Irreverent People Share The Worst Things To Say During A Driving Test

I took my driving test in a 2002 Ford Excursion. You know what instructors dislike more than short 16-year-olds in oversized SUVs? Backup sensors to help you parallel park. And bumping curbs. But they usually have a good sense of humor. So, aspiring motorists, take notes.

TheAlmightyKrot asked, What's the worst thing to say to your instructor during a driving test?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Isn't America great?

I can't believe they're letting me take this again after what happened last time.

What do you mean I have to "change gears?"

Or like: why are there three pedals when I have two legs!

This is how you put the 'stud' in student.

I asked mine

"So has anybody ever decided to get in a high-speed pursuit with the practice car?"

"Not yet."

Just aim the car.

Instructor: "Remember to practice good defensive driving"

You: "Well, the best defense is a good offense"

*Proceeds to hit everything and everyone in their path

Lasik is rough.

"You're going to have to be my eyes. Still recovering from the surgery."

I CAN'T DRIVE IF YOU'RE WATCHING.

Just start screaming.

Shouldn't have hit that curb...

Occasionally stop and ask "do you hear that?" Then resume before they can answer.

My skills are super clutch.

Bet you didn't know I could also drive...rubs shifter sensually..stick

I had a beer because I'm self-conscious about my driving.

Whoa! That beer is really hitting me!

Well, it IS 2018.

Wow they really let chicks give the test?

1955?

Where we're going we don't need roads.

Does a '97 Cavalier even reach 88 mph?

When this baby hits 88 mph, you're gonna see some serious action.

I call it: "gocaine."

Do you want one of these pills too?

Ya know, just in case.

"What's your blood type?"

I said, nautical, not road.

How many nautical miles to the gallon does this thing get?

KALIMA.

Random satanic mumbling as you accelerate faster and faster...

We're going down. Town.

Yeah we're not going back to the driving school.

But first... lemme take a selfie.

*Pulls out phone* Selfie at the stop sign!

I'm gonna hit 4 stars in no time.

In Grand Theft Auto, my car couldn't last more than 5 minutes

Image by ANURAG1112 from Pixabay

Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay

Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.

But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.

People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,

"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
Keep reading... Show less
Image by Cucu Petronela from Pixabay

I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.

This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"

Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:

What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Keep reading... Show less
Image by Pawel86 from Pixabay

I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.

I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.

But let's compare thoughts...

Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:

What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
Keep reading... Show less