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Irreverent People Share The Worst Things To Say During A Driving Test

I took my driving test in a 2002 Ford Excursion. You know what instructors dislike more than short 16-year-olds in oversized SUVs? Backup sensors to help you parallel park. And bumping curbs. But they usually have a good sense of humor. So, aspiring motorists, take notes.

TheAlmightyKrot asked, What's the worst thing to say to your instructor during a driving test?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Isn't America great?

I can't believe they're letting me take this again after what happened last time.

What do you mean I have to "change gears?"

Or like: why are there three pedals when I have two legs!

This is how you put the 'stud' in student.

I asked mine

"So has anybody ever decided to get in a high-speed pursuit with the practice car?"

"Not yet."

Just aim the car.

Instructor: "Remember to practice good defensive driving"

You: "Well, the best defense is a good offense"

*Proceeds to hit everything and everyone in their path

Lasik is rough.

"You're going to have to be my eyes. Still recovering from the surgery."

I CAN'T DRIVE IF YOU'RE WATCHING.

Just start screaming.

Shouldn't have hit that curb...

Occasionally stop and ask "do you hear that?" Then resume before they can answer.

My skills are super clutch.

Bet you didn't know I could also drive...rubs shifter sensually..stick

I had a beer because I'm self-conscious about my driving.

Whoa! That beer is really hitting me!

Well, it IS 2018.

Wow they really let chicks give the test?

1955?

Where we're going we don't need roads.

Does a '97 Cavalier even reach 88 mph?

When this baby hits 88 mph, you're gonna see some serious action.

I call it: "gocaine."

Do you want one of these pills too?

Ya know, just in case.

"What's your blood type?"

I said, nautical, not road.

How many nautical miles to the gallon does this thing get?

KALIMA.

Random satanic mumbling as you accelerate faster and faster...

We're going down. Town.

Yeah we're not going back to the driving school.

But first... lemme take a selfie.

*Pulls out phone* Selfie at the stop sign!

I'm gonna hit 4 stars in no time.

In Grand Theft Auto, my car couldn't last more than 5 minutes

Priscilla Du Preez/Unsplash

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