Interracial Couples Explain What Shocked Them Most About Their Significant Other's Culture
Once upon a time mixing race and culture when it came to matters of the heart was tragically forbidden. The heart is going to love who it loves. And when it comes to finding happiness no one should be stopped by different cultural backgrounds. It can be loud and confusing to learn and navigate a loved one's family and all that comes with it. History is imperative in knowing your partner. It's also highly educational and hilarious!!!
Redditor u/haunted-shark wanted to hear from all the lovers out there, about what it's been like to be mixed in race, in their love story and how they learned about one another's histories by wondering.... Interacial couples, what shocked you the most about your SO's culture?Rice Away....
Not my relationship but my sister is french and is dating a Chinese guy. He buys so much rice she told me she could hold a siege for a whole year with it and she keeps texting me stuff like 'can you believe it???' with pics of kilos and kilos of rice he just bought. bumblebee_helee
Food Tears.
I'd never seen someone cry tears of joy eating good pasta until I met my Italian girlfriend. JMES241
"person who is old
Calling everyone an uncle or auntie when you mean "person who is older." The number of actual relatives is much smaller than the number of family members.
[edit: I love that apparently this happens everywhere except for white middle America. I first got it from my Chinese in-laws] oftenfrequentlyonce
I'm southern US and allllllllll my parents close friends growing up were "Uncle This" or "Aunt That" everything else was reserved for like just adults in general. RobotDeathQueen
Wabbly....
Jello. So many kinds of Jello. Every person in the surrounding South Dakota farming community brings a different kind of Jello to social gatherings. YoureDelightful
Because we hug...
My boyfriend is half Japanese, and his very un-emotional relationship with his mother, and his father too, was a huge shock to me.
My parents are european immigrants from the Balkans, and they're incredibly affectionate. My brother and I are affectionate with each other and will hug anytime. I hug my parents nearly every day (before the pandemic). I grew up holding hands with my cousins in public, but my boyfriend absolutely hates PDA of any kind. We've gotten into numerous arguments about physical affection in public or even at parties around our own friends. Naturally he thinks my relationship with my family is very weird. Because we hug... QueenYmir
Don't Listen.
When I was dating a Mexican, I'd go to his family parties and they would play the most foul mouthed gangster rap. Screw tha police blasting at a 5 year olds birthday. Abuelas and abuelos up and dancing to it.
I made a comment about how liberal his parents and grandparents must be. He said "oh they don't know English. This absolutely wouldn't fly if they knew what it was about." ohso_happy_too
Hands free.
Oooh being so touchy touchy. I'm Asian and she's Hispanic, 'nuff said.
Also what surprised us was the foods. There were so many things present in our opposite cultures but used in a lot of opposite ways. Like certain ingredients used savory in one culture and sweet in the other and so in. But a lot of ingredients in common. ThaiChili
Bye Nanna.
Black British with a Jamaican family. Married to a white British guy.
Was most shocked by funerals. When we had his nanna's funeral I was shocked that people were invited and only immediate family. We did the funeral, then went to a pub and there were sandwiches, cakes, tea etc then everyone was heading home by 5.30pm.
Jamaican and Caribbean funerals are NOTHING of the sort. People turn up because they knew the deceased person years ago. Some people don't even make plans to go to the funeral they arrange to go to the "after". There's hot food served like a properly catered function in a hall or centre, there's sound systems set up, and people dance. Also sometimes a couple old men in hats playing dominoes. There's also usually a "nine-night" so nine nights after the person passes away you hold a big party essentially to chase away bad spirits. Lots of music, drinking, food, smoking, etc.
I told husband about this and his face was a picture! AliceLovesBooks
Counting Coin.
Money management. I was quite surprised that when we got married, we were supposed to give away half of the cash we received as gifts to my SO's cousins. I was then instructed that it was rude to have a savings account. If we had extra money, it should always be given to the family as gifts. Not happening. MyDogIsaGargoyle
Everybody's Business.
I'm white that married a Mexican. The biggest thing for me was that EVERYTHING is a family affair. Like, I call my family every other week or whatever, but my husband's family does everything together. My first taste of this was when we were dating, and it took the whole family to switch out his mattress for a bigger one. I was like, you couldn't do that yourself? He looked at me funny when I said that. petiteandpale16
So Close...
The EXTREME family closeness. I'm black, but my family isn't particularly close - we live in different states, we talk probably weekly, I don't know the daily ins and outs of their lives. My wife's family though - my god. Take a wild guess at their ethnicity. I'll give you a hint - 90% of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins live in the same five mile radius in El Paso. redooo
Just Say Hello.
My wife had to deal with Korean people who will frequently comment about your appearance as a greeting.
My aunt meeting my SO: Hiiiii nice to meet you! your face is so small. fire_escape_balcony
Tick-Tock...
Being late to social gatherings is so ingrained in their culture that showing up right on time is considered rude. She has literally made me pull into a parking lot and wait so that we were at least ten minutes late to dinner at Tita's house. And we were still the first ones there by far. nails_for_breakfast
It's All Relative.
Sooooo much family. She is Samoan. It feels like every Samoan seems to be related. poisoop1or2
I LOVE big families, though! I came from a family in which my grandma is a child of 9 siblings and whenever we celebrate cny I would literally be able to meet my "nephew" whose 25 years older than I am due to how many cousins we have.
So, how does it felt like to meet so many family members though? I've asked my cousin's wife about this and she said she was pretty overwhelmed at first; what about you? haunted-shark
Well I moved country and went to live with her family at one point. I was the only white guy around. Yes it was overwhelming but I couldn't have been made more welcome. I have met and forgotten hundreds of relatives. Yes, I too have nephews that are a lot older than me and refer to me as Uncle. Great people with warm smiles and hearts. poisoop1or2
I Do!!
Weddings.
My fiancé (Irish) and I (Indian) started planning our wedding. We're both wanted to go for a small wedding and we sat our parents down and told them about it. I gave my fiancé a heads up to let him know that we'd have to operationally define what a small wedding would be to my parents because to them small would be like a 100 people.
He didn't take me seriously at first, but when we finally got down to it and told my parents, they came up with a guest list of just their friends and my family of about a 125 people.
As a compromise, we've finally arrived on 20 people for the wedding and my parents are throwing us a party after with whoever they want to invite. It was like a war negotiation. acidgreencanvas
Cheers...
They can drink. Like, seriously. Holy Crap. (Scandinavian, specifically Norwegian, Irish and Swedish). JohnGrant88
Cant' Go Just Anywhere....
A black women's hair is expensive and takes foreverrrrrr. Plus you can't go to any old salon for it. ChloeCohn
Even if I wanted to go to any salon it sadly isn't super possible. Despite going to cosmetology school, many stylists still do not know how to work with hair types that aren't traditionally white. My town has mostly white salons and only less than 5 women available who can do black hair. It's absolutely been an expensive struggle but the final look pays off when I can find a woman to do the job. Blue_Bloom
"Oh you're HUNGRY!"
I learned very quickly that when you are eating food at my Greek SO's house, you always leave a little bit on your plate. If you don't they'll say "Oh you're HUNGRY!" and pile 5 times as much food onto your plate. svenson_26
So Blunt.
Hispanic culture has zero version of political correctness. They are extremely blunt. "Hey you look like you got fat" isn't uncommon.
The people have a better view of life in many ways than I grew up. Much more family focused. carnagebestvillain
Pride!
My biggest surprise is the huge amount of Polish pride someone can have considering that they don't speak Polish or have been to Poland.
Her biggest surprise is that we play hide the money anytime we go to a relative's house. Also, the arguments that ensue when trying to pay the restaurant bill. krsparetime
Big Loud Love.
I'm half Spanish on my mum's side, we never really got on with my dad's family (which is sad, because some of his more distant relatives are amazing people), so I was raised in my mum's culture.
My husband's family are lovely people, but how their family works is so strange to me. When they talk to each other, it's how I'd interact with a work colleague I don't see very often- polite, cheerful, but never touching on personal subjects. They seemed horribly embarrassed when we called them to announce our engagement (we live on opposite sides of the world).
I was a bit offended until I got to know them better, they do care and they are warm- they just don't express it like my family do.
I did warn my husband about my family, but I don't think he really understood. We are LOUD. Loud enough that if you want to talk, you shout over everyone else. There are a lot of us. We are all up in each other's business. Our family will subsume you if they like you- he gained 5 aunts and uncles and 10 first cousins without asking for them. 80s-Dayglow-Kitten
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
- Non-Americans Disclose Their Biggest Culture Shocks When They Arrived In The USA - George Takei ›
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- People Describe The Things They Learned About A Different Culture Or Religion That Shocked Them - George Takei ›
Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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