When most people think about a patient lying, they assume it's because they're looking for drugs - but doctors will tell you that's not always accurate.
People will fake illnesses for all sorts of reasons, and it's not always easy to tell when it's happening. That doesn't mean doctors can't tell, though.
Reddit user JawaanTaylor asked :
Doctors of reddit what was your "this person is obviously f*cking lying/faking" moment?
Seriously - people come up with some of the absolute BEST methods of faking it. Interestingly, a few people chimed in with moments doctors thought they were faking, but they weren't. So here's what we learned, if nothing else. Guys - you can NOT fake a seizure. Even if you pee on yourself. Just don't try.
Seizures Are Hard To Fake
Patient came in with "seizures", non specific weakness, light-headedness, and numbness/tingling in her hands and feet. She gets admitted because of some electrolyte issues (not related to the neuro symptoms, these were corrected later and symptoms persisted). Sure enough on the second day she "seizes". As soon as the diazepam is pushed (before the flush is even in) she stops seizing.
This happens again 3 hours later. The third time while she was seizing we took her hand and tried to drop it on her face twice. Both times she moved her hand out of the way so it wouldn't smack herself in the face. We just stood there until she got tired of shaking. It took about 5 minutes. She left AMA a few hours later.
- ericchen
Claimed she had seizures. Then she got on the ground, started rolling back and forth shouting "LA LA LA" at the top of her lungs. Legitimately thought she fooled people.
Had a patient start seizing in front of the cops after they were pulled over for possible drunk driving. We get there and patient is still on and off seizing. We get them on the stretcher and in the back of the ambulance, surprisingly the cop joins us. As I take their arm, the shakes start up again, so I tell them, "yo if you want this medication, I need you to stop so I can start and iv real quick..." patient stops to let me start the line, and once I say I'm done, they start back up.
- g_host7
A women was "having a seizure" when the attending looked at the other doctors and said "she's faking." The women stopped mid-seizure, glared, said "no i'm not you f*cking b*tch" the continuing her seizure.
"High Up On The Lifeguard Chair"
GiphyFunniest story of my medical school career. We were rounding on the wards for a teenage son whose parents were in the room.
Dad: "Uhh, we saw our son tested positive for marijuana, this is clearly incorrect."
Attending: "There are some false positives but the test is pretty accurate."
Dad: "My son is a life guard, he would never smoke."
Son: "Yeah, I've never ever smoked" (looking scared AF)
Attending: "We can order a more sensitive test that will give a more accurate answer"
Son: "WELL..... I do sit really high up on the lifeguard chair and I think some of the kids around the pool smoke, so maybe I breathed in some of the smoke while working."
Team: Frantically ends conversation to leave the room and laugh hysterically.
They're Not Always Faking
My mother was an ER doctor, and her favorite story about an "obviously lying" patient ended up with a total plot twist.
Scruffy guy, mid-50s, comes in looking for nonspecific help. Confused, smelly, dressed in ragged mismatched thrift store suit -- clearly homeless and just looking for a bed or a fix, right? Keeps muttering something about quantum, obviously a little off his rocker.
Mom decides, might as well give him a workup and use the case to teach the residents. Turns out the guy's in near-total renal failure, so they give him dialysis.
Snaps to. Suddenly coherent. Suddenly sane. Suddenly talking about real actual quantum physics.
Turns out he's a math professor. Some organ problem sent him into a mental tailspin on his way to a conference a month earlier. In his confused state he got off the train in wrong city and had been wandering the streets ever since, missing and presumed dead.
They're not always faking.
Ruptured Pregnancy
Had a pt fake a ruptured ectopic pregnancy to get narcotics. Says she was diagnosed with an ectopic at another hospital and given medication to end it. Came in to our hospital in extreme abdominal pain, rolling around, yelling, had vaginal bleeding, the whole nine yards. Gave her a bunch of pain medication so we could get an ultrasound. Ultrasound showed nothing. Urine pregnancy test showed nothing. Beta HCG was 0..... Turns out she was conveniently on her period which made the whole thing very convincing.
Got records from the other hospital, patient had been there yesterday but was not pregnant for them, nor was she diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. Definitely was a "wow she just made up this entire thing"
We had a lovely conversation about all the results. She ended up screaming at me, threatening to sue me for all I'm worth and stormed out. Jokes on her I'm worth -$200K of student loan debt.
Comcast
I'm an EMT.
I had a woman that claimed she couldn't get up after a fall in her house. We arrived to her entire house being locked, so we called through a window that was cracked to see if there was any other way inside besides breaking through her screen.
She proceeds to stand up, go to the front door, unlock the door, walk back to where she was and lay back down. We did a generic checkup and there was clearly nothing wrong.
When she said she didn't want to go to the hospital and we were about to leave, she stopped us and asked us to call Comcast for her since we "are the EMS and are a higher priority."
- 1Darude1
Horse Sh*t
Not a doctor, but I am a patient who lied. Before my sobriety I did some "doctor shopping."
After that got hip I'd have to go around to urgent cares and stuff. I ended up "needing" something badly so went to my GP. I've been going to him for YEARS. Like since I was 18.
I told him I was sober and had tooth pain and back pain and other pains and had tried everything. Against what he was supposed to do he looked me dead in the eyes and said "both of us know what you're saying right now is complete horsesh*t."
Turns out my doctor was in AA. I ended up leaving after crying for 30 minutes. Got sober within the next 6 months. He goes to my home group and is still my doctor.
"Non-Organic Hearing Loss"
Had a patient come in for a hearing test; young guy in his mid twenties which is already unusual. Main issue is that he's getting noise complaints about his music. Huh.
No issues with his ears physically, so I do the hearing test - basically ends up with a profound hearing loss. Weird because that's basically sign-language territory there.
I walk behind him and ask him what his plans are for the evening, to which he responds appropriately.
Definitely what we call a "non-organic hearing loss". He was trying to get the results he wanted to justify being a d!ck of a neighbor.
A Scrambled Mess
3 year old having tonsil surgery, I run through my usual pre-op evaluation, history, and physical. Parents ensure that she hasn't had anything to eat or drink since the night before. Get her back to the OR, drift her off to sleep, and when I go to place the breathing tube, she vomits basically solid/completely undigested scrambled eggs and aspirates.
Surgery is canceled, we take her to the ICU. Parents obviously fed her breakfast less right before they came in. Confront the parents and they basically say they thought we were just being too mean not letting her eat for 8 hours. There is a reason we ask you not to eat for a period of time before surgery. It is not because we just like being d!cks. Listen to us, please.
- USMC0317
The Explosive Injury
I was getting the rundown on a patient once and the nurse said something about back pain and C4. Okay, he has some injury to his neck and it hurts. Nothing special.
Then I talked to the guy and nope.
He claimed someone had wired the explosive C4 into his back and:
1. It hurt.
2. He was afraid it would explode.
He wasn't a psych case. I don't know why he thought lying about explosives in his spine would be more believable than saying he was moving a couch or something, but whatever.
Code Blue
GiphyEMS here
I had a patient who was pretending to suddenly be paralyzed. Very dramatic, on the floor, saying she couldn't feel anything below her neck. After assessing her, we had her stand and get on to the stretcher. Which she did without difficulty. Despite being "totally paralyzed".
In the ambulance, she told me how she "sometimes goes code blue". And how if she "goes code blue", I must NOT rub her chest or cause her pain. The best way to revive her was to turn the lights low, and talk softly and soothingly to her. She told me all about how she "went code blue" in the hospital over a dozen times last time she was admitted, and how the doctors were so scared they almost couldn't revive her.
During transport, I asked her for her birth date. Her eyes fluttered shut and she didn't respond. We drove in silence for several minutes (while I worked on documenting the very detailed and unrealistic history/story she had been telling me).
Eventually her eyes fluttered open and her hand went to her chest. She says "oh! I think I went code blue there for a minute!"
I replied "nope! No worries, you didn't! You're totally fine and your vitals were pristine! You don't have to worry, you're safe! So what's your birth date?"
She looked super annoyed.
Non-Smoker
"No. I don't smoke!"
"OK, the results should be back within the next 10 minutes, please hang out in the waiting room"
"Can I go out for a smoke?"
Tragic Falls
My aunt and my uncle are both nurses and worked in the emergency room.
Apparently, a lot of people "accidentally" fall on things and get those things stuck in the butt.
Central Line
We had an inmate in the hospital who had a warning posted on his chart. He would go in the bathroom and come back out claiming to have vomited (I think? Maybe it was diarrhea) large amounts of blood. After a while someone found an empty, bloody syringe in his sock. He had been drawing blood from his central line to fake a bleed. So much for all our efforts to keep the central line clean.
- anngrn
Back Spazm
Not a doctor, but I was being diagnosed with what ended up being bronchitis, and the dude across from us was trying to convince his doctor that he still has excessive back pain. The dude was able to sit through reception just fine, walk with the doctor, but the second he sat down he starts complaining.
"Ah, yeah it really doesn't feel any better"
"Ooh.."
Etc etc. the doctor starts lazily talking to him and after some X-rays the doctor says nothings wrong with him and that he can transfer him to a more specialized doctor
Well, that would cost him more money, so instead of taking the high road he starts trying to convince the doctor he's hurt.
After about five minutes the dude "collapses"
"AH, AH DOC MY BACKS SPAZZING HELP! I TOLD YOU I NEED MEDICINE!"
(At this point it was blatantly obvious this dude was just flailing on the floor in an attempt to get Percocet)
The doctor starts to laugh, and the man kinda just slowly stops and starts going off on him.
"Dude, get the f*ck out of my office"
the patient went f*cking berserk
He starts walking with the doctor, cussing him out and jumping around him like he's trying to latch onto his forehead.
The doctor calls security, they take him away screaming.
Hallelujah
Corrections Officer here.
I spend a lot of time in ER's with inmates, so I've seen some pretty crazy stuff...but the best "he's totally faking it" story was from a guy who fell down the stairs in a cell block and said he couldn't feel his legs. I take him up to the hospital and the doctor is going through all sorts of tests. Guy says he can't feel anything. So finally, as the doctor is standing at the foot of the bed he gives me a sly wink and then proceeds to quickly jab this dude's foot with a long metal needle. The inmate screams, pulls both his legs back towards him and starts swearing at the doctor.
Cool as a cucumber, the doctor then says "Hallelujah! I'll get started on your discharge paperwork so you can get him back to the jail." The whole time I couldn't stop laughing!
- Ayodep
Forgetting Symptoms
I shadowed a sleep doctor who had this pretty fake patient one time.
She came in for restless leg syndrome which seems quite legitimate. Then the doctor started to question her and she kept bringing up all of these symptoms she had that clearly were not tied to RLS. She was talking about things like arm pain and chest pain and snoring.She not only started manufacturing new symptoms but suddenly when the doctor asked about the old ones again she was incredibly inconsistent in recalling them. Finally, the doctor asked one more time, "Why are you here? and she couldn't answer him.
- PlushKar
Everyone Was On To Me
This thread is mortifying to read... as a teenager I frequently faked "fits" I have no idea why just one of those attention seeking idiot things. Always thought I was convincing. This has made it abundantly clear that everyone was on to me.
- Flikapea
Virgin Birth
GiphyI'm a labor and delivery nurse. A young woman, early 20s, came to our main hospital's ED with her Mom complaining of stomach cramping. That is when she learned she was 9 months pregnant and in labor. Got sent over to the women's hospital, L&D. This young woman continually denied ever having sex - oral, vaginal or otherwise. Even after delivery she claimed it was immaculate conception. Very, very weird vibes from both her and her Mom.
We asked questions like: "Have you ever woken up and not remembered the night before?" and "Have you ever drank so much that you don't remember what happened?" because we were worried about her having been raped or assaulted. But she said she has never drank or done drugs.
It seemed like a young woman who was sexually active but didn't want her Mom to know. But her being college-aged, it seemed weird to be embarrassed about that.
Employees Of The Super Wealthy's Craziest Experiences
"Reddit user AMGBOI69420 asked: 'People who work for the super wealthy, what stuff have you seen?'"
When I was a cater waiter I saw it all.
People being flown in for entertainment.
All of the furniture in the building being replaced for one short evening.
Or buying out a building for an intimate dinner party.
It's crazy.
And I want enough money to do it too. Although I did see a ton of waste.
And I hate to waste.
Like who doesn't love a lavish wedding?
But a lavish wedding with a $500,000 price tag, and you have to be out by midnight?
That party better have had Madonna performing, live fire acts, and ice cream served with diamond spoons.
Redditor AMGBOI69420 wanted to hear about what it was like to work for the insanely rich, so they asked:
"People who work for the super-wealthy, what stuff have you seen?"
I've also had rich friends who didn't clean clothes.
They bought new every week.
You can't make this stuff up.
Musical Chairs
Make It Rain Money GIF by Tim and EricGiphy"Pumped a bunch of money into the Malibu City counsel in order to change a few seats. This would allow him to have the local ordinance changed so his front doors could be taller than 20 feet."
losthours
A Personal Willow
"Worked as one of four full-time groundskeepers at a large estate. 46 acres of lawn to mow twice a week. 2 clay tennis courts, 3 pools, one for the main house, and one for each of the two guest houses. 100+ acre private lake with boat house. No clue how big the whole estate was including the woods. My personal favorite was the 3-mile personal race track."
"But what really blew my mind was that he hosted his niece's wedding one summer, and paid $350k to have this massive willow tree trucked in and planted by the lake for wedding photos. Only to pay another $50k to have it removed and the landscaping returned to its original state after the wedding because he did not like the look of it."
Rarnah
Different Shades
"I used to work at a jeweler that sold Argyles amongst other precious things. We had one big money customer who never wore anything more than Hawaiian shirts and shorts (think on-holiday Adam Sandler) who would come in and tell us 'I’m feeling like a (color) diamond today.' And we’d show him the collection we had at the time of those colors."
"He had dozens just sitting in our vault. Loved collecting them but he never took one home. Sometimes he’d book a visit and we’d get them out of the vault for him to look at over a glass of whatever drink he felt like. The cheapest I saw him buy in my time there was $130k."
princess_bubble
I Don't Understand
"I often do work for the wives of wealthy professionals. The thing that has always stood out to me is that if I tell them that something they want isn't doable, they respond with literal confusion. It isn't anger. It's confusing. They are so unaccustomed to not being given exactly what they want that it's as if they don't understand what is happening when they are told they can't have something."
ShakyTheBear
Take This
Cash Gifts GIF by DigiGiphy"Not the craziest thing but wild to me."
"I was working for a kind of well-off family during a summer. I went inside to get a drink and the mom was cleaning the kitchen putting things away and such. She picks up a Macbook and says to me 'Hey, do you want this? No one uses it.' Got a brand new Macbook for college."
kingJoffi
I held onto my last Macbook in hopes that someone would just give me a new one.
Like on TV.
It didn't happen.
Let's Party!
Real Estate Thanks GIF by The Masters Division at Nest Seekers InternationalGiphy"I set up a party for a family out in the Hamptons that bought the house next door just to level it and set up a giant temporary party tent on the plot. Wild sh*t."
BinxieSly
Take it All...
"My brother-in-law builds custom homes in the redneck Riviera belt of Florida. One day, he called me to come over to this $15m beach house he was doing a complete remodel of. He was the original builder. He asked me to bring my truck and trailer. I show up, and he walks me through all four floors. He then says, 'The owners have removed all the stuff they want to keep. She has told me to dispose of everything as I see fit. Get what you want.'"
"Furniture, appliances, outdoor furniture, rugs, lamps, artwork, you name it. I don't know the value of everything I took home with me that day, but it was the highest-end stuff I've ever seen. FOUR floors of it, and I only got one trailer load because I simply couldn't fit anything else in my house. I likely had over $20k worth of furniture and appliances on that trailer."
Blackhawk-388
Money well spent
"Had a client come into our 3D printing office. His attention was immediately caught by a large industrial 3d printer in our showroom. Pulled out a credit card and bought a $250k machine on the spot. The best part was when we installed the machine at his facility. The first thing he wanted to print was a meter-tall penis. A few weeks after the install we got a photo of him standing next to the meter penis. Money well spent."
robertcboe
Not a Bad Dude
"An old boss did extremely well and sold off the lion's share of his ownership but wanted to stay involved in the company anyway, so he'd drive his absurd supercar to the office and just hang out. One day he came into the office and it was set up in such a way that the executive offices were in a little 2x2 office glass pod in the middle (with curtains for privacy if needed) and our rows were arrayed around them."
"I'll say this though, he wasn't a bad dude. We may not have seen eye to eye on politics but if you worked for the company he knew your name and would hang around and chat. Super generous around the holidays with time off and the big holiday party/door prizes/stuff of that nature. The company went way downhill when he finally let go of the reigns completely."
GWindborn
Money well spent...
kennedy center honors mic GIFGiphy"I moved the guy that created eBay. He had Aretha Franklin's grand piano (played it) and Elvis Presley's coat (didn't wear it)."
Interesting-Step-654
I want Aretha's piano and Elvis' coat.
I would wear the coat while playing the piano.
People say the craziest things.
Sometimes I stand in silence, my jaw on the floor, after I hear a person speak.
I hate to call anyone dumb, but let's get real.
Redditor JasperMidnight wanted to hear all the things we've heard that left us in shock, so they asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard someone say that they were 100% serious about?"
Sometimes I want to faint when I hear people speak.
Leo Lives! Then Dies!
Leonardo Dicaprio Ok GIFGiphy"English teacher here. Once, while showing my class the Leonardo DiCaprio version of 'Romeo and Juliet,' I had a student staring at the screen in utter confusion for half the movie before she said, 'How can he be in this movie? He died on the Titanic.'"
BlakeMP
Turn Around
"At one of my first jobs as a graphic designer, a client called me into his office and pulled up a photo he took. He then asked me if I could turn it around. No, not rotate it, but turn the viewpoint around. He wanted to see what was behind the camera when he originally took the photo. God, I have so many stories from that job."
HerNameIsRain
Change Direction
"A guy I work with said that a football referee runs over the distance of a marathon during a game. I pointed out that a football game was only 90 minutes long and that the marathon record was just over two hours so that would be impossible. He said it was possible, because a football referee 'changes direction a lot during a game, and it all adds up.'”
tommyhashbrown
Time Zones
"Someone I know argued with me that I do not live anywhere near Canada. He got pretty nasty about it too."
"When I showed him proof he said 'Well I only know Texas.'"
"I live right outside of Detroit, Michigan. Closer to Canada than I am to any other state."
"I have also had a few people argue with me that I do not live in the Eastern time zone. I guess they know better than someone who actually lives here."
msspider66
BRO!
Nbc GIF by SunnysideGiphy"'Yeah bro, it says carbonated because they removed the carbs' while standing in line at a drugstore. Best eavesdrop of my life."
sigmaswan35
Carbs aren't the issue we make them out to be.
They are our friends.
Back then...
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"I was on a date at an art museum. The painting tag said who it was made by the title and made Circe 1600 and she said 'Do you think the earth was even around back then? You just never really know.'"
hi_im_watson
Every Thanksgiving
"I was stationed in Germany in the late 80’s-90’s. Every Thanksgiving multiple dudes would be perplexed as to why the Germans didn’t celebrate. A dude once told me he was excited to celebrate the 4th with the Germans and asked if they did fireworks. I love you my brothers, but some of you are dumb."
420stoner332
"When I was in Germany on a rotation they actually put on an incredible fireworks display for us. So did the Afghans (who used flares from their lil lookout thingies around the fob) when I was deployed. I was astonished and then extremely touched in both scenarios."
LavishnessFew7882
Really Real.
"When I was a kid (and on and off when I was older, until after it was decommissioned) my dad worked at a nuclear power plant. I was mentioning this to a college-aged coworker at one point (I think I was telling a story about taking your daughter to work day or something) and the coworker stops me. 'Wait, those are really real?'"
'I stopped talking, at a loss for words. I then had her repeat what she wanted to know. 'Nuclear power plants are actually real things? I thought they were made up for like The Simpsons.'"
bestem
Thanks, Mr. Murphy
"In college, my teaching assistant in my dinosaur class insisted that roadrunners weren’t real and laughed at me for suggesting it as an answer for a bird that runs fast. But the real dummy was me because I’ve seen one in real life and I still said oh ok."
natsugrayerza
"In grade 6 my class read a poem about ptarmigans where every word starting with 't' was changed to 'pt'. The teacher said that ptarmigans were made-up animals. I countered that they were a type of arctic bird, so he sent me to the school library to find evidence."
"I came back with an encyclopedia and turned to the entry for Ptarmigan and he read it out to the class and told everyone that teachers don't know everything and they should never be afraid to speak up. One of the best teachers I ever had - thanks, Mr. Murphy!"
TheMightyGoatMan
Multiplies...
paul muffins GIF by Big BrotherGiphy"'Blueberry muffins you buy premade don't have any blueberries in them. Blueberries cost too much. They dye bleeds blue because they have the same texture and use them.' He has 'explained' it to multiple people multiple times."
By0z
BAD
"Maybe too obscure but anyway I was the radiation safety office for our lab group many years ago and was telling one of our more truly brilliant (not being sarcastic) PhDs that his badge came up hot, meaning his technique was BAD and he was going to have to be retrained and he said, 'It doesn't affect me, I'm done having my children.' Like being careless with radioactive isotopes can only affect your gonads and not, IDK, give you f**king cancer."
feliciates
Some people really need to think harder before they speak.
This piece is proof.
Do you have any stories to add? let us know in the comment below.
A person who loudly mouths their opinion about a certain topic with so much confidence isn't always right.
They're usually lacking self-awareness.
Or they're just being obnoxious.
We know who these people are. They are the ones who think they can get their point across effectively simply by raising their voice because that'll register.
Umm, no.
Curious to hear about the humbling behavior, Redditor Generalmogar asked:
“'The loudest voice in the room is usually the dumbest' what an example of this you have seen?"
When wanting to be heard backfires.
Stranger In A Strange Land
"When someone thinks that shouting in English at a person who does not speak English will help them understand more. 🤦🏼♀️"
– Charlotte-Milf
Family Talk
"IMMEDIATELY thought of my partner's uncle when I read the post title. He speaks at 110% volume all the time and needs a diaper wrapped around his chin to catch all the sh*t he dribbles out."
– canisaureaux
Not The Brightest
"He who laughs last laughs best. But he may get a reputation for being a little slow on the uptake."
– jackneefus
"He who laughs last, obviously didn’t get the joke."
– Excellent_Recipe240
People can be so unpleasant.
The Worst Kind Of Customer
"Anyone who has ever worked retail or a customer facing position will understand this. You as an employee have next to no power over anything apart from a bit of product knowledge to learning the basics of returns/exchanges. Any person who has worked in one of these positions can almost always count on at least once a week being faced with a colossal, screaming idiot who will fight tooth and nail over the most idiotic minutia when they are dead wrong. I don't know if it stems from a need to be correct (narcissism) or from just plain stupidity that they can never concede in a fight, but it is at least a weekly occurrence in retail."
"My most recent example was when my partner and I were in Muji, an Asian-themed home goods and clothing store. The ambience of these stores are super chill, with diffusers going, soft music, and so on. As we were coming in a woman was losing her mind on the cashier because a pair of socks scanned up at let's call it $10 when they should have been $8. Numbers are made up because this was a month or so ago. She is arguing impressively that these socks scanned up wrong and they should be free."
The cashier has the 'wut' look on her face and is calmly explaining, that no, she can get a refund for the difference. This lady was not having it, seemingly pulling what she believed was the ultimate trump card, she shouted 'well other stores have policies where they give you the wrong scanned item for free!'. The cashier again, without a breaking a sweat said 'well, that isn't our policy. I can either refund you the difference, refund you the whole thing, or you keep it as it is.' This loop went on for much longer than it had to before the angry customer relented, visibly disturbed that this made-up policy did not exist at Muji.I will add that she was talking/yelling so that the entire store could hear, of course, instead of calmy discussing the issue and taking the solution like a normal adult."
– MADEUPDINOSAURFACTS
Unsatisfied Constituent
"You know the weirdos that show up at town hall meetings? Those voices."
– Leeser
"There's a sign at Ramsett Park that says, 'Do not drink the sprinkler water,' so I made sun tea with it and now I have an infection."
– I_might_be_weasel
Losing arguments is not an option.
Default Noise Level
"My ex-husband. We couldn't discuss anything."
"His answer to every problem was just to scream over me until he got his way."
– Bebe_Bleau
Loudest Side Of The Family
"On my father's side of the family, it's somehow common practice that the one who speaks loudest has the right to speak. Was much worse with my aunt, now that her and my dad aren't talking anymore it's less people. But i still don't always get to chip in on conversations with everyone, i can talk loudly but not as loud as my dad or my grandpa. When my aunt and her husband were there, i had even less of a chance to speak. Plus It's incredibly tiring and just annoyingly loud when everyone tries to be louder than the others and talks over each other... Now i catch myself not saying anything even when I could because I'm so used to just not speaking when everyone is there."
– mycrazyblackcat
The Internet Can Be A Loud Place
"Finding out everyone on the internet is suddenly an expert in the operation, design, and recovery of deep submergence vehicles has certainly been an eye-opener."
– ExpectedBehaviour
I was driving a vanpool late at night after work and after dropping my co-workers off, I pulled into a gas station to avoid doing filling up the tank the next morning.
I just went straight to the available pump, but apparently, there was another vehicle waiting for the pump I pulled up next to.
The driver exited from her vehicle, totally irate, and started yelling at me but very slowly and over-enunciating the words, "This was supposed to be mine. I was here first!" I'm Japanese American, but I guess I looked like a foreigner to her.
First of all, I had no idea I cut in front of her at a not-so-busy gas station at 1:30 a.m., and I was too exhausted for a confrontation.
So I played the part and spoke back to her in fluent Japanese, mouthing off about what I had for lunch or something because it didn't matter.
She stormed off and muttered an ethnic slur.
In retrospect, I don't know why I didn't explain to her that I wasn't aware she was waiting for the pump. I just wanted to get home.
Thanks and goodnight.
Be it an old familiar, or a new establishment that has been the talk of the town, restaurant diners are always faced with a challenge once they are handed a menu.
Do they stick with what they know, and order the burger and fries or spaghetti and meatballs, which are both difficult to screw up?
Or do they get a little adventurous, and try the restaurant's specialité, even if it's something they've never tried before in their lives?
Generally speaking, it tends to be on a case-by-case basis based on the restaurant they are dining in.
Of course, some people have such an aversion to certain ingredients or dishes, that no matter the location, they will never order it.
"Reddit. What will you never order at a restaurant?"
Not What, But When...
"I'll never order 10 minutes before closing."- bearstrugglethunder
Speaking From Experience
"Ice in my drink."
"After decades in the industry, I've only ever seen one change the ice machine filters and clean the bin regularly."-Anna_Namoose
"I have almost twenty years of experience managing bars and restaurants."
"What do you think I won't get? "
"Stylish or not?"
"Ice."
"In everything."
"I can assure you that I have saw far more appalling ice machines in back of houses than immaculate ones."- Tricky_Routine138
ice waiting GIF by tarninabarnGiphyStay Consistent
"Anything outside of what their core business is."
"Not ordering fish at a steakhouse, a burger at a Mexican restaurant etc."- KinkyPTDoc
Why Pay For What You Can Make Yourself?
"Quesadilla."
"I'm not paying for tortillas and cheese."
"I always have that sh*t at home."- DGex
"Pasta."
"I can make it at home, I'm a decent cook and can make most pasta dishes at home."
'I eat out to have foods I can't make."
'I'm usually disappointed when I do order it."- bensmom2020
"Tuna fish sandwich."- Limp-Persimmon-5729
"A grilled cheese sandwich."
"There's just no way a restaurant can elevate it to make it worth the cost."- manderifffic
Hungry Grilled Cheese GIF by U by Kotex BrandGiphyCasear, Cobb, Waldorf...NOPE!
"Salad."
"It’s so cheap to buy the ingredients and most restaurant salad comes from a bag."
"It’s just dumb in 85% of the cases."- humancalculus
"$17+ salad."- Monowakari
Split It, Maybe?
"Oh, I've got a good one."
"Do not order the lasagna if you visit Brio Tucsan Grille."
"It's not awful, fantastic, or extraordinary; it's just normal."
"But why, you say, would you advise against eating a typical meal?"
"Considering that it contained 5200 calories. calories for two days."
"When I removed empty dishes from the table in front of guests, I would shudder."- KeyPersimmon445
If You Can't See The Sea, Maybe Avoid Seafood...
"In a location not known for its seafood, lobster."
"Where are they going to get lobster, anyway?"- WillingnessInner9666
"Rocky Mountain Oysters."- Rollin_Soul_O
Eight Is A Few Too Many Legs...
"Anything cephalopod."- FarewellMyQueen
Pbs Nature Sea GIF by Nature on PBSGiphyUnless They Pick The Leaves Themselves...
"Tea."
'Compared to how much it costs to make at home, it's stupidly overpriced at restaurants."- Pure_Block_5309
There's nothing wrong with being a picky eater.
That being said, it's always worth trying something new before deciding you don't like it.
Even if no one should blame you for refusing to order sushi at a pizza counter.