Labels are incredibly useful for things like organizing your canned goods, knowing what protein/marinade combo you've got in the freezer, finding the right haircare products - that sort of thing.
Not necessarily so useful or appropriate when it comes to human beings.
Reddit user UltimateDiscordMod asked:
"What do you hate being labeled as?"
So here's the thing - there are some labels people just flat out HATE.
Having no control over the way someone perceives you is irksome, at best. But in these cases it's something more.
Let's take a look.
Shy
"Shy. For the love of god stop labeling me as shy just cause I don't feel like talking to you."
- brisnoctis
"Came here to say this."
"I wouldn't mind being labeled as quiet, which is almost the same thing. But 'shy' often has a slightly infantilizing side to it. Like I'm some kind of scared cute little creature."
"There's really no need to talk to me like I'm a lost child at the supermarket, I'd just rather listen than talk right now."
"I also feel like once people have categorized me as shy, they assume I don't have anything meaningful to contribute to the conversation, and I feel like they're not really paying attention to what I'm saying when I do speak. Which is a shame because I really like to talk and give my opinion on things once I feel comfortable."
- migzard
Shy GIFGiphyUseless
"Useless."
"It's a word I've been labeled as multiple times throughout my childhood by certain family members. Absolutely ruined my self esteem."
- crowdfear
" 'Oh you aren't helping ME out with every little problem I should be dealing with!? You're useless!!!!!!!' "
"I hate that sh*t."
- Solitary_Stars
"Then again, it's not like you are an instrument or a tool to anyone."
" 'Useful' is not a term you'd want to use for humans, let alone 'useless.' "
- TreborNuh
GiphyThat Southern Sound
"When people hear my southern accent and learn I'm from Alabama, I'm automatically labeled as less intelligent."
- boadicea-h5
"I live in Florida and people sorta just invalidate the possibility of me having brain cells just because I'm a 'Florida man.' "
- PsychologicalArm8990
"Man I feel this one."
"I'm from a tiny mountain town in North Carolina and once, when I was describing my hometown, I was asked if I even went to school."
"I was like ???? Girl what! this isn't the 1800s."
- psb811
"I'm from West Virginia and once got a similar reaction from a girl that I was talking to from California. She was asking me if I could read and stuff like that, and had all this pity for me."
"When I explained that I went to school and could read she didn't take it as that just being normal, but that I had broken out of the stereotype and achieved something not many people do where I'm from."
"I was just like holy sh*t how are people this ignorant? lol."
- DevilsNDeepBlueSeas
wwe the wrestling album GIFGiphyAlcohol Issues
"Alcoholic."
"Haven't had a drink in 9 years. I'm a lot of other things beyond just a guy who once had a drinking problem."
"I don't know why for some people that's the centerpiece of my identity."
- boeheim03
"Well, in my opinion it keeps it real. I'm an alcoholic and part of that is knowing I can't drink because of my genetic predisposition, illuminated by my past is a powerful deterrent."
"It's when people forget how bad they got that they do it again. Just like the cycle of economic strife and the subsequent rise of populism nationalism and fascism."
"Revisionist history serves no one."
- ericdevice
"Dude same. My mom and brother are super into AA and the way they talk about me and my sobriety drives me nuts. AA people are actually the worst. And I say that as a former AA guy."
"I actually believe that sticking hard to that label (which is a HUGE part of AA recovery) keeps people sick, in a way, and prevents them from truly healing."
- Sentientdoing
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphyBig Doesn't Mean Violent
"I'm a big person an people automatically assume that I'm aggressive and violent."
"I don't like having to explain that I have no desire to cause anyone pain, I feel like that should be expected of common people. I can't control how big I am, it's not an indicator of my violence level or anything like that."
- Aggravating_Bat1786
"I'm 7 foot 1 and am not a skinny dude. I'm also Black and I have a lot of tattoos."
"People will switch sides of the street when I'm walking down the sidewalk. But really I'm a gentle dude and I've never hurt anybody nor have any desire to."
"Sometimes it hurts my feelings but at the same time I get it."
- umbrella_CO
"There's a guy who works at my local dog shelter who looks like a hairless bear with more defined biceps."
"Nicest guy. Has my preferred breakfast saved for me whenever I'm late. Two small pups at home. Genuinely curious, thoughtful, progressive, insightful, and articulate."
"Looks like a Rocky villain. Or a Mortal Kombat character."
- Lucky-Definition-189
Animated GIFGiphyPants On Fire
"A liar."
"Trust is the most important thing to me, and I make a point of being honest. When someone goes off on me and calls me a liar (either to cover their ass or just because they do not want to admit their data is inaccurate) it is deeply insulting."
- 8dogsinatrenchcoat
"This, this right here."
"It quickly leads to a short fuse for me because I also make a point to be honest. I've stopped talking to many people because they're pathological liars, blatantly."
"I've been told I'm 'too honest' whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. To call me a liar is wild."
- Simpl3Nik
"I once been called a liar/cheater by a high school teacher. The sole argument and evidence was that they believed I couldn't have realistically done that great on the assignment."
"I had to argue with her for 15 minutes that it was, indeed, possible for me to achieve success."
"Made me hate being labeled as a liar as well as a loser."
Kristen Wiig Wow GIF by Where’d You Go BernadetteGiphy- ExWeirdStuffPornstar
"I feel the same, but for a different reason."
"I was a liar. I grew up in a situation that pushed me to lie to protect myself."
"As a teenager and young adult I lied a lot. About anything and everything. To everyone, myself included. I believed some of the lies, I told them so much."
"Toward the beginning of my current relationship, I realized that I wanted to be honest with my partner. I started trying not to lie to her, and coming clean when I did."
"Through this, over the first couple of years of our relationship, I kicked dishonesty. The desire to lie to protect myself is still there sometimes, but I'm conscious of it and I do not lie anymore."
"Being called a liar now irks, because I've put forth (and continue to put forth) so much effort to be honest, something that is genuinely difficult for me sometimes. With one little word, a decade of concentrated effort can feel invalidated."
- Darkhymn
"It's funny because the people who hate being called a liar the most are either honest Abes or mind-numbingly conniving sociopaths."
"I had a close friend who scammed me for thousands of dollars via lies. He had this almost-famous phrase he was always saying:"
" 'I've got thick skin. You can call me a lot of things and I won't care. But if somebody calls me a liar I won't take that. I'm always getting in trouble because I tell it like it is so I won't be accused of being a liar.' "
"Turns out he's a heartless con man so people calling him a liar is bad for business."
- lasertits69
"My ex had a similar stance on this."
"Which would have been fine except for the fact that she was a compulsive liar. It made it incredibly difficult to approach her about something she lied about."
"Crazy right?"
- Classssssic"
People Break Down The Nicest Celebrities They've Ever Met | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
They always say, "don't meet your heroes." But here's the thing, sometimes your celebrities are actually just chill, normal people who are overjoyed to meet ...Casual Racism = Racism
"Different from most Black people or pretty for a Black girl."
"My little sister gets that a lot. She'll say something awful back like 'I got lucky, my mom is light skinned.' "
"What's sad is some people still stay clueless that she is sarcastically pointing out the racism and agree with her!"
- Pscilosopher
"I feel this so f*cking hard. I also get 'one of the good ones' and 'you talk white' a lot too."
- ImJadedAtBest
Thats Racist GIFGiphy"This would describe how everyone always seems to describe me. They always act offended when I tell them I find it insulting and nonsensical."
- mrockracing
"A friend of mine posted about how much he hates it when people refer to him as being the whitest Black guy they know and thinking it's a compliment."
"It clearly implies that there's something wrong with being Black. Things like that are not uncommon and really shows how ignorant people are when it comes to race."
- LobotomistPrime
Physically Small Doesn't Mean Emotionally Small
"I hate being labelled cute when I'm angry and having my feelings completely invalidated because of things I can't control like my stature and appearance."
- milkywaymistress5
"This sh*t irks me."
"It stopped me from getting a few jobs that I really wanted because people didn't take me seriously. You've really gotta prove yourself when people think you're just 'small and cute' and nothing more."
- Own-Researcher-5507
"I felt that. I'm rather small and I have this young looking face that make people think I'm just sooo cute and adorable."
"My sister is taller and has a more adult face. We can have the exact same angry behaviour/reaction to something and we get completely different results."
"She has her concerns considered and addressed whereas I am dismissed or infantilized."
"If I get angry I'm either 'cute' or brushed off because 'How can such a small thing be so angry?' "
"Actually, that's the attitude with every emotion. As if being physically small makes your emotional range smaller."
- Ledifen
tinkerbell GIFGiphyLiving In Japan
"A weeb."
"I've lived in Japan going on 30 years and never had the slightest interest in anime. In the early 90's it hadn't reached US shores yet."
"The real boom happened around 1996 or whenever Pokemon hit North America and the internet fueled a thermanukular asplodey of nerdity after that."
"Until then, it was small quiet enclaves of Studio Ghibli enthusiasts, but now you have entire sections at Barnes & Noble and cable channels dedicated to it, and good Lord did it bring the tourists vaulting over the turnstiles in crazed cultural consumption sprees. And blah blah blah."
"A quarter century later I can casually mention where I've lived for over half my 51 years and nearly always get a response containing some obscure Martian J-pop-culture reference I have no idea how to form a conversation around."
"I came to Japan for a reason and anime ain't it. I was looking for a job in the budding IT industry, not a waifu."
- the2belo
Pokemon Taking GIFGiphy"This one!"
"I have a masters in Japanese history and lived there on an off for years. I do watch some anime but not very much. I specialized in pre-modern history, my nerd specialty is gender performance in Kabuki, not animation."
"I'm not weeb, I'm a historian. I still jokingly call myself one sometimes though…"
- ParadoxInABox
"Picky"
"Picky."
"I am an grey romantic asexual person which means I don't experience sexual attraction and I rarely experience romantic attraction."
"I'm in my late twenties and I've definitely been romantically attracted to one person, not so sure about the other two people. It's a maybe? It's unclear."
"For me being 'picky' is having people you are attracted to and finding faults with them. Whereas I go on dates and meet lovely people but I ultimately feel nothing for them."
- DuckiesBeDamned
Twd Nothing GIF by The Walking DeadGiphyBooked Seats Don't Mean Racism
"I was accused of being racist at work (flight attendant) recently."
"An Indian family had booked the last row and were sat together. The passenger in front had two seats booked for him and his partner and they chose to lay down together on their seats."
"Said family at the back accused me of being racist because I wouldn’t force the couple to move out of their booked seats so the family could lie down instead."
"I completely understand that there is a huge issue with racism, but it’s definitely not something to hide behind to try to get your own way."
- jack172sp
hasan minhaj no GIF by Patriot ActGiphyDon't Throw The Label Around
"OCD."
"Society throws around this label waaay too much. I don’t have OCD because I like to keep my house clean or color-code my clothing."
"A close friend of mine suffers from severe OCD and it’s a LOT different from what society labels it as."
"Someone being neat is one thing, but OCD isn't something to be made light of. It's a serious struggle."
- Curlyhairdontcarex
Clean Up Cleaning GIF by Bear HandsGiphyHomeschooled
"I was homeschooled up until college."
"A lot of people assume I have a disorder (autism downs etc.), that my mom taught me sex Ed the 'intimate way,' or other generally stupid, disgusting, or ridiculous thing about me being weird."
"The only mental issue I have is occasional depression (just like everyone else) and I missed out on some phrases that were popular as jokes for people in middle school."
"I’m introverted but I socialize well do well in my engineering classes and have a normal relationship with both parents. I'm no weirder than the rest of you."
- dalawre
weirdos GIFGiphyCombat Sports
"People assume I think I'm some badass bro or hardo because I do combat sports. I hate that."
"I'm a f*ckin neeeerrrrrd. I can blather on and on about fighting technique the same way I can blather on about Warhammer."
"The sports I like are just one more thing to geek out on."
"Don't think for one second that I'm willing to fist fight someone over liquor induced drama either. I don't wanna get stabbed, shot, arrested or kicked in the head by a friend of the person I'm fighting."
"I hate confrontation. If I get in a situation, I'm dropping to my back."
- liquorlanche617
Muhammad Ali Boxing GIFGiphyI'm Not 5
"An autist or autistic."
"Though not inaccurate as I have high functioning Aspergers, the way people treat autism like a disease that needs to be cured, or make it clear they think I'm completely incompetent by treating me like I'm 5 is flat out insulting."
"Many people often guess that I'm on the spectrum and either treat me like I'm a toddler or try to sell me on bullsh*t 'cures' for all sorts of diseases while painfully emphasizing the part about autism."
"I don't need to be 'cured.' Stop doing this to people."
- Some_Tiny_Dragon
Eyeroll Reaction GIFGiphyI Just Have Bad Eyesight
"A geek or nerd."
"I have a huge respect for geeks and nerds, but I’m not one. Honestly, I’m pretty sure geeks and nerds would be dishonored to have someone like me associated with them."
"I’m only labeled as a geek or nerd because of the fact that I wear glasses. Which I only wear because I have bad eyesight. I’m not even smart."
"But yeah it gets annoying."
- VoiceOfNoOneNNN
Glasses Seinfeld GIFGiphyPersonally, I relate HARD to the cute one. I'm (well) under five feet tall and I'm often dismissed as cute rather than having my concerns actually addressed if I'm dealing with someone in person.
I've been working on the internet since 2009, in part, to avoid dealing with it. And the petting. People would CONSTANTLY pet me like I was the office mascot.
I'm older, wiser, and way less shy about speaking up now, though, so I don't imagine things going down the same way if I ever go back to office work.
But please don't make me go back to an office.
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Small Upgrades That Actually Made A Huge Difference In People's Homes
Reddit user Super_dupa2 asked: 'What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?'
Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.
Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.
Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.
Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"
Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:
"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"
We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.
Taking Charge
"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."
– ihadtowalkhere
"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."
"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"
– nicktam2010
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."
– blehbleh1122
"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."
– BunjaminFrnklin
"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."
– TryUsingScience
A Cool Idea
"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."
– jermleeds
"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.
– cantwejustplaynice
No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.
No More Slamming
"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."
– AreWeCowabunga
"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"
– PinkHamster08
Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick
"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."
– maartenvanheek
"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."
– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig
Perfect Welcoming Gesture
"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."
– YouInternational2152
It's electrifying!
Think Smart
"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."
– Revolutionary-Try746
"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."
– cppadam
Things Are Looking Bright
"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."
– SnooCauliflowers9981
Energy Conservation Option
"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."
– AmazingAsian
Creating an environment can make a huge difference.
Source Lighting For The Win
"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."
– ShoesAreTheWorst
Home Art Gallery
"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."
– GinGimlet
"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."
– Triolion
One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.
The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.
There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.
Game changer.
"Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl, I'm the center of Daddy's world..." ~ "Daddy's Girl" by Red Sovine
A lot has been written about the bond between fathers and daughters.
But there's always room for improvement, right?
And who better to offer constructive criticism than daughters?
Reddit user Bluemonday82 asked:
"Daughters of Reddit: what's the biggest mistake dads make with their daughters?"
Affection
"My dad and I recently talked about how he stopped showing physical affection when I hit puberty (20 years ago). He didn't know how to act because his sisters got treated inappropriately by others when he was young, and he wanted to be sure I never felt like that."
"It resulted in me never getting hugs or kisses on the cheeks anymore. He also didn't know how to talk about it in the past."
"But in the last years, he worked through so much of his rough childhood and really learned to express himself better. He apologized, and I said I understood and that his intentions came from a good place, that the only bad thing was all the hugs we missed out on."
"We hugged for a really long time after that, and we've been hugging extra tight ever since."
"So I guess what I wanna say is, don't treat your daughters differently when their bodies start to change. And always keep talking!"
"I'm so proud of my dad for the person he's become."
"For a while, I didn't wanna hug my dad either. Puberty was rough for me, and the adults in my life kept acting like it was just a phase."
"And I guess it was, but that doesn't mean it wasn't the most emotionally complicated and lonely period of my life. The feelings weren't less real."
"My dad and I struggled a lot. He didn't know how to express himself at all, and I was so overwhelmed I didn't know either."
"I also grew up with two autistic brothers who needed a lot of care and attention. I love them so much, but it resulted in me always looking out for them and never learning (until just a few years ago) to properly give space to my own inner turmoil."
"My brothers were never physically affectionate either. But once I got out of the heaviest puberty years, I did want that affection from my dad. For a while, male physical attention was a very complicated topic for me."
"A Christian upbringing also played a role in that cause as a young girl growing into a woman, it had a lot to say about how I should behave around men."
"Something important to add is that my dad's rough childhood not only made it hard to show love but also receive it. His journey started with the realization that he had no idea how to react to getting compliments."
"I think that's a thing that a lot of men (from his generation especially, but also younger ones) will recognize. Know that we are all deserving of love and kindness, especially from our loved ones, but even more so from ourselves!"
"My dad couldn't ever have grown this much without learning to really understand what that means. And diving into the withholding of love from his parents heavily impacted how he dealt with that himself."
"I'm so glad my dad and I could both grow and work through our issues. Even if he couldn't show or say it, I never really doubted his love for me."
"But I know he would encourage you all to learn how to show and receive appreciation! That man is my example for people never being too old to learn."
"I'm sending love and strength to all of you who struggle with this in one way or another."
"And to the fathers who feel like their young kids don't want their affection, just know that this will most likely change again over time. They might act like they don't wanna hear it, but keep letting them know you're there for them."
~ yuffieisathief
Showing Up
"The one mistake my dad made was not really being present. A lot of the memories I have of him are him watching TV or being on the computer and not having time to play with me."
"He always said he’s too tired or he’ll come play later but then he never did. So since we never really bonded when I was little we weren’t all that close as I grew older either."
~ katie__kat
Communication
"Getting angry for something the kid doesn't know, and never teaching it. Not before and not even after getting angry.
"Doing something you know upsets the kid on purpose."
"Slamming doors and stuff in the house because you're angry."
"Not listening, and talking only to make themselves look smart and great parents rather than talking for helping."
~ yoyuayu
"I'll never forget the time my dad saw me put something metal in the microwave. I don't know how old I was, but I know I needed to push a chair to the counter to even reach the microwave."
"He SCREAMED at me for several minutes about how STUPID I was and how he couldn't believe I would do something SO INCREDIBLY DUMB and was I trying to start a fire??"
"I had no idea you weren't supposed to put metal in a microwave."
"I did learn a few things that day- don't put metal in the microwave and don't do anything wrong in front of Daddy. Oh, but you won't know if was wrong or not until too late..."
~ DrScarecrow
"Didn’t have to look very far to find the description of my dad—especially slamming doors and hitting things loudly when upset while stomping all over the house."
"People always get a kick out of how jumpy I am (easily startled), but it’s reflexive from anticipating loud bangs/crashing that would come out of nowhere every day."
~ ouija__bored
"My dad had such a short temper. He didn't necessarily hit me, but I got spanked til I was 9 years old and then my mom told him I was too old for that."
"But whenever he was angry (and that was a lot of the time) he'd scream and sometimes slam things."
"My husband slammed his hand onto the table a couple times during fights near the beginning, but realized he was wrong for acting like that, especially seeing how I'd immediately shut down. He's gotten much better."
~ Educational_Cat_5902
Being Your Child's Bully
"Singing in a falsetto voice and poking until your autistic kid is screaming at you to stop isn’t 'fun' or teaching them to be less sensitive, it’s why they don’t ever want to hang out with you."
~ Redqueenhypo
"Making fun when your small daughter is having big feelings."
"I got so furiously frustrated when my parents wouldn't listen to what I was trying to tell them and my dad just loooooved to mock my crying or squeaky 'upset' voice back at me."
"It made me so f*cking hurt and angry to not only be ignored and patronized, but actively MOCKED when I tried to communicate."
"Now as an adult I don't bother trying to share anything with them."
"Another classic was when I was disappointed and said, 'aww, man' he'd scrunch up his face, raise his voice three octaves, and 'AwW mAn!!' back at me."
"So now I wasn't just sad and disappointed, but sad, disappointed, and humiliated!"
"Imagine choosing to be your child's first bully... 😞"
~ Not_a_werecat
Just a Girl
"Or from my experience—not even bothering to teach anything because Dad assumes his daughter wouldn't be interested because she's a girl."
"Worse—actively making sh*tty jokes about women not liking those things."
~ Cinnapuns
"Not having anything to do with their daughters because the dad 'doesn't have anything in common with a girl'."
"This goes double if a son shows up and the dad is really involved in the son's life."
~ Dangerous_Contact737
Puberty Isn't a Disease
"My dad basically bailed on parenting once I hit puberty."
"Like, you think I’m enjoying this? It would have been great to have another supportive adult around."
~ captain_flasch
"Same! What’s up with that?"
"I remember having a good relationship with my dad as a child but he emotionally cut me off and stopped hanging out with me when the boobs came in."
"I would be lying if I said that I’m past it and it doesn’t f*ck with my head still."
~ Pandapartyatmidnight
Know Nothing
"Literally knowing nothing about their daughters lives."
"Those ‘funny’ videos where they ask fathers basic questions—like what their daughter's birthday, or eye color, or school is—and the dads have no idea are not at all funny.
"I love my dad but he can’t tell you anything about me—even the name of the place I’ve worked for over 6 years."
~ Lazylioness17
"One year when I was in elementary, my mom left a comically large piece of paper on the front door for my dad telling him not to forget to wish me a happy birthday."
"Not only did he not wish me a happy birthday, but he somehow didn’t see the gigantic sign when he walked in the house from work. So I got to read it when I got home from school."
"Sometimes I think about calling him to check in but then I think of that (and other complete fumbles) and then I just don’t."
~ TetonsTeaTin
"When I was in 4th grade, we did a Christmas recital where all the classes sung songs. My mom couldn’t make it because she had work so she sent my dad with the camcorder."
"He recorded the wrong kid. Very awkward watching the tape that night."
~ myturtlebitme
The original poster shared their reason for asking his question.
"Wanted to add that I'm a dad of a teen and that motivated me to ask this. The replies are just heartbreaking."
"I'm reading every single reply and I really hope all the dads and parents and basically everyone is learning something."
~ Bluemonday82
"Dad of an almost 4 year old daughter with two older brothers…. I’m scouring this post like there is cash on it somewhere."
~ Feeling_Advantage108
"I’m doing the same thing, stepdad that adores both my boy and girl. Couldn’t have kids myself. Searching for gold on this thread."
~ Numbthumbz
And the daughters appreciated it.
"This is healing my younger self—knowing that there are fathers trying to do right by their young girls.
"I'm 25 now and I think if he just would have asked me how I was doing (and meant it) it would have changed me a lot."
~ Loniceraa
"Same. My father was cartoonishly selfish, strict, controlling and mostly only saw me as a pretty, obedient mirror born to reflect his glory. What I thought, felt, liked, or wanted mattered very little and we seldom had what I would call 'real' conversations."
"Reading the posts of all the good fathers in this thread has been wonderful."
"I'm so happy there are tons of little girls out there with fathers who want to know them and see them for who they really are, who want to teach them things and bond with them."
"My father never wanted to get to know the real me, which is a shame because I'm a f*cking delight."
~ insolentpopinjay
As the OP stated, hopefully everyone has used this opportunity to learn something.
Is there anything you would add?
People Explain Which Things They'll Never Tell Their Significant Other About
Full disclosure at all times with your significant other, right?
Yeah, good luck with that.
Let's get real—there are things we don't tell our partners for a lot of reasons.
Sometimes you just don't feel like having to explain something that doesn't really affect them.
Sometimes you're protecting them from something that will have a devastating effect on them.
These are probably going to be more that second one...
Reddit user Janine_18 asked:
"What's the one thing you'll never tell your SO?"
Love/Hate Relationship
"She loves her siblings and hates her parents."
"I hate her siblings and love her parents."
"They were very tight with their parents for the first 3 years of our relationship, and in 2017-2018 all hell broke loose so to say. My partner has no personal animus towards her parents, she is however extremely close to her older sibling who has a heap of problems with their parents."
"My partner follows their lead and it guides her own relationship with their parents. And the reason her siblings have huge problems with their parents is that they retired, moved 20(!) whole minutes away from their childhood home and went on a vacation for a month.
"They are apparently 'selfish', 'inconsiderate', and 'don’t think of themselves as parents'. This despite the fact that they call and visit for every holiday, birthday, promotion, celebration of any kind. Dog and babysit. Frequently host. Communicate well."
"No the absolute truth is that my partner's siblings are black holes and not great."
"Would 'I radically dislike your one sibling and don’t trust the other at all” be a viable middle ground?'."
~ Agreed_fact
Sweet Tooth
"A few years ago, my girlfriend put a candy bowl in our hallway at our apartment for Halloween. She came home that day to discover that nobody took any candy, and she was a little bummed."
"Over the course of that week, I'd take candy out before work or when she was asleep."
"She got so happy that 'the neighbors loved the candy'. She does this every year now, and I have to continuously swipe the candy and pretend it is the neighbors."
"It makes her happy, and I get free candy. Win win."
~ AlecsWebHair
GiphyIn It For the House
"That I know she cheated on me and the only reason I haven't left her is because the mortgage interest rates are a bit high so I can't comfortably buy her half of the equity we have in the house."
"I got a valuation, a mortgage pre-approval, and a lawyer all ready to go... But would only have about $21 per week to spare... I'd be screwed the first time a major appliance or the car breaks down..."
~ H_He_Metals
Mommy Dearest
"That her mother is a bad person in disguise of a caring and beloved figure."
~ Relative_Rich8169
"My pet name for my girlfriend is Bambi."
"She thinks it's because has big brown eyes, but really it's because I want to shoot her mother with a rifle."
~ airblizzard
Giphy"That's my mother in law. For her daughter, she'll do anything... to the point that it's overbearing and controlling and difficult to deal with."
"And for everyone else, she is one of the least empathetic people I've ever met..."
"She CRIED when Rush Limbaugh died, and she literally said the Proud Boys are like the Boy Scouts. But she'll drop $2,000 on Christmas presents for one person like it's nothing, so she thinks she's owed respect and kind words."
"I literally had to tell her at one point, 'If you want me to stop calling you a Nazi, buying me more presents or arguing with me isn't going to do it, you have to stop saying Nazi-friendly sh*t'. But she didn't stop, of course."
"She thought COVID was no big deal until a family member died of it."
"She also makes tons of snide comments about my work. I'm a lawyer in Big Law, I make great money but it's soul sucking and I never wanted to do this forever, I want to work for the government."
"She'll see a postal worker and say 'That'll be you one day, government worker, not a great way to provide for my daughter'."
"Her daughter, my wife, is a DOCTOR who is going to make more than I do no matter what job I work, and she herself is a dentist who worked until her banker husband could retire at the same time as her."
"She talks sh*t about how I made her daughter an atheist (I didn't, she did that on her own), but she herself has NEVER read the Bible and hasn't been to church in 20 years."
"She unironically believes in aliens, Big Foot, and ghosts, and thinks she saw Mother Mary in the sky."
"All the bad things I tend to think about Republicans (they don't care about an issue until it personally affects them, they have no standards except double standards, they use religion as a cudgel but don't actively live a spiritual life, they believe insane sh*t with zero evidence, they're old fashioned and judgy and can't accept that the world is changing around them, etc...) is her to the letter."
~ 2Charming-Fig-2544
Magic the Retirement Fund
"How much my Magic the Gathering collection is worth."
"They'll absolutely try to get me to sell some of it."
"It's my precious."
~ Ganthamus_prime
GiphyFirst Impressions
"When he and I first met, I was CERTAIN he was gay."
"He is very much NOT gay."
"And he will NEVER know I ever thought this."
~ ShinyIrishNarwhal
No Llama Drama
"When me and my wife first started dating, I had a dumb canvas painting with a llama and rabbit on it that I found at Walmart. I showed it to her and told her how much I loved it just because it was just such a dumb random thing to find."
"For some reason she took that as I love llamas and that they are my favorite animal. So now, every time she sees one or something with a llama on it I see her brighten up to show me and I get excited with her!"
"Llamas are not my favorite animal. Never have been. I don’t know how she made this connection, but i will never tell her otherwise because seeing her face light up every time is way better."
~ WhereTheChapstickAt
GiphyRelationship by Google
"I spend a couple hours doing research on how to make relationships work and keep her happy in the long run."
"She thinks I'm this awesome perfect guy but I just do what the internet tells me."
~ BadRobot___
Chemical Warfare
"He thinks I don’t fart around him because I’m too shy or polite."
"It’s really because they are so bad they could kill a horse."
~ Neonpantsuit
GiphyAre There Raisins?
"I don't like the potato salad she makes, and she always tries to make it as a treat for me."
"It's my mom's recipe, but doesn't taste like mom's."
~ Bean_Juice_Brew
*yawn* 🥱
"The spot you make me sleep in on the bed is uncomfortable but I lay there because you're comfortable where you are."
~ legacyrisky
GiphyConfessions
"We’re both in college, and last semester we both had a cold at some point. He had it much, much worse than I did, so I went to class and he skipped."
"Afterwards, I went to his dorm to share notes and take a nap. I was almost asleep, and I’m assuming he thought I was, because I felt him squeeze me and whisper, 'I love you so f**king much'.”
"It was the sweetest thing ever and I’m never telling him I know he did that."
~ scorpiomooon
Maybe a Farm Upstate?
"I definitely didn't kill that massive spider, and I have no idea where it went."
~ Cothak88
GiphySo, these weren't too awful, right?
What secrets are you keeping?
People's Wildest 'WTF Is Wrong With You?' Experiences
We all have that moment where someone we know says something so completely absurd, the only response we think of is 'WTF is wrong with you?'
Sometimes, it's something woefully inaccurate that you can't wrap your head around the fact that someone believes that.
Othertimes, it's something completely offensive and you regret your association with that person.
My college roommate was a girl I knew from my high school. I didn't know her too well, but we had some big things in common, so I figured it'd be fun to live with her.
This girl was half-Korean and talked a lot about racist people. At first, I let her rant, figuring maybe she or someone in her family faced some racism. I faced some myself, and I agreed with most of the things she said about racists. Eventually, however, I realized she was equating the word 'racist' with the word 'white.'
I spoke to her once, telling her she can't use 'racist' and 'white' interchangeably. She agreed to stop doing that, but within a few days, she started doing it again. She was a very bright girl, so I was a little concerned about this, especially since her own dad was white and was possibly the nicest man in the world. Not to mention, this made her and her siblings half-white too. Did that mean they were all half-racist?
I stuck by her for a while, but when she started saying things about what she wanted to do to racist people (once again using the word 'white' instead of 'racist'), I realized I couldn't be around her anymore. She couldn't talk about anything else after a while, and every time she spoke, I wanted to say, 'WTF is wrong with you?'
We did not room together the next year.
Redditors have stories similar to mine (and some even crazier), and they are eager to share.
It all started when a Redditorasked:
How To End A Friendship
"In college I used to kill time between classes hanging out with a guy who was from the same redneck county as myself. We didn’t really have much else in common, but he was nice enough and seemed eager to socialize so I figured why not. I wasn’t overly social myself and didn’t know a whole lot of people."
"One day we decided to go somewhere off-campus, and he drove us. While driving, on an interstate mind you, he proceeds to show me his handgun that he kept in his truck - not in a menacing way, but in a “Ain’t that cool?” way."
"I was not immediately frightened, but I respect firearms enough to recognize we are going like 60-70mph on an interstate in daylight, and nothing good can happen in this scenario. I calmly asked him to put it away because I was not comfortable in this situation at all. He then tells me “Oh it’s not loaded” and presses the gun to his head before pulling the trigger."
"Thank f**k he was right, but still it was a wild and frightening display of reckless disregard for his own life and mine for that matter in the event that he’d accidentally killed himself while driving us. I didn’t hang out with him much after that, certainly didn’t get in a car with him."
– omjf23
"“It’s not loaded” famous last words of many an idiot."
– GloInTheDarkUnicorn
The Worst Kind Of People
"When my dad was in the nursing home, they weren't running certain expenses, like ambulance rides, through his insurance. When I took over his financials, he was tens of thousands in medical debt that shouldn't have ever been charged to him in the first place. He was in numerous collections, and his credit score was tanked."
"When I complained to the nursing home director, he said, "Well, it's not like he's going to be buying a house or a car!" Then he laughed."
"My dad was paralyzed from the waist down and needed lifelong care, so he was never going to leave the nursing home. Even though he was technically correct, I gave him the "WTF is wrong with you look." Then I complained to HIS boss and he got canned a couple a weeks later. My dad's insurance was fixed pretty quick, too."
– MNWNM
"“Sorry, what was funny about that? Could you please explain.”"
– v3n0mat3
...Seriously?
"MIL told my wife she should divorce me bc I googled whether a lasagna should be covered with foil while cooking."
– Struggle-Silent
"This is my first laugh of the thread lmao wtf."
– koreantrvp
"It actually ruined this entire trip. It was at my BIL’s wedding, which was only close family (siblings + parents) and they had the caterer make a lasagna for an evening dinner."
"Father of the bride was gonna pop it in the oven and asked if it should be covered. I googled lasagna cooking instructions and said yes it should be covered and cooked at this temp. MIL said absolutely not!"
"Me and the father of the bride kinda gave each other a look and he covered it. MIL was furious and texted my wife that I was an a hole and she should divorce me before we had kids."
– Struggle-Silent
Hostile Work Environment
"Boss at old job told the team we needed to ‘get used to a healthy level of conflict, fear and anxiety in the workplace.’ I dipped so fast after that."
– Prestigious-Energy69
"Similarly, a boss told me that I owed him my loyalty because he was paying me."
– Kylearean
How To End A Relationship
"A girl I was with while we were still together just looked at me while I was driving to her house and said.” You know I would get over you faster than you’d get over me” I was like …… Tf did you just say?"
– omega91301
"Huh. And just like that I'm over you."
– Pineapple_Spenstar
"Honestly, that would absolutely do it for me. When I was younger, I would be stupid and hurt and argue. I'm past 50 and I got no time for that nonsense."
– Terpsichorean_Wombat
There Are Other Ways To Stave Off Boredom
"I was DD for some buddies who wanted to go to a particular dance club in Baltimore. They're all hammered, it's too loud and we've been there for several hours. Casually an older woman next to me chats me up and notices my eyes are nearly crossing from boredom. I explained what I was doing there and casually (stupidly) mentioned I'm a bit bored. This psycho BITES ME on the chest! Afterward says "Well ya ain't bored now, are ya??""
– Mike7676
"Well, were you bored after that?"
– DontWannaSayMyName
"I must say, I was not!"
– Mike7676
That Goes Both Ways!
"I'm a man who works with kids, and when I started this job, I was talking to one of my old coworkers about how every once in a while I'll get weird looks for being a man working with kids and my coworker said I deserved it because some men can't be trusted with kids. I was shocked and she went on to say that I did it to myself and deserve to be questioned about it. I immediately stopped talking to her."
– Dolhedew
"What? What in the actual f**k? Doesn’t she know there are women who can’t be trusted with kids?"
– Anonymoosehead123
That Escalated Quickly
"The lady that accused my kids of cutting the line. (They hadn't, I was watching). When I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me to go back to my own country with that sh*t. (I was born in Massachusetts.)"
"The line was to pet dogs at a Renaissance Fair."
– pasafa
Everything All At Once
"While alone with a coworker, he told me that "women in the work place will lead to the decay of the fabric of society" to me. A woman. He also asked me out, got an attitude when I didn't say yes and continues to walk around with huge incel energy. He always complains that he has no one to go home to yet refuses to look at himself as a possible reason."
– Nopeferatu31
"Sounds like they should learn something from the phrase, "if you meet one a**hole, they're the a**hole. If everyone you meet is an a**hole, you're the a**hole.""
– tmpope123
Ouch!
"I told a coworker my wife had died."
"Her response: "You're one of those bald middle aged guys with a dead wife.""
"Me: "Yeah.""
– WalrusCello
"I want to think this was a wholesome thought that came out wrong. An awkward attempt at dark humor."
– ThisUsernameIsTook
*Cringing*
"Had an otherwise normal co-worker who was completely convinced windmills will cause the earth to stop spinning."
– Shadowmant
"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"
– Torvaun
These are all crazy 'WTF is wrong with you' stories, but that last one blew my mind in 'how is it possible people think that could be true' sort of way!