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"What's a joke that took you an absurdly long time to get?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor Mr. Pokemonn, and it's enough to make us cringe.

How did it take us this long to figure that out? You've likely thought this the older you've become. I mean, just the other day I was reminded of the "Dad's trophy" moment on Dexter's Laboratory and I can't believe how ignorant I was.

That said, there are others out there who are more clueless than I was... and certainly more clueless than you!


"I watched that movie..."

In Blazing Saddles, Bart's friend from the railroad says to him "They said you was hung" and Sheriff Bart replies "And they was right."

I watched that movie a hundred times growing up but it took me well into adulthood to notice the double entendre.

starthirteen

"When I was a dumb kid..."

Giphy

"I can give you ten good reasons to never let go of a dime" - Mr. Krabs

When I was a dumb kid I just thought, "wow, he must really know of a lot of ways to spend 10¢.

nomenclate

"I never got why..."

In Airplane, it was the joke about the character having a drinking problem.

I never got why he was pouring water on his head. That's his problem. He has a drinking problem.

AttonRand1

"Reminds me..."

Reminds me of this bit from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

"It's unpleasantly like being drunk."

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"

"You ask a glass of water."

ConsciousStill

"9 year old me..."

Shrek thinks Farquaad is "compensating for something" when noticing the size of his castle.

9 year old me thought that was a joke about Farquaad's short stature.

MichaelOChe

"The ending..."

The ending of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Took me probably 20 years before someone pointed out that it was a total cop-out.

cbusalex

"I watched the movie..."

The alchemist sequence in Mel Brooks' History of the World Part I:

The Roman general is trying to find the protagonists who are in disguise, using costumes they have taken from a production of The Trojan War.

General: I say, chemist, can you help us?

Alchemist: What are you looking for?

General: A pack of trojans.

Alchemist: snaps his fingers I just ran out.

I watched the movie with my dad when I was 10 or so, and I didn't get this joke, and dad didn't explain it to me. Nearly a decade later I watched it again with a bunch of college buddies, and I was laughing louder than anyone else. The long delay between hearing it the first time and getting it made it even funnier.

pflashan

"I only recently..."

When a person says "I'll see you later" and the other person responds "NOT if I see you first".

I only recently realized that it meant that if they saw you first, that they would hide.

I never actually gave it any thought up until that point, then one day I heard it on a movie and the light came on. <sigh> I'll see you later.

plyslz

"I never questioned..."

When I was a kid, my dad developed a massive cyst on his back, and my mom took to calling it his "third head." I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard, and went around telling anyone who would listen all about it.

I never questioned what the second head was. It took me up until a few years ago (and I'm 28) to realize that my mom was making a dick joke.

ostentia

"I'm sure I've seen..."

I'm sure I've seen Airplane! a dozen times but just today I came across this exchange that I never picked up on:

Ted Striker : My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.

Elaine Dickinson : When will you be back?

Ted Striker : I can't tell you that. It's classified.

RandyBeaman

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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