You ever come across someone who, even after walking away, leaves you with the most incredulous look on your face? Yeah, we've all been there. Don't get me started analyzing how some people think––we'll be here all day. (Oh, and it's not like we'd get anywhere anyway.)
After Redditor LineAbdomen asked the online community, "What was your 'Is this b*tch serious' moment?" people shared memories of their encounters with people who left them facepalming and rolling their eyes all at once.
"A customer came to pay..."
A customer came to pay for some lessons and I swiped her card upside down so I had to swipe it again. She caused a scene stating I charged her twice. I just sat there with a monotone "I only charged you once" every time she took a second to breathe.
"A woman claimed..."
A woman claimed to have left her money at home while I was working one day after she ordered two sandwiches. They take about ten minutes to cook. I said that's ok, when you come back they will be ready. She said she wanted the sandwiches first and that she'd be right back after she and her daughter ate because they lived right around the corner. I said if you live right around the corner you'll be back before the sandwiches are done, but I can't give you food before you pay. She lost it on me. It was wild she left with no food and didn't come back.
"When I walked into the apartment..."
When I walked into the apartment I shared with a friend, and it was covered in vomit because her dog ate a pillow and had puked it up.
Two days earlier.
The living room was covered in dog puke and she had just sat there in the middle of it. She thought it was funny.
I called a moving company on the spot and arranged for the first appointment they had, and put my stuff in storage while I found a new place.
That was my last roommate.
"20 years ago..."
20 years ago, girl tried to fight me in a bar. All I did was look at her funny. (Unintentionally. I was going to the bar for a round of drinks and forgot the order, happened to be looking at her when I was lost in thought). Anyway, she challenged me outside. I couldn't believe it. I'm 6'1 220 and she was small.
Anyway the bouncer heard her and kicked her out. She was still in the sidewalk an hour later when we left. Followed me to my car pushing me and punching my back.
It was surreal.
"A couple sat down..."
A couple sat down at the movie theater 15 minutes into the movie. The lady sits right beside me and is holding a full conversation at full volume with the man barely acknowledging her.
I politely ask her to lower her voice as it is distracting. She stares forward for 2 minutes before leaning over: "Maybe if you weren't listening to my conversation, you wouldn't be distracted."
I was too livid to even respond and the movie was ruined.
"When we go back inside..."
Had a new boy in the office who had no idea of what personal hygiene consists of. Not a great start. He was loud and obnoxious, not even good at his job. Then one day, at the smoking shelter, he starts talking about catching rabbits in traps. He's pointing to the fields around the building and saying he's going to ask for permission to put traps out there.
We laughed. For all the sh!t he talked, not one of us took him seriously.
When we go back inside he heads straight to the cubicle of our office manager. This cubicle is adorned with pictures of rabbits. Some are her pets, some are just rabbits she thinks are cute. She has statues, rabbit pens and pencils; nobody in their right mind would have asked this woman in this cubicle about going trapping rabbits.
I was surprised he made it to the end of the day. I was not surprised when he didn't return the day after.
"There was a girl in my class..."Giphy
There was a girl in my class who was such an idiot, and she would outwardly disrespect the professor all the time. This one time while the professor was talking she started to whistle. He like stopped class in disbelief and asked her why she was doing it and why she was being disruptive and she said it's a thing she does without even thinking, and then whistled again and was like "See?!"
"When I was a professor..."
When I was a professor, I had someone leave a midterm to go have sex their girlfriend.
He raised his hand about 2 minutes into the exam, said he needed to let his GF into his dorm room, could he leave. It was a series of essays, not a lot you could blatantly cheat on, so I told him "you are an adult, you can do whatever you want, but you only have 75 minutes to take this exam, so use your time wisely". Guy left. Comes back 5 minutes before the end of class. High fives a friend. Scribbles something. Hands it in.
He failed it. I mean, he didn't answer most of the questions. When I handed it back he was SHOCKED. He interrupted my lecture to argue with me, telling me I said he could leave. Yeah, you can leave, but that doesn't mean you automatically pass a test. Then he cried. Like loud, head on the table sobs.
He dropped my class and called me a c*nt. I don't like people.
"My sister's mother-in-law..."
My sister's mother-in-law opened up all her wedding gifts and packed them away while she was on honeymoon! It's been 3 years since but I'm still mad thinking about it!
"A few minutes later..."
Me and my friend, both around 14 at the time, snuck some of my dad's whiskey while my parents were out. We each had a few sips from the bottle, did the obligatory "ahh it burns!" and that was about it. At first.
A few minutes later, my friend starts acting really drunk. He's crashing into walls, falling down, slurring his speech. I'm thinking there's no way this kid is drunk we had like .25 ml of that whiskey. I don't even feel anything except the lingering little burn in my throat. He's gotta be faking it.
He starts dry heaving, smashed a lamp, then went toward the TV like he was going to grab it. I had to literally bearhug him while he fought like he was resisting arrest. He was foaming at the mouth and screaming.
And wouldn't you know it, just like that he "sobered up" and relaxed. So in the span of 5 minutes he got drunk of a sip of whiskey, wrecked my house, fought me like a wild animal, then sobered up.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.