"How does someone so sexy be so damn repulsive, babe?" is one of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite criminally underrated TV shows, Star. It's from the song Ain't About What You Got (a song which was originally for Ariana Grande, so it's got some vocal leaps) - which basically is the soundtrack to this article.
(Honestly, since Brittany O'Grady is having a moment right now, I'm hoping people will go back and watch. It's got a convoluted plot/dope soundtrack combo, Queen Latifah, multiple murders, some of the strongest hoop earring game ever put on screen and a series ending that made me want to flip tables. It was like Sopranos but with Black & Brown people and the music industry.)
Reddit user rock4lite asked:
"What instantly makes a man unattractive?"
Now listen, I'm not gonna tell you to go grab a notebook or the voice note app on your phone because you're about to get some mind-blowing new knowledge.
You're not.
Most of this boils down to Wheaton's Law.
"Meme Level Advice"
Channel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy"People do not understand how much basic hygiene can make a difference."
"I've been told by incels on this site that 'brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes that fit, and having good posture is meme level advice and none of that matters.' "
"Well, let me tell you that the folks that actually get in my pants don't think that's meme-level advice. Basics, like clothes that fit and non-stinky breath, can go so far in making anybody way more attractive and approachable!" - LikelyNotABanana
"They consider it meme-level advice because that's what everyone constantly tells them, because they desperately need to do it. If they didn't keep brushing it off dismissively people probably wouldn't say it so often."
"If you ask someone for dating advice and they even mention these things, you absolutely need to do them. I have NEVER heard that said to anyone except to gently suggest they need to wash their ass and not dress like a slob."
"If their argument is 'i dId tHoSe tHiNgS bUt i sTiLl cAnT gEt a dAtE,' they're deliberately ignoring the fact that those things are the bare minimum and that they will still need to put in effort beyond that. Dating advice goes into far more detail elsewhere. No one is even pretending that basic hygiene is a silver bullet to getting laid."
"If someone's dating advice to you starts there, it's because YOU need to start there." - xxpen15mightierxx
Let People Talk
Deep Breath Sigh GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Speaking over me or others, it's not hard to be polite" - n3rd365
"The men of my boyfriend's family all do this constantly."
"I'm not sure it's possible to speak an entire sentence while having dinner with them. It's so discouraging."
"I've always felt very bad for his mother, being the only woman, and never being heard by her own sons/husband." - assortedolives
"I came here to say this. Speaking loud in general is unattractive to me - then when it's OVER someone else, it makes it so much worse." - SunyBunny420
"This is huge for me. I met my current boo because my date brought him along."
"Date kept speaking over his friend and me. The friend was a good listener and great conversationalist. I ditched my date for his friend and we've been together 3+ years." - karmabuchamama
Ex Factor
Season 1 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy"When someone seems to only have 'crazy exes' ... you should run away before the sentence is over." - lurkinarick
"Honestly, bashing multiple exes at any time (there should be zero bashing for the first several dates because honestly idk you well enough & will just assume you're a dude who plays victim 24/7)."
"Once I've gotten to know you better it's okay to open up about a bad relationship or two- but frankly you should be able to not get overly emotional about it (like don't resort to name-calling or mean-spiritedness) or else I'm gonna assume you have not dealt with the fallout."
"I never trust a guy who acts like he's a 'crazy magnet.' Dude, you're the common denominator here, not them." - Crankylosaurus
"A guy once said 'you can't polish a turd' about his ex/kid's mom during a pre-date video chat. I was so put off that I cancelled the date almost immediately after." - science_v_romance
Cruel Is Not Cool
Rhony GIFGiphy"Being mean to appear cool." - azcntn
"I know this dude who is like a solid ten in all departments. I constantly joke that he's gonna steal my man, my mom, and the f*cking cats too."
"But the other day he was sharing his rebound stories and kept talking about he was gonna 'break hearts' and 'ruin her.' "
"I was like...bro eeeeew never let a woman hear you say that. You just turned into a sack of potatoes!" - RunanD
Pinnochio
disney classic GIFGiphy"I remember I dated someone who would just lie to make himself sound cool."
"I remember I realized it when his coworker was telling a hilarious story that I thought happened to my boyfriend. I instantly had this pit in my stomach. Biggest turn off." - makopinktaco
"There's nothing worse. Especially when there's a certain crowd or situation that brings it out. Like chill bro it's not a competition." - Coyote__Jones
"Yes. There was man I thought I was the most solid and reliable and hot as f*ck dude I'd ever met…I found out he'd been lying to me for a long time and it didn't take long for me to be turned off by him."
"Now I see his face and where I used to get all bothered (in a good way) I now just am annoyed and the word 'Coward' flashes across my brain."
"he knew lying was the only way I'd even meet him for coffee to date him. Had he been honest at first I'd never had met him for coffee, much less integrate him into my life, have each other's kids become family to one another, etc."
"He could've chosen to be honest after the initial meeting, too. Instead, he chose continually to omit info, and then as we got to know each other he had to lie more and more to keep me in the dark and maintain his original lie, and then he started lying to to cover other things up (things that were different than the initial lie but rooted in the same kind of bad behavior he consistently engages in.)"
"And then when our conversations about our histories and exes got to a point where he clearly needed to be honest and there was no more hiding to be done, he would suddenly go cold shoulder and stop being supportive of me. Eventually he resorted to gaslighting and subtle psychological abuse in order to make me shut up and not ask him questions, and so he could just keep seeing and flirting with his exes behind my back off and on."
"Nope. Never again." - Logical_Director_280
Table Manners
the lion king simba GIFGiphy"I remember a date I had with a guy almost 25 years ago."
"I remember it because we went out to eat at a local pizza restaurant. In the time it took me to eat half a slice, he had vacuumed up the rest of the pie which included loud, open-mouth chewing and belching."
"Chunks of food landed on his shirt. There were snuffling sounds as he shoved food down his maw. I don't remember anything else about that night but his disgusting method of eating. Total deal killer."
"I saw one of our mutual friends last year and she mentioned him. She told me he was heartbroken I never went out with him again and took it really hard at the time."
"I wasn't mean or anything and I never knew he felt so strongly about me. Absolutely no clue."
"But if that was the case, then that means he was probably on his best behavior that night. I can't imagine what worse manners might have come out if I'd seen him again." - DemonaDrache
"Friend of mine went on a date with a bloke in Uni who ordered pulled pork, and ate it like he'd not been fed in months. The moment my friend realized it wasn't going to work was when the guy looked up at him, and he had a smear of BBQ sauce on his forehead like Simba in the Lion King." - TheeAJPowell
Alpha Awfulness
Schitts Creek Ok GIF by CBCGiphy"Anything related to "alpha male" bull."
"If you tell me you're an 'alpha male' I will assume you have no personality, low self-esteem, are rude, abrasive, self-involved, and terrible in bed." - WrongRedditKronk
"I once had a dude I was actually kind of interested in refer to himself as an "apex sexual predator." I was no longer interested." - newyne
"Last week, I finally mustered up the courage to strike up a conversation with my gym crush after months of glances and smiles."
"He shared his Instagram, which was 'alphamale(his name).' Got over the crush so fast, there was some head-rush." - Biaatchandahalf
Glory Days
Seth Meyers Smoking GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"Talking about how hot they used to be like this coworker of mine does."
" 'I used to bike 10 miles a day, do 200 pushups in one go, and I even used to have that V cut, you know...down there.' "
"I'm just trying to send this email, Doug. Please leave me alone." - After-Collar-4582
"This is hilarious."
" 'So I'm not hot but I used to be which means I stopped putting work into myself and you should find that attractive.' "
"WHAT????" - refrainsfrompartakin
"Oh my god, people bragging about how fit they used to be is so obnoxious. Like cool, I used to have breakfast but I ate it." - rileytrodd
"A guy I went to college with would tell anyone who'd listen that he was a swimmer in high school and kept a close up photo of his abs on his phone."
"I can't tell you the number of times I've said, 'Yeah, you've already shown me that photo. Good for you.' " - Justaregularderp
Break Stuff!
destroy that 70s show GIF by LaffGiphy'Being destructive particularly when other dudes or other people are near by. Breaking things on purpose, hitting things that shouldn't be hit like walls or windows or destroying other people's art/property."
"It doesn't make you cool or strong it makes you a wasteful jerk I won't invite back into my life ever again."
"Mostly this came from stories from friends about their friends, stuff I've seen online and personal experiences with my brother."
"I was the only girl in a group of 5 guys when I was like 8 or 9 and all of them were super destructive when they all got together. Otherwise they were great."
"I had a crush on one of them but he was being destructive (I don't remember what he broke) and I quit liking him."
"Also my ex boyfriend's 'friend' destroyed a lot of his stuff, and he'd let him. Including a painting I made my ex for his 16th birthday."
"I was really proud of it and if he didn't want it he could have sent it back." - LessEnthusiasmPlz
Long story short, just calm down, relax, and be cool.
I believe in y'all!
- People Explain Which Items Are Criminally Overpriced - George Takei ›
- People Break Down Which Inconveniences In Life Bother Them Way More Than They Should - George Takei ›
- People Explain The 'Attractive' Traits That Really Turn Them Off - George Takei ›
- People Describe The One Quality That Makes Someone Instantly Interesting - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.