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Interracial Couples Explain What Shocked Them Most About Their Significant Other's Culture

Love is love and mixing it up is all the fun.

Interracial Couples Explain What Shocked Them Most About Their Significant Other's Culture
Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

Once upon a time mixing race and culture when it came to matters of the heart was tragically forbidden. The heart is going to love who it loves. And when it comes to finding happiness no one should be stopped by different cultural backgrounds. It can be loud and confusing to learn and navigate a loved one's family and all that comes with it. History is imperative in knowing your partner. It's also highly educational and hilarious!!!

Redditor u/haunted-shark wanted to hear from all the lovers out there, about what it's been like to be mixed in race, in their love story and how they learned about one another's histories by wondering.... Interacial couples, what shocked you the most about your SO's culture?

Rice Away.... 

Not my relationship but my sister is french and is dating a Chinese guy. He buys so much rice she told me she could hold a siege for a whole year with it and she keeps texting me stuff like 'can you believe it???' with pics of kilos and kilos of rice he just bought. bumblebee_helee

Food Tears.

Giphy

I'd never seen someone cry tears of joy eating good pasta until I met my Italian girlfriend. JMES241

"person who is old

Calling everyone an uncle or auntie when you mean "person who is older." The number of actual relatives is much smaller than the number of family members.

[edit: I love that apparently this happens everywhere except for white middle America. I first got it from my Chinese in-laws] oftenfrequentlyonce

I'm southern US and allllllllll my parents close friends growing up were "Uncle This" or "Aunt That" everything else was reserved for like just adults in general. RobotDeathQueen

Wabbly....

Giphy

Jello. So many kinds of Jello. Every person in the surrounding South Dakota farming community brings a different kind of Jello to social gatherings. YoureDelightful

Because we hug... 

My boyfriend is half Japanese, and his very un-emotional relationship with his mother, and his father too, was a huge shock to me.

My parents are european immigrants from the Balkans, and they're incredibly affectionate. My brother and I are affectionate with each other and will hug anytime. I hug my parents nearly every day (before the pandemic). I grew up holding hands with my cousins in public, but my boyfriend absolutely hates PDA of any kind. We've gotten into numerous arguments about physical affection in public or even at parties around our own friends. Naturally he thinks my relationship with my family is very weird. Because we hug... QueenYmir

Don't Listen. 

When I was dating a Mexican, I'd go to his family parties and they would play the most foul mouthed gangster rap. Screw tha police blasting at a 5 year olds birthday. Abuelas and abuelos up and dancing to it.

I made a comment about how liberal his parents and grandparents must be. He said "oh they don't know English. This absolutely wouldn't fly if they knew what it was about." ohso_happy_too

Hands free.

Giphy

Oooh being so touchy touchy. I'm Asian and she's Hispanic, 'nuff said.

Also what surprised us was the foods. There were so many things present in our opposite cultures but used in a lot of opposite ways. Like certain ingredients used savory in one culture and sweet in the other and so in. But a lot of ingredients in common. ThaiChili

Bye Nanna. 

Black British with a Jamaican family. Married to a white British guy.

Was most shocked by funerals. When we had his nanna's funeral I was shocked that people were invited and only immediate family. We did the funeral, then went to a pub and there were sandwiches, cakes, tea etc then everyone was heading home by 5.30pm.

Jamaican and Caribbean funerals are NOTHING of the sort. People turn up because they knew the deceased person years ago. Some people don't even make plans to go to the funeral they arrange to go to the "after". There's hot food served like a properly catered function in a hall or centre, there's sound systems set up, and people dance. Also sometimes a couple old men in hats playing dominoes. There's also usually a "nine-night" so nine nights after the person passes away you hold a big party essentially to chase away bad spirits. Lots of music, drinking, food, smoking, etc.

I told husband about this and his face was a picture! AliceLovesBooks

Counting Coin. 

Money management. I was quite surprised that when we got married, we were supposed to give away half of the cash we received as gifts to my SO's cousins. I was then instructed that it was rude to have a savings account. If we had extra money, it should always be given to the family as gifts. Not happening. MyDogIsaGargoyle

Everybody's Business. 

I'm white that married a Mexican. The biggest thing for me was that EVERYTHING is a family affair. Like, I call my family every other week or whatever, but my husband's family does everything together. My first taste of this was when we were dating, and it took the whole family to switch out his mattress for a bigger one. I was like, you couldn't do that yourself? He looked at me funny when I said that. petiteandpale16

So Close...

The EXTREME family closeness. I'm black, but my family isn't particularly close - we live in different states, we talk probably weekly, I don't know the daily ins and outs of their lives. My wife's family though - my god. Take a wild guess at their ethnicity. I'll give you a hint - 90% of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins live in the same five mile radius in El Paso. redooo

Just Say Hello.

Giphy

My wife had to deal with Korean people who will frequently comment about your appearance as a greeting.

My aunt meeting my SO: Hiiiii nice to meet you! your face is so small. fire_escape_balcony

Tick-Tock...

Being late to social gatherings is so ingrained in their culture that showing up right on time is considered rude. She has literally made me pull into a parking lot and wait so that we were at least ten minutes late to dinner at Tita's house. And we were still the first ones there by far. nails_for_breakfast

It's All Relative. 

Sooooo much family. She is Samoan. It feels like every Samoan seems to be related. poisoop1or2

I LOVE big families, though! I came from a family in which my grandma is a child of 9 siblings and whenever we celebrate cny I would literally be able to meet my "nephew" whose 25 years older than I am due to how many cousins we have.

So, how does it felt like to meet so many family members though? I've asked my cousin's wife about this and she said she was pretty overwhelmed at first; what about you? haunted-shark

Well I moved country and went to live with her family at one point. I was the only white guy around. Yes it was overwhelming but I couldn't have been made more welcome. I have met and forgotten hundreds of relatives. Yes, I too have nephews that are a lot older than me and refer to me as Uncle. Great people with warm smiles and hearts. poisoop1or2

I Do!!  

​Weddings.

My fiancé (Irish) and I (Indian) started planning our wedding. We're both wanted to go for a small wedding and we sat our parents down and told them about it. I gave my fiancé a heads up to let him know that we'd have to operationally define what a small wedding would be to my parents because to them small would be like a 100 people.

He didn't take me seriously at first, but when we finally got down to it and told my parents, they came up with a guest list of just their friends and my family of about a 125 people.

As a compromise, we've finally arrived on 20 people for the wedding and my parents are throwing us a party after with whoever they want to invite. It was like a war negotiation. acidgreencanvas

Cheers...

Giphy

They can drink. Like, seriously. Holy Crap. (Scandinavian, specifically Norwegian, Irish and Swedish). JohnGrant88

Cant' Go Just Anywhere....

A black women's hair is expensive and takes foreverrrrrr. Plus you can't go to any old salon for it. ChloeCohn

Even if I wanted to go to any salon it sadly isn't super possible. Despite going to cosmetology school, many stylists still do not know how to work with hair types that aren't traditionally white. My town has mostly white salons and only less than 5 women available who can do black hair. It's absolutely been an expensive struggle but the final look pays off when I can find a woman to do the job. Blue_Bloom

"Oh you're HUNGRY!"

Giphy

I learned very quickly that when you are eating food at my Greek SO's house, you always leave a little bit on your plate. If you don't they'll say "Oh you're HUNGRY!" and pile 5 times as much food onto your plate. svenson_26

So Blunt. 

Hispanic culture has zero version of political correctness. They are extremely blunt. "Hey you look like you got fat" isn't uncommon.

The people have a better view of life in many ways than I grew up. Much more family focused. carnagebestvillain

Pride! 

My biggest surprise is the huge amount of Polish pride someone can have considering that they don't speak Polish or have been to Poland.

Her biggest surprise is that we play hide the money anytime we go to a relative's house. Also, the arguments that ensue when trying to pay the restaurant bill. krsparetime

Big Loud Love.

Giphy

I'm half Spanish on my mum's side, we never really got on with my dad's family (which is sad, because some of his more distant relatives are amazing people), so I was raised in my mum's culture.

My husband's family are lovely people, but how their family works is so strange to me. When they talk to each other, it's how I'd interact with a work colleague I don't see very often- polite, cheerful, but never touching on personal subjects. They seemed horribly embarrassed when we called them to announce our engagement (we live on opposite sides of the world).

I was a bit offended until I got to know them better, they do care and they are warm- they just don't express it like my family do.

I did warn my husband about my family, but I don't think he really understood. We are LOUD. Loud enough that if you want to talk, you shout over everyone else. There are a lot of us. We are all up in each other's business. Our family will subsume you if they like you- he gained 5 aunts and uncles and 10 first cousins without asking for them. 80s-Dayglow-Kitten

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interracial couples

The All-Time Scariest True Stories People Have Ever Heard

Reddit user Ok-Bid-1179 asked: 'What’s the scariest 100% true story you’ve heard of?'

Creey forest at night
Adrian Infernus/Unsplash

People love horror films because they know the terror depicted on the big screen is pure Hollywood magic and completely fake.

But when it comes to true-life terrors, even the most dedicated horror film aficionados can be left trembling in their boots.

Curious to hear some of the most absolutely hair-raising events from strangers online, Redditor Ok-Bid-1179 asked:

"What’s the scariest 100% true story you’ve heard of?"

These real-life stories may keep you up at night.

Befriending A Murderer

"My uncle was in a bar one night and started talking to this random guy. He described him as 'a really nice guy.'"

"He met him a few other times in the same bar. They drank and talked about random stuff. Soon after, my uncle stopped seeing the guy at the bar."

"Idk how long after, but my uncle got notified that he had jury duty. He showed up and found out what it was for. A serial killer and the killer was his friend from the bar. Derrick Todd Lee."

"My uncle was promptly dismissed from jury duty for obvious reasons."

– I_am_dean

People had sinister stories related to jobs.

Late Night Shift Employee

"I work midnight shift at a gas station and I have for quite awhile at various stations in different areas with varying levels of criminal activity."

"I have regulars, of course. I’m a small-statured woman (as is my partner the other half of the week, and we’ve always been partners) so these regulars often worry about us and keep watch on creepy occurrences when they can."

"I had one man who worked in the metro an hour away who would stop in every morning for his cigarettes. He never smiled or seemed friendly, and as I often do, I tried to think of what I could do that might make him smile one day."

"It took many months but I finally pulled it off by having his cigarettes ready on the counter and already scanned for him to pay for as he walked in. He smiled, and then asked me"

“Do you ever get scared on the night shift? You small girl, is not safe.”

"I said I sometimes did but we could lock the doors and hide if we had to, and that the provincial police (think state troopers, if you’re American) had a station close by and came in often to get their highway vehicles washed. I had a good rapport with those police. He nodded and then told me a story about when he first moved to our country from Eastern Europe with his wife and child back in the late 80’s, early 90’s."

"He fell asleep at work one night at the gas station he worked midnights at. When he woke up, the phone had been ringing for hours and his manager was shaking him violently asking if he was alright. He was fine, he said, what was the problem? He was sorry he fell asleep."

"His manager screamed that it was fine he fell asleep, to look outside. All of their motor oil was missing and the outside of the place was a mess."

"The thieves had come and swiped all the oil and left him be because he slept through the entire thing, and then moved down the road to the next station for an encore. At that station, the clerk was awake and fought back, so the thieves stabbed him to death and left him to bleed out."

"When he finished telling me this, he concluded with."

“If you ever feel sleepy just lock the door and do it, it might save your life”

"I don’t work at that station anymore but I think about that guy all the time and wonder how his grandkids are."

"Here is a link to an article talking about how that poor other clerk’s killers were finally found 25 years later:"

https://toronto.ctvnews.ca/mobile/arrest-made-in-1990-murder-of-gas-station-attendant-1.2650933

– IgnorethisIamstupid

Trapped

"There was an incident in Trinidad where some maintenance divers were removing a plug from an oil pipeline and were instantly sucked into it. One was able to escape but the other 4 were trapped for days in a small, oil coated pipe for days with only a small air pocket to breathe in before they died. Thinking about it in detail and imagining what it must have been like for them makes me extremely uncomfortable."

– superficial_user

There's no creepier place than being in the woods. Especially when these sorts of encounters happen.

The Wrong Friends

"When I was 17 I was hanging out with 2 friends and they wanted to go smoke in the woods. I didn't feel like it so I drove them and waited in the car."

"After a while I was getting bored and decided to go meet them but there were 4 paths going off in different directions so I just took the biggest one. After walking for a few minutes in the pitch black forest (before flashlights on phones), I come across this dip in the trail and on the other side is a bench lightly visible due to the moonlight."

"On the the bench is sitting a man and another one in standing in front of him but I can only make out silhouettes. Being sure these are my friends I yell out to them before walking over. If you ever walked the woods at night it's just an uneasy feeling all around so I was cautious to begin with."

"Well it turns out, juste after yelling out to my 'friends,' both silouhettes turn around towards me. Not a word, not a sound, the guy sitting down starts sprinting FULL F'KING SPEED towards me in complete silence. I got the absolute f'k out of there sprinting also the other way and tripping over sh*t because I couldn't see anything."

"I finally get out and lock myself in my car, but I was really worried for my friends. Maybe a minute later I see them both coming out of a completely different path, they also confirmed they never saw me or anyone else. My heart still sinks just thinking about that dude sprinting in silence wtf was that sh*t."

– NoFutureGuy

The Homeless Camp

"Weird....I have a similar story!"

"Years ago I remember sneaking out of my friends house at night to really do nothing but walk around the neighborhood and hide from car headlights. We were young and bored. There was a 'homeless' camp that was down in some woods off the railroad tracks not too far from his house. We had seen the trail and knew what was back there."

"One of the homeless guys that lived there was actually an old friend of my buddies Dad, and he had stopped over a few times and my friends Dad let him shower there and everything. He could have worked if he wanted, but legit told us he just liked living 'off the grid'. Just wanted to give you some backstory on the reason why we thought it would be cool and 'safe' to go check it out at night."

"We were a bit nervous at first thinking what if we get there and his Dads friend isn't there...so we were sneaking up on it. It was a longer walk than we thought. We got kind of close and saw there was a fire going lighting up the woods a bit."

"We start sneaking closer but the trail seemed to continue straight, while the camp set off the trail to the left. We got idk maybe 100 feet from the camp (about 30 meters) and we looked down the trail and saw a faint silhouette of what we thought was a person. The silhouette looked like it was coming from deeper in the woods towards the camp. We froze and ducked slightly to the side of the trail."

"I told my friend that I didn't like it, and we should just sneak the hell out. He said he had the same feeling. As I said, the fire at the camp was just enough to light the area well enough to see. We end up slowly creeping slightly off the trail back to the railroad tracks. We get probably 30-40 or so feet (9-12 meters) and I told him I would rather just hit the trail and just slowly walk back because the bushes and trees and everything were hard to navigate and I would rather be able to see something coming so we could book it out. We played football and were both pretty fast."

"We slide out of the brush and see the silhouette has gotten closer, however moving further from the fire, the light was dimmer, but we could still make out someone or something was standing there moving closer. My first thought was that maybe they saw us duck into the bushes and were coming to check, but it just felt off. My friend and I looked at each other and both mutually and silently decided to pick up the pace. Almost on que, we both looked back and the silhouette was now BOOKING IT TOWARDS US ABSOULTELY SILENT. No noise, just fast movement. We high tail it as fast as we can."

Thankfully, the trail was wide so we weren't bumping into each other or anything. Neither of us looked back until we hit the railroad tracks, then hit the railroad track bridge and were on the other side. I looked back as I was slowing down, past the bridge and didn't see anyone. We got back to his house pretty fast and luckily that was the end of it."

– ZekeMoss18

Life is full of many creepy mysteries.

It's no wonder many films are based on actual events.

The ones that terrify me the most are the home invasion movies like The Strangers.

It may have been Hollywood that dramatized events depicted in the film, but there's no doubt such horrific events that have happened in real life are enough to keep us up at night and on high alert.

scary

Notorious Frauds Who Somehow Still Have A Following Despite Being Exposed

fraud themed artwork
@bastardbot/Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Cognitive dissonance is when one learns new information that challenges a deeply held belief that seems to undercut a favorable self-image, that person may feel motivated to somehow resolve the negative feeling that results—to restore cognitive consonance—by ignoring the challenging source.

This isn't the only response to cognitive dissonance, but it's the one most people are familiar with.

This behavior explains people believing something—or following a leader—despite all the contradictory facts. Outsiders look at the situation and are amazed that their adherents can't see the absurdity of the fraud.

But it's a common occurrence.

Just spend some time watching documentaries about cults and you'll see all the proof you need.

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life

Insider Secrets Casinos Don't Want Us To Know

a casino table with a lot of chips on it
Kaysha on Unsplash

According to the American Gaming Association, there were 1005 casinos in the United States as of December 2022. They accounted for $328.6 billion in economic impact with $101.4 billion gross casino revenue.

With all that activity and cash, casinos have to be carefully crafted, well-oiled machines.

For an industry based on luck, they leave almost nothing to chance.

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work

The All-Time Biggest First Date Red Flags

couple dining out
Photo by Wiktor Karkocha on Unsplash

When you're on a first date, one of three things will happen. Either you'll like the person and want to go out again, you like the person fine, but not romantically, and won't want to go out again, or the person will display a behavior that is so off-putting (or make you genuinely fearful), that you won't even want to see the person ever again.

My best friend and I are basically the same person, so when she met a guy who he had a lot in common with, she figured I'd like him too and set us up (I had previously told her I was okay with being set up).

Well, it turns out the guy actually hadn't read any of the books, watched any of the shows, or heard of any of the bands he talked about with my friend. I didn't understand why he would lie about all these things until I left the table.

When I came back, he was on the phone with someone and he was telling them he only told her he liked all those things because he liked my friend. When he found out she was in a relationship, he decided he'd let her set us up in the hopes that he could date me until my friend and her boyfriend broke up, and then he could swoop in.

I just walked out and when he finally texted me asking what was up, I told him I overheard him, then proceeded to block him. My friend was mortified to hear about the date, and I decided never to be set up again.

I'm not the only one who has gone on a date and discovered a huge red flag. Redditors have experienced this too, and are eager to share their stories.

It all started when Redditor APT3993 asked:

"What’s the biggest red flag you have seen on a first date?"

Dates Of Relationships Past

"They won't shut up about their ex."

– SiriusGD

"Had this happen to me on a 2nd date."

"Asked if she could use my computer, I said OK. Then she pulls up her ex's FB profile to browse through it, and she spent the next 10 minutes comparing me to him, saying he she thinks that I will turn out to be controlling and manipulative like him because we both grew up on a farm and we both like cars."

"Ummm, wut?"

– alwaysmyfault

"He angrily told me I would “love” his ex wife. Proceeded to cry while talking about her. They’d been divorced for 5 years. I genuinely hope he is doing better."

– TX_Mothman

"She constantly compared me to her ex, and sat on her phone for most of the night, then expected me to pay for her two bottles of wine, plus really expensive meal and desert."

"She asked me out btw, not the other way around."

– Stuspawton

I Know What I Want

"The guy who tried to change my order with the waitress because he didn’t think the drink I’d asked for was sufficiently feminine."

"I ordered beer. I don’t remember exactly what he thought I should have, maybe white wine? It was a long time ago."

"The waitress was looking at me like ‘You heard that sh*t too right?’ and I told her actually I wouldn’t have anything, thanks, and I left."

– MaggieLuisa

"He changed it FROM A BEER TO SOMETHING ELSE!!?! That’s amazing to me. Like it’s bad enough if you ordered an IPA and he said, “I dunno, sweetie, your delicate female taste buds probably can’t handle the hoppiness. Hey, honey, why don’t we get the lady a Coors.”"

– AdaptiveVariance

The Position Of Boyfriend

"We met for drinks after work (since we both work in the same industry) and she showed up with a list of interview questions. She literally had a checklist on her phone for me to fill out. I thought she was joking at first, but the questions were extremely personal, like how many sexual partners you've had, the oldest, the youngest; How much money you made the previous year; If you owned a house, a car, a boat, a plane; Did you have a criminal history; Where do you parents live; Are they alive; Who did you vote for in the last election; All kinds of stuff like that."

"I even proposed that we could just use that as a conversation starter and we could work through them like that as a fun way to get to know each other. I was really trying. She tells me that she's not answering any of them because I'm trying to date her, not the other way around!"

"I laughed out loud thinking she was kidding, then realized she was absolutely serious. I wished her all the best in the dating world, chugged my beer, overtipped the waitress, and left."

– OkFrostina

"Yeah, I would really push that to the limit without getting law enforcement involved. Start with all the times I have ended up in rehabilitation, my abductions by UFO, the wild, kinky sex partners I have had, the millions I have lost before living under a bridge, etc."

– passporttohell

Scary As Hell

"Had a guy who insisted on buying the most expensive pizza at the restaurant despite my protests then kissed my head when he walked past me to use the restroom. After dinner we walked along the waterfront, he kissed me and then immediately tried to choke me "to be sexy". First date, last date."

– Twours1944

"What the sh*t?? Who taught this idiot that choking in public on the first date all without consent is a great get-to-know-you move??"

– villainsimper

Stranger Danger

"This was literally the day of a first date. But I had matched with an older man when I was still on dating apps. We planned to go on a hike on a very beautiful day by the water. On the day of the date, he wanted me to leave my car at his place, while he drove us through the backwoods so we can beat traffic. I said I’ll be happy to drive myself, and he laughed and canceled. His reasoning was he’s been stood up so many times and he didn’t want to waste his time and me not show up. I said “okay!I apologize for the inconvenience. I hope you find what you are looking for. “and blocked him."

"The red flag was when he genuinely got upset that I didn’t want to ride in a car with a stranger through the backwoods for our first date."

– Jesusdoescrack

"You should have said “you fear being stood up, I fear being murdered.”"

– The_She_Ghost

Truly Gross

"He pointed to another woman at the bar and said she was his ex. But she happened to be my lesbian roommate."

"Yes, I told him I knew he was full of it cuz she was my roommate, and I pointed out her girlfriend who was there with her. I don’t remember what he said exactly but he had no choice but to admit he was lying. I wish I had asked why he said it. I assume to make me jealous? Like that’s a good way to start a relationship? Obviously, that was the only date."

– Grapegoop

​Those Who Came Before

"He told me he had been divorced 5 times. I'm taking the advice of 5 women I don't know."

– 13liz

"The way you phrased this killed me 😂"

– CumulativeHazard

Got Her Feeling Emotions

"Does bursting into tears after I told them I didn't like a TV show count?"

– JumboDakotaSmoke

"I'm curious as to what TV show it was?"

– ladydamnation

"Grey's Anatomy."

– JumboDakotaSmoke

"bursts into tears"

– akennelley

Um...What?!

"He took me to his house (he lived with his mom) just so HE could eat dinner with his mom while I sat in the living room. I listened to them eat and talk about my looks like I couldn't hear them. Apparently, I was pretty but "needed to be taken down a peg or two." I said my period had started so I had to go home. A future abuser and his enabler mommy."

– BigMcLargeHuge77

Ew...Just Ew

"We went to a movie. He spent the first half with his hand inside one of his socks, then pulling it out and smelling it, putting it back in, repeat, repeat."

"Then he spent the second half trying to hold my hand. With his sock hand."

– Deleted User

Bad From The Start

"She asked if I could order for her because she was uncomfortable talking to the brown waitress.

"Added: Same girl would not stop talking about Kardashian gossip even though I told her I know nothing about them and didn’t care to know."

– CanaDoug420

Stop, Theif!

"He showed up drunk with a bouquet of flowers he admitted he stole from his mother's flower shop."

– LookAcrossTheWater

​Cringe-Worthy

"Went to a charity coffee shop for a date. It was “free” coffee where they just ask for donations which went toward their org’s efforts to feed and house people. They explained this to him and asked if he wanted to make a donation for our drinks."

"He said no."

– Shredded_Wheaties

Oh, yikes! I would be so embarrassed!

In fact, I'm kind of losing faith in dating as a concept.

bad first dates