Jetsetting Americans Share Their Most Clueless European Vacation Moments

Jetsetting Americans Share Their Most Clueless European Vacation Moments
[rebelmouse-image 18348959 is_animated_gif=_There is a whole, big, crazy world out there to go see. And when Americans wander beyond the gates they can be shocked by some of the cultural differences. Or just by the difference in diet and vodka. _
Redditor _Cyber-Goninquired what are the biggest surprise that await American travelers abroad. _
WHO DOESN'T LOVE CALAMARI?
Had a positive WTF moment in Greece in the eastern Peloponnese where I saw a guy walk down to the end of a pier and throw an actual trident into the Aegean and pull out a wriggling octopus. Dude walked up the beach and handed it over the deck railing to a chef.
NEVER DRINK THE WATER!
[rebelmouse-image 18351869 is_animated_gif=Spent a summer in Germany. They had the cleanest/safest/best tasting tap water, but nobody drank it and they called it toilet water.
Also the older people in village seemed super grumpy and mean and would never smile or respond if you said hello or good morning, BUT if you asked them a substantive question, like how to get to the museum, they would spend 15 minutes telling you the fastest way to get there, the scenic way to get there, everything interesting you should do on the way there, why that museum isn't actually that good and you should go to this other museum instead, all the different ways to get to the better museum, and where their grandmother used to live before the war.
SOCCER IS NO JOKE!
[rebelmouse-image 18351870 is_animated_gif=Going to a soccer game in Italy. When buying a ticket, they needed to know which team I was rooting for to determine where I could sit. Then, during the game, people were setting things on fire.
SUNDAY FUNDAY!
[rebelmouse-image 18351871 is_animated_gif=WTF Europe: When you realize that everything is closed on Sunday, because Sunday is sacred. Not in a religious way necessarily, but in a "our free time is sacred." Took a train through the German countryside on a Sunday and the fields were just full of people doing stereotypical free time activities: afternoon strolls, kites and model airplanes, fishing, etc.
THE BIRDS! THE BIRDS!
[rebelmouse-image 18351872 is_animated_gif=We were driving through Spain, and to the side of one of the roads, we noticed these MASSIVE bird nests in the high power electrical towers. They were at least twice the size of eagles nests that I had seen. And there were so many of them!
Then we saw these giant birds in them! We stopped by the side of the road and tried to take some pictures (didn't have a great zoom lens, sadly). But no one else was stopping. It was so odd. We are accustomed to at least a few people stopping to watch the osprey, eagles, or other birds where I'm from. So a few days later, we are chatting with a German tourist, and we bring up the birds... I think she thought we were joking until we pulled out the pictures. Then she started laughing. Storks. Those are storks. Of course, don't you know that? They are everywhere and such a nuisance. Don't you have storks in America?
Well... no?
Then she looked confused. Well, if you don't have storks, who brings the babies in kids stories? Storks. Um...how does that work?
And that was when we realized that the story of the storks makes a whole lot more sense when storks are nesting on every chimney, tree, or tall place....
BOW DOWN TO ROYALTY!
[rebelmouse-image 18356241 is_animated_gif=Went to Dover England and saw a FREAKING castle. The newest section was built like 300-400 years before my country was founded. Turned a corner and the next part was 200 years older than that. Ten minutes later walk up to a Roman light house built 2000 years ago. Daaaammmnnn!!
PENNIES ADD UP.
[rebelmouse-image 18978480 is_animated_gif=When I visited Prague and water cost two crowns and beer cost one.
UMBRELLA... ELLA... ELLA...
[rebelmouse-image 18978481 is_animated_gif=One time in Rome, it started pouring. As I sought shelter, I saw an older man selling one single umbrella. Strange as it was, I needed that umbrella, so I haggled with him and settled on 3 Euro (he had the upper hand in that transaction).
I wander over to a coffee shop to dry out for a little bit. When I go to leave, the umbrella is no longer in the bucket by the door. Upset at myself for being so trusting, I head into the rain again. Guess who I see? The same old man selling the same umbrella. I try to confront him about stealing back my umbrella, but he claims not to remember our interaction at all. It's pouring and I have a number of miles to walk, so I go through the same charade with him again to re-procure the umbrella.
At least this time he took 2 Euro...
IT'S ALL IN THE SERVICE.
[rebelmouse-image 18352416 is_animated_gif=Went to Sweden on a vacation package. Stayed at a wonderful historic hotel for part of the trip that had a restaurant inside of it. Part of our package called for a free dinner at the hotel and we had asked that it be the night we arrived.
We arrived and got settled in our room and then went to check out the restaurant. As soon as we walked in, there was no one there, only a hostess. She immediately said they were expecting us and we could sit anywhere. There was no one else in this gorgeous, ornate restaurant. A waiter came out and said they had prepared a special meal for us. We asked why it was so empty and he said the restaurant was closed one day a week and today was that day.
We were shocked, we apologized profusely and told them that we had booked through another company and would have just scheduled it for another day. He said it was no problem and we had some free extras such as wine and dessert. The main course ended up being a huge piece of meat, which we jokingly said must have been because we were big fat Americans. No one rushed us, we had a great time, and after we left they closed the restaurant for the night.
It was a total WTF moment because if you booked something like this in America, they'd either force you to reschedule or just have the restaurant closed with no explanation.
WHAT'S THE RUSH?
[rebelmouse-image 18978482 is_animated_gif=every meal in Paris taking 3 hours.
I loved the culture and I'm all about eating a relaxing meal, but sometimes it was just like "wtf" when we were on a schedule and had to meet up with a tour group or had reservations for something.
THOSE PESKY DANES.
[rebelmouse-image 18978483 is_animated_gif=My American friends who visited The Netherlands: Completely surprised by our bicycle 'things':
a) so many bicycles -everywhere-
b) everybody riding without a helmet
c) so many different bicycles
HISTORY ALWAYS PLAYS A PART.
[rebelmouse-image 18350897 is_animated_gif=It was subtle at first, but it eventually boggled my mind how old everything was and it was still integrated into everyday life. Like in the UK, drinking in pub that had been in the same spot since the 11th Century, or eating dinner at restaurant in an 18th cathedral. Or in Prague going to club in a 14th Century stone cellar or staying a hotel/brewery that had be operating since the 15th Century.
The oldest building in my vicinity is from the 1750s (which is prehistoric by US standards), but, like, someone in Europe sees a building that is half a millenia old that no one is using and they're like, "Let's turn this into a disco." I loved it.
NO FLIES FOR YOU!
[rebelmouse-image 18978484 is_animated_gif=For me it was a lack of insects in England. Not that they don't exist but I'm from Michigan with lots of swampy land around me. When I showed up at my dorm and saw there was no screen on my window I was just thinking about all of the bugs that are gonna get in my room. I got one fly the entire month stay there.
I THOUGHT BIRTHDAY SUITS HAD AGE RESTRICTIONS.
[rebelmouse-image 18978485 is_animated_gif=At a lake retreat in Germany, kids playing in/around the lake naked.
GOTTA GO GOTTA GO GOTTA RIGHT NOW!
[rebelmouse-image 18978486 is_animated_gif=Paying to use a public restroom. I get why though. Just a horrible feeling if you really had to go and you don't have any change.
HANGING OUT IN A GHOST TOWN.
[rebelmouse-image 18349533 is_animated_gif=I was in Italy and wanted to grab a bite and a beer for some lunch. I left the flat and I was flabbergasted to find the entire town was empty. Everything was closed, not even the neighborhood dogs were around!
KEEP IT SPIC AND SPAN.
[rebelmouse-image 18978487 is_animated_gif=Every night in Spain, around 3 a.m. this MASSIVE fleet of street scrubbers, vacuum-mobiles, and water hoses appeared and cleaned the entire city for about an hour. It was like ~100 people every night just cleaning the city. The following morning, all of Salamanca was spotless. That s*was magical.
EVERY CALORIE COUNTS.
[rebelmouse-image 18354179 is_animated_gif=In Spain, everyone appears to be very thin, yet I swear eats a loaf of bread a day.
DO YOU FEEL THAT NEED FOR SPEED?
[rebelmouse-image 18978488 is_animated_gif=In Italy there is virtually no threshold for how much distance should be left between a speeding car and any obstacles (including pedestrians) it is zooming past.
A bus driver will rush down a narrow cobblestone street with about a centimeter to spare between the sides of the bus and any parked cars, walls, ancient monuments, or playing children.
HEALTHCARE FOR ALL! WHY IS THAT HARD?
[rebelmouse-image 18978489 is_animated_gif=When I? visited the hospital and had X-rays done, spoke with two doctors and was triaged by a nurse, all with no health insurance, and my total bill was 24euros. Then I? had to pay 10 additional euros for some painkillers, again with no insurance or anything.
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
Communications
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Melonqualia
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
orangecrushhhh
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
UntiltheEndoftheline
Will U?
"Proposing mid intercourse."
Immortal_D_Class
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Weird_Spinach
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
idkburneridkidk
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
BranTheBrokens
Experts
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
KathAlMyPal
Yuck
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
Whats4dinner
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
ADDYISSUES89
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
addicted_to_blistex
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
maybememaybeno
Damn Pat
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
Less-Market9641
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
Proper-Beach8368
I KNOW!!
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
drunky_crowette
Flavors
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
thegrimrita
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
Peace
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
grayestorm
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
cheezkurls
Staying Put
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
EchoOfShadow
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
Tru-Queer
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
ablondedude
Problems
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
Zdos123
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
dr-305
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
if_itsMolly
Isolated
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
Torturephile
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
DinoHunter64
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Toxic
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
muchkoku
Alone Forever
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
No_Leader_2711
taking space
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
yodacat24
Bad Loop
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
_uberwench_
"This is my story right here."
xxshole
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcruse
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321
Truly tragic.
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Alternative facts?
Oh yeah, probably not....