Being an introvert makes dating a bit harder than it is for extroverts who meet and get to know new people with ease. That doesn't mean it's impossible, though.
Internet seems to confuse "introvert" with "completely incapable of leaving the house or speaking to another human being" - but that's not the case.
Introverts are more than capable of happy and healthy relationships, conversations, and meeting loads of new folks. One Reddit user, who is struggling because he is too shy to talk to people, asked:
Introverts, how did you meet your girlfriend?
The question was centered around girlfriends because that is the end goal for the person posting, but the responses came from all kinds of people with all kinds of partners.
Long story short, a lot of introverts needed the other person to make the first move. Also, as one person explained it, getting to the girlfriend is actually the last step in a long road of self-confidence building.
There is no guaranteed method, but one guaranteed NOT to work is staying home talking to no one and doing nothing. So get out there (at least in an e-way cause, ya know, pandemic) and have some fun.
Still Oblivious
We worked together. I wasn't really interested at first. She seemed a bit stand offish, but one day she stayed after work and hung out talking to me. I invited her to a 4th of July cookout at a friend's house the next day, as my crush couldn't make it. She said yes and was very touchy-feely with me. I was oblivious still.
One of my friends at the cookout suggested a few of us go see a movie the next day and she said yes. When we went, she sat next to me and kinda snuggled up close. Still oblivious.
After the movie, she hung out with me at my apartment, sat on my lap with her honey my chest, and watched Red vs Blue with me. She was cold and asked me to hold her. She put my hand on her ass! And I was still oblivious.
It wasn't until she left at 2am that I realized "what if she's into me?" I told a close girl friend of mine, and she almost hit me for not asking her out. So I called her up and she said yes. We've been together 7 years now. I was both an introvert and an idiot.
When guys say we don't catch signals, we really don't.
- Son_of_Sothoth
Make The Move
flirty flirting GIFGiphyMet someone that realized I was too shy to make a move and aggressively flirted with me and hinted all the time.
Need me a freak like that.
I nearly choked on my drink after reading this, thanks
All of my girlfriends have been the aggressor in starting the relationships. And not with subtle hints either, basically they have to knock on my skull and say hey we're gonna date now.
- ccx941
My girlfriend is an extrovert she introduced herself and I made an uncomfortable joke about how since she doesn't know me I'm "mr anonymous" We've been together for five years now.
I threw pistachios at my (now) husband because he was sitting at the bar playing hard to get.
- Amadai
Tired Of Waiting
Through a mutual friend. We've known each other since 2011 and I had a crush on her since day one. We used to cuddle a lot after parties throughout the years but I was too scared to ask her out.
In 2018 I asked said mutual friend if he thought she'd like to go out with me. He just straight up asked her. She said that she would like that but I was still to scared to do anything. She got tired of waiting for me to ask her out and asked me out instead. Turns out she had a crush on me all that time too.
We're engaged now.
Just Say 1 Line
Overcame my fear of rejection. Manned the f*ck up and started failing at chatting up girls. Not even chatting up, just talking to random girls. After a while I lost my fear, gained confidence and got a girl.
Getting the "right" girl is actually the last step in building your own confidence. There's so much to do before you get to that point. I would suggest that starting right now, try to make a conversation with every person you interact with.
Just something small and easy. Just say 1 line to the next person you see and build from there.
Nice try, extrovert.
Literary Porn
reading quotes GIF by Quote CatalogGiphyNo lie my boyfriend is an awkward introvert and we met on a porn site that has a chat feature. It's called Literotica. It's not visual porn, it's pornographic literature.
We now live together (for 2.5yrs) him having moved from Florida to Michigan.
- Ali6952
Omegle
I'm sure this is a rare one, but Omegle. 6 years ago. I used to use the website a lot, chatting with girls. I met my girlfriend on the site and starting messaging each other a lot, then skyping, it turns out she was planning on going to the same college as I was (lived in the same state). Now we have been living together for 2 years.
True Self
My close friends and I met up for drinks before a house party, and one of my friends brought their course mate. Usually I have troubling being confident and outgoing around new people, but because I was comfortable with almost everyone there I acted a lot more chill, cracking jokes, doing stupid sh*t, basically my true self.
She told my friend that she thinks I'm good looking and it took me a good 2 hours to come up with the courage to talk to her. Anyway we've been together for almost a year now lol.
- xtaradox
Awkward Jr High Hugs
Aye a thread for me! Okay so me and my girlfriend went to the same junior high. I was 12 and she was 13. Me and her only shared one class together. I also had my best buds in this class, we all sat in the very back and would just BS around and make gorilla noises at each other (I don't know why, we were 12 and it was funny I guess) and she would always turn around and shoot everyone looks.
I developed a crush on her, and since we were both introverts we never really talked and I never conveyed my feelings to her. But when the last couple weeks of school rolled around, I found some courage in myself to start waving at her, and smiling, which would lead to small conversations, which lead to me tapping her on the head when I would come into class, and it wasn't until the very last day of school where she told me that she liked me.
That then lead to a very awkward hug before leaving school, and then another few weeks of awkward Facebook messaging.
Years later (I'm 20 now and she's 21) we now live together and have a beautiful 2 year old daughter, are planning on buying our own home within the next year or so, and to hopefully get out of our home town together. We had our daughter really young so I dropped out, got my GED, and have been working since to support us, so we have been able to afford and save.
I love our story and I thought this was the perfect thread to share it in, hopefully it doesn't get buried, thanks for reading :)
Nearby Octagons
Dating app called Whiplr. Joined it, it's laid out like a set of octagonal tiles with the ones nearest the top being nearest to you and as you go down they get further away. Sent a message to this girl that wasn't too far away from me and asked if she'd be up for chatting and once she said ok we had a brief chat.
At the end I asked if she'd be ok with me messaging again and that was ok so we built up our conversations in terms of length and depth and went on a first date about a month later. We've been together almost 4 years now.
Therapy Made It Happen
I hope a story of how I met my now husband is ok for this post.
I was going to therapy and was encouraged to go out to events and parties. I met him at a university holiday event and we both volunteered to visit and give doughnuts to kids in the hospital. I pulled myself together and went to every party or hangout I was invited to, whether I wanted to or not. It was part of my therapy.
We got to know each other, got drunk with friends one night and we started to making out. Then we went on a few dates a slowly became serious. Our first dates were pretty easy going since we already knew each other and the dates were more fun than a scary interview.
We just celebrated 2 years of marriage.
Ask One Out
I was talking to a friend at work about why none of my chats on tinder seemed to go anywhere and how it was getting me down.
She then reminded me that if I wanted to go on a date with any of the them I'd actually need to ask one out. I tried and it turns out girls will actually say yes to dates quite a lot if you ask. I'm now engaged :)
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Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.