Having a romantic relationship with someone who has a very different style of communication can be a challenge. Making it work requires effort and compromise, it requires fearlessly facing your own feelings and insecurities - ok most relationships require that, but you get the point. It's not easy. But what do you do when those different communication styles start to eat away at something you used to love doing together?
One heartbroken Reddit user is asking that question now. Every couple has their "thing" and hers with her partner used to be comic conventions. The two would spend days immersed in comics and fantasy together, making friends, talking about the stories they loved and generally bonding. Her more outgoing personality meant that she made friends faster and was more immediately personable with celebrities and creatives that they meet. It took him a little longer to warm up, but in the end they both made great connections.
As time passed, her outgoing personality has become a point of contention. Her boyfriend has gotten jealous of her ability to quickly connect and has kind of started to hold it against her. He's begun accusing her of ruining his encounters, so she's stopped talking during them. He's told her that creatives are only nice to her because they must be attracted to her. He's told her that his multiple awkward silences were her fault. Overall, it seems like he's turned a thing they loved into a sort of competition and reason to feel bad for himself. Here's her initial post:
My partner and I have been together four years, and we're really into comic book conventions.
In the last couple years, we've particularly gone out of our way to meet a lot of creators and voice actors we like, and have prints and stuff signed. It's been a lot of fun!
Or, I guess it was for a little bit.
Lately I've noticed a pattern where the moment we walk away, he gets mopey about feeling like the moment was wasted for some reason or another. He puts too much stock into having such an immediate rapport with a cool stranger, and then feels bad when it isn't some magical experience. There are celebrities he can't stand now because he felt like they weren't immediately warm and friendly. To make matters worse, he gets too shy and nervous to really say much, so he's always kicking himself later.
I, on the other hand, don't put too stock in all this. I try to assume the best of people and not define them by the two minutes I interacted with them - honestly, when you're talking to people non-stop I'm sure it all blurs together, so I take everything with a grain of salt. I just try not to take it too seriously. I'm decent at small talk and don't have any problems interacting with people I don't know, so I keep it light and breezy.
There were a couple points where later, my boyfriend said that it felt like I'd dominated the conversation and wasn't letting him say anything. I felt really bad, so I made a point to scale back, especially if this was a person he was more invested in than I was.
I feel like people treat us like we're a unit, and not like it reflects badly on him if I break the ice first, but I didn't want to stress him out when this is something that already makes him flustered.
So, now there's just more awkward silences, and it feels like if I say anything at all, he acts like it was a disaster.
Lately he's been saying everyone just likes me better, or it's all just because I'm a girl. It's starting to really hurt my feelings. I keep saying I really think he should just get in line for this stuff alone from now on, since he keeps feeling bad and then making me feel bad. He acts like I'm overreacting, and that this is a fun thing we like to do together.
It's not anymore.
I think I'd be fine just doing other stuff at cons, but I also kind of want to actually address this. I feel like if it was the reverse, and he had like, a funny moment with a famous person or whatever, I'd just be happy for him. He's never happy for me about things like that, he just treats me like competition and gets way too wrapped up in the whole thing. I feel like his negative reaction to me is just an extension of how nervous he gets, but I really don't like that if I have a decent moment with a creator I enjoy, it's instantly ruined by my boyfriend either turning this into self-pity or acting like they must have been attracted to me (ew?).
Is there anyone else who gets like this, and knows what needs to happen for him to chill the hell out?
She turned to Reddit for help - and Reddit had no problem stepping in with suggestions. They're not always kind, but they're certainly honest and most are pretty insightful! Here are some of the responses that stuck out to us; edited for language or clarity when needed.
Go Your Separate WaysGiphy
Maybe do things separate at cons, I think it's silly for him to blame you for his shyness. Maybe pick who you're meeting beforehand and see the actors/creators separately then no one's 'ruining' it for anyone else.
It's such a shame though, it sounds like you and your boyfriend do some super cool stuff together.
But if he's gonna get moody and annoyed, then you have your fun and let him have his, you can always meet up after and share you're awesome meetings!
Low Self Esteem
It's sad. It sounds to me like he suffers from really low self esteem and he keeps getting more disappointed because of his own failure at socialising. It's a vicious cycle at this point.
You're not doing anything wrong. He needs help with his low self esteem and with breaking this negative cycle.
A Spoiled Child
Just refuse to get in the line with him. He's acting like a spoiled child and you should not tolerate it. It's not a fun thing you do together, it's an excuse for him to put you down.
"Beating Me At MY Thing"Giphy
So, when I first read your story, I thought "wow, what a jerk. He should just let her be great." Then I realized that I actually do this to my fiancé in another aspect of life.
We've been together for about 4 years. We were both independently really into fitness before dating, but we started doing races and classes jointly when we got together. It brought out a very nasty side in me. If we were on a practice run and he was ahead of me, sometimes I'd get upset and once I even cried (yes, I know this is crazy.) If we were in a competitive cycling class and he was beating me, I'd feel discouraged and angry. If he won a race we trained for together, I wasn't happy for him. I am not jealous of him in other aspects of our relationship and we have a very balanced and healthy thing going, so I examined it a bit.
I realized that it hurt me because in those moments it felt like he was beating me at MY thing, a thing that made me feel like myself even before he was my boyfriend. I took control of it and set some boundaries, and we haven't had the issue since. I also needed to do some soul searching about my own self worth and figure out why fitness made me happy (aka it's not a competition.) I think you need to talk to him about it, because the solution should probably start with him and how he is approaching Cons. I'd also consider doing Cons separately, or go with friends and then meet up afterwards. Good luck!
This hasn't happened with my boyfriend, but we very much have the same dynamics as you and yours. I'm an introvert at the end of the day, but when I put on my "people face" I'm quite good at keeping a casual conversation going - I was a cashier, and like you mentioned, a breezy 2-minute conversation is easy for me.
We saw a small, intimate show of a band my boyfriend loved. He's somewhat of an extrovert - I think he was really lonely before we met - but he has trouble breaking into social conversations too. He's terrible at parties, frankly; he'd pull out his phone or else start a debate, until I shut that down hard. He has trouble with easy banter.
Anyway, I cared way less about this artist, just like you, so I frankly did him a favor (which I didn't mind at all and was easy) by going up to the artist after the show, dragging my shy boyfriend, and being like "guys, that was amazing! You're so good! Blah blah blah," and then turned it over to my boyfriend by being like "he's loved you guys forever and I'm so happy he brought me!", which provided a really good space for my bf to pick it up and be like "yeah, I loved X album" or whatever, and it went from there for a minute.
Honestly, I'd be annoyed if my boyfriend pulled this resentful sh!t; he doesn't. But if you're a more graceful person than I, a decent way to balance this might be for you to have a sense of the people he REEALLLY wants to meet, and pay him that lip service/keep yourself in the shadow after making him an opening. It's a nice favor that'll really really help. Obviously that doesn't have to happen every time, either - if you do care about someone, talk to them, of course - but to give him that foot in the door by doing something you do better + then letting him have it is a kindness. My boyfriend was super happy, and I was happy I got to exchange that first sentence, which was really all I needed.
Take Mini Breaks
Oh man can I relate!
I love Con's. I've been to SDCC over 10 times and the smaller ones too.
And any girl that's gone with me has straight up hated me by the middle of them. It's not deliberate there's just SO MUCH there's content, meetings, tournaments, panels, lines, exclusives, stuff for sale. It's overwhelming, and I wind up taking it out on the person closest to me and that's never ok. It happens because you have these expectations built up in your head about what you want to have happen and you want that person next to you to be reading your mind and being in the same head space and it's just not possible. There's just so much stuff and everyone likes/wants something different.
Honestly the best course of action is to take mini breaks from each other. One person goes right the other goes left. If something really cool or important comes up you use the row flags to tell the other person where you are and to get over to meet you asap. You actually feel better because your covering more ground and less likely to miss something because you have another set of eyes looking out for anything cool that might interest you. You don't have to spend the whole con apart and you don't have to spend the whole con joined at the hip either.
If your worried about a bad photo-op being missed don't worry there's always someone willing to snap a photo for you.
Con's are an emotional roller coaster. For the sake of any relationship's health and sanity split off and regroup for mini breaks and you can get along better after.
Different Methods Of Socialization
I was going to suggest just doing your own thing at cons. My husband and I do this a lot when we go to parties because we just have different methods of socialization. It works!
Invisible Without YouGiphy
To maybe give you some perspective - I had a friend I used to go out to some regular events at bars all the time. A few events were weekly or bi-weekly. She was an attractive woman who was very outgoing and bubbly. I struggle from social anxiety. There were quite a few people who would strike up conversations with us semi-regularly, and we'd chat for a bit during breaks in the event, etc. I would usually be pretty involved in the conversation, my social anxiety was generally less present when I was with a friend.
But when I went to those events without her, some of those same guys wouldn't even bother saying "hi" to me if I said "hi" or tried to strike up a conversation. It was like I didn't exist, because in this case a huge part of why they were interacting with us was because of her. So from her perspective, to quote you, people would "treat us like a unit", but without her, I was a lot more invisible. (I will note that not everyone was like that, but enough that it took a toll on my confidence).
It's still a pattern I run into with some of my attractive and outgoing friends (men and women) in some social situations - if they're not around, I have to do a lot more legwork in terms of taking the initiative to strike up conversations and meet people, as opposed to people voluntarily asking to join our trivia group, etc). I have to be careful to not let it impact my anxiety or my social confidence.
I draw the parallels only to help highlight maybe what he's feeling. It costs a lot to put himself out there, but then he feels like people are only interested in you. None of that is your fault, and a lot of that probably stems from his own anxieties and insecurities - the idea that these people wouldn't be talking to him at all if you weren't there. At a lot of cons, there's enough of a gender imbalance that woman sometimes do get more social attention, in terms of people striking up conversations, etc. That shouldn't apply to situations like autographs and pictures with creators, but it's entirely possible he feels that way about other social situations you get into at the cons, and those feelings are all getting blurred together - the idea that the guy who struck up a conversation in the food line might not have bothered if it was just him out. And, to be blunt, it's a painful bit of self actualization to tell yourself "I'm just less interesting to talk to." than "Well they like her because she's a girl".
I'm making a lot of assumptions, but his comments about "liking you more because you're a girl" make me suspect it's less about the celebrity interactions, and more about how the rest of social interaction at the con tends to go. It just gets to him when it comes to people he's excited to meet, because he's internalized this idea that people are only interested in talking to you.
To picture an inverse situation, imagine if your boyfriend always went to cons with a really great cosplay, and people were constantly talking to him or trying to strike up a conversation - and they were social with you then, but any time you separated from your boyfriend, noone was interested in talking to you.
Unfortunately for all I typed here, I don't have an offhand solution. You can try to make sure he feels included in the conversation, but it sounds like you do and it isn't working.
If you love something it's supposed to be forever right?
Well, if you're one of my regular readers, then you know better by now.
Gamer Growth<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxMjc5NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODY1MjUyNn0.LCdZuF69tUjDp_EeoDirNlRMO9TMBqf5vFxb11aQv4o/img.gif?width=980" id="bcc64" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ca5c03e094bc984bbd3359126d4ee6ad" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="459" data-height="620" />Video Games 80S GIFGiphy<p>Video games. </p><p>For most of the first 25 years of my life I loved games. And then one day I sort of just said "why?" </p><p>And have really touched any in the last 7 years and haven't had much of a desire to. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4tcpn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thesheep_1</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4tcpn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>As much as I enjoy video games...I find as I get older...I have less time for it. Other priorities take place and before I know it...not much free time.</p><p>It also doesn't help that gaming companies that I grew up with...are now corporate asshats and not the 'revolutionary' icons they once were (looking at you Blizzard)...the constant 'made for multiplayer online'...f*ck that shit. (looking at you Rockstar).</p>
7 or 8 Other Things<p>Playing guitar. </p><p>I've played for 20 years and for the first roughly 13 years I could sit and play pretty much all day every day. When I went back to college and started taking my education seriously I started losing interest. </p><p>I still pick it up and play but I haven't written any new music in well over a year and most of the time there are like 7 or 8 other things I prefer doing instead.</p><p> There were certain people that I collaborated with a lot and some of them still play music and some of them don't but I moved far away enough from them that collaboration wasn't as easy. They were all people I knew in Orange County, CA but then I moved to Los Angeles after college and now I live in Idaho. </p><p>There is this one guy in particular that I used to play music with the most. Him and I always kind of understood each others' visions for a piece of music pretty well and just generally really understood how the other approached writing music. </p><p>He still writes and records all of the time and he's considering moving out here. If he does I wouldn't be surprised if that ends up being the push to get me really into playing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4dqtg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tim_to_tourach</a></p>
Doodle Depression<p>Drawing. I loved to doodle and try and draw whatever popped into my head. Even tried learning new styles to try out but eventually that feeling just slowly died. Drew a few things from a tutorial video a few months back, but that's about it. Pretty depressing honestly.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4toaj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">staying_golden1</a></p><p>I used to love drawing and painting too, and aced AP art...but now I look at a blank piece of paper and have zero inspiration. It's sad.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56g4c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">5leeplessinvancouver</a></p>
Happier As A Hobby<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxMzAyNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NTkyODk4MX0.NqAZGKUzeyNvYYFqY5h32ZwX6G8_nCpvrUqassfwhN0/img.gif?width=980" id="14cae" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e2689d2cc698153626ad28e3b2c491c9" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="400" />Nervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+Giphy<p>Sewing. </p><p>Loved it as a teen. Made my own grad dress, won an award and a scholarship for my skills. Tried it as a job and it just killed any and all desire for it. </p><p>It stopped being fun. It stopped being a creative outlet for me. </p><p>It's really sad, cuz I had skills. I've tried to pick it back up in recent years, but I just can't seem to care like I did back then.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4vl5q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">alabardios</a></p><p>Same with knitting for me, which I picked it up as a hobby. Parents realized that I could make useful stuff and tried to push me into selling it. I <em>never</em> want to turn this hobby into a job; it would kill off all the benefits of being a relaxing way to pass the time.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4z7dt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ladyoffate13</a></p><p>Are you me? Working in the fashion industry is such a goddamn soul suck. I'll probably never go back. I hoped to get my creative inspo back after a sabbatical but it's been almost 4 years since I quit my job and I've barely touched my sewing machine (except to make a handful of masks for a few close friends and family last year). </p><p>I hate when people find out I sew and ask me if I can make them something...</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5hylq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
Reading Used To Be FUNdamental<p>I was an avid reader since kindergarden up till uni. After that life just got in the way and I never picked up any books for the past 10 years....?</p><p>Still reads to my kids tho. Just, I don't have the energy to read mine.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5cls6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shfaeman</a></p><p>As child, schoolboy, and student I used to absolutely devour books. I always had one in my pocket or bag.</p><p>From Dumas to Dickens I lived in those pages and had travels, adventure, and experiences that still remain clear and potent for me all this time later. When the demands of later adult life made this impossible I felt the loss keenly.</p><p>I found that an Audible account was the solution, I can fit books into the interstices of my day, and a good unabridged reading doesn't leave you feeling dissatisfied.</p><p>It'll never be the same as the the intense personal connection I had with books from my days as a true reader. But it suffices for these years until I can again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5eqai?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DrNecessiter</a></p>
Like Prostitution<p>Writing. I always thought it'd be a passion I'd have for life, but in the past year or two everything I've tried to write has been sh!t. </p><p>Slowly I've stopped even trying.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4oxed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Without_Mystery</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4oxed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money. " -- Molière </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp555at?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tamsui_tosspot</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp555at?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I have been writing since I was seven, got a BA in English, and thought for sure I'd be a famous writer someday. </p><p>I very gradually wrote less and less over the years and now I am almost fifty and can barely muster inspiration to to churn out so much as a short poem. Looking back I tend to wonder if it was passion or if it just happened to be something I was good at that earned me praise and that validation is what fueled my motivation. </p><p>Now I don't care what people think of me so much so I just watch Netflix instead.😃</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp64j3t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AmyKeeBee</a></p>
All Of The Above<p>Everything here. </p><p>Playing guitar, writing, video games, I guess I just lost it all. </p><p>I'm not in my teens anymore when everything was so deep. I'm just going through the motions of life as a mid 30 year old. Working, and going home and repeat. </p><p>The friends have narrowed down to about 1, the job is tolerable at best. I'm drunk now so that's why I'm spilling. I can't find something that gives me that spark but I'm hopeful for the future.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56130?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Omegawolf83</a></p><p>Dude aside from the drunk part and hopeful about the future. Are you me?!??!?!😲</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56130?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Like for real, I lost interest in writing first, then gaming, have one good friend, work then home, mid 30's... duuuude. And to be honest, losing interest in so much stuff, has had me question if I'm secretly depressed, and just don't know it or what?</p><p><span></span>-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp691ww?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> LurkingAintEasy</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp691ww?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>It's been years since I legitimately looked forward to anything or enjoyed something for any decent period of time.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5224v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Linchey1</a></p>
Hostile Hostels<p>Staying in hostels. </p><p>I still love travelling and meeting people, but I just can't do the hostel life anymore. I'd much rather have a nice, private bedroom and my own bathroom.</p><p>Part of me still dreams about just saving up some money and doing it all over again, but I know I'd be switching to hotels in about 2 days lol</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp50yh4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ObjectivePassenger9</a></p><p>This. I loved it when I was 22 and could meet people and hang out with them, It was a great way to meet interesting people, make fun memories, and see a new city. </p><p>But now? F*ck no. </p><p>If I stay in a hostel now, I have to have a private room and bathroom because I am not f*cking around with other people.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56w24?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FreddieGregg</a></p>
SCUBA Men<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxMzUxMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MDIxMTU0Mn0.zSPRheHDiYwiAdCk9Edsfg8Q_pmmwoJaWuQdBX053wg/img.gif?width=980" id="ac33d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6b3ab59b62d0c3646b51e77406dc76c1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="470" data-height="264" />Under Water Swimming GIF by Outside TVGiphy<p>I fell out of love with SCUBA.</p><p><span>Firstly I live in England so the waters are somewhat different to the Red Sea. </span></p><p><span>But when I did do SCUBA, either in England or abroad, I realized a large part of SCUBA is spending time on boats with middle aged men with marital problems who still, <span>nonetheless</span>, need to keep reminding me that they are better than me. </span></p><p><span>Hence the marital problems, I'm sure.</span></p><p>I always thought it should be an easier and more pleasant experience.</p><p>I'm a casual, by the way. I really don't have the inclination to get up early on a Sunday and look at 4 non-descript fish in the English Channel (which I've done, by the way.) </p><p>Plus I'm not very good at bragging so this excludes me from 95% of on boat conversations.</p><p><span></span><span>I would, however, like to rock up to Jordan or the <span style="font-size: 14px;">Caribbean</span> and just say "Look I'm here for a week or so. Lets do 5 dives but I <span style="font-size: 14px;">haven't</span> done it for a while, so can we spend some time on the first dive working on my bouyancy?" </span></p><p><span>I've tried this a couple of times only to get to the dive shop to find out its being run by an English couple. And if there's one thing worse than a middle aged man with marital problems, its an expat middle aged man with marital problems.</span></p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5c2xf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">random_username_94 </a></p>
Burgers, fries, peanut butter. Apple pie, hot dogs, cheesesteaks. American food is a big part of our daily lives, but it's not normal for everybody around the globe.
When was the first time you tried sushi? Or the first time you had curry? Have you even been able to try escargot? The world is full of so many fascinating foods, and some of those foods are American--especially to non-Americans.
A Little South In Your Mouth<p>Proper Jambalaya from Louisiana</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Heiminator/" target="_blank">Heiminator</a></p><p>Gumbo, jambalaya, and a real authentic muffaletta should be your top three. A GOOD shrimp po boy is a good one to add to the list as well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DocHoss/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">DocHoss</a></p>
The List Goes On And On<p>I really want to have some American pancakes with the bacon and maple syrup! I just recently discovered iHop is a pancake restaurant!!!! A restaurant......for pancakes?!!</p><p>Oh and a hotdog from New York street vendor with "everything".....whatever everything is and then a pretzel for later.</p><p>Some runners up that I'd like to try: twinkies, egg nog, Mac and cheese, a full thanksgiving dinner experience, key lime pie, pumpkin pie, Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Mountain Dew</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/surebegrandlike/" target="_blank">surebegrandlike</a></p>
A Nommy Dessert<p>Pumpkin pie. I don't think I'd like it, but I'd like to try it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Gooner1798/" target="_blank">Gooner1798</a></p><p>It's my favorite pie! It has a pretty great flavor, just sweet enough with a nice soft texture. You absolutely have to put a dollop of whipped cream on top before eating though.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/abe_the_babe_/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">abe_the_babe_</a></p>
Variations On A Theme<p>A Philly cheesesteak.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FairyBread10/" target="_blank">FairyBread10</a></p><p>Trust me, they are NOT all made alike</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Maximum-Recover625/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Maximum-Recover625</a></p><p>Word. As someone who lives in Philly, it's amazing to see what ends up being considered a "Philly Cheesesteak" on menus around the country lol. Even here in Philly we gatekeep what a legit cheesesteak is lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MikeyMortadella/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MikeyMortadella</a></p>
A Smoky Lil Treat<p>Texas BBQ</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/gurren975/" target="_blank">gurren975</a></p><p>Smoked brisket is insanely good when done well. I've just started smoking my own during covid (because why not?) and it is so yummy! Brisket Mac n Cheese was seriously unhealthy but phenomenal..</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Punkinsmom/" target="_blank">Punkinsmom</a></p>
Uniquely Artery Clogging<p>Corndogs. I have never seen it in my country. I never got the chance to eat it when I was in the USA. So I really would like to try it. </p><p>Specially since I saw an episode of GMM where Rhett talks about how much he loves corndogs.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/badthoughts87/" target="_blank">badthoughts87</a></p>
Combo Plate<p>One of those whole hog bbq pulled pork and slaw burgers</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SmashYaGash/" target="_blank">SmashYaGash</a></p><p>Yeah, that's definitely an eastern North Carolina meal.</p><p>Western NC does smoked pork shoulders (or Boston butts as some call them). Eastern NC is where the whole hog comes from - historically speaking, it's the oldest style of regional barbecue in the country, beating out the colonization of Texas by almost a century.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/LongPorkJones/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LongPorkJones</a></p>
They're After Me American Cereals<p>I was literally Googling American sugary cereals last night, making my mouth water. </p><p>All these amazing things my husband and I would love to try - Reese's Puffs, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch... What are they?! Must.... Taste.....!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ArtNorvelle/" target="_blank">ArtNorvelle</a></p>
Expanding On Fritos<p>I had Fritos once. OMG we have no equivalent. I don't know if they are illegal here or what but I could sense instant attraction pure nommynom.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/qarrmeh/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">qarrmeh</a></p><p>Three words: Frito. Chili. Pie. It's just three basic ingredients: Bag of Fritos corn chips, a can of Hormel chili (or equivalent of homemade chili, which is better), and shredded cheddar cheese. Mix, bake at 350ºF for like 20 minutes or until everything is hot and the cheese has melted, serve. Top with salsa if you'd like.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PatrickRsGhost/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">PatrickRsGhost</a></p>
Corn In A New Way<p>Grits.</p><p>I've heard it mentioned in movies for years, and I've always wanted to try it.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Fred_Perry/" target="_blank">Fred_Perry</a></p><p>Be aware that there are two distinct factions of grits:</p><p>Grits with butter, pepper, salt, and maybe cheese.</p><p>Grits with butter, brown sugar, and maybe honey or syrup.</p><p>If you go into it expecting one, but get the other, you'll be surprised. People will fight over which is better or 'the right way', despite the fact that they're both delicious. Personally, I mix it up, with butter, pepper, sugar, and honey. That way I'm always an outcast, but at least I have good food.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MedusasSexyLegHair/" target="_blank">MedusasSexyLegHair</a></p>
Unfortunately, it's no secret that people are becoming the victims of human trafficking all around us.
Every country, city, town, and region can be the site of abduction, where a vulnerable person is groomed to be free labor or the victim of predatory sex
Missing Things<p>"I had a loved one pulled into the sex trafficking industry as an adult. So, I can offer a couple pointers for spotting adults who are being sold as sex workers."</p><ol><li>"Missing shoes. It's hard to run away in a city barefoot. Blisters are a dead giveaway."</li><li>"Not carrying a cell phone, identification, or the purse or wallet to put it in. Their pimp likes to hold these hostage to prohibit contact with the outside world and to make it difficult to purchase long distance transportation."</li></ol><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gomxb1t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LoneQuietus81</a></p>
Trust Yourself<p>"I worked as front desk for a hotel, had a couple of experiences with this."</p><p>"Look for groups of 2-3 where one person does all of the talking, specifically when the other(s) look scared, are overly covered, cringe when the talker is speaking, or look under the influence of something."</p><p>"Ensure you get ID from all parties when you suspect something is going on, note down their room number and names given, trust your gut, what we call a 'gut feeling' is a combination of millions of tiny factors you might not knowingly be aware of, tiny details like hitched breathing, microexpressions, specific lying tells, environmental factors, etc."</p><p>"These all add up and let your subconscious mind make connections that your general mind might not. Trust that feeling if you suspect something is wrong, and contact the police to inform them of a suspected human trafficking issue."</p><p>"Both times my gut told me to call it in I ended up regrettably being correct."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gommblj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tsavong117</a></p>
Memorized Lines<p>"Where I live, human trafficking is a big problem and there was a huge bust at a hotel not too long ago."</p><p>"Usually hotels, motels, and airlines are trained to look out for signs of trafficking. Red flags include those who are very scared or nervous around specific people or talk like their following a script."</p><p>"Those who are targeted usually come from broken homes or poor countries with the promise of a better life or how all of their problems can be solved by doing X. It can also include being showered with expensive or luxury gifts as a start of the luring in process."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gom77wi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kevin-W</a></p>
Prevention<p>"Here in Spain we get a lot of women from eastern Europe and sub saharan Africa, some pay for their trip to europe this way, some are blackmailed and some are lured offers of jobs like cleaning, or low level administrative jobs (secretaries, paper pushing) and end up on in a roadside brothel."</p><p>"If you´re a young woman in a poor area of eastern europe and you get a offer for a easy job in germany, france, spain or the netherlands. be VERY suspicious."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/golqok8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aevum1</a></p>
Litmus Test<p>"My sociology professor told us if we ever see a child at a motel/hotel , make sure to say hi to them , and you can pretty well judge by their reaction if they're safe or not"</p><p>"also it's a bit harder to do as a man"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gom5b4a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ok_Act_1214</a></p>
The Thine Line Between Slavery and Labor<p>"Most of human trafficking is not the movie kind. It's more the kind where an ethnic restaurant brings over a cook from their home country and they have to work unreasonable hours to pay back for the trip."</p><p>"Or maybe it's a maid or a construction worker who works below minimum wage and can't have their passport back."</p><p>"So look for people who work long hours at sub-legal wages."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/golbrvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Pontus_Pilates</a></p>
Nifty, and Significant<p>"There's an app you can download called TraffickCam."</p><p>"Any time you stay at a hotel, upload photos of your room. Those photos are incorporated into an artificial intelligence algorithm that helps identify locations of trafficking victims via background details."</p><p><span></span>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gomc6g8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">m31td0wn</a></p>
The rule of thumb when eating fast food is very simple: put on the blinders, enjoy the meal, and try not to do it too often.
But what if you work in the kitchen?
In that case, there's simply no escaping a complete understanding of the several horrors that each assembled burger or french fry encounters on its way to that front counter.