One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Straight Men Share The Strangest Things They've Been Told Not To Do Because They're Considered 'Gay'
When will the madness and bullying stop?
Gay people do all the "normal" things the rest of you do.
Straight people do things gay people do.
Except of course... being gay.
Gay people play sports.
Straight people like musicals.
It's a whacky world, friends.
Redditor The_WereArcticFox wanted to hear from all the straight boys out there about the times they've been censored in life.
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
FYI... you can be straight and love Adele, Beyoncé and Madonna. In case you didn't know.
Skilllsepisode 1 sewing GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
"Not me but a friend was seen as effeminate because he was into sewing. I'm sorry, but the manliest man trait on the planet is practicality, and sewing is one of the most practical skills to have at literally any point in history."
"I was engaged, and my co-workers knew I was engaged to a woman. I was at some sort of work thing, and started talking to a guy who was obviously gay. We started talking about philosophy, and I thought he was a cool guy. I was just like hey, if I ever read 'X book' that we were talking about, I'd love to discuss it with you over coffee or something, but I might not read it anytime soon."
"I'd just graduated college, where getting coffee with someone didn't mean anything, and you just did it if you wanted to have a conversation with them. Apparently everyone thought I asked the dude out. I guess I see where they're coming from, but I just wanted to talk about Wittgenstein with someone who'd read him should I ever read him."
"When I was in 8th grade, i got a solid beat down for wearing a plain purple t-shirt. Apparently only gay guys do that. YEARS later i found out I was gay for liking guys, turns out it had nothing to do with my shirt. Who woulda thunk?"
Feel the Pain
"I was taking prescription strength painkillers after surgery. My friend had come over to check on me. Her boyfriend (ex) thought it was gay to take painkillers and told me to be a man."
"My brother thinks taking painkillers is gay too. I have no idea why but he will suffer a migraine instead of taking an aspirin."
"He sounds abusive. My friend had a bf like that he wouldn't let her take painkillers when on her period. Something about painkillers makes you weaker."
Play OnSeason 7 Episode 20 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"I played the clarinet."
"I played the clarinet. I did it because the chicks playing flute were hawt. And dudes don't play flutes. Cause that's gay."
Knowing any instrument is a great skill.
Legs Outjudge avoid GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy
"I had a girlfriend that started laughing when I crossed my legs because that’s hella gay. And it was like the full straight guy spread out T leg cross."
"Apparently going out for Mexican and margaritas with your pal. No one said it directly, but the waitress gave us a complimentary dessert for 2 and said happy anniversary... free dessert is free dessert, I guess."
"I also went to a Mexican restaurant as well with a friend and the waitress treated us like a waitress would treat my and my GF she definitely thought we were gay. Guess I'm the top in the relationship since the bill was placed in front of me."
"Wear pink or similar colours, although it definitely is my color."
"Yep, got made fun of a lot for wearing pink, purple, yellow, teal, etc. I look damn good in them though, especially in summer where I get really tan."
"Just want to say that I do wear pink and other similar colors despite what people say, no need to be supportive, also cheers for the upvotes."
Oh what a time...
"80s kid here. Anything involving showing emotion is gay. Wearing any clothing that isn't muted is gay. Stating that something is cute is gay. Getting excited about hobbies is gay. Calling your guy friends to talk is gay. Crying is gay. Airing grievances of everyday life is gay. Washing your butthole is gay. Shaving anything other than your face and neck is gay."
The Menubananas GIFGiphy
"Eating bananas, hot dogs, popsicles, string cheese, using a straw, hugging other men, touching feminine hygiene products. This is the one that kills me; letting your 3 yo daughter do your hair, makeup and nails."
Wow. We really need some therapy because all of these acts are just human behavior.
Wear pink. Eat popsicles. And enjoy being comfortable in your sexuality, whatever that may be.
I've always enjoyed jobs sans creepy side effects.
Work can be hard enough.
Besides, I've waited too many tables to deal with anymore drama.
Isolated jobs are always spotlighted on true crime shows.
Give me some light and an annoying group of tourists.
Or shall we say... witnesses.
Redditor shafaatkhan007 wanted to hear about all the scary moments that have occurred:
"Redditors who work at remote places like forest officers, oil rig workers, etc, what creepy things have you noticed while at work?"
I don't even camp. No forest for me.
Big Cypressgaboon viper earth GIFGiphy
"I used to work out in the woods in Florida a lot. Creepiest thing would be this day we were working near Big Cypress, tromping thru the brush all day."
"At the end of the day my coworker and I do a quick drive thru of some of the property and realize the place was absolutely infested with water moccasins. We had been unknowingly essentially walking around a giant water moccasin pit all day. That one kinda f**ked me up."
"I worked at a public forest. One day we had someone report a dead animal on the side of one of our trails. A few of us from the front desk hiked out to see what it was. It looked like a giant peice of... liver maybe? Just a pile of smooth red meat...no blood around. And it was wrapped up in a t shirt, with some coins scattered around it."
"We called our rangers to go check it out, and one of them was pretty sure it was a placenta. The weird part is, you have to check in thru a front desk. So someone either snuck a placenta/liver in or gave live birth/removed an organ on our trails. We never got an answer on what the pile of meat was, how it got there, or why."
We felt pretty dumb...
"I do a lot of stream work so I spend time out in pretty rural areas walking streams and rivers. Once my coworker and I were working in a more urban environment and came across what we initially thought was a body - which of course triggered 'Oh sh*t!!' from us - but it ended up being a firefighter's dummy that had fallen down a hill. We felt pretty dumb."
"Other notable things include a small grave in the middle of nowhere for someone's dog (pretty sad), and a stuffed rabbit with shotgun shells placed where its eyes should be, a mannequin very purposely placed in a chair in the middle of the woods, and lots of little random alters."
"I also did work in Myrtle Beach (what a hell hole) and accidentally walked into an inhabited homeless camp. I was peering into a stormwater grate when I looked up and saw a homeless person standing in his shelter staring at us and saying nothing. I felt like I was trespassing so we quietly left."
Built in China...
"On our drill ship that was built in China, we noticed on the drawings there was a room. We went to look at it and couldn't find an entrance but the spacing was obvious there was an extra room. It might not sound so creepy unless you've been in these shipyards where two things are known to happen: stowaways, although I doubt it in this case, but also hundreds of workers at any given time following orders blindly."
"So we confirmed that the room had all six sides, yet not a single weld on the outside. There is only one way this could've happened and I'm sure you're starting to get it now. They must have welded from the inside for this room and then realized they had no way out upon completion if the gasses didn't kill them first."
"Its' extremely heavy around that room. People say they hear things. I have definitely. This isn't some old ship either. I rode this ship from China to Amsterdam after completion and then the maiden voyage to America. I guess it happens quick."
ScreamScream GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I've been fishing out in the gulf of Mexico where they have some oil rigs. This rig wasn't being used (from what we knew) so we would get pretty close to it to fish for red snapper."
"While we were out there, we could have sworn we heard screams of a woman over and over. It was some crap but the explanation was the wind making the noises as it blew through the rig. Well, that's what we were told but it totally creeped us the f**k out."
Those oil rigs are dangerous. I couldn't handle that.
The Escortpolar bear penguin GIFGiphy
"I work as a polar bear guard. As in, I escort people across tundra and mountains and protect them from polar bears. I once saw a snowman totem with reindeer antlers coming out of his head. It was deformed, full of bullet holes and rather creepy."
"My mom used to live in a small town in the cascade mountains and worked as a forest ranger. The creepiest thing that happened was when the oldest male ranger kept hitting on her and trying to get her to come home with him, not very out of the ordinary, but many years later after she’d left the town she found out he had been convicted of manslaughter and had killed a young female ranger right before she got hired. She would have probably been his next target."
"Some friends and I were fishing a small pond just after dark for catfish. We started to hear sounds coming off the water like someone throwing softball sized rocks, but they were coming from all over the pond. We thought someone was messing with us and we called out a few times for them to stop, but we eventually got freaked out and left."
"Cut to a few years later, I’m fishing a different pond and hear the same sound. Turns out it was a beaver slapping it’s tail on the water to drive me from it’s territory. When beavers become problems in rivers, they relocate them to ponds in town."
When in the Gulf
"I used to work in the Gulf of Mexico on oil rigs for years, and it may not exactly be creepy, but I found it really unsettling. In deep, open water, the water itself is really clear, so everyone can plainly see all the tuna and barracudas hanging around the rig waiting for the onboard cook to throw off whatever food waste he needs to. Every once in a while a huge great white shark would swim up from underneath and snatch a tuna and it really took like less than a second. They're really scary."
Being WatchedWait Goodbye GIF by Silicon ValleyGiphy
"I work off a secluded/Wooded area here in Texas."
"Every now and again when I finish with a job site, I’ll pop into the head office. It’s the creepiest feeling at night, mostly no light and I’ve seen a bobcat a couple of times. The kicker is... the walls are all glass, so when I have the light on inside... I know I’m being watched by someone or something."
Don't work in the quiet places. Or at least be near cell reception.
Too many times I've sat in a job interview and knew in my gut I should be running for the door.
I'm not alone in this experience.
I didn't take all of those jobs, but I took more than I should've.
I never give my gut and the red flags enough credit.
That's why I work from home now with two dogs.
And even that isn't drama-free.
Redditor pbourree wanted to hear about the times they had an eerie feeling about the place they were thinking about working at.
"What are subtle red flags at a job interview that say 'working here would suck?'"
I once went on an interview that turned into a therapy/meditation session.
GenerousBored Season 3 GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"They told me all about their generous severance packages. In the initial interview. Turnover city."
sparks in their eyes...
"I always ask about training and learning curves. Every job I’ve had that went wrong- I notice that when that question came up they stumbled. The current job I have, when I asked the question they had sparks in their eyes as they explained the whole process from day 1 of shadowing to the transition to working solo. And even when Covid hit they managed to continue without skipping a beat."
"'Well, the overtime isn't mandatory, but most folks stick around after hours most days.'"
"Spoilers: The overtime is mandatory."
"The most terrifying thing is that in any places, the managers won't even need to encourage/threaten you to work overtime. Your coworkers will shame you for 'leaving early' if you leave right when your working time is over."
"'Overtime isn't mandatory. By the way, remember your performance review is coming up.'"
"Was interviewed by a Senior programmer and the department head. The department head was continuously making condescending remarks towards the other interviewer. Poor guy just sounded broken. Hope he's somewhere else now."
"Years ago I was told by a manager that he needed some help with a technical interview. This manager was not especially skilled, so I ended up conducting the interview. When it was the time for goodbye the candidate offered me his business card and the manager commented in front of him with 'funny how he's given his business card to you, when you are basically irrelevant.' I could see the guy cringing so hard at that point and he was obviously right."
YES PEOPLE!Yes Man Nod GIF by DEEPSYSTEMGiphy
"Besides always hiring, they seem almost overly eager to say, 'Yes, we could do that!' to everything you ask. No job will have literally everything you want, and if your gut is telling you they seem to be promising a bit more than they can offer, they likely are."
All I can say is "Been there/done that!" I've been on all of these interviews.
"My favorite is 'there's a lot of people waiting in line to work here, count yourself lucky. Huge red flag."
The Final Capper
"I had an interview once, the owner of the company told me he was going to hire me, let the man in the office train me, then fire that man once I was up to speed. He also told me that sometimes employees have to hold their paycheck. And the final capper, (not that I needed it, I had already decided not to work for him) was he told me I looked like his nephew. I am female."
"Once an interviewer straight up asked me if I had any trouble working for free on weekends... I told them my free time is more valuable than anything and that the only way that I would work a weekend is if they are paying me and if I felt like working a weekend. She got really mad at me and ended the interview right away. Biggest red flag I’ve ever seen because they didn’t even try to hide it."
What we Expect!
"We cater lunch and dinner for our whole team! Sounds like a positive, but what it means is, 'We expect you to be working past dinnertime hours, and there will be a lot of social pressure to never leave, and to socialize with the team well past working hours. We don't understand that anyone might want a life outside of work.'"
Less of a problem now, hopefully, but in the tech bro heyday, this was super common."
Drama FreeBraxton Family Values Drama GIF by WE tvGiphy
"At my current job, after my interview the manager said ‘just don’t get involved in the staff drama and you’ll be fine.' It has not been fine."
Go with your gut. You always know at hello.
We all need a paycheck but we don't need that much drama to go with it.
Do you have similar red flags to share? Let us know in the comments below.
It's hard out there if you're trying to date.
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge... none of these things have helped people connect as much as they'd like to—and countless people have shared that swiping, swiping, swiping on these apps has been detrimental to their mental health—though there are of course many success stories.
Since dating is so hard, it stands to reason that people would want to poke fun at it. We laugh so we don't cry, as people shared with us after Redditor DOMINOES asked the online community,
"What is the best way to respond to 'Is this a date?'?"
"I once said..."
"I once said 'it’s a business proposal.' We didn’t date for long."
Hopefully her sense of humor at least jived with yours.
"Yes Laura, we've been married for 1.5 years, it's safe to say we're dating."
To quote Casually Explained, "Yeah you really can't be too sure, it might be dark in the room and she can't see you properly, maybe she's from Canada and just being polite."
"“One minute, I have to ask Reddit what they think."
But the answer is always "divorce."
"No, this is a robbery,” then proceed to rob."
"No, this is Patrick!"
The only way to respond to that.
"I don't know."
"I don't know. Let me check the ISO 8601 documentaton."
This is a next-level reference. Well done.
"Do you want..."
"Do you want it to be one?"
The obvious answer. Be sure that your answer is, "Okay, it's a date" if the other person wants it to be one.
Otherwise, just say no.
"Always answer an uncomfortable question with an equal or more uncomfortable question."
This sounds like the beginnings of a war.
I'm here for it.
"Everything's a date. That's how calendars work."
Oh, dear. You're a total smart-aleck, aren't you?
"I think it's a prune, actually."
Narrator: It was a fig.
"I actually had this happen once. I said, “Why, yes it is.” Anyways, we’ve been married 5 years now."
Now this is the happy ending we like to read about! Your boldness paid off.
If you're having trouble putting yourself out there, perhaps some humor could break the ice. And if it's all imploding, you have nothing to lose by pulling any of these snarky responses out of your back pocket.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!