Jilted People Reveal Why They Broke Up With Their Best Friend
[rebelmouse-image 18351881 is_animated_gif=A best friend is a special bond based on trust, openness, and honesty. But what happens when these standards break down, and one best friend totally betrays the other? Have you ever had to dump a best friend?
TakinShots asked, [Serious] Why is your ex-best friend an ex-best friend?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Ouch. Hopefully she didn't keep the husband either.
[rebelmouse-image 18351882 is_animated_gif=Because she had an affair with my husband (which I discovered when she had his baby).
Best friends don't do any of these things.
[rebelmouse-image 18351883 is_animated_gif=Invited me (and my 4-year-old daughter) to his home country and excitedly made plans with me for the six months leading up to it. I get there naturally expecting to hang out, but understanding that he has real life obligations (job, wife, etc). Long story short, we get zero time together. I was miffed but made the best of the trip just being away with my daughter.
He came by where I was staying after not communicating with me all week and offered my last weekend away to go to a cabin in the mountains four hours away for a couple nights. I took him up on it because despite being upset about him ditching me, I was hopeful that it was just an off week for him and that we could finally hang out. I really liked the guy and assumed he thought of me as I did him, a brother.
Anyway, we spent the night at the cabin after barely speaking the whole trip there (I tried several times to initiate conversation) and the next morning he promptly kicked me out. IN THE MIDDLE OF F**KING NOWHERE. He said he needed the time with his wife.
There I was, stranded with my luggage and my daughter in a foreign country and not expecting any of this. He was so casual about it "It just didn't work out". I could have knocked his teeth out for that. He gaslighted me over text messages as soon as I got home and I haven't spoken to him since.
He was my best and closest friend. I don't think I'll ever understand why he did that.
A ghosting best friend is no best friend.
[rebelmouse-image 18351885 is_animated_gif=I wish I knew, she one day just stopped talking to me and ignored all my messages.
Addiction shows no mercy.
[rebelmouse-image 18351886 is_animated_gif=He od'ed on heroin.
Sometimes people simply have to move on, as hard as it is.
[rebelmouse-image 18351887 is_animated_gif=She felt that I'm not relevant to her anymore???????
When you get replaced by a toxic relationship...
[rebelmouse-image 18351888 is_animated_gif=She was dating a guy she would always fight with. She would ditch me for him and drugs. She would get mad when I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend. She would call in the middle of the night and ask me to pick her drunk self up only to get in her car and drive home. Basically, it was one-sided and all about her.
MLMs often tell recruits to cut out non-believers from their lives.
[rebelmouse-image 18351889 is_animated_gif=She started selling oils from a pyramid scheme and drank too much Kool-Aid.
When having the biggest of hearts and best of intentions gets you nowhere...
[rebelmouse-image 18351890 is_animated_gif=Because he wouldn't do anything to better himself, no matter how much help I offered. He'd rather sponge charity meals off of other people than try to support himself.
A high school dropout, but a bright enough guy. Would get jobs, not go to work so he could play games with friends instead. Would whine about getting fired like it wasn't his fault. "I only called off fake-sick for my first three Friday nights, I don't see the big deal."
Said (perhaps rightly) that it was because he was a dropout that he couldn't get better jobs.
I offered to pay for him to take his GED classes and for the test. He said he worried it would be too hard. I offered to TAKE the GED classes with him so I could know what the subject was at any given time and help him study...AND I offered to pay for his first year at a community college if he didn't get full financial aid. He kept telling me, "I'd probably just fail you."
The only way he was failing me was by not trying.
Even after all that, I would have still tried to stay friends with him. But he'd also do things like invite ME out to lunch or dinner, then expect me to pay for it every time.
The combination was eventually just more than I wanted to deal with any more.
If it's all about you, this friendship won't do.
[rebelmouse-image 18351891 is_animated_gif=He's a manipulative liar and a huge egotist. Never will speak to him again.
Some people think they deserve to be punished, but onl end up punishing themselves.
[rebelmouse-image 18351892 is_animated_gif=I was best friends with let's call him Chris for many years. Chris was always the life of the party, everyone loved him. Just an overall fun, funny dude, with a good head on his shoulders, but he had very low self-confidence.
I was his best friend for years. We would talk every day, hang out all the time, workout together, etc. Eventually, we all went to college, and Chris and I stayed close friends, but I started hanging out a bit more with a girl, let's call her Maria. Maria was cool, and friendly with Chris, all was well until Maria started inviting her friend "Ashley" along. Ashley was nasty, rude, and well...evil. She treated her friends like absolute shit. I couldn't stand hanging out with her.
But Chris liked her. I think it was just because she paid special attention to him, and because he had such low self-esteem, he felt that this is what he deserved, and it was the best that he could do. They eventually dated, and we all stayed in touch, until one night, they broke up, and he called me in tears.
He explained that he got her a necklace. He went out of his way to pick out something that he thought that she would like, and she threw it back at him and said to return in. I thought that this was so horribly mean, so I told him, "Look, man, I know you think that this girl is right for you, but she's not, and you will realize that when someone better comes along and treats you like a decent human. It was thoughtful of you to do that for her, and she didn't even appreciate the thought, that's horrible." He told me I was right, thanked me, and we made plans to hang out.
Then they got back together a few days later, and I literally never heard from him again. I tried to text him, call him, etc., with no reply. Every year for three years I would text him on his birthday and Christmas just to wish him well, but he never replied. It's sad, but, I think he told Ashley about what I said, and her being completely controlling and manipulative forbade him from seeing me.
My cousin just messaged me the other day that he ran into him and that his number is the same that it has always been. Also, he's married now. I always still thinking about texting him and wishing him well, but I always decide against it. I would never make him choose me over his girlfriend, and I just feel bad that he threw away years of a friendship for this very unpleasant person.
Is it ever too late for second chances?
[rebelmouse-image 18351893 is_animated_gif=My possessive boyfriend made me choose between him and her and I made the wrong decision :( its my biggest regret in life, I miss her so much.
The best friend chose her fate by aligning with bullies.
[rebelmouse-image 18347896 is_animated_gif=She made friends with people who bullied me so I stopped hanging out with her and we drifted apart.
Sabotaging your best friend's relationships? Deal breaker.
[rebelmouse-image 18351894 is_animated_gif=If a guy ever liked me over her she would get him alone and make up nasty things about me to turn them off of me. Took me a few times of interested guys just ghosting me suddenly to realize what was happening. She was super jealous of any other girls getting attention and used to bitch a lot so it didn't surprise me. It's annoying now to see her preach about women supporting women online though.
Admitting to your best friend that you're in love with them? That's risky business.
[rebelmouse-image 18351896 is_animated_gif=Personally, I think it was (and still is) my fault.
I was really good friends with this girl for around 4 years. We did everything together - go to the movies, dine out, chill at each others' house - the usual best buds stuff.
I still don't know how, but somehow, someday, I started developing some feelings for her. Out of fear that my confession would disrupt the friendship, I decided to stay mum. Once, when we were out drinking, we were doing the regular chit-chat when I just...told her.
She just looked at me for a moment and became silent throughout the night. I knew I'd blown it.
So I decided to give her space. I temporarily ceased communication with her. After a week or so, she texted me and told me that she thought about it for a long time and that she doesn't feel the same way.
The now me would have completely understood, but I was an egoist back then. I felt hurt, but I didn't spontaneously retaliate - I decided to let the friendship decay away.
As the days went by, I gradually started decreasing contact with her. It went from "one-worded text replies" to complete ghosting. I felt stupid, but it was my pride at stake, after all (/s).
Eventually, we ceased talking. We still don't talk to this day. I miss her like crazy, but I know I've made the friendship irreparable. Every time "Wish you were here" plays, I remember her and start crying.
For people who are doing what I did - PLEASE don't. It's not worth it; trust me.
Sounds like someone was just trying to stir up drama. No thanks.
[rebelmouse-image 18351897 is_animated_gif=She always had complaints about her other friend, but never listened to any of my advice. I also found out that she was emotionally manipulating her other friends. OK, bye.
People do strange things in order to feel like they fit in, even if what they do is harmful.
[rebelmouse-image 18351898 is_animated_gif=He was a smart guy, very friendly if not a bit lonely. We were both very close as young kids but when we started high school I fell into the 'normie' crowd whilst he quickly made friends with the more troublesome students. He would get into trouble to amuse them and this became a part of his personality in general over time (in fact this happened to a lot of close friends).
This basically ended the friendship after a year or two and what I can't understand is, is that he is still like this, 10 years after high school. C'mon Ed, time to grow up.
Toxic people spread misery.
[rebelmouse-image 18351899 is_animated_gif=I hate conflict, especially with loved ones. I always try to avoid escalating a dispute in any way I can - even if that means putting someone else's wants before mine.
I was upset with this person over how their uninvited friends crashed and treated me at my own birthday party. I spent the night crying in a corner of the place. As respectfully as I could, I raised this issue to said best friend a couple of days later and they completely exploded on me. Their insults ranged from how ungrateful I was to them to what a horrible friend I am. As a bonus, they even told me that me learning how to speak up for myself shouldn't be tested out on them because I have plenty more fake friends to call out.
I cut contact after that without looking back and the weight off my shoulders is much lighter :)
Best friend literally stealing your man? Girl bye.
[rebelmouse-image 18351901 is_animated_gif=Was best friends with a girl for many years. It was basically a sappy "girls' night" movie type thing. We shared clothes, had sleepovers, got ready for parties together, texted all the time. People thought we were sisters. Also, this is into our late 20s, not grade school.
I was dating a guy that I was absolutely nuts about. Long story short, he went from amazing and charming to condescending and mean. I was absolutely heartbroken about it and confided in my best friend, of course. I detailed to her all the reasons why it didn't work out and she watched sad movies and ate ice cream with me.
Suddenly best friend was less and less available. I'd ask what she was up to and get weird strained answers. I asked her on several occasions if she was seeing my ex (she'd expressed an interest before we dated), and she said no.
This goes on for several weeks until I get a pocket dial from her on my voicemail. It's literally her flirting with my ex and talking about all the reasons we broke up and why that's not a problem for her.
I texted her to ask what she was up to, she lied, so I made an audio file of the voicemail to send to her and never heard from her again.
Friendships require trust and honesty. Without those, what's the point?
[rebelmouse-image 18351902 is_animated_gif=I started realizing how often she was lying about things. Even little things that I couldn't understand why she would even bother lying about them.
After I was aware of the compulsive lying, I just couldn't trust anything she ever said and I started to disconnect.
- People Share How Their BFF Became Their Ex-Friend - George Takei ›
- People Divulge The Real Reason They Dropped A Childhood Best Friend - George Takei ›
- People Break Down What Can Instantly Ruin A Friendship - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Why They Stopped Talking To Their Childhood Best Friend - George Takei ›
- People Share The Real Reason They Cut All Ties With A Friend - George Takei ›
- People Explain Why They Really Severed All Ties With Their Best Friend - George Takei ›
There are just some actions we never grow out of.
When it's time to grow up... grow up.
Let's discuss the signs and scenarios we should know about.
Redditor Grouchy-Trip9582 wanted the grown ups reading to listen up and act their age.They asked:
"What is a childish behaviour adults do that makes you cringe?"
Why do some children behave better than adults? It makes no sense. Let's hear some explaining.
Simple Answer
"Getting mad when someone tells them 'No.'"
lurklurklurkPOST
Walk Away
"At the bakery where I work, we offer free cookies to kids under 12 as long as they have a parent with them. As you can imagine, we run out quickly. I've seen a couple of adults scream and cry after telling them we've run out of cookies, like I've just run over their puppy or something. The kids usually just shrug it off and walk away."
pelovo2727
Tantrums
"Yelling at their children on the subway basically having a tantrum as the actual child silently stares or spaces out."
hereforalittle89
"It’s the most upsetting reaction for me to see when a kid is being yelled at, honestly. Because most of the time you just know it’s such a common happening and they’re so used to it this is the way they cope."
"I know I’m not a perfect parent and I lose my temper here and there but I truly hope I don’t get to this point or where others see me as this type of parent. I think a lot of those parents, though, are also victims who haven’t figured out how to end the cycle of abuse/poor treatment. It is how they were raised so it is all they know and that is also sad. Trauma creating more trauma. :( "
slynnc
Nasty
"Getting mad at or demeaning cashiers/fast food workers."
Zombie_Woot
"I wouldn't even call this 'childish' behavior, because kids generally don't even do this. It is only done by overly-entitled adults with superiority complexes and impulse control."
samanime
Oh Ma...
"My mother sticks her fingers in her ears and goes 'lalalala' whenever someone is proving her wrong. All the time. Consistently."
SuzaFaber
Oh, I've lost track of how many times I've met these people. How are these adults?
Sorry
"The inability to apologize/admit when they are wrong... I just think it's so strange. Like... No one expects you to be perfect."
ContractLittle8444
Own Up
"Blame others instead of taking responsibility for their actions."
Ok_Chocolate3253
"When people refuse to take accountability it is literally the worst. Even something as simple as, 'My God, you’re right. I’m so sorry I’m not sure what I was thinking.' Can really do so much to repair and mend relationships with others."
GeraldoLucia
"This is not childish, this is manipulation."
MiloLeoCat
Sales
"I was at Sports Authority for the final clearance sale. They had three weeks left until their doors closed for good so there were only about four employees left on staff and they had all completely run out of f**ks to give. Well this one lady pushes her way to the front of the line saying 'I had to wait so long to get help out there I shouldn’t have to wait in line.'"
"The woman at the register ignores her and continues to check out a different customer. Impatient lady tosses her things on the counter so the employee pushes them to the side and says 'I can help the next person in line' naturally impatient lady loses it completely, yelling at the employee; you know the drill 'speak to your manager, customer is always right, call corporate, I’m a busy woman with places to go' entitled person's greatest hits."
"The manager walks over to defuse the situation impatient lady starts yelling and the guy behind her in line (whom she cut in front of) steps in to explain she tried to jump the line and the cashier was just helping those who had already been waiting."
"The cashier looks at her manager with a ‘what are you gonna do? Fire me?’ Face. The manager looks at impatient lady and says 'you can either wait in line like everybody else or you can leave' she looked for a second like she was going to explode but just stormed out. It was amazing watching retail workers be able to say the things you know they wanted to say to every difficult customer."
visoge2723
Inside Voice
"Having a screaming match like kids on playground."
Quirkyserenefrenzy
"Some of my neighbours are like this, having huge screaming matches in the parking lot of their building or out on their balcony. It's like they want the world to witness their argument, which makes it feel extremely performative. Like they're not arguing because of a real disagreement, they're arguing for the benefit of their audience. I can't even raise my voice in public, so this mentality is very alien to me."
socksnchachachas
Go Away
"My mom’s piece of crap boyfriend flipping over a table and storming out of a restaurant because they wouldn’t give him a discount for some bulls**t reason he made up. He was always asking to talk to the manager to get discounts and free stuff. Usually he’d get it too because those people aren’t paid enough to deal with angry morons like him. He died a few years ago fortunately."
kacidon133
Did y'all read carefully? Grow up.
On occasion, all of us look in a mirror and wish there was something about our physical characteristics that was different.
Being a few inches taller, having a different hair color, maybe a smaller nose.
But then, as we continue to stare at our reflection, we might suddenly realize there are some things about ourselves which we don't mind at all.
In fact, we might even be proud of our eye color, the shape of our ears, or having an enviable jawline.
For most people, finding their best attribute might not be so difficult to determine, owing to slim pickings.
But for those blessed with good genetics, choosing their best physical trait might be a bit more difficult.
Redditor askredditiscool was curious to hear what people with enviable genetics considered their best physical quality, leading them to ask:
"People who have 'won the genetic lottery' what qualities do you have?"
Come and get me!
"I'm not allergic to mosquito spit."
"So they bite me and I feel the pin prick, but I never get that red swollen itchy-as-hell welt."
"I also apparently taste bad enough to them that they will go for anyone else in the area before me."
"Ticks, on the other hand, will hunt me for f*cking miles."- open_door_policy
Million Dollar Smile
"No wisdom teeth!"
"The trade off is the ticking time bomb that is my cancer genetic..."- Opin88
"My teeth are nearly perfect."
"Whenever I switch dentists, they are a bit stunned at the first appointment."
"My husband hates me for it."- BilobaBaby
So flexible!
"I can actually lick my elbow."- Soulerous
Unbreakable?
"Strong bones."
"At age 72 I've fallen several times in the last few year, low blood pressure, and have never broken a bone in my life."- Duegatti
Pure blood indeed!
"Not a single blood related person who had or has cancer for at least 3 generations."
"Meaning parents, grand parents and grand grand parents and all their children and children's children."
"Or any other inheritable disease."- yohoho_99
Sleeping Beauty ain't got nothing on me...
"I inherited the Sleep Button gene from my grandfather."
"When I want to fall asleep, I just... do ...in a matter of minutes."
"I haven't struggled with falling asleep/waking up more than ten times in my entire lifetime."
"I can't nap for sh*t."- VertebrateCrossing
I got time...
"Not sure yet but like I may live a really long time."
"People on my mom's side just have exceptional lifespans."
"My great grandma got in a bad fire at age 45 and had third-degree burns everywhere."
"No one thought she'd recover or live very long."
"Out of pure spite for the husband she has been separated with for 23 years, she lived till she was 96."
"This was in India and she was upper lower-class."
"Meaning the healthcare was sh*tty."
"My great great grandpa lived till he was around 116."
"He maintained his capability and independence till the very end."
"In his last few years, he started to lose his eyesight and hearing but he still cooked his own food, bathed himself, did the house chores, etc."
"My grandpa is at 78 right now and he'll hopefully remain in good health."- a-lovelyy-ladyy
Some people are just born lucky.
True, it's what's inside that counts.
Which doesn't mean we don't still wish we had perfect teeth every now and then...
Self-awareness is a strong and admirable quality which far too few people have.
Particularly as those who are truly self-aware are often willing and able to admit when they're wrong, or if there is something about their personality which could, and probably should, be changed.
Truth be told, it doesn't take a great deal of self-awareness to realize and acknowledge your less than admirable traits.
More than likely, these are the things about ourselves that we've likely hoped we might change for a very long time.
Redditor sound-hub was eager to hear people share their least admirable qualities, leading them to ask:
"What's one bad trait about you?"
Give people some closure!
"I never finish the things that I"- BadAndNationwide
I just can't stop
"Having an addictive personality."
"If there's an activity or substance that triggers dopamine release, I'll probably take it to an extreme."- DeathSpiral321
I don't want to get out of bed..
"My laziness will be the death of me."- A_R_K_S
I can't, I'll never be able to...
"Pessimism and lack of confidence."- Iamnothuman77
"I lack confidence."
"I constantly try to get reassurance or double checks on my decisions before making them."
"It has helped me to avoid making certain mistakes but I feel like if I was more confident in myself, I'd be better off."- HumbleOwl
I don't need the help, so stop asking!
"I’m too prideful."
"I don’t ask for help when I need it and make myself miserable powering through a sh*tty task or situation."
"It’s a problem."
"I’m trying to break myself of it."- like5or6
Hurry Up!!!
"I got no patience.. non.. nada."- shine_hunter
Do you think they'll like it? Oh I hope they do...
"I’m too much of a people pleaser."- Positive-Help6449
I'd rather not say...
"I don’t talk."- TheCowOfArdonia
I'm kidding!
"I use sarcasm too often."- The_StankyBoot
It's brave to admit the things about yourself that could be improved.
But it's important that this is how you feel, and not how others perceive you.
Only then should you even begin to think about changing any part of yourself.
It's hard not to look back in life on some things we wish we handled them differently.
Some of these are relatively minor, like wishing we chose a different hotel on a vacation, or being a bit more friendly to certain people in middle school.
But sometimes, we look back on decisions we made, and wonder if our lives might be different had we not made certain decisions, or behaved in a certain way.
Redditor lillyrosebennet was curious to hear what the Reddit community regrets most in their lives, leading them to ask:
"What do you regret?"
Who care's what other people think?
"Putting my self worth into the hands of others."- scaryboilednoodles
Oh, what could have been...
"Not realizing this beautiful girl in high school was flirting with me."- South_Ad8256
Take your life and education seriously
"Not going to class nearly enough my freshman year of college."
"I dug myself a HUGE hole because I thought it was a better idea to drink on weeknights, play Starcraft, and hang out bullsh*tting in people's dorm rooms until 4am than actually attend lectures and do work."- DaisyCutter312
"Not taking my life seriously at a younger age."- ogue-Jedi
Learning more about others
"Not talking more to my grandma about her life."
"She's passed not long ago and even though I was there at least once a month in the last year, which is not so little regarding the distance, I just wish I had asked more about how she was like, when she was my age."
"She wrote a memoir and she has lots of diaries, but I think she started writing them later on."
"I was just so scared of making her relive her trauma."
"But I really miss her and I wish we could've had more time to talk."- MyCatIsUpsiideDown
There's a reason it didn't work
Going back to exes that treat me poorly just because it’s comfortable."
"It’s not my job to fix people or save morons from their own stupidity."
"It’s like I always think I can fix it when it’s clear they’re just toxic and incapable of healthy relationships."
"Then I feel even worse when it falls apart the second time."- SupportMoist
It's not so difficult to listen
"Not communicating enough in my relationship."
"My overthinking ruined it some more."- Ok_Moose235
Caring for my body
"Smoking cigarettes."- rowfeh
Missing the chance to make things right.
"The last words I said to my dad when I was 9, was 'I hate you'."
"It was over a stupid little misunderstanding."
"He passed away the next morning, and I will never forgive myself for that."- DismalSplit5792
Finding more lucrative employment.
"Getting a degree in a 'helping field' (therapy/social work) rather than getting one that pays well and helping others from that comfortable position."
"It's very difficult providing assistance and guidance for others when you can't afford to go to the doctor, the dentist, or even your own therapist, let alone ever afford a vacation or anything meaningful."- HiCommaJoel
It's hard not to have those "coulda, woulda, shoulda" moments in life.
But even if some things can't be changed or undone, it's important to remember that improving one's life can't be done looking back.
Instead, we have to learn from our past mistakes, to make wiser decisions moving forward.