Dad jokes are having a moment right now - understandably, since lame dads are hilarious.We love talking about the kinds of "dad stuff" stereotypes - like freaking out if anyone touches the thermostat and wearing weirdly tall socks with some New Balance sneakers. One Reddit user pointed out that we're all knee-deep in dad stuff, but moms have just as many quirks! They wanted to know what some typical "mom things" people could think of. The responses were too much fun!
The initial question:
We always hear about "dad" things, what are some "mom" things?
The comments had people laughing, feeling nostalgic, and bonding over the sorts of mom things that seem to be pretty much universal.
Here are some of our favorite replies, edited for clarity when needed.
No Mom, We Don't Know Everyone On The Internet
Giphyshows my mom a video on the internet
"Who's that?"
The hell mom I don't know just watch the video.
Mom's A Magician
Mom: "Go find XYZ item".
Me: searching for 5 minutes "can't find it".
Mom enters and item magically appears
Mom's Timeline
Mom 1 min ago: "Where are you??"
Mom 2 min ago: "Why aren't you picking up my calls?"
Mom 3 min ago: "You are normally home at 5:32pm on the dot, it is 5:33pm, are you home? Where are you?"
Then you call her back less than a minute after the last call/text and she doesn't answer.
Before You Go
GiphyBe sure to use the bathroom before you go anywhere. You never know when you're going to find the next one.
I live 2 minutes from work and still use the bathroom before I leave.
"Expert" Knowledge
Hearing a 'fact' from an 'expert' on the news once and believing it forever.
i.e. My mom still thinks I should be getting nine hours and fifteen minutes of sleep after hearing that figure on the Today Show over a decade ago.
Rage Vacuuming
Vacuuming when they're angry so everyone knows they're angry and everyone is super uncomfortable and it's loud and scary and I just want to die.
Mom Strength
GiphyMoms are freakishly strong when they need to be. I remember my wife running away from a pissed off skunk, one kid in each arm.
Good Ol' Brake Arm
While driving with you in the passenger seat they throw their arm across you if they have to hit the brakes.
Jacket
GiphyTemp might get down into the 70s. "Make sure you bring a jacket" - A jacket is what you wear when your mother is cold.
- Augug
H/T: Reddit
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.
Redditor sirdigbykittencaesar wanted to hear from the bosses of the world about the terminations they wish they could take back, so they asked:
"Bosses of Reddit, have you ever seriously regretted firing someone, and if so why?"
It must suck when you're duped into firing the wrong person and then you find out too late.
That Day
Kids In The Hall Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy"A long time ago I was asked to fire a salesman. He was kind, but not good at selling. It was a week before Christmas. I told my boss I would fire him on Jan 3. The boss said no and fired him that day. I regretted not giving him the holiday."
Tootalllewis
The Picker
"I had an assistant for about a year, who was a pretty good assistant for a difficult working situation. My boss, the district manager, hated him, though. She kept trying to catch him screwing up when I wasn't around. The trouble was, the company paid poorly, so talent was hard to come by, training was difficult, and the hours were 48 a week MINIMUM. This guy was the only assistant I had who didn't quit in less than a year."
"My stores were so undermanned, if this guy left, I'd be working 80-hour weeks like before I got him. The only reason it wasn't more than 80 hours was because the store's malls or shopping centers actually closed at night."
"Finally, one day, she wrote him up because she said 'a secret shopper' said he was picking his nose. This guy, who at least had SOME dignity, refused to sign the disciplinary paperwork. 'I want proof: I am not sitting in the showroom, picking my nose.' My boss said, 'he won't sign it, insubordination.'"
"'Fire him.' I really tried to reason with her, but she wanted him gone one way or another. 'Either you fire him, or I'll come in and fire both of you.'"
"I had to fire a man for picking his nose. I quit shortly after that because I knew this was just the lowest I had ever sunk in management. I still feel bad about all that."
punkwalrus
This Guy
"Years ago I got a call from a competing engineering company. They screwed up a job and rather than own up, decided to blame a senior technologist as the scapegoat. His immediate boss was against it but the partners demanded it. He phoned us and said 'You should hire this guy.'"
"We did and he was an excellent employee until he retired 20 years later. Our gain, their loss."
"The best part is that the guy who called me (who was a senior engineer) quit shortly thereafter and the company closed down a couple of years later - Karma I guess."
somewhat_random
The Team Member
"Someone else hired someone with no experience after I voted 'no.' I knew he would be in over his head and he had a good job already. They didn't train him or coach him. And then after about 6 months my boss's boss comes to me and tells me to build a case against him... my team member... and to fire him."
"I quit within the next two months. F them... I'm not doing their dirty work to solve a problem they caused and enable them to keep their hands clean in the process."
AdUnfair3836
It's just a puff...
4-20 Weed GIFGiphy"I was once forced to fire an awesome employee for failing a drug test (weed). And just a few years later it was legalized."
PsiOryx
When will we just let people smoke freely?
Bad Vibes
Duck Reaction GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"I had to fire someone on my actual last day once. And right beforehand, everyone was making a joke about the person I fired getting fired. That sucked. Not a good vibes last day at all."
backyardvegas
Terror
"I had an employee about 4 years ago now who had chronic attendance issues. I kept her MUCH longer than my boss was happy with because she was decent and very genuine. But eventually, I just couldn't put it off anymore. When we were in the room talking she burst into tears and looked terrified and told me her husband was NOT going to be happy with her. She said he wouldn't hurt her and she didn't need me to call the police for her, but even still I'm worried he was physically abusive. The level of terror was up there."
AlisonChained
Merry Christmas
"About 20 years ago I was running a bar Christmas Eve - chaotic night as we were incredibly short-staffed due to heavy snow and a lot of our workers being from a different area. Bar downstairs was closing up and the staff was being moved to the upstairs. We were £200 short in the bar and the main manager interrogated three out of the four - conveniently not the supervisor he was having an affair with."
"That supervisor was also in charge of the float and was generally sh*t at her job. That float for one until was convenient £200."
"Main boss wouldn't consider his fling could do wrong (a common occurrence) and he didn't want to deal with it. So it became me (the lowest of four managers) to sack three people for suspected theft. On Christmas Eve knowing I wasn't in any position financially or in terms of job security to say no."
"Only joy was that his wife finally caught him in the affair and his whole life went to sh*t soon after."
geekhalla
Regrets
"I was forced to fire a junior person on my team, my boss gave me no choice, because she had used a competitor's idea as inspiration (working in design). But it was our intermediary boss who told her to use the idea. I wish I would have taken a harder stand but I was afraid of being fired myself, I was only a few months on the job. I still regret it to this day but the other woman has had a good career so that’s a plus at least."
Keyspam102
Awful
"Had an underperforming employee, tried a pip, coaching, moving to a different job role with the team. Eventually came to terms with not being the right person for the job/team terminated employee. A week later her child dies in a house fire where they lost everything. I donated 1000 to the go find me but still can’t help but wonder if my termination set off the events that caused this."
smallboxofcrayons
Phony
That Is All Meryl Streep GIFGiphy"Nope. There's a long process before it gets to that point and almost nobody does get to that point. Except for the guy who got the job using fake identity papers. There was no long process to fire him, it went very, very fast once we found out."
AdmiralBofa
I hated firing people.
There is never a great time.
