This article is an ode to the "friend-dump" and the power of growth. Boundaries are awesome, dear readers. Growth and development are awesome.
Some of these friendships, though... not awesome.
They say friendships form for a reason, a season, or a time. If we're lucky, that time gets to be a really long one - but more often than not things are going to go sideways.
Sometimes friendships fizzle out, people drift apart, maybe someone moves or gets a new job... but every now and then there's one defining moment where you look at someone and think "yeah... I'm gonna have to friend-dump you."
Reddit user FeelThePower999 asked:
"What was the moment you looked at your friend and realized they were no longer a friend and you were going to cut ties?"
Sooooo yeah... boundaries. Let's watch people plow right on through them, shall we?
We're Too Old For Shunningrachel mcadams blow kiss GIF Giphy
"She threw a big 30th birthday party for all her friends. She purposefully invited one girl she'd had a falling out with to come two hours later than the party started."
"Before the girl showed up, she told everyone that the girl was a b*tch and we should all shun her. The poor girl came in with a big expensive present, so happy that her & her where mending things, just to be ignored and belittled by over 30 people."
"The girl left crying. I left not long after and ghosted the sh*t out of my ex-friend."
"She was a minor celebrity in my country. I already saw people take a lot of bad behaviour from her before this happened, but this just pushed me over the edge. People get weird around celebrities, no matter how minor." - fluffyfluffycake
Rooting Against MeThe Princess Bride Boo GIF by filmeditor Giphy
"I was waiting for news of a big career opportunity for a few months, and the sound of relief and satisfaction in her voice when I told my friend it fell through made me realize how hard she had been internally rooting against me."
"Feeling jealous of a friend who has a good thing happen is just part of what it means to be human. But, in that moment, the fact that her response didn't seem mixed with any sympathy for my sadness made me look differently at the dynamics of that friendship."
"I think she genuinely liked me, but not being the "star" in our friendship was too much for her."
Different With An AudienceAwkward Dj Pauly D GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation Giphy
"When they started treating me different around other people."
"Together just the two of us, everything was great. In a crowd I became ignored except for when I was the butt of jokes. I'm not thin skinned, I'm not talking about not being able to take a joke."
"It's more that they act embarrassed to know me or want to distance themselves."
"You feel played, betrayed, let down and over all like a fool. I've come to realize it's 100% the other persons insecurity, though. Hurt people hurt people - and I don't have time for that insecure bull." - slugvegas
How Little InterestGo Away Reaction GIF Giphy
"I tried to talk to a guy who I thought was my friend about something going on between me and my Dad for a few minutes during a drive."
"He flat out silently stared at his phone - until I said something semi related about him. That is when he perked up and started telling me about how much money he'd made recently, and how he got all of this free weed from someone and boy was his life sweet."
"I sorta just 'mhm'ed' my way through it because it was obvious he had been ignoring me, and when he got to the end of his brag session he in all serious told me he was pretty offended at how little interest I showed in what he'd been saying." - CommercializedPan
Losing My Religionmusic video 90s GIF Giphy
"When I told them that I left my high demand religion. They said we no longer had anything in common."
"What?? 30 years of friendship over in 1 conversation?! Plus, I had been out of the religion for years, but they never knew. Our friendship was fine."
"Once official, I was 'no longer trustworthy, sinful and lost.' That was the end for me."
"It's their loss, not mine." - Gotagoodkidney
"This happened to me. My husband and I left Mormonism and our best friends (so close we were like family) ghosted us over it."
"When my husband confronted his friend about it, the guy said a bunch of vicious stuff about us and claimed they'd never really liked us. It broke my f*cking heart."
"That was more than three years ago and I still have dreams where I'm trying to reconcile with them." - Confident_Basket8694
His AlibiSeason 1 Nbc GIF by The Good Place Giphy
"We kind of fell out a while ago and haven't spoken much, but today I learned that he seems to have been using me as an alibi to cheat on his wife."
"She texted me about us having drinks the other night & we haven't done anything socially outside of work since before COVID. Without going into detail I'm certain my confused reaction blew up whatever bull he's been telling her."
"I am not in the habit of lying to people & wouldn't cover for someone in this situation unless it involved a psycho abusive spouse, a "we went on one date" stalker - that kind of thing... Even then I'd need some kind of heads up beforehand!"
"So I don't know what he's been trying to pull, but any hope of rekindling any friendship is now 100% gone. I'm not his alibi." - 3dogsinatrenchcoat
The "Backup Wife"Dean Winchester Facepalm GIF Giphy
"I had a close friend from childhood who was very into the traditional lifestyle, with wife, kids, house with a picket fence, part of the PTA and church. Even in high school."
"He would date anyone that would have him, and ignore us until they broke up and he'd come crawling back. We were best of friends so we always were glad to have him back involved in our group. He went to college literally because he was looking for a girl to marry."
"He ended up dropping out after 2 yrs, and getting a job delivering auto parts where he started dating and married his boss's daughter. They popped out 3 kids right in a row, and every time I talked to him things were "great" but he just would stop responding to me more and more often."
"He was 110% devoted to his little family which was great, but he just stopped being my friend. I'd invite him to get together and he would always just say 'oh why don't you come over here, you can see the kids.' "
"That was fine, but his wife and he would just be on me the whole time about how I'm not really an adult because I dont have a family, my job was putting my ability to have kids at risk (firefighter) and that I basically only had value if I was breeding."
"So part of the distancing was me honestly. I didn't like having to put up with that just to see my friend."
"Long story short, his wife cheats on him, they divorced and she's instantly pregnant with another guy's baby. He comes to me broken over this and we get close again. Really close."
"I drove him to therapy, watched his kids while he was laying in bed all day, unable to get up and brought food for his family."
"I opened up about why I felt we drifted apart in the first place. He actually apologized and admitted he suspected that was why. I thought I had my best friend again."
"Until he met another girl and I started seeing less of him."
"He started flaking on me to hang out. When I did come over, the remarks about 'doing the adult thing' would come out again. His new girlfriend had 3 kids too, so he started joking about being the Brady Bunch."
"I hung on trying to keep the friendship together because I felt bad for not trying enough last time, but he was sliding back into the old him. I was sitting looking at a text he sent after ignoring me for a week that said 'lol, yes, well maybe you'll find a good woman like I did and finally grow up' "
"I suddenly realized I was the only one trying to be a friend, and I just didn't give a sh*T anymore. I deleted his number and haven't heard from him in 2 years. Last thing I heard from him was that text."
"I realized he didn't want to be my friend so much as I was his 'backup wife.' I was easy to fall back on when he found himself single, that's it."
"I'm thinking he may reach out again when he finds himself single again. I won't be there to answer." - The_Great_Blumpkin
Childhood BeautyToddlers And Tiaras Beauty GIF Giphy
"Friend invited me to see her 4 yo daughter perform in a beauty pageant. Ugh, I know, but whatever I wanted to support the kid."
"The little girl sang a sob song about some kid praying to Jesus about their dead mommy. My friend whispered to me that the song 'always won brownie points with the judges'. Again, ugh."
"After the girl performed she came to stand by us in the audience and my friend SMACKED the child's tummy and scolded 'suck it in, no one likes a fat kid.' "
"Yep, I was DONE. I walked out." - noseymimi
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh MyyyTeachers have heard every excuse in the book from students who were trying to pull a fast one. We all know the classics: 'dog ate my homework,' 'my car burst...
Sounded Like An IncelCuff Him Season 2 GIF by American Gods Giphy
"He started saying some pretty gross stuff about this girl who was his friend. She wasn't interested in anything more than friendship and he was pissed about it."
"I told him he sounded like an incel. That's when I started pulling away."
"The last time I saw him was after he got out of prison on bail and wanted to discuss why he was in there and why it was pretty definite he was going back after his trial." - ultravioletblueberry
Google CalendarInterested Kim Kardashian GIF Giphy
"A former friend was going through a divorce that she had instigated by cheating on her ex. She was very, very upset that most people in her circle had sided with her ex."
"I did not pick a side, in part because I was very aware of the sad state of their relationship when she decided to end it. However, she began demanding that I pick a side."
"That led to a slow cooling in our friendship, which blew up one day when I met up with the ex for a beer. Right before we met up, the former friend started frantically texting, wanting to meet up."
"Turned out she had access to my Google Calendar and was following my motions through there."
"She was pissed that I met up with her ex (who was also a friend) and tried to sabotage it. After that I decided I was done with her."
"Too weird, too creepy and controlling. Still friends with the ex, though." - bonbonnibles
They Still Haven't Apologizedblack and white beyonce GIF Giphy
"We were like glue for years. They got me through some of the toughest times, and I was always there right back."
"Then the final 3 years it began to be more and more about them. Would only want to talk if it was their hobby, their problem, their needs.'
"I still gave my all, and burnt myself out being there without a single boundary. I assumed we were operating at an unspoken 'if the roles were reversed, you'd do the same for me' "
"Then a few months back they changed completely. Got a horrible partner. Rude, bigoted, classist, all-round a-hole."
"And it was like I never existed. I was heartbroken. I did everything I could to fix that friendship."
"The day where I realized it wouldn't, couldn't, and I didn't want it to go back to how it was, was when we had a big, tearful heart to heart. They didn't care at all."
"They were upset because they'd lost me, but not because of ME. They were upset over losing what was, essentially, their free on-call therapist."
"Their a-hole boyfriend left them. Their life was becoming miserable and stagnated. Their other friends were also showing their true bad colors."
"I moved cities the next day."
"We agreed to be amicable. I've noticed I only get messages when they want attention. I don't rise to it anymore. We don't talk."
"Side by side, glued together for almost a decade, genuinely inseparable. And after a couple months of mourning… I don't miss them anymore."
"They still haven't apologized."
"No loyalty to our friendship."
"She made a lot of poor choices. Talked about me behind my back and then tried to play it off like she was 'gathering info' to tell me."
"She continued to like photos, and stay friends on social media with my ex boyfriend who assaulted me, and much more."
"I haven't cut it off, but I'm slowly distancing myself because I know she won't think she really did anything that big of a deal. Some people just don't care about you but are really good are telling you what you want to hear."
GhostedDance Dancing GIF by Headexplodie Giphy
"When we graduated high school, a friend of 5 years ghosted my boyfriend and me. This was the guy my boyfriend considered his best friend and was planning to ask to be his best man if he ever gets married."
"We would reach out when we knew he was coming to town through other friends. He always said he was too busy this time but maybe next time."
"According to a friend who went to the same university as him, he apparently wanted to have a restart. That meant erasing everyone from his life who didn't go to his college that was 2 hours away from our hometown."
"A year later he comments on a social media post, asking me how we are doing and saying that we should hang out. I'd like to say I had forgotten about him but actually I was still salty about the silent treatment."
"I unfriended him, deleted his number, and never heard from him again."
You Don't Traumatize A ChildWhat Is Wrong With You Season 4 GIF by The Office Giphy
"Basically, my 'friend' and his partner are codependent. Like- on school nights, they'd sleep over at each other's houses and stay there for weeks on end."
"This dude practically couldn't live without his partner and the relationship is toxic and abusive as hell. One time, the partner was being practically disowned by their mom for being trans and had their phone taken away for a few hours while they 'thought about their decision.' "
"To be clear, I don't like this person's mother."
"Anyway, the younger brother was in the living room at the time when the mother walked in and started ranting about the partner, and the brother nodded along out of fear of getting into trouble as well."
"The partner, once they'd gotten their phone back, started telling everyone about this and claimed that their brother had talked sh*t about them and was transphobic, etc."
"This man tried to text this ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD about his 'relapse' (WITH PICTURES!) And it would've happened if one of our mutual friends hadn't stepped in and told him off."
"That's where I draw the line. You don't traumatize kids who just try to stay out of trouble."
"I pretend to be all Buddy-Buddy with this guy because his mom works at our school (he could seriously f*ck up my future if he tried) but I despise him."
The Common DenominatorOlivia Munn What GIF Giphy
"She kept trash talking every one of her coworkers at every job she's ever held. Not that she had time to get to really know anyone since any job she had she would be at for only a few months (and no they weren't seasonal)."
"There would be looong periods of unemployment in between."
"Also- every place she's ever lived she's had problems with the landlords. So yeah. She was clearly the common denominator."
"The Look"i see you GIF by Face The Truth Giphy
"Another girl had just barely walked away from a conversation with our group when these two 'friends' started talking trash about her."
"I jokingly said: 'wow I hope you don't talk about me like that!' "
"The look they gave each other said it all."
Now that we've read Reddits stories, it's your turn. Tell us about the times you knew a friendship had run it's course. I can't wait to read these comments...
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.