People Share Red Flags To Look For During A Job Interview That Scream 'Toxic Workplace'
Interviewing for a new job is just as much time for the employer to see if you're a good fit as it is for you. There are a few things that you might want to ask about to get a good idea of the workplace culture.
The answers to those questions are going to paint you a good picture of what it's like to work there. And sometimes that picture is not pretty.
Toxic work environments are not worth the headache, even if it's a good paying job. We made a list of some of the red flags to look out for in the job interview.
Redditor RexJgeh asked:
"What are some red flags during job interviews that scream 'toxic workplace?'"
Take notes!
They didn't have an answer.
"I asked the manager, "What are you most proud of when it comes to your staff?'"
"They couldn't think of anything."
"One time I asked an interviewer what their favorite part of working there was and her response was, 'Umm….. Umm…. Honestly, I'm not sure let me think.'"
"Literally it took her 30 seconds to come up with anything and her only response was, 'We start really early in the morning so it's great to get off work at 2:00.'"
"Lmao BYE!!!"
"I'm going to try to remember this, and use it next time it seems fitting. I enjoy asking bosses questions that don't beat around the bush, like 'What am I doing wrong and how can I improve?' when they come to my work area complaining about stuff. They have NEVER EVER had an answer yet."
"I took a job that seemed very promising. The first month was gold. We were making progress, adding to the team, etc. by month three, things all but shifted. The owner was lying to clients, work was entirely disorganized and their moods went from optimistic to scared."
"At my 90 day review, which was actually my 110 day review, the boss asked me what I was proud of. And because of the tension of the last week and my decision to leave because of the chaos, I literally said 'I appreciate my ability to stay tall in a windstorm. But aside from that, nothing.' We ended the meeting and I decided to put in my notice, but I figured I'd give it more thought, so I decided not to be impulsive."
"For whatever reason I decided to give it another week. And the boss gives me a call and cowardly laid me off and gave me a 12k severance. Glad I didn't quit."
Time is everything.
"The shorter the interview, the more desperate the company is to just hire someone."
"Bonus points if the person currently in the position you're interviewing for has worked there for less than a year."
"Literally had a single 30-minute interview (that I thought was an initial) for a major position (that wasn't even the original position I applied for) and was offered the job about an hour later."
"…run away"
"Only if they offer you the job. If you have a short interview and dont get an offer, it means you bombed the first couple of questions and they had more to do with their time."
"Source: recently went through dozens of interviews with unqualified candidates and after one where the guy had no relevant experience and couldn't answer basic questions like 'in a project, do you identify yourself as a leader, work horse, or other?'"
"We had to have a serious talk with the recruitment team about the folks they were greenlighting for interviews."
Unnecessary overtime.
"I was trying to find a better advertising job and during an interview I asked about how much overtime I could expect."
"Owner of the company goes, 'Well, you know, we try to get home on time, we do try. But, hey, this is the life we chose.'"
"Dude, you make billboards for restaurants...you're not saving lives here. The most frustrating part about working in advertising is that so many of the late nights could be avoided with slightly better management and less over-promising to the client. Glad I'm out of it, now."
- SeaTie
"This is something I had to emphasize to a manager. My office was hit hard by COVID, and I happily put in the overtime, and still do when we get hit by surges of COVID work, because delays can literally mean death."
"But before COVID, we were a 40 hour a week office with very rare overtime. COVID seemed to transform the expectations that we'd just stay on our extended schedules forever, and would take in that much more routine work to replace COVID work."
"But I don't want 30 extra hours of routine overtime work. No one dies because we aren't doing that work. I could make 3 times as much elsewhere with the expectation that I work 80 hours a week. I intentionally chose the lower-paid, 40-hour job."
- Fadnn6
"The last place I worked at the Marketing staff had a saying 'the struggle is real.' The Marketing manager wasn't allowed to talk to the Technology department UI developer because the developer thought the manager was way too mean."
"Advertising is one of the most fucked up, toxic industries I've ever worked in. No client, agency trust. Many many agencies' only competitive edge is to underprice their work. Work their employees to death without batting an eye. Don't distribute their revenue streams so they lose a client and there goes 40% of their billing and subsequently their staff. Employees constantly throwing each other under the bus. And employees are grossly underpaid."
"Definitely don't miss going into work and seeing 1/3 of the company gone one day and wondering if I'm next."
- bensonnd
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Look for the subtext.
"'Fast-paced, dynamic environment' can be code for 'look, we don't have our sh*t together.'"
"'Expect to be putting out a ton of fires.'"
"'We all wear several hats here!' = You'll work 5 different jobs and get paid for 1."
"'You'll wear many hats,'" means they're going to make you do what should be the jobs of several different people."
"Got told once for my first job's orientation: 'No one here is above cleaning toilets! We all help each other out,' …. Actually, I didn't go to school to clean sh*t off of the company toilets sorry."
"This one makes me mad. When I was first hired to fix the organization I'm currently at, the department head would not place our buildings on the janitorial rotation. It wasn't because there was no funding for it or anything, oh no, it was because that was what the night shift was for. I couldn't believe how insulting he was and that he felt it was perfectly acceptable to make employees clean toilets that every staff member used. We have janitorial services now, but dang that made me angry back then."
Work and play.
"'We work hard and play hard here.'"
"Also known as, 'There's a lot of overtime, but we put up a Ping-Pong table to make up for that. Also we have weekly social events that we legally can't force you to attend, but that you really should attend.'"
- Rannasha
"Also, the Ping-Pong table isn't in a separated space so in case someone does play, the people who are trying to focus on their work will look like d*ckheads if they try to speak up about the noise! It's a cool new way to create unnecessary strife between coworkers!"
The desperation.
"No interview, just, 'Can you start tomorrow?'"
"Lol the only time I've heard this was when I was applying to summer jobs in high school and one place I applied to was Vector marketing (a pyramid scheme company). Luckily, someone told me it was a pyramid scheme before I actually started 'working' there."
"When I was young, I had an interview at a car wash."
"It wasn't 'start tomorrow,' it was 'start right now.'"
- Thneed1
"I was kind of put off when my current job was pretty much that, but I kinda knew why. COVID gave them a lot more work than they had employees for, I was recommended by someone we both knew, and they guy I was replacing was only leaving after 6 years to start his dream career."
Still very off putting when I didn't send in a resume... I don't even think I told them what I was doing for work at the time."
"But they treat me well and were completely prepared if I came in with absolutely 0 knowledge of the field. Almost 2 months in and it's great. I guess it varies from job to job."
A few Redditors mentioned there are some jobs that just don't need an extensive interview process.
"Literally any job in food service lmao."
"That led to one if my best jobs. Not even 'can you start tomorrow?' But 'can you start right now?'"
"The job was with a catering company, washing dishes for cirque de soleil. The dude paid me 15$/hr to wash dishes (this was like 10 years ago to). When I got a gig playing a show 4 nights a week he was cool with it and told me to chase my dreams and let me work the other shifts, hiring a pt guy to cover my lost shifts."
"Everyone there was super friendly and we had a lot of laughs."
If the first person you see isn't having a good time...
"Irritable and/or nasty receptionist."
"Just don't even bother trying to navigate the minefield of a place where even the person who is paid to smile can't quite manage it. Life is too short."
"I used to be able to avoid applying places where people didn't seem happy. Not a thing anymore. And you can barely trust Glassdoor."
"Lmao I looked up a company I was applying to once and saw a Glassdoor review from someone who gave it 5 stars and really talked it up. I googled their name and they were the f*cking CEO pretending to be someone in a lower position. Red flags for me."
"They have a high turnover rate."
"It is very easily one of the questions you ask the interviewer, 'How many people have joined the company in the last two years?' If the answer is a lot, but don't have growth of the company to show for it, that means it's just people quitting that they need to backfill. I've also asked 'What is the average tenure of people in your group?' to get a sense for how long people have been willing to work for this manager."
"Turns out the opposite can be a problem as well. At my current job, the vast majority of my coworkers have been there 20-30 years. Not a great environment."
- ka36
Co-workers are not family.
"'We're a family here.'"
"Fell for that once. Never again. It was family until people got greedy and backstabbed each other. It's also where I came up with the 'drowning cat' analogy. If a cat is in water, it will claw the absolute sh*t out of anything it can to get out of the water. Get enough of them together and they will shred each other to pieces and still get nowhere (no, I would never do this, it's an analogy...)."
"Dude, my family is abusive. When they say this, I cringe."
"The family one is a huge red flag for me. I worked at a place that always talked about the team members being like a family. It meant you felt horrible about calling in sick, they'd guilt you into working over time because of the culture, and when you finally put in your leave or told them you where leaving you where treated like nothing. Bosses use the family thing to guilt you into being a slave!! My boss even tried to guilt us into coming in on the weekend and working for free!!!"
"Crab bucket mentality it's called."
"Crabs will pull other crabs down if they try to escape a bucket rather than climb out themselves."
- Tkieron
A current employee gave a tip.
"An employee looks up at you and slowly shakes their head while you are on a tour with management..."
"This happened while I interviewed at a competitor to my former employer. They were trying to poach me, and I was sick of my previous employer, so I went in and talked. They talked a good game and nearly had me convinced to join. We went through on a final tour and one of the employees made a subtle "stay away if you know what's good for you" gesture towards me while I was walking by."
"That guy saved me a lot of heartache because 6 months later the company lost a major contract, laid off 25% of the team and cut everyone else's pay by 25%+. I only know because one of my former colleagues went there and it hurt him financially."
"What a legend."
Just creepy vibes.
"I interviewed for an administrative management position with a smaller magazine publisher. There were rumors about the owner of the publication (not an easy person to work for)."
"I sit with an interview panel first for thirty minutes - Shipping Manager, Accountant, Legal, Layout Editor. Each of them introduces themselves in a very clipped manner. Each asked one question, read from a piece of paper. As I answered the question, no one took notes, no one asked any backup questions."
"Then I met with the CFO. The receptionist had to go back to her desk to get the office keys because the CFO's office door was locked. It was always locked. Meet with the CFO, and he asks the exact same four questions the panelists asked. He, too - no notes, no follow up questions."
"The I met with the owner. His office looked like it was meant to be a training room. Huge amounts of space, and lots of dead-animal themes art-ing up the place. I sat with the owner for about an hour. It seemed a pretty reasonable discussion. Then the final couple of questions."
"Him: 'You've met most of my primary managers. What do you think?'"
"Me: 'To be honest, they all seemed disinterested in the interview.'"
"Him: 'I know they are. I'll make the decision on who to hire. I just want them to have a favorite.'"
"*DING DING DING DING*"
"Effing creeepy vibes. Lock-down environment. Managers dealing with a psycho boss. And the money person's office always locked? Nope."
- Yabloski
Employers who are desperate will say anything to make you work for them. It's important to keep your eyes and ears open for red flag that clue you in on what's really going on.
Cringe!: The All-Time Worst Attempts At Flirting
Reddit user Veetojek asked: 'What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?'
Not everyone excels in the art of flirting, and who can blame them?
Getting the attention of someone you admire can be nerve-wracking, and your lack of confidence in the heat of the moment can be amplified and make you appear less attractive to the object of your affection.
Curious to hear examples of what to avoid in the pursuit of passion, Redditor Veetojek asked:
"What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?"
These advances are just genuinely bizarre.
Inept Pupil
"My friend in college started hanging out with 'pick up artists' and decided to demonstrate his prowess to us on the quad. His strat was to approach a girl and ask what she thought he should make for dinner that night (I guess it was supposed to lead to an invitation?) He then very-much-not-confidently approached a girl who was clearly in a hurry and, staring at the ground, delivered the line. The girl glared at him and, with great annoyance, said 'I have no idea! Spaghetti, or something?' And my buddy, still staring at the ground, said 'Oh-oh-ok. Uh, thanks' and shuffled away."
He also “learned” from this group that you’re supposed to touch a girl’s arm every time she laughs to condition her to associate your touch with a release of dopamine or endorphins or something. So I witnessed this several times as well, never done with any subtlety or charisma. He did finally get laid after about eight months of trying but the whole thing seemed creepy to me."
– Dr_broadnoodel
Weird Pitch
"It was me. In sixth grade I wrote a girl’s name on a rock and threw it at her during recess. Apparently they don’t like that 🤷🏻♂️"
– neon_eyeballs
"Did your approach change much from those days with the introduction of pokeballs?"
– OP
Stranger Danger
"On a walk with my dog, hot sweaty and not in the best clothes. This man drove behind me following me for a few minutes and I looked and said can I help you? He said let’s go on a date! Hop in!"
"I said no thanks and he revved his engine, asked if I was sure then sped off. I was legit scared."
– Allieora
These attempts at flirting are straight from a sitcom.
Down The Rabbit Hole
"A man asked a woman sitting next to me, 'I think your name is Alice since I'm lost in Wonderland.'"
– boukaree
"Oof. That made me cringe, imagining it."
– No_Letterhead_7683
Hairy Situation
"Guy on a trip saw a new girl in our group that he found cute. Decided to take the insult-as-a-form-of-flirting path and told her she had really hairy arms for a girl. Mind you, she had incredibly fair skin, so her hairs stood out more than usual. She, having too nice of a personality to say anything, laughed it off, covered her arm in a real smooth manner, and went on with whatever conversation was happening. My guy thought it worked because it 'made her laugh;' and you know you've got the green light when she laughs at your jokes. The next day he goes up to her during breakfast thinking he locked it up and exclaims, 'Oh my god your arms are so hairy that it's gonna make me sick!!' She doesn't laugh this time, runs back to her room, and changes into a long-sleeve shirt. She proceeded to wear long-sleeve shirts or sweaters for the remainder of the trip...in the middle of July. They didn't have a single interaction for the remaining 4 days."
– TYRONEmonies
Fumbling For Words
"My own. Drunk at a party talking to a cute girl she takes her glasses off. I thought this would be a good time for a genuine compliment. What my mouth said 'I like your face better with your glasses on' she just laughed. Pretty sure what I was trying to say is I like your glasses, and you have a pretty face. I just combined them."
– HooterEnthusiast
Clumsy Gymnast
"When I was in 3rd grade I had a crush on my babysitter."
"I decided to impress her by demonstrating my acrobatic prowess. I sprung from the side of a spiral slide and grabbed the monkey bars without touching the ground. Unfortunately, my hands slipped, I flipped through the air, and shattered my wrist in two places upon landing."
"My first thought was, 'Don't cry; be tough.' then I saw my wrist, it looked like a sine wave. I immediately started crying."
– ANerdCalledMike
Some guys come on way too strong
Hey, Barkeep!
"I saw two girls talking at a bar, and this guy walks up and interrupts them with a 'Heheheyyy, what are you ladies drinkin tonight eh? (Slaps the bar) Hey Barkeep, lemme get a couple rounds for these two!' They of course took the drinks, but promptly relocated away from that obnoxious dude."
– Xdude199
Bye, Scooter
"When I was younger I worked in a bar with a guy nicknamed 'Scooter.'"
"He'd say to any girl that was alone at the bar, 'Hi! My name is Scooter. I like to f'k. How do you like me so far?'"
"Some would glare and walk away, and a couple of times he got slapped across the face...but eventually he'd get a giggle."
"And he never went home alone."
– PJMurphy
Scene From A Gas Station
"When I was working at a gas station I had a dude just walk up to the register and just go ‘hey you have a boyfriend’"
"Of course he didn’t take ‘I’m not interested’ for an answer after. My assistant manager had to all put shove him out the door to get him to leave."
– SilverSoulFox
Daddy Cringey
"I worked in retail for a long time."
"I’ll never forget the time when this late 50s looking guy blatantly cat called an older woman who was wearing black boots. He said, 'Damn baby you gonna wear those boots all day for daddy?'. Then she goes, 'Not a chance.' He went quiet and she walked away. I had to hold in my laughter cause it was just so cringey to see."
– xSevusxBean4y
Either one's advances can come off as presumptuous and cocky or vulnerable and meek.
In most cases, people looking for love are overthinking it.
Here's a tip: Just relax and be yourself when approaching someone you like.
Being natural will not make you look desperate.
While there are no guarantees in scoring a date with this approach, chances are that with practice, you'll gain more confidence without overdoing it.
As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Nonetheless, several brands and businesses will sometimes make noticeable changes, be it to reach a wider audience, or simply to shake things up a bit.
In some cases, the effort pays off, like Dunkin' Donuts, who decided to stretch beyond simply selling doughnuts and coffee, eventually even dropping the "Donuts" from their name, but losing none of their popularity.
Other times, things don't go as smoothly, such as when IHOP (an acronym for the International House of Pancakes) temporarily changed its name to IHOB (International House of Burgers), which turned out to be nothing but a weeklong publicity stunt, but was met with anger and vitriol from it's fanbase during that controversial week.
Redditor Fflewddur_Fflam_ was curious to hear what other brands the Reddit community thought betrayed their core audience to disastrous results, leading them to ask:
"Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?"
Humans Are Technically Animals...
"Animal Planet."
"Their tagline became 'surprisingly human.'"
"Nobody wants to watch ANIMAL Planet for people."
"They have other channels."- rainbirdmelody
You Could Say Their Mission Slipped Through The "Cracks"...
"Cracked.com."
"There were a couple years there where they transformed from a second rate Mad knockoff to some of the smartest, funniest stuff on the internet."
"Then the people who held the purse strings decided listicles and photoshop contests were more profitable than a writing staff."- MichaelMyersResple
"StumbleUpon."
"It was a small website giving you randomized internet pages which I used to browse for hours as they were so fun."
"Now it turned into Mix and I have no clue what it is."
"Pretty sure no one uses it and it makes me sad."- MightyDaisy
Working On It GIF by KAT BALLGiphyLess Handcrafted, More Hand-Me-Down
"Etsy."
'Used to be a fairly cool place to buy and sell mostly handcrafted stuff and items to make handcrafted stuff."
"Now it's basically shady Amazon with worse shipping."
"Everyone seems to be drop shippers and a lot of the more niche crafter/artisan things are pushed out and overwhelmed by cheaper, mass produced goods."- THIS_IS_MY_JOYSTICK
The Dreaded Paywall...
"Photobucket!"
"Back when forums were still a thing, Photobucket would host your images for free."
"Then one day they decided EVERYONE would have to pay monthly, no free tier, nothing."
"We all collectively agreed we would not be paying, and that was that."
"I feel like it may have contributed to the death of forums."
"Ruined a few of my car build threads, that's for sure."
"To this day they still send me emails a couple times a year threatening to delete all my photos if I don't come back."-pr0b0ner
Arguably, All For The Best?...
"Yik Yak."
"It was a way to have conversations with people in the area anonymously (really popular on college campuses)."
"They made an update to create user profiles and pretty much everyone just stopped using it because anonymity was the whole point."- Fakjbf
episode 16 moe GIFGiphyChocolate Lovers Revolt!
"This is incredibly niche, but in Norway there used to be two providers of chocolate powder, the kind you mix with hot or cold milk to make hot chocolate or chocolate milk."
"They were O'Boy brand and Nesquik, equally loved and enjoyed a healthy fanbase 'rivalry'."
"O'Boy is a Swedish product sold in Scandinavia and the Baltics since the 50s, Nesquik is of course Nestlé brand and sold all over the world."
"Sometime in the 2010s Nesquik decided to change the formula of the choco powder."
"I imagine to save money."
"And for making hot chocolate the new recipe was fine."
"What Nestlé underestimated, however, is that most Scandinavians drink their choco powder cold to make chocolate milk."
"The new recipe had a different type of sugar in it that wouldn't dissolve in cold milk, leaving a crunchy powder in the milk."
"Norwegians outraged, Nesquik was deemed useless, nearly everyone in the Nesquik camp migrated to O'Boy, and Nestlé lost almost all its market share overnight."
"A few months later, Nesquik is gone from the shelves nearly everywhere, never to recover from the blunder."- -Yngin-
Tornados Filled With Sharks Are Not For Everyone...
"Sci-Fi Channel."
"At some point there was no sci-fi on it."- AlienBeingMe
Tara Reid Storm GIF by SYFYGiphyNot Everyone Can Keep Up With The Times...
"RadioShack."
"They went from selling electronic components, little gadgets, and interesting tech bobbles to nerds to trying to sell expensive cell phone plans and sh*tty batteries to a different audience."
"We saw that the customers who came to RadioShack shifted from middle/upper-income engineers and tech geeks to lower income people in a six year period."
"Then we saw the geeks stop coming in at all because they would come in for some capacitor or breadboard, and the person there wouldn't know what that was."
"If it wasn't a phone, they didn't know."
"Even if it was a phone, they probably couldn't tell you anything about it."
"Old RadioShack employees were knowledgeable and well paid."
"New RadioShack employees didn't give a sh*t about technology."- 001235
Seems FittingThat Their Old Audience Is "History"...
"Anyone else remember when The History Channel was about history and not about aliens?"- rienjabura
Found Footage Video GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphyThere's A Reason They're Not So Well Known For Their Food...
"Every restaurant that opens in the UK goes through the cycle:"
"New and interesting food."
"Very different from most British food."
"Becomes very popular."
"Owners sell to a large company."
"Large company decides that being popular isn't enough, they want everybody to eat there."
"Make the food more British."
"Looming failure is hidden for a while because they attract new customers at exactly the rate they lose old customers."
"New customers have tried it, realize they can get that food anywhere, stop going."
"Chain closes and is replaced by a Greggs or Nandos, depending on the size of the location (not dependent on how far away the nearest Greggs or Nandos is."- skztr
Money Doesn't Solve Everything
"Quora."
"There were excellent groups with intelligent discussions."
"Then it became monetized and people submitted 100s of questions a day."
"'What time does the Walmart close in Boise?'" "
"'My 16 yr old came home with an A- so I took away their phone for 6 months'."- JanuarySoCold
Bored Sales GIF by EGiphySuccess can be a very dangerous thing.
As it can make you think about nothing but getting bigger, often resulting in your leaving people behind along the way.
A cautionary tale for young entrepreneurs.
What makes someone a 10?
It ain't all about looks, baby.
Looks are fine.
But charisma is everything.
There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.
That's why it's good to know your strengths.
Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:
"What is the most attractive thing about you?"
I think my eyes sell the whole package.
Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.
Connections
Yoga Anatomy GIF by YOGABODYGiphy"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."
Southern_Snowshoe
Lashed
"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."
bleepbloopmunchmunch
"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."
EasterButterfly
"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."
DesertRat012
Beauty
"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."
StrangersWithAndi
"That’s such a good quality."
Overall_Wish_912
Look Up
"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."
ConflictFast8743
"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."
CaptainLongshorts
"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"
abqkat
Light as a Feather
the office therapy GIFGiphy"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."
CheddarBurgers
"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."
random_username3184
Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.
Perfect
Regular Season Sport GIF by MLBGiphy"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."
KilnMeSmallz
"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."
Weeziir
For the Boys
"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."
SlayzorHunter
"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."
OkSwitch470
"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."
SlayzorHunter
Share With Me
"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"
PeterGivenbless
"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."
Krissyfox_7
"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."
East_Satisfaction242
Streaks
"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."
fuqaduck
"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."
604Ataraxia
The Nuzzle
"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."
sussyboingus
"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."
TWH_PDX
The Body
The Simpsons Dance GIFGiphy"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."
DrWiskers
Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.
Thank goodness.
When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.
Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.
Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.
Reddit user _Halboro_ asked:
"What was something fairly small that made you feel betrayed by your [significant other]?"
Unequal Devotion
"When he was doing a work contract overseas I sent him love letters every two weeks to feel connected."
"When he got home and unpacked I found many of them unopened."
~ athenasplanet
"My high school girlfriend lent my hoodie to someone else."
~ Responsible_Roll7065
"Gah! I had a University BF lend My hoodie to a girl (who was a smoker, too. 🤮)."
"There were at least 15 other single guys there that could have stepped up and lent her their sweaters, but mine was up for grabs!"
"And when I got it back it reeked. So, annoyed with him on multiple levels."
~ Au-stellar-12
Unequal Effort
"My sister was in the hospital and he didn't do the dishes while I was gone for 3 days."
~ shirleytrix
"When he got Covid, he was quarantined downstairs. I waited on him hand and foot."
"Three days later, I got Covid but while he was feeling better and still quarantining himself, I had to be sick and care for our son."
"I was stooped over the counter trying to make him dinner and he just went back downstairs. I’ll always remember that."
~ Lychanthropejumprope
"My sister, nephew, and mom went on a vacay for about 9 days including travel days."
"When she and my nephew got home, the sink was full of dirty dishes and so was the island in their kitchen. Their island is HUGE, bigger than what I would consider average for a home."
"There were also trash bags just sitting around the house and it was just absolutely disgusting."
~ Ill-Stomach1871
"It's small, but one year we were both working 15-18 hour days but had Thanksgiving off. I planned the menu, he didn't give input."
"I ordered the ingredients online during my lunch break to pick up after work because I didn't have time to shop."
"I woke up early, made everything. Cleaned the dishes and the kitchen after."
"All he did was complain."
"I made too much. I had too much wine (3 glasses over 7 hours)."
"After all that work and not even a compliment or a thank you?
"Yeah—we divorced. That was our last Thanksgiving together."
~ azorianmilk
Unequal Consideration
"After complaining for months that I never got to sleep in, despite being the only one to get up to the kids in the night, he finally let me sleep in one morning."
"I woke up hearing him quietly saying to the kids 'Mummy’s had long enough; go wake her up'."
"I only had maybe an hour extra. He always had several."
~ a-nony-mouse33
"I'm almost always up first. I tend the pets, get the kids going and make coffee. 20 min routine."
"Every morning I'd bring him a cup of coffee and open the curtains to let some sunlight in and then leave and he would play on his phone and sip coffee for half hour while I tended the kids and got to work."
"Then he complained that just because I was up didn't mean he had to be up."
"Guess who doesn't get hot coffee in bed anymore."
~ MsFlippy
"My ex would skip the songs I liked that came on the radio."
~ violet_hydrangea
"Was on my way back from Turkey with a nice stash of dried fruit from Afghanistan (imported to Turkey)."
"Declared it on my customs form."
"Got detained for agricultural reasons, said they would let me go but had to take the dried fruit."
"I looked and looked but could not find it. Was detained for hours."
"Turns out my girlfriend ate it all while I was asleep on the flight."
~ neuro_exo
Unequal Humor
"We were going through airport security together."
"She went first and when she was being screened, pointed at me and said 'make sure you check my boyfriend, he always has knives' as a joke and then I got detained for a search and questioning and almost missed the flight.
"And no, I didn't have any knives other other contraband on me. Then she got mad at me for almost missing our flight."
"LIKE WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN HERE EMILY‽‽"
~ ThadisJones
"When we were signing our first lease she joked with the landlord about how rowdy I am, to 0 chuckles or even a smile.
"I wanted to bang my head into a wall."
~ NCAA_D1_AssRipper
Unequal Respect
"I had a friend who dumped his girlfriend when he overheard her making fun of his (admittedly, rather nerdy) sister to her friends."
"He said it wasn’t just about loyalty to his sis, it was about not wanting to be with someone who has to put others down to feel better about herself."
"Always thought it was admirable."
~ whitneywestmoreland
"The most extreme case I know of is my dad and the girlfriend he had before my mom came along."
"He and the gf were high school sweethearts and had been together for three years. They were both dying to see Back to the Future 2, a movie that had been highly anticipated for years."
"He had a family emergency the day it came out so they agreed to see it the following Monday. He found out from friends she went to see it with a douchey guy friend my dad never really liked."
"He was so hurt and she was so unapologetic—her attitude was 'I’ll go see it with you too! Why did I have to wait?' even though they’d agreed to see it together. He told her they needed to take a break."
He fully meant for it to be temporary, just until he cooled off, but then he met my mom when he went to see the movie by himself…and he never looked back.
"He does feel a bit guilty though because his ex was pretty devastated when she found out he’d met someone else and wanted to end things for good."
~ levoyageursansbagage
People felt these were minor slights, but many seem pretty major from the outside looking in.
Most ended the relationship being described.
I guess it's proof positive that little things—good or bad—mean a lot.