Irreverent People Share The Worst Things To Say During A Driving Test

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I took my driving test in a 2002 Ford Excursion. You know what instructors dislike more than short 16-year-olds in oversized SUVs? Backup sensors to help you parallel park. And bumping curbs. But they usually have a good sense of humor. So, aspiring motorists, take notes.

TheAlmightyKrot asked, What's the worst thing to say to your instructor during a driving test?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Isn't America great?

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I can't believe they're letting me take this again after what happened last time.

What do you mean I have to "change gears?"

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Or like: why are there three pedals when I have two legs!

This is how you put the 'stud' in student.

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I asked mine

"So has anybody ever decided to get in a high-speed pursuit with the practice car?"

"Not yet."

Just aim the car.

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Instructor: "Remember to practice good defensive driving"

You: "Well, the best defense is a good offense"

*Proceeds to hit everything and everyone in their path

Lasik is rough.

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"You're going to have to be my eyes. Still recovering from the surgery."


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Just start screaming.

Shouldn't have hit that curb...

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Occasionally stop and ask "do you hear that?" Then resume before they can answer.

My skills are super clutch.

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Bet you didn't know I could also drive...rubs shifter sensually..stick

I had a beer because I'm self-conscious about my driving.

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Whoa! That beer is really hitting me!

Well, it IS 2018.

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Wow they really let chicks give the test?


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Where we're going we don't need roads.

Does a '97 Cavalier even reach 88 mph?

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When this baby hits 88 mph, you're gonna see some serious action.

I call it: "gocaine."

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Do you want one of these pills too?

Ya know, just in case.

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"What's your blood type?"

I said, nautical, not road.

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How many nautical miles to the gallon does this thing get?


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Random satanic mumbling as you accelerate faster and faster...

We're going down. Town.

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Yeah we're not going back to the driving school.

But first... lemme take a selfie.

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*Pulls out phone* Selfie at the stop sign!

I'm gonna hit 4 stars in no time.

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In Grand Theft Auto, my car couldn't last more than 5 minutes

Brooke Cagle/Unsplash

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