There's just no pleasing the older generation. It's also a feedback loop: Soon we'll be that generation and people will think we're passé! (Perish the thought!)
Today's burning question came from Redditor ALonelyTrashApple, who asked the online community: "What's the best response you've heard/you've said to someone complaining about 'kids these days'?"
It turns out some people are pretty creative.
"In response to an adult having a temper tantrum..."
"Didn't you guys have pet rocks?"
In response to an adult having a temper tantrum over fidget spinners.
"She responded with..."
My a--hole uncle complaining about "kids these days" in front of his mother, who is 96 and still has all her sass.
She responded with "Yeah, because you were just a f---ing ray of sunshine to raise."
For the record, the uncle is an ahole completely of his own volition. I don't know how he turned out that way considering the wonderful woman who raised him.
"Your generation is soft..."
"Your generation is soft, it's all the participation trophies you were given."
"Sure, but who gave us those participation trophies again?"
"I'm living in Germany..."
I'm living in Germany and there was an old man complaining for no reason to a friend and me, saying something like: with soldiers like you there is no war to win. My friend looked him in the eyes and said: and with soldiers like you we lost two of them.
"I work at a bookstore..."
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I work at a bookstore in a smaller retirement heavy town. So, as you can guess we get tons of old people in everyday and they all think they are the most important person in the store.
One time we had this particularly bad old lady who wanted a book that we didn't have in stock yet. So, I tried to explain to her that the book came out in just shy of a couple months and if she wanted then we could pre-order it for her. She wasn't having it at all, she claimed I was lying and trying to steal her money.
So, I offered to show her the other books we had by that author which was met with a stern no and her informing me very loudly that she had read ALL of that authors other books and that I could find a way to get her that book today and she wasn't leaving until she had it in her hand. I called a manager to the front who again tried to explain the situation to absolutely no positive result.
Eventually she finally looked up at me behind the counter and on the other side of my manager and told me that "My grandkids can order ANYTHING they want online and it's there in a couple DAYS, but MY book will take 2 months to get to my home?? You're just trying to punish me for being old!".
She then demanded my manager send me away and that I've made her very upset. He looked her dead in the eyes and told her that he could send me away, but if she wanted this book to ever get ordered she might consider being a little nicer to the people who's job it is to get it to her.
I've never seen a walker move so fast out of a store. She was gone in seconds.
"My grandma said something..."
My grandma said something along the lines of "young people are so easily offended these days"
So I reminded her that when she was born women were being arrested for wearing pants in public.
"Whenever he starts..."
My Father-In-Law is ~55. Whenever he starts that "y'alls generation is so offended by everything" sh*t, I just casually remind him that he comes from a time when people would shut sh!t down if someone of a darker skin tone drank out of the same water fountain as them.
"To this day..."
"Shut the f*ck up George, you did coke when you were their age!"
To this day, I still think about that grandma at the grocery store... What a great wife!
Context: I was shopping with my girlfriend, we were laughing and I accidentally bumped the old geezers, cart. He flipped out with a whole rant about how horrible young people are today. His wife sat him the f--- down.
"Young guy on my team..."
Young guy on my team at work. Others were complaining about millennials (in 2018). I pointed out that them being not 38 yet also makes them millennials.
"A key note speaker..."
A key note speaker was basically talking sh*t on millennials at a corporate function I attended. My boss was like "Wow he really hit the nail on the head with your generation." My response was "We didn't raise ourselves with these standards. You all brought us up this way." Actually made him pause and consider that.
"I was on the train reading a book..."
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I was on the train reading a book. An older women makes the comment "kids these days are always on their phone instead of books."
I responded and told her that phones now have the ability to store books. And I told her what I was reading and then asked her what book is she reading since she was such a bookworm. She had no answer since she didn't have a book.
So I said "baby boomers these days always have their nose in other people's business instead of a book."
She called me rude and I told her to please refrain from speaking to me because I was in the middle of a really good book.
"Kids these days..."
Old guy: "Kids these days don't know how to save up for college the old fashioned way through odd jobs and hard labor"
My brother: "I am literally mowing your lawn to save up for college.
We just got up..."
Boy, my ex boyfriend and I were in a date and we where making out in the park. Nothing lewd, just kissing and some dumb @ss giggles until this woman, her husband and her son says:
"Jesus Christ, please stop doing those disgusting things in front of me and my baby. Kids and teenagers these days are unbelievable."
We just got up, kind of mad but not in the mood to deal with her sh!t, and decided to walk around some more time before leaving, until we find her again, making out with her husband in a hella hot session ( We were able to see their tongues and some saliva. Ugh. ) while their kid was just sitting awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable. My ex was one smug idiot but I love him, and he straight up raised his voice to say.
"Jesus Christ! Adults these days!"
It was a pretty good day, the woman and her husband saw us, obviously embarrassed and we both just walked away.
"A few weeks ago I walked up in line..."
A few weeks ago I walked up in line at the express checkout in the grocery store to hear the two seniors in front of me complaining about 'kids these days'. Conversation went from how rude they are, to how stupid they are, to how inconsiderate they are, and then the old lady unpacked 14 items out of her cart onto the belt in the 10 items or less lane; while still griping about how young people are inconsiderate.
I literally laughed out loud; she looked at me, looked at her items and then the full context of what she was doing registered. The look on her face was amazing. I didn't say anything else. I just smiled at her and she turned her back to me and shut the hell up.
"People in nursing homes are savage."
"You were complaining about African Americans calling for equal rights when you were their age Harold."
People in nursing homes are savage.
"I had a college instructor..."
I had a college instructor in the 90s who complained that Gen X (my generation) was too apathetic compared to his "Flower Power" bullshit generation. Being a punk rocker who fucking despised the Baby Boomers (I still don't care much for them) I remember exactly what I said to him:
"Well your generation are the assholes who are trying to sell us hundred dollar pairs of sneakers and telling us we're dork losers if we don't have them. So is it any reason we don't care about anything"?
Maybe not quite as "and everyone clapped and the teachers name was Albert Einstein" as some responses but since it was my personal retort I never forgot it.
"Whenever my grandma's friends complain..."
Whenever my grandma's friends complain about 'kids these days' or something equivalent, she always responds with "You know that applies to your children and grandchildren, too?"
"Context..."
"You gave birth to them, Jane" -My mom to her friend
Context: Mom's friend complained how lazy and unreliable her kids were. Mom always believed in Nurture>Nature. You go, mom.
"I heard a parent complain..."
I heard a parent complain that "kids get an ebook to make studying easier."
His son responded with: "I have to pay $120 to do my homework. How much did you pay to do that?"
"I made a baby boomer classmate stutter..."
I made a baby boomer classmate stutter when I said "at least we didn't trash the economy."
She'd been complaining kids these days were always glued to their phones.
A teenager went "oooh! shots fired!" in the ensuing dead silence.
War Face GIF
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Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.