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People Break Down Which Things Can Ruin Sex In A Marriage

Reddit user Acrobatic_Month_1563 asked: 'What ruins sex life in a marriage?'

We know that not all relationships are destined to last forever.

What might begin as an endearing quality becomes annoying, or what starts off feeling like a minor inconvenience might grow to be a serious dealbreaker with time.

Changes like this can end a relationship, and they can do serious damage to the relationship along the way, like to the couple's communication skills, quality time together, and even their sex life.

Redditor Acrobatic_Month_1563 asked:

"What ruins sex life in a marriage?"

The Final Straw

"10,000 little unaddressed disappointments, which drain communication, which fosters negative assumptions, which breeds coldness, which turns to resentment."

"The sex obviously becomes ungood."

- NotSadNotHappyEither

Communication Is Key

"As someone who separated from his wife four.... days ago, communication is a big part of it."

"Communicate clearly that something is wrong, and work to improve little things. Learn about love languages and how to speak your partner's language. I would speak my own to her and she wasn't receptive because she wanted something else."

"Be self-aware so you know when something is bothering you, and tell them right away, don't wait until it's a big deal. Don't be defensive, be open to listening to everything. There's a ton of healthy relationship advice out there but it takes effort."

- crispyconcerto

"Communicating when things are wrong is very important, but it's also a balancing act. There is such thing as communicating too many problems, too often."

"For example, my wife was very very good at pointing out things about me that bothered her. Which is a good thing, normally. But she did it so much, about even the simplest little petty things, that it really made me feel like there was nothing about me or anything I did that was 'right' to her."

"And it also caused me to never point out anything about her that upset me because I didn't want to make her feel the way she was making me feel. So it was just all-around bad: too much communication from her, too little from me."

"And not everything always needs to be a serious, sit-down, heart-to-heart conversation, like, 'Okay honey, I understand now that I didn't center the salt shaker in the middle of the table the way you like it, I'll do it better next time, but do you really need to pull me into the other room and sit me down and have a 25-minute conversation about it, every time?'"

"I think the sweet spot is really somewhere in the middle."

- Asleep_Onion

Stress Goes Both Ways

"Stress. Kids, work, finances, or any other kind of stress. Kiss your libido goodbye until you figure out how to deal with it."

- OrangeMarmalade

"For some people, sex is how they release their stress. For others, they can't have sex if they're feeling stressed. Figure out which you and your partner are."

- JustTheTipAgain

The Nuances of Intimacy

"Not focusing on the intimacy and emotional safety outside the bedroom. The actual act of sex is the shortest part of the sexual process in my case."

- TacoTacoMi

"I've heard it said, 'Foreplay is constant.' Flirting is foreplay, being civil and polite with waitstaff is foreplay, eye contact and reflective listening are foreplay, getting the door is foreplay, bringing a big umbrella on a rainy day date is foreplay, walking them to their car is foreplay, and texting goodnight is foreplay."

"Foreplay begins the moment you begin communicating, so do it wisely and with good intention."

- Crom_Committee

No Emotional Investment

"I will never understand how people can end up with someone they just... don't care about. You don't need to know every single like and dislike, but damn. "What comfort foods my wife likes" should be an easy win."

- Luminaria19

"Dude, I literally overheard this conversation at the grocery store today that makes me wonder how people like this can get married. Let's call them Bill and Dave."

"Bill - What chips are you gonna get?"

"Dave - Uhhh, tostitos with dip."

"Bill - Okay, do your kids like those, though?"

"Dave - I don't know, probably."

"Bill - Well, maybe get them something that they like."

"Dave - Yeah, I'm getting Cheetos, too."

"Bill - Do your kids like those?"

"Dave - Probably, they're Cheetos. I'm sure they like them."

"Then, at the checkout line..."

"Dave - Gotta get some chocolate, it is shark week after all.' Then he proceeds to seemingly pick three chocolate bars at random."

"Bill - Yo, that bar is heavy on the toffee flavor. It's a unique preference, does your wife like toffee?"

"Dave - I don't know, the other two have peanut butter, though."

"Bill - Does she like peanut butter?"

"Dave - Sure, I mean, who doesn't? She likes it once a month at least.' And chuckles."

"Bill has the look on his face like he did the biggest facepalm ever."

"And here I am having online dates cancel on me the day of..."

- TacoTaconomio

Neglected Needs

"If you or your parent neglect each other's needs and fail to communicate, then it becomes a cycle. The time set aside for sex turns into arguments or relationship maintenance and sex falls by the wayside."

"Kids, marriage, getting fat, and not taking care of yourself don’t actively kill the relationship, but they don’t help, but once you stop putting in the effort to please your partner, things stagger on and begin to die."

- KeyStoneLighter

Mental Health Concerns


- SilionOwl

"This is my first thought. We still had an active sex life throughout our kids' childhood. Grief and depression killed our libido. Mine is coming back, but hers isn't. And I don't function unless I feel wanted."

- CountDown60

Relationship Over in One Word


- lowercaseb86

"A lot of my hetero couple friends have divorced because the guy didn't do housework or childcare. That really builds up the resentment and sex suffers."

- raisinghellwithtrees

Taking Advantage of a Good Routine

"Routine. Unfortunately routine keeps you healthy and mentally focused."

- GiverTakerMaker

"We always have sex in the afternoon on Sunday. Yes, it is a routine but because we both know the routine, we both know not to let people come over or schedule things during that window of time. That's our time. H**l, even our little dog knows to leave us alone then."

- urgent45

When the Chase Ends

"Too many people stop romancing and dating their partners once they get married. Passionless sex is boring and mechanical."

"They say, 'My partner never wants sex anymore.' Well, when's the last time you did anything to help them feel excited about you?"

- v3sk

"I mentioned that to my husband about two and a half years after we married."

"He literally told me, 'I don't have to do that anymore. I married you.'"

"Then there was the excuse of no time and no money. I fixed those problems."

"Then it was, 'I'm too busy. I need to start a business.' So it never happened."

"Over time, my sex drive dwindled, and my resentment grew. Then he was angry about it. That killed it faster."

"Years went by of once-a-week sex, and he was resentful. I was resentful."

"I wanted to fix this. According to him, the whole entire problem was the lack of sex. That will fix everything."

"So you know what I did? I had sex every single day for two months straight. Then we got into an unrelated argument, and he said he never had enough sex during our marriage, and if we both just 'take care of our responsibilities,' everything would be fine."

"So uhm... I guess add entitlement to that."

- Tough_Music4296

Other Obligations

"Kids and work. The whole bedtime routine isn’t exactly a sex-driver, and when they’re asleep, it’s more tempting to just relax after a long day, before falling asleep yourself."

"To get any sex going here, we need to plan for it, and spice things up with lingerie."

- DrAquaSquid

Not That Kind of Roleplay

​"Treating your wife like your mother (or a rival sibling) and then expecting them to be attracted to you when you're horny."

- imightbeyourmomma

"Everyone is saying 'the same routine,' but no one is mentioning how absolutely unappealing in every way it is for a man to treat you like you’re his mother/caretaker."

- hec_ramsey

"It should be mentioned more. Though, for the people who read this and decide to get their act together just for sex, don’t bother."

"It isn’t hot either when you know the adult you live with is only putting the dishes in the dishwasher to get sex, rather than respecting the life you are building together."

- nothing_is_perfekt

Chronic Pain

"Constant joint pain. Nothing kills the mood more than getting interested and then having shooting pain in the shoulder or knees."

"Sucks getting old."

- DistinctRole1877

Not Enough Variety

"Not trying new things, years of the same thing can end up with the mind (and some other things) wandering. Not saying it has to be frequent, but occasionally mixing it up is good."

- MonkeyDDeclan

Weak Promises Aren't Sexy

​"When they no longer are a person of their word. Few people mention how damaging things like that are to attraction."

"To elaborate a slight bit, my mind was talking more about when someone stops following their dreams, gets complacent, says they'll do better for themselves, AND DOES NOT because they don't take themselves seriously."

- just-going-with-it

"Yes, it was bad enough that he did not value his word, but totally broke my heart when he had the same approach with the kids too. If you don't mean it, don't say it. Worse, don't promise it."

- Experiments-Lady

As fun as relationships are meant to be, they are a lot of work, as well, and require not only continuous commitment to their partner but to keeping the relationship healthy, as well.

Couples who continue dating each other, respect one another, and adapt their relationship with the times are probably the ones who are going to be the most successful and happily married.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.