Photo by Ahmed Nishaath on Unsplash

Being an introvert makes dating a bit harder than it is for extroverts who meet and get to know new people with ease. That doesn't mean it's impossible, though.

Internet seems to confuse "introvert" with "completely incapable of leaving the house or speaking to another human being" - but that's not the case.

Introverts are more than capable of happy and healthy relationships, conversations, and meeting loads of new folks. One Reddit user, who is struggling because he is too shy to talk to people, asked:

Introverts, how did you meet your girlfriend?

The question was centered around girlfriends because that is the end goal for the person posting, but the responses came from all kinds of people with all kinds of partners.

Long story short, a lot of introverts needed the other person to make the first move. Also, as one person explained it, getting to the girlfriend is actually the last step in a long road of self-confidence building.

There is no guaranteed method, but one guaranteed NOT to work is staying home talking to no one and doing nothing. So get out there (at least in an e-way cause, ya know, pandemic) and have some fun.

Still Oblivious

We worked together. I wasn't really interested at first. She seemed a bit stand offish, but one day she stayed after work and hung out talking to me. I invited her to a 4th of July cookout at a friend's house the next day, as my crush couldn't make it. She said yes and was very touchy-feely with me. I was oblivious still.

One of my friends at the cookout suggested a few of us go see a movie the next day and she said yes. When we went, she sat next to me and kinda snuggled up close. Still oblivious.

After the movie, she hung out with me at my apartment, sat on my lap with her honey my chest, and watched Red vs Blue with me. She was cold and asked me to hold her. She put my hand on her ass! And I was still oblivious.

It wasn't until she left at 2am that I realized "what if she's into me?" I told a close girl friend of mine, and she almost hit me for not asking her out. So I called her up and she said yes. We've been together 7 years now. I was both an introvert and an idiot.

When guys say we don't catch signals, we really don't.

- Son_of_Sothoth

Make The Move

flirty flirting GIF Giphy

Met someone that realized I was too shy to make a move and aggressively flirted with me and hinted all the time.

- fiending247

Need me a freak like that.

- WeAreGesalt

I nearly choked on my drink after reading this, thanks

- Chronofox

All of my girlfriends have been the aggressor in starting the relationships. And not with subtle hints either, basically they have to knock on my skull and say hey we're gonna date now.

- ccx941

My girlfriend is an extrovert she introduced herself and I made an uncomfortable joke about how since she doesn't know me I'm "mr anonymous" We've been together for five years now.

- kronos02413

I threw pistachios at my (now) husband because he was sitting at the bar playing hard to get.

- Amadai

Tired Of Waiting

Through a mutual friend. We've known each other since 2011 and I had a crush on her since day one. We used to cuddle a lot after parties throughout the years but I was too scared to ask her out.

In 2018 I asked said mutual friend if he thought she'd like to go out with me. He just straight up asked her. She said that she would like that but I was still to scared to do anything. She got tired of waiting for me to ask her out and asked me out instead. Turns out she had a crush on me all that time too.

We're engaged now.

- evasivegoat

Just Say 1 Line

Overcame my fear of rejection. Manned the f*ck up and started failing at chatting up girls. Not even chatting up, just talking to random girls. After a while I lost my fear, gained confidence and got a girl.

Getting the "right" girl is actually the last step in building your own confidence. There's so much to do before you get to that point. I would suggest that starting right now, try to make a conversation with every person you interact with.

Just something small and easy. Just say 1 line to the next person you see and build from there.

- Rusky0808

Nice try, extrovert.

- ActualSeth

Literary Porn

reading quotes GIF by Quote Catalog Giphy

No lie my boyfriend is an awkward introvert and we met on a porn site that has a chat feature. It's called Literotica. It's not visual porn, it's pornographic literature.

We now live together (for 2.5yrs) him having moved from Florida to Michigan.

- Ali6952


I'm sure this is a rare one, but Omegle. 6 years ago. I used to use the website a lot, chatting with girls. I met my girlfriend on the site and starting messaging each other a lot, then skyping, it turns out she was planning on going to the same college as I was (lived in the same state). Now we have been living together for 2 years.

- TameAndCashmere

True Self

My close friends and I met up for drinks before a house party, and one of my friends brought their course mate. Usually I have troubling being confident and outgoing around new people, but because I was comfortable with almost everyone there I acted a lot more chill, cracking jokes, doing stupid sh*t, basically my true self.

She told my friend that she thinks I'm good looking and it took me a good 2 hours to come up with the courage to talk to her. Anyway we've been together for almost a year now lol.

- xtaradox

Awkward Jr High Hugs

Aye a thread for me! Okay so me and my girlfriend went to the same junior high. I was 12 and she was 13. Me and her only shared one class together. I also had my best buds in this class, we all sat in the very back and would just BS around and make gorilla noises at each other (I don't know why, we were 12 and it was funny I guess) and she would always turn around and shoot everyone looks.

I developed a crush on her, and since we were both introverts we never really talked and I never conveyed my feelings to her. But when the last couple weeks of school rolled around, I found some courage in myself to start waving at her, and smiling, which would lead to small conversations, which lead to me tapping her on the head when I would come into class, and it wasn't until the very last day of school where she told me that she liked me.

That then lead to a very awkward hug before leaving school, and then another few weeks of awkward Facebook messaging.

Years later (I'm 20 now and she's 21) we now live together and have a beautiful 2 year old daughter, are planning on buying our own home within the next year or so, and to hopefully get out of our home town together. We had our daughter really young so I dropped out, got my GED, and have been working since to support us, so we have been able to afford and save.

I love our story and I thought this was the perfect thread to share it in, hopefully it doesn't get buried, thanks for reading :)

- SmashTheHellboy

Nearby Octagons

Dating app called Whiplr. Joined it, it's laid out like a set of octagonal tiles with the ones nearest the top being nearest to you and as you go down they get further away. Sent a message to this girl that wasn't too far away from me and asked if she'd be up for chatting and once she said ok we had a brief chat.

At the end I asked if she'd be ok with me messaging again and that was ok so we built up our conversations in terms of length and depth and went on a first date about a month later. We've been together almost 4 years now.

- sinanju1994

Therapy Made It Happen

I hope a story of how I met my now husband is ok for this post.

I was going to therapy and was encouraged to go out to events and parties. I met him at a university holiday event and we both volunteered to visit and give doughnuts to kids in the hospital. I pulled myself together and went to every party or hangout I was invited to, whether I wanted to or not. It was part of my therapy.

We got to know each other, got drunk with friends one night and we started to making out. Then we went on a few dates a slowly became serious. Our first dates were pretty easy going since we already knew each other and the dates were more fun than a scary interview.

We just celebrated 2 years of marriage.

- GiveMeTheYums

Ask One Out

I was talking to a friend at work about why none of my chats on tinder seemed to go anywhere and how it was getting me down.

She then reminded me that if I wanted to go on a date with any of the them I'd actually need to ask one out. I tried and it turns out girls will actually say yes to dates quite a lot if you ask. I'm now engaged :)

- zee_glass

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Image by Karen Warfel from Pixabay

If you're looking for your soulmate, it can be hard to really gauge who is truly “the one", especially if they've had back luck in the past. Trust me, it took many attempts to figure my romantic life out before finding my husband. But when you know, you know--and once you do, everything just beautifully falls into place.

Anyone that has found their soulmate usually can pinpoint the moment they had this realization. Here are a few real-life stories.

DeepDarkSiege asked: How did you know you found the one?

Sometimes it’s truly the usually mundane things that lights up your romantic life. In the words of the musical Company, “it’s the little things you do together that make perfect relationships.”

​The true test of any relationship.

When I found myself enjoying the little things - just because I was doing them with her.

Grocery shopping, running errands, just the mundane stuff that makes up every day.


My husband will wander off in the grocery store and then peek around the corner of an aisle at me and say weird stuff like "hey lady" or "looking good" or just nonsensical screeching. Or he will come up and smack my butt and run off. It's so immature but I always crack a smile.


This is so important!

Peanut Butter Animation GIF by Jif Giphy

I realized that if I happened to be doing or experiencing something fun, I always wanted her around to share it with. That, and we argue well and don't hold grudges.


I love the fact that me and my GF resolve arguments like mature adults and we never stay mad at each other.


​You feel like an old shoe.

Everything feels effortless.


This sums it up exactly. So many of my friends and family stay in failing relationships for so long. Everything is fraught with drama and disagreement.

On my 2nd date with my now wife I told her 'You feel like an old shoe.' Comfortable and familiar, easy to get along with, happy to talk with for hours or enjoy hours of silence together. When the fights happen they are brief and uncontentious, and there's no lingering bitterness. Also, she totally understood and accepted the romanticism of being called an Old Shoe.


Chemistry is one of the most important elements of a relationship (accidental pun there).

​There is always hope.

Initial chemistry. I was doing the on-line dating thing, and had been on a dozen+ dates of varying degrees of awkwardness and disaster. I was fed up with it.

I logged onto the dating site to delete my account and embrace the Billy-no-dates life, when this woman gave me a nudge. I was kind of blunt and said I was done with it all, and didn't want to go through another 2 to 3 weeks of on-line chat only to meet up and have nothing to talk about.

I said if she wanted to meet up and name the place fine. If she found that too forward and a red-flag then also fine. She said she'd also experienced similar problems and also wanted to skip straight to the IRL meet.

I am not that chatty. But we met up at about 2pm at a local pub. We were there until kicking-out at 11pm. It flew. I had a sore throat by the end of it.

A few weeks ago we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary.


So sweet.

couples love GIF Giphy

The chemistry between us was unreal, my wife said the first time she met me she had the overwhelming urge to hug me. 18 years later we're still awesome together.

She just always says as soon as she first saw me she knew we were meant to be together. We often read each others minds, I can heal her with my hands when she has pain and the sex even after 3 kids and 18 years together is still like being a pair of teenagers.

She's my best friend, my soul mate and my lover. I would love to be a millionaire then I could just spend every minute of every day with her forevermore. I'm blessed.


Sappy, but sweet.

I can fall asleep when he's cuddled with me. As someone that hasn't had the best relationships, it's the first time I've felt safe enough to just let myself be at rest. The first time I saw him (we were long distance for 6 months), my whole being felt at peace.

Yes it's sappy as heck, but honestly this is the first time feeling this way.


That’s how you know.

Meeting my spouse felt like seeing a loved one after they'd been gone on a long trip. I felt the same way when our child was born. No magical Disney moment, just 'oh, there you are. I've missed you and I'm glad you're back.'


Not to mention the bigger gestures that truly blow you away as their partner.

Thrown into the deep end.​

Introduce Season 2 GIF by The Bold Type Giphy

I am extremely lucky, as my father and I are absolutely best buds. He was diagnosed with cancer and it quickly spread throughout his body. He has been slowly declining over time. I know I found the one when my then-boyfriend (now fiancé) came to meet my parents.

Low and behold they were throwing me a surprise party and he got introduced to 30 family members. He was thrown into the deep end! He was kind and respectful to everyone. But what really took the cake was he sat down and talked to my otherwise very gruff, but long-winded dad. He talked to him for 2 hours, about life, love, my dad's experiences and I saw my dad give a few loud long laughs. It was rare those days.

He's remained close with my father as he nears the end and his constant effort to create memories and bring my dad joy speaks so much about who he is as a person.

We are getting married next week and I couldn't have found a more goofy, kind, loving and respectful man.


What an amazing person.

I knew she was the one when my best friend who was a father figure went to the hospital and his organs were failing. They gave him 2 days to live and it all happened to fast that I called her and said we'd have to cancel our dinner plans with her mom (I was crying on the phone explaining why) all she said was "which hospital" and I told her the location.

I got there before her and held my dads hand. This diamond of a woman comes in with a chimichanga and large Fanta orange soda, no ice (my favorite) she sits right next to me and feeds me as I am holding my dying friend's hand crying hysterically. While he was loaded up on morphine she made a smart ass crack to me and actually made him chuckle. It was a half chuckles but he heard her! I will marry this woman. Mark my words.


A good partner always does this.

Knowing this person passively inspired me to be a better person, try harder in my efforts, and take risks to push myself as well as enjoy my life. I realized they were "the one" when they felt the same way.


As for me, I knew my husband was the one when I realized I never got sick of his company. Usually, I get exhausted being around people, and I need a break. I never have with him--he's just such a delight to be around.

And if you haven't found the one and this article is making you sad, don't lose hope. Everyone's timeline is different, and you never know when you will meet your soulmate. Don't lose hope--it'll come when you least expect it


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