Everyone always harps on the importance of first impressions.
But we also need to pay attention to all that follows.
I'm starting to believe a first impression can be a great fake-out.
People will allow their true colors to shine over time.
Redditor Xanax_Sprite wanted everyone to open up about what things people can do that immediately change one's opinion of a person's character, not for the better.
"What immediately makes you think less of someone?"
It's entirely too easy to turn me off. I admit, it's an issue. Maybe that's a thing people suddenly dislike about me.
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"Intentional embarrassment. When someone brings something up in front of a group to humiliate someone else."
"Not taking responsibility for their actions."
"Even worse. people who make excuses for their mistakes, no matter how bluntly you point it out to them that this is their shortcoming. Man up and admit you make a mistake. Stop telling me A happened then B happened so C happened. we are here to work, not tell each other make believe stories."
"Someone who interrupts a serious conversation to make it about them."
"Being subject to that infuriating s**t was what eventually inspired me to listen to people more, especially regarding heavier topics. Sometimes people just need to be heard and held, and it isn't fair for them to expose their vulnerabilities only to have you dismiss them by trying to make their suffering about you."
Where are they?
"How they speak about a person who is not present in the conversation."
"One of the most important lessons my father taught me..."
"Don't speak about a person if they're not in the room."
"They don't have a representative in the room and especially if your words get back to them and they can't say 'I know, he already had that convo with me.' I've earned a rep for not speaking behind people's backs to the point where when someone claimed I did, that person called them a liar. Pops sucked but I thank him for that lesson."
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"100. People can change their opinions, but not flip flop regularly."
I can't with hypocrites. My life's biggest pet peeve.
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"Yep, had a coworker once who spit on the floor inside."
"It was a warehouse-type building, but still. This particular guy also left cigarette butts on the floor inside and dumped a dog on the business property. Needless to say, he didn't last long here. Some people are just really rude and stupid."
"Had a friend who never, ever apologized for anything or really took any responsibility. Even in situations which were funny and non-serious, he’d always talk his a** out of it (in a jokey matter). But when some s**t hit the fan, that guy turned into one of the scariest, manipulative and aggressive people I’ve met that would rather die than take accountability for the things he’s done."
"And for which there were many witnesses and evidence against him. Moral of the story, if you know someone who won’t say sorry or admit they did something wrong for even the least serious things, run, because when they actually do something seriously bad it’s just gonna get real ugly."
Face 2 Face
"Lying to my face. There’s no going back in my eyes because I will never trust you. Secrets are fine and dandy. That’s not quite the same as straight up lying. A direct example is people lying about their family dying to get out of work or when this older woman in her 40’s tried to lie about cleaning up her work station when she left it for me to clean."
“as a joke”
"Being mean to animals."
"Even when people joke about being mean to animals. I have a cat I love dearly and the number of comments I get about harming cats because people don’t like them 'as a joke' is infuriating and not funny, Ken."
"I include poorly training their pets in this. It’s neglect/negligence and it’s abuse."
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"When they’re looking at their phones, not paying any attention to you when you’re trying to have a conversation with them."
It doesn't take much to change an impression. Let's do better.