Irreverent People Share The Worst Things To Say During A Driving Test

Irreverent People Share The Worst Things To Say During A Driving Test

[rebelmouse-image 18351719 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I took my driving test in a 2002 Ford Excursion. You know what instructors dislike more than short 16-year-olds in oversized SUVs? Backup sensors to help you parallel park. And bumping curbs. But they usually have a good sense of humor. So, aspiring motorists, take notes.

TheAlmightyKrot asked, What's the worst thing to say to your instructor during a driving test?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Isn't America great?

[rebelmouse-image 18351720 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I can't believe they're letting me take this again after what happened last time.

What do you mean I have to "change gears?"

[rebelmouse-image 18351721 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Or like: why are there three pedals when I have two legs!

This is how you put the 'stud' in student.

[rebelmouse-image 18351722 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I asked mine

"So has anybody ever decided to get in a high-speed pursuit with the practice car?"

"Not yet."

Just aim the car.

[rebelmouse-image 18351723 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Instructor: "Remember to practice good defensive driving"

You: "Well, the best defense is a good offense"

*Proceeds to hit everything and everyone in their path

Lasik is rough.

[rebelmouse-image 18348184 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"You're going to have to be my eyes. Still recovering from the surgery."

I CAN'T DRIVE IF YOU'RE WATCHING.

[rebelmouse-image 18351724 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Just start screaming.

Shouldn't have hit that curb...

[rebelmouse-image 18351725 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Occasionally stop and ask "do you hear that?" Then resume before they can answer.

My skills are super clutch.

[rebelmouse-image 18351726 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Bet you didn't know I could also drive...rubs shifter sensually..stick

I had a beer because I'm self-conscious about my driving.

[rebelmouse-image 18351727 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Whoa! That beer is really hitting me!

Well, it IS 2018.

[rebelmouse-image 18351728 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Wow they really let chicks give the test?

1955?

[rebelmouse-image 18351729 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Where we're going we don't need roads.

Does a '97 Cavalier even reach 88 mph?

[rebelmouse-image 18351730 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

When this baby hits 88 mph, you're gonna see some serious action.

I call it: "gocaine."

[rebelmouse-image 18351731 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Do you want one of these pills too?

Ya know, just in case.

[rebelmouse-image 18351732 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

"What's your blood type?"

I said, nautical, not road.

[rebelmouse-image 18351733 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

How many nautical miles to the gallon does this thing get?

KALIMA.

[rebelmouse-image 18351734 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Random satanic mumbling as you accelerate faster and faster...

We're going down. Town.

[rebelmouse-image 18351735 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Yeah we're not going back to the driving school.

But first... lemme take a selfie.

[rebelmouse-image 18351736 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

*Pulls out phone* Selfie at the stop sign!

I'm gonna hit 4 stars in no time.

[rebelmouse-image 18351737 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

In Grand Theft Auto, my car couldn't last more than 5 minutes

People Share The Subtle Things Someone Does That Lets You Know They're An A**hole
Photo by Joey Nicotra on Unsplash

First impressions can be misleading.

It's not uncommon to meet someone who might come off as cold or standoffish, who turns out to be genuinely kind and innately likable.

Or, on the flip side, meeting someone with an effortlessly charming public demeanor, who might be a little less charming behind closed doors.

But every now and then, there are clues from the moment you meet or first encounter someone which gives a clear idea of their personality.

For better or worse.

Redditor 123backflip was curious to see what signs people saw as immediate evidence that some people might not be the most friendly, by asking:

"What’s something subtle people do that lets you know automatically they’re an a**hole?"
Keep reading... Show less

We're always told to "respect our elders." In truth, many of our elders are wonderful and understanding people. Others are definitely not.

Many young people are very frustrated by older generations. Technology has taken its toll. The job market does not resemble anything that it used to be. The realities of the climate crisis continue to compound. Geopolitical events are raising tensions. Global inequality is at an all-time high.

Given all this, how can young people be expected to bridge the gap between their philosophies and those of people much older than them? People shared their frustrations with us after Redditor baker109123 asked the online community,

"Younger people are Reddit, what are you tired of hearing from older generations?"
Keep reading... Show less
People Share The Dumbest Rules Their Strict Family Enforced
Artyom Kabajev/Unsplash

Growing up, my parents insisted that I take my brother with me everywhere I go. The idea was that he, as a boy, would offer some form of protection.

The reality was that all he did was make my life miserable and create dangerous situations.

Now, this isn't his fault. This is 100% on our family, their built-in patriarchal B.S. (sorry latin people, you know I'm right - we have so far left to go) and their refusal to believe in medicine.

My brother was younger than me (by 5 years, that's a good chunk during childhood) and smaller than me, but because he was a boy he was automatically granted more freedom.

He could go out alone with his friends, I could not. He could date, I could not. He could do things outside of school and church, like martial arts classes. I was only allowed school activities or church activities.

What made the whole thing worse, though, was that his younger age and diagnosed but untreated ADHD meant that not only was he not "protecting" me when they would force him to come as my chaperone - he was creating problems.

Keep reading... Show less
People Confess The Food They Can't Buy Because They'll Eat The Whole Thing In One Sitting
Spencer Davis/Unsplash

I cannot be trusted with chocolate marshmallow cookies.

I don't even like marshmallows, but something happens in my brain when I bite into it and I no longer have an ability to say no. It doesn't even matter what brand - could be Mallomars, or pinwheels, or whatever your local store brand is.

Doesn't matter, just put it in the freezer and walk away. It's best you forget about it, because you'll never see the box again.

Keep reading... Show less