"What's a joke that took you an absurdly long time to get?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor Mr. Pokemonn, and it's enough to make us cringe.
How did it take us this long to figure that out? You've likely thought this the older you've become. I mean, just the other day I was reminded of the "Dad's trophy" moment on Dexter's Laboratory and I can't believe how ignorant I was.
That said, there are others out there who are more clueless than I was... and certainly more clueless than you!
"I watched that movie..."
In Blazing Saddles, Bart's friend from the railroad says to him "They said you was hung" and Sheriff Bart replies "And they was right."
I watched that movie a hundred times growing up but it took me well into adulthood to notice the double entendre.
"When I was a dumb kid..."
Giphy
"I can give you ten good reasons to never let go of a dime" - Mr. Krabs
When I was a dumb kid I just thought, "wow, he must really know of a lot of ways to spend 10¢.
"I never got why..."
In Airplane, it was the joke about the character having a drinking problem.
I never got why he was pouring water on his head. That's his problem. He has a drinking problem.
"Reminds me..."
Reminds me of this bit from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
"It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water."
"9 year old me..."
Shrek thinks Farquaad is "compensating for something" when noticing the size of his castle.
9 year old me thought that was a joke about Farquaad's short stature.
"The ending..."
The ending of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Took me probably 20 years before someone pointed out that it was a total cop-out.
"I watched the movie..."
The alchemist sequence in Mel Brooks' History of the World Part I:
The Roman general is trying to find the protagonists who are in disguise, using costumes they have taken from a production of The Trojan War.
General: I say, chemist, can you help us?
Alchemist: What are you looking for?
General: A pack of trojans.
Alchemist: snaps his fingers I just ran out.
I watched the movie with my dad when I was 10 or so, and I didn't get this joke, and dad didn't explain it to me. Nearly a decade later I watched it again with a bunch of college buddies, and I was laughing louder than anyone else. The long delay between hearing it the first time and getting it made it even funnier.
"I only recently..."
When a person says "I'll see you later" and the other person responds "NOT if I see you first".
I only recently realized that it meant that if they saw you first, that they would hide.
I never actually gave it any thought up until that point, then one day I heard it on a movie and the light came on. <sigh> I'll see you later.
"I never questioned..."
When I was a kid, my dad developed a massive cyst on his back, and my mom took to calling it his "third head." I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard, and went around telling anyone who would listen all about it.
I never questioned what the second head was. It took me up until a few years ago (and I'm 28) to realize that my mom was making a dick joke.
"I'm sure I've seen..."
I'm sure I've seen Airplane! a dozen times but just today I came across this exchange that I never picked up on:
Ted Striker : My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson : When will you be back?
Ted Striker : I can't tell you that. It's classified.
There are things we accept as inherently bad – like predatory animals or unhealthy foods – because we are socialized to believe they are.
<p>For instance, Steven Spielberg's <em>Jaws</em> terrified audiences when it was released in theaters in 1975 and it kept people from going to the beach. <br></p><p>What many people don't realize is that humans are not naturally shark-food as they typically avoid food sources that are competitive in size. </p><p>And when you think about it, aren't people are the most dangerous species of all?<br></p><p><strong>Curious to hear what strangers thought, Redditor <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/BreachyJoe/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">BreachyJoe</a> asked:</strong><br></p><blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"What is something that doesn't deserve its bad reputation?"</a></blockquote> <img alt="" src="https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/img/renderTimingPixel.png">
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"Dangerous" Animals
<p>Most species in the animal kingdom will leave you alone if unprovoked. <br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Silent Predator
<p>"sharks."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpadmsi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RudegarWithFunnyHat<br></a></p><p>"No kidding. The oceans would be a mess without them. They kill less people per year than mosquitoes, deer and PEOPLE. They're intelligent but so different from us that the bad rep was practically unavoidable sadly"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpax28m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Megalon84</a><br><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpadmsi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Nothing To Hiss At
<p>"Black cats."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpb0ggl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">tehfraginator</a></p><p>"THIS ONE. I was absolutely floored this past October when I read somewhere that some animal shelters will not allow anyone to adopt black cats for fear that people will abuse them and/or sacrifice them ritualistically because we All Know that black cats bring BAD LUCK. LOOK. We own a black cat and he's Just A Cat. About the worst thing he does is drag his ass across the carpet because he has a sticky piece of sh*t sticking to his fur!!! 🙄"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpblwcf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RolandParr57</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Creatures Of The Night
<p>"Bats. Some of the best insect control/pollination help out there (depending on species). Plus they can give you good fertilizer. 'But they carry rabies.....' you know what else can carry rabies? Raccoons, rabbits, foxes, dogs, opossums....pretty much mammals. 'But they can carry cross species diseases....' So do pigs, chicken, primates, and now with [the virus] dogs & cats. I mean don't go hug them- but they are very useful & unfortunately on the way out."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbyuvt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">lyme_aide</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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They Make For Good Pets
<p>"Snakes. Majority of them are harmless. I understand if you live in an area with deadly snakes. But snakes are always represented as pure evil and villainous when most are just typical reptiles going about their little snake lives. They don't want to bother you, they just want to survive the next day and reproduce."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbga1l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LeafeonMaster721</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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People
<p>People can easily be persuaded by the opinions of others, especially on the internet.</p>Misunderstood?
<p>"Guy Fieri. What the heck did he ever do to anyone?"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpboj8u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">nokittythatsmypie</a></p><p>"Dude is a bro! He's raised millions of dollars for grants to restaurant workers who have been hammered by [the virus] closures. He does tons of charity work for food security, and even performed marriage ceremonies for 101 gay couples in honor of his sister when that was still super controversial. His signature style may be Backstreet Boy-reject, but it also makes him instantly recognizable and helps in bringing attention to good causes."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpc900a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Speakeasy9</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Requires Discipline And Hard Work
<p>"Fast food workers. I don't get the 'anyone can do it' argument. Through my time as a manager I've turned down applicants for not being up to our standard and watched all age groups quit because the job isn't as easy as they expected. It's a fast paced work environment with lots of memorization due to food safety standards. I've worked production, construction, warehouse, and others but working in fast food isn't easier than the others, just different."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbwxg4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">mynameisshelly</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Rocker
<p>"Joan Jett."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpaygyw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Three_Day_Rider</a></p><p>"Yeah, but she don't give a damn about her bad reputation."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbcbd5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Casual-Notice</a><br></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDk0My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NTI1NDU0N30.HsGmBIYqFEGiMuo6JUVBiS206tZ5cJffJYjZUEGHijg/img.gif?width=980" id="3f1bc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e9f33942b69ce33c85bafefe92b46d40" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="410" />joan jett youre living in the past its a new generation GIFGiphy
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Health
<p>Some of the things we put in our bodies are stigmatized for various reasons. </p><p>But these people believe the following should not be blackballed. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Let It Flow
<p>"Tap water. People have been manipulated by bottled water companies to believe that drinking tap water is somehow bad for you. Water quality standards for tap water in most 1st world countries is extremely high."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpb5uzj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">DougCrackheadFord</a><br></p><p>"Monosodium glutamate (MSG). It's just the sodium salt of glutamic acid, and it naturally occurs in many foods. There is literally nothing wrong with it if used in appropriate proportions, same as regular salt. But sadly it was demonized as part of the whole racist 'Chinese restaurant syndrome' that convinced people Chinese food was out to kill us all. The myth prevails to this day."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbi3cl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">mercuryrising137</a><br></p>
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Culture Cuisine
<p>"Taco Bell does not give everyone diarrhea."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpad830?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">albinorhino63</a></p><p>"Honestly, my theory is that is not Taco Bell specifically, but that some people have the notion that Mexican Food gives you diarrhea. If you think about the people who say Taco Bell gives you diarrhea, it's largely the same people who think any ethnic food gives you diarrhea, black pepper is spicy, and that Taco Bell is Mexican food. They say the same thing about Indian food, for instance. South Park even had an episode where a running joke was that blood in your underwear was a natural result of eating Chipotle. So I think it's less about Taco Bell specifically than it is about people who think Taco Bell is Mexican food, and that any kind of "ethnic" food gives you the sh*ts."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbgc4k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">livious1</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Chemical Reaction
<p>"Chemicals. 'Chemical-free' is marketing crap. Everything is a chemical."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbod2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kittehbombastic</a></p><p>"Bacteria automatically gets a bad rap. But most are harmless and some are even beneficial to us. There's both good bacteria and bad bacteria."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpalxvc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sea8cloud8</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>At the end of the day, a good or bad reputation should be about a personal experience and not generalized off of a someone else's opinion. </p><p>Unless of course you're a consumer reading Yelp reviews and looking for the best products and services available. </p><p>But unless you had a limb swallowed by a shark, or gotten food poisoning from eating at Taco Bell, don't go hating on them. <br></p>
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Fast fingers come in handy if you're an avid texter. Just make sure you proofread for typos before hitting "send."
<p>One misplaced letter can change the entire meaning of what you have to say to someone to either hilarious effect or majorly offensive.</p><p>In some scenarios, however, typos are forgivable. Because nobody likes receiving messages conveying bad news.<br></p><p><strong>Curious to hear about the experience of strangers on the internet, Redditor <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Marccccci/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Marccccci</a> asked:</strong><br></p><blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"What's the most disturbing text message you got?"</a></blockquote> <img alt="" src="https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/img/renderTimingPixel.png">
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Downer
<p>Some people would rather be bombarded with notifications than reading these unsettling texts. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Grim Announcement
<p>"'Are you a friend of...?' 'Yeah why?' 'He passed away.' This message came from the account of that friend, so I thought I was getting pranked. It still feels so unreal, losing a friend you met online. I only met him in person once, but I drove 10 hours out to the service anyways, I'd known him online for 5 years. He was only a few years over 20. I'll miss that man."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp288lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">its_ya_boi_big_ghoul</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Worst False Alarm Ever
<p>"Emergency Alert."</p><p>"BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL."</p><p>"Would have got to be the worst one, surely?" </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gozs00g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">heisdeadjim_au</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Possibly Dreadful News
<p>"My mom: 'please call me'"</p><p>"Me every time: <em>oh god, dad is dead.:<br></em></p><p><em>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp177bz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ihatereddit1221</a></em><br><em></em></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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One Of Two Things
<p>"Yes! My dad does this."</p><p>"Please call me ASAP."</p><p>"That means either someone died, or he needs help with his router."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp3zia1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SeizureAugustus</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Typos
<p>This is a reminder that even spellcheck can gets things wrong. </p><p>Only you, the sender, knows the context of the message you write. </p>Bad Typo
<p>"Friend texted a colleague 'I locked the keys in the office.' Only, predictive text changed 'keys' to 'Jews'."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp2e697?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Own-Bridge4210</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Oops
<p>"I mass texted a bunch of friends and family about hurricane evacuation and autocorrect changed it to ejaculation. That was a fun day."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp460kw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">wired89</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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One Disturbing And One Devastating
<p>"'I did suck him, so I may have gotten herpes' Sent to me by my dad followed by 'that wasn't meant for you'</p><p>"A second not disturbing but devastating was 'Grandma just went into Hospice. If you want to say goodbye you need to fly out tomorrow.' Got that text on a Tuesday, flew out Wednesday, Grandma died on Friday morning."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp20q8d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Capt_RRye</a><br></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Bizarre Threats
<p>Whether it's a prank call or egregious sarcasm, nobody likes receiving these. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Creepy
<p>"One night just as I was drifting off to sleep, my phone buzzed with the message, 'We're watching,' from an unknown number."</p><p>"I just replied, 'Prepare for boredom.'"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp17exo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">selftypohater</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Sarcastic Threat
<p>"If you're not home in 20 minutes I'll gut your cats and hang them from the ceiling."</p><p>From my husband. While I was in the hospital."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gp21ogk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AliceMorgon</a><br></p>Wrong Number
<p>"I got a message in the middle of the night from an unknown number telling me to stop sleeping with their husband, albeit in somewhat stronger language. I'm pretty certain it wasn't meant for me as I wasn't sleeping with anyone's husband. I replied saying I didn't think the message was meant for me and never heard anything more."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltmerx/whats_the_most_disturbing_text_message_you_got/gozccx3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">nxtec</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The overall consensus seemed to be that news of death in the family or a "there's been an accident" type of messages were the worst ones people received. </p><p>But the next worst case scenario would be a significant other breaking up with you via text.</p><p>The dreadful part about that is not because of the callous delivery of a heartbreaking decision, but because of the new phone required after it's been hurled across the room. </p><p>Not speaking from experience. Maybe.<br></p>
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People Who Clean Up After Large Festivals Break Down The Craziest Things They've Found Left Behind
March 02 | 2021
Outdoor festivals feel like something from some sort of an alternate reality at this point, don't they?
<div>While gathering for an outdoor festival is at the forefront of many people's minds, there's a specific subset of people who're probably happy they're not running any concerts or art gatherings right now.</div><p>The custodial staff.</p><p>Cleaning up after a long alcohol and hormonal-infused romp can't be any fun... right?</p><p>Reddit user, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Damo-reece666/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">u/Damo-reece666</a>, wanted to hear what got left behind when they asked:</p><p><em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/?sort=top" target="_blank">People who clean up after festivals and similar events, what's the best and worst things you have found left behind?</a></em></p>
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The Weirdest Items
<p>Sometimes you'll stumble across the weirdest items at a post-festival cleanup. Without any inhibitions, people won't think twice about leaving something behind, even if that something is maybe worth something or important to their survival.​</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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What Even Is Money?
<p>I helped out some hippie friends of mine running this little hippie festival called Chronophonium, about 500 people camping for 3 days. Lots of themes around sustainability, recycling and what not.</p><p>Almost everyone left brand new tents in disheveled states all over the place.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>You can buy a cheap tent for next to nothing at The Warehouse (New Zealand's Walmart). I reckon people are packing up to go on the last day hungover as f-ck and they just wanna mentally write-off everything and get home asap. These same people would have launched into monologues about wastefulness from big box stores and sustainable re-use at any other time.</p><p>When you're hungover and coming-down from a 3 day bender, principles go out the window.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop0jin?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">NextLineIsMine</a></p>
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At Least They Weren't Frogs?
<p>I'm an usher at my neighbourhood movie theatre so idk if this counts but I found a plastic bag under a seat with 6 guppies swimming around inside so I kept the guppies for myself lol. I had to Google how to take care of fish but it was fun and I still have them today</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop7nbt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">bethanytaylor</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Why Cover It Up? Out Of Shame?
<p>My dad used to be the guy in charge of renting out the Knights of Columbus hall. Per policy, he had to be on-site during the event, but would clean up after. The cleanup would usually be the next day, and I'd come along to help.</p><p>The best thing we found was a $500 tip left behind by the father of the bride after a wedding reception with a little thank-you note.</p><p>The worst was finding the punch bowl the next day after someone had puked in it and put a lid over it. I'm pretty sure it had been spiked with something pretty strong before that, too.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop80ly?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Lentra888</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Lucked Out
<p>Sometimes, working these events leads to some good fortunate. People don't tend to watch their wallets or bags when having too much fun, leading to a great payoff for those forced to sweep up after.</p>Australia Sounds Great
<p>I cleaned up for an event once and it was an event where you weren't allowed to bring your own alcohol in (so they can get you to buy it from the event itself and whatnot) so cops were taking people's alcohol. cool, that's fine.</p><p>I was cleaning up and two cops walked over and asked if I was 18. I showed them my license to prove I was, and they gave me almost $1000 of untouched alcohol that they'd confiscated from people trying to sneak it in. bottles of vodka and tequila, a lot of beer and rum and a bunch of ciders all given to me cause I was a volunteer and not getting paid otherwise. was f-cking great</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop83do?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">dorkynoodleman</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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That's How A Home Begins
<p>I've cleaned up and found entire cooking sets and chairs.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/goounwe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">rickrolo24</a></p><p>Free kitchen</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gooy3uu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Mx-Quack</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Getting The Short End Of The Money Stick
<p>Did it once, as a fundraiser for a youth organisation, and collectively we found £3000 and ten mobile phones, and this was during the days when it was a somewhat luxury to have a phone.</p><p>(clarification edit: I didn't personally find and keep all of the above, this is what was found by the group of us, which was around forty teenagers. I found £35 and no phones)</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gooqnxs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">SlackHandful</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
...Gross
<p>And here's the stories we were all probably expecting.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sh*t Tents? This Has To Be The Worst One...
<p>Bottle of rum, lots and lots of drugs, watches, phones, perfectly good clothes, welly boots, wallets/cash etc.</p><p>Worst is sh-t tents. As in, abandoning your tent but doing a massive sh-t in it before you go so it can't be reused.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop1x9g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">meehaja</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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...Annnnd There It Is.
<p>I did a clean at a 3 day music festival once. </p><p>Literally the first night I had to clean one of the portable shower cubicles, because someone had sh-t in the corner and stuck a cocktail umbrella in it.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gooyw6d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Wheresma10mmsocket</a></p>No, This Is The On-DID YOU SAY A WHAT BODY?
<p>Poop tent.</p><p>It's a 5 gallon bucket filled with laundry detergent with a toilet seat on top placed in a cheap tent. Imagine open that sucker up after 4 days of 100 degree weather.</p><p>Dead body. It was an apparent OD.</p><p>Booze and drugs. Also a nitrous tank. (That night after work was fun)</p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls0vln/people_who_clean_up_after_festivals_and_similar/gop6ldu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Simplekin77</a><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Always clean up after yourself. Pretty sure that's the important takeaway from today. Leave things the way you found it, bring a trash bag, and for the love of all that is holy, take your poop bucket with you.</p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>
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Over-sharing is a thing. Sometimes, people really just cross the line in the information they've decided to volunteer to us.
It's hard to control who does this to us since it tends to take us by surprise, but hearing some of the things that people have suffered having to hear can easily act as cautionary tales to us.
<p>May we all have the serenity to say, "I really don't need to hear this right now."</p><p>u/Butt_Roidholds asked:</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lt3aid/whats_the_most_fucked_up_thing_someone_has_told/" target="_blank">What's the most f**ked up thing someone has told you about themselves after barely getting to know them?</a><br></p><p>Here are some of those stories.</p><p><br></p>
<p class="">Some people are liars, some people are oversharers. Some people are crying for help.</p><p>What would you do if you came across something like this?</p>
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Seriously, Who Asked
<p>I used to work at an animal shelter and we had several people who would come volunteer to help out.</p><p>One of the women who came there on a regular basis went to lunch with me. She was such a sweet woman, a little older than I was at the time. She proceeded to tell me that she used to go to the park and hook up with old men because she felt sorry for them.</p><p>WTF?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/moviesandcats/" target="_blank">moviesandcats</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Decent Bloke....
<p>I (25f at the time) was at A&E in the UK. I got discharged and was waiting for my taxi outside. This buff shirtless dude, covered in tattoos (they were decent too, imo) comes over and asks for a light. I bought a zippo for novelty so I obliged.</p><p>We got to talking and he told me how he had just got out of prison after serving a life sentence for killing his father, after his father murdered his baby sister. Had his records on him and everything (he was at the hospital as he was diabetic and had experienced an issue of some sort after being released - I have no expertise here).</p><p>I have never feared and respected a man so much in my life.</p><p>I bought him a pint after my taxi decided it wouldn't be arriving. Decent bloke - we still speak 9 years later.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heavenhelpyou/" target="_blank">heavenhelpyou</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Oh....Sounds Fun....
<p>My sophomore year In college a girl who I had a group project with told me that her first sexual experience was getting tag teamed by a couple of guys while she was in high school. </p><p>I just told her "wow, that's pretty intense." She told me that she loved it and then I changed the subject. Until that point nothing sexual had come up in the conversation.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Nothing_/" target="_blank">Nothing_</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>Like, who approaches a total stranger and says these things to them?</strong></p>
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TW: Suicide
<p>My manager at my job in high school decided to tell us about how she tried to end her life on my very first day. </p><p>She was like, "One day, I decided to take some pills and end it all. I grabbed a pill bottle out of my mom's cabinet and took a handful without even looking at what it was and then lay down to die. I was so surprised to wake up in the morning perfectly fine. Confused, I checked the bottle to see what I had taken."</p><p>Yeah, it was estrogen.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Please Tell Me About Your Infidelity
<p>My wife loves to tell this story.</p><p>Her first day at a new company she was to meet another employee who would show her around the office. She met her in the lobby and on the elevator ride up to the office she proceeded to tell my wife how her husband has gained some weight and she is considering starting an office affair with a co-worker who is really into fitness and 'has muscles' (apparently she made a gesture where she fanned herself while saying muscles)</p><p>Like literally my wife met this lady 5 minutes earlier for the first time in the lobby and she is already unloading all this stuff on her.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Boxman75/" target="_blank">Boxman75</a></p>TW: Abuse
<p>I was seated next to a quiet kid on a high school band bus to a football game. He'd been in my band class for years, but I had never really spoken to him. He was the type who didn't fit into anything at school that I ever saw. I resolved to get to know him a bit and open up a conversation since we were going to be sitting by each other for a few hours. It was like a dam burst; that dude talked for the whole trip.</p><p>At one point, he told me that his mom was really unhappy with his stepdad but couldn't afford to divorce him. And then he told me that his stepdad would get drunk and beat him with a stick, but he wasn't sure if his mom was also getting beaten and that scared him. There was a brief pause before he said "I never told anyone that before..." Then he changed the subject completely.</p><p>I must've been seventeen or so. It shook me. Like... Obviously I was old enough to know that sort of thing happens, but too sheltered to think it happened to anyone I knew. I told my parents about it-- seemed the right thing to do. I don't know what happened from there. He and I never really spoke of it again. I just looked him up on Facebook, though. Looks like he's done really well for himself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DietrichBuxtehude/" target="_blank">DietrichBuxtehude</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Not The Thing To Tell Your Nurse
<p>I was doing my practice in a hospital. They brought a young man in the neuro clinic, he was my 1st patient. He was around 30 and he had fallen from a tree while working. </p><p>He turned out to have a complicated neurological condition that had nothing to do with his fall. He was also diagnosed with severe depression. He was in there for months and no one ever visited him, the only time he felt a bit better was when I visited him and did some tests to him. </p><p>He said "it's nice when you come and make me play with the coloured toys and make me draw things". One day he was looking out of the window, when I came in he looked me dead in the eye and told me "you know, if the windows didn't have protective bars, I'd jump right out". It was the 1st time I'd heard such thing and I remember it ever since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Shoddy_Natural4217/" target="_blank">Shoddy_Natural4217</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>And it gets dark so very quickly.</strong></p>
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Ope Okay Guess We're Going There
<p>Coworker took out a client for a business lunch at a small town restaurant. He asks the waitress "How are you?" to be polite. </p><p>She proceeds to go on a 5 minute spiel about how terrible her ex husband is and how he's ruining her life and how she feels like crap because of it. After she finishes, takes their order and leaves the customer says "So you must know her pretty well?" </p><p>"Only well enough to say hi in passing." </p><p>"Oh, so then that was just as awkward for you as it was for me then?" </p><p>"Yes, yes it was."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NowhereinSask/" target="_blank">NowhereinSask</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Evidence Is The Burn
<p>Some guy next to me on the bus once went into a long elaborate story about how he burned his house down for insurance money like three weeks prior.</p><p> I wouldn't have believed it if his hands didn't have massive burn scarring.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/STARCRUSHER99/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">STARCRUSHER99</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Who Are You Fooling?
<p>Met this dude in college when he moved into the dorm. Goofy looking redneck kid from the San Antonio area. I'm getting to know him when I notice his Spice Girls cd (this was like 2003), and I commented on it. </p><p>He then goes into this long story of how he was at the Walmart in San Antonio, looking at the CDs in that store and just happened to have bumped into Ginger Spice who invited him into the tour bus that no one had noticed, and he lost his virginity to all the Spice Girls at once.</p><p>My thought was "Thank you for this story, I know instantly that I can never trust or believe anything you ever tell me again." It's been almost 20 years and I still can't believe that was something he said in the first five minutes of meeting me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GreatJanitor/" target="_blank">GreatJanitor</a></p>
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