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People Divulge The Exact Moment They Knew They Were Going To End A Friendship

People Divulge The Exact Moment They Knew They Were Going To End A Friendship
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

This article is an ode to the "friend-dump" and the power of growth. Boundaries are awesome, dear readers. Growth and development are awesome.

Some of these friendships, though... not awesome.


They say friendships form for a reason, a season, or a time. If we're lucky, that time gets to be a really long one - but more often than not things are going to go sideways.

Sometimes friendships fizzle out, people drift apart, maybe someone moves or gets a new job... but every now and then there's one defining moment where you look at someone and think "yeah... I'm gonna have to friend-dump you."

Reddit user FeelThePower999 asked:

"What was the moment you looked at your friend and realized they were no longer a friend and you were going to cut ties?"

Sooooo yeah... boundaries. Let's watch people plow right on through them, shall we?

We're Too Old For Shunning

rachel mcadams blow kiss GIFGiphy

"She threw a big 30th birthday party for all her friends. She purposefully invited one girl she'd had a falling out with to come two hours later than the party started."

"Before the girl showed up, she told everyone that the girl was a b*tch and we should all shun her. The poor girl came in with a big expensive present, so happy that her & her where mending things, just to be ignored and belittled by over 30 people."

"The girl left crying. I left not long after and ghosted the sh*t out of my ex-friend."

"She was a minor celebrity in my country. I already saw people take a lot of bad behaviour from her before this happened, but this just pushed me over the edge. People get weird around celebrities, no matter how minor." - fluffyfluffycake

Rooting Against Me

The Princess Bride Boo GIF by filmeditorGiphy

"I was waiting for news of a big career opportunity for a few months, and the sound of relief and satisfaction in her voice when I told my friend it fell through made me realize how hard she had been internally rooting against me."

"Feeling jealous of a friend who has a good thing happen is just part of what it means to be human. But, in that moment, the fact that her response didn't seem mixed with any sympathy for my sadness made me look differently at the dynamics of that friendship."

"I think she genuinely liked me, but not being the "star" in our friendship was too much for her."

- chihuahuamama

Different With An Audience

Awkward Dj Pauly D GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy

"When they started treating me different around other people."

"Together just the two of us, everything was great. In a crowd I became ignored except for when I was the butt of jokes. I'm not thin skinned, I'm not talking about not being able to take a joke."

"It's more that they act embarrassed to know me or want to distance themselves."

"You feel played, betrayed, let down and over all like a fool. I've come to realize it's 100% the other persons insecurity, though. Hurt people hurt people - and I don't have time for that insecure bull." - slugvegas

How Little Interest

Go Away Reaction GIFGiphy

"I tried to talk to a guy who I thought was my friend about something going on between me and my Dad for a few minutes during a drive."

"He flat out silently stared at his phone - until I said something semi related about him. That is when he perked up and started telling me about how much money he'd made recently, and how he got all of this free weed from someone and boy was his life sweet."

"I sorta just 'mhm'ed' my way through it because it was obvious he had been ignoring me, and when he got to the end of his brag session he in all serious told me he was pretty offended at how little interest I showed in what he'd been saying." - CommercializedPan

Losing My Religion

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"When I told them that I left my high demand religion. They said we no longer had anything in common."

"What?? 30 years of friendship over in 1 conversation?! Plus, I had been out of the religion for years, but they never knew. Our friendship was fine."

"Once official, I was 'no longer trustworthy, sinful and lost.' That was the end for me."

"It's their loss, not mine." - Gotagoodkidney

"This happened to me. My husband and I left Mormonism and our best friends (so close we were like family) ghosted us over it."

"When my husband confronted his friend about it, the guy said a bunch of vicious stuff about us and claimed they'd never really liked us. It broke my f*cking heart."

"That was more than three years ago and I still have dreams where I'm trying to reconcile with them." - Confident_Basket8694

His Alibi

Season 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy

"We kind of fell out a while ago and haven't spoken much, but today I learned that he seems to have been using me as an alibi to cheat on his wife."

"She texted me about us having drinks the other night & we haven't done anything socially outside of work since before COVID. Without going into detail I'm certain my confused reaction blew up whatever bull he's been telling her."

"I am not in the habit of lying to people & wouldn't cover for someone in this situation unless it involved a psycho abusive spouse, a "we went on one date" stalker - that kind of thing... Even then I'd need some kind of heads up beforehand!"

"So I don't know what he's been trying to pull, but any hope of rekindling any friendship is now 100% gone. I'm not his alibi." - 3dogsinatrenchcoat

The "Backup Wife"

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"I had a close friend from childhood who was very into the traditional lifestyle, with wife, kids, house with a picket fence, part of the PTA and church. Even in high school."

"He would date anyone that would have him, and ignore us until they broke up and he'd come crawling back. We were best of friends so we always were glad to have him back involved in our group. He went to college literally because he was looking for a girl to marry."

"He ended up dropping out after 2 yrs, and getting a job delivering auto parts where he started dating and married his boss's daughter. They popped out 3 kids right in a row, and every time I talked to him things were "great" but he just would stop responding to me more and more often."

"He was 110% devoted to his little family which was great, but he just stopped being my friend. I'd invite him to get together and he would always just say 'oh why don't you come over here, you can see the kids.' "

"That was fine, but his wife and he would just be on me the whole time about how I'm not really an adult because I dont have a family, my job was putting my ability to have kids at risk (firefighter) and that I basically only had value if I was breeding."

"So part of the distancing was me honestly. I didn't like having to put up with that just to see my friend."

"Long story short, his wife cheats on him, they divorced and she's instantly pregnant with another guy's baby. He comes to me broken over this and we get close again. Really close."

"I drove him to therapy, watched his kids while he was laying in bed all day, unable to get up and brought food for his family."

"I opened up about why I felt we drifted apart in the first place. He actually apologized and admitted he suspected that was why. I thought I had my best friend again."

"Until he met another girl and I started seeing less of him."

"He started flaking on me to hang out. When I did come over, the remarks about 'doing the adult thing' would come out again. His new girlfriend had 3 kids too, so he started joking about being the Brady Bunch."

"I hung on trying to keep the friendship together because I felt bad for not trying enough last time, but he was sliding back into the old him. I was sitting looking at a text he sent after ignoring me for a week that said 'lol, yes, well maybe you'll find a good woman like I did and finally grow up' "

"I suddenly realized I was the only one trying to be a friend, and I just didn't give a sh*T anymore. I deleted his number and haven't heard from him in 2 years. Last thing I heard from him was that text."

"I realized he didn't want to be my friend so much as I was his 'backup wife.' I was easy to fall back on when he found himself single, that's it."

"I'm thinking he may reach out again when he finds himself single again. I won't be there to answer." - The_Great_Blumpkin

Childhood Beauty

Toddlers And Tiaras Beauty GIFGiphy

"Friend invited me to see her 4 yo daughter perform in a beauty pageant. Ugh, I know, but whatever I wanted to support the kid."

"The little girl sang a sob song about some kid praying to Jesus about their dead mommy. My friend whispered to me that the song 'always won brownie points with the judges'. Again, ugh."

"After the girl performed she came to stand by us in the audience and my friend SMACKED the child's tummy and scolded 'suck it in, no one likes a fat kid.' "

"Yep, I was DONE. I walked out." - noseymimi

Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Teachers have heard every excuse in the book from students who were trying to pull a fast one. We all know the classics: 'dog ate my homework,' 'my car burst...

Sounded Like An Incel

Cuff Him Season 2 GIF by American GodsGiphy

"He started saying some pretty gross stuff about this girl who was his friend. She wasn't interested in anything more than friendship and he was pissed about it."

"I told him he sounded like an incel. That's when I started pulling away."

"The last time I saw him was after he got out of prison on bail and wanted to discuss why he was in there and why it was pretty definite he was going back after his trial." - ultravioletblueberry

Google Calendar

Interested Kim Kardashian GIFGiphy

"A former friend was going through a divorce that she had instigated by cheating on her ex. She was very, very upset that most people in her circle had sided with her ex."

"I did not pick a side, in part because I was very aware of the sad state of their relationship when she decided to end it. However, she began demanding that I pick a side."

"That led to a slow cooling in our friendship, which blew up one day when I met up with the ex for a beer. Right before we met up, the former friend started frantically texting, wanting to meet up."

"Turned out she had access to my Google Calendar and was following my motions through there."

"She was pissed that I met up with her ex (who was also a friend) and tried to sabotage it. After that I decided I was done with her."

"Too weird, too creepy and controlling. Still friends with the ex, though." - bonbonnibles

They Still Haven't Apologized

black and white beyonce GIFGiphy

"We were like glue for years. They got me through some of the toughest times, and I was always there right back."

"Then the final 3 years it began to be more and more about them. Would only want to talk if it was their hobby, their problem, their needs.'

"I still gave my all, and burnt myself out being there without a single boundary. I assumed we were operating at an unspoken 'if the roles were reversed, you'd do the same for me' "

"Then a few months back they changed completely. Got a horrible partner. Rude, bigoted, classist, all-round a-hole."

"And it was like I never existed. I was heartbroken. I did everything I could to fix that friendship."

"The day where I realized it wouldn't, couldn't, and I didn't want it to go back to how it was, was when we had a big, tearful heart to heart. They didn't care at all."

"They were upset because they'd lost me, but not because of ME. They were upset over losing what was, essentially, their free on-call therapist."

"Their a-hole boyfriend left them. Their life was becoming miserable and stagnated. Their other friends were also showing their true bad colors."

"I moved cities the next day."

"We agreed to be amicable. I've noticed I only get messages when they want attention. I don't rise to it anymore. We don't talk."

"Side by side, glued together for almost a decade, genuinely inseparable. And after a couple months of mourning… I don't miss them anymore."

"They still haven't apologized."

- mmgkayla

Gathering Intel

"No loyalty to our friendship."

"She made a lot of poor choices. Talked about me behind my back and then tried to play it off like she was 'gathering info' to tell me."

"She continued to like photos, and stay friends on social media with my ex boyfriend who assaulted me, and much more."

"I haven't cut it off, but I'm slowly distancing myself because I know she won't think she really did anything that big of a deal. Some people just don't care about you but are really good are telling you what you want to hear."

- zilazav

Ghosted

Dance Dancing GIF by HeadexplodieGiphy

"When we graduated high school, a friend of 5 years ghosted my boyfriend and me. This was the guy my boyfriend considered his best friend and was planning to ask to be his best man if he ever gets married."

"We would reach out when we knew he was coming to town through other friends. He always said he was too busy this time but maybe next time."

"According to a friend who went to the same university as him, he apparently wanted to have a restart. That meant erasing everyone from his life who didn't go to his college that was 2 hours away from our hometown."

"A year later he comments on a social media post, asking me how we are doing and saying that we should hang out. I'd like to say I had forgotten about him but actually I was still salty about the silent treatment."

"I unfriended him, deleted his number, and never heard from him again."

- RedPandaLily88

You Don't Traumatize A Child

What Is Wrong With You Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Basically, my 'friend' and his partner are codependent. Like- on school nights, they'd sleep over at each other's houses and stay there for weeks on end."

"This dude practically couldn't live without his partner and the relationship is toxic and abusive as hell. One time, the partner was being practically disowned by their mom for being trans and had their phone taken away for a few hours while they 'thought about their decision.' "

"To be clear, I don't like this person's mother."

"Anyway, the younger brother was in the living room at the time when the mother walked in and started ranting about the partner, and the brother nodded along out of fear of getting into trouble as well."

"The partner, once they'd gotten their phone back, started telling everyone about this and claimed that their brother had talked sh*t about them and was transphobic, etc."

"This man tried to text this ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD about his 'relapse' (WITH PICTURES!) And it would've happened if one of our mutual friends hadn't stepped in and told him off."

"That's where I draw the line. You don't traumatize kids who just try to stay out of trouble."

"I pretend to be all Buddy-Buddy with this guy because his mom works at our school (he could seriously f*ck up my future if he tried) but I despise him."

- Sleeping-H0ll0w

The Common Denominator

Olivia Munn What GIFGiphy

"She kept trash talking every one of her coworkers at every job she's ever held. Not that she had time to get to really know anyone since any job she had she would be at for only a few months (and no they weren't seasonal)."

"There would be looong periods of unemployment in between."

"Also- every place she's ever lived she's had problems with the landlords. So yeah. She was clearly the common denominator."

- Strawberry36

"The Look"

i see you GIF by Face The TruthGiphy

"Another girl had just barely walked away from a conversation with our group when these two 'friends' started talking trash about her."

"I jokingly said: 'wow I hope you don't talk about me like that!' "

"The look they gave each other said it all."

- LightBringer54

Now that we've read Reddits stories, it's your turn. Tell us about the times you knew a friendship had run it's course. I can't wait to read these comments...

People Share The Best Advice For Someone Starting Their First Job

Reddit user CampDreamy asked: 'What advice would you give someone starting their first job?''

man holding book on road during daytime
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.

Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.

Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.

I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.

I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.

I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:

"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"

Think Positive

"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."

– Firebolt164

"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."

"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."

– tyrannosean

"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."

– 2catsinatrenchcoat

"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."

– raoulduke212

Sound Advice

"Poop on company time."

– 1320Fastback

"Well, sh*t."

– CampDreamy

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."

– mrselfdestruct066

Everyone Makes Mistakes

"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."

"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."

– MaximumZer0

"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."

– super5aj123

Gossip Girl

"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."

– GamerMomLife

"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."

– super5aj123

"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."

– DeadStar800

Do It All

"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"

– PublicEnema11

"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""

"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."

– Cacafuego

(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn

"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."

– kbrown423

""Never cut what you can untie.""

"- Robert Frost"

– sophistt_

It's All Public

"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."

– CouchieWouchie

"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."

– FrungyLeague

"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."

– squished_frog

Protect Yourself

"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."

– DejectedDonut

"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."

"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."

– Zech08

Work Friends

"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."

"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."

– Mobtor

Education

"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."

"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."

"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"

"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""

"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."

"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."

– tacknosaddle

The Little Moments Matter

"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."

"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."

– mxxiestorc

Learn To Save

"Pension! Pension! Pension!"

"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."

– Grayzo

Money, Money, Money

"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"

– awileycat

"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."

– QuantumExileMusic

Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!

An hourglass with blue sand sits among a field of rocks
Photo by Aron Visuals

Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.

I tripped on a dead tree branch.

The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.

My belongings were strewn about.

And my to-go burger was dead.

A simple walk.

A simple dead branch.

And almost lights out.

Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:

"How did you almost die?"

Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.

We're always moments from the end on highways.

Back in the Day...

Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy

"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."

ChristmasKid88

On the Disk

"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."

EatA**FromBack

"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."

dimlylit_

Saved

"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."

loztriforce

"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."

coffeejunki

Shucked

"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."

"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."

datnetcoder

Finding Tracks

College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy

"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."

danvo5

Bears are a no go for me.

Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!

Several Strikes

Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy

"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."

"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."

lizard_king0000

Oh Barb

"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."

"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"

CharismaticAlbino

Climb Up

"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."

Yugan-Dali

Blood Loss

"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"

Material_Cry1697

These were some tremendously close calls.

Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.

Paper heart ripped in half
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When it comes to the dating scene, most of us have a pretty low opinion of people who choose to cheat on their partners, not to mention serial cheaters.

But that doesn't seem to stop some people from doing the deed.

Curious, Redditor miaah214 asked:

"People who have cheated before, why did you do it?"

Revenge Cheat

"He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better."

- Witch_on_a_moped

Immature and Selfish

"Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular sex life, and a girl who threw herself at me."

"I was an idi*t, I acted like an a**hole, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

"It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved."

"Fortunately, I learned from it, and while I can't take back the pain I caused, at least now I know that I am 100% capable of being an a**hole and so can choose not to be one."

- Seba_King

Insecurity

"Insecurity. I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. It was a serious youthful lack of judgment."

"Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a piece of s**t I was and the hurt I caused. Hard to live with, to be honest."

- Penfold_for_PM

Just Desire

"100% pure lust. That’s it. I’m not proud of it."

- mydepressingpoems

Lots of Options

"Willing partners. It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend that I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or worse yet, my girlfriend's friends or sisters."

"Too many times to be a fluke."

"It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you're worth pursuing."

"But when I was single, most times I couldn't get a woman's attention."

"So it was an ego boost, but ultimately, I decided to be a better person, and I met a person who I truly thought was 'the one.'"

"And to a certain extent I did, it just didn't last through no fault of my own."

- Patient-Quarter-1684

In Need of Validation

"When you grow up being in turn neglected and told you're not good enough, validation is like a drug, and intimacy is the ultimate validation."

"Sooooo much therapy to undo this."

- RowhammerBitflip

"This. I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find."

"People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it."

"I don’t inherently feel important or relevant so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise."

- tellitothemoon

The Thrill of It

"Because I was a f**king a**hole 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it."

"I'm 37 now. No cheating since then."

- Temporary_Fault6402

The Real Joy

"My ex was done in the bedroom and even said they were no longer interested in me physically or sexually."

"I should have left at that point, but with kids and the financial hit of divorce, I just looked to fulfill that need."

"I later divorced, and it was a big financial hit, but oh my god, what a relief it was getting out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is where the true pleasure comes from."

- loomdog1

In Need of Attention

"My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own. He refused to have sex with me."

"At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of having an orgasm were too strong for me. I’m deeply ashamed."

"Shortly after I picked myself up, the relationship ended. I should have left sooner."

"Someone telling you that you are beautiful, talented, and special after being invisible can feel like a drug. I don’t expect sympathy from anyone for my actions. But I do have a lot of sympathy for others now."

- throwawaythrowyellow

The Easier Option

"Because I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with and loved me."

"As it turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating."

- dodongosbongos

Devastating Choices

"Not me, but a guy friend cheated and the reason he gave was that he loved his fiancée but they had very different sex drives."

"He also said that when he brought it up to her (the difference in their sex drives and the problems it would cause) she begged him not to leave and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue."

"He told her it already WAS an issue and, as a last resort, she said she would understand if SOME DAY he felt the need to look elsewhere…just as long as she never found out."

"The girl admitted to saying all this but explained that she would have said anything for them to stay together in that moment, she didn’t think he’d actually be 'f**ked up enough to cheat' and she never imagined he would do it so soon."

- Dramiotic

The Perfect Combination

"A perfect storm of poor impulse control, untreated mental illness, and boredom."

"People on the moral high ground will tell you not to cheat for reasons like morality and integrity; from the moral low ground, I can tell you that the lifelong guilt, shame, and remorse are not worth it."

- LowCarbBeesechussy

Emotionally Done

"Because the relationship was done and I was already moving on emotionally. I just didn't care about her enough to care whether she was hurt or not. Honestly, in hindsight, I have zero idea why we were still together. It DID make the eventual breakup a lot messier."

"I was young and it taught me an important lesson. If you're done, just be done and leave. There's no point in dragging it out. If you're ready to start looking for another relationship, start by ending the relationship you're already in."

- codefyre

Ready to Make Up for It

"I had a perceived lack of affection. I felt ugly and disgusting and like I was just an emotional tampon."

"I would never do it again. In therapy, I learned a lot about the reasons I did what I did and in all honesty, if she would even entertain the idea of trying again, I’d spend every day making up for it and making sure she felt more love then can be imagined."

"I’m currently fulfilling into the man I know I can be. I just wish it took a more positive trigger in order to start that for me."

- Anthonys455

Let's end it -- the article, that is -- on a lighter note.

The Worst Kind of Cheating

"My wife wasn’t around. The house was empty."

"I couldn’t wait for her to get home, so I watched the next episode without her knowing."

"Honey, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry."

- six6sickx

"You're a monster."

- Efficient_Ad_8367

It's so hard to imagine what's going on inside someone else's head or why they might choose to do the things that they do, especially if it's something we don't agree with.

It's at least heartening to see that many of these Redditors used these experiences as learning opportunities and have since gone on to treat the most treasured people in their lives a little differently.

Smartphone showing a lighting switch app
Moritz Kindler/Unsplash

Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.

Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.

Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.

Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:

"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"

We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.

Taking Charge

"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."

– ihadtowalkhere

"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."

"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"

– nicktam2010

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."

– blehbleh1122

"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."

– BunjaminFrnklin

"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."

– TryUsingScience

A Cool Idea

"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."

– jermleeds

"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.

– cantwejustplaynice

No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.

No More Slamming

"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."

– AreWeCowabunga

"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"

– PinkHamster08

Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick

"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."

– maartenvanheek

"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."

– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig

Perfect Welcoming Gesture

"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."

– YouInternational2152

It's electrifying!

Think Smart

"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."

– Revolutionary-Try746

"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."

– cppadam

Things Are Looking Bright

"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."

– SnooCauliflowers9981

Energy Conservation Option

"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."

– AmazingAsian

Creating an environment can make a huge difference.

Source Lighting For The Win

"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."

– ShoesAreTheWorst

Home Art Gallery

"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."

– GinGimlet

"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."

– Triolion

One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.

The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.

There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.

Game changer.