are pretty bad now.
Your wallet and health will thank you later. Much of it is just really terrible refined sugar.
Have some thoughts of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
It's really no secret that most children think their parents are super uncool.
Because of course they are.
Parents didn't have lives or dreams of their own before they had children, right? How could they possibly ever have been fun?
That's sarcasm, by the way. Most people grow out of this attitude, and it usually disappears by the time a kid gets through their teenage years, when pretty much anything their parents do turns their faces red with embarrassment.
But suppose you, the parents, wanted to embarrass your kids anyway, say by reviving a slang term or two?
People shared their thoughts after Redditor the-tinman asked the online community,
"What are some slang terms a 50 year old dad can say to his daughter to embarrass her?"
"Just say "whatup fam?" Then when they get mad yell "worldstar."
Do I even want to know what the hell "worldstar" is? Ugh. I'm old now.
This is actually sweet.
"I am taking my 14 year old daughter and her friends to an Anime convention. They are all dressing up to cosplay anime characters. I decided to dress up as Indiana Jones, And I guess that is the worst thing in the world."
For them? Yeah. Bonus points if you quote some awesome Indy lines.
"When something surprises you..."
"When something surprises you, say you are “shook."
And when you're really, really surprised, say that you're "shooketh."
"Wuss poppin' Jimbo?"
How about you don't but we'll say that you did?
"Wait till she’s in an argument with your spouse, or being slightly verbose in a public place, pull out your phone and shout “world star!"
There it is again! Do I really need to start adding this to my vocabulary? Because I really don't want to.
"Say bruh after literally every sentence."
Your mother and i have decided we are getting a divorce. Bruh.
"He did things like..."
"My dad never used slang terms. He did things like ask if I applied my rash cream and if my gum disease was bothering me in front of people."
This sounds like it definitely impacted your ability to get dates.
"Ugh, my 60 year old mother loves to say things are ”the puff daddy” when she thinks something is awesome or superior. So you should probably point out things that you also find to be the “puff daddy."
She knows exactly what she's doing.
An evil genius.
"I used the "You ain't woke fam. I'm too lit" on my 15 yr old daughter. I'm 46. Her exact response, walking by without looking at me. "I don't even think you understand what you are saying."
Plot twist: But you did.
You totally did.
"I'm partial to saying..."
"I’m partial to saying “I’m finna pop a goog” instead of “I’m going to google this thing." I’ve received mixed responses."
Gee, I wonder why?
And there you have it. If you have a kid, they better watch out. But do report back. The results are undoubtedly hilarious.
Have a suggestion of your own? Tell us about it in the comments below!
It's always sad when people don't have anything better to do than throw insults at people.
And yet it happens far too often, between people who see each other on a fairly regular basis, as well as complete strangers.
It's always a good idea to avoid sinking to their level when this happens, and just ignore them and walk on by.
That being said, there is very little more satisfying than coming back at them with just the right choice of words, and leaving them in stunned silence.
"What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve ever heard?"
"My best friend: After an argument with some kid from our school in a shop we began walking away down the street..."
"Kid: 'where you going?'"
"Friend: 'your moms house'."
"Kid: 'my mom lives the other way idiot'."
"Friend: 'Nah, i meant your real mom'.”- FourShott
Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job!
"Air Traffic Control doing a poor job of vectoring an Airbus A330 in for landing."
"Pilot: 'You've left us too high, I don't think we can make the approach'."
"ATC: "You've got speedbreaks on that thing, don't you?'"
"Pilot: (After a noticeable pause) 'Yes, but those are for my mistakes, not yours'."- DerpDishPizza
If You Can't Take Heat...
"A friend in high school on our way to a track meet."
"He was staring at a car in the parking that was really nice."
"When this dbag saw him."
"Dbag: 'Why bothering looking at that when you know you’ll never be able to get one?'”
"My friend: 'The same reason you watch porn'.”
"The entire bus erupted and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard."- RedIguanaLeaderCute Gif Reaction GIFGiphy
The Only Thing Worse Than People Talking About You?...
"A dude in my class called out a semi friend of mine."
"That people are talking behind his back."
"In fact, that wasn’t the case, as far as I know, and that guy said: 'Well you know what the say about you?'"
"'Nothing, nobody f*cking cares'.“ Reddit
Seriously, Mind Your Own Business
"So there was 2 girls fighting and one of them looks at my sister who was minding her own business and says: you go to hell too!"
"My sister: do you want me to say anything to your mom?" - Reddit
Take It Like A Real Man!
"It's gotta be the Aliens locker room scene for me."
"Hudson: 'Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?'"
"Vasquez: 'No, have you?'"- Mike-DropJames Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
When You Get The Teacher In Stitches...
"English class in Middle School."
"Kid A - 'yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonalds last night'."
"'Must feel like sh*t having a mom that works at McDonalds'."
"Kid B- 'at least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work'."
"English teacher far louder than he realized 'DAYUM!'."
"The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on."- Nutella_Zamboni
Living Up To His Reputation
"Context: John Oliver from HBO interviews Stephen Hawking (may he rest in peace)."
"JO: 'And there may be a universe where I am more intelligent than you?'."
"SH: 'There may even be a universe where you are funny'."- bugfish03
When They Go Low, You Go High!
"Overheard by me, the school bus driver."
"One fifth grade student was belittling a first grader."
"When it was time for a comeback, first grader shouts out, 'Congratulations!'"
"The bewildered fifth grader had nothing to say and went to sit down with her friends in the back of the bus."- emzirekJeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy
"Joe Pyne interviewing Frank Zappa."
"Joe: 'I guess your long hair makes you a woman'."
"FZ: 'I guess your wooden leg makes you a table'." Reddit
It's sad when people have nothing better to do than belittle others.
Making it hard to feel that they get just what they deserve when someone school's them with a clever comeback.
Hopefully teaching them to use their time a bit more wisely going forward.
Being diagnosed with cancer is news no one ever wants to hear.
For some people, the diagnosis might come as a surprise, with no signs or warnings whatsoever.
Others, however might have detected some irregularities, or suffered from symptoms which led them to believe something wasn't quite right, leading them to run to a doctor.
Only to have their worst fears realized.
"People of Reddit who have gone through or are going through cancer, what was the first sign that made you go to the doctor?"
Lucky To Be Scolded By Dad.
"I was fooling around in a mall as a kid."
"So My dad grabbed me by the neck to make me behave."
"He felt a lump on my neck and immediately began to get nervous."
"We went to the doctor the next day, caught the cancer before it spread and was able to surgically remove it about a month later."
"Got super lucky."- SockFeetLover
"My sister noticed a small painful lump in her breast shortly after having her second child."
'Doctor diagnosed a blocked mammary gland."
"A couple weeks later it still wasn’t gone."
"Again doc said blocked gland."
"Months later it’s still not gone and she insists on getting a second opinion."
"Stage 3 breast cancer."
"Double mastectomy immediately followed by months of agonizing radiation and chemo only to find out it’s now stage four."
"She’s been stable for a few years but now it’s spreading again and we don’t know how long we have with her."
"Trying to be as positive as possible."- KidGorgeous19
"My 33 year old husband was diagnosed with inoperable glioblastoma, most aggressive brain cancer, in January 2019, when he was 31."
"What caused him to get a check, was persistent headache that didn’t go away with paracetamols and sleep."
"We discovered the tumors after taking an MRI."
"Needless to say, our lives were changed forever."
"Now we are at the end of our journey, and it’s been a harrowing experience for me as his wife and caregiver."
"It’s a lonely journey."
"I don’t wish it upon anyone and no one has any idea what glioblastoma is like, unless they have gone through it."
"The median survival time is 14-18 months."
"Viktor has passed away yesterday, on 1st August."
"He was surrounded by his brother and me and smiled a lot to the very end."
"At his final resting position, his face looked relaxed and a little smile can be seen by us too."
"I am still in shock, processing what has happened to us. I’ll take the time I need to process this and grieve."
"I just miss my husband."
"I miss his laughs."
"I miss his smile."
"I feel loved."
"I know I’m loved."
"So that’s keeping me together."
"May Viktor find peace."
"I know he’s not in pain now."- syarkbait
Swollen Head and Neck
"My head and neck area became very swollen."
"At first I thought I was just getting fat, so I worked out a lot and ate better."
"This did not help."
"I also went to a local clinic and they thought it might be an allergic reaction and gave me steroids, which also didn’t help."
"The thing that finally made me go to the emergency room and not leave until I had an answer is that I started to develop unexplained bruises on my chest."
"Turns out I had a huge tumor in my chest which had grown around my heart and was compressing the superior vena cava so blood couldn’t flow back down from my head."
"The good news is that it turned out to be very treatable and I’ve been cancer free for 11 years now."- eskimospy212
A Different Lump
"Funnily enough, it was a totally unrelated lump."
"'Nope, that lump is fine, just a lipoma'."
"'However, we found another lump in the corner of your x-ray and we need to biopsy it'."- something_crass
"Super heavy periods that would last for 10 or more days."
"Got an iud to help control bleeding."
"Actually hemorrhaged so bad the iud came out."
"Endometrial Cancer, huge tumor in my uterus."
"Ladies, it's not normal to need a tampon and pad at the same time."
"It's not normal to need to change them every 10 minutes or even every hour."
"An average period is 2-3 Tablespoons, just for reference."
"Sorry if TMI."
"I am one year NED (no evidence of disease)."
"I was diagnosed at 40."
"The main take away is if something is not right, keep looking for answers and the right physician."
"Heavy periods do not usually mean cancer in pre menopausal women, but there is no reason to suffer through them."
"Post menopausal women should not experience any bleeding, one drop and you should go to the doctor right away."- Icewaterforall
If something seems off, or doesn't go away in a reasonable amount of time, it's always best to see a doctor.
Even if you have the slightest doubt.