Murphy's Law - anything that can go wrong will go wrong - hits some people really hard, and without mercy. Unfortunate series of events plague all of us from time to time. Why must the Universe screw with us like this?
Sonalator asked: What's your "It cannot possibly get worse" moment, that actually got worse?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
10. When all goes wrong, it feels good to be right.
Years ago, I was having a long stint of bad luck...
My car broke down, and I had no car. This was pre-Uber days and the taxis used to charge astronomical amounts because... what other choice do you have? One night I paid $50 just to get to the next town for work, it was over half my pay for the night.
Fate made it so when I tried to buy a car something went wrong, when I tried to rent a car something went wrong as well.
One day I was taking a taxi back home after unsuccessfully trying to purchase a car, and I was talking to the taxi driver about my sh*t luck (who was basically my therapist for the ride). He was very encouraging and optimistic.
I thought my luck couldn't get worse then...
The taxi he was driving broke down.
Surprisingly, I wasn't angry at all. I was actually a bit relieved that he got to see how cursed I was and that I wasn't exaggerating.
I remember excitedly exclaiming:
"You see what I mean?! You see?!"
As the car died on the road.
I feel bad for laughing but the image is too funny. Did your luck eventually turn around or are you sitting in a stalled uber typing this?
Haha, laugh away, it's one of those things funny in hindsight!
This was 2012, I'm in a much better place now. My wife and I have 2 cars between us, and I have a much better job where if I can't make it in that day, I can simply call out on short notice and it isn't the end of the world (my old job was the total opposite, I couldn't call out unless I was d̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ dead).
It goes to show rough patches don't last forever, even when there seems to be no end in sight. :)
9. Double whammy.
When I was 14 I was hit by a car that made a turn on red while I was using the crosswalk on a bike.
I broke three ribs, my right femur, and my collarbone. I remember kind of being in shock at my injuries, my leg not working right, laying on the ground, the driver is freaking out, people are stopping to gawk. I figured help was on the way and that it was all uphill from there, someone was going to take care of me. It couldn't possibly get worse.
Except this was in Arizona in August and the road was so f*cking hot it was burning my skin, and I remember vaguely that it was like laying on hot coals. Everyone was freaking out around me and I was trying to tell them to move me but they thought I wanted to try and get up which is dangerous if your back is broken, so they basically held me down. I was being seared alive. It was the worst feeling ever. I ended up passing out I think because I don't remember much between that and the hospital, but I ended up with sunburn-like burns on my skin where it was touching the asphalt.
8. The last thing was the worst part.
Coming home from Germany, had to make an emergency landing in Iceland. There were several delays in getting us a better plane, and we eventually ended up spending the night at the airport.
When we finally got to New York, we couldn't go through customs because the system was down.
And then a couple babies woke up and started crying.
The crying babies always do you in...
I once got stuck on a flight with crying baby, a seat kicker, and a f*cking Karen behind me. I'm never flying again.
7. When you should have just stayed home that day.
Had a sh*tty work day, normal stress I guess.
But kids and wife were at something like a Chucky Cheese to celebrate something, and I was supposed to be there. Left work way late and got stuck in traffic trying to get there, it took 2 hours instead of the expected 20 min and I missed basically the entire thing.
So to that point just a sh*tty day. It happened to be near where my parents lived though, decided not to make it a total loss so drove down to their house.
Got rear-ended while sitting at an intersection and almost died. My car was a total loss and I was pushed into oncoming traffic and through some miracle I was not hit by any of it.
Driving home in the rental car, a few hours later, I got pulled over for speeding. The cop was nice and let me off though when I told him what happened.
6. When it all goes horribly wrong.
A few years ago I was sharing a unit with a girl who had bipolar and was prone to outbursts. I had just came back from an overseas holiday to see my room completely trashed. The girl had broken into my room for what ever reason and had opened all my drawers. When I asked what happened she proceeded to grab a knife from the kitchen and tried to stab me. After I ran to the neighbours house and called the police I was escorted to my boyfriends house while they put a psychiatric hold on my roommate. When I arrived he proceeded to break up with me and asked me to leave. So yeah that f*cking sucked.
5. Not everything has a bad ending...
My dad sent me to Wushu school (these full time martial arts/stunt schools in China) to be a stuntman like him. I was more interested in competition and trained for Sanda kickboxing since my teens. For 4 years I fought for two major teams in China, but got my butt handed to me at the 2007 Wushu World Championship.
This was the closest I had ever gotten to a gold medal and was my best year so far. The doctors hospitalized me for a month and told my coach I couldn't train for two more.
They knew I'd be out of practice when I came back, so my 2008 contract cut my pay by 25% (most fighters in China are salaried and not paid per promotion).
A month after I started training again, my left leg started killing me. A doctor told me I'd torn my ACL in the last fight and that, since healthcare in China sucks, my earlier doctor didn't even bother to tell me or didn't notice. My career was basically over and if I kept kickboxing I wouldn't be able to walk in a year.
I didn't tell my coach, but he found out by asking someone at the hospital and terminated my contract the next day. I asked for my annual pay guaranteed to me and he told me to sue him, which I knew I couldn't afford. Our team was also in bed with the local government and supported (probably owned) by the Beijing party secretary, so my chances were exactly zero.
I tried finding a private sector job, but everyone knew my educational credentials were a joke. Pro athletes in China are given degrees by "sports universities" that basically are a sham. For a couple weeks I sat around and blew through savings before realizing I had to learn a foreign language and emigrate if I ever wanted a shot at life.
SO WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE YOU NOW!?
I found out foreign universities had no idea about the Sports University sham in China so I studied for GRE, learned basic English, and managed to get accepted to a masters program in the US. I needed to come up with the money to pay for all of this so I did sales jobs part time while I racked up debt. Once my English improved it turned out I was actually pretty good at it, good enough to go into payroll then software sales instead of using my degree. I briefly went back to China to run Chinese sales operations for my company, which was a disaster, but I used the experience to secure my first VP role. I've been AVP/SVP/EVP Sales for companies of increasing size for the past 3 years. I have US citizenship now and my wife and I are expecting our first kid in 3 months.
4. Earned time off is a beautiful thing.
Had just graduated college and was doing laundry in my new apartment one evening... washing all my brand new khakis for work.
All of the sudden I hear water running, and see a flood of water coming from the laundry room. The drain hose from the washer hadn't been properly secured and popped loose, draining the washer's water all over the floor! I grabbed every towel, blanket, sweatshirt I had and was frantically trying to sop up the water. I had to keep running to the tub to wring them out, throw them in the dryer to try and keep up with all the water before it began to drip into the apartment below.
I spent like 3 hours doing this and was exhausted as hell. I finally remember about the khakis I need to transfer to the dryer, and they're all streaked with black! I had left my brand new graduation gift Coach wallet in one of the pairs of pants and the dye had bled all over all of my brand new work pants.
So I had to figure out how to better secure the washer drain hose and re-wash the pants, hoping the dye would come out (thankfully it did!). I then had to wait up so I could get them into the dryer so I had pants to wear to work the next day.
And I had to figure out what to do with my waterlogged, brand new expensive wallet! It was soaked through, so I had to pull out all the cards, ID, etc. and then try to blot it dry best I could without ruining it. I eventually took it to a coach store where they rubbed it with conditioning lotion to keep it from cracking.
So after all the flood cleanup and laundry, I finally got to bed at like 2am. When I wake up, it's after 11am! I am supposed to be at work at 9am, and it's now almost lunch time! My alarm clock was blinking, meaning that the power had gone off at some point overnight and de-activated the alarm. With all the stress and activity the night before, I soundly slept well beyond when I was supposed to get up. So I had to call my manager of a job I'd been full time at for all of 2 weeks, and explain where I was and how I'd be in 3+ hours late. Fortunately, I had been an intern there and part time my senior year, so I did have a year track record with the company under my belt. But that wasn't how I imagined using my first ever PTO hours earned.
3. Totally trucked up.
I broke the back window on my truck closing it too hard. Well sh*t, that's going to cost me. On my way to see if I could get lucky and score a cheap replacement from a junkyard, the water pump starts spraying coolant everywhere. Ok, well at least I'm already at the junkyard. They're cool enough to let me leave my truck there and walk to an autoparts store for new gaskets. I come back and fix the water pump. No window there, but I did buy a lightly used pump. I'm on my way home, all angry and pissed off, when the transmission on my truck explodes and takes out the driveshaft and differential with it. Probably the 3rd worst 24 hours of my life.
3rd?! what's the first two?
The day I had to put down my dog is number one. Number 2 is the day the company I worked for got sold and I was told that if I wanted to keep my job I had to take a 30% pay cut.
2. As bad as it gets.
Had serious back pains and thought I would have to have back surgery. Got an MRI done. Nope I had stage IV cancer. Definitely not the news I expected to hear. A year of treatment later and I'm in remission.
In the CT scan prior to my appendicitis surgery they found my cancer had returned to my liver.
Glad you're ok.
I mean will be okish too. Just glad you are too.
1. *"Curb Your Enthusiasm" music plays*
I was at work and get a phone call from the police. They say there is about to be a warrant out for my arrest for an unpaid parking ticket. I tell them I paid it and sent the payment in certified mail. They tell me to bring my proof to the court house. I drive an hour through traffic, park and go inside and wait. Another hour goes by and I finally get to speak with someone and the whole thing is fixed. I walk outside to my car and see that while I was in the courthouse I got another parking ticket.