"No, No, No, I Didn't Mean That"

It's easy to offend people without meaning to, especially when you think you're complimenting them. That's the hard thing about backhanded compliments. We never speak up about how awful they sound because we know they come from a good place. Reddit user, u/b-tchspaghetti, wanted to know about those times when someone put their foot in their mouths when they asked:

What is the most backhanded compliment you have received?

Was Skin Color Involved?

You speak English really well.

Bruh, I was born and raised in Ohio. What do you expect


It's Your Sweet Car

From my first girlfriend, back in high school. I was having a bit of a crisis about how I thought I had a sh-tty personality, so she hit me with "Well, I'm not dating you for your looks."

I know what she was going for, but ouch.


So, Did It Pay Well?

A friend who works in marketing told me a she had a modeling gig I would be perfect for.

It was "very average looking un-intimidating man to model a backpack vacuum cleaner."

I took the job.


Thanks A Lot...

My mom asked what I was up to via text and I've started cooking a lot so I sent her a pic of the dish I made that night.

She responded, "That looks great honey! Now you just have to find someone to share it with."

Thanks Mom.


"Negging" - To Put Down A Woman To Lower Her Guard

"I mean, you're an 8 to me where most guys would give you 5-6"

This was a 16-year-old boy's way of trying to talk me (20 y/o) into dating him after I had said no multiple times. I laughed my a-- off.

Edit// yall made me finally google what negging means


Sometimes, Even You Feel The Pain

My friend, who knows nothing about how to talk to women, got told by my other friend, who knows exactly what to say, that if he doesn't know what to say that he should give her a genuine compliment.

Good idea in practice, but my not-so-eloquent friend got super stressed about not saying something trite/cliché and blurted out "you really don't sweat much" to a girl he was dancing with, and realizing how that wasn't a great line immediately amended it by telling her "you know, for a bigger girl".

Needless to say, things didn't work out so well for him.


At Least You Won

I was playing hide seek with my 8 year-old cousin. She couldn't find me and had My mom come and help her. I heard her say:

"wow for someone so fat she's really good at hiding!"

*my little cousin said that but my mom agreed. I texted my mom from my hiding spot calling them rude.


Caring Is Hard. Noticing Is Harder

"I love how you don't care about how you look and how you dress"

I do :(


How Else Can That Be Taken?

I was talking with an acquaintance about a ski trip with my wife. I told him how I loved to watch her ski, she was so graceful and fluid, and a better skier than me. "Come to think of it," I said, "she is better than me at just about everything."

"That's not true," he replied.

"Why not?" I asked.

"You married better than she did." He responded.


Early, Onset Hair Loss

"you look like you're 12."

I'm near 24... and it's always, 100% without fail, followed up with

"oh don't look so offended, you'll appreciate it when you're older."

I'll just be a balding 36 yr old, with a growing gut and baby face


Compliments That Stay With You

I'm a foreigner. Was at a party in the US for some family. There was a kid there, he may have been between 11/13. He was asking me where I was from and different questions about my accent. At the end he's like," You know your English isn't that bad for it not being your first language." My face dropped, it is my first and only language. I laughed and proceeded to walk away.

It's been years and years ago and I still think about it every once in awhile.


It's Not Supposed To Look Like That

Two girls at work

Girl1: (as she holds some of girl 2s hair) Wow! I wish my hair was this thin, I would save so much time on brushing and money on conditioner!

Girl2: :/


Not What You Appear To Be

You look good for 30, lol I just turned 21 around then.

F my life and my horrible hairline.


What Does That Even Mean?

"You look like a Walmart brand Tom Brady"

Uh, thanks? Lol


Why Take It Back?

A man in a waiting room congratulated me for "being the prettiest face of [his] day," then looked thoughful and followed up with, "Still early, though..."


Just A Little Farther

You lost so much weight! You just need to lose 20 pounds more to look presentable!

  • I had just reached a normal/healthy BMI. I felt bad.


HA! She's Still Wrong

This chick once said "You're super cool and sweet, too bad you're short."

Jokes on her, I'm not cool or sweet.


Throwing Literal Shade

You would've been really pretty if you had fair skin."

I'm from the Philippines and the colorism here is f-cking unreal. Whitening products are all over the place. I'm very tan/brown skinned, so yeah, I get this a lot.


What Is It About You?

I was out on a date with a very attractive young woman... a random guy at the next table decides to approach us. He looks at me, shakes my hand and says "you must have the gift of gab or a really sparkling personality. Your date is beautiful. "


Sometimes, It's Who You Marry

"God, your body is so perfect from the waist down"

-My husband


Sometimes, The Insults Come From Your Own

My mother never approved of me becoming a chef. After years of grind and struggle I finally rose to head chef of a busy, classy restaurant. 2 years after I took the post she finally agreed to come eat (a free meal) at my establishment, we went on my day off so we could enjoy a 6 course meal together....

"Everything is so good, whoever you hired to cook this is really a good chef."

I designed the entire menu and took inexperienced teens under my wing to teach them how to cook with perfection. Mothers are our toughest critics.


H/T: Reddit

Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.

But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Anita S. from Pixabay

Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.

Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Patricia Srigley from Pixabay

Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.


Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedy

to try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?

Keep reading... Show less

We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.

What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.

Keep reading... Show less